MLP Loops 169
169.1 (Masterweaver)
"Hey Twilight, Moondancer is having a little... get-together..."
Lemon Hearts paused, looking at the purple unicorn. "Um..." She noted the twitching eyelid, the clenched teeth, the tightly wound hooves. "Twilight? You okay there?"
"I want you to pick up the book in front of me, then back away to a radius of five feet."
The yellow pony blinked at the intense response, but did as she was told, waving back the other ponies. Something about the way she'd given the order made it clear that obeying was mandatory.
Tension mounted in the air as Twilight slowly looked skyward.
Then, in one brief moment, she exploded--wings snapping out as she glowed pure white, her mane transforming into a pillar of flame that burned the grass around her, red eyes still visible as she stood and screamed at the sky.
"SLEEEEEEEEEIPNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!!!!"
Lemon was shoved aside by an incredibly large stallion as the fire died down to a controlled circle of embers. "Twilight Sparkle, control yourself!"
"I AM. Controlling myself," Twilight snarled, turning her fiery gaze on the newcomer. "I am very, very carefully making sure that while I express my anger, nobody gets hurt. I am, however, incredibly, dangerously angry."
"I can see that," the stallion deadpanned, rubbing his head with two forehooves — and, Lemon realized belatedly, standing on six. "And I'm pretty sure I know why—"
"That last expansion. Was that baseline? I need you to tell me now."
"All signs point to yes."
"The time travel. The map — the, the spell. Sleipnir, you're the son of a trickster. Tell me you're joking."
The stallion — Sleipnir — crossed his hooves over his heart. "May my mother never prank again should I be wrong."
The flaming pony stared at the giant for a long time. Lemon coughed, awkwardly.
Eventually, though, the flaming mane turned back to normal as Twilight kicked at the ground. "FERN. Fern fern fern fern fern." She rolled onto the ashen ground with a groan. "Well, at least now I know how to keep that from happening. I just... I just... UGH. Those timelines, that spell--"
"Coding all that isn't going to be easy," Sleipnir commented sympathetically. "At least we have patches for the situation from other time travel loops."
"Yeah. Yeah I guess... I shouldn't have snapped at you, this isn't really your fault." She sighed. "And I guess we can figure out how to get Starlight to calm down now..."
Sleipnir leaned back. "You know, with how angry you are I was kind of worried you'd try to seek revenge on her or something."
"No, no, there's no real room for grudges in the loops. Learned that with Gendo, unfortunately." Twilight rolled over, releasing another sigh. "And it's not who I am, anyway. And... she really didn't get what she was doing, in the end. The best revenge is living happily after all... Is anybody else Awake?"
"Well, I was in the middle of checking when you... blew up. I know Nyx is, at least."
"GOOD. I could use some cuddling after that." Twilight moaned. "Oh, everfree, now I have a headache..."
"You might want to lose the wings," Sleipnir suggested, gesturing to Lemon Hearts.
"Huh?" Twilight glanced at her, raising her eyebrows. "Oh. Oh right." With a flash, she was once again a unicorn, rising from the ash around her. "Lemon, could you tell... tell Moondancer that I'm going to be late to the party? I need to go home and... wash all this grit off, maybe go through a tub of ice cream. Make sure she knows that I am coming," she added as she plodded off.
Lemon Hearts nodded vaguely, watching her go with wide eyes.
After a moment, she turned to the eight-legged stallion. "Um... what just happened?"
Sleipnir cleared his throat. "Just... give her a day or two to calm down, and she'll explain everything. I have to go. Pleasure to meet you," he quipped, saluting before vanishing abruptly.
169.2 (Gym Quirk)
"Now things are just getting silly," muttered Twilight as yet another alternate timeline unfolded during her face-off with Starlight Glimmer.
"What is all this stuff?" asked Spike as he lifted his feet from the viscous liquid coating the map table and the surrounding landscape. "Is this another Smooze future?"
Twilight bent down to sniff at the substance. "Worse," she sighed. "I'm not even going to try to reconstruct the chain of events, but I'm pretty sure that this time, the absence of the rainboom led to the Cutie Mark Crusaders triggering the Tree Sapocalypse."
169.3: (masterofgames)
Lyra, Lyra, Lyra, Lyra-and-a-half, and Sweetroll all took their places at the Council Room Of Lyra's Head (TM pending).
"I call this meeting to order!" Pony Lyra grinned, knocking her hoof on the table twice. "First order of business, our new guest!" she continued, gesturing to the over-sized chair at the far end of the table. Residing in it were five stone orbs floating more-or-less in place, with an aquamarine, harp-shaped jewel floating over them, spinning slowly.
Seapony Lyra nodded. "Yeah, what gives with that? Why a chair for an abstract entity? Or an abstract entity for a chair, as the case may be?"
"Yeah, I would have sworn it would either have our combined form in it, or be empty unless we all sat in it to combine again." Human Lyra shrugged.
"I have a theory there." Thief-borg Lyra chimed in. "Perhaps it's because our combined form isn't a set shape."
Everyone turned to look at her, eyebrows raised.
"Well think about it! Each of us had a different part, and a different element."
"Yeah, we got that much." Seapony nodded.
"Well, each element can only be bonded to one person. But who did each one bond to? Lyra! We're all the same person. If we swap elements around, we might be able to swap parts as well. We might even be able to change proportions of who changes how much, or combine our influence in the same parts if we harmonize up correctly."
"Well, we're alone outside right now." Sweetroll shrugged. "If we're going to test it, now's as good a time as any."
Thief-borg nodded. "My thoughts exactly! I think I still have something left over from our mecha project..." she muttered as she slid out of her chair and under the table. "If I can just... reconnect a few wires... ugh... come on... Anything yet?"
"Nope."
"Gotta be the other one then... there! That should do it!" Thief-borg grinned as she pulled herself back up into her chair, the center of the table flickering briefly before revealing a hologram of Pony Lyra. "Awww yeah! Still got it!" she hoof pumped in glee.
"So... we mess around with the elements... and this shows us how we change outside?" Human asked.
"Yep! So let's do some science!"
Sweetroll gathered the orbs and handed them out. "Okay, might as well start with Pony, then Human syncs up on the left, and Seapony from the right."
"My left or hers?" Human asked as she slid around the table and focused, the image above the table starting to shift.
"Both! It's the same left!" Thief-borg rolled her eyes.
"Oh, abstract left! Got it."
Sweetroll looked over the image as it settled into its' new shape, the others managing to more or less fall into place in the link. "Hmm... We kinda got a centaur look with a fish tail. Maybe if... Try letting Pony take a bit more of the connection... No, now the horn is off center. Our aim would be completely shot. Maybe Thief here?" she gestured to a spot on the image.
"I'll synch with Human then, and... okay, loving the cyber wings, but now we have two horns."
"*Snrrk!* S-save that one. We kinda look like Tirek. If we can widen the space between them, and bulk up just a little muscle, we can freak Twilight out in a few loops!"
"Ha! Awesome! Okay, settings saved to shortcut 1. Seapony, try swapping out with Sweetroll and joining Human, then add me to the link."
"Down to two legs, but I am LOVING the cinnamon swirl circuitry designs on the skin! Horns are longer as well. Kinda mino-esque!"
"What about clothes?"
"What about clothes?"
"Meh, point I guess. Do we want a pony, or a human head?"
"I'm good either way, but pony would get fewer weird looks."
"So human then?"
"On this side of the mirror at least. Weird looks are fun! Hmm... maybe we can... Ooh! Is that a shockwave gland in the throat?"
"Must be my siren side influencing things. Maybe if I move over here..."
"Nice, but that kicks me out! This won't work without all of us! Here, why not try..."
169.4: (Edvarius)
Twilight double checked her loop memories to make sure that there was nothing that would give her away with this prank. Everything seemed to be running the same as baseline, though the early start she had here gave her an opportunity she didn’t normally have. Seeing that she didn’t have the loop memories of asking this to anypony yet she then set up her recording devices and hid them behind various veils and perception filters. With everything in place she nodded to herself and approached Princess Celestia’s chambers. The guards on either side smiled down at the young filly and opened the door for her, under orders to let her pass if she needed anything. There were times being the Princess’ personal student had its advantages.
Inside her room Celestia was softly rocking a newborn Spike. She gently hummed a lullaby as Twilight walked quietly over to the cradle to look at Spike in his most adorable stage. Celestia motioned with her hoof to her mouth that they should be quiet before lifting the cradle gently with her magic and carrying it into the inner chambers so they wouldn’t disturb the baby dragon. Once the door was softly closed the princess turned to her young protégé. “Was there something you needed Twilight?”
“Yes. I finished reading that book you gave me,” she replied as she lifted the tome from her saddle bags. Then she did her best to look a bit hesitant, “And, um…”
“Was there something in there that confused you? You don’t need to be ashamed of that Twilight. Asking questions is an important part of learning.”
“Well I did have a question, but it didn’t have to do with the book. I, I probably shouldn’t ask you. I’ll just go. Goodnight, Princess Celestia.”
“Don’t be silly, my little pony. You can always ask me about anything.”
“Oh, well in that case…” Twilight glanced over at the door to the inner chamber where Spike was sleeping. “I know that baby dragons come from eggs now,” she said, before turning back to her teacher with a face full of innocent curiosity. “But where do baby ponies come from?”
169.5 (Edvarius)
Clark Kent Awoke lying in bed as a rooster greeted the morning. Huh, must be starting out a bit early this time around. He got out of bed and stretched out when a few odd things were brought to his attention. First off was that this wasn’t the room he had growing up. Yet it was still somehow familiar. While the furniture didn’t exactly match up to what he normally used, and much of it seemed made for somebody of a far smaller stature than him, it was nonetheless arranged in the same kind of way he typically arranged his bedroom. The second odd thing was that he didn’t see the fields he was expecting when he looked out the window, rather there were acres of apple trees heavy with fruit. The thing that seemed the most out of place however was that also outside of the window he could see a bright red pony pouring seed into a small feeding trough for the chickens. Clark gave himself a quick look over. I still look human. How am I in an Equestrian Loop while still looking the way I usually do? As he tried to go over the possibilities a voice called out “Star Apple! Ya up yet?!”
“Yes, Granny.” he replied reflexively.
“Well hurry up and get down here for breakfast. We got a heap o’ work to get done with both the reunion and the Summer Sun Celebration commin’!”
“I’ll be down in a minute.” he answered and went over to his dresser to find something to wear. As he pulled out a faded pair of overalls and a red shirt he silently chuckled at what his loop memories were telling him. Landed on the wrong planet, huh?
Once he arrived downstairs Granny Smith handed him a stack of pancakes. “It’s about time. What took ya so long this mornin’?” she asked.
Clark took a seat next to Applejack and Applebloom. “Sorry Granny. I just woke up feeling a bit Loopy I guess.”
Applebloom didn’t seem to respond to that statement, but Applejack gave him a wink. “Know what you mean. Woke up feelin’ the same way myself. Wide Awake now though.”
“Well I’m glad to hear you’re full o’ beans this mornin’, ‘cause we’re gonna need it!” Granny exclaimed, missing out on the hidden meaning of the quick exchange between loopers. “Now Star Apple, I want ya to help Big Mac bring in enough apples to make food for the celebrations, and Applejack I need help getting some extra beds set up in the barn for those that are gonna have to stay the night. Camping out might be fine for you young sprouts, but us old folks are another thing altogether.”
“Yes Granny” the two replied before hurrying to finish their breakfast and get started on the chores for the day.
Clark, also known in his home loop as Superman, a being capable of moving planets, gave the tree in front of him a carefully measured kick, shaking the plant with enough force to cause the apples to fall down into the waiting baskets below. Somepony behind him whistled. “Well shoot, I was plannin’ on givin’ ya a few pointers, but it looks like yer applebuckin’ like a pro already.”
He turned back to see Applejack and shrugged at that statement. “In a sense I’ve been doing this for years already.”
Applejack chuckled at the reminder, “Yeah, got me there.” Then she took her hat off a glanced off to the side. “Look Clark, I feel really guilty about havin’ somepony who’s supposed to be a guest doing what’s normally my job. I can handle this while you go find somethin’ ya want to…”
Clark stopped Applejack with a finger to her mouth. “You don’t need to feel guilty about anything. I might not be used to apple farming, but I still grew up on a farm. Getting to do this for a few years sounds like a great way to spend a vacation loop to me. It’s almost like being back home.” He bent over to pick up the fruit-laden baskets with a pole, which he then balanced over his shoulders. “Besides, my name isn’t Clark this loop. Ma and Pa named me Star Apple, remember?”
“Alright, if that’s what ya want. Well, if ya’ll pardon me I need to get back before Granny wonders just where I’ve been off to.”
Star Apple accompanied Applejack back with his load while he thought to the upcoming gathering. If my memories are serving me correctly there’s always a few kids at each reunion who haven’t seen me before and they always end up gawking. I wonder if I should just roll with it and show off some tricks I can do to make it a real show for them?
169.6: (Edvarius)
Rarity groaned as she Awoke in bed. The pillow her head was resting on was damp from somebody’s hysterical crying, quite possibly her own. She lifted herself out of bed and quickly determined that she was apparently human in this loop, and also that this wasn’t her usual home. Oh well, this is hardly my first fused loop. The chambers themselves are quite lovely. Am I royalty this around? Although these clothes… The clothes would obviously have to go. She could understand wearing nothing but black, she’d obviously been crying pretty heavily before she Awoke and black was often used for mourning so that made sense at least, but why in Yggdrasil had the person she was replacing chosen such an unflattering one piece? She looked like a down-on-her-luck street performer, not a princess. Ugh, and I hate to think of what this hood is doing to my poor hair. Rarity walked over to the vanity and used the small basin of water there to wash her face before tugging her hood down to see about fixing her hair.
The hood didn’t budge.
Rarity pulled harder and harder, but the hood remained completely immobile. She tried tugging at the neckline, searched frantically for a zipper, anything, but the ugly outfit stuck fast to her like it was a part of her skin. A scream escaped from her throat as realization and her loop memories hit.
Link groaned as he walked up to the Kingdom of Hytopia once again. He was not fond of this latest expansion. Yes the people here needed help, but the problems here just seemed so ridiculous compared to what he was used to facing. But far worse however was that knowledge that sooner or later one of the others would find themselves here as well, and then he’d never hear the end of it. It didn’t matter how practical any of them might be, there were some pieces of equipment he could not allow his friends to know about. He could already hear Zelda laughing as she asked if he could borrow his gown for a state function, Ganondorf mocking his pink cheerleading miniskirt, or Ruto screaming in outrage at the Zora costume. Link was so fixated on the imagined screams that it took him a few seconds to realize there was actual screaming coming from the palace. All thoughts of embarrassment aside he rushed forward past the surprised guard at the gate, who did little more than call out to him as he shouldered his way past.
Link had imagined that the curse on Princess Styla could have been worse this time. She could have been turned into something monstrous instead of merely having to wear something she didn’t like. Possibly even injured or killed outright. What he did not expect was to see the familiar outfit still in sight but with an unfamiliar face. Or that the princess would be wrestling with her own guards.
“LET GO!” Rarity screamed as she fought for ownership of one of the guard’s spears.
“Please, your Highness, compose yourself!” Sir Combsley pleaded over King Tuft’s sobbing. “We’ve already put out a request for a hero. Soon somebody shall come and defeat the Lady of the Drablands. You don’t have to risk your life like this, just please have a little patience!”
“Patience?!” Princess Rarity yelled as she finally twisted enough to cause the guard to lose his grip on his weapon and sent him stumbling backwards. “Am I not a member of the royal family?! It is our duty to protect the realm and its culture! I cannot simply stand by and wait for somebody to come to fix our problems for us! I shall hunt down this so called Lady and put an end to her crimes against fabulosity myself!”
Link shrugged as King Tuft started blubbering something about the curse driving his little girl mad. At least this would be better than using those dolls. Though he wondered what he might have to bribe the visiting looper with in order to keep her quiet about this loop. She seemed as passionate about fashion as any of the actual natives of this land; maybe he could let her have her pick of his now extensive wardrobe before the loop ended?
169.7 (Fractalman)
A long bundle of pink hair sighed, and looked towards a yellow bundle of hair. "This is going to be an interesting loop," it said in a soft deadpan.
The yellow hairs looked at the pink hair "Ah'll say!"
Both bundles hit the ground as a pale blue bundle looked towards them. "Frankly, the great and hairy Trixie thinks this whole thing is ridiculous." It turned the other direction, towards a bundle of orange hair. "Big Macintosh, I'm guessing?"
"Eeyup," said the bundle.
Meanwhile, one hundred and eighty degrees away, a curling purple ribbon of hair spoke up. "Twilight, why are we--" and was promptly silenced by a sixth, stripy string of hair grabbing it.
A darker purple appendage sighed. "Well, momma, I don't normally mind being close to you, but this is ridiculous."
"HUZZAH! THE FUN HAS BEEN OCTUPLED!" boomed a final voice.
Crickets began to chirp.
The yellow bundle coughed politely. "Ahem. As y'all have noticed, we're a spider-mane this loop. More specifically, it's legs. Ah suggest we get a move on before we have a run in with a scissor-snatch, and let's try not to get all tangled up."
"Why is that manticore chasing us?!" yelled Applejack, as she ran via moving around in a circular pattern; the still unfamiliar motion was tricky enough on its own, even without the struggle to remain coordinated with the other manes. "We're not even on its menu, are we?"
"It's chasing us for the same reason that cats play with balls of yarn," Fluttershy explained. Applejack could have sworn she heard a faint "nature is so fascinating" out of Fluttershy.
The manticore lunged, mouth wide open.
"AIIIEEEEEE!" shrieked Rarity as the baby manticore bit into her. It didn't hurt, but the slobber felt absolutely gross.
Then the manticore started batting them around like a ball of yarn.
Several hours later, an extremely tangled, dirty, and twig-encrusted ball of mane-hair rolled its way into the spa, and explained the situation to a very sympathetic Aloe and Lotus.
"So, do ya think ya can get us untangled?" Applejack asked.
Aloe considered. "I...may have to cut a few strands here and there, but yes."
The ball shivered.
"Frankly, I don't like it, but I'd rather lose a few strands than be stuck like this for the next several years," Nyx said.
"Do whatever it takes to get me clean," Rarity declared.
169.8 (Gym Quirk)
Twilight felt just a little guilty about what she was about to do, but it was one of those itches that she had to scratch before she could get on with things.
"...Spare me your overblown ego! No group of friends, not even Princess Twilight's, is that important!" ranted Starlight Glimmer.
Before the unicorn could cast her disabling spell at Rainbow Dash, Twilight summoned an Alicorn Amulet from her Pocket — She'd long-ago worked out how to counteract its tendency to push its wearer toward megalomania — and used its power to cast a time-stop spell and a localized version of her Hold Pony enchantment to prevent Starlight from taking any additional actions.
"Excuse me for cheating; I'll release the spells after I've gotten a few things off my chest. We can go back to what we were doing when I'm done," the alicorn said.
"The fact that you can fight me to a standstill and your ability to adapt Starswirl's spell to your needs clearly shows that you are a unicorn of formidable talent and power. Quite possibly stronger than I was before I got my wings. We'll save discussion of how that works with your ideology of enforced equality for another time.
"But do you know what really bugs me about what you've decided to do with that ability? It's what you failed to do.
"You spent considerable effort researching me and my friends to find the critical point in time that links us. But you then ignored everything that we did for Equestria since then.
"Now, we don't go around bragging about our exploits — Except for Rainbow Dash, and even she prefers to focus on her flying over the five times we saved Equestria. Half the time, ponies don't even realize that I'm an alicorn, but I digress.
"You didn't bother to note the three stained glass windows in Canterlot Castle depicting how we redeemed Nightmare Moon, defeated Discord, and saved the Crystal Empire.
"You utterly failed to recognize the significance the Elements of Harmony and our link to them. Free hint: Their power is based on...wait for it...Friendship.
"You can only say that no group of friends is important to the fate of Equestria because you completely ignored any and all evidence to the contrary.
"We didn't ask for the dubious honor, but the fact is that we six were the wielders of the Elements: The only ponies able to employ their power against Equestria's enemies. And you decided that your lust for revenge overrode any possible negative outcome that their absence would have on everypony else!"
She took a deep calming breath.
"Computer. End program."
The cloudscape faded into a yellow grid on a black background. She slowly walked to the entrance arch, which obediently opened at her approach.
Well, at least I got that out of my system without inflicting it on any living ponies. Now I just need to work out a suitable trade with Apple Bloom so that she deletes her logfile of this session...
169.9
"Amateur," Trixie scoffed, as she and Twilight dropped back down behind the boulder.
"How is that amateur?" Twilight asked, indicating the activity in question with a toss of the head. "She's making one of our most dangerous opponents much more dangerous — and it's the one which ties into her conversion-and-alteration talent, too."
"Ah," Trixie said. "But it's a matter of style! Of subtlety! She's just given a pony with a big stick a bigger stick!"
"Trixie!" Twilight hissed. "Keep it down! I'd rather do this with finesse rather than just level the mountain."
"Fine," Trixie said, a little huffily. "Trixie will use subtlety."
"Uh oh..." Twilight muttered, noticing the switch to third person.
"Attention!" Trixie shouted, letting off a stream of fireworks. "Attention, so-called King Sombra and Starlight merest-glimmer-of-intellect!"
Twilight banged her head into the rock wall.
"You're new," Starlight said, looking up. "Come to join?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes!" Trixie said, flourishing her cloak. "Not to join the army, but to join the event! For Trrrixie Lulamoon, Most Awesome Pony Here, challenges you both to a duel!"
"Trixie..." Twilight moaned.
"I know that voice," Starlight said, voice contorted with hate for a moment. "Twilight goody-four-hooves Sparkle. What brings her here?"
"We walked," Trixie said, skipping how they'd gotten into the past. "Now! I hereby issue my challenge! Also declare victory."
Starlight blinked. "What?"
Then Sombra's entire army jumped on her and their erstwhile master.
"While Trixie was talking, she was reversing the polarity of the subliminals," Trixie explained, with a grand flourish. "And that, Twilight, is how you fight a time war."
"I'll stick to my normal, thanks," Twilight said delicately. "What do we do with them now?"
Trixie considered. "Well, we could just banish them to the moon. It's a classic."
169.10 (Masterweaver)
"...I can speak from personal experience when I say the power of cutie mark magic is very real," Twilight lectured. "My friends and I can trace our cutie marks back to a single event, something which happened even before we ever met. We've all wondered about what our lives would be like if we had a different mark, and for most ponies that would be all that it would be — idle speculation. However, there is a talented unicorn who has managed to make impressive strides in the study of cutie marks, and I feel it would only be appropriate to invite her up to speak. Starlight Glimmer, would you come down here please?"
The look of shock on the pinkish unicorn's face was, Twilight reluctantly admitted, quite amusing. As was the sudden blinking and glancing about by the few other ponies in the know.
However, Starlight quickly schooled her face into a polite smile, standing and walking down the stairs cautiously. "I'm terribly sorry, princess, I wasn't expecting this at all. I have nothing prepared!"
"Why don't you explain the principles behind your cutie mark alteration spell?" Twilight offered. "If nothing else, it would be fascinating from a scholarly point of view."
Starlight shot her a look as she stepped up to the podium. "Ahem. The spell which I developed was intended to provide a pony a chance to retreat from their own destiny if said destiny got to be too... overwhelming. The operation included a temporary removal of the cutie mark, followed by the installation of a spell form on the subject and the placement of the cutie mark into a magically sealed environment. The spell form, located on the subject's flank, would suppress the ability directly leading to the cutie mark — the special talent, if you will — so as to allow the pony to explore other abilities; it also prevents the subject from developing a second mark while the first is hermetically sealed. The marks themselves do have a natural attraction to the personal magic which generated them, hence the storage."
"While I admit that I was a little unnerved when I discovered Starlight's retreat," Twilight interjected smoothly, "I feel I can understand the motivation behind its founding. It was, unfortunately, forcefully decommissioned shortly after I left, due to political strife in the region. However, while I personally did not enjoy the treatment, the potential for temporary removal of cutie marks to assist in psychological therapy was intriguing enough for me to set locating Starlight as one of my long-term goals — especially after I learned she was forced to vacate the region rather quickly."
"You give me far too much credit, Princess," Starlight said, only the faintest of growls entering her voice.
"Not at all! It really is an impressive spell..."
169.11 (masterofgames)
Twilight had a plan. It was a cunning plan. As cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning, if she could borrow a phrase from that one cynical British looper she had once met.
It would require a few loops to get the full version down, but really, Starlight had handed her the victory personally. All she really had to do was zap mini-Starlight when the present day one took her back in time to explain her point. But Twilight WAS a pony, and as such, violence was not the answer to problems for her.
Unless VERY comedic.
And so, with one question, the plan began.
"Well what about you? Your cutie mark must mean something, or you would have removed it as well!"
Starlight scowled. "It means something alright. The spark represents friendship, and the smoke, just how easily it can evaporate into nothing for the sake of something meaningless, like talent! It's proof that— are you taking NOTES!?"
"Yep. All I needed. Thanks! Bye!"
"See!? There I am! Left back while my friend—"
Twilight hit Starlight with a stunner mid sentence, then leaned in the window to mini-Starlight. "Don't just sit there! Go to him!" She called quickly. "He'll probably be going to a special magic school! Go make sure he won't feel alone while he's away!"
Mini-Starlight's eyes widened in shock, and she quickly darted out the door, never noticing as her own mark appeared, representing friendship, and how something meaningless, like a moment of inaction, not working to keep it, could threaten it, making it all the more beautiful and precious in the first place.
This, in turn, got her sent to school right alongside her friend.
The Starlight next to Twilight on the ground faded away.
"—and then everything was fine when I got back, but things went to hell a week later because I didn't make her my student, so she wasn't here!" Twilight ranted to Berry as she downed yet another drink, levitating the glass to the top of a pyramid she was building with her tale of frustration. "A-and when I tried to fix that, She became Celestia's student instead of Sunset, and the Sirens returned! And after that, SHE wound up princess instead of me, and Tirek took over! And then the changelings brainwashed Sombra and took over the Crystal Empire! And then Sombra possessed Flam! And then Discord attacked Saddle Arabia instead of Canterlot and Ponyville! And then there were the yaks, and the bugbear, and Trixie, all at once! And then... t-then..." she sniffed, her lip trembling as she fought to hold her emotions back, before giving it up as a lost cause.
"I BUCKING HATE TIME TRAVEL!!!" she broke down sobbing, using her magic to yank Berry into a bone crushing hug and crying on her shoulder.
Berry sighed and patted Twilight on the back. "There there. We can always find an answer once you calm down. Maybe we should talk about this another loop? One where you AREN'T a weepy drunk?"
169.12 (Masterweaver)
"...Why'd ya use a venn diagram in this slide?"
Twilight blinked. "What?"
Apple Bloom pointed. "Here. You've got me and the other Crusaders in a three-part venn diagram. And... Okay, Ah get the shield in the center, but why am Ah sharin' mah appleheart with Scoots? And Sweetie's starsong with Sweetie — hang on, is mah circle the dark purple one? That's Scootaloo's mane color, Ah should be the red one!"
"I... it was an easy graphic, and I was half tired," Twilight admitted. "I didn't really think about the venn diagram part... how would you have done it?"
"Shield as the backdrop, each o' us in the center o' the column with our mane color, with the outer emblem below and the inner emblem above."
"...huh. Okay, I'll update it..."
169.13 (Masterweaver)
"Octavia, I have something really important I have to—"
"SWEET CELESTIA, YOU CAN TALK?!"
Vinyl rolled her eyes. "Yes. Yes I can. Now stop pressing yourself against the wall so I can—"
"You can talk. You can talk. I... I have to reassess my entire world view." Octavia slid down the wall, her hooves pressed against her forehead.
"There's actually something else that's really important. You see—"
"Why have I never heard you talk before?!" the cellist demanded. "I mean, we've been roommates for— we've been dating for years, Vinyl!"
"That's because I couldn't talk before," Vinyl explained patiently. "But now—"
"What?! Did you have, have some sort of corrective surgery without me knowing?! Vinyl, that could have been dangerous—!"
"This book will explain everything." Vinyl produced the journal from thin air, putting it on the table.
"Did you cast a spell on yourself—?"
"Yes."
"Vinyl, self casting can—"
"Have horrible side effects."
"Can you not act so casual about—"
"I knew what I was doing, Tavi. Look." She pushed the book forward. "Do you want to read the explanation yourself, or do you want me to explain it? Because if you keep acting hysterical, I'll leave you to it."
Octavia just stared at her.
"...I... I'm still trying to get over the idea of you, um... talking."
"Take your time."
169.14 (Kris Overstreet)
"There's one magic you can never take away, Tirek!" Twilight Sparkle said for the umpty-hundredth-thousandth-whateverth time. "And that's the most powerful magic of all! The magic of fri—"
The glow of Rainbow Power flickered out as Twilight Sparkle fell to the ground, having been struck unconscious by a suspicious-looking forked stick.
"Twilight Sparkle has fallen!"
The other five Elements spun around in midair to look at the unicorn hovering in the air behind them. She kind of looked like a certain equality-obsessed pony... except, instead of shades of blue, this one was white with a red and white streaked mane. Behind the newcomer, something wooden clattered to the earth below.
"But fear not! I, Starscream Glimmer, shall be your new leader! Ponies of Friendship, follow me to victory!"
Applejack muttered to Rarity, "D'ya think she's Awake? He. Whatever. You know?"
Rarity glanced over at a glaring Tirek, and down to the ground where Twilight Sparkle was rubbing her head with one hoof and looking up with blood in her eyes. "He'll be sound asleep in a few minutes, darling," she muttered in reply, "one way or the other."
169.15: (Anon e Mouse Jr.)
Twilight looked at her friends as they stood around the Chest of Harmony. "Together! We have to do this together!"
"Mm-hmm!" Six hooves reached out, and together turned the keys.
Six locks clicked.
Six panels opened.
And with a flash of light, something unexpected happened.
"Hi, everypony! You wouldn't believe what I've been up to!" A familiar wall-eyed pegasus popped her head out of the chest. "What have you been doing?"
Twilight blinked. "Derpy? What - what are you doing in there?"
Derpy shrugged. "Long story." Looking upward, her eyes narrowed. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." Her wings flaring, she launched out of the chest, and towards Tirek, who was still wreaking havoc.
Twilight looked at the others, who were staring after Derpy, their eyes wide. "Um, girls? I think we might want to see this."
There was a round of nods, before six ponies, one dragon and a draconequus ran for the exit.
Back outside, as Tirek unleashed another fiery blast from his jaws, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. "Hmm... looks like another pony's still out there. Well, it won't get me much magic, but I'll still take it!" He turned, and stared.
A now giant Derpy stood before him. "HI TIREK!"
"No... it can't be... it can't! I - you - AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" The gigantic centaur promptly turned around and made tracks for Tartarus, screaming all the way.
Derpy blinked Awake at that moment, just in time to see the centaur-made trail of dust passing over a hill. "What did I say?"
Then, the Loop Memories hit. "Oh."
Meanwhile, in Tartarus, three Alicorn Princesses were sitting where Tirek had chained them. Then, Luna's ear quirked. "Sister, do you hear... screaming?"
There was a loud rush of wind, and a familiar "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" as Tirek ran past them.
Then, he paused. "Here, have your magic back, and get out of here! Just keep her away from me!" Tossing several orbs of magic their way, he ran off, still screaming.
Celestia blinked as she reabsorbed her stolen magic, and levitated several more of the orbs. "I knew Twilight was good, but even I didn't think she could scare Tirek that badly."
Taking wing, she led the other two Alicorns out of Tartarus, and back towards Ponyville.
Several hours later, with explanations made and all of the stolen magic returned, the group was sitting in the newly-formed castle, where Derpy, having shrunk back down to her normal size, was cuddling her daughter. "So that's how you got in that box?" Twilight asked.
Derpy nodded. "And when I got out of it and saw Tirek again, I used one of my alternate Cutie Mark talents to blow myself up like a balloon and scared him off!" She giggled. "Guess he remembers me from the first time I helped send him to Tartarus."
Twilight nodded. "That would make sense." She paused, and gestured to the circle of thrones, including one with a familiar set of seven bubbles on its back, and a smaller throne next to it. "So, do you and Dinky want to join us?"
Dinky, her eyes wide, looked up at Derpy. "Can we, momma?"
"Of course, muffin," Derpy told her with a smile.
169.16: (Anon e Mouse Jr.)
Twilight Sparkle was a mare with a plan.
In the past, she'd used several different ways of handling Starlight Glimmer and her village. Now, she had a new tactic she wanted to try out, and while the basic strategy had proven effective before, she'd never tried this particular variation.
Shaking her head before she got too lost in her thoughts, she turned to watch the villagers and Starlight, so she didn't miss her cue. Ah, here we go… just in time.
Starlight Glimmer's face was bright red as she ranted. "I brought you friendship! I brought you equality! I created harmony!"
Twilight raised a hoof. "I brought a hug-happy draconequus."
Starlight barely had time to blink in bewilderment before Discord popped out of nowhere and glomped her.
Watching the baffled unicorn as she hung in Discord's arms, too surprised to move, Twilight smirked. If you can't reason with them, confuse them.
169.17: (The One Butcher)
"Hello, I am Twilight Sparkle. I'm a completely normal Pony. And I came here to check on the food for the Summer Sun Celebration."
If Applejack thought the brightly smiling Pony in front of her seemed a tad strange, that was only corroborated when upon sampling her family cooking she exclaimed: "That food tastes great! Because I am a Pony and those eat food!"
Applejack was suspicious, but she still seemed nice enough when she smiled warmly at her. "Your Apples are grown with so much love and all that food is brim full of it, it feels just..." She trailed off in horror. “I mean I can see that! Somehow! You know, because it's so good, it has to have been made with... with... care, yes, I mean care! I'm a Pony, after all and Ponies cannot feel the love that went into stuff! Anyway it was really nice meeting you, but I really must tend to the rest of my chores. You know how we Ponies are, always busy building and making and tending to stuff!" With that she was off.
Darn, thought Applejack that was one suspicious...
…
Well, probably not a Pony.
A cheery shout greeted Rainbow Dash just as she prepared herself for her Routine.
"Hello fellow Pony! With Wings! That would be a...", the purple mare looked at a sheet of paper for a second, “Pegasus! Anyway Hivequeen... — I mean Princess Celestia told me to make sure you cleared the clouds. I cannot go up there and do it myself, because I'm a Pony and not a Changeling- Er I mean I'm a unicorn and not a pegasus!"
“What's a Changeling?" asked Rainbow, only to have the mare go into overdrive.
“WHAT? I'm not a Changeling! I'm a Pony! I... I mean a Changeling? Where? I don't see any Changelings! Only completely normal Ponies wherever you look!", she said with a panicked rictus.
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Sure... you're a normal Pony." she stated in a deadpan voice.
She didn't expect the Changeling to visibly relax and let out a huge sigh of relief. “That's good. I mean, yes. I am a completely normal Pony. Anyway, the clouds! I cannot help you because Unicorns, that's what I am, a Pony with one horn, cannot fly. Unlike what you are, a..."
“Pegasus.", Rainbow helped the completely normal Pony.
“Unlike a Pegasus!" She said brightly. She then turned away a little and wondered: “What do gaseous pegs have to do with wings?"
“Yeah, anyway the clouds are no problem, I'll do them later."
The Changeling visibly deflated. “But I have to have seen the clear skies to make a check on my checklist. I still have to check a ton of other stuff... Oh, this will take much too long and then I'll make Miss Fluttershy wait and I can't keep that Promise I made to that really cool Pink Pony."
“Fluttershy? A Pinkie Promise? Don't worry! I'll clear those skies in ten seconds flat!" And boy did she do that. The Changeling was staring at her slack jawed.
“You... you're that filly who made the sky explode! When I was in Cloudsdale that one time I saw that huge wave of Magic that shattered reality and substituted its own! Uh... I mean I... I heard there was that huge awesome explosion in Cloudsdale! I wasn't there before today, because, you know I am a Unicorn and not a Chan... Not a Pegasus. Anyway, see you at the Celebration, I gotta run!"
Rainbow Dash watched the Changeling run away. Her razor wit made several deductions: Changelings look like Ponies. Changelings pretend to be Ponies. Changelings aren't Ponies. If that was a Changeling and I haven't ever heard of them they probably blend in pretty well. Changeling... Change... She's a Shapeshifter! Also that mare is Fail on four legs... If there's a conspiracy of Shapeshifters... Then she's the weak link! And a fan...
I better watch out for her. Even if she's not dangerous, I might need to protect her from herself.
"Thank you Rarity!" The strange Unicorn that came to her with a slightly mussed up mane said, "I am after all a normal Pony. I can't just, Poof, make myself look nice again like a Changeling. So your help was very appreciated. And you put so much love in your work, it's just deli... I mean it's very friendly of you."
"Very good my friends! If you sing like that tomorrow Princess Celestia is sure to love it. That's all for today then, see you tomorrow." While most of the flock arced over her, one of the birds landed on her nose.
"Yes Mr. Piperson? You don't trust the Royal Inspector? What inspector?" The bird pointed behind her. When she turned she saw a purple unicorn conversing softly with the other birds.
"Oh." On the one hand that was a strange pony, on the other hand it was one that could talk to animals, just like her!
"That's a Royal Inspector? Oh, my, did she like the song? But... why don't you trust her?" The bird squeaked and flapped his wings and then looked shiftily from side to side and put his wings in front of his face.
"It's not a Pony at all, but some kind of Monster posing as one?" Well. If it was some kind of animal... Now that she thought about it it didn't seem threatening to her at all and it's body language reminded her more of a dog than a Pony. A cuddly dog that had eaten a lot. Oh my, a whole new species! But wait, if it was some kind of Shapeshifting predator and it turned into a Pony that meant it ate Ponies!
"Hey! Who are you?" Fluttershy rushed to the strange animal. If she didn't think of it as a Pony she could do this!
"Hello! I am Twilight Sparkle! I am a completely normal Pony and I have come here to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration! Hivequeen Celestia send me here, to make use of my Unique talents to..." The being froze.
"Er, I mean, my Special Talent, you know, these Magical Pony thingies! Which I have, because I'm not a Changeling! Which is uh...", the monster checked it's flank with a puzzled expression, "Uh... Magic? Anyway, Celestia send me and I have already met two of your friends, who fed me and... I mean... Applejack fed me, because I eat food and not love! I am a Pony you know!"
Fluttershy nearly couldn't hold herself back... It was sooooo cute! "Oh yes!" She said. "You are a real Pony, completely normal!"
The Changeling smiled. "YES!", then it looked embarrassed, "I mean, yes, of course."
It was just precious. On the other hoof, if it fed on love, that is probably intentional, just like how flowers smell nice.
"Anyway, I just checked in with your birds and they say everything is ready for tomorrow."
One of the birds chirped at her. It had a deadpan expression. "They can't? But... I've seen her talk to you!" She looked at Fluttershy and asked with a pleading expression: "Ponies can talk to animals, can't they?"
Fluttershy looked at her apologetically. "Most can't, but some, like me get it as their special talent."
"Uh..." the Changeling looked panicked.
Fluttershy took pity on it. "Well, Miss Twilight, if your special talent is Magic you probably went and learned a Spell that lets you talk to animals and cast it before you came here, didn't you?"
"Oh! Yes that is clever! Yes, that is it! I used a Spell that makes me able to understand everyone! Thank you Fluttershy for the ideeeeeinsight. Insight I mean. Anyway, I see you have the Music in hoof. Until later, at the Celebration! I need to find my lodgings." With that the Changeling started to trot off.
Fluttershy panicked. It was so young and inexperienced! What if the Ponies in town try to hurt it, because it's a monster! I have to protect it! "Wait!"
"Well why of course you can come in Fluttershy! I am a Pony after all and Ponies are very welcoming!" She turned towards the door and took a step back. "Ohh! Friendship!" she closed her eyes in bliss and trotted forward, slamming into the door.
"Oh! What a delicious Party!" she said after not being surprised at all, "Thank you Pinkie Pie! I mean, the food is Delicious! Because I am a Pony! And Ponies like delicious food. Yum Yum." She seemed to eye the cupcake in her hooves suspiciously, before analyzing it with her magic, "Mashed and heat treated dead plants? Er, I mean, my favorite!"
"You are Luna, the other Princess of the Ponies which vanished one thousand years ago!" the strange Changeling without self preservation shouted at the Dark Alicorn. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchanged a glance, grabbed her and dragged her away. Rarity and Pinkie Pie followed.
"Why did you do that?" the cornered Changeling asked defensively, "I'm not a Spy!"
Rainbow Dash couldn't let that go uncommented: "Well, yeah. We believe you. Nobody in their right mind would ever make YOU a spy."
"WHAT?" the creature exclaimed in sudden indignation, "I am a very skilled infillllllll... I mean, yeah! I'm not a spy at all, just a Pony!" she laughed.
"Anyway," interrupted Applejack, "Yah said yah're friends with Celestia and Ah believe that is true. You knew who that evil Princess was and seem pretty knowledgeable in gen'ral. Maybe if'n we all knew more about her we could come up with a better plan of action than shoutin’ at her."
Twilight blinked. "Well... She was said to have been defeated a thousand years ago. The legend doesn't properly describe how, but there's a Changeling legend of this powerful Superweapon of the Ponies, the reason why even the Dragons are afraid of you. They are... the Elements of Ponydom."
“The Kindness of Ponies was represented by Fluttershy accepting all creatures as equal. The Loyalty of Ponies was represented by Rainbow Dash standing by her Friends in the face of all her desires being offered to her. The Laughter of Ponies was represented by Pinkie Pie banishing your evil illusions with her powerful feelings, while accepting mine because... I mean accepting my feelings of friendship! I don't use illusions!"
“But that's only five! The Spark didn't work!"
"They don't need a sixth Pony. Ponies get their Magic from within and don't have to collect it. But that doesn't mean they cannot use the power of their feelings. Just like they can share their power with a Changeling, they can give power to each other. The last Element is shared by them all. It is their Friendship. Friendship brings forth the last and sixth Element. The last and most powerful of the Elements of Ponykind: Pony Magic!"
With that a bright light shone forth from over her head, coalescing into the Tiara of Magical annihilation and Mind-Hugs. Nightmare Moon was blasted like always, but Twilight made sure to use less power than the first time and compensate with fine control. So no one was unconscious this time.
"I... I don't understand..." Twilight said with water from a small bottle she put in her pocket in her eyes. “The legends all say the Elements cannot be used by Monsters. When other Changelings or even Draconequi tried to take them it didn't work. Only a true friend can handle them." She looked around at the others, who looked at her with sympathetic tears of their own. Maybe she laid it on a bit too thick?
“Twilight," Fluttershy spoke for the others, “No matter who or what you are. No matter what happens, I am a hundred per cent sure that you are not a Monster."
“Yeah." “Yup." “Absolute Telutely!" “Indeed, darling."
They all joined in a group hug. There was a moment of contented silence.
“Yeah," Twilight finally said, “I'm a Pony after all!"
“Yes, Princess Celestia. It's... It's a shame I cannot stay in Equehhh... I mean I cannot stay in Ponyville with my new friends..." Twilight looked to her new friends really sadly and their hearts went out to her. Who cares if she is strange or a Changer or anything, she's a good filly at heart.
Princess Celestia was already ahead of them.
“Raven, take a note please! I, Princess Celestia, degree, that the Unicorn Twilight Sparkle, shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the Magic of Friendship. She must report to me her findings, from her new home in Ponyville!"
Everypony cheered at that announcement. With a Royal decree stating it their new friend was a Unicorn before the Law, she could thus stay in Equestria forever and to them that was all that mattered.
“Oh thank you Princess Celestia! I'll be a good citizen! And I'll study the Magic of Friendship harder than ever before!"
“Spike! You are in Equestria!"
“Sparkle! Nice fur! So glad to see you! And you look so healthy and well fed! Did you finally get a coltfriend?"
“Oh, you... This is Spike, one of my very first friends. I met him out in the lone plains of... of Canterlot! Anyway he really helped me out when I was hungry, because he came to love me like a sister and... I mean he was making sure I eat properly when studying late nights! He... helped me as my assistant in the Library of Canterlot! With shelving books and writing letters and stuff." Twilight said nervously.
The four Ponies (and one shivering fothergilla, complete with pink tail) looked at the forty foot Draconic Library assistant, who shrugged. Then back to Twilight Sparkle, the completely normal Pony and not a Changeling. They just nodded in unison.
“Anyway: This is Prince Spykoranuvellitar of Equestria, adopted son of Princess Celestia, you should listen to her talk about him! It's absolutely hilarious, because she can't get over how quickly he grew up! And Spike's not even a Changeling, who grow to adulthood in a few weeks, he's a Dragon and so he's centuries old and she still calls him a Baby! No wonder Celestia never had Pony children."
Spike lowered himself down to Twilight's level and said: "Ha. Ha. I see you still haven't learned when to stay quiet about anything. Revealing that was highly rude."
“Oh... I... shouldn't have said that about Celestia, you really love her. Uh... Anyway, these are my friends! Applejack is an Earth Pony and the Element of Honesty. But," she whispered, loudly enough for everypony to hear, “Celestia gave me a Royal Decree stating that I'm legally a Unicorn. Therefore she can't find out my secret when I tell her that I'm not a Changeling."
Spike rolled his eyes and whispered back loudly: “That is good. I was almost worried someone would find out." He winked at Twilight, who winked back really obviously.
“Next we have Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter who uses her power to make everyone laugh which strengthens her powers which helps her making ponies laugh and so on in a positive feedback loop. By now physics are just gentle suggestions to her and she can look into the future. Rainbow Dash is the Element of Loyalty. When she defends her friends she too can break the laws of physics, but with her Iced Fig Newton's laws of motion shatter in a giant Explosion of Rainbow colored light."
Rainbow digested that information. Oh. So that's why I never managed a second Rainboom. She took a glance at the fothergilla. I defended Fluttershy's honor back then.
“Oh, ein Greif. Ich hab schon lange keinen Greif mehr gesehen! Mein Name ist Twilight Sparkle! Ich bin ein Pony und kein Wechselbalg!“ Twilight spoke in unaccented east Griffish.
Gilda raised an eyebrow. "Bist du dir sicher, das du ohne deine Mama hier sein darfst?“
"Excuse me Miss Trixie," Twilight interrupted before Rarity took the stage, “but a PONY wouldn't brag that much." Twilight's friends made abortive gestures. “Are you sure you are a real Pony? Ponies are kind and nice and honest and loyal and they take you in, even if you are a... a completely normal Pony and not a Changeling at all!"
Trixie took the bait like it was made of the MMMM. “Well. That is suspicious as heck! I think we have a Changeling Spy in our midst! Seize her!"
“HAHA!" Countered the unicorn, "I have here a Royal Decree by Princess Celestia herself, stating that I am legally a Unicorn living in Ponyville! And as such only the crown or a certified fire or health inspector can throw me out of Ponyville!"
Twilight's knowledge came in handy here, because absolutely paradoxically: “Double Haha! I have actually a certificate of qualification as a fire safety inspector! I needed it for my fireworks!" There happened to be a clinically insane examiner for the Bureau of Magical and Fire safety. (Or not, baseline Trixie had some restraint.)
“Just one apple bucking minute," Applejack cut in. “Everyone here knows what Twilight is and we love her anyway."
Rarity came forth next: "And Princess Celestia herself has really given her a special dispensation to live in Ponyville. If you throw her out she'll probably revoke your certificate. My, to think, being known as the Pony who went against the express wishes of Princess Celestia over petty racism would surely do wonders for your career."
Finally Rainbow chimed in: "Not to forget that the Princess of the Night and an Elder Dragon both have a personal interest in this mare's wellbeing and happiness and will probably messily kill whoever harms a hair on her head."
With her friends readily coming to her defense and shutting the show off down hard they didn't need to step on stage to be humiliated. After the Ursa attacked and Twilight put it back to bed like the unruly foal it was the "Fail on four legs." was met with disbelieving stares: "What? It's not that hard to tame one little bear if you are a well fed... Pony with so many friends who love you." Twilight's friends saw the "cute little fella" in a new light and began to understand what it meant to overfeed a Changeling.
"Yeah" Twilight said with a half choked sob. "I mean, this is Ponyville... We... We are all ponies here. We don't... we don't want any Zebras or... or Changelings in this town, do we?" Twilight was a mess. Snot dripping from her sniveling nose, tears running down her face, her eyes red. A Changeling's shapeshifting, it seemed, transplanted their emotions right on their face. That might explain why the book had said that most Changelings tend to train themselves to be emotionless.
All her friends looked at Twilight with horrified realization and began to talk over each other.
“What, no! It's not because she's not a Pony! It's because she lives in a spooky forest infested with Mons..." Fluttershy began.
Only to be cut off by Rainbow's hoof in her mouth: "We mean the Everfree is dangerous and weird and," hoof meet mouth.
"We mean it's dangerous in there, why would yah live there unless yah git something ta hide—" this dainty white hoof was covered in a blue hoofkerchief, but it did the job valiantly.
"Not that there's anything wrong with that, everyone has their secrets an—mpf." Pinkie wanted in on the fun even though Rarity hadn't said anything tactless.
"Ah! They must be evil bad secrets, not harmless normal ones, like if you are a Pony or not!" Pinkie finished and snatched Fluttershy's hoof with her mouth to complete the circle, grinning around the yellow appendage.
“The Everfree Forest is also full of the kinds of magical plants which Zebra healers need." Twilight said miserably. “She's probably just a doctor."
The others looked at each other. Then let out a collective sigh, muffled by the hooves in their mouths. “C'm'n g'ls!" Applejack broke the hoofie chain with a "ptooey", much to Rarity's dismay.
"C'mon gals! We faced off against Nightmare Moon and our not-a-Changeling's well fed enough to take on an Ursa Miner. We'll go talk to her."
“Look, I've found a spell to give a Pony Wings!" Twilight told her friends before the best Young Fliers' competition. "Now I have an excuse, I mean, now I have a way to have wings again! For the first time!"
Something was strange... Where was Photo Finish? It was about the right time for her to show up. Twilight looked around Ponyville for the mare and finally found Rarity and Fluttershy discussing Fluttershy's modeling career. “No, really... it's... wonderful." Fluttershy lied.
Ah, I get it. Nobody wants to tell her any secrets. Well, that meant she didn't have to promise anything!
“But Fluttershy, how can that be true? I can't feel anything you like about it." Fluttershy jumped at Twilight's presence and made abortive gestures.
“Ah!", she leaned over and whispered loudly, “You just do it to spare Rarity's feelings." It wasn't often that Fluttershy facehoofed, but when she did, it was because of Twilight Sparkle the absolutely normal Pony. Who leaned over to Rarity. “And you can't tell Fluttershy that you don't like her modeling for the Pony which betrayed you, because you think she must like modeling."
Twilight leaned back and sat on her haunches. “Ponies are really weird in how they can talk to each other without really saying what they mean."
“Betrayed?" Fluttershy asked confused.
“Well, Rarity wanted her to photograph her creations, but Finish, who doesn't like fashion, only modeling and presentation, absconded with her exclusive model and made her her own. Now, Rarity is angry at Finish, but can't say anything because she doesn't want to ruin your chance to make it big. Ponies however cannot really conceive how other Ponies think and can only haphazardly model other's feelings. Therefore she never realized, that making it big is the last thing you want and that you would actually love to help her pay back Photo Finish for the backstabbing." Twilight lectured. “I am actually considering a thesis on comparative psychology and group dynamics in non-empathic magical species. It's really interesting how Ponies just assume other minds work like their own. Especially considering their Special Talents giving each Pony unique mental structures. I mean nobody ever realized how Rainbow's special talent established a direct link between her senses and her memories while using it, to give her perfect memory and situational awareness while in flight."
"Pssst Discord, let me tell you my plan."
"Ha, a Changeling could never successfully wield the Elements against me!" exclaimed the Lord of Chaos, "She's not really your friend. Your friend would be honest, wouldn't she? She just wants you to feed her," he said with a sinister expression.
“So what?" called Applejack, "The rest of Ponyville wants me to feed them too! It's my Cutie Mark even! And about Honesty? Twilight couldn't tell a lie to save her life, I've seen that with my own eyes more times than I can imagine. Literally! We had to cover for her! But apart from that she's the best friend anypony, no, anyone could hope for."
With that Twilight released another pulse normalizing Discord's latest target.
“ARGH!" the Draconequus Twilight reformed with a twenty minute presentation as soon as he came out of the statue screamed at the harmless light, "You damned Ponies haven't seen the last of me. And without a proper Element of Pony's Magic to defeat me I can try again and again!"
And so Discord did his temptations and attacks again and again until the Elements managed to corner him one last time, with a plan to banish him from this dimension once and for all (he agreed to retire to a certain island for the four years Twilight's prank would take).
It was Fluttershy's turn for the rousing speech: "Twilight might be a Changeling..." "I'M NOT!" "She might have been born a Changeling," "Lies! Slander!" "But she is our friend and if she wants to she can be a Pony. In fact, she is so Funny, Kind, Loyal, Generous and Magical, she is the Greatest Pony there is!" "Don't forget Honest!"
"Yeah," Rainbow rolled her eyes, "Honest..."
With that the Elements fully activated and the swirling Rainbow of light took hold of Discord and pushed him into the portal. His final curse echoing throughout the landscape: "DAMN YOU PONIES! YOU MIGHT HAVE CHASED ME OFF, BUT CHANGELINGS NEVER GET OLDER THAN FOUR HUNDRED YEARS! AND THEN I WILL BE BAAAAAAAAAAaack!"
Twilight looked at the Cakes strangely. It was Twilight's birthday and they and Pinkie Pie had just delivered a ginormous cake. "Wait a minute." She told her friends. "You told me the Cakes were expecting a foal! But if the Cakes are here and Pinkie Pie is here and nearly everyone in Ponyville is here at this Party too: Who's watching the Egg? What if it dries out, or gets too hot or too cold!" Twilight nearly seemed to panic. Her friends looked at her funny again. Then Fluttershy had an epiphany.
"Don't worry Twilight. The Foal is completely safe. Ponies are Mammals."
"Oh, yes, I knew that. Mammals. Could you wait just a minute while I go powder my nose?" With that she went to the other side of the room and hid behind the couch... For certain values of hid, if you counted her tail and her ears sticking out. A few books floated from a shelf right next to them and also vanished behind the couch.
"Melanism, Mendelian, Malpighian, malignant... Ah, Mammal. Mumble mumble." The ears vanished.
There was a pause.
Then there was a loud exclamation:"EEWWWWW!"
“Shining Armor is getting married? Oh! He's that Royal Guard whose family helped me come to Equestria! He's like a brother to me." Twilight looked at them in horror. “Oh wait, he... he... IS my brother! His family helped me come to Equestria, because they are, like totally my parents! So they brought me into this world and so brought me into Equestria! Clever, huh? I mean, that's totally the truth."
"Where is little Spike?" Celestia asked the assembled mares, only to receive a snort from Rainbow Dash, "I wanted to put him in charge of the Bachelor Party. As Shining Armor is the Captain of the Royal Guard it would get out of hoof otherwise."
"He's napping." Twilight answered.
"Ah, okay, it's just been a while since I've seen him, but as a baby dragon it's important he gets his sleep." She was a little disappointed that the Element of Loyalty was snickering at Spike. But then again...
"Ah, I understand. The little guy is in that phase where he tries too hard to act grown up, isn't he?" she smiled knowingly at the Elements, causing them all to start snickering, even Rarity not managing to hide an unladylike snort.
"Everyone!" Twilight's eyes shifted from left to right. They had never seen her so nervous or flustered before. "There's something I have to tell you! There's..." she hesitated, "a Magical race of beings... They can shapeshift to look like anyone they want and there could be one of them hiding everywhere as anyone and you wouldn't notice! They sometimes kidnap and replace a Pony and feed on the love other Ponies have for them and if they feed on true love, they can become stronger than even Celestia. These Mystical Beings are called..."
"Changelings," Rainbow Dash preempted her, “We know. It's the kind of thing you are not. Geez..."
"How do you know?" Twilight Sparkle asked confusedly.
"Oh, you might have let that name slip once..." Rainbow drawled, “...a minute. For the last two years. And we kind of read up on them, just in case they were allergic to something or had some kind of weakness we had to pay attention to and avoid."
"Uh..." asked the purple being nervously, "why would you want to avoid Changeling weaknesses?"
"No reason."
"Anyway," the Most Definitely a Pony continued with a relieved expression, “there's a few ways to tell if someone is a Changeling. For once a Changeling will always be able to notice another Changeling and communicate with them silently. And there are some other ways, which I can't remember off the top of my head... I mean which I used to cleverly deduce that the bride has been abducted and replaced with a Changeling!"
Applejack turned to her friends and shrugged:"Well... I guess she's the expert."
"Haha! That spell has evicted all Changelings from Canterlot!"
"You mean all enemy Changelings, Twilight," Rainbow snarked.
Shining Armor was confused by this:"Huh? Why? Were there any friendly Changelings? If so, I'm sorry, but that spell was indiscriminate, to give it a friend or foe recognition... well, it's not impossible, but that would have probably chucked out Blueblood too."
"Huh?", said Rainbow, “You're kidding. You're kidding, right?
Celestia stepped up to the trio. "No, if you had any friends among the Changelings, I'm sorry; that Spell worked specifically against all Changelings."
...
...
"What?"
...
...
"Why are you looking at me like that? I've been telling you I wasn't a Changeling from day one."
The morning before the one thousandth Summer Sun Celebration had Applejack get in some last minute bucking when Applejack noticed a pony standing next to her. She stood ramrod straight, almost as if she was standing at attention. "Good. Morning. Are. You. The. Pony. With. Personal. Designation. Applejack. Apple? I. Am. The. Pony. Situated. Completely. Within. One. Standard. Deviation. Of. The. Expected Value. Of. An. Equestrian's. Ponydom. With. Item. Designation. Twilight. Sparkle. And. Not. An. Aperture. Science. Hydraulorobotic. Pony. Device."
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What are you thinking?
Whoa there, Hades!
No kidding?
Wow, you're serious.
Oh yeah.
The Cutie ReMark.
HOW?!
Not impossible.
DO IT!
You're magnificent, kid.
Guess so.
He's got a point. Plus, he's used to holding back so as not to do too much damage.
That's not good.
As you wish.
Needed to vent, huh?
This can only end well.
Goddammit Trixie.
Fascinating.
It could honestly be useful for ponies who've had, cutie mark trouble to the point where they need psychological help, like you said.
Quite.
That's, kinda dark.
There, there, Twilight.
HEH!
This is absolutely amazing.
Whu?
Well, it works.
Not buying it I see.
Daaw!
Translation?
Wow.
You lie worse than Applejack.
Huh. So you did.
Not-a-changeling Twilight absolutely needs to be a thing.
I could not stop laughing through that entire loop. Seriously someone please write a fic with an actual Not-a-changeling Twilight character. It would be glorious. 
She is taking things really well.
Very good my most faithful student, very good.
Awesome work absolutely loved the not-a-changeling story.
Totally not a changeling. Honest.
Starscream Glimmer might be my favorite short segment in the loops. It just felt so RIGHT.
Also, Twilight Sparkle (Normal Unicorn Pony) does protest far too much!
I always love it when these update...
169.9 Trixie got that from the Doctor, talk a lot and draw attention to yourself while you beat them with their own army
Oh god, 169.17 had me in stitches! And FINALLY someone puts Clark in Equestria!... though I'm a bit miffed at the fact he wasn't a pony. I can totally see his Cutie Mark being the S, and then he'd have to find some way to explain that away to everyone. Secret identity wouldn't really work all that well at that point.
Totally not a changeling. Just like this guy totally denying that he liked this girl...
169.7 So that was the 'spider-mane' loop, huh? Well played.
6890947 “Oh, ein Greif. Ich hab schon lange keinen Greif mehr gesehen! Mein Name ist Twilight Sparkle! Ich bin ein Pony und kein Wechselbalg!“ Twilight spoke in unaccented east Griffish.
Gilda raised an eyebrow. "Bist du dir sicher, das du ohne deine Mama hier sein darfst?“
"Oh, a gryphon! It's been a while since I've seen one! My name is Twilight Sparkle! I am a Pony and not a Changeling!"
"Are you sure you're old enough to be here without your momma?"
6890947
6891213
6891371
6892134
Thanks, it was kinda my magnum opus in the loops.
6891213 Well... one could expand the loop even further or write a whole fic about it, but honestly, it's been done now, we know the joke, it won't be funny as long. And if we don't do it in the Loops, then what's the motivation?
What one totally could write though, would be a story about a Vampire who tells everyone that she totally isn't a robot. Honestly! Not a robot. She's Icy cold and hard as stone because of a rare disease. But don't worry, she's taking very good care not to infect anyone. Oh and don't mind those novelty ear plugs with attached electrical cord. It's just a pun on "ear plug". Er, it's part of a costume! A robot costume, because she totally isn't a robot.
What? Blood, don't be crazy! That's not fake blood! I don't need fake blood to fill a reservoir to simulate bleeding when I'm being cut. That's just crazy talk, after all I'm not a robot at all.
169.17:
GENIUS.
169.8 Don't understand. Why not tell Starlight? Was this practice?
6894451 You don't debate with a sociopath. Especially on the morality of their True Cause.
169.5
Best loop yet
169.7
Good comic reference is good.
169.8
Glad someone put her in her place.
169.14
...
i.imgur.com/VMDOnBD.gif?gifm
169.16
i.imgur.com/kmepUjbl.jpg
6890947 The translation of the german bit, which I am paraphrasing a bit is
Agreed: "Not a Changeling Twilight Sparkle" is the subfic which will permanently justify this fic's existence.
I mean... damn. A troll this fine is just... and then during the whole thing I wasn't sure if it was Twilight Looping, Twilight Looping and being a Changeling, or something like Zecora Looping and Twilight was asleep and being a changeling, or what!
That's all fine and dandy, but can she try turning it to wumbo?
169.17 was quite possibly the most adorable thing I've ever read. Even if it was an act, it was amazing, and I laughed basically the entire time.
6891213 If I weren't busy with other things (reading this fanfiction, writing chapter 3 of the broken mirror, listening to Welcome to Nightvale, recording let's plays, watching attack on titan, wow it just hit me how much crap I do when not at work) I would totally attempt to write this, it's one of the most amazing things I've ever read.
6933268 Zecora's not an anchor, she can't have kept the loop by herself. If Twilight had been Unawake, there must have been a stealth anchor somewhere.
Should have seen that joke coming
For that entire last bit I was too busy thinking 'I'm not a vampire' the whole freaking time. Curse you Vlad! Reading the entire section in his voice was a rather weird experience.
i swear, i saw a fan-comic very similar to that...
edit: oh, here's the one i was thinking of:
https://www.deviantart.com/doublewbrothers/art/Final-577958989
there's a similar gag in one of the Harry Potter books: two of Ron Weasley's brothers, twins, are teasing another family member:
"oh, you might have mentioned it once-"
"-or twice-"
"-a minute-"
"-all summer."
i had to look at a website with a list of episodes: the episode just after that is "the Crystalling", and Starlight's old friend Sunburst was instrumental in saving the Crystal Empire...
... Honestly, I kinda wish that it wasn't just a big prank. Would have made for a much, MUCH better loop that's for sure...
groan. this made me think of...the Flat Earth Society.
the most closed-minded and willfully blind fools in history.
they can't even understand how the phases of the moon work, but they think they are smarter than everyone else.
Not-A-Changling Twilight is beautiful. That was a wonderful thing to read!! I'm kind of glad robot-Twilight didn't go any further, though, reading her dialogue would have gotten really tiring, really fast.
9216039
I really loved how she was milking it for all it was worth, and never actually lied about being a pony.
Did you borrow a catchphrase from Adam Savage
So is twilight just F Ing with them or was no one awake and why is twilight The Completely normal pony So lovable I wanted to give her a hug.? Great set of loops very unique it’s a little confusing
10395125
She's totally screwing with them. It even mentions it's for a prank.
Lets see, Oh a griffin. I things(?) already/before long ****** griffin more/longer *******! My name is Twilight Sparkle! I am a Pony and not Changeling(?)!
Are(?) you yourself(?) sure(?), it/they/she/who you without your mom here be/exist/or/his/its ******?
And that is a translation base on my bisschen Duetsch knowledge and a Deutsch to Englisch dictionary.
Asterisks are words that I can’t translate atm. Question marks are unsure but probably right. Many means it is probably one of those options.
10630424
According to Google translate:
"Oh, a griffin. I haven't seen a griffin in a long time! My name is Twilight Sparkle! I am a pony and not a changeling"
And
"Are you sure that you can be here without your mom"
Yeah, the Lyras are definitely my favorite Loopers. Or Looper? I don't know whether to count them as multiple or one but either way they're my favorite.
I can say with absolute confidence that the changeling prank has to be the funniest mlp prank I've ever read in a fanfic.
oh, this reminds me of "off the Mark", a "human in equestria" story, the protagonist is a human named "Mark Wells".
when HE had to deal with Starlight's time-travel shenanigans, he wound up in a lot of really weird worlds, including one where the Tantabus had taken over, and one with literal zombie ponies...
he also saw a few nice worlds, including the "past sins" world.