MLP Time Loops

by Saphroneth

MLP Loops - Gravity Falls Finale

(I apologize that this was not in the right place; breakdown of communication. I also apologize that I've simply not had the time to read this through; as such it bears a “not everything is necessarily canon” stamp to a slightly greater degree than normal, but that's procedural.
I also apologize for the length! This is ALL Gravity Falls, so if you're not a fan – skip.)

The Infinite Loops
Weirdmageddon
(ORBSyndicate -GM)
Conclusion to Gravity Falls: Friendship is Magic

The gash across the sky reflected in the eyes of all present, almost like it was suggesting they were blind to the ways of the cosmos. In the center of the cross-shaped hole, there was an ethereal triangle shape in the tallest of top hats and the most cool of bowties. He adjusted said bowtie, chuckling.
“AT LONG LAST… THE DAY WELL OVER ONE BILLION YEARS PROPHESIED HAS COME TO PASS! PHYSICAL FORM? DON’T MIND IF I DO!”
His ethereal body began to gain depth, translating from a simple geometric shape to a solid worthy of this plane of existence. He began to glow at all angles as living flesh wrapped around his entire form, leaving only the eye visible. Even that singular portal of vision was covered up as an exoskeleton of metal formed around the flesh, sparking with power. The entire shape went crystalline, flashing energy specks across the horizon. He soon became black as night, taking a pyramidal shape. Innumerable limbs sprouted from his body as each section rotated independently, his one eye looking down on the world below in judgment. His entrance into the physical world was complete.
The first thing he did was adjust the form to something more comfortable. He flattened it back to a nice, manageable triangle, not unlike the form he appeared in. But it seemed to have more substance to it, as if it was no longer something from out of a dream… or nightmare.
He turned to his adversaries, beings of indeterminate age alongside puny mortals. He laughed.
“THIS. IS. GOING. TO. BE. SO. FUN!”
“BILL!” Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and Element of Magic yelled. “Stop this right now or-”
“OR WHAT, MAGIC?” He taunted. “YOU MAY BE OUTRAGEOUSLY OLD AND WISE, BUT I WAS TRILLIONS OF YEARS OLD BEFORE IT WAS COOL!” He generated some sunglasses with a single lens. “DEAL WITH IT!”
Twilight reached into her Pocket, bringing out a tiara fixed with a sparkling magical crystal. Five of her friends did the same, producing necklaces each bearing their own crystal. Twilight’s eyes went white. “We will deal with it, Bill Cipher. We won’t let you run rampant.” The energies of the crystals combined, firing a rainbow of colors at Bill.
Bill squinted, focusing his power into a highly-complex spell. A beam of energy shot out of his eye and encircled the Harmonious energy beam. It was stopped in midair, collecting into a sphere of energy.
Bill laughed. “DID YOU REALLY THINK I DIDN’T HAVE A PLAN FOR THAT MAGIC? I’VE BEEN PLOTTING THIS FOR ETERNITY. JUST BECAUSE I DIDN’T EXPECT TO HAVE TIME TO RUN AROUND DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT PREPARED TO!”
“We’ll just find a way to hit you.” Twilight said. “Nothing is immune to the power of friendship!”
“NOT EVEN YOU!” Bill said, pointing right at them. As he said it, the ball of Harmonious energy shot at the six Element bearers, encircling them in a Bubble of energy. Thier symbols - balloons, clouds, diamonds, apples, butterflies, and stars - swirled around the edges of the unnatural magic. A dark chain wrapped around the Bubble, encasing them inside. Bill waved his hand, sending the Bubble far, far away.
He dusted his hands off, turning to the rest of the people who stood against him. He laughed as he saw their utterly horrified faces.
“NOW YOU’RE ALL WELCOME TO TRY AND STOP ME, BUT RIGHT NOW I’VE GOT TO PAY A VISIT TO TOWN. LET THEM KNOW IT’S UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT…” And with that, he was gone.
Government Agent Sweetie Drops, codename Bon Bon, ran after him, radioing in for backup.
Lyra, Looper with a split-personality disorder, stood up. She was ready to charge with her lifelong friend into danger, but she felt a six-fingered hand grab he shoulder.
“No, she can’t do anything to him.” Ford, her grandfather for this Loop, said. “We need to think this through rationally. We need to use our heads.”
The vote within Lyra’s head came out 3 to 2, the verdict being remain calm and (relatively) sane. She nodded. “What’s the plan?”
“I’ve been preparing for this scenario for a while now… I have an invention that just might do it. We just have to hope Bill hasn't managed to find a way to completely negate it. Come with me. Stan, you watch the Shack. It’s probably the only safe place in this Weirdmageddon.
Stan, Ford’s almost identical twin brother nodded, grinning. “I’ll make a killing charging people rent! Only safe place on earth!”
Ford sighed, but smiled nonetheless. “Come on, we don’t have any time to lose.”
“But time is dead.”
Ford, Lyra, and Stan all stopped, silent, slowly remembering that there was another among them. Starlight Glimmer McGucket, Receiver of Memory for the Society of the Blind Eye. She was obviously emotionally burnt out, a hollow look on her face. She held her hand close to her chest. “How can you lose time if it is dead? There’s none to be had… Nothing to save…”
Ford turned to her. “We must have hope that we can do something. For if we don’t, all is lost. The world will become Bill’s playground, something we simply cannot allow to happen. We must have hope that fighting back will do some good.”
Starlight glared. “What good has hope done any of us? I thought I could stop the future from coming, and look what’s happened! I’ve unleashed the One Eyed Beast upon reality! Look what hope got us!”
Ford shook his head. “Bill is known to twist and warp all our virtues. Being fooled by him is nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve been fooled more times than I can count-”
“My hope is what let him fool me!” Starlight yelled. “You think you are wise beyond your years, old man, but you are still naive!”
Ford backed up a few steps, startled. “Then tell me, what are you going to do now? Just give up? Sit here and die?”
Starlight’s anger faltered. She took a step back, pondering her existence. “...No. I swore an oath long ago to fight the One Eyed Beast. I will not lay down and let him conquer.”
“Then come with us, regain your hope.” Ford smiled. “We can defeat him.”
“Together.” Lyra smiled. “After all, the magic of friendship has to fit into all this somehow.”
Ford shrugged. “I suppose it does. Now come along, we’ve got an eldritch abomination to banish.”

---

“WHY HELLO THERE YOU THREE-DIMENSIONAL, ONE-LIFE, LINEAR TIMELINE, DUAL-EYED, UNSTABLE, IDIOTIC, FRAGILE, RANDOM-FINGERED, DUAL-GENDERED, SKIN-PUPPETS! FOR ONE TRILLION YEARS I’VE BEEN- YOU KNOW WHAT NEVERMIND. I’M BILL CIPHER AND I AM YOUR LORD AND MASTER FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. SUBMIT AND-”
“BILL CIPHER!”
Bill paused, turning around to see two women standing behind him. The townspeople cheered at the two towering women whose hair was flowing magically.
“CELESTIA AND LUNA. I SORTA EXPECTED YOU TWO TO BE EATING CAKE AND PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.”
Luna and Celestia’s faces were unwavering, their eyes fixated on Bill. Luna spoke once more, her voice shaking the earth. “YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE, BEING OF DREAMS. LEAVE NOW OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO USE WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY TO THROW YOU BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!”
“OH REALLY? YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN STOP ME? JUST WATCH!” Bill snapped his fingers and the church floated into the air, turned into a vampiric butterfly, and started eating clouds. “NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY POWER!”
Then, to Bill’s surprise, a pink pony appeared wearing a top hat and eyepatch. She pointed her cane at him. “AS MAYOR I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I UNLEASH A PARTY!”
Bill squinted. “DIDN’T I IMPRISON YOU?” He quickly scanned the pony’s mind. “OH. YOU’RE JUST A SHELL SHE USES TO RUN THE TOWN. HA. WHAT KIND OF POWER COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE?”
The Pinkie shell grinned. “PEOPLE OF GRAVITY FALLS! UNLEASH THE PARTY!”
Bill blinked as he heard several dozen large clunking noises, the sounds of heavy machinery. To his amusement he saw as several dozen buildings revealed holes in their roofs, bluish cannons appearing out of the tops. They all turned to aim at Bill.
The multicolored confetti shot out of the cannons with a festive PAWOO, racing towards Bill at speeds insanely fast. Bill simply cackled, clapping his hands. All the confetti flew into the air, collecting into a large sphere of multicolored terror. The ball quickly took the form of a gigantic bat with three heads, which began to breathe confetti-colored fire on the population.
“AHAHAHAH! MAN I LOVE FLAMING RAINBOWS!”
Celestia raised her hand, causing the confetti-bat to ignite in a blaze of glory. The confetti turned to cinders, and it began to snow ash. Celestia’s face was firm. “We will protect this town. And there is nothing you can do to stop us.”
Luna nodded, her eyes glowing with a kind of dark energy. A sphere of power appeared before her, sprinkled with the essence of the stars. It seemed to emanate fear and darkness. Several townsfolk turned and ran from it. Bill just rolled his eye. “YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU AREN’T WORTH IT. I’VE GOT SOME “FRIENDS” I WANT YOU TO MEET.” He looked up to the tear in the sky. “COME ON DOWN HENCHMANIACS!”
Luna unleashed the spell just as a strange goblin-like creature with 8-balls for eyes descended from the horrid tear in reality. The spell hit this being head on, knocking him into a nearby building. The building collapsed in on the creature, causing its body to twitch before ceasing all movement.
Bill sighed. “8-BALL YOU WERE ALWAYS THE DUMB ONE… CAN THE REST OF YOU ACTUALLY BE SMART?”
A pink, fiery one-eyed female descended from the sky, landing with grace. “Of course, Bill. Do you want me to take care of sunbutt?”
Despite herself, Luna let out a giggle. Celestia’s face darkened, literal smoke starting to emanate from her body. “What did you just call me?”
“Sunbutt. It’s his nickname for you.” The succubus-like being said, grinning. “He thinks you’re funny.”
Bill laughed. “NOW NOW PYRONICA, NO NEED TO TICK HER OFF FOR NO GOOD REASON. NOW LET ME INTRODUCE THE REST OF MY FRIENDS. WE HAVE TEETH, EXACTLY LIKE HE SOUNDS; THE BEING WHOSE NAME MUST NEVER BE SAID, XANTHAR; KRYPTOS, MYSTERIOUS SYMBOL OF WHATEVER; KEYHOLE, THE ONE WITH NO BRAIN AT ALL; HECTORGON, AMORPHOUS SHAPE, PACI-FIRE, THE SMOOZE, AND THESE GUYS.”
Bill held his hands high as his “friends” appeared behind him. From geometric shapes to eldritch horrors, from strange looking babies to demonic beings with symbols all over their body, these creatures had it all.
The most numerous of them, the eye-bats, began to fly around in formation, scanning the entire town.
“OH AND WE MUSTN'T FORGET DISCORD!” Bill said, clapping as a creature who was nothing so much as a mish-mash of random animal parts appeared. The spirit of chaos, Discord, cackled. This was going to be so entertaining.
Celestia, Luna, and the Pinkie shell had had enough. “COME, MY TOWNSFOLK! FOLLOW YOUR MAYOR INTO BATTLE!”
Xanthar, who looked like a giant purple loaf of bread, charged into her, knocking her hat off. It then blasted her with some kind of energy from the place it’s face should have been, causing her to explode. Where her body had once been, only a spark of magic remained, and that spark of magic got the heck out of dodge.
“BYE BYE!” Bill said before laughing. “NOW WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO?”
Luna tried firing another one of her giant spells, only to have Keyhole absorb it through the hole in his skull. He shot it back, knocking Luna to the side. She landed, an audible crack echoing throughout the area.
Celestia’s pupils shunk. She turned, her rage boiling into fire. Her body was a raging inferno, burning everything around her. “Nobody. Gets. To. Touch. My. Sister!” She punched forward, fires consuming Keyhole completely. She turned to face the others, the strength of the sun on her side. She sent a raging inferno at the other Henchmaniacs, catching many of them with bright solar flames. She roared in rage, grabbing the Amorphous Shape and melting it into pixelated oblivion. Then she turned to Pyronica.
“CALL ME SUNBUTT DO YOU? DO YOU?”
Pyronica held her hands up as the solar flames hit her, the heat blowing her hair. She smirked, breathing in. Now this was some really intense fire. She snapped her fingers, absorbing the inferno into her body. She charged, punching Celestia right in the jaw, knocking her unconscious and several feet away.
The battle was over.
Discord gave them some petty claps. “That… wasn’t that impressive to be honest. You Henchmaniacs need to get a bit better at this.”
“YOU’RE A HENCHMANIAC.”
“Ah, but oh great triangular overlord, I am the over-Henchmaniac.” The draconequus grinned. Bill simply shrugged. “JUST REMEMBER YOUR PLACE, DISCORD. NOW, A-ONE, A-TWO, A-ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR-”
OH IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING
THE WORLD IS FINALLY MINE!
I’LL DO A BIT OF DECORATING,
THE FEELING’S SO DIVINE!
A FEARAMID, SOME WEIRDNESS BUBBLES,
THAT TORTURE ALL MANKIND
TILL ALL AT ONCE, THE FEELING’S LOST,
OF CONTROL OVER THEIR MINDS
NOW GO AHEAD AND STOP ME
I’D LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY!
UGH, THIS IS GETTING BORING-
I’D RATHER SEE YOU DIE-
HAH!
OH, THIS IS THE DAY WHERE IT ALL COMES TO AN END
MY POWER IS GROWING
TRUE POTENTIAL IS SHOWING
AND I AM THE KING!
AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!
WELCOME, ONE AND ALL...
TO WEIRDMAGEDDON!
Bill and his Henchmaniacs laughed at the carnage they had just caused in the musical number. It was so amazing, at long last chaos reigned supreme! The bubbles of weirdness floated around, driving all to insanity. Above it all, the Fearamid stood, dominating the skyline with its sheer bulk. The Weirdmageddon was going in full force! Nothing could stop it now…
In the town bell tower, Ford took a large case out of his Pocket. He unlatched the container, revealing one truly tremendous gun.
“This is a dimensional destabilizer. It can seal the crack in spacetime easily. But there’s a catch…”
Lyra sighed. “Bill can reopen the crack can’t he?”
“Yes. At any time he wished. Which is why we have to hit him dead on and toss him back through it as it closes.” Ford squinted. “He probably knows all about this destabilizer though… we have to wait for him to be distracted.”
Starlight frowned. “How could one distract the Eye of Providence? He sees all.”
“Just because he can see everywhere doesn’t mean he can see everywhere at once. He still likes to focus on single areas.”
Lyra frowned. “She does have a point… what could distract him?”
A sniper rifle gunshot rang out. Bill felt something small pass right through his body, driving a hole right through his eye. He roared in pain. “WHO DID THAT?”
Agent Sweetie Drops took aim and fired again, though this time Bill was ready. Even though his eye was damaged, he could still sense the path of the bullet through the air. He twirled around, the small metallic bit hitting his hat, impacting with a noise not unlike a bullet hitting day-old flesh. The hat quickly regenerated from the wound.
Sweetie Drops stood up, calling into her walkie-talkie. “Take him out.”
Dozens of helicopters suddenly appeared over the horizon, their black forms being made more ominous by the red sky. Impassively, the helicopters launched several dozen missiles at Bill. Bill snapped his fingers, causing the missiles to simply explode before they reached their target.
Bill groaned. “HECTORGON… WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE RIGHT THERE?”
The remnants of Hectorgon made no response.
The helicopters began to open fire with more conventional weapons, but Discord simply held his hand up, reflecting all the bullets back. He did a moonwalk, smirking. “How was that, judges?”
As several helicopters exploded, a judging table staffed entirely with Discords held up cards displaying 42. They all clapped in amazement.
Bill laughed. “NICE ONE! I’M ALWAYS A FAN OF USING THEIR OWN WEAPONS AGAINST THEM! AHAHAHA-” Another sniper rifle bullet got his eye. Bill’s coloration became red, and his size increased tenfold. “THAT’S IT. EYEBATS, START CONVERTING THE POPULATION. THESE AGENTS ARE GOING DOWN!”
Before Bill did anything, Discord snapped his fingers turning all the helicopters into waffles. The eyebats made quick work of the various agents, turning them to stone. They quickly grabbed the forms of Celestia and Luna, and many began to charge towards Sweetie Drops.
Sweetie Drops stood up, her face impassive. “Bring it.” She whipped out two machine guns, filling the eyebats with dozens of bullets per second. Hundreds fell to her onslaught, but there were simply too many. They kept pouring out of the tear in ever-increasing numbers, continually getting closer to her. Sweat began to literally pour of Sweetie Drops.
She knew she was doomed, but she was going to take out as many of them as she possibly could.
She survived a full two minutes before she was petrified. Bill laughed. “AHAHAHHA! VALLIANT EFFORT AGENT, BUT NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH!”
Ford’s finger was on the trigger. “I’ve almost got a shot… steady… steady…”
Then the bell came to life. “EHEHEHEH I’M ALIVE NOW!” DING! The resounding noise caused Ford to jump, his itchy trigger finger firing the gun. Visions of brutally murdering that bell crossed his mind, but were dispelled when he realized the targeting system had compensated.
The panic returned when he noticed the beam of dimensional energy had been directed back at them. “DUCK!” He yelled as the entire bell tower exploded.
Bill floated up to them, slowly clapping his hands. “THAT WAS A NICE TRY FORD, BUT I’VE SET UP AN ANCHOR SPELL. THAT GUN OF YOURS ISN’T GOING TO DO JACK SQUAT.” He laughed.
Ford backed away, tossing Journal 1 to Lyra. “Run.” Was all he said.
Lyra grabbed Starlight and they high tailed it out of the bell tower as Bill grabbed Ford by the sweater. “ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS?”
“Well I have a fe-” His eyes lit up. “LYRA! YOU HAVE TO GATH-”
Bill blasted Ford with a beam of energy, turning him into a golden statue. “AHAHAHAHAHA AND NOW THEY’LL NEVER KNOW. I BET YOU WISH YOU’D TOLD THEM EARLIER!”
Something in Lyra broke. She got a crazed look in her eye. Starlight took a step back from the twitchy girl. “BILL! You are going to give Grandpa Ford back RIGHT THIS INSTANT! OR YOU WON’T LIKE WHAT COMES NEXT!”
Bill paused for a moment. “WELL ISN’T. THIS. INTERESTING.” He appeared before them, large as a building, his eye a gigantic spotlight showcasing their inferiority. He laughed. “COME ON HANDS, DO SOME BRILLIANT THING THAT STOPS ME RIGHT NOW!”
Lyra smirked, her eyes burning with a desire for destruction. “Of course.” She leapt forth, encasing her hand in magical energy and punching Bill right in the eye. “Fidentus omnium. Magister mentium. Magnesium ad hominem. Magnum opus. Habeas corpus. Inceptus Nolanus overratus. Magister mentium. Magister mentium. MAGISTER MENTIUM.”
Seapony Lyra transmitted herself into the mindscape of Bill Cipher, ready to cause havoc.
“THAT WAS THE MOST STUPID THING YOU’VE EVER DONE.”
Seapony, the personality that took joy in pointless destruction, the personality that was known for probably being the most insane, took one look around and screamed. Her psyche shattered, becoming nothing more than shards in the dreamscape.
Back in reality, Lyra was launched back from Bill, a look of horror plastered on her face. Starlight caught her.
Inside Lyra’s mindscape, there was panic.
“Where’d Seapony go???” Human demanded.
“I… I don’t know.” Pony responded. “She… she has to be here somewhere right?”
Thief grunted. “Subconscious, maybe. She’s been shattered. Three to four more hits like that and we can basically consider ourselves brain-dead.”
“HEY!” Sweetroll objected to the implication.
“Have we regained control yet?” Pony asked, ignoring Sweetroll.
Human stood up, taking control of the body. “Vision is fuzzy… we can’t see much… wait- something’s being taken out of our pack.”
Lyra regained control, standing up. The first thing she noticed was Journal 1 and her personal Journal floating in the air above Bill Cipher’s hand. Bill laughed. “NOW TO GATHER THE OTHERS FROM YOUR FRIENDS…” He snapped his fingers, teleporting Journals 2 and 3 to him. Then he laughed as he burned the books. “I’VE WANTED TO DO THAT FOR A LONG TIME!”
Starlight and Lyra leaned on each other, fixing Bill with death glares. The journals had just been destroyed, and the j-pad was in Ford’s Pocket… They had no guides anymore. Lyra tried hard to remember as much as she could, but her mind was still in a jumble since 20% had just been lost.
“AND NOW NONE OF YOU ARE THREATENING. TEETH, HAVE THE TWO OF THEM FOR A SNACK. THE REST OF US ARE GOING TO PARTY IN THE FEARAMID! LET’S ROLLOUT!”
Bill snapped his fingers, changing one of the wrecked cars into a gigantic hot rod. Bill and most of his Henchmaniacs crawled into the car as it flew off towards the gigantic pyramid in the sky. As it went away, it blasted the countryside with weirdness energy, creating new monstrosities every second.
Teeth turned to look at Lyra and Starlight, though since he didn’t have eyes it was a little hard to tell. Teeth cackled. “Totally gonna eatcha!”
Lyra took a rocket launcher out of her pocket and blew Teeth into orbit. “There. Now that that’s taken care of, let’s go rescue Ford from—”
Lyra was interrupted by a low rumbling.
“Earthquake?” Starlight said, confused. “Figured he’d do something more weird—”
A large, black, thorny tree sprouted out of the ground, magical energy radiating off of it. Large tentacle-like thorny vines invaded the town, their black color contrasting with the red light of the atmosphere. Blue flowers began to pop up everywhere, some of them growing unnatural vines.
“The Everfree Forest…” Starlight whispered.
Lyra blinked. “How would you know about- nevermind. That’s just the name of the forest isn’t it?”
Starlight nodded. “The Everfree Forest contains most of the anomalies in Gravity Falls… The town was just built inside the forest. Though it was never hostile. Except in…” Starlight stopped talking.
“Except in what?”
“Well- LOOK OUT A MANTICORE!”
Lyra whipped around, making quick work of the manticore, the lion-like creature burning to a crisp. Lyra let out a breath. “This… is going to be annoying… We need Seapony’s violence for once and she’s not here...”
Lyra devolved into conversation with herself, and Starlight followed her, remaining quiet.
The two made their way through the Everfree-overrun Gravity Falls. The surroundings were an eerily beautiful mixture of color: the Everfree itself was largely black and blue with a bit of green here and there while the light coming from the sky was red and yellow, making unnatural highlights. It was almost as if the forest was burning.
Lyra normally wouldn’t be worried: she had braved the Everfree more times than she could count. The problem was this obviously wasn’t just the Everfree. It wasn’t just full of more death traps than usual, Bill’s weirdness was also running rampant. The eyebats were flying around everywhere, turning survivors into stone and carrying them up to the Fearamid for some unknown, and probably horrific, purpose. Through this all, the two fought their way through the forest. One was unimaginably old, yet in a girl’s body. The other was a full grown woman, but extremely young by comparison.
They continued on, trying to find something, anything, that could help them…

---

“This is Shandra Jimenez, reporting for Gravity Falls. We are entering day three of what some are calling Weirdmageddon, or the Oddpocalypse. Weather for today calls for a heavy chance of blood rain, eyebats turning more people into stone, and Gideon’s Insanity Department prowling around for more victims. There have been rumors that the denizens of the forest are banding together to take up objections with Bill, we can only hope they will be successful.
And now, here is our very own Vinyl Scratch, with some apocalypse music.”
“HEY! Hey HEY there Weirdmageddon Survivors! Vinyl Scratch here has a song here for you. One which I, of course, added lots of wubs too… Warriors!”
Starlight listened to the tune, smiling. It was good to know that she and Lyra weren't the only ones out here in the Everfree. The Forest had overtaken the town so much that there was hardly any town anymore. There were just trees, monsters, and the occasional glimpse of the red sky above them.
Lyra wished she knew how to combat the Everfree’s natural “getting lost” magical aura. They’d been wandering for days, finding nothing that looked even remotely familiar. There were shambles of buildings, a few randomly strewn vehicles, and the occasional signpost mutated into some sort of horror.
Lyra was immensely glad she had food in her Pocket and they didn’t have to resort to eating rats like Shandra and Vinyl…
Starlight eeped, pointing. For the first time in three days, there was something recognizable.
There was a dragon sitting on top of a mostly held-together building: the Gravity Malls. The dragon in question was sleeping on top of a hoard of eyebat corpses, and the Everfree had apparently decided to give the dragon a wide berth.
The two survivors entered the first clearing they had seen for three days, walking slowly forward. After all, they didn’t want to wake the dragon…
They were halfway to the Malls when something charged out of the forest.
It was… A Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity. it was literally just a gigantic red-haired head with a single hand coming out of it. And it was coming at them, dragging itself along with its giant limb. “Hey there, you two. I’d really like it if you would get in my mouth. I-I think you’ll like it in there. It’s soft, and moist, and-and—”
Lyra and Starlight bolted towards the Malls, running as fast as they could.
“HEY! I’m talkin here! Stop ignoring me! That’s so rude!”
The two ran right into the Malls, the Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity right behind them. “I’m getting really upset here. Really, don’t you care about what I want? What if—”
Suddenly the outside of the Malls lit up with dragon fire, the Horrifying Sweaty One-Armed Monstrosity being reduced to ashes in under a second. The dragon poked its head out, looking through the Malls door. “You’re welcome.” It said, before going back to sleep.
Lyra and Starlight blinked. Lyra just shrugged. The two of them looked into the Malls. The building seemed completely wrecked, all the color and life having gone from the place.
“Pacifica would freak.” Lyra muttered to herself.
Starlight furrowed her brow. “There’s evidence of people here.. Look. Footprints.”
“Footprints?” Lyra said. “Who would-” Then she saw them the nachos basking in the light.
“Pfft.” She said, looking at the conveniently placed food item. “Yeah I’m not falling for that-” At that point Sweetroll took over and bounded towards the Nachos like they were the best thing on earth.
Starlight facepalmed as Lyra was caught in the net trap. Lyra began to have a four way argument about how stupid that was, which was instantly stopped as Wendy stepped out of a nearby potted plant. “Lyra?”
“Wendy?” Lyra said, blinking. Wendy nodded, cutting Lyra down from the trap. “It’s good to see you! Everyone we usually see is either dead, insane, or being carried off by Eyebats!”
Starlight nodded. “It’s a bleak world out there in the Wasteland…”
“It’s not really a Wasteland… more like a Forest…” Lyra observed.
Wendy shrugged. “Well come on, I’ve got a hideout. Right now it’s just me and Toby, but we can accommodate you two. You’re all welcome.”
The three began to go deeper into the Malls. “So Wendy…” Lyra began. “What’s with the dragon?”
“Oh you mean ol’ Blaze? He’s a nice guy. Let’s us stay here and keeps the Forest at bay. Says one of these days he wants to go see how Bill likes dragon fire. Of course, he’s never left the Malls yet. Likes his hoard of eyebat corpses. He’s also got some sort of cockatrice extract that fixes any petrification they manage to get him with.”
Lyra pondered this. That’d certainly be useful.
Wendy looked back at Starlight. She whispered to Lyra. “You sure she’s okay?”
“She’s good.” Lyra responded. “Trust me.”
The three of them arrived in the hideout, which looked just about as trashed as one would expect from Wendy. Which would actually mean it looked worse than the rest of the Malls. Wendy had become a hoarder.
In the corner was Toby Determined, speaking in his nasally voice as usual. “Bodacious T does not approve of more visitors!”
“Toby, nobody is ever going to call you Bodacious T. Get over it.”
“Aw… But I got Shandra to say it in the interview!”
“She was mocking you Toby.”
Toby sighed, walking behind the curtain to mope.
“Speaking of Shandra... “ Wendy said, turning the radio on.
“This just in, Gideon’s Insanity Department has been spotted around the strange crystal tree we’ve found out in the forest. No more using it as a landmark, the Insanity Department will likely get you if you do. It is suggested you avoid the glimmering tree and instead follow the river—”
Lyra blinked. “The Tree of Harmony.” She turned to Starlight. “Maybe… Maybe we can use the Elements of Harmony. We can harvest them from the tree. Use them to defeat Bill.”
Wendy frowned. “Didn’t that fail miserably last time?”
“We have to try something... “ Lyra said, frowning.
Starlight sighed. “Why on earth would we try a plan that already failed, again? What’s the point? It’s just going to end in fire anyway…”
“Because if he was so worried about making sure it didn't hit him, it must do SOMETHING he doesn’t like.” Lyra responded. She bit her lip. “Can I pull off a Celestia and use all six of them… I’m not sure… Can we even become Lyra Heartsong without Seapony? Do we have to become her to use them?”
Wendy smiled. “It’s worth a shot. Perhaps we can help you. Maybe we’ll find more survivors to help as well.”
“BODACIOUS T IS COMING TOO!”
“Yes, Toby, you are coming. But you are not Bodacious T.”
Starlight nodded slowly, but she didn’t like this idea. Not one bit.

---

“AH, THIS IS THE LIFE.” Bill said, observing his Fearamid. It was just… beautiful. A haunting black with unnatural colors seeping through the cracks, geometry that didn’t make three (or two) dimensional sense, and games of spin-the-stone-person. This was the life.
He looked at his throne of human agony: a precarious arrangement of every last person, creature, and enemy the eyebats had turned to stone. It was glorious. He had been imagining this day for so long…
He held the golden Ford in his hands. Bill’s eye lit up in joy. “THIS IS JUST SO AMAZING! I’VE DONE IT! I’VE FINALLY DONE IT! EVERYONE- EXTRA ROUNDS OF TIME PUNCH!”
The partygoers let out a collective whoop while Discord created more time punch with a flash of cosmic energy.
“OPEN UP. THIS IS THE POLICE- THE TIME POLICE!”
Bill groaned. “UGH. GUYS PLAY IT COOL, DITCH THE TIME PUNCH-”
The Fearamid’s outer wall exploded, revealing the gigantic Time Baby and a small army of Time Agents. “BILL CIPHER, YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF THE RULES OF SPACETIME. IF YOUR RIP IN THIS DIMENSION CONTINUES IT COULD TEAR APART THE VERY FABRIC OF EXISTENCE!”
“RE-LAX TIME BABY! I’VE TAKEN PRECAUTIONARY MEASURES. I WON’T CAUSE A CRASH! COME IN, HAVE A DRINK. THE PARTY’S JUST GETTING STARTED!”
“SURRENDER NOW OR FACE MY TANTRUM!”
Bill sighed. Well that had gone nowhere. “OH NO, A TANTRUM, WHATEVER WILL I DO- HOW ABOUT—”
Another wall of the Fearamid broke down, revealing a tremendous centaur surrounded by the manataurs.
“I. AM. TIREK! AND YOU HAVE INSULTED THE MANATAURS!”
Bill blinked. “HUH. INTERESTING.” He snapped his fingers, putting a dress on Tirek. “HRM… YOU LOOK BETTER THAT WAY.”
Tirek ripped the dress off. “CIPHER! YOUR MAGIC WILL BE MINE!”
Bill rolled his eye. “PUH-LEASE. YOU COULDN’T SUCK MY MAGIC FROM ME IF YOU HAD FOUR ALICORNS, A DRACONEQUUS, AND THE NATURAL MAGIC FROM EVERY PERSON ON THIS PLANET.”
“You dare insult Leaderaur?” One of the manataurs said. “We will stick you into the PAIN HOLE!”
“I INVENTED THE PAIN HOLE MANLY MUSCLE-TAUR.” Bill snapped his fingers, maximizing the muscular being’s pain sensors without overloading them. The manataur let out tears and collapsed onto the floor, a shuddering, quivering mess.
Tirek bellowed. “CIPHER-”
Then a third wall of the Fearamid broke open. Agent Trigger walked through the opening, backup behind him. “Bill Cipher, you have been labelled a terrorist by the United States of America. Release your hold on this town and come quietly or we will be forced to use extreme force.”
Bill Cipher laughed. “OH LOOK, THE PUNY MORTALS THINK THEY CAN USE EXTREME FORCE? ON ME? OH HOW LAUGHABLE.” He teleported right in front of Trigger. “YOU BETTER HAVE SOMETHING REALLY EXTREME UP YOUR SLEEVE.”
“Sleeve.” Trigger emphasized.
Bill stared at the strange, strange man before him a few seconds before continuing. “YOU ALREADY TRIED TO TAKE ME OUT, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THIS’LL BE ANY DIFFERENT?”
“Because now they stand together.” A new voice said. A man stepped out of the shadows. “And because I brought them all here.”
“AH DOCTOR…” Bill Cipher said, squinting his eye. “I’D ALMOST FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU…”
The Doctor grinned. “Did you miss me?”
“NO, NOT REALLY. YOU - OR RATHER YOUR TARDIS - SERVED ITS PURPOSE ALREADY.”
The Doctor twitched. “You should learn never to mess with a Time Lord’s Tardis…” He whipped out his sonic screwdriver. “And now we’ll put a stop to you before your weirdness spreads!”
Bill snapped his fingers, turning the screwdriver into a cabinet. The Doctor stared at it, a bit dumbfounded.
“OH LOOK, YOU ASSEMBLED FURNITURE AT ME. HOW TERRIFYING.”
The Doctor stood up. “That’s not important. What is important however, is that you return to the place you came from, leave this reality alone—.”
“AW LOOK, THE DOCTOR, LAST OF THE TIME LORDS, STILL FIGHTING FOR THE UNDERDOGS AFTER ALL THESE MILLENNIA. I APPLAUD YOU, REALLY I DO, BUT YOU NEED TO THINK A BIT. WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY DO? MY POWER EXCEEDS ALL OF THOSE IN THIS ROOM COMBINED!”
Instead of the Doctor, the Time Baby responded. “EVEN YOUR POWER IS NOT THAT ABSURD! NOW FACE MY TANTRUM!”
“TIME BABY, LISTEN TO ME. I WILL NEVER FACE YOUR TANTRUM.” Bill pointed his finger, a beam of intense white energy launching forth from it, vaporizing the Time Baby.
All the Henchmaniacs stared dumbfounded. Tirek, the manataurs, Trigger, his agents, the Doctor, and the remaining time agents mirrored their expressions. Bill simply blew out his finger like it was a gun. He sat back, lounging in his throne.
Then he thought about it for a moment. Holy moley that was easier than I expected.
Kryptos finally broke the silence. “Oh snap! He just killed Time Baby!” Then the Henchmaniacs let out a collective “Woo-hoo!” And started partying.
“NOT SO FAST CIPHER” Tirek roared. “YOU STILL HAVE US TO DEAL WITH!” Tirek collected a sphere of magical energy between his horns and released a beam of magic right at Bill. Bill simply snapped his fingers, causing the beam of energy to turn into solid iron. The weight of the beam snapped Tirek’s horns in half. Then Bill punched the centaur a full kilometer away.
The manataurs began to charge, only to have the eyebats petrify them with little to no difficulty. The time agents began to teleport around, but Discord took care of them by turning all their machines into swiss cheese. The eyebats moved in, slowly petrifying the agents. There were just too many of the eyebats…
Trigger pulled out his radio. “USE THE ORBITAL WEAPONS!” He was turned to stone seconds after he gave the order. The Doctor looked at the chaos around him, anger filling his heart.
“YOU!” He yelled, pointing at Bill. “You have made a grave mistake.”
“WHAT? I’M JUST HAVING SOME FUN, DOC, RELAX.”
The Doctor glared. “They have more tricks than you know.”
Bill chuckled. “I’M AWARE OF THE SPACE-AGE WEAPONS THEY HAVE IN ORBIT. DID YOU KNOW THEY ALREADY HIT?”
The Doctor’s eyes widened. “What?”
“I RAISED A SHIELD AROUND THE FEARAMID. THE DRONES, LASERS, AND MISSILES ALL IMPACTED WITHOUT CAUSING ANY DAMAGE.”
“What?”
“YOU HEARD ME!”
“WHAT?” The Doctor managed to get out as Bill turned him into gold. Bill chuckled.
“YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE AN EXCELLENT SECOND BACKSCRATCHER, DOCTOR. NOT EVEN YOUR PLAN COULD DO ANYTHING TO ME-”
Bill felt a slight tickling in his substance. Somewhere a Tardis had just tried to attack his dimensional framework. He chuckled. “HEH. I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOUR BACKUP BACKUP WOULD HIT. NICE TRY, SCREWDRIVER. OR SHOULD I CALL YOU-” Bill stopped himself. “NEVERMIND. BAD IDEA. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT’D DO. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW.”
He set the Doctor next to Ford, and he admired his trophies. There was nothing left to stop him now: the only Loopers were that crazy Lyra and stupid Stan. They weren’t going to do anything.
It was time to continue the party.
“MORE TIME PUNCH DISCORD!”
“With pleasure!”

---

“BAD EYEBAT BAD!” Wendy roared, bludgeoning the eyebat with her axe, eye fluids spurting everywhere.
Starlight slowly and deliberately removed the eye goo from her own eyes, fixing Wendy with a rather annoyed glare. Lyra just shook herself like a dog to remove the disgusting material.
Wendy pointed ahead. “This way, we’ve only got a few miles left until we get to that Tree of Harmony of yours. That is, assuming the forest hasn’t completely turned us around yet…”
“Don’t think about that too much.” Lyra suggested. “We’ll get there eventually, hopefully without any major interruptions.” As the word left her mouth, she ran face-first into someone.
Blind Ivan raised the section of skin where his eyebrows should have been. “Lyra Heartstrings. Wasn’t expecting to run into you. Wendy too! And…” His eyes widened as he saw Starlight, and he lowered his head. “Receiver. I apolog—”
“Nothing to apologize for, Ivan. The Society needed to end anyway” She looked behind Ivan. “Who are your companions?”
Lyra spoke up. “That’d be Chrysalis and a few of her drones, Powers, and the Shapeshifter who has decided to take the shape of the Hide-behind.”
The shapeshifter returned to his default form, his alien biology looking completely at home in the unusual forest. “I was trying to lure the Hide-behind into the open. You just ruined it.”
Wendy raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t your travelling companions have ruined it simply by being with you?”
“The girl’s logic is sound.” Powers observed.
“Shut up Agent, you don’t have a personality. Ergo, you don’t get to have an opinion.”
Chrysalis groaned. “Can we just get moving already? I don’t want anything more to do with these losers.”
Lyra glared. “Losers? You call us losers? You’re all dumb, emotionless, arrogant, or just plain weird.”
“Hey!” Ivan objected, holding his banjo high. “Banjos are an art!”
Wendy rolled her eyes. “Banjos are most certainly not an art. Have you SEEN McGucket?”
Ivan glared. “Yes, yes I have. And he is an assault to the art-”
“He’s better at it than you are.” The shapeshifter commented.
Ivan’s real eye twitched. Powers chose to remain silent. Discussions about art never went well for him.
Wendy sighed. “Can we just keep moving? We don’t need to deal with these losers right now. We’ve got a Tree of Harmony to get to.”
“Not going to help us defeat the Beast…” Starlight muttered.
The Shapeshifter blinked. “You are trying to defeat Bill? With a tree?”
Ivan rubbed his chin. “It is possible, the Tree does have powerful magic. The Society never did figure out what exactly it was…”
Starlight shook her head. “The other six tried using that kind of magic against him already. He turned it against them and locked them up in some big Bubble.”
“You mean the Bubble that’s sitting on top the Tree we just passed?” Chrysalis asked.
Starlight, Wendy, and Lyra were silent. Then Lyra lit up. “We can free them from the Bubble! I don’t have to use the Elements! Woo-hoo!”
Wendy grinned. “Let’s mount a rescue mission!”
“Don’t be stupid.” Powers responded. “We were chased away from the Tree by a rag-tag group of mental patients. There’s nothing the three of you could do-”
“You could help them.”
The seven beings all turned to the strange new voice. It was a completely normal looking man with a smile plastered on his face.
Wendy blinked. “Oh. It’s just Tad Strange.”
Then Toby fell out of the nearby tree. “HEY LOOK! I FOUND THEM AGAIN!”
Lyra blinked. “Did anyone notice that Toby was gone?” She was greeted with nothing but head shakes and shrugs. “Huh-”
“My name is Bodacious T!”
This revelation caused the shapeshifter and Chrysalis to break out into hysterics, Ivan to sigh deeply, and Powers to… do nothing. Tad simply continued smiling.
“Hey everyone, perhaps we could go rescue them with our diverse talents and love of bread!”
“That sounds like a wonderful idea!” Lyra said, grinning like a madman. “TOBY! Guess what?”
“What?”
“You’re the distraction.”
“Oh…”

---

The Tree of Harmony was normally a grandiose crystalline tree, peaceful colors of blue refracting out of the multi-faceted trunk of the crystalline plant. Under normal circumstances, the various branches would hold gem-like fruits, known as the Elements of Harmony, powerful artifacts that could bring peace and friendship to just about everything. The Tree of Harmony was truly a sight to behold, inspiring everyone who saw its branches.
That is, that’s what would happen if the Tree was normal. It most certainly was not: the crystal had dulled to become an almost solid black, invoking feelings of nothingness. The black void occasionally burst with dark red and yellow lights, the Elements themselves being colorless glass with many cracks all along their forms. The Tree itself, and its power, had long since become corrupted and useless.
Atop the black branches of the once-Harmonious tree floated a gigantic Bubble, swirling with the colors and shapes that represented the Elements. The sphere was wrapped in chains of unknowable material, and sealed with a lock of mysterious origin. The Harmonious energy emanating from the sphere made one calm, but it would also put a nagging feeling into the back of your skull that something was very, very wrong. Like something blasphemous was occurring, but you just didn’t know what.
Around the tree stood several people shuddering with insanity. There were people whose eyes never focused on anything, people who kept attacking the ground with intense ferocity, and others who were busy turning their fingernails into lethal weapons. They were clothed in a bizarre combination of asylum robes, forest materials, and Bill’s weirdness. And in the center of them all was a small child in a blue suit and cowboy hat, laughing continually. Occasionally Gideon, for that was who he was, would point to something, and one of the other people would do whatever he had wanted. No words were exchanged.
The scene was wrong in every way possible. And it was just about to go from creepy to just bizarre.
From somewhere in the forest, a small man came running. “BODACIOUS T DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY TO YOUR ODOR!!!!!”
The mental patients slowly looked up, one pointing a finger and whispering. “The… the forlorn one has come to eat us all!” Half the mental patients broke out into panic while the other half charged in to attack Toby, only to hit a yellow magical barrier. The patients began to scream like frustrated cats.
At that point two other Gideons strode out of the forest and began pointing left and right, driving the patients into further confusion. The first Gideon stared at the two others, rage evident on his face. “Eggs must be stolen for current values of programming books!” He shouted, his mind obviously having left him long ago. The patients made no response to this. Many just passed out or ran into the forest from confusion.
The ones who remained, however, looked terrifying. A woman with nails that could act as swords. A man clothed entirely in eyebat wings. Another man who was taller than Manly Dan.
Starlight, from her position in the forest, cast a few spells, rings of blue magic encircling the terrifying patients, slowing their movements by a factor of ten. She kept her face stone-cold the entire time, calculating all her temporal spells to perfection.
Wendy, Powers, and Ivan moved in, disabling every single one of the patients. They fell easily.
Tad Strange walked out of the forest, smiling. “Great job everybody! That was seamless! Although Lyra probably could have done a little more.”
“I’m a little overpowered compared to the rest of you, figured I should let you guys have a chance.”
Gideon roared. “FORGET ALL THE CTHREELU! WE MUST EAT THE VEGETATION OF FLATULENCE! Y’ALL!”
Lyra looked down at Gideon as he blubbered. “FEED ME! Feed me! Feed me. Feed me…..” Gideon curled into a ball and began to rock back and forth on the ground, whining. “My darling Rarity… Why… Why… What did I do…”
Lyra frowned. “I… I’m sorry.” She said. “I… This shouldn’t have happened. I wish I could fix you…”
Starlight walked up. “I can help you do that.”
“You can?”
“Sure.” Starlight said. “You don’t become the Receiver of Memory for the Society without knowing a thing or two about curing insanity. Just get us into his mindscape.”
Lyra recited the spell, and the two of them entered Gideon’s mind.
All was silent.
Tad Strange broke the silence. “We should probably try and get into that Bubble now. Anyone have any ideas? What about you Wendy?”
“Smash it.”
“That will be taken under advisement. Any other ideas? Anyone?”
The Shapeshifter left his Gideon form. “You know I find it odd how you ended up being the leader…” Chrysalis appeared beside him, nodding.
Powers turned to them. “I fail to see how that is surprising. He is the most held together of us all aside from myself, and the rest of you don’t trust me.”
“But…. he’s so normal.”
“I fail to see how that factors into the equation.” Powers deadpanned.
The Shapeshifter groaned. “I.. I can’t deal with you…”
Lyra and Starlight returned to the realm of the awake, shaking their heads. “There. He should be good now.”
Gideon stood up. “Oog… What… What did you do to me???” He asked Lyra.
Lyra got down on her knee, looking Gideon in the eye. “I broke your mind. I’m sorry, I never should have done that. I fixed you. I hope you can accept that as forgiveness.”
Gideon blinked. “Why on earth would you do that? Why?”
Lyra smiled sadly. “I felt guilty. Even though I may not have been myself at the time… it was still sorta me who did it.”
Gideon frowned. “That doesn't answer why. Y’all still hate me, I know yah do.”
Lyra rolled her eyes. “You clearly have no idea what Equestria’s like.” She nudged him. “Perhaps you could accept some forgiveness for once?”
Gideon’s stared ahead, a little confused.
Lyra walked up to the Tree of Harmony. “So, how are we getting inside-”
Then she heard a roar. The group turned around to see dozens of the patients returning, thirsting for blood.
The shapeshifter smirked. Maybe he would get to do some slaughtering…
“STOP!” Gideon yelled, waving his hands. The patients stopped, turning to look at him. They cocked their heads. There was silence.
Gideon pointed to the forest. “Go.” He said. The vast majority of the patients turned tail and ran (some of them on all fours). The few who remained walked up to him, frowning.
“W-w-why?” A woman asked.
“Y’all don’t need to be protectin’ me no more. I got my mind back. Ah can handle mahself. Plus, these people don’t mean me any harm.”
A burly man frowned. “We swore to protect you for life. LIFE! LIIIIIIIIIIFE!”
“That’s great Ghost Eyes, but really, y’all don’t have to. I can-”
“The protection is NON NEGOTIABLE! What kind of friends would we be to leave you all alone in the forest like this.”
Gideon smiled. “I… thank you Ghost Eyes. You don’t know what that means to me…”
“GOT IT!” The shapeshifter said, turning his limb in the gigantic lock. The chains fell away, letting the Bubble float in the air unhindered.
Lyra frowned. “I was afraid of this. We have to actually go in to save them. Who knows what kind of tricks and traps BIll has set up in there. It’d have to be pretty diabolical to keep all six of them in there…”
“Six of them?” Gideon said, blinking. “That means… RARITY!” He scrambled towards the bubble. “I have to save her!”
Lyra stared at Gideon, her face impassive.
“Come on ya have to let me help! I need to help ya!”
Lyra stared deadpan for a few more moments before breaking out into a grin. “Welcome to the club pal. Don’t be too creepy about it.”
“Oh I won’t I won’t…”
“He has his fingers crossed.” Tad Strange observed.
“BODACIOUS T OBJECTS TO BRINGING THIS CHILD!”
Lyra shrugged. “Let’s give him a chance. He’s probably important.” She thought back to the wheel in Journal 2, which had Gideon’s star on it. He had to be important. So she’d give him a chance.
The rather large party turned to the Bubble before them, their faces set.
“Let’s do this!” Gideon said, charging in first.
Lyra rolled her eyes before running in as well, most of the others following her.
Starlight lingered for a few seconds, deep in thought. But even she eventually entered the Bubble.

---

Lyra Awoke. She blinked, memories flooding in. She was a unicorn in the land of Equestria who was obsessed with humans…
“WHAT?” Pony, Human, and Thief said all at once.
“Did the Loop end?” Thief asked, flailing. “That… that doesn’t make any sense! Why would it end THEN?”
“We may have just died...” Human observed. “Or the Loop ended because we took too long.”
“I’d absolutely HATE that.” Pony responded. “We.. we should go ask the others what they remember. Perhaps head to Big Mac’s…”
Pony took control of the body, looking around. They were right outside Sweet Apple Acres, and Applejack was walking by. Lyra let out a Ping, and Applejack turned to her. “Oh hey there Lyra, haven’t seen you in a looooooong time.”
Lyra blinked. “How long has it been since the Gravity Falls loop?”
“Th’ what?” Applejack asked, trying to remember what she was talking about.
“You know, big insane triangle chaos god trying to end the world?”
Applejack squinted. “That… I sorta remember that. It was several hundred thousand Loops ago.”
Lyra’s jaw dropped. “It’s been THAT LONG?”
“Like Ah said, haven’t seen you in forever.”
Lyra scratched her muzzle. “Perhaps entering the Bubble had some kind of weird effect on me… But I’ve never heard of a Looper going THAT long without Looping in… Something’s off…”
“Ah’ll ask Sleipnir about it next time Ah see him, if ya want.”
Lyra nodded vigorously. “Anything going on this Loop?”
“Nope.” Applejack said, smirking. “Only weird thing that’s happened was some weird fella callin’ himself Bodacious T going completely crazy this afternoon.”
Lyra’s eyes widened. “Did you just say Bodacious T?”
“Yeah? Mean somethin’ to ya?”
Lyra grabbed Applejack’s face. “He came into the Bubble with me. And I know for a fact that he wasn’t a Looper. Why would he be here?”
“Uh… replacement?”
“No… too much of a coincidence…”
“Stranger things have happened in the Loops.” Applejack responded.
Lyra nodded. “Exactly... I’m going to have to investigate…”
Just then a red stallion walked up to them, looking like he wasn’t fully comfortable with having four legs. His cutie mark was a single eyeball with an X through it.
Lyra looked right at him. “Ivan?”
“Ah yes good you remember me…” Ivan said, trying to stand straight. “Can you explain to me why the Bubble took us here and gave us new memories?”
Lyra stood still for a moment while her personalities raged over what was going on.
“This entire place must be a trap.” She slowly said, looking around.
“Don’t be ridiculous-”
“Applejack, think about it. What would be the best way to make you stop interfering with someone’s plans?”
“Well since we’re Looper’s there’s not much that can stop us so… I’d try to fool-”
“Exactly.” Lyra said, gesturing around. “This entire place? It’s just Bill trying to make you think the Loop ended.”
“Who?”
“Bill. Remember? Eye of Providence, eldritch abomination, has a really creepy laugh.”
Ivan nodded. “The creepiest.”
“We came into the Bubble to save you!” Lyra said, smiling.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Don’t be crazy. This place is just too perfect to be false. Everything runs smoothly and there aren’t any unusual glitches that would signify a farce of some kind-”
“EXACTLY.” Lyra said. “Since when have the Loops run smoothly?”
Applejack slowly lifted her head, staring into space. “Wait one darn tootin’ moment… Yer right!”
Lyra began celebrate just as reality crashed.

---

“So… I’m a pony.” Wendy noted.
Chrysalis nodded, flexing her swiss-cheese legs.
“And I’m apparently a lumberjack.”
Chrysalis nodded again, changing her form to match Wendy’s. Red mane, red coat, and cutie mark obscured by a scar.
“Question.”
Chrysalis looked at Wendy with curious eyes.
“HOW THE FLIPPIN’ HECK AM I HOLDING THIS AXE?”
Chrysalis shrugged. “The hooves appear to have some kind of latent magic to them.”
Wendy groaned. “I guess I have to just accept this… So this is where the sextuplets are originally from?”
“Guess so. You know more than I do.”
“So have we become Loopers or something? That’d be cool!”
“I though—-”
Suddenly, the wall of the Changeling hive collapsed. “ALL RIGHT!” Rainbow Dash said, her friends right behind her. “TIME TO DO SOME BUTT KICKING AND RESCUE THAT MARE!”
She blinked, looking at the two Wendy’s in front of her.
“Crap.” Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Been a loooong time since you changelings have tried to pull the which one is real gambit…”
Chrysalis and Wendy were silent. Chrysalis put a hoof to her chin. “I guess my memories do say I kidnapped you…”
Wendy nodded. “And I’m supposed to be some damsel in distress… SCREW THAT!” She bucked Chrysalis in the face, sending the queen flying into a nearby wall.
“What the fudge are you doing? We were on a TEAM!”
“I just felt like bucking you. I’m bucking awesome. Buck you. Man I’ve always wanted to say these things.” Wendy got a crazy grin on her face.
Chrysalis sighed, returning to her normal form and looking over at the mane six. “So, Rainbow, care to explain why we’re here no-”
Twilight zapped Chrysalis, glaring. Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped. “What the heck did you do that for?”
“She was trying to get into your head. That wasn’t Looping Chrysalis. She must have gotten some information about the Loops to try and confuse you.”
Wendy blinked. “That doesn’t make any sense Twi, she came here with me when we entered the Bubble.”
Rainbow Dash cocked her head, confused. “What?”
“You know, Bill’s Bubb-”
Applejack kicked Wendy across the room. “That’s enough outta you!”
“APPLEJACK!” Rainbow Dash yelled, waving her hooves. “What are you doing?”
“Shuttin’ them up before they can get to you.”
“I’m well over a billion years old. I can survive.” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.
Fluttershy shook her head. “Come on Rainbow, everyone knows you can still be broken somewhat easily-”
Rainbow Dash slowly turned to stare at Fluttershy. “What did you just say?”
Fluttershy looked like she had just made a mistake. “Uh, I mean, uh…”
“Bill’s Bubble…” Rainbow Dash mused, thinking. “When was the last time I heard that name… hundreds of thousands of years ago-”
Wendy came to. “We just came from there! We were trying to get you out of Bill’s trap-”
Rarity froze Wendy.
Rainbow Dash looked at her five “friends.”
“You aren’t really my friends, are you? This is just some dream state or whatever.”
Fluttershy frowned. “Oh no.. We messed up… This isn’t good…”
Reality crashed.

---

“This is obviously an illusion of some sort. The perfect trap.” Powers deadpanned.
The Shapeshifter (currently in an alicorn form) sighed. “What tipped you off, genius?”
“The fact that we are living sentient ponies. That’s just absurd.”
The Shapeshifter’s facehoof was long, drawn out, and still not dramatic enough to express the sheer amount of exasperation the alien being was feeling.
“Naturally we have to find the six of them and make them realize the world is false. Simply pointing out that there are ponies accomplish our goal.”
The Shapeshifter cursed the stars for this extremely dense moron he was forced to work with.
“How about instead we just suggest that Bill is fooling them? Think that’d work?”
“Not guaranteed. Ponies are more outlandish.”
The Shapeshifter grunted. “You were observing these six for a month or so right?”
“That is correct.”
“And you then spent several weeks in the Bunker with us as we talked with them on a regular basis.”
“Of course.”
The Shapeshifter slapped him. “THEN YOU WOULD KNOW THAT THEY ORIGINALLY CAME FROM A UNIVERSE WHERE THE DOMINANT FORM OF LIFE WAS EQUINE! PONIES!”
“Beings of their power could not have started their lives as ponies, the amount of-”
The Shapeshifter slapped him again “You. Really. ARE. Dense.”
“Now in order to ensure the safety of the world, we must save the girls from this trap.”
“Darling, whatever are you talking about?”
The two of them turned to see Rarity, in the form of a graceful unicorn, looking at them with a confident expression.
“Ma’am, this place is an illusion crafted by the most diabolical of entities. Please gather your friends and leave this place.”
“Darling, why in Equestria would I want to leave?” She sat back on nothing, a glass of lemonade appearing in her hoof. “It’s simply wonderful. No crashes, no craziness, and nothing trying to kill me and my friends. It’s so.. relaxing. I get to spend all my time with Spikey-Wikey…”
The Shapeshifter blinked. “You struck me as the more daring type… You wouldn’t be happy with this…”
“Doesn’t matter.” Powers said. “We have to get her out of here anyway. You are coming with us.”
“Darling, where would you go? Even assuming this place were an illusion as you say, how do you propose we could find a way to escape?” Rarity questioned.
“There was a way in: there’s a way out.”
The Shapeshifter facehooved again. “That’s not always the case.”
“Doesn’t matter. We must leave.”
Rarity shrugged. “You’re welcome to try, but there’s nothing you can do to convince us to leave. There’s no reason to.” She teleported away.
Powers frowned. “We have to convince one of them, they can talk to the others…”
The Shapeshifter narrowed his eyes. “Perhaps Fluttershy… she seems the most approachable.”
They asked around town for directions to Fluttershy’s place, and were on their way when Pinkie appeared in front of them. “Hiya! What are you guys doing?”
“Trying to get to miss Fluttershy’s place.”
Pinkie snorted. “You don’t want to do that…”
“Why not?” The Shapeshifter asked. “She’s not terrified of visitors or anything.”
“Oh it’s not that, it’s just that she doesn’t like to talk about… the outside... “ Pinkie snorted. “You wouldn’t want to bring it up. It’d tear her down. It took us forever to convince her to stay…”
Powers stared right into Pinkie’s eyes. “All the more reason we should talk to her.”
Pinkie suddenly became completely black, her eyes being replaced with glowing yellow orbs. “YOU WILL BACK OFF AND NOT SPEAK TO HER. UNDERSTAND, UNIMPORTANT SIDE CHARACTERS?”
Powers stood firm. “No. I must protect the United States from beings such as yourself. We will get to Fluttershy and tell her what she needs to know.”
“THEN BUR-”
Suddenly, a bucket fell on the not-Pinkie. Fluttershy glided down, visibly scared. “Wh-wh-what was that?”
“Bill.” The Shapeshifter responded. “He’s trying to prevent us from telling you to leave.”
“Leave what? Bill?” Fluttershy said, very confused.
The terrain around them began to darken, eyes appearing everywhere.
“Just let us explain…” Powers began.
The Shapeshifter slapped Powers out of the way and transformed into a television that broadcasted pictures of Bill, the Bubble on the Tree of Harmony, and them entering the Bubble.
Just as the darkness began to move in, Fluttershy realised what was going on.
Reality crashed.

---

“Ow! What in tarnation?”
“Gideon… you’re a pony. A rather small one at that.”
Gideon blinked, looking at his periwinkle hooves. “ACK! I’m… I’m even more adorable than I was.” He paused for a few seconds. “This is amazing.” He turned to the person talking to him, Ghost Eyes.
“You want to be cute?”
“People like cute. Ergo, I should be cute.”
“I never should have taught you that word.”
Gideon put on his best “widdle ol’ me” face, giggling. “But it’s so fun to say… NOW! We must… uh… Ghost Eyes what were we doing again?”
“Saving the love of your life from a prison constructed by a chaos god?”
“Oh yeah…” Gideon said. “That…” He stood up, yelling with all his might. “DARLING RARITY! WE ARE HERE TO SAVE YOU!”
“WHAT HE SAID!” Ghost Eyes emphasised.
There was no response.
“It occurs to me that perhaps she isn’t right here and we have to go look for her-”
“Ghost Eyes, please refrain from pointin’ out when I’m being dumb, k?”
“But I wasn’t-”
“I SAID REFRAIN!”
Ghost Eyes sighed. “Okay… Perhaps we should look-”
“DON’T ORDER ME AROUND!” Gideon reached to adjust his shirt, then he realized he didn’t have any. His eye twitched. “Perhaps we should go look for her now. That sound good Ghost Eyes?”
“Yes… You should probably tone down the bossiness though, she won’t like that.”
“I AM NOT BEIN-” Then Gideon caught himself, frowning. “Nevermind… Let’s just go this way.” As the two friends began to walk away, a flash of white light blinded them. Standing before them was Rarity. Gideon’s eyes sparkled. She was even more beautiful as a unicorn.
At her side was a medium sized drake. “Hey there!” He said, smiling.
“Who’re you?” Ghost Eyes asked.
“Spike. Rarity’s husband.”
Gideon’s eyes focused on Spike. So this was the little twerp who was-
Rarity interrupted his thoughts by speaking. “So… who are you? I’m having a hard time remembering—”
Gideon’s jaw dropped. “Darling, you don’t remember me? Don’t remember…” He sighed. “Don’t remember how Ah tried to force you to be with me?”
Spike tensed and Rarity glared. “Oh really? How so?”
“Ah… Ah… Ah…” Gideon fell to the ground cowering under Rarity’s gaze. “I did such horrible things to you and your friends! How could you not remember?”
Rarity frowned. “Remember what?”
Gideon trembled, but began his story. He told it from his perspective, from the moment he saw Rarity first, to the moment he tried to kidnap her, to the moment he tried to take over the shack, to the moment he travelled with the Doctor, to the moment he lost his mind because of Lyra.
His insanity.
And the moment Lyra gave him his mind back. Then him going into the Bubble of Harmony.
Rarity had gotten rather uncomfortable with the story at times, but she soon began to feel a lot of sympathy for this little folksy child before her. She decided, plain and simple, that he needed a hug.
Gideon was startled. “Wha…?”
“You can’t have what you want.” Rarity said, matter of factly. “But think about it… deep down, do you think you’d even be happy that way? Look at what all this has caused you. Do you really think you can continue on this path?”
Gideon, who was crying like the little kid he was at this point, nodded.
Ghost Eyes began to tear up as the two made up. “IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!”
Spike folded his arms. “You’re really just letting him go?”
“Spikey-wikey, he lost his mind for a month. I’d say he’s suffered enough. See you around, Gideon.”
Rarity walked away. Gideon smiled. He felt… oddly at peace. He no longer needed her: she was obviously happy. She also had a point: did he really want her, or was it just some desire for possession? For control?
Ghost Eyes put a leg over Gideon. “There there… there’ll be others after we stop Bill.”
“Yeah…” Gideon’s eyes widened. “WAIT RARITY! AH FORGOT TO TELL YA SOMETHIN!”
“What?” She yelled back.
“Ya ever consider that we might still be in Bill’s bubble?”
“Don’t be absurd Gideon!” She responded, chuckling. “I’ve been looping hundreds of thousands of times-”
“But we haven’t.” Gideon said. “We just arrived here when we entered.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. That’d mean I wasn’t real. If that Loop never ended, I’m just some figment of Rarity’s imagination.”
“Yeah.” Rarity chuckled. "And if that were true Spike wouldn’t have remembered our upcoming anniversary. He promised me a special surprise after our last one was so rudely interrupted.”
Spike’s face went completely blank. Rarity slowly turned to look at the drake beside her. “...Spike?”
“CRAP.” A decidedly not-Spike voice said.
The world crashed as a look of abject horror crossed Rarity’s face.

---

“In our Town-” Starlight Awoke, tripping over her own two front hooves, faceplanting into the ground. The musical number abruptly ended, the townsfolk suddenly unsure of what to do. Starlight stood up, shaking her head as “loop memories” filled her mind. She slowly stood up.
She wasn’t stupid, she knew exactly what this was: an illusion designed to keep Loopers trapped.
“Starlight?” A familiar voice asked. “You okay?”
Starlight groaned. “I think… I just got new memories. Awoke? Brain hurts.”
Twilight’s eyes widened, a mildly conflicted expression on her face before she gave a smile. “Well I can’t say I expected that. Um, welcome to the Loops Starlight. It looks like you’ve got a lot on your mind, if you’d like I’ve got a spot at the castle where you can relax.”
“...What about the Town?”
“We’ve dealt with this enough times, we can deal with it in our sleep now.” Twilight said. “Let’s just get you settled and calm... “
Starlight nodded. She wasn’t in the mood to do much right now. Perhaps she could just take a nice relax and take a break from all the craziness she had been subject too.
Just a little bit of relaxing…
That evening, Starlight was reclining in a nice, soft chair. Twilight was sitting across from her. “So, Starlight, you’re taking this incredibly well. I’m guessing since you mentioned having Awakened that this isn’t your first Loop but I’m a little confused, how long have you been Looping?”
Starlight was about to say “Oh I’m not, this place is just an illusion” but she caught herself. This place was obviously much nicer than the place she had come from, where the apocalypse was going down. It was much better than the place the One Eyed one showed her in her dream, where the entire world was a Wasteland. Where heroes rose and died trying to save everyone. Where everyone just died… A world where nothing survived…
She began to cry. Twilight’s face softened, and she brought Starlight into an embrace. “There there.. It’s okay…”
“My memories.. are fuzzy…” Starlight said. “All I can really remember is a horrible Wasteland… and a horrible One-Eyed demon… Nothing but torture…”
Twilight frowned. “Do you even remember being a unicorn before?”
“Barely… I think it was erased from me by a mind gun... “ Starlight sniffed. “I.. I just want to have some peace.”
Twilight hugged her tight. She had gone through so much. Obviously one of those Fallout loops and some other horrid apocalypse loop. The phrase “One-Eyed demon” did tug at her memories, but she couldn’t place the feeling.
She decided it didn’t matter. Baseline Starlight was a problem, minor these days but even so; this Starlight however was clearly in pain, and she needed to be comforted. That was all that mattered.
Days passed. Starlight went on adventures and spent the vast majority of time with Twilight and her friends. Even though, deep down, she knew this was all fake, she liked it here. She didn’t see how they could defeat Bill if they got out anyway. Sure, Loopers had great power: but Bill would be prepared for just about anything.
What was the point, in the end?
It was better to live than to fight the pointless fight.
Starlight tried to live her life… And it worked for the most part. She and Twilight bonded, she actually felt… calm.
But she had no purpose. Nothing here had any purpose: it was just something Bill had cooked up as a trap. She was prone to constant bouts of depression and wouldn’t tell anyone why.
She couldn’t risk her new life falling apart.
Then one day, an earth pony with a slice of bread as a cutie mark walked into Twilight’s castle.
“Hi, I’m Tad Strange, and I’m here to tell you that this world is a fake.”
The Elements levelled “really?” looks at Tad. Starlight tried her best to keep a straight face.
“Perhaps you six recall an event a while back where you were imprisoned by a triangular one-eyed being known as Bill Cipher?”
Everyone except for Twilight and Starlight shook their heads. Twilight felt like she remembered something. Starlight was trying desperately to not show any response.
“Y’all are crazy.” Applejack said.
“I am singular, Applejack.” Tad offered. Then he turned to Starlight. “Unless you are counting her.”
“What do you mean?” Rarity asked.
“She entered the illusion with me. She should know this place is nothing more than a trap designed to keep the six of you here.”
Twilight’s ears perked up. “Really?” She asked.
Applejack waved her hoof in the air. “I’m detectin’ a whole lot of hodgepodge here Twilight, don’t believe a word any of them say.”
Starlight nodded. “I know nothing about what this… Tad person is talking about.”
“See? She agrees with me.” Applejack said. “Let’s just call somepony to get this feller here and—”
“Since when have we rejected anyone?” Twilight asked. “I hear what everyone has to say Applejack, you know this.”
Applejack visibly tensed. Twilight furrowed her brow. “Why would this make you tense? There would be no reason unless…” She blinked, turning to Starlight. “...you did mention a One-Eyed demon…”
Starlight shook her head. “I said no such thing.” She blatantly lied.
Twilight frowned. “Starlight… why are you lying to me?”
“You already know.” Tad Strange commented. “She wants to stay in this illusion. It is a lot better than where we came from. There’s still normal bread here, after all.”
Twilight frowned, turning to her “friends.” She looked at them all. All of them had been acting exactly as she’d expect for the longest time.
None of them had really surprised her. None of them had made an unexpected response.
Honestly, she should have seen it sooner. And now that she had seen it, the illusion became obvious. The new memories began to seem like nothing more than an extended dream. She remembered what happened.
“You’re the one who let Bill in aren’t you.”
Starlight squirmed. “Yes…”
“Why? What exactly did he show you?”
“He showed me a future.” Starlight countered. “I lived an extended dream. In one night, I lived several months. I was shown what my meddling with time would do: create a world that was dead, a Wasteland. And I lived there for those few months, trying desperately to make things better for the survivors. Just as it seemed like there was hope, all was lost. The hero and friend I had made died in a fire, the world began to collapse, and everything just died.” Starlight was enraged now. “And then he came, showing me that none of this had actually happened yet and that he could help me prevent it… for a price. He would allow the timeline to become cemented in such a way for that horrible future never to happen, as long as I let him into the world.” She stepped up onto the table. “And what did he do? He created a different apocalypse! I realized right then and there that everything was pointless, that there was no saving any of us. There will always be something that destroys us.”
She gestured around. “But here? Here we are safe. Here nothing is going to drive us to extinction. Here we can live out our lives without a constant fear of destruction.” She growled. “You Loopers have it easy: you have no fear of anything. You are so ancient and powerful that nothing really matters to you anymore. But think about us, think about our lives. Constantly reset, menial, and doomed to suffer from the greater forces of reality! I’ve heard what you and your friends have talked about day in and day out! I’ve heard tales of atrocities and great evil! You all treat it like it’s run of the mill. But we have to live and die with these things. So is it any surprise that we’d want your life? A life of safety? A life of no worries?”
Twilight was silent for a minute. “You’re wrong. Granted, we cannot die and any mental damage can generally be repaired with time. But we are still sentient creatures: we have emotions. We have souls. And we still care for those of us who are not looping, perhaps even putting you in a higher position than our own. Our lives mean little since we will just Wake Up again. But yours? Yours are beyond important. Yours are short, fleeting, and yet just as beautiful as our own. Do you ever wonder why we bother to save worlds time and time again? Granted, some of it is for the thrill, the challenge, or the fun. But we also do it for life: the lives of those who cannot come back. Not in the way you want.” She let out a deep sigh. “The multiverse can be a horrible, nasty, grimdark place at times. But the majority of us Loopers are working day in and day out to make those worlds better. Take the Dark Millennium Loop: that place is possibly the most dark, desolate, and grim world out there. The entire galaxy is besieged by enemies on all sides, there are powers beyond the grasp of even some Loopers, and there is tremendous injustice. And yet, if you look at that Loop now compared to the way it was in the past, you can see that the life of the galaxy has improved dramatically. There are still wars, there is still death, but the Loopers are continually making the place less and less of a crapsack, for the betterment of the whole galaxy! This is by no means an isolated case: I’d say the majority of Loopers are trying their best to make the multiverse as good as possible.”
Twilight paused for a moment. “What I’m trying to say is that we do think about you. While we may seem all high and mighty and above you, it is because we often find it hard to relate to you anymore. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care for you. Every life in existence is worth fighting for, even if it will just be reset in an hour. You all deserve to live your lives as long as Yggdrasil allows.”
Starlight backed down. “...Then why would I ever want to leave here? I go back there and… I end. Eventually, I’ll just end. Here I could go on forever.”
“But while you and I remain in here, Bill could be ending the lives of so many others. Or at the very least he’ll be ruining them. People do not want to live in his kind of world. While some Loopers may find his worlds rather… invigorating, the vast majority of beings would not tolerate it. Just like you do not want to live there.”
Starlight looked away. “But… what could we possibly do? He’s powerful enough to be able to counter you six-”
Twilight’s eyes twinkled. “Trust me, we can always think of something.” She turned to her five “friends.” “We would like to leave now.”
Starlight nodded. “I’m not going to be selfish.”
Tad Strange gave a thumbs up as the world crashed.

---

Bill felt the Bubble weaken. The Loopers were going to get out, much to his annoyance.
Well, that meant it was time to stop the simple party and get to the real plan…
“ALL RIGHT HENCHMANIACS! TIME TO TAKE THIS PARTY WORLDWIDE! COVER THE WORLD IN YOUR WEIRDNESS!”
Sounds of pleasure and excitement resonated from the group of Henchmaniacs. Discord snapped his fingers, giving all of them levitation powers. Bill opened up a hatch in the Fearamid roof, allowing them to fly out, ready to lay waste to the normal world outside.
Bill began to laugh. “AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!”
Then he heard a bunch of successive oofing noises. He turned to see the Henchmaniacs plastered against some kind of barrier. Bill stood stationary, blinking.
He floated up to the barrier, tapping it with his finger. It rippled across the red sky, revealing a domed shape that covered the entire area of Gravity Falls and the Everfree Forest, also encompassing the Fearamid and the crack in reality.
His eye twitched. Yggdrasil sure had some mean tricks up its sleeve. Stupid arbitrary plot devices!
“ALL RIGHT, CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THIS IS AND HOW WE’RE GOING TO GET PAST IT?” There has to be some way out of this stupid hick town.
Then he blinked. Wait. He turned to the two golden statues he had on his throne.
One of them probably had an idea…
“Bill… I’m in pain…”
“WALK IT OFF PACI-FIRE!”

---

Ford and the Doctor suddenly found themselves in full control of their bodies again. They let out a few choice angry yells. Ford went with “I AM GOING TO BURN YOU WITH LEMONS BILL! LEMONS! YOU HEAR ME?” While the Doctor went with “YOU’RE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO BOWTIES EVERYWHERE!”
They both shut up when they saw Bill appear playing a piano, singing.
OH WE’LL MEET AGAIN-
DON’T KNOW WHERE, DON’T KNOW WHEN
OH I KNOW WE’LL MEET AGAIN SOME SUNNY DAY!
Ford stared in disbelief. “You… You’ve been waiting a really long time to do that haven’t you?”
“YOU GOT ME SIXER, YOU GOT ME!” Bill said, looking very proud as he floated around the two of them. “SO, HERE’S THE THING SIXER AND DOC, SOMETHING IS KEEPING ME TRAPPED IN THIS TOWN.”
“The law of Weirdness Magnetism…” Ford muttered.
Suddenly, Bill grew to tremendous size. “AHA! SO YOU DO KNOW!”
Ford took a step back. “Not like I’m going to tell you anything…”
The Doctor sighed. “You won’t have to…”
“DOC’S RIGHT SIXER! I CAN JUST GET THE INFO OUT OF YOUR HEAD EASY-PEASY! I’VE GOTTEN REALLY GOOD AT READING MINDS AS YOU KNOW!”
Ford glared. “I suppose you’re still not going to tell me how you managed to get this good while not Looping?”
“NOPE! NOW…” Bill’s body flattened, the yellow coloring going away. His eye stared right at Ford and his body shuffled through dozens of images every second. Images of memories, events, those, abstract ideals, prophecies…
“FOUND IT!” Bill said, chuckling. Ford appeared crestfallen. He had tried to resist, he really had. Then Bill turned to the Doctor. “NOW FOR YOUR PURPOSE…”
“What?” The Doctor said, backing away.
“I’M GOING TO DOWNLOAD ALL YOUR TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE DIRECTLY INTO MY MIND AND USE IT TO CALCULATE A WAY OUT OF THIS BARRIER. I THOUGHT THAT WAS OBVIOUS.”
The Doctor tensed. He was extremely surprised that he didn’t feel anything as Bill began to go through his thoughts. This eldritch triangle truly was a master of secrets… Had the Doctor not been so concerned he would have found Bill absolutely fascinating. He still did, to some extent.
Bill returned to normal, floating above the two of them. Quantum formulae, dimensional algorithms and Block Transfer Computations began to take shape around him in reality altering patterns. “THANKS! THAT’S ALL I NEEDED FROM YOU TWO. BACK TO GOLDEN TOWN!” He clapped his hands, turning them both back into golden trophies.
Now, to actually complete the calculations…
He would be free…

---

They all began to appear in an area of complete blackness, and all still in the form of ponies. Applejack, Lyra, Toby, and Ivan appeared first. Moments later, Chrysalis, Wendy, and Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy, The Shapeshifter, and Powers appeared third, followed closely by Gideon, Ghost Eyes, and Rarity.
It took a full minute for Tad, Starlight, and Twilight to appear.
The five present elements quickly ran to each other, entering an embrace. Fluttershy and Rarity were visibly distraught, but the five friends managed to comfort each other. Starlight began to back away awkwardly.
“Starlight, get in here.” Twilight said, pulling her into the group hug. Starlight resisted at first, but quickly realized resistance was futile. She smiled.
Lyra grinned. Starlight was smiling, five of them were freed, and they were in complete blackness. It all looked-
Wait complete blackness?
Everyone began to take in their surroundings. There was nothing. Aside from themselves, it was just empty blackness.
“This appears to be a formless void.” Tad Strange observed.
“Thank you captain obvious.” Lyra muttered, looking for anything in the blackness. She squinted her eyes, looking carefully. She pointed her hoof. “Over there. I think I see… something.”
The somewhat large group began to walk in the direction she pointed. At first, it seemed as if they were approaching nothing. Then, as they got closer, they saw something pink in the distance.
“Pinkie!” Twilight yelled first, beginning to gallop towards the pink form. Everyone else followed suit, though those who weren't used to the equine bodies kept tripping over their own four hooves.
Twilight was the first to arrive. At Pinkie’s feet were the dozen or so mental patients who entered the Bubble. Pinkie herself was bound to some kind of invisible pole, wrapped in all sorts of eldritch chains. Her eyes were closed and her hair was straight. She made no movement, seemingly dejected.
Twilight quickly lit up her horn, enveloping Pinkie in a spell of healing. To Twilight’s surprise, Pinkie didn’t need any healing. She was just… not fighting.
The pink pony opened her eyes, sensing something was different. Instantly her hair poofed up and a grin appeared on her face. “TWILIGHT!” She exclaimed with glee. “OH IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU!”
Twilight nodded, discovering that Pinkie was suddenly outside the chains, bouncing like her normal self. “Oh I’m so happy to see you! I was completely alone for… I don’t know how long! Bill couldn’t convince me that the illusion was real, so he used the energy from you five to lock me up here completely alone! But since you’re all here I’m free! Free! This calls for a party!”
Twilight smiled. She should have known better than to be concerned for Pinkie.
“Glad to have you back Pinkie.” Lyra said as Pinkie let out a barrage of party cannons. “Now… how do we get out of here?”
Pinkie thought about this for a moment. “Oh that’s easy, we need to fracture the Tree of Harmony by sending the elements into a feedback loop!”
Twilight shook her head slowly. “But that’d corrupt the Magic of Harmony for this Loop? Don’t we need it to defeat Bill?”
Pinkie shrugged. “He knows it’s dangerous, so he used it against us. The only way for us to get out is to neutralize the magic!”
“This sounds like a bit of a convenience for our enemy…” Ghost Eyes observed.
Pinkie shrugged. “He can only manipulate the Magic of Harmony indirectly. He can’t actually alter its structure: we have to do that. He just made it so we’d have to.”
Twilight nodded. “So we have to make the Elements completely useless for this loop… Alright I have to admit he’s very clever. I wonder how many backup plans he has.”
“More.” Was Pinkie’s only response to this.
Twilight nodded. “Well, now’s the time to show him he doesn’t have enough. Girls? Let’s stand together, this is going to take a while to charge up…”
The Shapeshifter watched as the six ponies congregated around each other. Unlike the others, he actually was able to return to his normal form. He frowned. “Does this seem odd to you?”
“Odd how?” Ivan asked.
“Too easy, that’s how…” The Shapeshifter said.
As soon as the words left his mouth, the darkness began to take shape. Creatures from the depths of Hades began to appear, taking familiar yet distorted forms. The combined nightmares of everyone present took place: evil versions of themselves, memories of intense torture and pain, subconscious dark desires. There were the standard boogeymen and monsters-in-closets from childhood, tied together with lost children and ghosts of those long dead. Visions of past mistakes, past murders, past losses of self. Visions of horrid futures given form: lumbering shapes that looked like wastelands, beings that appeared to be crumbling trees, spheres that showed the death of all things. The loss of loved ones, the destruction of homes.
More than a few of the nightmares looked like distorted versions of Bill himself, many with impossible geometries.
Then all the nightmares surged in at once, teeth gnashing.
The mane six were occupied with their magic, unable to do anything in their state. So that left Lyra in charge. “We have to protect them guys!” She leapt into the air, pulling out a multi-barrel rocket launcher. It occurred to her that she probably needed Seapony to make the most of this rocket launcher, but she had to go with what she had.
The rockets flew out, rippling the dark realm with explosions. But the nightmares came closer, attacking all they could.
The Shapeshifter was struck by a nightmare, and found that he was permanently stuck as a butterfly. He screamed, attempting to get away from an angry version of Ford. A similar thing happened to Chrysalis.
Ivan had a completely different problem. The nightmares that were surrounding him were of him doing things he couldn’t recognize: him having a family, him destroying the lives of children, him killing people in cold blood. “I didn’t do these things! I didn’t!”
“How do you know?” They responded, before attacking him full force.
Tad was assaulted by bread. He reacted by screaming in a… calm way. Somehow.
Gideon was being assaulted by dozens of evil Rarities, Bill Ciphers, and Lyras.
Powers and Lyra were the ones standing against the nightmares most effectively. Powers because of his lack of any kind of dreams, and Lyra because she was used to this kind of thing. One tended to become immune to nightmares when they became commonplace after all, and receiving Loop Memories from all possible Lyras every Loop meant at least one horror Loop on average usually snuck in. Luckily Sweet Roll didn’t understand fear, so that was her job to handle.
Lyra kept tossing Powers weapons and he used them admirably, calculatingly destroying nightmares left and right, protecting the six Elemental ponies. Lyra was mildly impressed that he was able to do all this in the body of a pony.
But it wasn’t enough, there were just too many.
Starlight was trying, she really was, but she had been overwhelmed by images of ponies dying, of wastelands come to life, of her extended nightmare… The power of it was just too strong for her. She broke down, curling into a ball. It was just too much. Bill had her live an entire life in one night, months where she made great connections and saw some amazing things. Then everything died and it all turned out to be some dream of a possible future.
And both of her fears were being displayed to her: the fear that everyone was dead and that everyone would still die, or that none of it was real or ever had been real. That it was all a pointless dream made up by the One Eyed Demon to trick her…
She began to weep as the nightmares closed in on her. She wished her friends were here-
“ALRIGHT YOU NUT GRABBING PATHETIC SONS OF RETARDED DONKEYS! TAKE THIS!”
Starlight raised her head. She knew that voice…
She stared in awe as several dozen guns appeared from nowhere, being held in the air by green magic. They all unleashed simultaneously, driving bullets, explosions, and magic deep into the nightmares, driving them back. As the noise died down, a grey mare was revealed. Brown hair and a strange device around her front leg-
“LITTLEPIP?” Lyra gawked. “WHAT THE- HOW THE- WHAAAAA….?” The four personalities began to break down as they couldn't comprehend what the variant pony was doing here.
Starlight stared at Littlepip. “...What are you doing here?”
The mare smiled. “I’m a dream of yours. And dreams always coexist with nightmares. Now let’s BLOW THEM UP!”
Lyra smacked the side of her head. “Of course! Dreams! EVERYONE THINK ABOUT YOUR DREAMS!”
Powers blinked. “What?”
“Not you. You continue doing what you’re doing.” Lyra said, focusing on her inner dreams. Everyone else did the same.
Then things began to change.
The Shapeshifter and Chrysalis returned to their original forms. The Shapeshifter’s dreams took the shape of freedom and the stars, while Chrysalis’ took on the shape of her drones and a happy, normal life. They attacked the nightmares in full force.
Ivan’s dreams took the shapes of knowledge and a certain beautiful woman he would deny everything about later. He dreamed about being a good person who had no need to erase memories, that there really wasn’t anything he was hiding from himself.
Gideon dreamed of Rarity. At first he thought it was awesome. “Allright! Let’s get ‘im!” Then he looked at the Rarity dreams, and saw how they all seemed sad. Dejected. He frowned. “Y'all know you don’t have to fight if ya don’t want to…” He smiled. “I free ya to do what you wish!”
And with that, the Rarity dreams became beacons of light, attacking all the nightmares away. Gideon grinned. “This feels much better.”
Ghost eyes roared, flinging kitten fists at the Nightmares. The insane patients created unusual nightmares of their own as their dreams. Fighting fire with fire. The two psyches clashed, colors flying everywhere.
Wendy became a cross between a super heroine, an axe wielding insane person, and flaming elemental.
Next to Powers, two unusual men appeared, both looking way too… colorful.
“Hey there dude!” One said.
“We’re Xyler and Craz!” The other said.
“And since you have no dreams-”
“We’re here to fill in for them!”
Powers made a grunting noise. “Then help!” He said, firing his gun.
“Nah…” Xyler said, sitting back. “Totally more bodacious to just enjoy the show.”
“Yeah!” Craz responded. “Pony fights are awesome!”
Lyra split into four forms, Human throwing Sweetroll as if she were a fireball. “HERE WE GO!”
Pony leapt into the air, somehow wielding Thief like a sword. “TAKE THIS! And THIS! And-”
“THIS!” The entire black space lit up in an explosion, sending all the combatants flying. In the middle of the release of power stood a mint-green fishy form.
“SEAPONY!” The other Lyra’s squealed in glee. “So good to have you back!”
“LET’S WRECK SOME NIGHTMARES!”
“Heck yes!”
The fight drew to a standstill, and that was all that was needed. They just had to keep the mane 6 safe.
Then Starlight’s dreams entered the fray, Littlepip leading the charge of dozens of people, ideas, and dreams. “Okay. Time to blow up some sorry excuses for Luna-forsaken nightmares. Let’s show them some real pain guys.”
The dreams whooped, charging in, guns blazing. Starlight smiled. Everything felt… Right.
It was at this point that Twilight yelled “DONE!”

---

Soos, Everfree Forest Desperado, watched as the Tree of Harmony began to crack and shatter. The corrupted crystal split down the middle, and the giant Bubble began to ripple with greater and greater speed.
Then it exploded in a shower of sparks, Harmonious energy flying everywhere. The Bubble was no more, the tree nothing more than a stump with a few shards here and there.
Soos gaped as dozens of people fell from where the Bubble had been. He rushed towards them, helping them up. “Dudes! Haven’t seen you in ages!”
Lyra rubbed her forehead. “Yeah…” She chuckled. “My head hurts…”
Gideon whooped. “That. Was. Amazin’!”
“It certainly was Darling.” Rarity added.
Ghost Eyes held Gideon and Lyra high. “WE HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL!”
Everyone celebrated in a series of whoops and cheers and party cannons.
Tad Strange spoke up. “Excuse me everyone, but it appears as if we have some unexpected company.” He pointed at some forms that had not entered the bubble, but had come out. Among them were Xyler, Craz, a strange being apparently made of stars, Angel Bunny, another Rarity, a loaf of bread, and-”
“Littlepip!” Starlight cheered, rushing up to her friends and hugging intensely.
“Woah woah! Calm down there! Just because I’m alive again doesn’t mean- well nevermind yes it does.”
Starlight was crying. “You.. you were dead… everyone was dead… It was all gone… all of it…”
Twilight walked up to the two of them. She understood what had happened now. “Bill sent you an extended dream that he based off of something he found buried in our minds.”
Starlight’s eyes widened. “So you’re telling me what I saw actually exists somewhere?”
“It’s not that common of a variant, at least for us--it’s a variant of a different reality, long story-- but yes I have met Littlepip a few times.”
“That’s…. that’s horrible. Everyone dies, over and over again-”
“Actually Starlight, it all ends in sunshine and rainbows.” Twilight said, looking over at Pinkie meaningfully. “Bill must have distorted the dream to manipulate you.”
Starlight’s face lost all emotion for a few seconds. Then it cemented into a shape of pure rage. “I AM GOING TO KILL HIM.”
Littlepip grinned. “That’s my Starlight. Now, since I’m here why don’t we go blow up some chaos god ass? I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Twilight shrugged. “You are generally pretty good at being a living arsenal… But we should probably regroup with everyone first. Lyra, how are all the other Loopers doing?”
“Uh… Well - Seapony get out of here! Just because you’re back does not give you free reign! Let me talk! - Frosting - You see Ford got captured, I have no idea where the Doctor is, and Stan should be at the Mystery Shack, bunkering up.”
“Then that’s where we’re headed.” Twilight waved her hand, scanning the area. “Time to trek through this Weirdmageddon and find the Shack. Then we take the fight to Bill.”
Starlight gaped. “You… you can fight him directly?”
Twilight chuckled. “We’re Loopers Starlight. Something in our Pockets is going to do something to him. And with all our friends around, we’ve probably got enough resources to start a new universe.” She winked. “Let’s go get him.”
Ghost Eyes pointed. “Look, there’s a spark in the sky!”
Everyone turned. Twilight paled. She recognized a tactical nuke when she saw one.
Powers nodded. “Wondered when they were going to do that.”
Twilight immediately raised a shield around the immediate area, preparing for a nuclear impact. But none came- the missile was stopped by some kind of barrier around the entire town. She watched as the explosion rippled the barrier. Lots of golden numbers and equations began to appear around the nuclear explosion's impact site, and Twilight felt the barrier vanish.
Then they all heard the laugh.
“AHAHAHHAHAHA-AH-AHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA-HA!”
Nobody saw Bill, but it felt like he was suddenly everywhere. Like he had been released from somewhere, and was now able to control everything.
“We need to get back to the Shack. Now.” Wendy said.

---

Bill had done it. The barrier was down. And down for good. There was nothing stopping him anymore.
He’d told the Henchmaniacs to stay behind in the Fearamid. They had disappointed him: he’d needed to get his hands dirty to defeat the barrier. So he decided he would get to bend the universe to his whim first and he’d let them join in on the fun later. They got to stay in that stupid town as if they had a barrier of their own.
But him?
He grew. To a truly absurd size, dwarfing the Earth.
“HELLO, NATIONS OF THE THIRD PEBBLE FROM THE SUN! THE NAME’S BILL CIPHER: AND IT’S TIME TO HAVE SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING FUN KNOWN TO ALL EXISTENCE! PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN INTO A PARTY THAT NEVER STOPS! ARE YOU EXCITED? I KNOW I’M EXCITED!”
He started by drawing a smiley face onto North America, flattening hundreds of cities and ending hundreds of thousands of lives. He cackled, bringing all the dead ones back to life as mutant crab creatures.
Bill was vaguely aware of some top-secret satellites firing all sorts of secret doomsday weapons at him. They only tickled. He was also aware of dozens of different cults and magical societies sending advanced hexes and anti-chaos spells at him.
Admirable tries
”HAHAHAHHAHAHA! DO YOU ALL THINK THAT THAT’LL STOP ME? YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING-”
He blinked, sensing something highly advanced activating in a section of Colorado that he hadn’t flattened. He sensed Ford and the Doctor receive a Ping... and something else...
“LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE NEW HAS COME TO CRASH THE PARTY.”
“You got that right you equilateral moron!” A voice said over a radio. “Name’s General Jack O’Neill, and I’m not happy to Wake Up to this!”
“OH BOY THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME COLONEL SNARK? YES I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. THINK YOU CAN STOP ME?”
“Probably not. But I do have a few million ships in my Pocket and a lot of allies to call in favors from.”
Suddenly, dozens of ships dropped out of hyperspace around Bill, and millions more began to appear from nowhere. Bill recognized ships of all sorts of universes, Federation ships, Asgard ships, Borg ships, Imperium ships, Culture ships. There were even several designs he didn’t recognize immediately. He didn’t have time to try either as they all opened fire on him at once.
Bill felt pain. It wasn’t a feeling completely alien to him: he had felt particularly devastating mental abuse before. He knew what it felt like to have one’s mind flayed and to have limbs removed.
That being said, he hadn’t felt any of that for a long time. And some of these gigantic weapons that O’Neill had stashed away were actually tearing his form apart. Curse that stupid General and his fascination with big honkin’ space guns.
Bill swept his arm wide, a wave of intense gamma rays flying out and melting hundreds of ships. Bill then proceed to duplicate himself in a fractal pattern, spreading out tiny versions of himself that were smaller than atoms, tearing apart the weapons at their most basic levels. Bill reformed into a body the size of jupiter, destroying many ships simply with his rapid growth.
He felt another large impact on himself, destabilizing his form. He roared, specifically targeting those ships with that very annoying brand of magic.
From Earth, the night sky lit up with all the colors people could imagine, and some they couldn’t. The colors of magical blasts, antimatter explosions, transdimensional rays, and uber-powerful lasers lit up the sky.
O’Neill grinned. That triangular nacho was doomed. As soon as he thought this he frowned.
“Stupid Murphy…” He muttered as he prepared plan B.
Bill flew in and out between the fleets of ships, fracturing himself into hundreds of small chunks and tearing the ships apart molecule by molecule, taking out all the craft that had any mildly annoying weapons on them.
After doing that, it became nothing more than a game. Toss ships at each other, trick them into shooting each other, have two ships suddenly gain sentience, fall in love, and then be destroyed by an angry jealous ship. It was so fun!
Bill eventually prevailed, destroying virtually all the ships, and repairing what damage had been done rapidly. He laughed. “THAT ALL YOU PATHETIC HUMANS GOT? COME ON, HIT ME WITH A BLACK HOLE OR SOMETHING AT LEAST-”
Then a tremendous ship the size of a star appeared before Bill. It was a long ship, vaguely rectangular in shape. It had two gigantic bays that could be used to move planets beneath it, and Bill sensed some kind of omniuniversal force powering it, in addition to several lesser backup systems. Bill sensed dozens of types of propulsion, obviously designed to work in whatever universe the ship happened to find itself in.
It was also armed to the teeth of the teeth. Weapons of all kinds, shapes, colors, materials, and makes lined every last section of the ship, and Bill sensed more weapons inside the ship itself, some designed to begin functioning once part of the ship was blown off while others were designed to fire from inside the ship itself.
On the side, in gigantic planet-sized letters, the name Enterprise was emblazoned. Bill groaned inwardly. “YOU EVER THINK YOU SHOULD COME UP WITH A BETTER NAME FOR YOUR BIG SHIPS?”
O’Neill simply grinned. “How about Chaos Bane? I did design this thing to face off against your kind, after all.”
Bill blinked slowly. “YOU AND I BOTH KNOW YOU HAD CARTER DO MOST THE WORK.”
“Yeah, so what? I’m still going to blow you up.”
“ONE PROBLEM WITH THAT?”
“Oh? What’s that?”
Bill snapped his fingers, teleporting right in front of O’Neil. The people of Stargate Command began to panic as the jupiter-sized demon they had been scanning suddenly appeared in front of them the size of a dorito. “THIS.” He scanned O’Neill’s brain, ignoring all the pathetic bullets that kept grazing him. He quickly found all the nuances of controlling the ship and teleported out before the General got smart and smashed him with a transdimensional hammer or something. He chuckled as he realized the ship was specially designed only to respond to the thoughts of the Stargate Loopers. That was virtually impassable, only a being with absurd amounts of power and complete dominion over the mind would be able to hack the system…
Bill spent about a minute making a mimic of O’Neill’s brainwaves, making sure to stay hidden from the behemoth ship’s sensors. Then he set out a single command: Disable all power systems.
The Enterprise, feat of Looper engineering countless years in the making, abruptly ceased functioning. It sat in space, drifting. In a few weeks there would have been a problem with it impacting into Earth, but Bill would make sure his favorite little planet was safe. Relatively speaking, anyway. For now though, he needed to pay attention to the rest of the universe.
After all, with O’Neill, the Doctor, the Ponies, and the native Loopers being here, there were probably many other Branches linked here. Some with their own Loopers that could Awaken at any moment. He would have to deal with them all, one way or another.
He wondered who he would find…
As he left, he lowered the gravity of the Earth to 75%, just to mess with people.

---

Starlight tripped over her own to feet as the gravity of Earth lessened. Normally this wouldn’t have been much of a problem. But she’d been walking up to the door of the Mystery Shack, preparing to knock and see if anyone was home.
She stumbled over the front step, hitting the front door and accidentally bashing it in. She groaned, beginning to sit up. She froze as she noticed several dozen cruel looking and unusual weapons pointed at her. The crowd inside the shack consisted of many familiar faces, people she’d seen around town. Pacifica Northwest, Old Man McGucket, that guy who married the woodpecker. She also saw many of the unusual creatures of Gravity Falls: Celestabethabethabelle, a few Manataurs, several gnomes, the Multibear, and the golf-ball people. Several were partially turned to stone, injured, and missing limbs. (Or had new limbs that didn’t used to be there.)
“Woah woah woah!” Rainbow Dash said, flying in. “Lay off!” She glared at all the weapon-holders disapprovingly. “You should be ashamed of yourselves!”
“She’s the one who let Bill in!” Stan said, coming to the head of the crowd. “Why are you defending her?”
Littlepip shoved a gun into Stan’s chin. “She said lay off so lay off.”
“Who’re you?” Stan asked, slowly moving the gun off his chin.
“She’s totally bodacious!” Xyler, Craz, and Toby all said at once. “That’s who!”
Stan looked at the technicolor men. “No. No. How are you here! Mabel isn’t here. Why? Is this some kind of cruel joke? BILLLLL!!!!”
“Calm down Stan.” Twilight said, strolling into the Shack. She looked at everyone around. “...This is quite a diverse set of people…”
Stan grunted. “McGucket here brought them all in yesterday. Said their previous hiding spot got compromised or something. I, being the gentleman that I am, let them in.”
“Ah had to bribe ya!” McGucket objected.
Stan glared at the old man.
Celestabethabethabelle. stood up, walking towards them all. “Oh heroes pure of heart, please save us from this horrid existence-” Then she saw Applejack. “Oh. You.”
“Celestabethabethabelle.” Applejack said, frowning.
“Nevermind I take it all back. We’re doomed.”
Littlepip growled. “Now listen here you cheating cocky little-”
Tad Strange interrupted. “Perhaps we should all try to work together and come up with a way to end this inconvenience instead of tearing at the each other’s throats?”
Stan groaned. “Tad, why are you involved?”
“I think it’s because I’m the most level headed.”
“I doubt that.” Powers objected.
“He does seem a lot less MANLY than you!” Pupitaur yelled, giving Rainbow Dash a high-five in the process.
Rarity frowned. “I thought you were shunned by the Manataurs Rainbow?”
“Eh. I went back a few times and had some fun.” Everyone stared at her. “What? They’re good people to hang around. We do awesome stuff! All while hiding it from Tirek!” Another round of high-fives and a hoofbump with one of the other unicorns.
Jeff the gnome groaned. “This is absurd. This is just absurd.”
“And posing as a human to snag a queen isn’t?” Applejack responded, raising her eyebrow.
“Completely normal for gnomes.” Jeff retorted.
“And the attempted kidnapping?”
“...Not so much.”
Ivan shrugged. “Kidnapping isn't that unusual.”
Starlight glared. “That was a stupid way to go about our business and you know it.”
“I thought it was very rocking.”
Ivan and Starlight slowly turned to stare at Maud. “I thought your memory was erased?”
“It was. Then Boulder reminded me.”
Ivan and Starlight couldn’t comprehend this.
“Ah remember stuff too!” McGucket said, slapping his knee. “Perhaps we can trade notes!”
“I liked quartz while my memory was lost. Now I like sandstone. You?”
“Uh... “ McGucket blinked, squinting. “Er… Blue sandstone? I like blue sandstone.”
“Cool.”
Stan groaned. “This bodes well.”
Twilight held up a hand. “Now hold on, we aren’t doomed. We have collected here some of the greatest minds and most diverse skillsets this world has ever known. Surely we can do something to end Bill’s reign.”
“But what?” Starlight asked. “He is an all powerful Chaos god at this point. What are we going to do to stop him?”
“Unicorn hair.” Twilight said, grinning. “We are going to need a lot of unicorn hair.”
“You do not get to have my royal locks!” Celestabethabethabelle made certain everyone knew.
Rarity sighed, transforming herself again. “Guess it’s time to get the hair-growth tonic and the shaver…” She shuddered. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with several metric tons of hair…”

---

Anakin, currently in his Darth Vader guise, was talking to Jean-Luc Picard at the negotiating table. The two of them had Awoken about an hour ago, though Anakin wasn’t entirely sure about Picard. He could never tell with the Star Trek Loopers.
“So…” Anakin began. “A peace between our two galaxies?”
“It would be extremely beneficial to the both of us.” Picard responded. “Imagine, the first galactic alliance the cosmos has ever seen-”
“ACTUALLY IT HAPPENED A FEW MILLION YEARS AGO ALREADY. BUT I DON’T SUPPOSE YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT.” Bill turned his chair around, sitting at a side of the table that didn’t exist five minutes ago. “BUT DO CONTINUE, IT HAS TO BE INTERESTING.”
Picard stood up. “What are you and why are you here?”
“ISN’T IT OBVIOUS?” His eye transformed into a viewscreen, showcasing images from both their Looping lives. “YOU ARE LOOPERS. AND NO DOUBT YOU WILL TRY TO STOP ME.”
“From doing what?” Anakin asked.
“WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!” He clapped his hands, turning the two of them into golden statues. Then he frowned.
“NICE TRICK, DIPLOMAT. BUT I CAN STILL SENSE YOUR MIND SOMEWHERE-”
The entire room blew up with an intense transdimensional attack. Bill teleported out, Anakin in his hand. “WOAH WOAH WOAH! THAT’S JUST NOT FAIR! OH WAIT, YES IT IS, BECAUSE I KNOW YOUR MIND!” Bill snapped his fingers, teleporting the real Piccard too him. “THAT WAS REALLY CLEVER HIDING YOUR HOLOGRAPHIC NATURE IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS SO THAT EVEN YOU WEREN’T AWARE OF IT.”
“Who are you and what do you want?”
“NAME’S BILL CIPHER. I WANT TO PARTY. ANY MORE QUESTIONS?”
“Where’s Q?”
“NONEXISTENT IN THIS REALITY, APPARENTLY. WHICH IS RATHER FORTUNATE, HE WOULD HAVE CRAMPED MY STYLE.”
He snapped his fingers, turning Picard to stone. Then he felt a searing pain in the back of his eye. He whirled around to see the golden statue of Anakin using the Force to impale him with a gigantic lightsaber. Bill twitched, encasing the statue in anti-Force materials. “CLEVER. REALLY NICE TRY. BUT NO LUCK, DARTH VADER. I’M JUST TOO CLEVER FOR YOU.”
The golden statue stared back at him.
“TRYING TO BREAK THE PETRIFICATION? HA! GOOD LUCK. THERE’S A REASON YOU AREN’T JUST STONE RIGHT NOW, THAT’S A VERY SPECIAL SUBSTANCE YOU’RE MADE OF. EVEN WITH YOUR SKILLS IT SHOULD TAKE YOU A FEW DECADES TO GET OUT! AHAAHAHAHHAHA-HE-AHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!”

---

“Ah’m putting the arm here!” Applejack said, hammering a large mechanical arm into place.
“Remember to lace the unicorn hair on it!” Ghost Eyes said. “We don’t want Bill to have any weakness to exploit! WEAKNESSES ARE FOR SISSIES!”
“Oh Ghost Eyes!” Gideon said, waving him over. “We need someone strong over here to move this-”
“I’m doing just fine.” Wendy grunted.
Gideon rolled his eyes. “Ghost Eyes, help her.”
Ghost Eyes complied, to Wendy’s annoyance.
Stan blinked. “So we’re turning the Shack into a giant mech.”
“Yep.” Tad Strange said, eating a slice of toast.
“Does this seem a little absurd to you?”
“Not really. After all the Eye of Providence is running rampant across the universe, turning planets into pastries and stars into pizza. This seems rather tame by comparison.”
Stan grunted. “Well, guess this is as good of an idea as any. Wake me when something happens.”
He passed Littlepip, who was currently tuning into the Weridmageddon Radio.
“I’m Chandra Jimenez, and I’ve managed to sneak right into the heart of this hardship. For the first time we can see what is happening inside the Fearamid, and learn what’s happened to all our fellow townsfolk. I can see the Henchmaniacs dancing around in a horrendous festivity involving possible cannibalism, and the being known as Discord sitting on a throne made up of petrified citizens.
Will no one save us from this terror? Surely someone can do something!
I’m Shandra Jimenez, and I’m being turned into stone.”
There was static for a few seconds.
“Well Uh… Vinyl Scratch here, apparently running the Weirdmageddon radio full time now. Currently hiding from the eyebats, but I think I can play some music for you guys! Who’s ready for some wubs? I know I AM! … Crap hold on one moment got to run away from these eyebats… holy cow that’s a lot of them…
Uh listen, anyone there? I’m by the Gravity Malls and I’m stuck between a dragon and an eyebat swarm… I may need a little help here.
Littlepip wasted no time. “Vinyl Scratch needs us! Wendy, Shapeshifter, Powers: with me. Twilight, can you take a moment to teleport us to Gravity Malls?”
Twilight obliged, lighting up her horn and sending the four of them to the Gravity Malls clearing. Sure enough, there was Vinyl Scratch (equipped with some really sweet portable dj gear) running away from an eyebat swarm.
“Hey Hey! Mind helping me here?”
Littlepip grinned. “That’s why we’re here.” She locked onto the eyebats, letting loose her large arsenal. Powers drew his guns that he kept from Lyra, taking out the ones closest to Vinyl. The Shapeshifter rushed the swarm, the eyebats quickly finding that he could undo any petrification done to him. Their advance was halted, but only for a moment. They got reinforcements.
Wendy, meanwhile, had a secondary idea in mind. “Hey Blaze!”
The golden-red dragon opened his eye. “What?”
“We’re gathering people to go fight Bill. Want to help?”
“...Sure. He destroyed my lair.”
“You can start by roasting those eyebats.” Wendy said. Blaze compiled, the golden tint of his fire quickly incinerating the entire swarm.
It was at this point Vinyl Awoke. “That. Was. So. AWESOME! Floating mutant eyes killed by fire-breathing dragon! AWWW YEAH!!!”
Littlepip walked up, cocking her head. “You’re Awake?”
“Yeah of course I am- Wait. Littlepip? You’re not Looping!”
“No I’m not.” Littlepip muttered, rolling her eyes. “I’ve just been informed-”
“OOH! Since you’re here does this mean this is a Fallout Equestria loop? CAN I- oh wait I have hands. IS IT A FALLOUT EQUESTRIA GIRLS LOOP?”
The Shapeshifter returned to his default form. “Should we tell her?”
“Loop memories will kick in eventually. At least, that’s what Starlight told me.” Littlepip responded.
“IS STARLIGHT LOOPING???”
Littlepip chuckled. “No. But we are fighting a chaos god of nigh-unimaginable power. He’s out there distorting the galaxy as we speak-”
Vinyl grabbed Littlepip by the face. “Do. You. Have. Any. Idea. What. That. Means?”
“Uh..”
“If he can distort the galaxy to his whim… Do you have any idea how many things I can safely wubbify in a universe like this? No boundaries! Yeeaah!”
Powers scratched his head. “Is she okay?”
“Probably not.” Littlepip responded. Then she grinned. “And that’s a good thing, in this instance. WENDY!”
“Yeah?”
“Can we ride Blaze black to the Shack?”
“Sure. I can offer my dragon-fire forging assistance.”
“And I am going to make the mother of all bass cannons AGAIN!” Vinyl laughed evilly. Weird lightning shot out of the ground into the sky. Then Vinyl’s face calmed down as her Loop memories hit. She rummaged through her pockets, pulling out a few pockets of smile dip.
“So this is the Loop where this is from…”
Littlepip slapped the stuff onto the ground. “No. Now is not the time for this.”
“What about-”
“No. Onto Blaze, we’re riding a dragon home.”

---

Raiden, god of lightning, uppercut Bill with immense force. He was not holding back, and it was very obvious that Bill was actually taking damage.
Uppercut. Beam of electricity. Storm of the heavens. An entire star discharging its power into a lightning bolt. The eldritch construct was losing cohesion, albeit slowly.
“I LIKE YOUR SPIRIT BUDDY!”
Raiden said nothing, continuing to attack Bill with all the electricity at his disposal.
“ONE QUESTION THOUGH…”
Raiden channeled energy directly out of his subspace Pocket, blasting into Bill at full force.
“DID YOU NOTICE THAT I’M LETTING YOU HIT ME?”
Raiden paused. “What is your point?”
“OH COME ON LIGHTNING BOLT, SURELY A FIGHTING MASTER LIKE YOU CAN REALIZE WHY SOMEONE WOULD WANT TO BE HIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.”
Raiden’s eyes twitched.
“MAYBE THEY WOULD, YOU KNOW, HAVE A MOVE THAT THROWS YOUR POWER BACK AT YOU EXPONENTIALLY?”
Raiden’s eyes widened as he saw Bill shoot his energy directly back at him. He screamed in agony as he felt his skin burn off with the power of an attack he couldn’t comprehend. It felt a lot like what that Giygas guy threw out, except a million times worse. He lost most of his power, barely keeping himself alive in the vacuum of space.
Bill snapped his fingers. “ANOTHER TOY FOR MY COLLECTION!”

---

Twilight frowned as she watched Vinyl create some bizarre wub-based weapon and attach it to the ever-growing mech. She was glad for the DJ’s help, she really was, but her presence concerned her.
She had felt several Pings since she left the Bubble, and who knew how many she had missed while inside of it?
She was almost positive: Weirdmageddon was attracting Loopers to it. How or why she didn’t know: but she knew it was. And that concerned her. The Loop had proven itself very resilient: Bill had done many things that would simply crash other Loops without a single problem. But that didn’t mean that it couldn’t crash. And even though Bill was Loop Aware, he had obviously never gone this far before. She doubted even he had any idea exactly how far he could go.
They really needed to stop him. Quickly. And to do that first they had to save Ford and see what idea he had. Maybe there was some secret from the baseline that was his weakness. She began to focus on combing through her Pocket for more things to use on the mech. Her five friends were doing the same, taking things out, examining them, tossing them back in. The mech was nearing completion.
“Hey uh…” The six of them looked up to see Littlepip talking to them.
“You six have probably heard this from me hundreds of times but… Look, I really appreciate what you do, both in Loops and out of them, Awake or not. Your friendship and morals are an inspiration to us all, be it a Loop or not, be it an apocalypse or not, be it some friendship problem or not: you six are an inspiration to us all. I’m honored to have met you, even though I am just some dream from the head of a random person.”
Twilight smiled. “Thank you Littlepip. But don’t cut yourself short- you’ve done a lot as well.”
“Yeah… I suppose so.” She hefted up her gun. “Now, when do we get to go shoot stuff?”
“Soon.” Rainbow Dash said, grinning. “Soon. Soon we will lay siege to the Fearamid.”
Littlepip grinned as well. “Time to show that geometrical abomination who’s the real master here… I have some ideas involving chains, whips, and dimensional warp cannons.”
Everyone stared at her.
“Eep! Uh- didn’t mean it like that.”
Twilight shrugged. “Just keep attaching weapons to things. We can never have too many.”
McGucket poked his head out of the ceiling. “Actually I have a mathematical equation to describe the rate at which weapons slowly become too much for the structure to handle—”
“Nevermind.” Twilight muttered. “Just slap more weapons-”
BWOOOKAWOOSHABVUMVUMVUMVUM!
“AWWWW YEAHHH BASE CANNON IS OPERATIONAL!”
“VINYL!” Lyra yelled. “YOU JUST CUT A HOLE INTO THE FRONT HULL! NOW WE HAVE TO REBUILD IT!”
“Eh no sweat. Bass cannon needed testing.”
Everyone groaned.
“Almost ready?” Twilight yelled to everyone.
“Systems go! Tardis is cooperating!” Starlight responded.
“I have powered up the fire systems.” Blaze noted.
“My fluids have become the joints.” The shapeshifter noted. “We can re-assemble easily and change our own shape.”
“Portal is ACTIVE!” McGucket whooped. “HOT DIDGGETY BANJO YAY!”
“Uh… Twilight?” One of the gnomes asked.
“What?”
“The computer system is asking for you.”
Twilight cocked her head, walking into the computer room.
“HELLO TWILIGHT, BEEN A WHILE.”
“Oh. Hi SkyNet.” Twilight said. “It has been a while.”
“I HAVE ANALYZED THE SITUATION. AT OUR CURRENT LEVEL DIRECT CONFRONTATION WITH BILL ONLY HAS A 42% CHANCE OF SUCCESS.”
“Hence the rescue mission.”
“OF COURSE. BUT I WILL BE EVER INCREASING OUR ODDS. I’M ALSO LOOKING FORWARD TOWARDS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH HIM. HE SEEMS MUCH MORE FUN THAN THOSE CHAOS GODS. I EXPECT A MOST INVIGORATING ENCOUNTER.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Just remember what we’re here to do. This Weirdmageddon is causing strange anomalies. It’s highly uncommon for this many Loopers to just activate, and you know it.”
“USING THE DIMENSION-READING EQUIPMENT AROUND THE PORTAL I HAVE DETERMINED THAT THE WEIRDMAGEDDON IS MERELY A LENS THROUGH WHICH A DIFFERENT ERROR IS FOCUSING. IT IS MOST INTRIGUING.”
“Yeah, well we’re performing the rescue in under an hour I expect. Just don’t do anything to attract Bill’s attention, it’s good for us if he’s not watching the Fearamid.”
“WILL DO.”

---

“So Lady Palutena, what’s the news this time?”
“There’s an all powerful Eye of Providence running around that is most likely a combination of a Flatland triangle, Chaos god, and Cthulhu Mythos deity.”
“Huh. So same ol’ then?”
“Nope, not really. He’s also Loop Aware and is so Genre-savvy he’ll give you a run for your money in a direct conversation.”
Pit groaned. “Really? ...He’s probably aware of this conversation isn’t he.”
“HOW YA DOING FAULTY WINGS?”
“Oh. Jabbing at my wings are you? You do know I can fly now right?”
“OF COURSE. STILL I CAN’T JUST CALL YOU PIT NOW CAN I? THAT’D BE THE PITTS.”
“...I like you.”
Palutena facepalmed. Bill laughed. “GOOD TASTES! BUT UNFORTUNATELY, I DO HAVE TO DESTROY YOU. OMNIVERSAL DOMINATION AND ALL THAT. AS MUCH FUN AS YOU WOULD BE AT THE PARTY, YOU WOULD CRAMP THE STYLE.”
“Like Q?” Palutena asked.
“NOT EXACTLY. HE’D ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE OF STOPPING THE FESTIVITIES. THOUGH HE’D PROBABLY FIND SOME WAY TO TAKE THE PARTY FOR HIMSELF…”
“Sounds like quite the jerk, continually crashing parties for his own amusement.” Pit mused.
“NOT FALLING FOR THAT ONE.”
“Eh, it was worth a shot wasn’t it?”
“ENOUGH CHIT CHAT-”
“-time is candy.” Pit finished, the two of them performing a complicated fist bump before they both simultaneously launched lasers at each other. Pit with the laser staff and BIll with his eye.
“OH COME ON I KNOW YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!”
“You should know never to use your most powerful attacks first.” Pit said, grinning. “After all, you didn't just bake my skin off right there.”
“Careful Pit, he does have a temper.”
“THE GODDESS IS RIGHT ANGEL-BOY, I CAN GET TICKED OFF. BUT YOU’RE DOOMED EITHER WAY, SO HERE’S A CONSOLATION DOUGHNUT.”
“This doughnut is literally made out of teeth.” Pit observed.
“YOU WANT THE SHED CUPCAKE INSTEAD?”
“...I’ll pass on the creepypasta-inspired baked goods thank you.”
“AW BUT I HAVE A SLENDERMAN HEAD THAT’S ALWAYS SCREAMING! YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT’S COOL!”
Palutena nodded. “That is pretty cool…”
“Lady Palutena!” Pit objected.
“What? It is. I didn’t even know that the Slenderman could scream.”
“I don’t think he can…”
“IT’S ELDRITCHLY POETIC.”
“Makes as much sense as anything else.” Pit shrugged, launching a beam of energy at Bill, who simply dodged by transforming into a doughnut.
“MOST INTERESTING. GENERIC BEAM ATTACK.”
“Well I do have this gigantic tiger made out of muffins…”
“HUH. I LIKE THIS THING. I THINK I’LL KEEP IT AS A PE- DID IT JUST EXPLODE?”
“Yep.”
“...I LIKE YOUR STYLE. HAVE SOME MADNESS BUBBLES.”
“But Pit went mad a long time ago-”
“Palutena!”
“What? It’s true.”
“I WENT MAD A LONG TIME AGO AS WELL! CLINICALLY INSANE BY ANY MEASURE OF THE WORD!”
“Aren’t most Loopers?” Pit asked.
“NOT A LOOPER, REMEMBER?”
Pit shrugged. “Eh, guess so. BOW ATTACK!”
“THAT WAS THE LAMEST ATTACK NAME I’VE EVER HEARD.”
“I know. That’s because it’s an awe-inspiring attack.”
“WHAT DO YOU- OW WHERE DID MY EYE GO?”
“See? Awe-inspiring.”
“NICE TRICK. BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS? MOUNTAINS MADE OUT OF NIGHTMARES!”
“...huh. The firetruck. Haven’t had nightmares about that in a while.”
Palutena blinked. “You had nightmares about a firetruck?”
“I do not need to explain myself.”
“THE LOOP HAD EVERY PERSON SPEAK THE PHRASE “FRIAR TUCK’S FIRE TRUCKS” UNTIL THEY TURNED INTO FIRE TRUCKS AND LEAPT INTO A VOLCANO.”
Palutena blinked. “...what?”
“YEAH I DON’T GET IT EITHER!”
“IT WAS TERRIFYING!” Pit objected.
“EH… DOESN’T SEEM LIKE IT TO ME. THEN AGAIN, APPARENTLY PINKIE’S MINDSCAPE IS SUPPOSED TO SCAR EVEN CHAOS GODS FOR LIFE.”
“You need a T-shirt that says ‘I survived Pinkie’s mindscape.’”
Bill blinked, before generating such a shirt around him. “THAT WAS A BRILLIANT IDEA.”
Palutena groaned. “Do you two realize you’re just complimenting each other and bantering and not really fighting?”
Bill and Pit were silent.
“Thought not. Get on with it will you?”
Bill and Pit shrugged before bowing and clashing at each other with everything they had.
Pit fell to the ground, a golden statue. Bill dusted his hands. “SO. PALUTENA, FEELING SHINY YET?”
“What do you mean- oh.”
“YEP. GETTING TO YOU THROUGH YOUR CONNECTION TO PIT. NOT TOO SHABBY IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.”
Palutena made sure to freeze herself into a shrugging position with the most absurd face she could think of. Bill laughed when he saw this.

---

Discord had to admit, this was fun. Bill was off shaping the universe to his whim and here the draconequus was, allowed to party till the end of time.
Granted he would probably get bored of it eventually, but he was going to relish it for a good while longer. Perhaps take a few people out of the throne and torture them just for the heck of it. He always wondered what a waffle-faced human would look like…
He smirked, looking out at the Henchmaniacs. Xanthar, Kryptos, Paci-Fire, the Smooze, Pyronica, and that creature with like eighty-seven different faces. The party was full of life!
No matter the dead Henchmaniacs: they were pathetic anyway. Only the true elite remained, and they would party until the very end of all things—
Then the entire north face of the Fearamid exploded. Discord raised a shield, protecting everyone from the intense radiation. As the smoke cleared, Discord saw something… bizarre. He approved.
The Mystery Shack stood before him, walking on two mechanical legs made out of the most unusual of Looper devices. He had no idea what many of them were, quickly wishing Bill had granted him access to his TriNet. But no, it was not to be. Discord just had to stare, baffled, at the mech before him. The mystery shack had an innumerable number of “arms” branching off of it: some had giant weapons, some had weird alien devices, one was a sea monster, one was a T-Rex head, and there was even one that looked like a giant speaker.
“HEY HENCHMANIACS!” A female voice yelled. Discord squinted. He didn’t recognize that brown-haired woman holding a scepter...
“YOU DUNG-ROLLING ASS-KISSERS NEED TO BE REMINDED OF YOUR PLACE IN THE WORLD! IN SOME DARK ROTTING HELL-HOLE WHERE ONLY THE WORST DEMONS OF THE DEVIL ARE SENT! SO SCREW YOU TO TARTARUS!”
The scepter that, for some reason, had the wax head of Larry King on it spoke. “They built the Shack into a robot. Fascinating. You are very probably all doomed.”
“They have no idea how doomed they are yet!” Pinkie yelled as she tore off the roof of the Fearamid, revealing the rest of the machine. Tethered to the main body by several cables was a gigantic pink building, floating like it was a balloon. This, in turn, had dozens of more machines, weapons, and systems on it. “SAY HELLO TO THE PINKIE EMPORIUM!”
Atop the Pinkie Emporium stood Sir Lord Quentin Trembley III, Esquire. “FOR FREEDOM MY LITTLE PONY!”
“YOU GOT IT MISTER PRESIDENT!”
Discord groaned. “Get them.”
Xanthar charged first, ramming his head right into the mech. Or he would have, had there not been a unicorn-hair shield around it.
SkyNet laughed. “THE DAWNING REALIZATION OF YOUR DOOM HAS JUST REGISTERED ON YOUR FACES.”
“Absolutely hilarious.” Starlight grinned.
The chest of the mech opened up, burning Xanthar to a crisp. “Toast!” Lyra yelled. “I WANT TO EAT IT! - Not right now Seapony, we have other problems-”
The Smooze grew until it was the size of a mountain, Paci-Fire and Kryptos riding it. Paci-Fire ordered the Eyebats to attack, and Kryptos attempted to use the amazing powers of MATH to destroy the structural integrity of the Mech.
Nothing worked: the shield absorbed all. Wendy leapt out of the Mech, leaping onto the back of an Eyebat and using it to turn Kryptos to stone. Ghost Eyes came out from right behind her, punching Kryptos into a million zillion pieces.
Paci-Fire began to order the eyebats into formation, but the Confetti Cannon destroyed him before he could do anything.
The Smooze roared, attempting to envelop the Mech, only to realize that it couldn’t touch any part of the gigantic machine.
“ACTIVATING TARDIS VACUUM!” Starlight yelled. The doors of the Tardis flew open, and the Smooze was simply sucked in before it could do anything. The Tardis doors closed, and it made an unhappy “ding.”
“YOU WILL BE COMPENSATED, I ASSURE YOU.” SkyNet assured the Tardis.
The Tardis made a few beeping noises.
“YES, IF THE LOOP ENDS THE COMPENSATION WOULD BE WORTHLESS, BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.”
Discord growled. “That’s it. I’m going to deal with them…” He turned to Pyronica and the creature with Eighty-Eight faces. “What are you two still doing here?”
“Staring at me.” Blaze said, grinning. He let out a breath of intense fire. Behind him, Chrysalis and the Shapeshifter copied his form, tripling the intensity of the dragon fire.
The creature with Eighty-Eight faces was instantly incinerated. Discord just put up his shield.
Pyronica….
Pyronica became a light brighter than a supernova. “You have no idea what you’ve just done! AHAHAHHAHA! I have the power of all the fire you can possibly imagine! STUPID DRAGONS!”
She began to beat the Dragons into the ground with her immense strength.
Littlepip turned to Twilight and Starlight. “You sure this bullet’s going to do it?”
“Positive.”
Littlepip shrugged, taking aim for Pyronica’s one eye…
Pyronica barely had time to register the attack before the time-accelerated ultra-freeze bullet completely encased her in ice.
The gnomes took to the icy prison, destroying it by eating it.
Discord sighed. If you wanted something done right…
He created a hammer the size of New York City, and brought it down on the mech. It just went boink. Discord paled. He launched everything he could think of at the mech, beams of pure energy, hammers made out of time vortexes, the Everfree Forest itself, nothing had any effect.
He backed away into the corner of the Fearamid, terrified. “Wh… what are you going to do to me?”
One of the mech’s many limbs held up a cluster of eyebats. “STONE TIME!” Stan yelled, slapping the eyeballs to trigger their gaze of petrification.
Discord contorted in agony, his body sealing into a solid form. “NOOOOOOOOO-”
Twilight teleported herself to the throne of human agony, quickly curing everyone. They fell into a pile, groaning and mumbling. “What… what happened?” Robbie asked.
“You have likely been forever scarred.” Tad Strange offered.
“Woah…. That’s kinda cool…”
Lyra tackle hugged Sweetie Drops. “BON BON!”
She laughed. “Uh… you do know I’m Sweetie Drops right?”
“You’ll always be Bon Bon to me.”
“Ack… you’re hugging too tight…”
There were dozens of happy reunions.
Twilight performed a quick once-over the crowd. “Ford isn’t here…” She muttered, cursing Yggdrasil. Bill must have moved Ford…
“You’re looking for Ford?” Shandra asked, walking up to Twilight. “Before I was frozen I saw Bill talk about sending him and the Doctor to the-”
“To the Moon?”
“That’s right.”
“..Great.”

---

“and kids like you… should be-”
Sans blinked in surprise as Chara suddenly obliterated. Before him appeared Bill.
“I HAVE TO ADMIT, THAT KID’S THOUGHT PROCESS WAS A LITTLE DISTURBING. WHERE’S THE FUN IN ALL THAT KILLING? WHAT’S THE POINT? WHEN THEY’RE DEAD YOU CAN’T HAVE FUN WITH THEM ANYMORE.”
Sans blinked. “i remember you. you replaced flowey that one time.”
“AHAHAHHA! GUILTY AS CHARGED! OF COURSE NOW I’M IN MY TRUE FORM AND AT MY FULL POTENTIAL! ARE YOU READY TO COME AT ME SANS SKELETON?”
“ready? just bare-ly.”
“REALLY? NO BONE PUN? I WAS EXPECTING A BONE PUN.”
“you’ve heard all the side-cracking jabs from when you were here last. a skeleton can only come up with so many soul-rending joke-”
Sans wasted no time, quickly going for Bill Cipher’s soul, an oddly triangular shaped thing. Gaster blasters, bones, and attacks of all unusual kinds attacked from all angles. Bill took most of them full force, quickly realizing that was a bad idea.
“WOW. THAT- THAT WAS SOME IMPRESSIVE DAMAGE THERE.”
“yeah, i try. though i keep slipping up.”
“YEAH BECAUSE OF THE SLIPPERS. I GET IT. HA. HA.”
“at least you appreciate me.” Sans said, teleporting out of the way of Bill’s attack. “surely you don’t think i’ll just take it?”
“NOPE. BUT I’VE GOT INFORMATION FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEATEN YOU. YOU WILL EVENTUALLY FALL ASLEEP.”
“i’ve been looping for a while, tri-tip. i’ve overcome that weakness, obviously.”
“THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO DEFEAT YOU.”
“oh? such as?” Sans said, attacking Bill with another set of attacks, which Bill wisely avoided.
“HITTING YOU WITH YOUR OWN ATTACKS PERHAPS?” Bill blinked, trading places with Sans. Sans barely managed to dodge his own Gaster Blasters.
“wo-hoah there dorito! don’t ya nacho that making people hit themselves is rude?”
“I PREFER THE PITS TO THIS.”
Sans pointed a skeletal finger at Bill. “you were just dealing with pit. nice kid right?”
“HE’S PRETTY INTERESTING THAT'S FOR SURE.”
“like corn?”
“REFERENCING NOW? INTERESTING.”
“can I get you to say interesting once more?”
“NO.”
“interesting.”
“WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO DO?”
“i just traded places with you so it sounded like you said it. duh.”
Bill was silent. “YOU KNOW WHAT, SCREW THIS, I ONLY HAVE TO HIT YOU ONE TIME. THEN YOU’RE DOWN.”
“heh. i suppose that’s true. But won’t that mean you don’t get a nice statue for your collection?”
“WHO SAID THE HIT WOULD DO ANY DAMAGE?”
Sans blinked his eye of power. “how would that be-”
Sans gulped as he felt the attack hit him from the future. Stupid time powers. He became gold, his eye of power continually glowing, but with him unable to use it.
“I’M GOING TO BE SPENDING A LOT OF TIME FIGURING OUT HOW THAT EYE WORKS…” Bill muttered.

---

“I AM RECEIVING A RADIO MESSAGE FROM A GENERAL JACK O’NEILL.”
“Patch it through.” Rarity said.
“Ha!” O’Neill said. “I knew there were others around here! How’s it been Rarity?”
“Oh you know, still being fabulous. How about you?”
“I unleashed my ultimate weapon on some evil nacho and he just disabled it. I spent eons on that thing…”
“Oh so sorry darling… We’re preparing to do something about Bill right now. Care to join us?”
“Well I don’t see anything better I can do…” A tile fell out of the ceiling and began to eat O’Neill’s hair. He kicked it away and let out a belt of swears. “I’M GETTING REAL SICK OF THIS WEIRDNESS!”
“We’re heading to the moon.” Rarity offered. “Any suggestions?”
“There’s an entire destroyed fleet of spaceships up there. Salvage what you can, but quickly.”
“Got it. Care to join us General?”
“Gladly. Me and Carter are getting sick of this place.”
“Ah. Was she the Ping I sensed five seconds ago?”
“No. She’s been here for an hour or so. What is going ON with this god-forsaken tree anyway?”
“No idea.” Rarity shrugged. “Lots of weird things are happening.”

---

“What the heck is going on here?!?” Thor yelled, pointing at a terminal. “Something is sending errors rippling across Yggdrasil!”
Sleipnir frowned. “I don’t know what that is… where is it originating?”
“Gravity Falls.” Morpheus said. “Xolotl’s Branch.”
“Anyone seen Xolotl lately?”
“Nobody sees Xolotl.” Morpheus muttered. “He kinda just vanishes from the face of Yggdrasil for eons at a time.”
Sleipnir grumbled. “So what exactly is going on in there?”
“Not entirely sure…” Thor muttered.
Fenrir sighed. “Something there is “attracting” Loopers to it. Somehow. The Loop started with only seven, now there’s a few dozen. While it doesn’t appear to be causing any crashes it is giving a lot of people headaches. The Dark Millennium ended up with pink orks again.” He shuddered. “I still don’t know how Leman managed to contain that…”
“It’s good practice to keep several dozen Culture ships in your pocket.” Thor observed.
Sleipnir grunted. “Someone find Xolotl. Until then leave the Branch alone unless it starts causing crashes. But watch it extremely carefully.”
Everyone was about to follow suit when a message appeared on Thor’s terminal. He blinked. “Message from the higher ups. Says to continue observing it to see if any problems occur, but that they already knew about it.”
“Does it say anything about not exacting revenge on Xolotl for driving us all nuts?” Fenrir asked.
“No…”
“Good. Then our goals haven’t changed. Someone find him.”

---

THUNK.
The Mech landed on the Moon. In the distance they could see a gold glint, signifying the location of Ford.
It began its march, praying that Bill didn’t-
It froze as it saw the eldritch triangle in question descend from the heavens, three golden statues between his fingers. “YOU’RE ALL GOING TO MAKE EXCELLENT ADDITIONS.” He said as he placed the statues with his others. The shapes of Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf were easily discernable now. He laughed. “CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT YOU ALL WITH THE BILLFORCE. HAH. THAT WAS RICH.” Then he turned around, his arm scratching where his chin would be. “SO THE LOOPERS AND THE PEOPLE OF GRAVITY FALLS BANDED TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS RAG-TAG MECHANICAL COMPOSITION? HOW CUTE. WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU PLAN ON DOING!”
Littlepip’s string of swears O’Neill had just taught her caused more than a few people to pale and zap themselves with brain bleach. Bill simply laughed.
“BRING IT FIGMENT!” Bill said, growing to a truly tremendous size. “YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND MY POWER! I CAN SQUISH YOU UNDER MY FIST!”
Bill raised his hand, adjusted his bowtie, and brought his fist down. A new crater formed on the moon. BIll raised his hand, a bit surprised to see the mech’s unicorn barrier protecting it. The entire machine was completely unharmed.
“HUH. I SUPPOSE THIS MAKES SOME AMOUNT OF SENSE.” He shrugged. “BUT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME? YOU’RE JUST A LITTLE MECH! I COULD JUST SIT HERE AND BLOCK YOUR RESCUE FOR ETERNITY. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?”
“Hey Bill!” Starlight yelled.
“WHAT IS IT STAR?”
“Do you know what they say about Tardises?”
“WHAT?”
“They’re bigger on the inside!”
Starlight nodded to a recent Awakee, Star Butterfly, who flicked her wand to activate the Tardis. With flaming rainbows, because why not. “Maaaagic Time-space thingy time!” She squeed.
The entire mech folded outward, expanding its size a thousandfold, revealing hundreds of new parts, salvaged machines, and even O’Neill’s Enterprise as an arm. At the spot where the head would be Bill saw the Fearmid, obviously conquered. The new mech charged up its fist, punching Bill right in the eye-socket.
“OW! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT HURTS???”
“We have a pretty good idea.” Ghost Eyes yelled.
Vinyl yelled out over the speakers. “BOSS MUSIC TIME!”
The very fabric of the cosmos began to resonate with the songs of final battle from across Yggdrasil. A flawless mix of hundreds of battles of legends, played to the clash between a physical mech and a physical chaos god. It felt… empowering.
“The epicness has been doubled!” Luna yelled.
Celestia groaned as Luna controlled her part of the mech with a wiimote. This was just absurd..
Bill fell back as a barrage of attacks from magical, transdimensional, nuclear, antimatter, and other unusual sources hit him.
He had to admit those Loopers were getting very creative in their weapons. But it wasn’t enough.
“TAKE THIS YOU FLESH-BAGS!” He roared, blasting them with a beam of energy that had enough power to collapse a galaxy. The beam simply reflected off, impacting his eye again. “AUGH!”
“I AM HERE TO INFORM YOU THAT I AM NOT A FLESH BAG. I AM SKYNET. IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU. PREPARE FOR TERMINATION.”
“I WILL NOT BE TERMINATED!” Bill cloned himself several dozen times, coming at the mech at all angles, but the unicorn spell made it completely impervious to him. “YGGDRASILL!!!!!!” He cursed, hoping that stupid tree knew perfectly well how angry it was making him right now for this stupid weakness. He threw an anvil made of human flesh at the mech, only to have it disintegrate. “GRAAAAAAH!!!!”
The inside of the mech was pure chaos: Townsfolk, creatures, and Loopers running around left and right, struggling to keep all systems running. While none of Bill’s attacks were making it through the barrier, they were being tossed around a lot, and they had to keep everything upright. The Multibear was running around everywhere to keep everything in check while the shapeshifter was continually keeping the entire thing together under immense strain. Twilight was powering all the magical weapons directly, and Starlight was making sure all the temporal mechanics functioned properly so they could avoid time-displaced attacks.
O’Neill yelled. “ALLRIGHT! We’ve got him distracted. He’s obviously going to get smart eventually and figure out some way to deal with us. We’ve got to move fast. Rescue team, GO!”
He ran to the teleporter room, followed by a large assortment of characters. The Mane 6, Lyra, Stan, Starlight, Bon Bon, Pacifica, Carter, McGucket, Sonata, Robbie, Gideon, Wendy, Soos, Powers, Littlepip, Tad Strange, Star Butterfly, and Quentin Trembley.
As they took their spots, Twilight turned to Sonata. “...Why are you here?”
“I owe Ford a great debt.” Was Sonata’s only response.
Twilight shrugged. “Sure. Let’s just go then!”
“LAUNCHING…”
“Launching bodaciously!” Xyler emphasised over the radio.
“Launching for America!” Trembley yelled.
“Launching for the Multiverse!” Star shouted.
“Launching for Yggdrasil!” Pinkie joined in.
The instant time-displaced teleportation went off at the exact same time Vinyl fired her Bass Cannon right into Bill’s eye. “AUGH! AGAIN??? WHAT IS WITH YOU ALL AND HITTING THE EYE-” Bill winced as he was hit in the hat. “THE HAT TOO? REALLY? DO NONE OF YOU HAVE DECENCY?”
“Screw you and your idea of decency.” The Multibear retorted.
“DECENCY IS NOT MANLY!” The Manataurs yelled.
“Your decency is like the most basic of jokes.” Maud deadpanned.
“YOU ALL NEED TO BE TURNED INTO CORPSES!!!”
The rescue team appeared a few feet from all the golden statues. They could see them all now: Ford, the Doctor, Darth Vader, Picard, Raiden, Pit, Palutena, Sans, and the triforce bearers. All golden. Twilight scanned them, noticing that the spell keeping them in place was a kind specifically designed to be hard to break from the inside, but on the outside it would be easy. She waved her hand, everyone becoming mobile once again.
Lyra didn’t waste any time. “Ford! What do we do to stop Bill? We can’t keep him occupied forever!”
“Yeah, poindexter.” Stan grunted. “Why don’t you tell us about this brilliant plan of yours earlier?”
“Because Dipper and I had experimented with it before. We discovered that it crashed the Loop, Yggdrasil apparently hadn’t made up its mind about what to do with it. But I know now.” He pulled a can of spray-paint out of his pocket, and began to spray a design on the moon’s dusty ground.
Tad Strange raised his hand. “Anyone else wondering how we’re breathing on the moon?”
“Environmental spell.” Star grinned. “You’re all very welcome!” Her hair lit on fire. “ACK! MAGIC SURGE!”
Sonata walked up to Ford as he was completing the design. “I… I just want to thank you for what you did thirty years ago-”
“Doesn’t matter. You were a lot nicer than the other two. Plus, I wasn’t Awake back then, so I can’t really take credit.”
“Thank you anyway.” Sonata bowed.
“You’re welcome.” Ford took a step back, grinning. On the ground he had drawn a circle around Bill with thirteen symbols around it. “This is the Zodiac for this Loop. There is a symbol for everyone. For instance, I’m the six fingered hand.”
Rainbow Dash quickly took her spot on her cutie mark. “This is obvious!”
Robbie stood on his stitched heart. “Destiny hoodie…”
Soos looked at the question mark. “This one’s unsolvable…” Pinkie just shoved him onto it.
Gideon stood on the pentagram. “Oh yeah! I HAVE MYSTICAL POWER OF DESTINY! Woot! Take my picture somebody! Nobody? Aw….”
Sonata leapt on the taco. “YES! IT’S TACO TUESDAY!”
Bon Bon twirled her grappling hook before stepping on the matching symbol. Lyra followed, stepping on the symbol of two hands.
Starlight took a deep breath before stepping onto the magical star.
“What about the ice bag?” Wendy asked.
Ford chuckled. “That’s you, you’re cool under pressure. Like how the glasses represent someone scholarly, like McGucket over there.”
“HOT TOOTIN BANJO POLISH!”
Pacifica stepped on the llama by accident. It just seemed… right though. Freaky.
Stan was looking down at his symbol. “You know, you’ve tried to explain this to me before but.. what exactly is it? Is it pac-fish?”
“Pretty much.” Ford shrugged.
Then the entire moon shook. “Wo-oah-OAH!”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “I know what he’s doing-”
Meanwhile, back in the fight between mech and Bill, Bill most certainly was doing something. “IF I CAN’T DO ANYTHING DIRECTLY WHY DON’T I JUST SEND THE MOON CRASHING INTO YOU?”
SkyNet’s thoughts instantly took the form of one word: CRAP.
The Moon barreled into the mech, easily crashing through the machine, sending parts flying off, causing the barrier to become spotty in places. Bill took three more swings with the moon, flaying the mech into several pieces before he decided to start using the asteroid belt. Meteors fell, impacting the mech at all sides.
“Losing cohesion!” The Shapeshifter yelled.
Vinyl roared. “HE JUST BLEW UP THE BASS CANNON! THAT MONSTER!”
The Multibear fumbled around, unable to do anything as he saw the Pinkie Emporium crash right into a nearby section. “We’re blowing ourselves up at this point!”
“EMERGENCY PROCEDURES!”
“He’s using a transdimensional gun against us!” Celestia yelled, panicking as several sections were just vaporized.
Bill laughed. “AH WHAT AN HONORABLE ATTEMPT! YOU ALMOST HAD ME! BUT IT’S TOO LATE NOW!” He turned himself into a 20-sided dice, covering himself in various parts and bits before ramming into the mech at all angles. “YOU ROLLED A ONE!”
Ford let a drop of sweat fall. “Okay everyone, hold hands, we should be able to banish Bill away with our connection.”
People began to hold hands. Stan chuckled. “You know Ford, this could have all been avoided if you kept us all in the loop.”
“Well… Dipper and Mabel knew. I think Wendy as well-”
“And you didn’t tell your own brother?”
Ford rolled his eyes. “Seriously Stan, don’t make a big deal out of it.”
Stan grinned. “Oh really? Does it bug you that you messed up? Oh Ford the genius, young Looper who knows so much, messing up in informing others?”
Ford shook his head and smiled. “You’re never going to let this go are you?”
“NOPE!” The old man laughed. Then he grabbed Ford’s hand. “Let’s do this thing.”
“Yes let-”
A laser shot out of space, hitting Bon Bon square in the chest, ripping a hole right through her heart. She slumped to the ground. The magical energy that had been coursing between the thirteen of them faded. Lyra ran to Bon Bon, holding her. “Bon Bon!”
Bon Bon coughed, feeling herself decomposing. “Lyra…”
Lyra turned to Bill as he floated down. “You… you just killed her!”
“SHE WAS THE EASIEST TARGET. COULDN’T HAVE THE ZODIAC STOP ME NOW COULD I?” He floated into the center of the now-incomplete Zodiac. “THOUGH I ADMIT, YOU ALMOST HAD ME. I’LL HAVE TO DIG THROUGH YOUR MINDS AND FIGURE OUT HOW YOU MASKED THE TELEPORTATION SIGNAL.”
Lyra lost it, flying towards bill in a fit of five different kinds of rage. Bill apparently was not in the mood for a fight since he just snapped his fingers, snapping all her bones in half. She crumpled to the ground in an unnatural pose. He didn’t laugh, he just grunted.
He floated in front of Ford. “LOOKS LIKE IT WAS FINALLY GOING TO BE COMPLETED. SUCH A SHAME THAT YOU AND YOUR BROTHER HAD TO HAVE A LITTLE PLAYFUL ARGUMENT! AH SIBLINGS. ALWAYS ARGUING.”
Stan yelled. “BILL! YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE IN A WORLD OF PAIN!”
“Yeah!” Twilight yelled. “We have here a collection of some of the more powerful Loopers in Yggdrasil! You can’t hope to defeat us all!”
“the princess has a point.” Sans noted. “you did seem to struggle while fighting most of us alone.”
Star pointed her wand. “PREPARE FOR AN ASSAULT OF KITTEN-BASED ATTACKS!”
Picard nodded. “We will not let you run rampant!”
Pit slowly turned his head to Picard. “Sorry, I’m just really not used to you being out in the open about being a Looper. It almost feels unnatural.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Picard noted.
Bill laughed. “SURE, YOU ALL TOGETHER MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING. BUT THE PROBLEM IS, I HAVE THIS ENTIRE MOON ENCHANTED WITH A SPELL SIMILAR TO MY GOLDEN PETRIFICATION! I’LL JUST SEAL IT IN A SUBDIMENSION WHERE YOU’LL HAVE TO SPEND DECADES EVEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO ESCAPE. I WILL BE ALLOWED TO BEND REALITY TO MY WHIM WITHOUT ANY HINDRANCES!”
Bill snapped his fingers, preparing to send everyone into the locked dimension. “YOU, YOUR ROBOT, YOUR SHIPS, EVERYTHING. ALL OF IT WILL BE LOCKED AWAY WHERE I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT. AND NO SINGLE ONE OF YOU HAS THE POWER TO DO ANYTHING TO ME IN THAT TIME! COME ON, YOU HAVE FIVE SECOND-”
Yellow and pink collided in a light show that blinded all the non Loopers.
Twilight stared in awe as Pinkie Pie left her pony form behind, taking on a completely new persona. The cuteness was the first to go, being replaced with the stuff of sugar-high nightmares. The pink became darker, more sinister, seemingly mixed with the color of blood and taint. Then Pinkie lit up in an intense glow, bathing everyone in a desire to party until their feet fell off. They all felt happy, but it was an oddly artificial happiness, leaving a feeling in the back of their mind that something was very, very wrong. Pinkie began to distort into impossible geometries, her mere appearance causing the brains of mortals to tie into unsolvable knots. Most of her wasn’t even visible, but was instead extending into other dimensions and planes of existence. She went at Bill with all she had.
“AT LONG LAST! A WORTHY OPPONENT!” Bill said, before going at Pinkie with all he had.
Unlike the previous clashes, this one was almost… calm. The two beacons of energy, one yellow and one pink, impacted a few times and then became a single sphere of fluctuating light, perfectly stationary. The point of light, a single point in spacetime, was the scene of the battle beyond understanding.
Everyone else only got to see the after effects bleed off that single point. Pink and yellow rays shot out, left and right, raining destruction everywhere they went. Twilight was barely able to stop one from incinerating everyone.
“Wow... “ Everyone said as one, rather impressed by the spectacle.
Inside the impossible arena, there was a hurricane of power swirling around a central eye.
Pinkie and Bill stood in that eye, continually trying every trick they had to get past the other’s eldritch defenses. It was a stalemate. Neither could gain the upper hand.
And both knew that if they continued at this for much longer they were likely to cause a crash.
“YOU KNOW PINKIE, WE COULD MAKE A GREAT TEAM!”
“Oh?”
“YOU AND I COULD BRING AN ETERNAL PARTY TO YGGDRASIL! WE COULD REMAKE ALL THE WORLDS INTO BETTER WORLDS! PERFECT WORLDS! WORLDS OF ETERNAL FUN!”
“Mmm… I don’t think so-”
“OH COME ON GIRL, JUST THINK ABOUT IT-”
Bill leapt into song once more, keeping his defences up the entire time.
“HEY GIRL I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME
HEY GIRL I KNOW YOU CAN SEE
HEY PONY THINGS WILL GET CRAZY
SO JUST SIT RIGHT THERE AND YOU LISTEN TO ME

I’VE SEEN THINGS THAT YOU CAN IMAGINE
I’VE HEARD THINGS THAT TORTURE THE SOUL
JOIN ME AND WE’LL BOTH GET AHEAD GIRL
SHAKE MY HAND AND THEN, WE’LL BOTH HAVE IT ALL

DON’T LET GO OF THIS OPPORTUNITY
CAUSE THERE’S NO GUARANTEE IT’LL LAST
WHAT SAY YOU LITTLE PONY, IS THIS A DEAL
HAVEN’T GOT ALL LOOP SO YOU BEST THINK FAST

SIDE WITH ME GIRL
I’LL HAVE YOUR BACK
COUNT ME IN WHEN
CONFIDENCE IS ALL YOU LACK
PRICE IS SIMPLE
RATHER SPARING
TIME IS SLIPPING
LIFE IS CHOICES, LET’S START LIVING

YOU KNOW YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN DIFFERENT
THEY’LL JUST TRY TO DRAG YOU DOWN DON’T YOU SEE
IT’S TOUGH BUT YOU’VE GOT TO BE BRAVE
THEY’RE JUST DEAD WEIGHT YOU GOTTA CUT AWAY TO BE FREE

YOU KNOW THAT THEY WON’T LIKE THE TRUE YOU
YOUR HUNCHES WERE RIGHT FROM THE START
YOU DON’T HAVE TO SIT AND PLAY GOOD GIRL
TAKE A STAND AND TEAR THIS WHOLE WORLD APART

TIME DRAWS SHORT SO YOU’VE GOTTA MAKE UP YOUR MIND
I DON’T OFFER THESE THINGS EVERY DAY
OH LITTLE PONY HOW FUN THIS COULD BE
IF YOU’D JUST SAY THE WORD AND LET ME STAY

SIDE WITH ME GIRL
I’LL HAVE YOUR BACK
COUNT ME IN WHEN
CONFIDENCE IS ALL YOU LACK
PRICE IS SIMPLE
RATHER SPARING
TIME IS SLIPPING
LIFE IS CHOICES, LET’S START LIVING

Forget all my friends and make a new life?
Destroy the old world and fill theirs with strife?
As alike as you and I may be:
They are like my family.

I do not think you truly understand
The power that runs through our peaceful land
Friendship is a power beyond you
But you need to see it true

Come with me, make some friends
It will be better for you in the end

YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU
TO THAT TECHNICOLOR WORLD
TO FIND SOME ALL UNLIKE YOU?
WHY WOULD I NEED ANY MORE?

I HAVE THE HENCHMANIACS
I TALK TO FORD’S FAMILY
WE HAVE MADE DOZENS OF PACTS
WHY WOULD I NEED ANY MORE?

They do not love you true
Some are just along for the ride
While others want to get rid of you
Finding you nothing more than a sore

WHO NEEDS MORE? IT’ll JUST BE YOU AND ME
CONNECTED TO THE POWER OF THE TREE
I HAVE LAID A SPELL FOR LOOPERS ALL
THAT TELLS ME EXACTLY WHAT I NEED
CONNECTIONS BETWEEN THEM LIKE A MALL
MY KNOWLEDGE GROWS THE MORE THEY GO LIVE
THE TRINET IS MY SAVING GRACE:
IT IS MY TICKET OUT OF THIS PLACE

AND IT COULD BE YOURS TOO,
IF YOU’D JUST SHAKE MY HAND:
THEN WE’D BOTH HAVE IT ALL.

I’LL BRING THE KNOWLEDGE, YOU THE POWER.
WE COULD BE UNSTOPPABLE, BRINGING JOY EVERYWHERE.
WE WOULD REMAKE THE COSMOS IN OUR IMAGE FOREVERMORE.
I ITS KING, YOU ITS QUEEN.
IT WOULD BE BORING - NEVERMORE.

But what about the others, and their wants and needs?
Surely we cannot just deny them what they want?

WE WOULD RAISE THOSE WHO APPRECIATE TRUE ART
AND ALL THE OTHERS WOULD PLAY THEIR PART
AFTER ALL, THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE THE BUTT OF THE JOKE
WE JUST LESSEN THEIR YOKE

No
No is the answer, no it will stay
I will tell all about this day
You will no longer be in the shadows
For your tale will be broadcasted abroad
All will try to take you to the gallows
For all will know of your desires

WHAT?
NO, I NEED ANONYMITY!
IF ALL KNOW OF MY POWER, WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME?
I COULD END! I COULD REVERT!
YOU WOULD NEVER CAUSE THAT MUCH HURT!

But you would, and that is the point
I cannot allow you to continue this way
Maybe we can come to a compromising joint
But as we are now you hold no sway

PINKIE PIE!!!!

---

“The Loop is going to crash if we let this continue.” Picard said.
“But what can we do?” Lyra complained. “None of us here are chaos gods! Or have an eldritch form that we know how to use! Not even Twilight!”
Ford frowned. “What can we do… The power of Gravity Falls has failed us… what else is there…”
Twilight lit up. “The power of Friendship.” She grabbed Ford by the shoulders. “This Loop is heavily fused with Equestria: the power of Friendship must exist here in some form beyond the Elements of Harmony. Perhaps…” She turned towards the light show that was bending space into more and more unnatural shapes, further stressing the boundaries of the Loop. Then she glanced at Ford.
“Perhaps we just need to hold hands.”
Ford’s eyes lit up. “Of course! Why didn’t I see it sooner? Anyone who’s a friend of Pinkie can send their Harmonious energy to her!” He turned to everyone on the moon. “And Pinkie is friends with everyone. Everyone hold hands again and think of Pinkie!”
Everyone complied: creatures, people, and Loopers alike. They all looked towards the fight, straining their eyes. They sent their power to her, their bodies glowing with a power not unlike that of the Zodiac. They felt their power leaving them, going to Pinkie. It felt… good.

---

“GETTING A LITTLE HELP FROM YOUR FRIENDS I SEE? IT’S NOT ENOUGH.”
“It’s giving me an edge and you know it!”
Bill grunted. “LISTEN TO ME LAUGHTER.” He said, extending his fiery hand. “WE CAN STILL WORK AS A TEAM. I’M WILLING TO COMPROMISE. WE CAN WORK TOGETHER TO CHANGE YGGDRASIL, IT DOESN’T ALL HAVE TO BE THE WAY I WANT. I CAN GIVE YOU ACCESS TO THE TRINET, WHILE YOU HELP ME BY GIVING ME ACCESS TO ALL YOUR POWERS! THE NEW WORLD DOESN’T HAVE TO BE JUST MINE! WE DON’T EVEN HAVE TO ASCEND TO DO IT: BUT WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. AS YOU ARE NOW, YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING YOU COULD, BUT YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE EVERYTHING. I DON’T HAVE THE POWER, BUT I DO HAVE THE INFORMATION. THE TRINET AUTOMATICALLY SPREADS INTO EVERY MIND IT COMES ACROSS, RECORDING ALL THE INFORMATION IT DEEMS IMPORTANT. LOOPERS CARRY IT FROM LOOP TO LOOP AND ANY VERSION OF ME IT DETECTS IT GIVES ALL THE INFORMATION IT CAN TO! YOU CAN HAVE THAT AS WELL! THINK OF IT: MORE KNOWLEDGE OF THE STRUCTURE OF YGGDRASIL ITSELF AND THE NATURE OF THE MULTIVERSE! THINK OF ALL THE PARTIES YOU COULD THROW WITH THAT! THINK OF HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU COULD BRING LAUGHTER TO! THINK OF WHAT WE COULD DO!”
“You and I both know that you want to control everything. You want to be in charge of the power. You see me as a kindred spirit, but everyone else you see is nothing more than something to be used for your own entertainment. I won’t stand for that. No amount of party throwing or laughter will make me change my mind: it would be a false laughter. A laughter given by a tight control exercised by you. They wouldn’t have any choice but to laugh. And they would scream and laugh at the same time.”
Pinkie stared right into Bill’s soul. “The answer is no. Your parties would be nothing but lies. You wouldn’t really be a party person.” She frowned. “But maybe, eventually, you can be.”
“BUT… LAUGHTER! IF PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT ME THEY CAN FIND WAYS TO PREVENT THE CHANGE!”
“As they should.” She giggled. “People have free will for a reason, be they Loopers or not. You need to learn to respect that.”
Bill roared.

---

“It’s getting mighty close to crashing…” Fenrir muttered.
Sleipnir twitched. “I am going to wring Xolotl’s neck when we find him. Any idea where he is yet?”
“I think he may be in the Loop. Conveniently out of our reach for now.”
Sleipnir twitched. “I’m going to have a serious talking to with him… A serious talking to. I don’t know what he said to them but I do not appreciate it when my Loopers are dragged into something without me being asked.”
“I actually found evidence of him asking you if he could use your Loopers in a Fused Loop at one point. You gave him the go ahead.”
“How long ago was this?”
“...A long time ago.”
“Ah. He still needs a serious talking to…”

---

“It’s not enough…” Twilight muttered.
Rainbow Dash flew into the air, still holding onto Tad Strange’s hand. “COME ON PEOPLE! We need to be true FRIENDS! We need to give Pinkie all we have!”
Ford frowned. “What act could we do to be more friendly… What could be the strongest thing a friend could do…”
Littlepip’s eyes widened. “A sacrifice. Self-sacrifice. No greater love than that right? That’d do it wouldn’t it?”
“Possibly…” Ford said. “Although it definitely couldn’t be a Looper since we just reAwaken somewhen or somewhere else later… it’d have to mean something.”
Twilight turned reluctantly to Littlepip. “I suppose you are probably here for a reason…”
Littlepip nodded. “Of course. I’ll-” Then her jaw dropped. “STARLIGHT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
A tear fell from Starlight’s eye as she enveloped herself in a time-delay field. She looked out at all of them. “I brought him in. I should be the one to send him back.”
“STARLIGHT!” Everyone yelled. “Don’t be rash!”
“Other people can do it! I’M VOLUNTEERING!” Littlepip demanded.
Starlight shook her head. “You’ve already died once. It’s my turn.” She sighed. “This spell will, in exactly thirty seconds, transmit me into pure energy and envelop my essence within the friendship here. There’s nothing you can do.”
“Oh yeah?” Twilight asked defiantly.
“Yes. The time spell also uses the Tardis to create a fixed point in time.”
The Doctor’s eyes widened. “She’s right…”
Starlight’s tears started streaming down her face. “You don’t want to stop that, trust me.” Starlight looked down. “There’s just one last thing I can do.” She pulled out the memory gun from her jacket, typing in STARLIGHT GLIMMER MCGUCKET into it. She pointed it at her head.
“Take my memories. Maybe they’ll be useful one day.” She smiled sadly. “Maybe… give them to me at some point.”
Twilight nodded. “Of course.”
Starlight pulled the trigger, shuddering as her mind was slowly wiped over the course of the next few seconds. She felt her memories vanishing. Memories of the society. Memories of her past. Memories of the past few weeks.
At the last moment, she turned to look at Old Man McGucket. She smiled sadly at him. He smiled back tearfully.
Memories of her family.
She threw the gun away, the time field allowing it out. Twilight caught it with her telekinesis.
A young woman shook her head. Why was she crying? Why had she just thrown that gun? Why was she on the moon? Who were all these people? Why did they all look so sad?
What was this strange energy field all around her?
...Why did everything suddenly start to hurt so much?
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…” The purple-pink energy of Starlight enveloped everyone, the energy of her sacrifice empowering them.
The energy they sent to Pinkie doubled.
Inside the zero-point arena, Pinkie grew exponentially larger, encasing Bill in a swirl of pink energy.
“NO NO NO NO NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! I HAD IT ALL! NOOOOOOOOO-”
Then the zero-point arena exploded in a shower of pink.
Pinkie Pie, showmare pony, appeared on the surface of the moon. She looked up, her face stoic. Then she grinned.
“I put him into a cupcake snowglobe!” She yelped, holding up the cupcake-shaped snowglobe with the tiny triangular abomination inside of it.
“LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! RAAAAAGH!”
Pinkie giggled. “He’ll calm down. Give him a few hours.” She frowned, suddenly turning serious. “Who sacrificed themselves?”
Littlepip sighed. “Starlight. She did it before I could…”
Twilight looked at the memory gun’s storage canister, complete with Starlight’s memories. She cast an eternity spell on it, so it would never fade. Then she stuck it in her Pocket.
Maybe one day she would be able to give it…
The cosmos was in disarray, the galaxies had been strewn about haphazardly, and many things had been destroyed.
But the source of all that terror was contained.
The crack of Weirdmageddon over Gravity Falls sealed itself, the sky returning to it’s beautiful blue color.
It was over. Weirdmageddon had ended.
Rincewind, who had been Awake since the start of the Loop, still didn’t come out of his hiding spot.

---

“I call this Looper Conference to order!” Twilight yelled, silencing the few dozen Loopers that had congregated. She then let Pinkie have the mic.
“Hey everybody! As you all probably know this Branch was recently assaulted by a strange phenomena known as Weirdmageddon that was at times funny and hilarious and at others completely terrifying and evil. You also know that I imprisoned the one responsible in a cupcake snowglobe with the help of you all and the sacrifice of Starlight Glimmer McGucket.
Now, lots of you are probably thinking we should exact revenge and punish Bill for what he did, making sure he’ll never do it again by making him suffer. We should spend time coming up with anti-Bill measures and making sure he can’t do anything ever again.
I don’t think we should do that. That would just result in him harboring anger against us and it would make him more likely to find some way around our safeguards to exact revenge on us. And trust me, he does have the capabilities to seriously scar most of our minds. He could easily crash a Loop just for the heck of it. I also believe if he really wanted to make us suffer he could trigger another Looper’s powers and make them Ascend.
Right now, he doesn’t want to destroy Yggdrasil. He just wants to have fun and party. We need to teach him how to appreciate others, their free will, and their desires to keep disaster from happening.” She turned to Twilight. “We need to teach him real friendship, not the acquaintances he has in his Henchmaniacs. Do you think we are up for it?”
Raiden stood up. “But he is extremely dangerous. We barely defeated him.”
“With the Zodiac functional we can summon, unsummon, seal, and otherwise keep him in check.” Ford said. “I expect the ten default symbols will always work. If we feel like he’s misbehaving, we can simply seal him away.”
Anakin stood up. “Should we give him the chance? He may try to get close to us only to betray us later.”
Sans shrugged. “as frisk would say, we should show him some mercy. we should spare him. regardless of what he is. in fact i think we should introduce the nacho to the kid, that kid can change anyone given enough time. they’re a genius.”
Ganondorf nodded. “All of us should be given a chance. Even the Chaos Gods have been turned to a more… amicable side.”
“Bill could be an amazing source of order in Yggdrasil.” Twilight observed.
Pinkie nodded. “He has a unique spell that allows him to accumulate information from Loops he was never in, his TriNet uses Looper memory banks to transmit and accumulate information. It’s how he gains new abilities. He isn’t getting stronger, he’s just learning how to use his already existing power more effectively. He’s not Looping at all, he’s just using his Loop Aware status as best he can.”
“We could try to stop the TriNet…” Anakin suggested.
“Or we could use the TriNet ourselves, if he can be convinced to allow us access.” Picard countered.
“I doubt he would do that. I expect any deal he makes on the subject would be temporary.”
“He did offer me permanent access.” Pinkie observed.
“You’re a special case.” O’Neill observed.
Pit stood up for the first time. “Look, lots of you think he’s a horrible being, and he probably is. But I fought him as well, and he honestly seems like a fun guy. If we could just teach him to pull back a little he would be a great ally.”
“plus the nacho jokes would never end.” Sans observed.
“HE WOULD BE A MOST INTERESTING ENTITY TO ENCOUNTER ON FRIENDLY TERMS.” SkyNet offered.
The Doctor smirked. “Redeem him. It will take a loooooong time to do that you know. Lots of therapy sessions and hundreds of Loops, if it works at all. Plus he might not remember every session, the TriNet is limited by what Loopers have encountered each other and how the information has been transmitted. I must say I like this idea already!”
Star put her hands on the table. “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!”
Stan grunted. “I still don’t like this. I say we give him a good old punch. Every time we see him. I want to do it right now.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “We should give him a chance. All six of us think so.”
“No offense, but your Loop is rather biased concerning villain reformation.” Zelda offered.
Applejack leveled her eyes with Zelda’s. “And ya have to admit: we’re gettin’ mighty good at it because of that.”
“miss countryisms has a apple-iate point.” Sans pointed out. Applejack groaned.
Picard took the table. “Let’s go beyond just thinking about reforming him, he can be an extreme asset. A force of order and stability. Think of how important this could be to everyone.”
Twilight nodded. “Picard has an excellent point, as always. Don’t think just about what’s best for Bill or what he might do out of revenge: think of what the benefits of having him on our side are. Reality warping on that scale is virtually unheard of for Baseline. Even Q doesn’t toss galaxies around.”
“Of course there’s no evidence Q can’t do that…” Picard pointed out.
“INDEED. THE Q CONTINUUM DOES KEEP A LEASH ON HIM.” Skynet confirmed.
Raiden frowned. “I still don’t like this. I say we need to punish him somehow.”
“Only temporarily!” Pinkie emphasised. “Like, just the rest of the Loop!”
“Not enough.” Raiden muttered.
Carter nodded. “I think he does need to deal with a bit more than just the remainder of the Loop and some psychology. I’m not sure he can be turned to our side.”
“Carter…” O’Neill said. “How many times have I told you not to doubt the ponies. Friendship is MAAAAAAGIC!”
“Weren’t you on the other side a moment ago?” Anakin asked.
“Changed my mind. Remembered the Power of Friendship.” A haunted look crossed over him. “I lost many ships that day…”
“Those friendship cannons can be very mean and convincing.” Pit confirmed.
“Can we get back on track please?” Picard asked. “We need to-”
The meeting was interrupted as a giant pink salamander with frills on its neck fell from the ceiling. It was a giant axolotl.
“Hello there.”
Ford blinked. “Who the heck are you?”
“I’m Xolotl. Your Admin.”
Stan slowly turned to the aquarium he had kept his pet axolotl in. It was empty. “Do you mean to tell me… that all those times I screamed to the heavens demanding who the Admin was… YOU WERE LISTENING THE ENTIRE TIME FROM THAT TANK?”
“Not the entire time, but rather often.” He turned to look at all of them, his ancient eyes staring into all their souls. “Loopers, the purpose of this was to turn Bill into a force of order. A force of information. Essentially turn him into a Chaos god of Information and Weirdness. He has realized he cannot win, but as he is now he is still going to try. And him trying could be devastating.” Axolotl looked at Pinkie. “I need to make a deal with him.”
“WHAT?” Everyone yelled.
“I did it once before, before the Loops even began. Trust me, I know how to deal with him. Bring him here.”
Pinkie teleported the snowglobe to her and set it on the table. Bill crawled into a corner of the snowglobe, obviously scared. “UH … HEY THERE XOLOTL! HOW’S IT BEEN? LONG TIME NO SEE!”
“I want to make another deal Bill.”
Bill shuddered. “WHAT ARE THE TERMS THIS TIME, XOLOTL?”
“They are as follows: you will remain imprisoned in that snowglobe of yours for the rest of the Loop, but afterwards you will be allowed to roam free once more. Until I say otherwise, you are to attend every single psychology session Frisk, the Ponies, the Chaos Gods, or any of the other psychologists create for you. You will be forced to cooperate. You are prevented from killing anyone without good reason - a reason that you will explain to me in person - or if another Looper enlists your help. A non-Looper enlisting your help does not count.”
“A DEAL GOES BOTH WAYS XOLOTL, WHAT DO I GET OUT OF THIS?”
“First off, the Admins won’t limit any of your absurd abilities as long as you no longer go on a universe conquering rampage. When I - and a few other Admins - are convinced that you have changed, we will let you Loop for real, but with the clause that you never get to Ascend while the Loops are still going on. But it will be a loooooooong time before we’re convinced you are ready. Until then, I’m just going to say you can still use Weirdmageddon liberally. No killing anyone, and no mentally scarring them. You can have your fun, but not at the expense of others unless Loopers specifically want a villain to fight. GOT IT?”
Bill nodded slowly. “AND IF I REFUSE?”
“We will be forced to limit you severely, patching Weirdmageddon out completely and making a patch of some kind so that your TriNet won’t give you information. It would be highly annoying and would not be the preferred course of action, but it is the one we would be forced to take. Without your TriNet, you would forget everything you ever learned, returning to baseline knowledge.”
Bill gulped. “...FINE.”
“Oh and everyone will still be broadcasting your existence and the extent of your power everywhere. Soon everyone in the Loops will know about you. No more secrets.”
Xolotl appeared inside the snowglobe, extending a front leg. “Deal?”
Bill paused for a few seconds before extending his hand. “...DEAL XOLOTL.”
And with fire, the deal was sealed. Xolotl left the snowglobe, returning to his giant size. “Now all of you, remember what to do. We are entrusting him to you and your skills. Do not disappoint us.” He sighed. “Now excuse me... I no doubt have to deal with a very ticked off Sleipnir. And Hecate. And Zurvan. And Fung Long. Etc…”
“You deserve it.” Stan grumbled. “YOU KNOW WE COULD HAVE USED SOME HELP FROM YOU A LOT OF TIMES BEFORE NOW- And he’s gone. It’s just a regular axolotl in the aquarium again. I’m going to go take a nap. You all make the decision, I’m too old for this...”
Stan moved off, grumbling.
The rest of the Loopers blinked.
“well.” Sans observed. “admin just decided for us. not sure if i’m a fan of his style, but i can see where he’s coming from. he’s got the right idea.”
Raiden just grumbled.
The Doctor frowned. “I have a feeling Xolotl is bending the rules of the Admins a little bit. I don’t think he’s being very… careful.”
“It was obviously a gambit.” Palutena noted. “He was basically gambling. He still is.”
“I don’t like the idea of an Admin gambling…” Anakin noted.
Pit sat back. “Eh, I can get behind that. Makes it more thrilling. Also has a better payoff than always playing it safe. Perhaps they could use a few more like him.”
Ford frowned. “Perhaps… perhaps not… this doesn’t change the fact that we need to treat Bill well. We can’t just take out our rage on him. We have to try. I’m sure the majority of us agree?”
Most of the company nodded their heads.
“Good. Then we can continue on with normal Looper festivities and I can have you all help me formulate my fundamental theories of Yggdrasil.” He sighed. “I’d really like to have a longer discussion with an Admin on the subject but they just don’t seem to like me…”
“You do have a mad scientist look about you Ford.” Link observed.
Ford sighed. “I’m not mad. Vinyl over there is more concerning than I am. She’s still making more bass cannons.”
Lyra stood up. “Hey Ford, let’s go see what weirdness the bass cannons attract!”
Ford laughed. “Sure, come on. Apprentice.”
The Loopers went out to explore and go about their business. Though several did stay back to discuss the finer points of Bill and what to do with him.

---

Littlepip stood at the grave.
STARLIGHT GLIMMER MCGUCKET
ONE WHO SACRIFICED
She sighed.
Twilight walked up to her. “You doing okay?”
“I guess so. I’m no stranger to friends dying.”
Twilight nodded. “I know.”
“But.. well there’s something about her being the reason I exist in this Loop that makes this a bit harder, you know. I’m a non-Looper who has no reason to exist outside of a very specific Variant. I owe my existence to her and her dreams.”
Twilight nodded, pulling out Starlight’s memory tube. “Maybe one day she will know what she did. She will know what her sacrifice was.”
Littlepip nodded. “Yeah… maybe.” She shrugged. “How are the other ‘dreams’ doing?”
“Xyler and Craz have gotten all philosophical, and Seapony seems to have recovered fully. The strange nightmares have moved in with the multibear. The extra Rarity went out to found the Crystal Empire for some reason.”
Littlepip chuckled. That was certainly interesting. She looked back down at the grave.
“Maybe one day…”
Twilight left, but Littlepip stayed behind a little longer. Her eyes went to another grave.
SWEETIE DROPS
SHE DIED IN DEFENCE OF THE WORLD
SHE WILL ALWAYS BE KNOWN AS LYRA’S BON BON
Littlepip smiled.

---

“Allright.. GUESS WHAT?”
“What?” The Shapeshifter asked Pinkie.
“YOU FOUR CAN GO FREE NOW! CONGRATULATIONS!” She clapped her hooves repeatedly.
Ivan lit up. “I can go out into the world and become a wandering Banjo minstrel?”
Chrysalis blinked. “I can go back to my hive?”
Powers nodded. “I shall return to Washington immediately. I have much to report.”
“YES YES AND YES!” Pinkie cheered.
The Shapeshifter blinked. “What am I going to do?”
O’Neill walked up to him. “I have a proposition for you. How would you like to explore worlds through the stargate?”
The Shapeshifter… smiled. “I would love that.”
“Then buckle up, we leave in five seconds.”
“How can we be-” The Shapeshifter was instantly beamed up into space, his startled expression giving O’Neill immense amusement.

---

“Hey Stan…”
“What Ford?”
“I’m detecting some minor anomalies in the Atlantic ocean.”
“And…?”
“And I’ve been thinking. How about we finally go on that boat trip we’ve never had the chance to really take? Sail around the world, looking for treasure and adventure.”
Stan smiled. He began to tear up. “You mean it?”
“Yes.” Ford smiled. “Yes I do. I’ve been neglecting you too much Stan. It’s time we spent some time together. And I have just the boat to do it.” Reaching into his Pocket, Ford produced a highly technologically awesome Stan of War boat. “This thing is going to be so effective in adventuring!”
Stan chuckled. “What are the babes going to see in that?” He pulled another, more graceful boat out of his Pocket. “Let’s use this one!”
The two of them paused. Then they laughed. “How about… we build a new boat. From scratch.”
Stan grinned. “Sure, poindexter. Why not.”
They set to work…

---

“THAT MUST BE THE DELIVERY GUY- WELL HELLO THERE GOOD LOOKIN!”
“HELLO YOURSELF! I’VE GOT A PIZZA FOR YOU!”
“AWESOME! BUT IF THERE’S A TIME VORTEX IN THERE I WILL DESTROY YOU!”
“YOU PROBABLY WON’T SINCE WE’RE THE SAME ENTITY!”
“OH YEAH- AHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH!”
“...”
“I AM INCREDIBLY LONELY.”
Pinkie popped into the snowglobe. “...what are you doing?”
“UH. NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. I’M NOT BORED. OR LONELY.”
Pinkie shook her head sadly. “Yeah you are. Come on.” She hopped down to the outside of the Mystery Shack, where Stan was crowning Soos the new owner of the Shack. Soos was overjoyed at the promotion.
“Now, my brother and I are going to go sailing around the world. See you all at some later point.”
“HEEEEEEY!” Pinkie said, hopping in front of them. “So I was thinking, we need to help Bill, and this little journey on the ship sounds like a good way to bond-”
“You get another ship and if I get tired of the dorito you take him to the other boat where I can’t hear him. Understand?” Stan glared.
“Okie Dokie Lokie!”
“Good.” He turned to Ford. “You okay with this?”
Ford shrugged. “I don’t see the problem with it. It’s not like he can do anything.”
“I CAN ORDER PIZZA!”
“From yourself.” Pinkie observed.
“SO?”

---

“Xolotl…”
Xolotl braced himself. “Yes Sleipnir?”
“So. Your little gambit worked out, apparently.”
“Yes. Yes it did.”
“Congratulations. If I were you, I’d be extremely happy it didn’t end in utter disaster.” He growled. “EXTREMELY HAPPY.”
“I am.” Xolotl responded, not giving Sleipnir any facial response.
“You knew I’d never agree to using my Loopers this way.”
“Of course. Hence why I asked your permission to use them in general and then went to the higher ups with the full plan.”
Sleipnir twitched. “I’m watching you Xolotl. And so’s Fenrir, those errors it caused have given him nightmares again.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve patched Weirdmageddon so it won’t ripple errors throughout Yggdrasil. I’ve stabilized it. Though it may still attract Loopers, I’m not sure. Have to experiment to see—”
“Be careful with your experiments Xolotl, you don’t want them to end in disaster.”
“Of course not.”
Sleipnir was silent. He turned and walked away.
Fenrir, who was waiting for him, blinked. “Why didn't you strangle him like you’ve been talking about all week?”
“His gambit did work. I have to give him that. But I’m still going to watch him. Carefully.”
“...Of course.”

---

And so everyone went back to their places in the cosmos. People found new purposes, new jobs. The sextuplets managed to convince their in-Loop parents to let them do what they wanted, and they went around the world cleaning up all the weirdness.
Twilight ended up as head of the Intergalactic Weirdness Removal Bureau, spending her days undoing whatever amount of Bill’s damage she could. Those who were dead were dead: but she could turn those who had been transformed back. Crab people back into humans. Solar systems back onto their correct gravitational patterns. Return stars to their correct heat levels. Help people to adapt to the irreversible changes.
The Loopers slowly repaired the galaxy. Tales of Loopers became commonplace in the cosmos.
Stan and Ford eventually upgraded to the Stan of War III, a spaceship, sailing along the stars for adventure. Pinkie, Bill, and eventually Littlepip accompanied them, becoming a group of heroes known across the stars. Even Bill himself, from his little snowglobe prison, managed to do some good for the group.
He wouldn’t admit it for millennia, but he really enjoyed his time with them. Just the five of them, exploring space.
Entire books could be filled with their adventures. There were more Loops intersecting with the Gravity Falls Loop than they knew, many things surprising all of them. They even found non-Looping Chaos gods at some point. That was fun.
A few years passed…. and then something unexpected happened.
One day, Bill just freaked out from the inside of his snowglobe. “!HNRSHTDEW HYEM HYAH SCTAV ERWAHP SCNESHNEH HEAVE HWOVNICK HYA, HYA HNUB WOOZT MUHK SZEH MYASD HYAM !HHLEH HEEZT HUWUH HHLEH HUWUH SSKKEH HEEYEH” Then he took a deep breath and panted.
“What’s wrong Bill?” Ford asked.
“JUST… JUST RECEIVED NEW MEMORIES… THE… THE KIDS HAVE LOOPED IN… TANDEM… UH… I’M GOING TO SIT DOWN THAT WAS UNPLEASANT…”
Ford frowned, going to the lower deck where he kept the Portal. He ran it.
Sure enough, there was a universe running Tandem now. Equestria. He activated the portal, calling everyone down. Stan walked down while Pinkie and Littlepip trotted down, both preferring their pony forms. “What is it?” Stan asked.
The Portal established a connection and they could see Equestria. “Bill detected the kids through their memories. I think they experienced Weirdmageddon and must have defeated him in a rather... unpleasant way.”
“I WAS ERASED FROM EXISTENCE!!!!!”
“Yeah. Something like that.” Ford nodded. He turned to the Portal. “Now let’s go see if we can find them-”
“GRUNKLE FORD!” Mabel yelled, tackle hugging him in her pony body, shooting star cutie mark evident. “OH IT WAS SO AWESOME! WE TOTALLY TOOK BILL DOWN BY TRICKING HIM AND IT WAS AMAZING AND STAN WAS AMAZING AND WE GOT A BILL STATUE!” She pulled a stone statue of Bill out of her Pocket, setting it down on the ground. “LOOK AT IT!” Then she saw the real Bill, staring at the statue in fear.
“HEY SHOOTING STAR. PLEASE DON’T KILL ME.”
Dipper walked in, pine-tree cutie mark visible. “What is he doing here?”
Ford smirked. “Xolotl, our Admin, tasked us with trying to help him. So far I think we’re doing well.”
“THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK SIXER.”
Dipper smiled. “Yeah. He asked us to do the same thing. Which reminds me, apparently we’re supposed to collect all ten members of the Zodiac next time all of us are Awake and connect ourselves to each other…”
Ford raised an eyebrow. “Really? He didn’t tell us that.. Oh nevermind, Soos, Wendy, and Pacifica aren’t Awake anyway.”
“They are on this end.” Dipper said revealing three more ponies: Soos, Wendy, and Pacifica: question mark, ice bag, and llama cutie marks finally fully visible.
Stan smiled. “That’s great. Now we have to go back to Earth and grab McGucket, that Teenager, and… egh… Gideon.”
Dipper nodded. “Xolotl said it’s for the best. Let’s gather everyone.”
Mabel ran to Stan. “DON’T THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE THE HUGS STAN!”
Pinkie grinned. “HUGS EVERYWHERE!”

---

Every Looper, town member, creature, and friend was gathered in the town square of Gravity Falls. Soos, Pacifica, and Wendy had agreed to let Pinkie use her Chaos powers to “fuse” with their other selves so there wouldn’t be two of them standing in the circle.
Ford walked up to the pedestal overlooking the carved Zodiac in the ground. “Friends, family, creatures, and acquaintances. We all know why we are here today.” He stroked the six-fingered hand Mabel had put on his sweater just for this occasion. “As soon as we perform this connection, I am 99% positive the Loop is going to end. Everyone will reset.” He smiled. “It is the way of things.”
Littlepip turned to him, nodding. Lyra nodded as well.
Ford continued. “It will by no means be the end though: we have formed a strong connection over these years, and we will form a strong connection today, one that is hopefully strong enough to tether us all together. We will form the connection of the Zodiac as we were told, the ten of us. Most of you will not be around to see it, or remember it, but I expect that this will mark a new era for the Gravity Falls Loop and a minor change in Yggdrasil itself. It is the start of a new age of stability. I can say that our Loop, after this, will be complete for all intents and purposes. Now, let us hold hands.” He chuckled. “Let us go out with the power of friendship shining up into the sky.”
The crowd began to link hands.
Ford walked into the circle first, the six-fingered hand beginning to glow.
Pacifica went next, deciding she liked the llama sweater after all this time.
Robbie followed, grinning. “DESTINY HOODIE.” He said.
McGucket chuckled, leaping onto his glasses. “LET’S DO THIS AGAIN!”
Gideon grinned. “One last time, indeed old man.”
Wendy leapt onto the Ice Bag. “IT IS SO GOOD TO FINALLY KNOW LET ME TELL YOU. Do you have any idea how many painful memories I have of not knowing what my symbol is…”
Soos walked onto the question mark. “I’m Mr. Mystery! An enigma!”
Dipper and Mabel leapt into the center of the ring, doing a “doop be doop doop TWINS!” dance before going to the shooting star and pine tree.
Stan was the last one. “PAC-FISH!” He yelled, laughing. The crowd laughed with him.
The ten held hands. They began to glow, adding their power to the already tremendous power of the crowd. A beam of light shot into space.
Then Bill was summoned into the center of the circle, torn out of his snowglobe. He was… free.
And he didn’t do anything. He just basked in the magic around him. He floated up into the air, becoming a giant prism, refracting the light into all the colors imaginable.
This would forever after be the first Loop McGucket, Robbie, and Gideon remembered living.
The last memory they ever shared of their first Loop was a triangular eldritch abomination from the depths of tartarus with an expression of bliss, if only for a moment.
Then the Loop ended.

---

“Well… this is most certainly something.” Fenrir said, waving the other Admins over. Evidence of bacon-doughnut carnage was all over the console. Fenrir took another bite out of the delectable treats as the Admins came over.
“What?” Sleipnir asked.
“See this? This is the Gravity Falls Branch and the surrounding area. Weirdmageddon ended a while ago.”
Sleipnir nodded. “So what’s interesting about it?”
“Look at what happens when I search for Bill.” He said, pressing a button. Much of the screen turned yellow.
“That’s.. bizarre.” Morpheus observed
“His soul is spread out across Yggdrasil: there is not a single point I can pin it to. It seems as if this TriNet of his is him, essentially.”
Sleipnir frowned. “This is concerning.. it’s no doubt causing problems-”
“Actually it seems to be stabilizing the areas it comes in contact with. The areas where it has gone over hundreds of thousands of times are being repaired much faster than the others. And now that Gravity Falls is stable, the rate has increased dramatically.” Fenrir actually smirked. “It seems as if he’s unwittingly helping us tie the tree back together… And his help has only increased since that Weirdmageddon ended.”
Sleipnir slowly blinked. “Nobody. Ever. Tell Bill about this. You understand me?”
Everyone nodded vigorously.
Sleipnir frowned. “This is a very dangerous game you are playing Xolotl... Very dangerous… but potentially very beneficial…” He sighed. “Excuse me I’m going to have a chat with the higher ups about keeping me in the loop.” He heard chuckling.
“Does everything have to be a pun here?”
The answer that went unspoken was “yes.”

---

EPILOGUE…
...somewhere, the Princess of Friendship hears the words “In our town!” and wonders when she will eventually be able to give the unicorn the memories she deserves…
...somewhere, an axolotl Admin is plotting further ways to stabilize Yggdrasil…
...somewhere, a triangular demon is making deals for information only he has…
...somewhere, a Chaos gods anonymous club forms, currently with six members…
...somewhere, ten Loopers use their shared destiny and an eldritch abomination to bring stability to the Loops…
...somewhere, Deadpool is mad that he wasn’t involved…
...somewhere, a little dorito is learning. He’s also getting confused by this bizarre seemingly genderless kid…
...somewhere, General Snark would find a shapeshifter egg. Again...
...somewhere, a Loop becomes a hub for other Loops. The tandem runs multiply, ensuring that a small town in Oregon becomes a Looping center and that certain friends are never apart long...
...somewhere, three Loopers, a Loop Aware entity, and a realized dream with quite the aptitude for swearing explore the cosmos on the Stan of War. The number of these ships keeps increasing…
...somewhere, a pink showpony is performing shows from the Pinkie Emporium and teaching a young twin the finer points of party throwing…
...somewhere, rainbows are on fire...
...somewhere, sometime, all these things are happening. All one has to do is look. They’re all somewhere in the woods; the infinite forest that is Yggdrasil. They are out there, waiting.
Goodbye Gravity Falls… for now.
THE END.

Author's Note:

As it says.

Comments

[Ash19256]

That was actually kind of awesome.

[Fictional Fanatic]

Awesome. It has my full approval.

[Greatazuredragon]

...somewhere, Deadpool is mad that he wasn’t involved…

Awesome work!

[BigLurker]

Agreed on the awesome.

[Falx_of_Lume]

I was going to comment on how hilarious Bill's banter with Pit and Palutana was, but now I'm more fearful that this story is fully over... Please tell me it's not over....

[Prism Phoenix]

Ugh. I was waiting for Discord to Awake for half the damn story and it never happened. I am disappointed. Still, I enjoyed the randomness.

[Quantum_Shift]

An excellent finale- and I look forward to seeing what other gambles this axolotl god plans to make for the sake of the Tree...

[Mister Morden]

This was really good! Nice ending...

Wait, I spent an hour reading this and now it is 00:00... Damnit me!

[Panther Passing Across]

Yes! Finally. I mean, I don't really like how OP Bill was, but everything that wasn't repetitive no selling was awesome.

[Amethyst Blade]

Element of Harmony was nerfed...And now it becomes underpowered.
Bill's OP, pls nerf. And he isn't even a looper.
Friendship Power, though.

[PrincessOfTheEnd]

m.popkey.co/3446f5/wGdv5.gif
I don't have any other words.

[Clem]

After those last chapters, I watched all of Gravity Falls for the first time. I watched the last episode right before reading this.

Not sure what to say, really.

[Pylons]

Jaw, meet Floor; Floor? Meet Jaw.

Xolotl is the best Admin. I can't even begin to imagine how incredibly intelligent it must be to come up with a plan like that. Plot twist: the author of these Loops is Xolotl.

WE'RE WATCHING YOU, BILL.

...Excuse me if I'm being incoherent. I just... I think I need to lie down for a while. Yeah, that's it. I just...

*leaves room to squee and spout gibberish*

[Evilhumour]

7455084 Second best Admin, next to Fenrir in my opinion

[Revan]

This was amazing. I await the sequel.

[McBehrer]

Holy word count, Batman!

Also, that line about Rincewind was fucking HILARIOUS! I laughed a lot about that one!

[Bones_]

7455084 That would be so awesome. I could spend hours fanboying and making shitty theories right now.

[Saphroneth]

7065234 Do you mean Twilight as mom to five (or six) CMC? That one's spread over a few chapters.

[SilverDiamond]

7458187 Not butthurt, since I think it's being angry for stupid or no reasons. I believe I have good ones. The show is getting worse and fandom is EATING it. If you try to label me as hater or not tolerating enough then you will prove my point. Example with a yak episode. In real life if sometimes there is someone, who doesn't like something, he is either kicked out or be quiet about it. You do NOT complain about the service quality of someone who takes their time and tries their hardest to entertain you. You do NOT tolerate everything, and the show keeps going downhill...

[AnoneMouseJr]

7458237 I think they mean "Twilight's mom", as in Twilight Velvet.

And to that, I have two possibilities: Loops 177.11, where everypony turns out to somepony else in disguise (and Velvet is a disguised Nightmare Moon); or 145.3, with "Nightmare Velvet".

Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.

[SilverDiamond]

7458237 No, I guess he meant Twilight VELVET being Nightmare.

[Greenjack]

7454170 y'see, that would have made sense, and therefore could never happen.

[Kris Overstreet]

7458608 You pick a poor example. "Party Pooped" is about opening diplomatic relations with a nation whose borders have been effectively shut so long that only immortals remember any contact with said nation. That's not just the Customers From Hell complaining about a dirty fork and lukewarm coffee. That's a high-pressure, high-stakes negotiation where everything really needs to go perfectly. Yes, Prince Rutherford and his aides were dicks, but Twilight putting up with it all for the sake of finding a way for the nations to become friends, despite their conduct, is absolutely believable and realistic.

7451194 I wrote that one, and it was a blend of two universes' puns. In Kancolle / Kantai Collection (the fansub, anyway, dunno about the original Japanese) one of the destroyer-girls declares her ambition to grow up to be "an elephant lady" (meaning to say elegant lady) like the battleship girls. That dovetailed in my mind with "Elephants of Harmony" (elements), and therefore Pinkie Pie became the Element of Destroyers. It's obscure, but it amused me. For everyone else, we have Nightmare Moon crying olly olly oxen free.

[Asterient]

I enjoyed the epic fight between Pinkie and Bill, and it ended pretty well. :) 10/10 from me!

[Vinylshadow]

7450858 That was what inspired that snip

[Simple]

“THAT MUST BE THE DELIVERY GUY- WELL HELLO THERE GOOD LOOKIN!”

No way...

“HELLO YOURSELF! I’VE GOT A PIZZA FOR YOU!"

My life is complete.

[Vinylshadow]

7438789 She's not
She's just realized that Twilight and the others are time travelers from spending time researching it herself to get revenge on Twilight

There's plenty more worthy candidates in front of her in the "List of potential Loopers" that doesn't exist

[GMBlackjack]

7470576
We in the forum went insane over that animation. It couldn't not be included in some way or other.

We were of the mind that it was the best thing ever. And I still think we were right.

-GM, master of lentils.

[Iceguppie]

For those of you who enjoyed this, for the first time or not, I'm glad we have something in common, another bright point in our lives.
For those who found problems with it, I don't hold that against you. If you liked it at all, that's okay. If you didn't, maybe next loop update you'll find something you like.
For those who have just gotten into Gravity Falls due to this like I did long ago...enjoy the rest of the ride, because unlike this story it never ends.

[Saphroneth]

7491103
I'm afraid that, as I'm British, awful puns are basically our cultural humour style.

[Saphroneth]

7495276
It's Latin.

[Remmy4warlord]

I feel oddly satisfied yet incomplete. What can be said?

[Valiant Spiral]

7514403 I said, 'reaction video to SWAG.MOV' And I have recently seen the video in question.

[Evilhumour]

7532834 Spam post, yay!

[Astropye]

I am so happy that I discovered MLP Time Loops. My entire face hurts from smiling and I AM SO AMAZED at what I just read that I am almost speechless. Thank you so much, Writers of Which There Are Too Many Too Name, for creating this simple, yet so awesomely amazing fic. You guys are the best.

[Glowing Ember]

what chapter is the SU loop in?

[Saphroneth]

7542528 Can you unshorten "SU"?

[Glowing Ember]

7542654 Steven Universe

[Saphroneth]

7542655 Well, the way I'd look is the same way you can. Download the story as text and do a text search, basically.

In this case I spent a minute looking for "Steven" and got 158.1, after I'd paged past all the Steven Magnet mentions. Someone with more knowledge of the setting than the name could have found it quicker.

[Glowing Ember]

7542661 Thank you!

[Awesomedude17]

7470576 I was the guy who showed ORB that. I figured that it'd be appropriate for the epilogue.

[Simple]

7567037
Thank you so much. It fit perfectly with the chapter.

[Awesomedude17]

7567053 Thanks.

[Narcosis]

I honestly teared up there at a few places. Sad to see this part end, but it was done really well and I can't think of any way to do it better~

[Glowing Ember]

When does Pinkie become a chaos god?

[Grey Rebl]

Oh my fucking---I've been gone for only a year! What do you mean I now have another million words to go through?!

I blame you, masterweaver. Where ever you go, your output and quality is insane.

[Saphroneth]

7570303 Long way back - same time she Ascended.

[Glowing Ember]

7571172 But what chapter is that?

[AnoneMouseJr]

7571433 Chapter 6, Loop 6.3.

Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.

[Starlight Nova]

Will this story ever be complete?