MLP Loops 138
138.1 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
Mac had barely finished setting up his store when the doors swung open, revealing a purple Alicorn. Twilight was shaking all over, every hair on her main frayed in every which way and her wings extended fully even as she trotted down the stairs. Upon approach, he could hear her teeth grinding and both eyes were twitching, meaning that she wasn't freaked out, but angry beyond all measure, "Mac...I need one of every drink in your pocket that won't crash the loop. And keep them coming until I am unconscious on the floor."
He didn't speak as he started her off easy with mug of the Apple Family's Cider and slowly worked her way up to harder liquor.
Mac asked, "Care ta share?"
A massive stack of papers was plopped down on the counter, causing a couple empty glasses to fall over. Again, Mac took note as Twilight didn't even react as a couple leftover drops soiled the paper. The Alicorn's tone took on a manic undertone. "Have you ever read this? I read this magnum opus the first time I replaced a professor at Canterlot University. I flash copied the original to read when I needed a quick joke."
Mac picked up the document and started scanning it. The document was simply titled, Equestria, a History Revealed.
Within minutes of reading, Mac was already holding back a few snorts as even his baseline self would easily point out inconsistencies in this madmare's writings. As a looper, he could tell Loose Change's understandings of time travel were utterly outrageous to begin with, never mind the theory behind Discord's birth. Mac set down the first couple chapters he had already perused and looked up at Twilight. The mare was now on Tequila and would soon start hitting non-hub world drinks. Sensing Mac's question, she set down the shot glass and continued, "Imagine a world where everything Loose Change wrote is 100% accurate."
The Stallion blinked at the thought, then asked, "Ya crash ah loop recently? Must'a angered Sleipnir somethin' fierce ta create ah new punishment loop for ya."
Twilight glared at Mac as she pulled out a box of peanuts from her subspace pocket and started pelting the red stallion.
138.2 (warewolves)
Stolen from:(RowanEx, Awesomedude17, fractalman)
(I think.)
(This isn't easy to track.)
(Let’s just say that the above people were involved. In some way.)
Princess Twilight Awoke, looking up.
Watching as two small meteorites passed her, and landed on Ponyville, she sighed. Walking down, she soon spotted the crater, hearing a long drawn out sound slowly becoming louder.
"-AAAAAAAACE!"
"We are NOT in space mate, so SHUT UP! Honestly, you’re worse than Space Cops. ‘You are floating through restricted space please stop doing that. If you do not cease such actions, we will be forced to follow you, and ask you to cease such actions’. Honestly, If I didn’t know any better I’d put all my money on Her having a hand in their creation."
“OH MAI GOSH OH MAI GOSH! I’M IN SPAAAAAAACEE!”
“SHUT UP!”
Twilight looked down at the two spinning eyeballs, and levitated the one with the blue eye out of the crater. Blinking half his eyelid, Twilight noticed the damaged circuitry, and glanced toward Applebloom, who descended to meet her.
“Oh, hello, the names Wheatley. Hacker extraordinaire, I should mention. Oh I do hope these ones are sentien-why are you looking at me like that?” Wheatley focused his eye on Applebloom, she was currently watching the sparks coming off his casing.
“Ah could probably fix ya right up, if yer’re giving me permission.” Applebloom waited patiently as Wheatley's eyes constricted, and he began to nod it.
“Oh! Yes, that would be most helpful, indeedly helpful, incredibly helpful. That would make my job of uh-existing TONS easier frankly. If you would be so kind as to -er- do so that would be a GREAT help, thank you very much.” Wheatley blinked as Twilight handed the robot over to Applebloom, who sat it on her back as she looked to Twilight.
“Oh go ahead, but I want to talk to him once you’re done.” Twilight watched the two leave, and turned her attention to the second sphere.
“Space cops, here comes space cops.” Twilight levitated it up, and glanced toward the moon.
“You want to go to space?” Twilight waited, and the ball began to roll around in circles.
“I’m the best at SPAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCEEE!” Wincing, Twilight shook her head to dislodge some of the ringing, and looked around. There were a few approaching, but none of them were close enough that they would know what she had in her magic.
“Sure,” she spoke, calling on her magic, and sending the core to form a circular orbit around the moon.
“What the-” Twilight covered herself with a shield as a third object smashed into the crater. This one was much larger, and Twilight watched as it slid down her shield, and slammed into the dirt. Stepping back, she waited as two forms stepped out of it.
The first was a pony with a strange white Cutie Mark. The second was a robotic version of Celestia almost, and for a brief moment Twilight was struck by visions of Celestia AI, but quickly shook them away. Sure enough, as they walked toward her, Twilight confirmed they were who she suspected.
“Excuse me, we’re looking for a moron, you haven’t seen him around by any chance?” GladOS regarded Twilight, eyes detecting her Looper status before sticking an Anchor label over the top. Chell said nothing as she stood beside her, but that was normal. Chell had never entirely forgiven GladOS for testing on her.
“Welcome to our universe. Sanctuary Loop, don’t cause too much trouble and you’re free to do whatever, yada blada. Wheatley is getting repaired by another looper, I’ll take you to him.” Twilight turned, and led the two out of the crater. Sure, Twilight could just teleport them there, but sometimes it did good to give the new arrivals a chance to talk.
“So, how did Wheatley end up here?” Twilight turned her head, and the two didn’t even glance toward her. Blinking, she returned her attention to where she was going. These two obviously didn’t get out much.
“That moron Woke in my body, in my facility, and had the gall to ask me for ‘lessons on how to make it not explode’. So I told him to press the button to disconnect him, and sent him on a rocket into space. You may ask why I had a button installed for such purposes, the reason is simple; For Science.” They continued walking in silence for a moment, and Twilight once more broke the silence.
“You two...don’t get out much do you?” Glancing behind her, she saw the nod. Turning back around to face ahead, a small smile fell onto her face. Pinkie Pie would have a field day with these two.
“I do hope you two like cake.” Both came to a stop, turning toward a pink blur hurtling right toward them. Twilight chuckled, and took three steps to one side.
“Because in our world; the Cake...is a Pie!”
Several days later...
"So, you want to go back into space?" asked Celestia.
"SPACE SPACE SPACE!!! SPAAAAAAAACE!!!"
Celestia shrugged her shoulders. "Very well."
Then she sent it to the moon.
138.3 (warewolves)
“Good morning Lyra, it’s a fine day to be Loopy, is it not?” Twilight smiled warmly as Lyra nodded, pulling out a book as she handed it to Twilight. Turning, Twilight levitated the book back onto the shelf. This Loop, she had decided to sort them in order of relevance to the word Pear. Twilight really did enjoy her new pastime.
“So what personality is in charge this time?” Twilight pulled out her tea set and began brewing some tea for Lyra. Sipping her own, she wondered which would be taking charge in this particular Loop. After all, it was quite a unique variant.
“Actually none, I think I might actually be cured Twilight!” Lyra beamed a smile as she sipped her drink. For once, she was just a single pony. If Lyra examined her memories, she didn’t have any problems looking through them either. It was as if she was a perfectly normal, Looping, pony.
“Uh huh...In that case we need to talk Lyra. Us eleven.” Twilight put down her drink, and looked Lyra square in the eyes. Lyra blinked, registering the fact that there was only two of them here in the room.
“Eleven?” Speaking up, Lyra tilted her head as Twilight nodded, and looked down to the drink in her hooves. Breathing in, she carefully considered her words.
“In this Loop, everypony has multiple personalities. Normally it’s one or two. The others say that they have five or six, but I think that’s due to the Element’s influence. Funny thing; they’re one of our personalities.” Twilight gave a sheepish smile, and Lyra scowled in irritation as she planted her face into the table.
“Just great, the one Loop I’m normal, nopony else is. So what did you call your personalities, and whom am I talking to?” Lyra turned her head so she could look at Twilight, who scratched the back of her head.
“You’re talking to the Public Speaker, the one of us who’s good at talking. There’s also Magic, Party Pony, Book Reader, Sympathetic to Everypony, Loop memories, Previous Loop memories, Magic Master, Fight or Flight, and The Potato.” Twilight scratched the back of her head again, and went to take a sip of her drink as Lyra closed her eyes.
“Do I want to know about The Potato?” Lyra raised her head and decided to finish off her tea. Sipping it, she silently wondered just what every Looper had named theirs. Likely none were as obvious as Twilight’s.
“Mmmn no, the less said about The Potato, the better.”
138.4 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
Sunset Shimmer's ears perked up as Principal Celestia strode into the class, "Class, today you will be having a new student. He's a student from overseas, however he is fully fluent in English. Please give him a warm welcome."
Her eyes narrowed as a male teenager with black hair sporting a cyan long sleeve shirt over grey t-shirt underneath and blue jeans strode into the room. There was something familiar about him. He pushed up his glasses as a gleam of light seemed to cross his vision, "Nice to meet you all. My name is Kei Shirogane, but most of my friends call me Shiroe. I'm originally from the Akiba area in Tokyo, Japan. My parents moved here after my father was transferred to the American Branch. It's been such a flurry of a change, I feel like I've been thrown for a loop."
Sunset's eyes widened, her mouth dropped, but then she caught herself and gave the response, "Do you feel awake now, or do you need help finding somewhere to anchor yourself like you were at home?"
Shiroe's blinked and gave a small smirk, "I would be grateful for any help you can provide."
Celestia blinked at the odd exchange, then shrugged it off, "Sunset, are you volunteering to help our transfer student settle in?"
Sunset nodded. Celestia pointed to the seat next to Sunset, "Take a seat next to her. If you have any problems, let her know."
It wasn't until after school that the two could talk, since everyone kept asking Shiroe questions about Japan. Sunset offered to show him around the city after class, and that was what they were doing now. Shiroe withdrew a more circumspect magic staff that appeared like an actual walking stick, "Sunset, it has been far too long."
Sunset grabbed the teen in a firm hug, "Far, far too long. How are Akatsuki and Naotsugu?"
Shiroe gave a small grin and patted her on the back, "Both are doing well. Akatsuki is refining her ninja techniques, Naotsugu often takes to wandering the world if bored. Nyanta is still hoping Konyan will start looping. We have a new looper, Serara, the girl you replaced. She's still getting used to the loops, but we believe she'll be fine. As for me-"
He gave a sly grin and reached into his subspace pocket, withdrawing a potion that made her quirk her eyebrows, "Still trying out your alchemy on visitors?"
Shiroe shrugged, "You didn't mind being a pony for that loop."
His sly grin vanished a moment later, "In all seriousness though, teaching the loopers and settling them into their loops is going well. Those brochures Twilight made were extremely useful. Actually, Cherilee appeared in our loop not too long ago, asking for more tutoring. Second time through."
Sunset snorted in humor, "What did she study this time?"
"Japanese history, mechanical engineering, a brief history of Lovecraftian Horrors, though I think that was because she ended up in Lovecraft's Call of Cthuhlu, and finally Theldesian magics, all of them."
Shimmer whistled, "That's an odd selection. What did she ask for the first time?"
Shiroe shared, causing Sunset to shake her head, "She's taking her desire to learn everything very seriously."
Shiroe leaned on his staff, "What do you usually do for this loop?"
Shimmer shrugged, "Equestria is a sanctuary loop to any guests. As long as you don't cause too much trouble, we'll usually go along with your plan."
Shiroe removed the Pegasus potion he once had Akatsuki drink and the Sunset's unicorn potion, "Actually, I might have an idea-"
He was cut off as Shimmer was suddenly in his face, "Don't do it, Shiroe. I think I know your plan. It's ok to use that potion as a joke in Theldesia on your fellow loopers, but here...look just don't do it."
Shiroe looked confused, then it dawned on him, "Oh...the conversion bureau-"
"We don't talk about it either."
Shiroe blinked, then gave a sad grin, "No, you misunderstood my plan. Listen-"
After a few minutes, Sunset started to grin herself, "Actually, if you can do that, it might just be ok."
A Couple Years later
Equestria
It was a slow week in Ponyville, what with so few loopers awake in the small town. Shining was awake, but occupied with pushing back dragons that threatened to invade and conquer the whole of Equus. He also considered it good practice to stay in form as head of Princess Celestia's and...eventually, Cadence's guard.
It was shortly after Chrysalis' epic failure of an invasion (due to Shiny's actions), meaning they had some time before the next crisis (big or small) would strike. Twilight shouted, "Spike, get my list on things to do during the doldrums."
A few moments later, Spike entered her room dragging a scroll so big it barely fit through the doorway, "Twilight, why am I carrying your lists in my subspace pocket? Yours could hold the entirety of America by now."
Twilight rolled her eyes, "It's tradition, Spike. You're the assistant...but if you don't want to be my assistant any more, I could store the scrolls-"
Spike waved her off, "No, I don't mind. I was just curious."
With a size shift, Drake Spike started rolling down the list...carefully not to break any of the furniture, "Alright. We got dig to the center of the earth and see what Equestria's core is made of?"
Twilight shook her head, "Seven times out of 10 it's still a mixture of molten iron and nickel. Next."
"Think up a new drinking game?"
"Already have a list for that."
"Research rock farming?"
Twilight paused at that one. Ever since the Petriculture loop, she had forgotten about that one. Moments later, she shook her head, "Let's not for now. I'd like preparations in case Pinkie is another of my imaginary friends."
"Conquer Equis and implement a Oligarchy?"
Twilight blinked, then glared at the scroll, "Cross it out, then burn the ink off so it never existed."
Spike looked at Twilight, "Didn't you make that suggestion when you were drunk out of your mind after failing to redeem Anakin since he was basically Dark Sidious Vader?"
Twilight sighed and nodded, "Continue."
It went on for a bit, until it reached, "Go through the magical mirror and see if Sunset is awake?"
Twilight brightened up at that one, "Yes! I like that one!"
A moment later, Twilight had removed a copy of the Crystal Mirror and pulled out a keyblade of her own. Slightly surprised, Spike gave her a quizzical look, to which Twilight replied, "I don't use it often, but Sunset's taught me how to open the portal any time."
With a twist of the blade, a lance of energy shot out, striking the mirror. With a press of his claw, spike's arm went through the mirror. The dragon pulled out a checklist, "Portal opened, check."
Twilight rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Thanks, Spike."
With that, the two stepped through the portal. On the other side, Twilight looked over her hands for a second, then gave a ping. Surprisingly, two pings echoed back near one another, "Looks like Sunset is awake, and has a friend."
Spike looked at her, "Or someone else is awake. You never know...Rarity might be..."
Twilight rubbed Spike's head, "Then we should check right away."
As Twilight finished, a griffon walked by and muttered, "'Sup, losers."
Twilight smiled at the griffon, "Hey, Gilda!"
The girl turned back, only to pause and review the last ten seconds. Her head turned so fast it was amazing it didn't snap off. No doubt about it, a...griffon...Gilda...had just strolled by them like it was nothing. Twilight looked to Spike, who just raised his paws, looking just as confused as her. Moments later, a unicorn Trixie strolled by, muttering about how her spell wasn't working just right and needed more practice for the talent show. And when she looked closer, there were other people she knew that were no longer humans. Lyra, for example, was looking at her hooves with fascination, then rubbed her horn every now and then. Twilight's eye started twitching.
This was definitely new.
Twilight's hand were shaking a bit as she took a sip of some coffee. She looked across the table at the two loopers and asked, "Which one of you wants to explain why mythical creatures are wondering around Canterlot High. Mythical creatures whom were once humans?"
Sunset and Shiroe exchanged slightly nervous glances, as Shiroe began, "It was supposed to be a joke for when you got here, but things got a bit out of control."
Twilight quirked her eyes as she spun her head to Joe, who was now a Minotaur, and also a very Pink Griffon Pinkie who was bounding over to them. She asked, "Hey, hey, hey! What fresh pastries would you like today, Sunset?"
Suddenly, her lion tail started shaking. Pinkie gasped as she looked at it, "Oh! My tail is shaking...three, no four times. Meaning we have a guest from another dimension!"
Twilight nodded, "Party later, Pinkie. I'll take a chocolate triple deluxe doughnut. The other two will have to suffer a couple glazed ones."
"Okie Dokie! Would you like any potion to go with that?"
Twilight's eyes narrowed at her two looping friends, both who flinched. She replied, "Unicorn, if you would."
With that, the griffon nodded and hopped off. Twilight waved her hand wildly at the retreating waitress. Shiroe sighed, "We were going for a temporary conversion, no mind alterations. We based the design off a chemical breakdown of the Appearance Changing Potion from my universe. The potion was originally designed as a party joke, that would last a couple hours."
He called forth his laptop, pulled up a couple documents, and slid them across the table. Twilight took several minutes to inspect the data, meanwhile pocketing the coffee for later research. Her expression slowly shifted from a mixture of disappointment and frustration to curiosity and excitement. She looked up at Shiroe and asked with a hopeful expression, "Have you completely reverse engineered the potion?"
Shiroe shook his head, "No. All I was able to produce was a cheap imitation, transforming, say, a human into what he or she would look like as a pony. Albeit, I can make them earth, unicorn or pegasi pony, but each one would have the same mane and coat color as well as cutie mark. Same with Griffon, minotaur, changeling, and all others. However if you wanted to look like, say Sunset here or change your gender, you're out of luck."
Twilight nodded, slightly unhappy at that, but understandable. The original potion was incredibly complex, using ingredients that were both incredibly rare for even loopers, but also some she couldn't recognize to begin with. She asked, "Alright. I'm interested. How did you accidentally start a Conversion Bureau Phenomenon?"
Shiroe went into his story, chronicling his acquisition of a College lab at Canterlot University where he presented his current research to the scientists, as well as a proposition to create a party potion. Sunset talked to this universe's versions of Twilight's friends and convinced them to participate in conversion tests. Fluttershy seemed to take to the project like bees to honey, willing to participate in every test. Dash, meanwhile, enjoyed being a Pegasus too much and asked if there was a way to make the conversion permanent. Two new lines of testing were opened, one to allow permanent conversions and the second to change back into humans. Soon, the potion was set to go into production.
Twilight raised a hoof at this, "How did you get this by the FDA?"
Shiroe shrugged, "We had Pinkie Pie talk to them, while she was in her earth pony form. After a five hour closed door session, they agreed to a trial run with a wider audience here in Canterlot High and around the city. Rarity, Applejack and Dash put together an excellent marketing strategy, promoting the opportunity to use magic of a unicorn, the chance to fly as Pegasi and strength unmatched by the Earth Ponies. And the rest you know since you just got here."
Twilight continued to grill Shiroe for the next couple hours on safety regulations of the potions for bringing flying Pegasi to the ground safely if their conversions were temporary and cancelled mid air. Also, limitations on the unicorn magic to prevent more dangerous members of society using spells designed to kill were discussed, to which Shiroe assured her that unicorn magic had limitations in place to prevent serious bodily injury or death upon the target's form. It was also part of Shiroe's deal with the FDA that converted members of the military would be allowed full use of their magic for combat purposes.
Finally, Twilight sighed, "Alright. I won't interfere in this under two conditions. First, you will hire me as part of your research team to study the Appearance Changing Potion. If we can fully reverse engineer it, gender bender loops would no longer be a problem for any looper."
Shiroe nodded and asked, "What's the second?"
Twilight looked at him with a dead serious expression, "If this blows up in your face, you will fix it. If anyone dies as result of the potion failing at an inopportune moment, you will resurrect them and make amends. If the potion ever shows signs of altering a person's or pony's mind, this project will be terminated immediately and you will restore that person's mind at all costs. Do you understand?"
Shiroe nodded and gave a small bow, "Absolutely. Rest assured, I will not allow harm to befall anyone should the project fail."
138.5 (fractalman)
"Ah, Twilight. I was wondering if you could take a look at my latest dress" said Rarity.
"Is this a dress you and Slaanesh have been working on?"
"Oh, no, nothing of the sort."
"Well…alright then."
When Rarity removed the cover for the dress, Twilight covered her eyes as a monstrous amount of heat and light assaulted her. "ACK! Rarity! Please, PLEASE tell me that dress isn't made from what I think it is!"
"Oh, don't worry dear, it's only something I made using Gridfire as-"
"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS AFRAID IT WAS MADE OF!"
As Twilight fled the room, the planet, and the solar system to be safe, Rarity smirked. Then she flipped a switch with her magic, causing the light and heat to dim, revealing a relatively normal diamond-fiber dress and a massive array of lights inside of an expansion charm. "A pity poor Twilight didn't stick around long enough to hear me finish my explanation, I could have told her I only used Gridfire as a power source for energy-matter conversion."
138.6 (Evilhumour)
There was a stomp of hooves that entered Twilight's library, causing her to look up. First entering was very familiar looking colt glaring in complete anger as a tall black alicorn followed him in too. The colt was well groomed, mane perfectly washed and cut. He looked perfectly presentable in public but why did he look so familiar...
Then Twilight looked at the cutie mark and did a double take. "Lemon?"
The colt could only roll his eyes as an answer. "What happened, who is tha-"
Then she realized who it was in front of her. It was Ganondorf, noticing his cutie mark resembled that of the Tri-Force, the top part was a bit brighter, and his face resembled his previous time here. Twilight's eyes darted from the young colt's perfectly groomed mane to the brush still in Ganondorf's telekenetic grasp. Then she burst out laughing as she put the dots together.
Nyx poked her head out of her room and stared at her boyfriend, before falling over in sheer laughter, rolling on her back with Lemon only grumbling under his breath as she started to squeak.
"It took me several dozen scissors, a couple lakes, Equestria's entire supply of rope to hold him steady, an unfathomable amount of combs and brushes but I finally got him looking presentable." Curry Comb,his looping Equestrian name, chuckled. "It seemed that miss Fluttershy was right; it would take a herculean effort to get him all tidied up."
Lemon Rush only sighed, the Little Mother had been taken to the hospital as she could not stop laughing after seeing him. Suddenly there was a multiple-flash of lights as cameras went off, with many pictures being taken of him.
"The things I do for love."
138.7 (Evilhumour, Leviticus Wilkes, Archeo Lumiere and Hvulpes)
Fluttershy walked to her door where a very still and very calm looking Rainbow Dash was waiting for her.
"Fluttershy," she said calm, her eye twitching. "Is, by any chance your son home?"
"Oh dear," Fluttershy placed a hoof to her cheek. "What did he do?"
"Your son," Rainbow's wings twitched as she spoke. "Had me race an Ork biker. Only," she raised a wing in the air. "He gave the Ork red paint, and to which I quote, "This is the super duper ultra fastest red paint. Guaranteed to make you go 130 percent faster than awesomeness." She took a deep breath of air. "The Ork beat me by going ten percent faster than me. While I was an alicorn!" She snapped, glaring at her friend. "Now is your son home as I would like to have some words with him?"
"Well, it seems that Lemon beat you fair and square Dash, so if those words are civil and polite then I see no reason not to let you speak to him."
"No, I was going to ask for some red fur dye."
Fluttershy's lip twitched. "May I ask why you need some red fur dye?"
"So I can fly 140% faster than usual, duh."
A few days later...
"So let me get this straight." asked Twilight as she looked at Rainbow Dash, who looked the same except that her coat had been painted red. No change to her rainbow mane, nor to her cutie mark. "Being red has made you so fast..."
"I travelled in time. Under my own power! I am awesome!"
138.8 (Evilhumour)
Lemon blinked as he looked over the hill and then at the three fillies behind him.
"Are you sure that this is necessary?" He asked them, wondering how they managed to talk him into doing this.
"Eyyup," Applebloom said with a grin. "Best way to test it, after all. We all try to do it, and it happens without fail."
"And besides," Sweetie Bell continued, rolling her eyes. "You've looped here as a foal so often that I'm kinda surprised we've never asked you before."
"To which I am flattered that you have asked me now but this seems a bit much!" Lemon protested, flapping his wings.
"Come on Lemon," Scootaloo whined, edging closer. "Don't be a chicken!"
"There's be a coward and being stupid," he glared at her. "I'm not going to do it!"
"Too bad!" the three of them rushed over and before Lemon could do anything, they pushed the wagon he was in down into the treeline with a high pitched scream following him.
Fluttershy did her best not to laugh as Lemon came home covered in tree sap. She really did.
After her son let her take few dozen pictures, she marched him upstairs so he could take a bath.
"So now the Cutie Mark Crusaders have their seventh looping member." She asked, watching him a draw a bubble bath, something that she would never share out of respect for her son.
Lemon could only snort in amusement and grinned at her, already with a bubble beard. "I passed the tree sap challenge, didn't I?"
"Yes you did," she smiled, walking out of the door. "And once you are done getting cleaned up, you can wash the sap you tracked through the house."
138.9 (Gym Quirk)
"Apple Bloom? Do you still have that Fokker Dr.I?" Scootaloo asked as she peeled off her flying helmet.
The pale yellow filly looked up from adjusting Cookie's holoprojector and blinked. "Huh?...Oh. Hold on. You were flying your favorite Spitfire and he still got you?"
The pegasus grumbled under her breath, then sighed. "Look. I've got no problem coming in second to Wedge Antilles for 'Best pilot in the multiverse', but I'm not gonna stand for getting beat by a beagle flying a doghouse!"
"What makes you think the triplane...?"
"It's his weak point. I'm gonna to go full 'Orange Baroness' and see how he handles it."
"Okay...if you say so. Give me fifteen minutes to finish up here and I'll meet you in the hangar. That good enough?"
Scootaloo muttered acceptance and trudged to the pilot's ready room.
Fifteen minutes later, as she made her way to the hangar, the earth pony decided that this would not be the best time to mention that she had been providing Winona's replacement with technical assistance on the side.
138.10 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
"TWILIGHT!"
The doors to Golden Oaks Apples swung open wide to reveal a disheveled Rarity. The Purple unicorn sighed. She turned to the Unicorn and asked, "What is it, Rarity?"
"It's Sweetie Belle, come quick!"
The two arrived a minute later at Carousel Boutique. At the top of the stairs in Rarity's workshop sat a bug like pony covered in black chitin. Twilight performed several scanning spells on the changeling, then some of her own she developed from countless other loops. Her suspicions confirmed as to the identity of the changeling, she played along. "Huh, it's a changeling. They're incredibly rare, usually living out in the Badlands away from ponies. Where did Sweetie Belle find her?"
Rarity's eye twitched. "Sweetie didn't find this...changeling you say?"
She shook her head and continued, "This was Sweetie Belle! She tried making breakfast for me and, after burning the cereal, accidentally burned her hoof trying to make pancakes. Only when her hoof burned, it reverted to that black...chitin."
Green flames consumed the changeling, reverting her form to Sweetie Belle, "But sis, I'm still your sister...don't you still love me?"
Rarity patted her on the head and gave a reassuring grin, "Of course, dear, but something's gone wrong with your body. Twilight will be able to fix this."
A tear fell down Sweetie's cheek, which caused Rarity to flinch and feel down, "I'm sorry dear. Even if Twilight is unable to reverse this, I'll always love you."
Sweetie's frown disappeared as she lunged at Rarity, hugging her tight. Rarity sighed in relief and asked, "Twilight, I'm going to get some water, calm my nerves, you know. It's been a stressful day."
After Rarity was gone, Twilight gave the filly a quirked expression. Sweetie gave a sly grin, "Oh come on. You did the same thing to Celestia that one time at the hospital."
Twilight's expression disappeared as she started giggling, "Yeah, that was fun. So, Silver, when are you and Sweetie going to change back?"
The Filly once again burst into green flames before being replaced by a grey pony with a silver mane braided into a ponytail that hung over her right side, "Can't fool you for a second, can I? Sweetie is going to see the griffon lands with Scoots and 'Bloom. Something about getting back to their roots."
"Cutie Mark Crusaders, griffon riders, Yay!"
"Get the buck off me, you brats," shouted a pissed off Gilda.
The yellow filly shouted, "Gilda! Watch out for that tr-"
*CRASH*
Twilight shivered for a moment, then pulled out a list along with a quill and ink, muttering to herself, "Talk with Pinkie. See if she's been having her 'Crusaders are about to cause an international incident' sense."
Spoon waved her hoof dismissively, "I'm sure they're fine. Anyway, you should have seen the time I replaced Applebloom and transformed into a deer in front of Applejack. By the end of that loop, unawake you was about ready to pull her mane out, unable to figure out 'Bloom' did that."
Twilight dropped her head as a cloud seemingly started hanging over her head with rain coming down. Moments later, Derpy came in and apologized as she pushed the cloud out the window, "I don't know how that happened."
138.11 (Gamerex27)
Huitzilopochtli slammed his head against his desk. Repeatedly.
"First those damned rodents," he muttered, "and now this."
He looked again at his screen.
CLASS 4 EVENT OCCURRED IN LOOPS -----, ------, ---, ----, AND ----.
PERMANENT DAMAGE: NONE.
REASON FOR EARLY LOOP TERMINATION: BEES.
"Bees," the feathered god said. "Just...'Bees.'"
Storming out of his office, he took to the air (or as close as he could without bumping into the branches/ceiling above him). He landed near a cubicle, still in his Aztec department, and grabbed the god inside by the antenna.
"Ow! Ow! That hurtzzzzzzz!" Ah-Muzen-Cab complained. "What givezzzzz?!"
"You know damn well what's going on," the war god hissed. "I thought you had that virus contained!"
"I did! Mostly..." the bee god buzzed. "I've isolated the most dangerouzzzz strain in the Summerset Isle Loop, and it's contained there for now! No Crashes!"
"True," Huitzilopochtli said, "but it's still caused lowercase crashes in a...considerable number of my Loops!"
"I am not in a good mood," he growled to the other god. "Damage control, now, or I'm demoting you! Again!"
"...As you wizzzzh." Ah-Muzen-Cab flew up to the ceiling, where his hard drive was, and began the process of debugging.
As Huitzilopochtli turned around to leave, he saw a tired-looking Skuld waiting at the cubicle's entrance. "Problem?"
She was silent for a few moments. "No," she said, "you pretty much did what I was going to do anyways. Saves me some work."
"If I were you," the war god said, tilting his head as he followed her into the hallway, "I would be more...enraged about all these Loop crashes."
"Holy roots, DRAGON BEES!" Loki's voice echoed from far above them. "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! EVERYWHERE!"
"Too tired to..." she yawned. "Anyways, if this is like the squirrels, it'll take care of itself. After a while, anyways."
"WHY ARE THE BEE STINGS CAUSING CUP SIZE REDUCTION?!" Aphrodite shrieked shrilly. "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!"
"And for a virus messing with dozens of Loops," she said, smirking, "I have to admit, it's actually kind of funny."
I really, really hate the Bee Virus, Twilight internally grumbled. May as well get this over with.
"Rainbow Dash, whose wings are logically too small to let her fly, represents the Element of Bumblebees!"
"Beelieve it!" Dashie yelled, deciding to get into character for this Loop.
"Applejack, who grows apples, represents the Element of Osmia cornifrons!"
"That ain't a virtue!" Applejack said, half-indignant and half-bored.
"Pinkie Pie," Twilight continued, ignoring her, "who eats enough sugar to put any other pony into cardiac arrest, represents the Element of Honeybees!"
Pinkie Pie tried to say something, but due to being covered from head to tail in pollen and tree sap, only managed some unintelligible words and a giggle.
"Fluttershy, who would never hurt a fly, represents the Element of Stingless Bees!"
Fluttershy smiled. "They're so sweet," she said, giggling at her truly awful pun.
"Rarity, who is a hardworking mare running her own business, represents the Element of Worker Bees!"
Rarity also tried to say something, but decided against it, since speaking would probably just make the mass of bee stings covering her body worse.
"T...those are only five of the Elements of BEEEEEEES!" Nightmare Moon said triumphantly. "Ha! You have failed!"
"And I, who stay up way too late reading, represent the final mystery Element!" Twilight cried as Nightmare Moon's smirk vanished and she started screaming. "The Element of nocturnal bees, otherwise known as the Vespertine Bees!"
"No! NO!" Nightmare Moon shrieked, backing away in terror.
"And together, we form the Elements of BEEEEEEES!"
With that, beams of light shot out from their Elements, forming into a massive swarm of magically-constructed bees, which proceeded to chase Luna all around the ruins of the castle.
"NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAHAHHHHRGH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AHHHHHH! ARGUGLGUGUGHGUGUGUGH!"
"Are they supposed to work that way?" Fluttershy asked, as the bees slowly but surely stung the corruption out of Luna's body.
"She'll be fine," Twilight said. "The legends said she wasn't allergic, she was just scared of them. Who's up for lunch?"
"N hney in mh ti, plz," Rarity begged through her swollen tongue.
138.12 (Gamerex27, KrisOverstreet, Masterweaver, War3wolves, Banjo2E)
Fluttershy could do nothing but stare as her choir of birds flew onto their perches, carrying bizarre instruments in their beaks and talons.
"Pun Loops," Twilight said with disgust. "Why does it always have to be pun Loops?!"
"Um..." Fluttershy started, tilting her head, "why do you need those instruments? This is a choir, not a band."
In response, one of the birds in the front chirped something, and Fluttershy facehoofed.
"What did he say?" Twilight asked.
"He said..." the pegasus started, then sighed. "He said...'Nothing can stop the Blooze'."
"Yeah," the various Rainbow Dash-colored instruments said in unison, "I'm really not liking this Loop either."
Ignoring her, the birds raised their trumpets to their beaks, lifted their drumsticks, and proceeded to play out an improvised blues melody.
The tall stallion in the black suit said, "It's 106 miles to Canterlot, we've got a zeppelin, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses."
"Hit it," said the short, fat stallion in the black suit.
"Hey, Rarity?" Fluttershy asked, as she walked into Rarity's boutique, "I was wondering if you had that conductor's uniform ready yet. I promised Seraphita that I would give her something to help with her 'Magical stop demons from eating people' song, and since she's from the Amalaverse, she'd need it...quickly..."
Gasping, Fluttershy galloped over to the fallen Rarity, who had fainted into her couch. Looking around, Fluttershy noted that she was surrounded by, of all things, horseshoes, of various metals and designs. Thankfully, she noticed that these were the slip-on kind, rather than the painful "nailed to your hooves" kind.
"So...many...orders," Rarity moaned groggily as she stirred awake.
"What happened?" Fluttershy asked, helping her to her hooves.
"There were SO MANY orders!" the Element of Generosity muttered. "So many! I thought the socks were bad: these are just...urgh!"
"I just don't have enough time to fill the orders before the Gala!" she cried. "Nothing can stop...the Shoes!"
"NOTHING CAN STOP THE NEWS!" cried Mrs. Cake triumphantly. "Twins! I have twins in my bellah!"
Twilight blinked, turning to Pinkie and quirking an eyebrow.
"Yeah, she's been like this all loop." Pinkie shrugged. "So, cookie or fudge?"
"Nothing can stop...the Tubes!"
"Well, I sure as hay wish somepony could!" Applejack yelled over the deafening noise of the Boom Tubes. "All the cider we keep tryin' ta make's fallin' out of the kegs from the dang shockwaves they're makin'!"
"You think that's bad?!" Rainbow Dash screamed back, covering her ears with her forehooves. "The weather pegasi are getting all the complaints about the noise! Five ponies today alone were fired because some idiots thought they were throwing thunder around!"
"Can someone please go and shut Highfather up?" Ivory Scrolls yelled from her office. "My windows have broken again, and the property values of Ponyville are going to plummet!"
"Hal Jordan said he's taking care of Highfather now!" Zecora reassured them. "If I were you, though, I would get out of town!"
"You leave us no choice, princess." The diplomat glowered across the table. "As of now, we are officially at war. And nothing can stop the gnus."
Twilight did not laugh until she was alone and had cast a number of anti-eavesdropping spells. But in the end... she did laugh.
"The NIGHT SHALL LAST...NEVER!" Nightmare Moon cracked with glee, and Twilight blinked, raising a hoof in question.
"Don't you mean forever? You're meant to cause Eternal night." Twilight tilted her head as Nightmare Moon only laughed louder.
"Afraid not, dear subject! Eternal night was just...a ruse!"
It was taking all of Rarity's eons of experience to keep the smile plastered on her face as she listened to the stallion go on and on.
"...and while I did eventually manage to knock out all six of them, my tuxedo simply wasn't up to the strain. That outfit you designed for that pegasus there, though, that is clearly sturdy enough to survive a swashbuckling emergency, and with that kind of style..."
Rarity sighed. "Your highness, I really am flattered you think so highly of my work, but could we perhaps move on to a topic that doesn't involve endlessly complimenting me?"
Prince Blueblood paused in his rambling and winked at her. "I'm afraid not, milady. Nothing can stop the schmooze."
138.13 (Evilhumour)
Vinyl woke up in their bed with a shout as the nightmare was still in her mind.
"What's wrong Vinyl?" Octavia asked, looking at the trembling unicorn, who had tears in her eyes.
"I had that nightmare again, where you are still not looping," Vinyl sobbed, hiccuping as she buried herself into Octavia's shoulder. "But you're looping and you're Awake! We're together and everything is ok." Vinyl was panting now, grasping at straws, desperate for this to be true.
Octavia patted Vinyl with her hoof, leaning in close to her ear. "Vinyl, you know that's not true, we're not awake." Vinyl pulled back to see herself holding her, Octavia slipping away from her. "It's time to wake up."
With a shout, Vinyl woke up, panting in her apartment. She looked around herself, as the memories of her dreams came back to her. And then she broke down in tears; she hated those false, teasing dreams of her Octy looping. Lyra told her that for herself that dreams of Bon Bon looping was even worse with all the other selves in her head breaking down in that possible paradise.
With a shaky hoof, Vinyl pulled out some simple booze and began to drink herself stupid so she wouldn't have to think anymore.
138.14 (Gamerex27)
"I don't know if I should celebrate or just drink myself into the next Loop," Rainbow Dash muttered as she entered Macadam's Oil House. "Energon Lite, on the rocks."
As the Autobot working the bar poured the drink, the Scout-class Transformer took a seat next to the striped Minicon sitting at the bar.
"What troubles you, old friend?" Zecora asked her. "Did a bad Loop send you 'round the bend?"
"Grim Dark," she muttered. "Why is it always these Grim Dark piles of road apples, just when I want to relax!"
Chugging down the Energon in one gulp, Rainbow Dash groaned. "It was this Loop where...Unawake Twilight just went crazy, and tried to kill us all by forcefully Discording us and ripping out our Elements. And of course, she took all her cues from the Loop Which We Never Talk About-tried to shove a jellyfish down Fluttershy's throat, tried to zap Applejack with some horrible shock...thingy, and so many other things I'm not mentioning.
"And before you ask," she said, as Zecora's faceplate moved to speak, "we stopped her. All it took was a buck to the face, a paralysis spell, and we shoved her in a psych ward for the rest of the Loop. One of those ones not run by a Ratched type. And we only got a few bruises and a day's stay in the hospital for our trouble."
"It seems to me that, as of late," Zecora noted, "Yggdrasil always puts us in the worlds that we hate."
"I mean," the Element of Loyalty said, "nothing's ever gonna top Slavequestria, or even what happened with Nao-" she stopped herself, sighing. "-The Fiend," she finished. "And we're more than capable of just derailing the Loops so far that they end up on another continent entirely. But it's still annoying!
"I really don't like it," she muttered, draining her second mug of Energon. "I hate having to fight psychos with my friends' faces. Yeah, I know it's not them, but it's not easy. There's been way too many dark Loops lately. And even though I can derail them in, like, 5 seconds flat, it's getting old."
Zecora patted Dashie on the back, wincing at the unfamiliar sound of clanging metal-on-metal. "Axiom Nexus is always at peace," she noted. "After a Loop like that, you'll need a treat. The Energon's on me. And nothing can be as bad as the bees."
"Oh, you're overreacting," Rainbow Dash said, grinning. "The puns weren't that bad. And it gave me an awesome idea. How does building Yggdrasil's best race track sound to you?"
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Ganondorf, the ALICORN OF BRUSHIE BRUSHIES!
Think you got it bad Dash? Derpy dreaming bug means she does remember those bad loops.
The Nic Cage quote made it golden.
And Ganondorf is fun to see back here.
>> 138.11
I… buh… wah…
>> 138.12
Noooooo, not a pun loop!
40.media.tumblr.com/0795ae7dcaf447246ad814b1f38e22c3/tumblr_mv04uv4ZH31st9xvjo6_1280.png
BEEES!
Warewolves is an author? Time loops, time loops everywhere.
Rainbow Dash violated causality? I hope there was some sort of Cherenkov rainboom involved.
After all those horrible puns, I'll bet that everypony needs a freaking drink. And nothing can stop... the booze!
Oh goddammit Nappa.
That's even worse!
And that's just terrible.
138.1: He's got a point
138.2: Twi didn't make the orbit stable?
138.3: Poor Lyra
138.4: She clearly doesn't know Shiroe as well as she seemed to in the past.
138.5: O...kay?
138.6: He had untameable hair?
138.7: Orks fix everything with paint.
138.8: Sap as an initation plan.
138.9: Probably not a good idea no.
138.10: Pfft.
138.11: No doctor?
138.12: The puns will never end
138.13: So...that was odd
138.14: Just usually.
Bees? Bees.
Anytime Zeus or Aphrodite get humiliated I"m happy, so good job bees! The Lemon snips were great, especially him taking a wagon ride down the hill and Gannondorf brushing him out. Plus, Portal!!!! yay!
Oh god a Pages Of Harmony loop.
All the alcohol for Dash.
Unusual amount of Lemon in this set...
138.1: Is this a fic somewhere, or just a concept brought up for the loop itself?
138.4: "Seven times out of 10" just looks weird; it should be "...out of ten".
138.8: ...Seventh? Apart from the canonical membership, of whom Babs and her recruits aren't looping, I only remember Chrysalis.
138.12: A set of references and halfhearted attempts at puns*? No. Just... no. (A couple of additional notes: What was up with Rainbow Dash being the instruments? I suppose Eternal Night was... a distaction? And, relatedly, there's a difference between a rhyme and a pun.)
138.14: I dunno, given that there are Loopers from racing-themed canons, I daresay they'd have some stiff competition to make Yggdrasil's best track.
*I've been known to say that the one thing better than a good pun is a bad pun, but there's a difference between a bad pun and a badly-done pun.
5902879 Quoting the humorist Bennett Cerf: "The pun is the lowest form of humor- when you didn't think of it first."
138.6 The 'Courage, the Cowardly Dog' quote at the end just killed me.
NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!!!!
On another subject...
I'd kinda like to see those 'multiple personalities' sticking around, maybe expanded on a bit, hmm?
I think I must have missed a chapter when 'The Fiend' got his MLE rating...
8767879
He never did, as it was a legitimate case of local loop aspects mind fucking him and sending him off the rails before he could develop a resistance to it. He's fine now, but the Equestrians are struggling to get over it.
sayingimages.com/wp-content/uploads/im-not-saying-nicolas-cage-memes.jpg
5628628
What is this unholy abomination?
That one white card from cards against humanity that just says "bees?"
What do they push an aspiring Crusader into a bunch of trees to see if they get covered in sap in order to ascertain if they would truly be a viable Crusader?
Is tree sap really that big of an element of being a Crusader now?
We don't talk about potato
No we don't talk about potato no no no
(Parody of "we don't talk about bruno")
Cause i had it stuck in my head after reading that line