MLP Loops 124
124.1 The Great Elevator Saga:
(Gamerex27)
Another century, another Lonely Loop, Twilight thought glumly.
It had been her first one in a while, too: recently, she had a windfall of Fused Loops lately: aside from her horrific visit to the God Emperor of Mankind, they had gone well (although Awake Fluttershy muttered something about a "poor kid" when they Element-blasted a Bureau-Celestia last decade).
She'd been trying to keep things baseline for a while: for the most part, it was successful. She'd just reached the point where Fluttershy had redeemed Discord, and the Element-bearers decided to celebrate with a sleepover at Rainbow Dash's apartment. This looked like a slight variant: instead of medieval technology supplemented by magic, this Equestria Variant ran off of nuclear-level technology and magic. Twilight was still annoyed that those crystal ball phones/computers were all the rage in this Loop, yet when she tried to make her own, one simple spam e-mail ruined the whole network.
"What floor did you say you were on, dear?" Rarity asked, looking up at the tower that was about the size of Mount Everest.
"Seven hundred. Don't worry, that elevator goes really fast," replied Dash. "Not as fast as me, but not bad, anyways."
A few minutes later, they had all piled into a surprisingly roomy elevator car. The doors closed in front of them, and only then did Twilight notice something very distressing.
"Uh, girls?" Twilight said, pointing at the buttons with her forehoof. "We've got a problem."
"What's-oh, ponyfeathers," Rainbow Dash swore, facehoofing. "Some jerk had to push every single bucking button for every single floor!
"Can't y'all just teleport us out?" Applejack asked, nervously glancing around the car.
"They installed some kind of anti-magic field around the system. Safety measures, to stop any impatient unicorns from being crushed if they make a mistake teleporting," Dash groaned. "Safety measures, my flank."
"Don't worry!" Pinkie said, bouncing over to the buttons. "We'll just have to wait until we get to the top! Hm...the doors open for 30 seconds for every floor, and we're on floor two right now, meaning we'll get there in about..." Pinkie's ever-present smile faltered for a moment. "...6 hours."
"6 hours? SIX HOURS?!" Rarity groaned. "We're stuck in an elevator car for six hours?!"
"Well, we ain't gonna starve in here," Applejack noted. "Ah've got the snacks for the party in mah saddlebag, so we won't get hungry. Though, we'll probably be too tired when we get to Dashie's apartment to party..."
"The elevator is big enough to put the sleeping bags down..just barely, though," Fluttershy added in her usual whisper. "Should...should we just have the party in here?"
"YAY! Elevator slumber party!" Pinkie pulled a party popper from out of nowhere, then pulled the string, sending streamers all over the cart.
"Let's just hope that nopony needs to actually USE this elevator until we get there," Rainbow Dash grumbled. "Here's floor number three."
But instead of a hallway, the ponies saw something strange on the other end. Rather than a small space with a few chairs, the doors opened to Princess Celestia's sitting on her throne.
"Twilight? What are you doing here?" the bemused alicorn asked. "And where are you?"
"Stuck in a magically sealed elevator for six hours," Twilight replied. "I don't suppose you could help us?"
Celestia's horn glowed for some five seconds, and then faded. "This...this is the most powerful enchantment I have ever seen. Stronger than anything Discord or even Sombra could pull off."
"So...no go, then?" While Twilight could easily bypass the security measures with her obscene magic power, she didn't want to leave her Unawake friends behind, since they likely wouldn't be able to follow.
"I'm afraid you are on your own," Celestia said sadly. "On the bright side, this should make for a fantastic friendship report when you-"
The doors slid shut, cutting Celestia off mid sentence.
"Not even the Princess can help us?!" Rarity gasped. "And how did that elevator get to her throne room, anyways?"
"I think the enchantment is acting up again," Rainbow Dash replied. "Last week, I took the elevator up after a flying contest, but it stopped on floor 666 to let somepony else on. When we got to floor 699, it opened to a pair of minotaurs..." the Element of Loyalty coughed. "Anyways, at least it won't be boring."
The doors opened to floor four, revealing what looked like a fusion between a giant pony and a minotaur in the shower.
"We're running in the shadows of the niiiight! So baby, take my hand, we'll be alright!" he sang. "Surrender all your magic to me, tonight! They'll come-"
He turned around to reach for the soap, and came face to face with six ponies staring at him though a pair of doors that came out of nowhere.
And then all seven of them started screaming.
"DO YOU LITTLE PONIES HAVE ANY CONCEPT OF PRIVACY?! GET OUT! NOW!" Tirek shrieked. He tried to fire a bolt of lightning at them from his hand, but it dissolved against the elevator's invisible barrier. Mercifully, the laws of equine biology meant that the ponies didn't see anything particularly scarring, but this kind of situation was never pleasant for anyone.
After a full twenty seconds of Tirek flinging spell after spell at them, and the Unawake Elements panicking, the doors mercifully slid shut once more.
"Great," Rainbow Dash groaned, "now I'll see that in my nightmares for weeks. What next? Getting stuck in the Scariest Cave in Equestria?"
Fortunately, floor 6 seemed to be normal. There was a small hallway, with a few chairs and a mirror on the opposite wall. A repairpony with a saddlebag full of power tools awaited them, and cleared his throat.
"Hi, folks. You might have seen that the elevator system is acting up again. Looks like space-time is bending around it like taffy...fourth time this week."
Before Twilight could complain about how the magicians maintaining this enchantment must be totally incompetent, the stallion continued. "It's dividing where it should be multiplying time. What floor are y'all headed too?"
"Um...floor 700?" Fluttershy chimed in.
The repairpony winced. "Ah. Then, you'll be there in about...23 hours, give or take."
"23 HOURS?!" Rarity's eyes practically popped out of her skull, and she gasped dramatically. "We're stuck on this elevator for an ENTIRE DAY?!"
"Fraid so, folks. If it helps, we'll give you rent off for the month, miss Dash."
The elevator doors slid shut, and Rainbow Dash facehoofed again. "Argh. Next chance I get, I'm moving out of this place. Between this, the ice machines shooting out fire cubes instead of ice, and the showers with acid instead of water, I can't take this anymore."
(Gamerex27)
FLOOR 7:
Already hungry, Pinkie Pie had popped open the bag of marshmallows Applejack had brought. "Anypony have a microwave? No?"
The doors dinged, and opened to reveal a room totally on fire.
"Uh, can you two unicorns still use water spells? I don't want to be roasted pony," Rainbow Dash said nervously.
"Everything except teleportation and dimensional travel works, for the most part," said Twilight, "but the elevator is made of metal, so as long as we don't cross over the doors, we should be fine."
From behind a desk, a familiar blue unicorn popped up, her mane completely ablaze. "The Great and Powerful Trixie...needs to get out of here before she suffocates to death."
With that, she trotted into the elevator, giving Twilight a quick glance of disdain before turning to the buttons.
"Trixie admits, she might have gone too far this time," she said to no one in particular. "I was testing out a new smoke spell for a show in Manehattan, and, well, things got out of hoof. Maybe I'll do some sleight of hoof next show. Less dangerous. I can't put the fire out, but I don't think it hurts-"
She looked up to see Pinkie Pie holding a marshmallow above her burning mane, giggling as it turned a perfect shade of golden-brown.
"That will be twenty bits per s'more," Trixie warned her. "Trixie doesn't do this marshmallow trick often...or ever...so she'll have to charge ten bits extra."
If Pinkie Pie could hear her, she didn't show any signs of it, and soon had a good stockpile of s'more for the whole elevator to enjoy.
FLOOR 9:
The doors opened to reveal an empty elevator.
"Okay, no." Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Magical glitch or not, there is no way any construction ponies or architects would design a system like this!"
"It is getting a bit cramped in here, darling," Rarity said. "I say that we shouldn't look a gift bunny in the mouth, and head in there. Maybe the buttons there work properly?"
"Ah'm tryin," Applejack grumbled, "but Ah can't get through." Sure enough, any of her attempts to get through the door were repelled, as if she was trying to walk through a solid brick wall.
FLOOR 12:
The doors opened to reveal seven suspiciously familiar humans.
"Um..." the two Fluttershies, human and pony alike, stepped forwards, staring at one another through the barrier, and blushed.
"Great," the other Twilight said. "Fourth parallel universe in ten floors. Can't we get that library floor again?"
"Depends. Are you stuck in an elevator for a whole day too?" Rainbow Dash deadpanned, her wings flapping in annoyance.
"Hey, cool! That other me can fly!" The bipedal Rainbow Dash grabbed her cell phone, snapping a picture of her counterpart. "Even in another world, I'm still awesome!"
"Have you girls thought of any way out?" Pony Twilight asked.
"There's a call and emergency button on our end," her human self replied, "but they're both broken. I think it'll be hard to stay Awake for the full hours, so you should probably sleep in shifts, in case you find a way off."
As the other ponies nodded, Twilight caught the emphasis on one particular word. Mikasa Glitch?, she asked with a private telepathy spell.
Mikasa Glitch, the other Twilight confirmed. Watch out for the floor with the Luteces. They'll drive you crazy repeating themselves unless you agree to the coin flip.
(OracleMask)
FLOOR 14:
The doors opened to reveal a wide-open field. There were several smoldering craters and smoking suspiciously body-shaped objects scattered around.
"Now this is getting a mite ridiculous," Applejack complained, trying to shove her hoof through the invisible barrier keeping them in the elevator.
Suddenly a large male humanoid figure landed in front of the elevator doors.
"Ooh! A shiny Rapidash! I'm gonna catch it!"
"What are you - OW!" Trixie squealed in pain as the Pokeball bounced off her head.
"Aw, it didn't work. Guess I need to damage it first."
Twilight pounded the close door button frantically with both hooves. She did NOT want to find out if this elevator was resistant to ki-attacks.
(Dalexin)
FLOOR 20:
"Oh Blueblood, I love you! *smooching noises*"
"And I you, my flower! *more smooching noises*"
"My husband must never know of our illicit rendezvous!"
"Worry not, dear Fleur-de-Lis~"
At this, Applejack had had enough, and cleared her throat.
Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, both holding a small equine doll, looked up to see Twilight with her mouth agape, surrounded by her friends.
"...her idea." Was Shining's pitiful excuse for his involvement, while Cadence just waved as the door shut.
(Gamerex27)
FLOOR 36:
As the elevator neared the next floor, the ponies could hear voices loudly arguing.
"-all I'm saying is that you probably should have asked what those guys were doing before you attacked them!"
"It's not like I was in control at the time: it was the demon!"
"You can't-hee blame everything on your split personality, ho! I mean, they had enough problems with cannibalism-hee, did we really need to beat the crap out of them, ho?"
"Look, Hee-Ho, I know you just started Looping, but-"
The doors opened. On the other side, the ponies saw a small humanoid fairy dressed in blue, what looked like a walking snowman made of black ice and wearing jesters' clothing, and a young human boy covered in glowing tattoos, with a horn jutting out of his neck.
"-they're from our mega-Branch, too, so they need to know how to fight the big-" At this, the young man turned his gaze from his companions to the ponies. His face took on a blank expression.
"Oh. You guys."
"Um...do we know you?" Fluttershy asked, shrinking into her wings for comfort.
"...Right, you're not Awake, Yellow. Then I'll just leave you be and-"
The fairy elbowed him in the ribs with enough force to smash through a steel vault. "Hey, you promised to apologize to her when you saw her after you fixed your problem. That goes if she's Awake or not!"
Sighing, Naoki Kashima rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, not meeting the ponies' gazes. "Fine....Look, Yel-Fluttershy...I'm..." he hesitated, as if he could not decide what to say next. "Sorry for what I did, back when I saw you last time. I was in a bad place after...well, that, and I..." He finally chose to meet Fluttershy's gaze. "Guess I really am like the Old Man. Pride, and all. Can't even spit it out."
As the doors closed, the mysterious young man said one final thing. "When-if I see you again, Awake...then we can talk. We're going down, anyways."
Then, save the humming of the elevator as it ascended, there was silence. Then, Rainbow Dash said what was on all of their minds.
"What the hay was all that about?"
(Crisis)
FLOOR 42:
"Floor 42," a typical department store style recording chimed cheerfully, "where you can find great deals on life, the universe, and everything."
(Wing Zero 032)
FLOOR 44
As the Elevator's door opened, Twilight Sparkle noticed something wrong, very wrong.
At the borders of the edges of the elevator doors there were stuck three huge blocks of C-4 about 1Kg each accompanied by also three S.L.A.M.'s mines and claymores, quickly looking around to her and her unawake friends’ surprise and horror, a group of human soldiers, weapons aiming at them and not bothering to consider if the concentrated fire power of assault rifles, carbines, D.M.R.'s, shotguns, light machine guns, P.D.W.'s, sniper rifles and R.P.G.'s to a small place such as an Elevator would be pretty much overkill were already awaiting for them.
By all rights they should have died that moment had it not been for something completely unexpected: Right before anyone would pull the trigger on any weapon by reflex at the chime of the Elevator's bell, suddenly a transport helicopter crashed down over the group of their would-be executioners, nobody was spared, not even the guy with the C-4 remote trigger who was fairly away from the group.
And then, one soldier with a completely different uniform design slowly touched down near the burning wreck that once was a transport helicopter, right after checking his surroundings and confirm that everyone outside on the rooftop was actually dead, he began to do some quick crouching motions repeatedly and began to yell:
"ALL RIGHT YOU BASTARDS, NO MORE CAMPING FOR YOU!"
Right after then, the Elevator's doors began to close and began to move again, however that left six ponies were left stood still until their brains finally managed to process what the hay just happened.
"Wh-what they bucking hay was that!" said Applejack while turning to her companions in this now completely officially wild elevator ride: Rarity was petrified and her coat was actually more paler than usual, a huge feat considering that her coat is white, Rainbow was actually stuck to the ceiling by her subconscious Fight of Flight reflexes, Fluttershy was already playing possum... or had she actually fainted? however.
"I... I honestly don't know Applejack, I don't know" Twilight was giving her some odd feelings, like she knows more than anyone of them, yet she's honest about not knowing about this situation, however it was Pinkie's reaction which threw her out of her train of thought.
"He he, that was scary, but fun! LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THE NEXT FLOOR!" and right after that, the elevator chimed again opening to reveal the next floor...
(banjo2E)
Floor 69
The ponies stared at the scene outside the elevator for a few minutes.
Eventually, Twilight spoke. "Okay, I have to admit the spells on this thing are impressive if they can block this much water pressure, and the choreography is pretty good, but all this for an extended 'Cancer' pun?"
Lyra the mermaid shrugged. "Hey, beats the alternative. Great job, Sebastian, I knew you had it in you!"
(Gym Quirk)
FLOOR 73:
By the time they'd reached the mid-60s, the novelty had completely worn off and Twilight was trying not to seem too jaded.
"What's that alarm noise?" asked Fluttershy nervously as the doors closed on 72 and they waited to see what 73 had to offer.
The doors opened onto what the Anchor recognized as the bridge of a Federation starship. Probably late 24th Century based on the uniforms. The viewscreen showed a trio of Klingon warships on an attack run, firing photon torpedoes and disruptor cannons. The red alert klaxon was drowned out by the exploding tactical console. The crew was clearly too distracted by the battle to notice any spectators.
Then the doors closed and they were on their way to 74.
Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash. "Noisy neighbors..."
The pegasus shrugged.
(DrTempo)
FLOOR 87-
A cry pierced everypony's ears.
"SCREEEEE!"
Twilight quickly slammed the close button door as Freddy headed for them, saying, "I DO NOT want to deal with those things! Next floor!"
(Gamerex27)
FLOOR 100:
"Can we agree to never speak of that...thing again?" Rarity asked as the elevator doors mercifully closed on Floor 99. Her fellow Elements of Harmony quickly agreed.
"Well, we're one seventh of the way there," Fluttershy noted as the elevator ascended.
"Okay, I gotta ask. How in tarnation can you stand this trip every time you leave your apartment?" Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash, concern clearly written on her face.
"Look, I usually just fly up, okay?" Rainbow Dash pulled a keyring out of her saddlebag with her wing. "The apartments for pegasi have doors outside, so they can fly in. I would have taken that, but I've got you girls with me..."
The door opened to reveal...a view of themselves, from a strange angle.
"Huh?" Cautiously, Rarity looked through the door's threshold, as far as the barrier would let her go. "It looks like one of those recursive paintings (and I need to write that down for design ideas). But what are all of those white things? And the-oh. OH. EWWWWW!"
The Element of Generosity jumped back from the door as if she had been shocked, and pointedly turned around, refusing to look at it.
Looking for herself, Twilight put the pieces together. The white stalagmite/stalactites, the slimy pink surface in the cavern, and the dustings of a powdery white substance all over the cave.
"Pinkie," Twilight asked, "could you open your mouth wider for a few seconds?
"Sure thing! AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pinkie opened her jaw far wider than it should have been able to go.
Twilight stuck her head in Pinkie's mouth...and her face promptly reappeared at the elevator's door.
"Right. Please close that door before I throw up," Rainbow Dash begged.
(Custodator Pacis)
Floor 115
The elevator door opened to reveal four humans with weapons ready in their hands.
".....Richtofen, is this the work of your teleporter or because of Nikolai's vodka I just drank a minute ago? Because I'm sure as hell looking at six colorful horses in front of us right now," One of them spoke.
(FTKnight)
FLOOR 117
The door open Showing the Master Chief and the Arbiter, with a large viewing window behind them showing open space.
" We'll catch the Next one." The Chief said, before the door closed.
" ..... Za?" Applejack said voicing the collective confusion.
(KrisOverstreet)
FLOOR 123
The ponies were startled to see a clear plexiglass wall blocking off the elevator doors, just beyond the forcefield. Through the glass they could see giant human faces. The one in the center seemed to have a huge egg for a helmet, while another one had a black thing which could only be described as ludicrous.
The third one, the one in the military uniform, spun away from the elevator and shouted, "All right! Which one of you taped girly cartoons over the videotape of Spaceballs: the Movie??"
(Gamerex27)
FLOOR 143:
This time, the doors opened on a...courtroom?
"And so, Your Honor, it becomes clear that the claims of the accused are nothing but mad ramblings of a disturbed individual," said the strangely familiar prosecutor. "After all, there is no such thing as magic."
"OBJECTION!"
The spiky-haired defense attorney dramatically pointed at the elevator car hovering in midair. "Your Honor, the appearance of those pastel colored ponies in an elevator out of nowhere clearly invalidates the prosecution’s assertions!"
"Therefore," he said, dramatically slamming down on his desk, "the accused's account of being magically mind controlled into robbing that bank remain plausible!"
"Oh, my! They're so cute!" The judge cleared his throat. "Er, objection sustained. The court will now take a fifteen minute recess to re-evaluate the accused's claims of magical coercion into the bank robbery."
As the doors on their mobile jail cell slid shut once more, Twilight waved at Phoenix Wright, who mirrored her motion with a beaming smile.
"You know," Rarity mused as they ascended, "it was odd, how none of those...'humans,' you called them?...seemed to react much to the appearance of a disembodied elevator out of the blue."
"Trust me," Twilight muttered, "with everything that's happened in that courtroom, this doesn't even come on the top 100 list."
(queensarrow)
*yawn*"Twilight?"
*sigh*"Yes, Rarity?"
"How do you know what goes on in that courtroom?"
"Previous experience? You should probably get some sleep."
(FTKnight)
FLOOR 175
The Elevator gave off a soft ding as the doors opened, showing an anthropomorphic Luna in the middle of getting seduced by one James T. Kirk.
Both looked towards the elevator, and remained quiet while Luna raised an eyebrow.
"We saw nothing, and we know nothing. " Rarity said before pressing the "close door" button.
(Zetrien)
FLOOR 187:
The doors opened to a busy courtyard, full of bipeds of many types going to and fro. Standing in front of the elevator was a redheaded human in charcoal-black armor, flanked by a pair of scaly looking aliens.
After staring at them for a moment, the one in blue armor put a three fingered hand on the human's shoulder, and began pulling her away. "Not worth it, Shepard. Let's just take the stairs."
"What? Garrus, there aren't any-"
"We'll make some."
As the doors began to close, the alien in red armor nodded at them. "Sparkle."
"Wrex."
(KrisOverstreet)
FLOOR 190:
Snow blew in through the elevator doors.
"All I see is trees," Applejack muttered. "How about you, Dash?"
"There's some kind of light just past those pines over there," Rainbow Dash replied, holding a hoof over her eyes and squinting. "I think it... yeah, it's a wrought-iron lamp-post. Why would anypony put a lamp-post in the middle of a-"
Twilight Sparkle lunged for the close-doors button and kept pounding it repeatedly until, with agonizing slowness, the elevator doors closed.
"Now come on," Applejack grumbled, "after all th' weird stuff we've seen, you panic about a forest with a street light in it?"
"Trust me," Twilight gasped, slumping back against the elevator wall, "some doors are just best left shut."
(Hubris Plus)
FLOOR 193:
The scent of old mothballs drifted into the elevator. Thick coats hung just past the open doors, muffling the voices on the other side.
After a moment, the coats were pulled aside to reveal a quartet of human children peering in at them.
"I say, Lucy," the elder girl said. "That is a rather incredible wardrobe."
"Well," The younger boy pointed out. "It's still not a forest."
"Excuse me," the younger girl, presumably Lucy, asked. "Will this still take us to Narnia?"
"Sorry," Twilight answered. "We just passed it. You'll have to wait for a lift going the other way."
(KrisOverstreet)
FLOOR 197:
Yet again, the doors opened, this time to reveal a live studio audience, all dressed in bizarre costumes. Immediately in front of them, one costumed person stood beside a man wearing a cheap suit, her face falling in dismay at the the sight of the ponies.
"... six technicolor ponies!" an avuncular voice cried out from nowhere. "Yes, these ponies will clash with every single item in your home! Useful for carrying very small parcels, testing for color blindness, and inducing diabetic shock. This ZONK prize is worth: absolutely nothing!"
As the man in the cheap suit consoled the losing contestant, the ponies looked at one another. "I don't know which is more mortifying, darlings," Rarity said for them all, "being given away as a prize on a game show... or being a BOOBY PRIZE on a game show."
The closing elevator doors cut short the show's fanfare, sparing the ponies the annoyance of the commercial break.
(Stavaros_Arcane)
FLOOR 206
The massive Equine skeleton peered into the Elevator with its occupants. Oddly enough it had a name tag hanging around its neck identifying it as 'Bryan'.
The sunken empty eye sockets seem to stare at every last one of them. Until it spoke. "Oh my this lift seems a bit on the crowded side..." the skull turned to the buttons. "Oh and its heading upwards. My mistake. I'll just catch the next one heading down."
(elmagnifico)
FLOOR 250:
The doors opened on a large-looking room of concrete construction. A klaxon could be heard blaring in the distance, and amber lights flashed in sequence around the room. The first thing that drew Twilight's eye was a set of windows in the far wall, showing a control room bustling with humans dressed in blue military attire. One, a rotund balding male on the short side, seemed to be in charge, in that the others were either gawking in her direction or looking to the man for direction.
Motion drew her attention to a group of humans closer to the elevator. The four of them were dressed in green with black vests over the top. The one closest to her had thrown up his arms. His vocalization could only just be heard over the blaring alarms.
"I'm done."
He then took a green baseball cap off his head and started waving it around, revealing a short-cropped mane of gray hair.
"This is just too far. Evil aliens masquerading as Egyptian gods, fine. The pyramids are actually alien landing pads, fine. Nice aliens masquerading as Norse gods, fine. Weird quantum astrophysical negative space-time-wedgie shenanigans straight out of Star Trek, fine."
The hat was then waved at Twilight and her friends.
"But I draw the line at pastel-colored miniature horses in the Stargate."
The human then turned to one of his companions.
"Carter, please tell me there's a reasonable explanation for this, like you wished really, really hard for that pony you always wanted?"
The recipient shook her head.
"No, Colonel O’Neill, sir. The Event Horizon is supposed to be one-way to everything except high-frequency radio waves. Visible light doesn't travel at all. We shouldn't be able to see this even if it wasn't an outgoing wormhole."
Colonel O’Neill turned to another of his squadmates.
"Teal'c, this is as crazy for you as it is for the rest of us, right?"
The dark-skinned one with the gold on his forehead grunted.
"Indeed."
At this point, the bald man in the control room spoke into a microphone, his voice booming over the alarms.
"Ah, Doctor Jackson, the diplomacy boys want you to try making contact with the... Aliens."
The fourth member of the squad cleared his throat and started speaking in another language. Twilight recognized it from when she'd been in their loop, but before she could reply, the doors started closing. Pinkie Pie only just managed to smile, wave, shrug, and get two words in edgewise before their metallic prison sealed itself again.
"Sorry, kruvis!"
Twilight then proceeded to enact Pinkie Pie Coping Strategy #9: Roll eyes, smile, move on.
(Blazingen1)
FLOOR 312
The elevator doors opened to reveal Batman and Robin, who was slightly shorter than they were used to seeing, poised and ready to attack, batarangs raised, their masks covering their expressions of shock.
It was obviously Batman who recovered first and dropped his attack hand. “Hello Twilight, ponies.”
Pinkie beat twilight to the answer though. “Hi Batman! Hope you liked your last one, but im totally going to throw you a “Cheer Up Batman” Party the next time we meet. I’ll make sure there is no escape…” she added the last bit in a creepy manner.
Ignoring Pinkie, he deduced to Twilight, “You happen to be stuck in an elevator where time and space has been distorted to a degree that allows it to pop into existence in other worlds and times, am I right?”
“Got it in one.”said Twilight as the doors closed. Just before it did, pinkie stuck her face between the closing doors and said, “Hey! New Looper! I’m gonna throw you a party once…” the doors closed.
“…So, those were the ponies? Seem like a nice bunch. I don’t see why you’re so wary of Pinkie though.” Said Conan dressed in the Robin suit.
“… Look above your head, and your shirt.”
Looking up, he saw a colorful party hat perched on his head. Shocked that he felt nothing when it was placed there, he immediately looked down. He was wearing a thick red sweater with the words “Welcome New Looper” printed on it. In place of his batarang, it was a plastic bag with cake.
“What the… how did she? I was holding things! I didn't even feel anything. To do that she must have... but at the time she… huh?!!!”
“Now you see why I’m wary of her? I don’t get surprised often, but when it comes to her, I make an exception. If you tell anyone I told you that, consider yourself fired.”
The elevator doors opened again to reveal the normal empty elevator room. Walking inside alone, Conan still stunned, he pressed the up button.
“Now that she knows you’re looping, she will throw a party for you, and there will be no escape.”
And with those final words, the doors closed.
(Hubris Plus)
FLOOR 314:
The doors opened on a lived in kitchen, the color scheme drab but well cared for. A trio of ponies were seated around a worn wooden table in appropriately rustic attire.
"Hi Ma! Hi Pa! Hi Maud!" Pinkie chorused as the three turned to face the elevator that had appeared in their house.
"Pinkie," an aging stallion greeted, pulling his pipe from his mouth just long enough to offer a nod. His daughter trotted over to a cupboard and started rummaging.
"Ah wish ya'd called ahead," the older mare noted. "We ain't got nuthin' prepared."
"No worries," Pinkie reassured her mother. "We're just passing through on the way to Dashie's."
"Here," Maud said, shoving a box at her sister.
"Rock candy! Thanks Maud!" Pinkie enthused after taking a peak.
"You're welcome. Have a nice trip." Maud's inflection hadn't changed, but there was the smallest upturn to her lips at her sister's happy response.
"Well," Applejack said, grabbing a piece of rock candy after the doors had closed. "That weren't so bad. With any luck there'll be some fritters in store down the line."
(Gym Quirk)
FLOOR 349:
An unremarkable series of empty lobbies ended with a bleary-eyed Discord entering the elevator with a semi-coherent mumble. It sounded like a greeting, but the only word anypony could clearly identify was "coffee".
The draconequus was dressed in boxer shorts (suitably modified for his anatomy) decorated with 'strange attractor' butterflies and a black t-shirt emblazoned with "1 + 1 = Rutabaga" in an assortment of day-glo colors. He clutched an oversized travel mug showing a worn Decepticon logo.
Slightly daunted, nopony made any response beyond subdued greetings of their own.
The doors opened onto the next floor and the chaos spirit departed with another grunt. The lobby featured the insignia of a popular chain of coffee shops.
As the doors closed, the group turned to look at Fluttershy. "Some days, he's not much of a morning person," she explained.
(fractalman)
FLOOR 404
The door opened to reveal...
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
(Gym Quirk)
"Would this be an improvement on 403?" asked Rarity. "The doors didn't even open on that one."
(Snakes_Shadow)
FLOOR 444:
No one was quite sure how it worked, but the doors opened for the 30 seconds, and the few months it took for the full, original Old Man Henderson event.
"That explains so much!"
"Ouch, keep it down Applejack, trying to analyze that, that, I can't even think of the term right now, gave me a migraine. Anypony have asprin?"
(Gamerex27)
"I believe, dear," Rarity said, as she levitated a bottle of pills out of her purse, "that the word you're looking for is called a 'clusterbuck'."
(Snakes_Shadow)
Twilight downed the pills.
"That, too, I suppose, but I think I wanted something more like anomaly. Like our situation isn't anomalous enough."
(fractalman)
Pinkie Pie snapped her hoof. "I know! It was a negative elevator wedgie!"
(katfairy)
FLOOR 473
The doors opened onto the bridge of what looked like a spaceship. One of the crew spotted them and made a strangled noise, attracting the captain's attention. The tall silver-haired woman stood and turned to face them, aiming some sort of arm cannon. She didn't fire, though. Instead, she looked at each one of them carefully, glare intensifying when she spotted Pinkie.
"Ketchum," she growled, lowering her arm. The woman turned back to her crew. "Ignore them! They'll disappear in a few seconds, and they are Not. Our. Problem."
As the doors closed, the others looked at Pinkie, who shrugged.
"She was a big ol' grumpy-pants last time I saw her, too."
(KrisOverstreet)
FLOOR 500
Beyond the doors lay the Void. Swirling anticolors shone in the depths of nonspace, and on the fringes of fern-shaped holes in reality tiny figures flew and swarmed.
"Ooooh!" Pinkie chirped. "I remember this place! I wonder if Slanny's as grumpy as ever! Yoo-hoo, Slanny!!!"
Twilight reflected, as the incomprehensible dimension between space screamed as one and tried to fold in upon itself, that when a pony stares into the abyss the abyss stares back; but when Pinkie Pie stares into the abyss, the abyss closes its eyes, sticks fingers in its ears and shouts, "LALALALALALALALALA," hoping Pinkie goes away.
(Gamerex27)
FLOOR 531:
When the doors opened, Twilight had to clamp her hoof against her mouth to keep herself from screaming.
On the other end of the twin doors was a towering humanoid creature, wearing a black suit and tie. It was gaunt-no, slender- and its limbs were far too big to look like anything natural.
"Eep!" Fluttershy shrank into herself, backing into the elevator's corner.
The creature looked around the elevator cart, surveying all of its potential victims. Eventually, a small slit of a mouth appeared on its otherwise blank, featureless face.
"Hei guuuuuuuuuys," said the Slender Man." I heard you were having a par-ty. I would like to be in that par-ty."
Twilight blinked. On one hoof, this particular variant of the monster was considerably less dangerous, so she wouldn't have to risk using the Elements when all of them were so fatigued by their long journey. On the other hoof, he was annoying. On the third hoof...not letting him on would compromise the entire concept of friendship she and her friends treasured.
"Uh, the elevator's sort of full right now. Maybe you can...take the next one up?"
"Really? You are scared of him?" Trixie trotted up to the doors, and glared at the eldritch abomination. "Trixie told you, Slendy, we were through after you nearly ate Trixie's audience!"
The colossal man-shaped thing frowned, and Twilight could have sworn she saw his lips quivering in distress. "But I was starviiiiing! And that last trick you did with the whipped cream and strawberries made me hungry!"
Trixie facehoofed. "Urgh, fine. Trixie will let you on so long as you promise not to-"
Unfortunately (or fortunately), both the ponies and the monstrosity had lost track of time, and the doors slid shut before the Slender Man could enter the elevator.
"Don't. Ask." Trixie hissed as Twilight opened her mouth to ask the inevitable question.
(banjo2E)
FLOOR 536:
The doors opened onto a stage facing a packed theater, which broke out into applause as an announcer boomed, "...the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
The ponies inside the elevator blinked, then turned to face Trixie...who was already walking out of the elevator. "Thank you, thank you. Pay no mind to the fire in the theater, it will be put out short---"
A torrent of water poured from somewhere above directly onto Trixie to laughter and more applause. When it cleared, Trixie's mane was (finally) no longer on fire, and the rest of her body was completely dry.
"Now, before we go any further," Trixie turned towards the elevator, "you do have tickets to this show, right?"
The ponies in the elevator remained in stunned silence...except for Pinkie Pie. "Nope! I can categorically state that all of us got in here without paying!"
Trixie sighed dramatically. "I see. Well, Trixie must apologize, but she'll have to make you disappear now."
As the doors closed, Applejack asked, "Hang on, was she actually expecting this to happen?
"No, I think she's just that good at improv," replied Twilight.
(Gamerex27)
FLOOR 551:
At first glance, this floor was nothing but a blank white space. Then, text began floating across the void, shifting rapidly.
"GUYS, WE NEED TO BEAT MISTY!"
"UP DOWN LEFT RIGHT DEMOCRACY"
"GET RECKED"
"PRAISE HELIX!" This phrase was accompanied by the fossil of some kind of ancient organism, sliding across the blank landscape.
"Anarchy!"
The last word lazily floated out of Pinkie's mouth, taking form as a pink-colored series of letters, and drifted out of the elevator to join the crowd of voices.
Twilight slowly turned to face her friend. "How...I thought nothing could leave the elevator?"
The Element of Laughter giggled. "Nopony can leave the elevator! Words can get out juuuust fine!"
(KrisOverstreet)
FLOOR 555:
Purple-coated pony looked at purple-clad man with perplexity.
"Well, this isn't the TV room," the man commented to the other people in his elevator. "It's just another elevator. Not even made of glass."
"Oooh! Oooh! Mr. Wonka! Hi, Mr. Wonka!" Pinkie Pie bounced up and down, waving her hooves frantically for attention.
"Oh! Hello, Miss Pinkie!" the candy maker said. "That trick you suggested with the sprinkles worked wonderfully! Here," he said, patting around his pockets, then pulling out some little boxes. "Try these and let me know what you think next time we meet!" The boxes clattered on the floor of the ponies' elevator.
"Will do, Mr. Wonka!" Pinkie grinned, gathering up the boxes and stashing them in her mane.
"Must get this down, must get this down..." Wonka had pulled a pen and notepad out of his pocket and was writing frantically. "Cotton candy... grape..." The pen jabbed at Rarity. "Marshmallow..." It pointed next to Fluttershy. "Lemon..." Next, to Rainbow Dash. "Tutti-frutti..." And finally, to Applejack. "And orange!"
"Orange??" The farmer pony couldn't keep the outrage out of her voice. "Apple!"
"Apple?" Willie Wonka shook his head as the elevator doors began sliding shut. "No, that combination will never work..."
(Detective Ethan Redfield)
FLOOR 590:
The door opened to reveal Rainbow Dash in a neat business suit that could only be described as stylish. She looked at Elevator Dash, then to her watch and muttered in a posh tone, "Oh my. Got to get these numbers to Supervisor Mare in ten seconds or she'll have my head."
She made to enter the elevator, only for Elevator Dash to shout, "Wait! This elevator is...going down, and you will never make it to Supervisor Mare if you take this one."
Businessmare Dash gave a half-lidded expression, looking to Dash, then the elevator symbol overhead signalling the elevator is heading up, then back to Dash, "Are you a corporate spy from another company? Or perhaps from Tirek's wing? He's been pushing to shut our wing down for years. I'm coming in."
Dash shook her head, "This elevator won't take you to Supervisor Mare! Don't you find it weird that there's two of us?"
Businessmare Dash looked again, then shrugged and stepped inside. Elevator Dash facehooved. And then the door closed behind them.
FLOOR 591:
The ding echoed in the elevator, revealing a field of grass as far as the eye could see. Elevator Dash waved her hoof at the field, "See?"
Businessmare Dash merely looked at the elevator buttons, "Did you push every button on this thing?"
She looked outside, then smiled, "Looks like the wheat research is coming along nicely."
This time, the entire elevator crew facehooved.
(Drachefly)
FLOOR 592:
The door opened into an office space and the business mare stepped out, shaking her head. "Pfeh. 'Doesn't go there.' Just two floors."
Rarity was the first to recover. "This is so unfair!"
(Gamerex27)
FLOOR 600
"One hundred floors left, Dashie. Then you can crawl back into bed, and forget this ever happened," the Element of Loyalty told herself, shaking a little as she spoke aloud.
Twilight patted her distressed friend on the back with her forehoof. Even though they were nearly done, Rainbow Dash had already started to fray a little.
The doors opened to reveal a messy apartment.
"That...THAT'S...not my apartment," the pegasus grumbled. "I'm not the neatest pony around, but I don't let papers and stuff cover every inch of my floor. Who even lives...here..."
The sounds of glass breaking, followed by the horrified screams of many, many ponies sounded through the door. As well as the cries of a horrific beast.
"OOPS! SORRY, MAYOR MARE! CLEAR OUT OF THE WAY; MAILMARE COMING THROUGH!"
If she were human, Twilight's face would be as pale as marble. "Oh no. Not again."
"I DIDN'T SEE THAT SKYSCRAPER THERE! OOPS, I DIDN'T MEAN TO SET OFF THAT THUNDERCLOUD!"
The sound of enormous flapping wings was audible just outside of the building. Then, a humongous grey head crashed through the skyscraper, breaking through the windows, and stopping just short of the elevator itself.
"I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG!" Derpzilla screamed.
Before Twilight could even move, Rainbow Dash flew right at the close door button at sub-Rainboom speeds, and slammed into it with all of her might. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, the doors slid shut, and the elevator carried on.
"Whuzzat? What happened, sugarcube?" Applejack said, cracking one eye just barely open.
"Uh..nothing to worry about. You already did your watch; you can go back to sleep."
"Right, that's it. I'm quitting my shift," Rainbow Dash declared. "If you wake me up before we get to my apartment, I will buck you in the face."
With that, she collapsed on the ground, snoring away as the elevator dinged to the thankfully normal Floor 601.
(Leonite)
FLOOR 628
Twilight eeped as she stumbled back as a massive semi-canine head stuck its way in, its eyes full of hellfire, its skin red and black, its teeth dripped with blood and-
"Hi Khorne!" Pinkie cried out. "I haven't seen you for loadsa loops!"
"Oh, Pinkie." Said Chaos God of Rage, Slaughter and Combat muttered, his voice sounding like the growl of a deep furnace. "Always good to see someone who can do a better job than Slaanesh... but why are you here?"
"Stupid glitched elevator." Twilight replied. "It... it doesn't even make sense. How are we in your loop?"
Khorne just put a look of disbelief on his face, even as Pinkie nodded, as if to confirm the story. "You ponies run into weird things." Khorne Muttered as he pulled his head out of the elevator, which closed behind him.
(Dalexin)
"Pinkie, how long have you been Awake?"
"Oh, since like, floor 12? Something like that. Did I forget to ping?"
"...yeah. Yeah you did, but it's fine. At least I'm not alone."
Rainbow Dash grumbled from the floor. "Waking Up just makes me want to get home and fall asleep more."
(KrisOverstreet)
FLOOR 641:
"PRISONER ZERO HAS ESCAPED."
Twilight jerked up from a sound sleep. What floor were they on? Somewhere in the six hundreds?
The open elevator doors showed absolutely nothing else but a single immense eyeball.
"Huh? Whuzzat?" Rainbow Dash muttered, lifting her head off of Pinkie Pie's belly.
"PRISONER ZERO HAS ESCAPED."
Rainbow Dash gazed bleary-eyed at the wide-open single eye in the doorway. "Well, she sure as buck isn't in here!" she replied.
The eye glanced around for a moment. "CONFIRMED," the booming voice added, and as the elevator doors closed, it added, "SORRY."
"What was that about?" Twilight wondered aloud.
"Who cares?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Go back to sleep."
(Gamerex27)
FLOOR 700:
"Must...stay...awake..." Rarity moaned, swaying unsteadily on her hooves. "Almost...there."
"Three...two...," Twilight counted.
And the doors slid open, revealing a perfectly normal floor of the apartment complex.
"ONE! EVERYPONY, OFF THE ELEVATOR!"
In unison, the unicorns' horns began to glow, lifting the sleeping forms of Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy (Pinkie had never fallen asleep, due to her seemingly boundless energy, though her eyelids were starting to droop), and bolted out of the elevator just as the doors closed once more.
"Finally," Twilight sighed. "Chestnut damn it, that was one of the most annoying things I've ever dealt with. In the top million, at least."
"Zhuh? We here?" Rainbow Dash's eyes slowly opened, and then practically popped out of her head. "WE'RE HERE! WE'RE FREE!"
"Five more minutes, Granny," Applejack mumbled, as she was roused from her fitful slumber.
"You know," Pinkie commented, as she reached for the doorknob, "you're a heavy sleeper for a farmpony."
"Had a bad Loop," the orange mare said in response, slowly getting to her feet. "The Loop memories of this whole darn trip ain't helpin'."
"Oh, so we're all Awake now?" Fluttershy said, getting to her hooves and yawning. "Sorry...I think we were all too preoccupied to send out a Ping."
"Hey..." Pinkie Pie said, "the door is unlocked. Dashie, did you forget to lock the door?"
"No," said an oddly familiar voice from inside the apartment, "I let myself in. Hope you don't mind!"
"What?" The ponies struggled to get through the doorway first, and ended up piled on the floor, a tangle of tails and hooves.
"Cleanup on Aisle Three!" Discord, wearing a bathrobe and holding a thermos of coffee in one claw, picked up the ponies one by one, depositing them onto a couch shaped like a grocery store cart.
"It...this was YOU?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, her eyes narrowing in rage.
"What's the problem?" Discord huffed, putting down the spray can of paint that he had been huffing from. "I was just having a bit of fun! I just ignored your Ping, and you fell for the oldest trick in the book: the good ol' cursed elevator!" He snapped his fingers, and a book poofed into existence. He flipped to the first page, which depicted an ominously glowing elevator, with the caption "Trick #1: The Good Ol' Cursed Elevator prank", complete with instructions on how to bypass and subvert magical wards protecting it. "See? Here it is, page number one! I even went to the trouble of getting on for a few floors, to make it even funnier!"
"Do you have any idea how annoying that was?!" Twilight snapped, any patience she had drained by the long day spent inside the metal, mobile prison.
"Oh, like one day makes any difference to a Looper," the spirit of chaos said dismissively. "We're all billions of years old-what difference does a day make?"
"It's the principle of the thing," the Element of Magic replied.
"Don't look at me like that," Discord grumbled, placing a blindfold over Twilight's eyes to make sure that she would not look at him like that. "It was a harmless prank!"
"True," Twilight said, ascending to alicornhood in a flash of light, "but you forgot one thing. Girls?"
The remaining five ponies followed her lead, and their horns began to glow a bright white.
When the light faded, Discord found himself in the very same elevator the ponies had just left.
"Trying to beat me at my own game, eh?" Discord said, stroking his beard in thought. "Let's see what they came up with for the floors!"
The door opened to FLOOR 3, revealing a perfectly normal hallway.
"Trying to fake me out, huh? No matter," the trickster said to himself, "what's one or two boring floors out of a few hundred exciting ones?"
Floor 4 was exactly the same.
"Oh...oh no..." Discord whispered, horror dawning in his face.
FLOOR 5 was also normal. As was FLOOR 6, and FLOOR 7, and FLOOR 8...
Discord tried to teleport away, but found that his magic was blocked by the remnants of his own prank. He was trapped here, forced to experience nothing but monotony for the entire day.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
Back on FLOOR 700, Twilight smirked. "Turnabout is fair play."
(Snakes_Shadow)
Several weeks after the "Elevator Incident":
The girls were heading back to Rainbow Dash's apartment for another party. Twilight cast several diagnostic spells as had become her custom after the "elevator ride of doom" (as Pinkie wanted to call it) before letting anyone on.
"Nope. Nope nope nope. We are not getting on this one until it gets fixed."
"But-"
"No, Pinkie. Dash is going to fly up to her apartment and open a window, wile I cast wall-walking spells on everyone else, and we are walking up to her apartment."
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That was really fun, there were some great ones and only a couple I didn't get. Specifically floors 12, 206 and 473. I got the Luteces but not the Mikasa thing. Anyone wanna fill me in?
I loved that part.
Well, it was not the worst prank he ever did.
5232533 In one of the Attack on Titan (or Shingeki no Kyojin if you're more familiar with that name) loops, one of the 3 Co-Anchors, Mikasa, Awoke alongside other Mikasas as well, all with memories of the loops as well. Another Co-Anchor, Armin, studied this and coined the term "Mikasa Glitch", which is what happens when more than one of the same person, each having memories of looping, is in a particular loop. Hope this helps. Also try not to confuse this with Mini-me loops, or variants there-of. They both have many of one person, but Mini-mes usually have only one Looper.
Also, I didn't get the 206th or 473rd floors either.
FLOOR 641 : They should have known what that was, they've been through that loop before as the Doctor then.
FLOOR 44 : six ponies... Trixie's there too though...
Floor 187: THANK YOU
Best chapter in a long while, now could you do it with the secondary loopers?
I loved the part about the abyss ignoring Pinkie Pie!
Re: Floor 190-- Bad run-in with Jadis in a previous Loop or something?
Loved the Wonka run-in on Floor 555, btw...!
BEST. ONE. YET.
Edit:
Floor 14: "Damn It, Nappa!"
Floor 117: My reaction would've been "It Is An Honor And A Privilege To Meet You, SIR!"
Floor 312: A Robin whose real name is 'Conan'? Conan Edogawa/Shinichi (Jimmy) Kudo is Looping too?
5235612
I think there was one where Twilight had to kill Jadis to stop the Deplorable Word.
Floor 117: Okay, now you HAVE TO get a Fused Loop with the Chief and Arbiter. No backing out now that they got a floor on the elevator.
Floor 42: ...Ow...
>Twilight quickly slammed the close button door
Word swap?
FLOOR 190? Narnia? I bet there is a pretty interesting story behind that.
Am I the only one thinking of the Elevator Source Gmod map?
Kirk still getting action with hot
alien babes 
Or at least a human Luna 
Discord sure got his own medicine!
5340078 I thought the exact same thing actually. I'm surprised there wasn't a single mention of Pinkie raising her hoof to look at a wrist watch or something.
6805364 Discord or Pinkie coughing like mad.
Wait, if they were all Awake by the end of the ride, why didn't they all just Ascend and fly up the second time?
6880125
Because ascension is not always the preferred solution, for reasons of taste if nothing else.
5238861 look vegeta a pokemon
What was floor 190?
8269825
Narnia. Twilight had a bad experience there once when she had to actually kill someone (even if it was a villain - Jadis, the White Witch), and doesn't want to repeat it.
Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.
5232985
the floor 473 was Bounty Hunter J's ship from the Pokemon anime, hence the captain saying "ketchum"
Hahahahha, love how Batman figured it out instantly... how did Discord manage to get them in so many different universes through?
8766192
Discord is about the closest thing to an Admin there is in the MLP Branch. In fact, he's probably being actively suppressed by other Admins to prevent him from accidentally Ascending.
There's...too much to unpack here...just, well done. This is one of my favorites.
8766192
He could’ve had a few loops as several different inter-dimensional beings and worked from there.
Floor 190, I'm at a loss. Anyone know?
10376798
Narnia.
8862928
Honestly knowing Discord he's suppressing himself. He doesn't want the responsibility of admining a loop saying nothing of ascending may do to his home loop.