Loops 80
80.1 (Masterofgames)
Twilight had honestly never been more interested in something purely out of amusement. It was different every time, and it never failed to be interesting!
"Say Ditzy, Just what does your cutie mark mean anyway?"
Ditzy glanced up from her delivery list. "Huh? You really want to know?"
"Sure, why not?"
Ditzy grinned. "Wow, nobody ever really seemed interested before. Sure, I'll tell you!" She set her bag down and led Twilight to a puddle.
"When I was really young, I got super interested in how pegasai can stand on clouds, but other ponies can't. I remember being so shocked when I learned clouds were nothing but water, and we could make them!" she giggled. "Anyway, I got to thinking. What else is made of water?"
"... Ice?"
"Bubbles! Oh this is so cool, I haven't done it in ages! Watch this!" Ditzy grinned, placing a hoof on the surface of the puddle. She took a deep breath, and then slowly lifted her hoof.
The water came with her. A moment later, she was holding an apple sized bubble in the air. "Hee hee, I've still got it! But that's not even the best part, check this out!" she winked, letting the bubble go, where it bobbed lightly in place. Quickly making more and tossing them around, the air was soon full of almost perfectly still bubbles. Ditzy took a deep breath, then flapped upwards and landed on one.
It held her weight perfectly.
Twilight couldn't help but smile as the beaming mailmare hopped from bubble to bubble, happy to share her skill with someone.
80.2 (Crisis)
A shrill whistle halted the mad scramble of Ponyville residents to escape from the advance of the 'witch of Everfree' Zecora as she entered town. All eyes stared as the local librarian and student of Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, dressed in the uniform of the constabulary, approached the cloaked pony figure purposefully.
"Zecora of Everfree?" Twilight inquired in a way that demanded a response.
"That is my name that you say," the figure removed her hood, revealing the striped mane and coat beneath. "What can I do for you this day?"
"You are charged with no less than 2,527 counts of illicit rhyming," Twilight declared to the confusion of all watching, "at least 324 of which are believed to be in the aid of spells and conjurations. I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."
Zecora responded by bringing a small flat rectangular object out of her cloak and hoofing it over to the unicorn.
"Oh," Twilight exclaimed after examining the object for a moment. "Well if you have a poetic license, that's fine. Sorry to have bothered you."
The residents of Ponyville stared as Twilight trotted purposefully away after returning the object to Zecora, wondering what the buck had just happened.
80.1 continued (masterofgames)
Ditzy grinned. "Wow, nobody ever really seemed interested before. Sure, I'll tell you! It's not that exciting though."
"Oh, I'm sure it's fine, please?"
"Oh, okay..." Ditzy giggled. "As you may know... I'm kinda clumsy."
"... Really? I hadn't noticed..." Twilight smiled awkwardly.
Ditzy didn't seem to catch it. "Well... I am. I can't really build things, I'm not that great with weather, and accidents just seem to follow me around..." she sighed. She grinned after a moment though. "But if you need something cleaned, ho boy!"
"Wait, so those are-"
"Yep, soap bubbles! And let me tell you, I would not trade it for the world. You would not believe how hard Dinky can fight to get out of a bath!"
80.3 (yannoshka)
Twilight's good mood quickly evaporated as she entered into Mac's bar and found all eyes upon her. Celestia was at the center with a wide smile and a photo album in her hooves.
"Guest anchor?" Twilight asked her former mentor tiredly, and the widening of the sun mare's smile was all the answer she needed.
She groaned, and beelined straight for the bar where Mac already prepared her a little something fairly alcoholic to help her cope.
Fortified with a downed drink in her belly, she turned back to her erstwhile friend and asked:
"What did my nonawake self do this time?"
By this point Celestia's smile was worthy of Pinkie Pie at her party crazed worst.
"It is not so much what she did as... Well, take a look and I'll try to explain it in a bit." The sun diarch handed the album to Twilight.
Dreading what she would see, the equestrian anchor opened the album and blinked.
"You see, the alicornification was a bit more angelic in nature that loop, and while me and Luna only had to deal with a few extra pairs of wings... Well, you looked more cherubic"
Twilight was looking at a full body photo of herself with four pairs of wings - and two more heads, one with bovine horns and one hornless.
80.1 continued (masterofgames)
Ditzy grinned. "Wow, nobody ever really seemed interested before. Sure, I'll tell you! You know how in comic books when someone is thinking, they use a thought balloon instead of a speech bubble?"
"... Wait, you mean-"
"I can read minds!" Ditzy whispered with a wild grin. "And it was nice of you to take an interest, even if it was more out of curiosity than a desire to get to know me. Good luck with that time loop thingie of yours! I'd stick around to chat, but I need to get back to work."
80.4 (Scygnus)
Usually, Twilight kept a firm handle on what changes she'd made in a loop. She knew what every little step could and would change things.
Like just about everything else, however, when Derpy Hooves/Ditzy Doo was involved, it broke down.
Twilight honestly hadn't even thought twice about saying hello to the mailmare on the way by during her first trip through Ponyville. Derpy had said hello back and kept on. No other reaction. But, since she couldn't find any other divergences from baseline, it must have been that idle hello that caused... this.
"I, for one, welcome our new adorable overlord." Fluttershy quipped, looking far too amused in her quiet way. The other four just looked like they were all out of facehoofs.
"Ponies of Equestria! I present to you... Princess Dinky Doo!" Celestia announced, looking as bewildered as Twilight felt. Behind them, stuffed in various degrees of finery, Discord, Chrysalis, and Sombra, none of whom were Awake, seemed unsure as to whether they should be confused, angry, or amused.
"YAAAAAAAAAAY I'm a Princess mommy!"
"Muffin!"
80.1 continued (misterq)
"Say Ditzy, Just what does your cutie mark mean anyway?"
Ditzy glanced up from her delivery list, "Huh? You really want to know?"
"Sure, why not?"
Ditzy grinned, "Wow, nobody ever really seemed interested before. Sure, I'll tell you!"
"You know how each bubble is an almost exact duplicate of each other? Well..," the grey mailmare concentrated and with a loud poof, she turned into seven Pinkie Pies. Two Pinkie clones had wings and one was a unicorn. Instead of balloons, they each had a singular bubble as a cutie mark.
Twilight Sparkle stared in open mouthed astonishment as one of the Ditzy Pies continued, "let's just say that Pinkie Pie had experimented with the Mirror Pool before."
Another Ditzy Pie continued, "And that it took her a while to remember the correct activation phrase."
A third Ditzy Pie finished with, "And she got distracted by the edible slightly-hallucinagenic glowing mushrooms growing in that cave."
All the Ditzy Pies chorused, "Repeatedly."
Twilight thought for a moment, "I guess that explains your eyes. It's easier for all of you to divide your attention so that you can look in two different directions at once."
The Ditzy collective nodded, "Yup!"
80.5 (Namar13766)
Twlight Sparkle knew she should have shown more tact and restraint at Rainbow Dash being poison joked. However, the only thought that went through her mind was Must...contain...laugh...and...stop...thinking...like...Shatner...
Meanwhile, the normally polychromatic pegasus pawed at the ground. "Rapidash."
80.1 continued (misterq)
Ditzy looked downcast at the ground for a few moments, "Nobody ever really seemed interested before. I thought it would be a little longer before... Twilight, please - please take care of Dinky for me."
And with that said, Ditzy popped like a soap bubble, leaving behind nothing except an utterly horrified Twilight Sparkle.
80.6 (Conceptualist and Vulpine Fury)
“…Using The Charm Of The Elements Of Harmony, She Defeat'd H'r Youthful'r Sist'r, And Banish'd H'r P'rmanently In The Moon. The Eld'r Sist'r Took On Responsibility F'r Both Travelling Lamp And Moon And Harmony Hath Been Maintain'd In Equestria F'r Gen'rations Since. Hmm ... Elements Of Harmony. I Knoweth I've Heard Of Those-"
And Then Twilight Sparkleth Awoke’d.
“By Leafeth And Brancheth, This Is Going To Be A Strange Loop.”
The bar stilled as Twilight finished recounting the last loop. She took a long pull from the "Storyteller's Special" Berry had taught Mac for when she wasn't looping.
"How the HAY did you get a boring baseline loop to sound that epic?" Rainbow Dash asked.
Pinkie giggled. "I like how Zecora was the only one talking normally in it."
80.1 continued (misterq)
Ditzy closed her eyes in quiet pensive contemplation, "Alright, I can tell you. Here, hold my mail bag and stand back."
Twilight took the bag and a few steps backwards.
"Farther."
Twilight went back even more.
"Okay, you should be safe there."
"Safe? What?"
Ditzy shouted across the distance so that Twilight could hear, "My cutie mark is a molecule without any bonds! I don't like actually actively using it, but my special talent is entropy! Watch!"
Then the mailmare concentrated and suddenly everything around her in a ten foot radius was destroyed. Where the bubble of disintegration touched, the tree trunks cracked, splintered and toppled. The shrubs and bushes withered and died before vanishing completely. Even the ground collapsed into a sinkhole.
Then Ditzy stopped her powers and flew down near Twilight, "I.. I understand if you don't want to talk or see or be near me any more."
Twilight blinked in confusion, "Why won't I want to do those things? You're still a friend, Ditzy. And my mailmare. Although, it does explain a few things. If you were an earth pony, you'd have the special talent of touch of destruction. If you were a unicorn, you'd have a disintegration beam spell as your specialty. But since you're a pegasus, your power leaks constantly out of your wings. That's why things break so easily around you!"
Ditzy nodded, "And why being a mailmare never lets me stay in the same place long enough for things to destabilize, usually. Twilight, did you really mean that? That you won't mind being around me even though you know what I can do now?"
"Of course I meant it! You're my friend and a very nice pony. I'd never abandon any pony just because their special talent is scary, as long as they didn't use it to hurt others intentionally," Twilight said with confidence.
And Ditzy found that a smile was slowly spreading across her face.
80.7 (Vulpine Fury)
Rainbow Dash did not like the look in Twilight's eye when she entered Mac's Bar. She especially didn't like it when Twilight smiled at her in the way she realized meant she was planning a prank.
"So, Dash. New expansion loop."
The weather mare swallowed nervously. "I didn't do anything too bad, did I?"
Twilight's grin went from malevolent to playful. "Well, you didn't dress in style..."
Dash winced. The G3 loops were still a sore point for her.
Twilight's smile stayed but warmed gently. "You aced the Wonderbolts Reserves Entrance Exam. But how you did it... Oh-ho, does that open up plenty of prank opportunities. I'm surprised I never noticed it before the expansion, really."
Dash began to sweat nervously. This was going to be heck for the next few dozen loops she was Awake. Hopefully Twilight would burn out on the pranks against her non-Awake self.
80.1 continued (misterq)
Ditzy grinned, "Wow, nobody ever really seemed interested before. Sure, I'll tell you! The bubbles represent other universes. I can see through to alternate realities. I haven't figured out how to actually travel to any of them yet, but one time I did managed to snag something from one."
Twilight was amazed, "Really?! What did you get?"
Ditzy smiled, "Haven't you ever wondered why Dinky has the exact same color eyes and mane as me while most foals look nothing like their parents? The coat is a little different shade, but alternate realities are like that."
Twilight connected the dots, "She's you! She's a younger unicorn version of you from another Equestria."
Derpy nodded sadly, "The last survivor, actually. She was stuck in an air balloon while the ground was completely covered with Smooze. She was starving and terrified. I had to get her out of there. I just had to."
80.8 (Opus J)
Once again, Nightmare Moon stood before Ponyville, and cries of horror were all around Twilight was planning a baseline run, even though Spike was awake, but so far everything was going according to plan.
"Hi!"
...Until Derpy stepped up. Twilight froze for a moment, then shifted her eyes to Spike, who had snuck away a few moments ago. What in the world?...
"And what exactly are you supposed to be doing?" The near-eldritch Pony Abomination asked in a mocking tone.
"This!" And with that word, Derpy opened her mouth and... Blew out a bubble. One that enveloped Nightmare Moon, somehow fitting her into a sphere without any seeming difficulty. For a moment, the whole Hall went silent. Then Derpy turned and bucked the bubble, popping it - and sending Nightmare Moon spinning and bouncing around the room. A moment later she slammed into the floor - and where once had been the Mare of the Moon, Luna lay Dazed - Right next to a muffin.
"Spike..." Twilight said in a rather annoyed tone of voice. "Where in the world did...?"
The Dragon smiled. "I met a few new friends last loop. Kind of weird, but they gave me a copy of their source material..." He held out a cartridge. "I couldn't help myself - and besides, I promised to get him a copy of this window for the copy of the game. Want to Play?" He grinned at her, Shaking the game in his grip.
80.1 continued (misterq)
Ditzy grinned, "Wow, nobody ever really seemed interested before."
Then she just sat there. Twilight looked on expectantly.
Ditzt continued to sit there, with a goofy smile on her face.
The lavender pony finally asked, "So... about your cutie mark?
"Oh, right. What my cutie mark means?" Ditzy said. Twilight leaned forward in expectation.
Then the mailmare chirped, "I have no idea."
Twilight overbalanced and fell head first into the ground. She got up and dusted herself off, "You have no idea what your cutie mark means?"
"Not a clue," said Ditzy happily.
"How did you get it?"
"I... don't remember," Ditzy continued smiling.
Twilight stared at the grey pegasus in stunned silence.
Ditzy stared at Twilight.
Then, with a faint derp noise, Ditzy's eye went separate ways.
And so did Twilight's.
80.9 (Dalxein)
"We're not were-wolves." Twilight said, her form that of an oddly bipedal wolf. "We're why-wolves. Creatures possessed by the spirit... of inquiry."
Finn and Jake glanced at each other, then back at the Why-wolf. "Uhh..."
"What?" Twilight asked in her body's deeper, husky voice.
"It's just... this usually ends differently." Finn muttered.
"So you're not a murder-monster?" Jake asked bluntly.
"Oh, heavens no. I would never hurt anything that wasn't trying to hurt me first." Twilight waved his concerns away.
Finn rubbed his bare chin and wondered. "Huh... so that's wierd... Hey wait, are you a looper?"
"Oh, are you Awake? Yes, I'm my loop's Anchor!" She replied cheerfully. "We're usually ponies. Equestria, you know?"
Jake pawed his forehead. "THAT explains Lady Rainisus!"
"This is SO COOL!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she zoomed past overhead, changing the colors of anything nearby.
Twilight carefully removed her glasses, and then pawed her muzzle to rub at her eyes.
80.1 continued (misterq)
Ditzy looked downcast at the ground for a few moments, "Nobody ever really seemed interested before. I thought it would be a little longer before... Twilight, please - please take care of Dinky for me."
And with that said, Ditzy popped like a soap bubble, leaving behind nothing except a slightly disgruntled Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight waited in the clearing. A moment passed. Then another.
Then Ditzy reappeared. However, she now sported a horn in addition to her wings.
"Behold, I have ascended into an alicorn," Ditzy announced regally, "As a new princess of Equestria, I would be unable to give Dinky a life free from castle intrigue and away from the many jealous enemies that I am sure to acquire. It falls upon you, Twilight Sparkle, to.."
Twilight gave a loud sigh and then flashed. Suddenly she had a set of wings of her own. This was a strange loop and she had hoped Ditzy's talent would be something unique or exceptional due to a certain fact, "Yes, I'm an alicorn, too. Every pony is an alicorn. For some reason, any pony can ascend just by sneezing wrong. We all hide it because none of us actually want to rule and to make Celestia and Luna feel special. The last time a pony accidentally ruined the masquerade, we got Princess Cadance - and now she's stuck in the middle of the frozen north ruling an empire a thousand years out of date."
"So every pony is an alicorn?" Ditzy was shocked.
"It usually happens to every pony after they obtain their cutie mark. They're told on their cutecenara."
"I never had one. My parents were too busy."
Twilight nodded, "I figured as much. Cadance was an orphan. We usually try to let the ponies like you know in secret, someplace out of the way. At least you had the good sense not to run up to the Princesses and yell out, 'Look! Look what happened to me!' like some foal sitter-turned-princess I know."
80.10 (Goldude)
For a Looper such as Rainbow Dash, it was hard not to know about the history of The Wonderbolts.
"The initials E.U.P. stand for what?"
"Earth, Unicorn, and Pegasi. They're the Guard of the Protective Pony Platoons."
"Wrong."
However, for a Looper such as Rainbow Dash, it was hard to tell which history she should be studying for. Twilight continued, "While it's true that three ponies collectively formed The Wonderbolts, E.U.P. stands for the names of the three pegasi who founded them. East Wind, Updrift, and Pulse Storm. Now, can you tell me why they formed The Wonderbolts?"
Rainbow Dash hesitated as she filtered through her memories. "Uh... They got drunk one night and woke up in Saddle Arabia. Normally, that would be impossible, but The Wonderbolts are all about impossible. Updrift had somehow sold his wing to a Diamond Dog and needed it back, so the three went into their territory. An accidental conversation later, and East Wind was now married to the queen of Diamond Dogs.
The queen ordered them to travel over to Griffaltar in order to steal their weather gem. They had to obey under threat of death. Sadly, on their way over to Griffaltar, they got sidetracked and somehow wound up in Zebrica, where they mistakenly gave the zebras a disease they weren't accustomed to. The zebras started to go into comas, unable to deal with the fact that their kind weren't meant to hold magic.
In order to find a way to help them, the three proceeded to head back to Equestria with a Zebra's tail, for DNA purposes. Things went well until they finally found the cure for the zebras. They had totally forgotten about The Diamond Dogs, which had started invading Canterlot and taking ponies hostage until their demands were reached. E.U.P. collectively had enough and went on to form a military division to stop the Diamond Dogs, rescue all the hostages, and drive out the invaders."
"Wrong."
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Huh? But-"
"The three were ordered by Princess Luna to create a military unit because she was feeling lazy about keeping the peace."
Again, it was hard to tell which history she should be studying. "Screw it, I'll fail this loop and try again next one. I'm going to Big Mac's bar."
80.1 continued (misterq)
Ditzy looked downcast at the ground for a few moments, "Nobody ever really seemed interested before. I thought it would be a little longer before... Twilight, please - please take care of Dinky for me."
And with that said, Ditzy popped like a soap bubble, leaving behind nothing except an utterly horrified Twilight Sparkle.
"Ta-da!" Ditzy said happily as she walked out from behind a tree.
Twilight looked at her aghast, "What!? You're alive!"
"Of course," Ditzy replied, "Sorry it was so shocking, but you're Twilight Sparkle. You hang out with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. If my prank was even a little bit less than convincing, you would have never fallen for it."
"But.. but how?"
"My special talent is making animated bubbles. See," Ditzy took a deep breath and blew out a large spit bubble. It wobbled a little in the air, and then took the exact likeness of Twilight Sparkle, herself.
"That's very interesting," Twilight said looking at her bubble clone, "And a little bit gross."
"I know!" said her bubble clone in Ditzy's voice. Then it popped.
Ditzy spoke up, "I know how to throw my voice, but I can't do accurate impressions all that well. My talent's isn't that great for most things, but Dinky loves my bubble puppet theater plays."
80.11
Twilight looked around. She was... on a train, by the rocking motion of the seat under her.
There was a human boy of about mid-teens sitting opposite her – oh, hey, I'm human too. That could be a warning sign, loops like this often go south – and he was looking curiously at her.
“Are you okay, Katniss? What-”
Twilight held up a hand. “Hold on a minute, please.”
Loop memories. Loop memories...
The loop memories arrived.
RIGHT.
She snapped her fingers. “Buck this loop. OWL?”
Stand by, ready. Set up.
“Buster-three. Flier Fin.”
The boy opposite her was frowning. “What are you doing? Where'd that bracelet come from?”
She ignored him. Explanations later.
Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic, archmage, Anchor, and friendship specialist, was pissed off.
Most of her considerable natural power was bound up in her various equiform states, which had natural aptitude at magic. Purely as a matter of ease, she'd learned to channel her magic most easily through a horn.
When she was human, she had to work through implements, for the most part. Oerth magic could be used by bare hands, but it required a laundry list of components, and circumventing them was costly and tricky... unless she was a unicorn, in which case it was easier.
But there were always workarounds. Especially if she was annoyed enough.
Twilight Sparkle blasted through the roof of the train in a corona of pure magic strong enough to be almost opaque to conventional vision. Wand in one hand, OWL in staff-form in the other, ethereal wings sprouting from her ankles and a Barrier Jacket which could probably withstand a moderately sized city buster constituting itself out of thin air around her, she shot south and west towards the Capitol along the line of the rail.
Incidentally, the air around her happened to be on fire.
“...so, anyway, to ease the transition a little, I made the Hunger Games weekly,” Twilight concluded.
Mac blinked. “Wait, what? Beggin' yer pardon, miss Sparkle, but ah thought y'all said-”
Twilight shook her head. “I also put that enchantment from Flonyard on the arena. It's amazing how much a little no-death enchantment can turn a murderfest into genuinely fun entertainment for all the family.”
She took a deep gulp of Frenzywater, wincing as it scorched her throat. “That said, I hope to not have to deal with monsters like that for a good few thousand years...”
80.1 continued (misterq)
Ditzy looked downcast at the ground for a few moments, "Nobody ever really seemed interested before. I thought it would be a little longer before... Twilight, please - please take care of Dinky for me."
And with that said, Ditzy popped like a soap bubble, leaving behind nothing except an utterly horrified Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight backed up in fear, but the rock she accidentally stepped on also popped.
"What is going on here?" Twilight said out loud. She carefully touched a nearby bush, only for it to pop as well.
Cautiously, the lavender unicorn lowered her head and then used her horn to stab at large tree. With a faint snap, the tree popped into nothingness.
Then Twilight found two large buckets, each chock full of experience points. Unfortunately, they were encased in vast amounts of bubble wrap.
"This is stupid!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed as she slapped down her character sheet and multifaceted dice onto the table, "Who votes that Pokey Pierce can no longer be game master?"
Every hoof except Pokey's went up in the air.
"Then it's settled," Twilight said as she looked over the ponies that had gathered for game night. Lickety Split was eating his bowl of ice cream, Bon-bon had passed around her candies, and Ditzy was using her talent to make her apple juice all fizzy. Celestia's student continued, "How about we give Lyra's 'Humans and Handymen' game system a try next?"
80.12 (Crisis)
Twilight was intrigued by this variant. The Unawake Fluttershy apparently had a regular musical performance schedule, usually with trained animal backup. She was still shy in social situations, and she wouldn't perform outside of Ponyville, but on stage in front of ponies she knew? She was a great singer. In fact, she was on her way to the next performance right now, making sure her recording spell was functioning properly. She wanted to have an album to take with her after this Loop ended.
"Have you heard?" Twilight heard somepony, Vinyl Scratch it sounded like, whisper to another nearby. "Fluttershy's going to play rap music!"
Twilight blinked. Able to take the stage or not, that sounded a little... bold for the shy pegasus. But either way it should prove entertaining, so she took her spot in the audience.
The curtain rose, the music began, and Twilight facehooved as she saw Fluttershy's animal backup this time.
She was playing rat music.
80.1 continued (misterq)
Ditzy looked downcast at the ground for a few moments, "Nobody ever really seemed interested before. I thought it would be a little longer before... Twilight, please - please take care of Dinky for me."
And with that said, Ditzy popped like a soap bubble, leaving behind nothing except a mildly distraught Twilight Sparkle.
"Hi Dinky. Your mom exploded for some reason," Twilight monotoned to the little filly once she reached Ditzy's house, "She asked me to take care of you."
"Sheesh," Dinky huffed, "She did it to you, too? It's like Mom will do anything for free foal sitting. Her special talent is creating atmospheric illusions - mirages. If you want to talk to her, she's probably at the movies. I should be alright on my own."
"I don't mind staying with you, Dinky. How about we play a board game?"
"No, that's okay," the little unicorn waved her hoof, "I'm sorry mom is such a big jerk this loop."
Twilight's head whipped around, "What did you say?"
"Um, I didn't say anything," Dinky scrunched her mouth, her eyes shifting from one side to the other.
Twilight continued to stare at the little filly.
Dinky suddenly tapped herself on her chest, "Enterprise, one to beam up!"
Twilight looked on as the little unicorn vanished in a flash of blue. Then she told the universe exactly how she felt about this particular loop, "Ugh!"
80.13 (misterq)
Kakashi looked over his new team and sighed. They had tried doing D ranks until the Hokage made the repairs to the collateral damage they always caused come out of Kakashi's own personal funds.
Weeding garden? The weeds, most of the garden, and parts of the house were currently in low Earth orbit heading for Cloud, thanks to Trixie's modified 'weeds only' explosive tags.
Catching Tora? Completed due to Pinkie's secret recipe drugged tuna cakes, which happened to wear off just as Kakashi was handing off the cat to its owner - with the added benefits of increasing Tora's aggression, speed, and size. And claw sharpness. And letting it breathe fire, somehow.
Painting a fence? Kakashi didn't really want to remember what happened that mission. All he knew was that people were still trying to remove a stray fence post lodged in the mountain up the second Hokage's stone nostril.
The sad thing was that Team Demolition, as his students were now called, actually worked and cared for each other like a team should. It was just that no mission ended like they were supposed to.
Kakashi remembered the introductions.
"Howdy. My name is Applejack. My folks are a distant branch member of the Senju family that decided to settle down and run an orchard rather than do the ninja thing. Since things are pretty good on the farm, my little sis and I decided to off and join the ninja academy. I'm pretty strong and I can do a little bit of the wood chakra thing, but I'm better at earth manipulation. My favorite technique is making a giant club made of ultra-dense compressed earth and fighting with it. Guess that means I'm training to be a taijutsu expert with a bit of ninjutsu thrown in. I like apples, good friends, and honesty. I don't like it when people lie just because they can or to hurt others."
It was like she said, Kakashi thought. Applejack was massively strong for a genin and she could eventually develop Tsunade-level strength. She was fast and her mastery of earth jutsu was impressive. She would have been a perfect samurai. However, she had absolutely no talent for deception. He still cringed when he remember her attempt in a later kunoichi seduction class. "Howdy, my name is Apple.. not.. jack, and I'm anything except a Konoha ninja. Pleased ta meet ya!"
However, if he wanted guile and deception, there was always.. her.
"The name is Trixie, soon to be the great and powerful. At the age of five, I ran away to Konoha from a nearby circus that just happened to be on fire from mysterious circumstances that I know nothing about and were definitely not caused by one such as me. My strengths lie in my fabulous genjutsu and I have been studying seals for years now. My pride and joy are these gloves that can emit an explosive note level blast from the palms if I hold them like this.. OHNO! Hold on, sensei! I'll put the flames out! And a few illusions and your hair will even out again."
Finally, there was his last student. The the living embodiment of a headache.
"Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie! My family is a branch of the Akimichi clan. I love making others happy and seeing them smile and baking tasty treats and the way the sky looks in the morning and, oh I know! I've made everyone some ninja cookies. They're like little shirukens, and you can actually reenforce them with chakra and throw them, but you can also eat them since they're so tasty. So very tasty.. Mphhfhh dhntsh rithke bthhphht!"
Whatever else Pinkie was saying was lost as she had stuffed her mouth with a multitude of her own shiruken cookies and was trying to speak while eating them all at once, much to the disgust of Kakashi and her new teammates.
Apparently instead of growing larger and stronger the more she ate, Pinkie became faster. She had blinding speed - so fast it looked like she was teleporting at times, because there was absolutely no way Kakahsi's brain would accept that a little pink genin could have perfected his sensei's signature yellow flash technique. This, coupled with her high level strength, durability, ability to be one of the most stealthy ninja Kakashi had ever seen despite constantly wearing highlighter pink and pastel blue, a propensity and chakra supply for making several shadow clones whenever she felt like it, and a danger sense that bordered on precognitive made Kakashi put her skills into the low jonin level. That is, if his suspicions proved false and that Pinkie wasn't actually hiding the majority of her abilities. Otherwise, well, Kakashi wasn't broken enough yet to believe in such a possibility yet.
In fact, his student would have been the perfect ninja if not for one thing. Pinkie Pie was a consummate pacifist. She refused to kill and wouldn't even hurt the worst of people if she could avoid it. To try and fix this, he had assigned her a solo C level mission of completely eliminating a bandit hideout.
Watching concealed from a nearby tree, Kakashi saw as Pinkie Pie appeared in the middle of the camp and promptly threw all the panicking bandits a giant party. It took the hardened men a long while to stop panicking, trying to attack her - which never worked, or trying to escape - Pinkie, or a Pinkie clone, would appear in their path and suddenly they would be back at the party. Eventually, Pinkie announced that as of now, everyone is no longer a bandit, but instead a worker at her candy factory on the outskirts of Konoha - which they also had to build first. Since there were only candy workers and no bandits around anymore, she didn't have to eliminate anyone. Mission success!
The candy factory had been built and all the ex-bandits seemed to be settling into their new roles. A few of the worst did try to escape early on during the construction, but they never got far. There had been no further breakout attempts after Pinkie announced that the escapees had been found and retired and are now happily living on a distant farm somewhere, or at least that's what the nice but slightly gross ninja covered in blood had told her.
Kakashi looked over his three students once again, "Congratulations. You're all going into the next chunin exam. I'm sure you'll all do very well. As always, try not to destroy the village."
Over all the cheering, Kakashi really hoped that they would all get promoted. Promoted and possibly get assigned an extremely long duration mission someplace not very flammable and far, far away from him.
Then came a distant cry that the entire village was slowly learning to hate and fear, "Ninja Sage Crusaders: Stone Mason Experts!"
This cry was shortly followed by a loud 'Oops!' as the first Hokage's stone face slowly slid down the mountainside.
80.1 continued( Crisis)
"Say Ditzy, Just what does your cutie mark mean anyway?"
Ditzy glanced up from her delivery list, "Huh? You really want to know?"
"Sure, why not?"
Ditzy grinned, "Wow, nobody ever really seemed interested before. Sure, I'll tell you! It's what's in my head!"
Twilight gaped at the self-depreciating remark as she considered how mean some ponies had to have been to convince her of that. It was so sa–
"No," Ditzy cut off her thoughts, "I'm serious. Watch."
And with that, the wall-eyed mailmare put her hoof over her mouth and blew, puffing out her cheeks comically and causing a stream of bubbles to shoot out her ears.
"O...kay," Twilight did her best to wrap her mind around that one. "I was not expecting that."
80.14 (OracleMask)
Naruto's smirk was a little unsettling to Kakashi's eyes.
"Now that you're officially cleared for training by the Stripe-kage -" Naruto began.
Kakashi interrupted him with a raised hoof.
"Stripe-kage?"
"Where did you think she learned Mokuton from?" Naruto retorted, "Now where was I? Ahem...now that you're okay to train, I can finally show you the secret of using jutsu when you don't have fingers! But first, to celebrate your recovery, we've got a little...test."
If the smirk had been unsettling, the grin Naruto had on now was downright disturbing. Kakashi hid his nervousness well as Naruto reached into his mane and pulled out...a pair of tiny, jingling bells.
"...You're kidding me."
Naruto laughed.
"Nope! As the newest member of Looping Team Seven, its only fitting that you pass the bell test before I can train you! These are even the original bells, see? I have a couple...hundred...thousand copies of them of stashed away in my pocket. I can easily spare some for our test."
As Kakashi watched, Naruto awkwardly tied the bells into his mane.
"So you want me to come at you with intent to kill?" Kakashi asked.
"Well, considering that right now your best intent to kill me really won't do diddly-squat to me, it's up to you," Naruto replied, "Let's just say 'If it's stupid and it works, it wasn't stupid'. I'll even promise not to fly so you won't be too outmatched."
"You're enjoying this far too much."
"Of course!" Naruto laughed, "Ne, Kakashi, you can start whenever you -"
His words were cut off as Naruto had to jump out of the way of a silvery blur. It resolved into Kakashi, leg outstretched a hoof strike. Which, Naruto realized, had been aimed for his head. Kakashi eye-smiled at the shocked expression on Naruto's face.
"Zecora must have forgotten to mention that I've been training my pony-style taijutsu with Silver Spoon," Kakashi said as innocently as he could manage.
"Yeah...guess so," Naruto replied, his smile returning.
Kakashi was exhausted, and it was showing. Naruto, not so much, but the pegasus was clearly having trouble holding himself back.
Over the last hour, Naruto had gotten a painful reminder that new to looping or not, unfamiliar with fighting in a pony body or otherwise, Kakashi Hatake was still a leaf-damned Jounin and Might Gai's Eternal Rival for a leaf-damned reason.
The only trouble was that Naruto still had the bells. And chasing Naruto around this clearing all day was doing very little to change that.
"We can always try this again tomorrow," Naruto called out, seeing how Kakashi was starting to look a little wobbly on his hooves, "You're already doing great, Kakashi! No need to push yourself too far when you've just gotten better right?"
Tempting. Realistically, pacing himself on this would be the smart decision. There were still years until their time in Equestria was scheduled to end. And after that would be more loops. Countless more loops, if Naruto's experience was anything to judge by. Kakashi could take his time, build his strength back up.
Yeah, no.
Naruto, apparently taking the silence as agreement, turned to head back to Ponyville. At that moment Kakashi flung himself forward. He crashed in a heap a dozen feet past his target.
"What - Kakashi!"
Naruto flew over immediately, panicking. But Kakashi was...laughing? And he was holding something in his teeth, something that jingled. Naruto checked his mane - yep, the bells were gone.
"Kakashi-sensei, you idiot."
"...basically, it's all mental," Naruto finished.
Kakashi nodded. "So the reason I was able to body flicker at the end was -"
"Because you don't normally use hand signs for that anyway, and you wanted it bad enough that you were able to overcome the whole 'I'm not in my real body' mental block," Naruto nodded, "It takes a lot of practice before you can use complicated jutsu, but the simplest things - or at least stuff you already use all the time anyway - are a cinch. Take me, for example. I was throwing around Shadow Clones right away."
To show off, Naruto promptly poofed two clones into existence.
"But even transforming took a lot longer for me to relearn," Naruto added, as the two clones demonstrated a transformation.
For lack of any other ideas, Naruto's clones turned into Sasuke and Sakura - human-shaped of course, since Kakashi had no way to recognize their pony forms. He was about explain further about the mental techniques when the Sakura-shaped clone violently gagged. Both the remaining clone, Naruto, and Kakashi were shocked to see a hoof impaled directly into that clone's chest - right where the heart would have been if the clone had really been Sakura.
Kakashi especially was surprised, because it was his hoof doing the impaling.
The clearing was very quiet after the poor clone finally popped.
80.1 continued( Crisis)
"Say Ditzy, Just what does your cutie mark mean anyway?"
Ditzy glanced up from her delivery list, "Huh? You really want to know?"
"Sure, why not?"
Ditzy grinned, "Wow, nobody ever really seemed interested before. Sure, I'll tell you! It's my personality!"
Twilight waited for her to continue for a second before it sunk in. "Wait, that's it?"
"Yep!"
80.13 continued
"So are we a team yet?" asked the purple haired girl.
"I really don't want to head on back to the academy," said the red headed girl, "They don't seem to like us there all that much. Plus they still haven't really rebuilt all of the building after our last attempt at becoming ninja sages."
"Yeah!" squeaked a grinning Sweetie Belle, "I would hate to think what the council would do to you if you didn't pass us, Mizuki-san."
"You all... pass," Honestly, it was the only thing Mizuki could say. He was now constantly wishing for incarceration in the T&I department instead of being appointed team leader for this particular group. But the Hokage needed a teacher that was disposable at best, and he fit the bill. He had been told, in excruciating detail, exactly what would happen if he attempted to escape or even commit suicide. But as Mizuki watched his new genin team, now labeled 'Team Ninja Sage Crusaders', enthusiastically yell out their catch phrase; he wondered if being revived and then eaten by the shinigami would really be worse than teaching these three.
Kakashi heard the very familiar and very unwelcome voices and placed his palm over his face. Of course they would send those three to 'help' him. They would use all sorts of excuses like how they had worked together as a team before, but the jonin was willing to bet his entire Icha-icha collection that the true reason was that they just wanted his former students out of the village as far and as often as possible.
"I really don't think that is what the abbreviation stands for, Pinkie," Applejack was heard saying as the three walked towards the clearing where Kakashi and his new team was waiting.
Pinkie huffed, "I remember what it stands for. I worked at the Tickle and Irritation department for a whole day, Applejack."
"So what happened there?" Trixie asked, "Why didn't they want you back?"
Pinkie tapped her finger to her chin, "Well, they placed me in a room that had a bunch of prisoners behind a glass wall. Then, they had me just talk about some of the new desserts I wanted to invent. But in the evening, they told me that it was much too troublesome to have me do that every day. Apparently, they said that I was causing far too many attempted suicides. And that three of the attempts were by the guards. Then they gave me some money and sent me home."
Applejack nodded, "I'm proud to have survived a full two and a half minutes of weaponized Pinkie-babble before breaking. I still can't look on any sort of cherries without remembering. Oh, hey there, sensei!"
"Hi, Kakashi!" Pinkie Pie waved enthusiastically.
"Hmm, I don't remember seeing anyone that looks like this man," Trixie frowned, "Are you sure we've met before?"
Applejack gently tapped the pointed-hat-and-cloak-wearing ninja girl on her shoulder, "Try to picture him on fire, screaming and flailing wildly."
"Ahh, Kakashi-sensei!" Trixie exclaimed with a smile, "Fancy meeting you again. Looks like your eyebrows are coming back nicely."
"You three," Kakashi said by way of a greeting.
"Are these your new students?" Applejack asked, "I'm Applejack. This here is Trixie and the one in the pink dress is Pinkie Pie."
"My name is Sakura. Pleased to meet you," said the unawake (thankfully) Sakura.
"Sasuke," the brooding Uchiha uttered.
"And I'm Naruto!" said the loop anchor before looking at Pinkie Pie, who was leaning far into his personal space. She was examining every detail on his face, even sniffing him a few times. Naruto spoke up, "Er.. what is she doing?"
Applejack shrugged, "No idea."
Pinkie suddenly jumped back and pointed a finger at Naruto, "It all makes sense now! The Uchiha massacre, the attempted kidnapping of the Hyuga heiress, Sakura's pink hair, the Kyuubi attack! I know your secret now, Naruto!"
"What? What are you talking about?" Naruto tried not to look at his overly interested teammates or the suddenly alarmed Kakashi.
Pinkie continued, "Your quick healing! Your animalistic features! Your insatiable hunger for ramen! It's quite obvious! Just like in my old dog-demon manga! You, Naruto, are a hanyou! A half-demon!"
Everyone just sat there silent for a moment. Then, Sakura spoke up, "That's stupid! We don't live in a manga."
Naruto was attempting not to give Sakura the same look as the other three loopers while stealthily tapping on his stomach seal, trying to stifle the howling laughter inside his mind, "No I'm not! Why would you ever think such a thing?"
"Because it's plain to see what must have happened," Pinkie Pie launched into her explanation, "Shortly after Naruto was born, a group of Konoha ninja were returning from a mission. There was a Uchiha on the team, and when their super freaky eyes saw Naruto, they knew what he was. The Uchiha wanted Naruto's power. They wanted him to become a ninja for Konoha, but Naruto's human parent refused to move. After the mission, that Uchiha snuck back and kidnapped baby Naruto, killing his parent in the processes. They took him back to Konoha and were planning to raise him as an Uchiha.
"But the Kyuubi returned. Seeing its mate slaughtered and its child missing, the demon grew to its full form and followed the trail back to the village. The Uchiha, not wanting to be blamed for the disaster, tossed Naruto into the nearest orphanage and claimed that he had been born that day. Then the fourth Hokage died killing the the Kyuube and life continued as normal. Right until Hinata Hyuga was almost kidnapped.
"The Hyuga also have super freaky eyes and they saw the Uchiha dump a half-demon baby into the orphanage right before the Kyuube attacked. They were willing to sit on this information so as not to destroy an entire clan and weaken the village, but then during the kidnapping, the Uchiha police turned out to be of absolutely no use. They didn't stop the kidnapper or prevent the death of Neji's dad. So in anger, they let loose the knowledge that the Kyuube attack happened entirely because of the Uchiha clan.
"Not wanting his clan to be remembered as complete traitors, Itachi took it upon himself to kill all of them, except for his brother. He tortured Sasuke because without the feelings of sympathy his suffering produced, Sasuke would have been known only as a traitor's brother and not the last brave survivor. And that's how everything happened. It's so obvious," Pinkie Pie finished speaking.
Everyone sat there in silence except for Naruto's tapping, which had reached a rapid staccato beat as Kurama's howling laughter intensified.
Sakura raised her hand, "How does any of this ridiculous story explain my hair color?"
"It doesn't," Pinkie Pie chirped, "I just really like pink."
80.1 continued (Kris Overstreet)
Ditzy looked downcast at the ground for a few moments, "Nobody ever really seemed interested before. I thought it would be a little longer before... Twilight, please - please take care of Dinky for me."
And with that said, Ditzy popped like a soap bubble, leaving behind nothing except an utterly horrified Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight found Dinky Doo at the playground next to Ponyville's schoolhouse. She watched the little unicorn running back and forth with her friends, trying to field a hoofball, failing, then trying again without the least sign of discouragement.
And what she had to tell her... what she... no. Twilight took a deep breath and stepped forward. Best to do it quickly, before the shock wears off. She's going to need somebody strong to lean on, and if I think too much about what happened to Derpy I won't be that pony.
Dinky noticed the shadow over her and looked up at Twilight. "Hello, Miss Sparkle!" she said. "How are you?"
"Dinky..." Twilight had to take another deep calming breath before she could continue. "I'm afraid I've got some bad news to tell you... about your mother."
Dinky sighed, but it sounded to Twilight more like exasperation than sadness. "She popped again, didn't she?"
"Um... what?" Twilight blinked.
Dinky began walking with a steady, determined pace, and Twilight followed out of curiosity. It wasn't far to the humble cottage on the edge of town that Derpy had called home, and Ditzy walked straight inside, leaving Twilight to hesitate for several moments before following.
Twilight found Dinky in the back of the cottage, standing on top of a stepladder next to a gigantic storage pot carved out of stone. Painted with sloppy strokes on the side of the stone urn was the word MOM. From behind the urn Dinky drew up an immense bubble wand in her teeth, the thing easily twice her own length, and with great effort marehandled it into the urn, stirring vigorously for a few seconds. Then with the greatest care she lifted the bubble wand out, a shining rainbow membrane clinging to the aperture.
Slowly but firmly Dinky waved the wand, and an immense bubble formed. When it finally left the wand, it shrank in on itself, taking the shape and form of a familiar gray-coated, blonde-maned pegasus.
"Hi, Muffin!" Derpy grinned. "How was school?"
"How did you do it this time, Mom?" Dinky asked. "Thistle salad? Too long in the sauna at the spa? Forgot what F-R-A-G-I-L-E on a package means?"
"Twilight just asked about my cutie mark," Derpy smiled. She looked from Dinky to Twilight and said, "I hope my little muffin behaved while you were taking care of her. Thanks!"
"But... what? How? Why? That... I don't... how can...?" All the questions in the world were holding a convention just behind Twilight's vocal chords, and the chairmare couldn't call the meeting to order.
"Gran'ma was a Mirror Pool clone," Dinky said. "Gran'pa and then Dad had to restore Mom about once a week before I took over." She looked at her mother and added, "I love Mom dearly, but I'm hoping my cutie mark turns out to be a brick. Or a boulder. Or a concrete mixer, maybe."
"That's my rock-solid little girl!" Derpy grinned, ruffling Dinky's mane. "You can always rely on her to be strong!"
Why couldn't Mac or Berry Punch be Awake this Loop? Twilight thought. I need a drink NOW. Brain bleach is ineffective if applied four hours after the memory you want to erase...
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Bubbles!
I'm kind of sad that I missed out on this particular running gag, though misterq nailed my personal headcanon. Planeswalking's risky business with the Loops up.
Also:
And I'm mean and I'm turf
And I'm mean and I'm turf
And my friends and I can walk towards you with our hats on backwards in a menacing way.
Yo!"
... I am shamelessly stealing that cutie mark meaning and ability for my own stories. Totally shameless. (Unless the author comes and berates me. Then I'll feel some shame. Except then I'd ask permission, and hopefully gain it, so then no shame again.)
DAMMIT! Someone beat me to my idea! (If the author reads this, did you get the idea from the new Bubble Bobble Tribute video by 7-bit Hero?)
80.1.12: ...what.
(No, really, what?)
80.6: Ghhhv. -eth is a verb ending. Third person singular present, specifically. Which... as far as I can tell, means that loop's Twilight can't actually speak comprehensibly, even when she manages an E. (Not that the narration is much better; seriously, "awoke'd"?) Also, who is I, and why does Twilight care whether I knows what she's heard of?
I was rereading this and I just noticed a bit of a kerfluffle in the last Derpy explanation scene.
I can only think of one explanation: ghost bubbles.
Telepathic Ditzy. Headcannon accepted. Poor Kakashi indeed. Rapid Dash!
I get it! I get it! Spike would be laughing his head off now!
4247854
Sorry for the really, really late reply, but I only saw your comment during a reread.
Exactly. That was the whole point of it. I just changed the canon line into an almost unintelligible parody of Shakespearean language, and then added the stuff just after it. Vulpine Fury added the part after the scene break.
Twilight says "I know I have heard before" etc in the first scene of the series. That was what the wiki had down in the transcript. She is referring to herself.
4527003 Oh, I know the canon line. It's just a continuation/example of the same complaint (possibly slightly in jest, though I don't actually remember my thought process almost two months later): since -eth is third person singular, the "I" Twilight's talking about would be, rather than the first person singular pronoun, a distinct entity with a single-character name. Something like Q (Star Trek and/or James Bond, take your pick).
That said, it being deliberate parody makes things somewhat better; I'm not very fond of deliberate incomprehensibility, but it's certainly preferable to the kind where you think you know what you're doing and you just don't.
Man, Kakashi just can't catch much of a break.
Dinky is looping!
4770220 Actually, no. Dinky isn't looping.
OK, I'll admit, I laughed so hard when I saw that moment.
*drops bubble pipe*
Ditzy...
bubbles...
wha...
That's BRILLIANT!
*edit*
Okay, okay, the others are good too (especially the Ditzy Collective), but that first one is the best.
Well, at least is not Awake Kakashi, so he hasn't got to suffer it more than one.
What if Fluttershy obtained the Tiger Talisman from Jackie Chan Adventures? I'm quite curious as to what the two opposing personalities of Flutterrage and Fluttersqueak would be like when completely separated into the light and the dark. Pinkie Pie's reaction, on the other hand, is quite obvious should she ever obtain it. Let's pray to trees that she doesn't. Yggdrasil will be doomed should that ever occur.
80.1 part 8
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1144_130710147434.jpg
Twilight Sparkle Screws Hunger Games:
heh. 80.7 reminded me of this comic:
http://erictheblue.deviantart.com/art/S04E21-Testing-Testing-1-2-3-450857602
this made me think of an old Archie comic:
Narrator: "his head, it grows heavier, his shoulders,they grow slumpier. in spite of his friends, he's down in the dumpier!"
Jughead: "that narrator's poetic license should be revoked."
PROOF!
TWILIGHT HAS PROOF OF STAR TREK LOOPERS!
SLIEPNIR WINS THE BET!
Oh! Is this why Derpy is a Dreamer?
here's an amusing video with a Princess Derpy: