Loops 81
81.1 (Indalecio)
Chiyo was new to this all 'looping' business. She'd had a few loops before, but they'd all been like her normal human self, so when noticed she'd had hooves this time around her first thoughts were not particularly surprising.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Chill out..." Spike paused. "Short Stuff." He sniggered.
"It's not funny! I don't have hands! And I'm probably late for class!" Chiyo got up and tried to run for the nearest exit.
She felt a strong tug on her body and was pulled back. Her body was turned around, and she was face to face with Spike.
"Okay. Calm down! Breathe!" Said Spike encouragingly.
To her surprise, she found out she was doing so.
"Okay, now what's the last thing you remember?"
"I was boarding a plane to America. Oh! This must be the start of a new loop! But I don't recognize anypony. Wait, did I just say 'Anypony'?"
"Anypony is fine here. This is probably your first fused loop."
Chiyo nodded.
"Now try to think back to what your memories are telling you. Your other memories."
"Wait, I was reading about the Mare in the Moon. She was going to return on the Longest Day after 1000 years! That's tomorrow! I've got tell somepony!"
"Calm. Breathe."
Chiyo sucked in a huge breath and let it out.
"Oh! I can tell Princess Celestia! She'll probably know what to do!"
"Okay! You're doing great! I can take down a letter and send it to the Princess."
After sending the letter a short period passed and Spike belched again. He unfurled the scroll and read out loud.
"Dear Short Stuff,
I'm glad you're paying attention to your studies, but you must simply stop reading those dusty old books. There is more to a young filly's life than studying. So I'm sending you to oversee the preparations for this year's Summer Sun Celebration, Ponyville. And I've got a more essential task for you to complete; make some friends."
At seeing Chiyo's downcast face, Spike spoke up. "That's pretty normal. Don't worry about it."
"So we're off to Ponyville?"
"We're off to Ponyville."
81.2 (yannoshka)
Major Tiana Ramboux of Commonwealth Marine Crusaders surveyed her team, with pursed lips.
They were earth's best and brightest. The CMC alpha team sent into the hardest missions to protect mankind from extrasolar threats. And they were so good as to have 0 mortality rate where even the second best team suffered 30% casualties per mission.
And they were also the textbook ur-example of ragtag bunch of misfits.
The Algerian massaged her aching temples as she tried to cope with the fact that her second in command and her pilot were in the process of beating the stuffing out of each other. Again.
It said much for their group dynamics that the other three members of the team were paying no attention to the rumpus.
"Another ship maintenance argument?" she tiredly asked lieutenant Bell.
"You know it Diamond. Apple was harping again on the unnecessary amount of work Scooter's grandstanding maneuvers out of combat create. You know Scooter - fighter jock to the bone, so she responded with her usual in-your-face brash idiocy." The classy Englishwoman shrugged in dismissal.
"After the bruises I got last time I tried to get between the two of them, I'm staying well clear of it."
"And you two?" Major turned her gimlet glare which earned her her nickname to the other two.
Xenia Nidalli and Bianca Salvatore y Cuchara de la Plata, were team's assault specialists and more than strong and skilled enough to separate the brawling pair.
"Esas dos están completamente locas, Mayor." The improbably white haired latina answered, her eyes rolling in exasperation behind her glasses and her Nigerian counterpart hurried to add on.
"If it looked like they were going to do serious harm to each other, we'd have stepped in Diamond you know that. So we figured to let them get it out of their system in controlled environments."
And then, as one, all six of them awoke to the loop.
A short time and two quick application of nanoheal later the six loopers were joined in conference by the three Founder's ghosts.
"So, to recap, we are in human loop that centers around Solar system defense from alien invaders with lots of planetside combat, and the six of you represent an elite multinational strike team. The best one there is apparently" Cookie mused bemusedly.
"So, what are our options?" Clover cut in on her compatriot's musings.
“To determine that, I think we need more information. As I see it there are three main questions here. Who are we fighting? What resources do we have to fight with, and how do they scale with our foe's? How much are we dedicated to playing out this loop?” As per norm, Pensee took the lead when matters turned toward strategy. Even Diamond Tiara bowed downed to the founders acumen in that area.
“As far as aliens are concerned, they are a celluloitic lifeform...” Sweetie Belle began answering...
Admiral Antoan Luis Péricarde, better known to the multiverse at large as Jean Luc Picard, was not enjoying the loop overmuch. The stress induced by keeping a low profile while being a prominent public figure was considerable and the maudite barbe itched like the blazes. And to top it all of he had a mission of utmost importance for the safety of this loop's solar system, which further meant he had to contact his only team that had any hope whatsoever to pull it of. That in and by itself shouldn't have been so bad, except that the asinine command structure demanded that he do so personally, and he was prepared to bet NCC-1701-D that sooner or later, if they haven't already, that that bunch will turn out to be loopers.
He reviewed their files once more, as if they would be able to tell him if the people in question were Awake or not.
Major Tiana Ramboux, call-sign Diamond, was a former high priced corporate soldier for hire who enlisted as soon as the reality of extraterrestrial threat was made certain. She quickly distinguished herself both as a soldier and as a leader. Her disciplinary records were not so clean, stemming mostly from her lack of patience with fools and bureaucratic oversight.
Captain Alexandra 'Apple' Blum was an oddity. One would think degrees in mechanical, aeronautical and electronics engineering out of MiT would lead her to the R'n'D, but so far all and every attempt to reassign her so resulted in her offering to resign, and an unspoken but certain promise that with her out, so would be the financial and material support of the Smith-Blum consortium. She was after all the younger sister of consortium's current CEO.
Lieutenant Brianna Bell was another odd duck in her own way. How many officers in any armed forces could add 'operatically trained' to their resume, after all. A daughter of SAS colonel she practically grew up with a gun in her hand, and even won Cambridge where she was getting her bio-sciences degree several gold medals on the marksmanship team.
Then there was sargent Xenia Nidalli. She at least was fairly normal. Barer of several medals for courage and valor for endangering herself to pull wounded allies from the line of fire.
Sargent Bianca Salvatore y Cuchara de la Plata, was also fairly normal, save for the fact that she was heiress to large estates in her native Argentina.
And then, there was the piece d'. The authentic, real deal, ge-nu-i-ne maverick. Song 'Scooter' Loo. The Chinese girl was five feet three package of bad attitude, blind arrogance and the very worst of fighter jock stereotype. She was drummed out of ROCAF, and would have been out of CMC save for the fact she was a prodigy at the controls of any kind of flying craft. And Admiral was darkly certain, not even that would have saved her career if she had not fallen into the able clutches of Major Ramboux.
He sighed dejectedly, then pulled his face into the ebullient mask of his in-loop persona and keyed in a communication request to CMC vessel “Bad Seed”
Having decided to stick out with the loop for the moment, crusaders and the founders were in the middle of hashing out the finer details on their plans when the emergency com signal alarm bleared.
“Well girls, looks like we're going to get our marching orders” DT grinned toothily at her friends as she remotely accepted the vid-con.
The wall mounted screen blossomed into the magnificently bearded visage of the Commonwealth Marine Crusaders Commandant.
“What new fires can we put out for you for you Admiral?” Frankly DT was appalled by how irreverent she was acting, but she was supposed to be a former merc with no respect for desk-jockeys and it wouldn't do to break her role at that point.
"Si votre bande d'abrutis insubordonnés n'étiez pas aussi utiles...” Despite his clear ire, admiral's words were almost conversational.
“Oui, oui, mon admiral! Je m'excuse. You have a mission for us, oui?”
“We have discovered what is believed to be lichen's premier listening post on the surface of Proteus. I don't have to teach you your job. Take ton bande de joyeux tarés and do it. The rest of information is in the briefing we have just uploaded to “Bad Seed”. Time is of the essence. Au revoire Major!”
“Ya know gals, Admiral looked mighty familiar to me...”
“Sure he did Bloom, sure, he did...” DT dismissed Apple Blooms concerns offhandedly as she puzzled over the briefing.
"No Ah'm telling you, I'm certain we've encountered him outside this loop..."
"Well I'm certain I don't recognize him, and I perform mental strengthening and organization exercises twice a day..."
81.3 (barryc100588)
Mac's Bar was open for business and full of loopers, including a certain purple dragon, and he was telling a story about one of his adventures to the audience. the Crusaders were especially captivated.
"I had just entered the third area of the Forgotten Worlds, Evening Lake, and I decide to go look and see if there was anyone captive here, too. I figured the Sorceress would do that, if Sergeant Bird and Sheila the Kangaroo were anything to go on. And sure enough, in the central tower of the area, I found a yeti in a cage, with my old "friend" Moneybags the Bear "guarding" him."
Apple Bloom chose this moment to interrupt. "It's incredible how, how..."
"Duplicitous!" Sweetie piped up.
"Um, what does that mean, Sweetie?" Scootaloo asked.
"It means to be deceptive or double-dealing. In this case, Moneybags agreed to keep the animals the Sorceress captured locked up, but also agreed to free those same animals if paid." Sweetie explained.
Scootaloo coughed what sounded like "dictionary" under her breath.
Spyro chuckled. "he is duplicitous, Apple Bloom. Now back to my story. I paid him 1000 gems to free Bently, and after calling him, an, and I quote, 'avoricious, duplicitous, larcenous ursine', he clubbed Moneybags with his club before knocking him away and inviting me into his world."
Twilight winced. "He sounds pretty violent."
Rainbow chose then to speak up. "I don't know about you, Twilight, but if I was locked up by someone for money, and that same person freed me for money, I'd get pretty violent too."
Other loopers in the room were nodding in agreement.
Spyro nodded. "Each of the captive animals were violent to Moneybags, if you recall."
81.1 continued (Indalecio)
It was one of the odd loops for Osaka so far, not that she particularly minded. She got to bake these wonderful Okinawan doughnuts called sata andagi. Also, she was a unicorn, and currently holding one of said doughnuts in her telekinetic grip. She was standing in the middle of Ponyville's main street, as her loop memories were suggesting she should wait here.
"Oh right. Kyon said I didn't have to do that anymore." She was just about to turn and leave when she heard a flapping. In the distance an ivory and gold chariot arrived, stopping a little distance from her. Its two passengers disembarked a small dragon and an orange unicorn foal with a star pattern on her flank. She trotted up to the two.
"Hey Chiyo," She wasn't sure it was Chiyo, but the pattern fit.
"Oh! Osaka!" Her eyes lit up, and she tackled Osaka in a hug.
"I take it you two know each other?" asked Spike.
"Oh! I almost forgot; this is Spike. He's one of the loopers native to Equestria. He's been a big help!"
Spike beamed a little at that, polishing a claw off his chest.
"Have you seen any of our other friends?"
"Well.." She was interrupted by the sounds of a whistle being blown.
"Halt! Freeze! Stop in the name of the law!" A brown earth pony with black hair ran up to the trio.
"I've never you two before, and I know everypony in Ponyville." said the newcomer.
"Tomo! It's me Chiyo! And you recognize Osaka!" her eyes darting from Tomo to Osaka.
"Ah! It's the same madness Deep Fried's got! Is it contagious? I've got to get the hazmat suits! Wait, what if I'm already infected!" Tomo started running around chasing her tail, until she was stopped by another earth pony, who bopped her over the head. She was a yellow earth pony wearing a pink cheongsam dress. She bowed.
"I really must apologize for my friend here. I'm Curry Noodle, and this is Fair Cop. She can be a very silly pony at times." Her last sentence said in a serious tone as she faced Tomo.
"Oh! I'm Short Stuff; this is Spike, and this is..." bowing and then nodding to Osaka.
"Pleased to meet you." said Spike, and giving a little bow.
"Deep Fried. Pleased to meet you." said Osaka, also bowing.
"We've met. We've lived in Ponyville for how many years?" Yomi deadpanned.
"Oh right." said Osaka sheepishly.
"Well, we'll let you get on with your business."
"Oh, hold on!" said Spike fumbling with a clipboard in his hands. "We're representatives of Princess Celestia. We're overseeing the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration."
He examined the clipboard. "You said your names were Fair Cop and Curry Noodle? Fair Cop is handling security? And you and Deep Fried are handling catering?"
"Yep!" yelled Tomo.
Osaka and Yomi both just nodded.
"Well, let's see what you have in mind."
81.4 (elmagnifico)
Macintosh put down his flagon. It was pretty much empty. Even after all the things the loops had thrown at him, having the sun-mover herself in his bar, albeit incognito, and wanting to commiserate, made him want to go for the stronger stuff. But no, this was supposed to be a place where any person could come for help, be it alcoholic or psychologic. Making an exception for this one by sloshing himself would be catastrophically hypocritical.
Easy, Macintosh. Breathe in, breathe out. Just another looper, looking for a drink. All that was different was this one moved the sun on a more regular basis than the others that came through. Although, that did raise a question.
"Yall've been here before, why the get-up?"
The mare who had introduced herself as Rose Eyes didn't respond immediately. A sigh sent her purple-and-white mane rippling.
"Remember when you realized who I was? You tensed up. I saw that every time I was in here, both from the new loopers, and from you. I surmised you would be more comfortable not knowing my name, and it seems I was right.”
She jostled the flagon, swirling its contents around.
“I really do like the mountain-cider though. Reminds me of one of Starswirl's favorites.”
Macintosh didn't know how to respond to that, so he let the silence hang there for a moment.
“You must forgive me if I'm being too forward.”
He quirked an eyebrow. Now there was a loaded sentence. She seemed to pick up on that, and clarified.
“One of the best things about the loops is that my sister and I are no longer the only immortals around. Keeping from getting attached to those around them, being able to only share with a select few the burdens of the ages, while still seeing those fleeting others as people, these are things an undying ruler must accept. Loopers share a similar burden.”
He humphed introspectively. He hadn't looked at it that way.
“Now, even though that burden hasn't changed in its essence, there are now several dozen new ponies, liable to still be there for a while, for the both myself and Luna to get to know.“
None of that corner-pinching to this smile. As genuine as smiles come.
“After all this time, it's a relief to be able to spend time with ponies without worrying they'll be gone next century. I can make friends again.”
Macintosh would have been fine with letting the happy silence linger a bit, but Murphy did not let it stand.
The bell at the door chimed, and he looked up. What he saw there caused him to quirk an eyebrow just a tad. It was Cherilee, with a mischievous gleam in her eye.
Wuh-oh.
One of the deviations from baseline that had cropped up this Loop was that he and Cherilee had been dating. While not as unpleasantly committing or emotionally compromising as some relationships he'd Awoken to, it had nevertheless necessitated him growing a bit of distance between the two of them. He'd been gradual with it, but could sense a certain amount of cling from the schoolmarm. So, while not inherently dooming, this visit was still a minefield he'd have to tread carefully.
"Evening Mac, I'll have a Bloom's Mild to start."
He retrieved the liquid and an appropriate vessel and began pouring, while the disguised princess and Cherilee nodded to each other. It was a nod of greeting, silence between strangers, not acknowledgement of a co-conspirator. Whatever mischief was afoot, he didn't think Celestia was involved.
"Just got back from Zecora's, and I think you're right. We should try something different."
With that, Cherilee swiveled on the barstool and looked him in the eye. He could see something in there, a weight to those words that hadn't been there before. Another horseshoe was yet to drop.
He felt the best response was raised eyebrow.
"I told the witch doctor you didn't love me true."
The eyebrow elevated further.
"I told the witch doctor you didn't love me nice."
Mac could tell this was going somewhere, but he wasn't sure where.
"And then, the witch doctor, she gave me some advice."
His heart skipped a beat as music started playing out of nowhere, and then started palpating in tune as he felt himself in the grips of the start of a Heartsong.
"I told the witch doctor I was in love with you."
His muscles started twitching in time, the natural response to this magical release, but his mind was afire with speculation. Romantic Heartsongs were potent, rare magic.
"I told the witch doctor you didn't love me too."
He'd never participated one, but he'd seen one set the entirety of Manehatten a-dancing like a whirlwind of charged gyrations.
"I know that you'll be mine when I say this to you."
He began channeling the determination to resist, the fire behind his eyes stilling himself down to a rock-solid core. Stand, not Smash, was the relevant word, but the principle remained the same.
It started with nonsense, but it was a directed nonsense, and he fought the rhythmic motions down again.
The mantra repeated, as though to cement its hold. However, something was different. Its underpinnings seemed more silly this time than salacious.
Then he recognized it, a children's tune from the Hub, and he gave her a deadpan look.
"Woke Up this mornin', didja?"
The only reply he got was a wide, toothy smile.
The infectious tune continued, and even after the chorus line had burst in and carried Cherilee off accompanied by boppy, poppy nonsense, he found himself incapable of forming an appropriate response. Until, that is, his drinking partner burst out laughing. She probably recognized the song. Then the absurdity of the situation hit him, and he joined in the merriment, their peals of mirth echoing in the rafters and filling the empty cellar.
Just two friends, sharing a moment.
81.5 (barryc100588)
Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Spike, and Twilight were walking through Twinkle Park, Spike and Twilight admiring the attractions. Twilight was also confused about the perpetual night in this area. They were all Awake, and had already sorted their Loop memories.
"Say, Sonic. If this area has perpetual night, how does it stay warm? Everything should have frozen by now." Twilight said, confused.
"It's not actually perpetual night. It's simply that the park is only open at night." Sonic explained with a smile.
Spike chose this moment to speak up. "Can we see the fun house mirror ride?" He asked, eager.
Knuckles frowned. "What's so special about a set of strange mirrors?" He asked, irritated. "We're supposed to be looking for Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald shards."
"I know, but I've never been to this amusement park before, and I want to check out everything." Spike said.
Sonic chuckled. He'd never been to Twinkle Park before now, either. It had always been Amy who ended up here, and he only got here with Tails and Knuckles because Twilight teleported them all past the front gate. "Sure, Spike. Let's go to the fun house." With that, he took off. Since he didn't actually know where the fun house was, he went in a random direction. The others hurried to keep up with him, Twilight scooping Spike onto her back. They eventually managed to reach the fun house and walked inside. Spike climbed off Twilight and approached one of the mirrors. What he saw shocked him.
"Um, Twilight? This mirror is showing something strange. When I look in, I see myself as my Gen 1 persona." Spike said as Twilight approached. After Twilight got beside Spike, her eyes widened. "Is that.. my mother?" She asked. "What's my mother doing on the other side of the mirror?"
Tails approached and looked up at the top of the mirror. "Interdimensional mirror." He frowned in thought. "This mirror must show how you look in a different dimension. Based on what Spike said, I bet your looking at your Generation 1 selves. If Sonic were to look in the mirror, I bet he'd see his Classic self, or how he looked in one of his cartoons or comics." Tails explained. He got closer, but instead of showing his younger self, the Tails in the mirror was a bit taller, with better gloves and a belt around his waist, that held a couple tools. "Wait a minute. That's not my younger self. Who is that?"
Sonic heard Tails and went to investigate. "What's wrong, buddy?"
Tails turned around. "Sonic! Could you look in this mirror and tell me what you see?" the fox asked.
Sonic nodded with a smile. "Sure, buddy." The others stepped aside so Sonic could see better. Knuckles joined him. The reflections they saw shocked them both. Sonic was also a bit taller. His shoes were different and he had athletic tape on his arms and legs. As for Knuckles, his chest was more bulky, with longer arms and he also had athletic tape on him. "What.. are we looking at?" Sonic asked. "I've been to the Hub before, but I've never seen anything like this version of me." Knuckles nodded, dumbfounded as he backed away from the mirror.
"I think we should leave. I don't think there are any Master Emerald shards or Chaos Emeralds here." the echidna said. The others nodded and headed for the exit, Twilight and Spike frowning.
"That was strange." Twilight muttered.
81.6 (Kris Overstreet)
There were consequences, Twilight supposed, to a world where Discord in ancient days overthrew the tyrannical mad rule of the Evil Alicorn Sisters.
This wasn't her first Loop in such an alternate reality. The one thing all such loops had in common was that the rules of magic she'd grown up with were changed- that is to say, there weren't any. Cause and effect weren't so much linked as held together by kite string and bubble gum. Beyond that one thing, however, no holds were barred. Awakening to Loop memories of being Discord's personal student (or, more often, a leader in the pony Resistance) meant absolutely nothing about the baseline could be taken for granted.
But some surprises were more so than others.
"Greetings," Maud Pie said with all the apparent enthusiasm of a tenured history professor one semester from retirement and two semesters from embalming.* "And welcome to Ditzyland, where you shall see wonders the likes of which you have never experienced in all your lives."
The placid petrophile pony led the group into the park, past such excitement-filled rides like Cross-Country Bus Trip to Seaddle, the Tree Climb, and the Stairs That Don't Go Anywhere Except Upstairs. There were carnival games, such as The Ball Goes Down the Hole Not Up It and Spray Water At the Clown Not Vice Versa. For educational purposes there was the Hall of Rather Boring But Important Laws, where ancient pony rulers completely failed to move and talk to a recorded soundtrack. There was a small petting zoo where the cats did not eat cheeseburgers and the owls did not make snarky commentary on the pony condition.
And at the center of the park, just in front of Ditzy's Cloud Castle of Dreams That Stay Dreams, was Maud's rock farm.
"Behold the limestone aggregate," Maud said. “Each of these dozens of pebbles within the stone is of an entirely different mineral, washed down from ancient mountains by floods, deposited on ancient sea beds, then glued together over uncounted centuries by dissolved limestone deposits into this new rock."
One pony waved a hoof. "What does it do when you rub one of the little pebbles?"
"Nothing," Maud replied. "It's a rock."
The crowd oohed in appreciation and stared even harder at the funny-looking rock which, despite all expectations to the contrary and millenia of good reasons to expect otherwise, just lay there.
As Twilight browsed the gift shop full of Hats For Only Your Head and Food-Flavored Muffins, she had to admit this was a first for her. Never before, in more Loops than she could count, had she ever visited an actual, honest-to-goodness bemusement park.
* Two semesters before embalming or after, it doesn't matter. With that kind of teacher you just can't tell.
81.1 continued (Indalecio)
As they walked along Tomo suddenly got a big grin on her face as she turned to face Osaka.
"What?" Asked Osaka in her usual, gentle voice.
"I finally figured it out! You're not crazy or sick!"
"There's a shocker." Yomi deadpanned.
"Now, now Curry. Please give me some credit. I am a detective after all. I detect things and place them together into ways that make sense." Tomo stood on her hind legs and mimed combining two invisible objects.
"Very good. And what have you detected?" Yomi continued.
"That our Ms. Deep Fried here has been hanging out with Lyra Heartstrings lately. This must be some new fad. 'Osaka' is probably a 'human' name." She made air-quotes with her hooves after saying, "Osaka" and "human".
"And Short Stuff here?"
"She probably picked it up from Deep Fried here. You know how impressionable fillies are at her age. I'm right..aren't I" She looked at Chiyo expectantly.
Somepony more observant than Tomo would've have noticed a bead of sweat form on Chiyo's face, and everypony else's, for that matter. What surprised all of them was what Chiyo said next.
"Right..you're completely right. Would all of you like human names? It is the latest fad."
Tomo seemed to ponder it over for a bit, but Yomi agreed.
"Sure, that sounds like fun. What would you call me?"
Chiyo smiled. "How about Yomi?"
"I think I like it. All right, my human name is Yomi."
"Hey! She asked me first! What's my human name?" whined Tomo.
"How about Tomo?"
"Nah. That sounds like a terrible name. How about Chieko or maybe Mandy?"
Chiyo gave Tomo a dirty look and in a serious tone said, "It's Tomo."
"What? Why's that got to be my name..?"
"And just like that, before she knew it, her name was Tomo." Intoned Osaka.
Yomi suddenly stopped.
"Oh hey. We're here." In front of them was a building with a large sign displaying a bowl of noodles and a hoof somehow holding chopsticks.
Osaka's leg shook. "My Deep sense is acting up. My left leg tingling tells me we'll soon eat a delicious meal."
Everypony looked at her. "Well we are, aren't we?"
"Come on. Let's just go in."
81.7 (Kris Overstreet)
Twilight raised one hoof to wipe the sleep out of her eyes. Why had Celestia recalled her to Canterlot so soon after the restoration of Princess Luna? And why had she insisted upon having Twilight join her for the raising of the sun?
Celestia opened the doors to the balcony and stepped outside, waiting for Twilight to join her. Both mares could see Luna standing on the balcony of her own tower, horn alight as she guided the moon to it rest at the close of a warm summer night. "I wish to thank you again for bringing my sister back to her senses," Celestia said. "But there are other dangers in the world, and it is possible I might not be able to return, should one of those dangers banish me as Nightmare Moon did. Therefore it is vital that I teach you how to raise the sun, so that Equestria need never fear eternal night again so long as you survive."
Twilight knew perfectly well how to raise the sun, but explaining that to a non-Awake Celestia would be more trouble than it was worth. "But I'm just a young unicorn!" she protested instead. "In the old days it took a hundred unicorns to raise and lower the sun!"
"You have a great power within you, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia said. "And there is a secret to the raising that the ancient unicorns did not possess, a secret that makes the spell much easier. Watch and listen carefully. The incantation is particularly important."
The last edge of the moon slid below the horizon, and Canterlot was lit only in starlight.
Celestia's horn glowed. She lowered her horn, spread her wings dramatically, and spoke her incantation:
"Rise, darn you."
The sun snapped over the horizon with a motion that, had it possessed sound, would have been a most comical boing-oing-oing.
Satisfied, Celestia folded her wings and turned to face a slack-jawed Twilight.
"What... what.... what??" Twilight tried, and failed, to keep her stare respectful. "That's IT? 'Rise, darn you'?"
"Why, Twilight," Celestia said, unable to keep a small smile off her face and the giggle from her voice, "haven't you heard the saying? It is always darkest before the darn!"
Twilight's eyes narrowed. "You've been Awake all this time, haven't you?"
"Yes, Twilight."
"Just so you could pull that lame joke."
"Well, mostly that," Celestia nodded. Her horn flared again, and a large pair of Hawaiian jams with a color clash so severe as to risk blindness floated out of her wardrobe. "But also there's some sunspots due in a week, and that means solar prominences just crying out to be surfed." Celestia walked off the balcony, adding, "Thanks in advance for covering for me while I'm hanging two!"
Twilight only stopped grinding her teeth when she remembered just how unpleasant her last visit to an Equestrian dentist had been...
81.8 (WyldeHorse)
Twilight Awoke, as usual, yet again reading about the return of Nightmare Moon - yet another baseline loop, from the look of things.
Idly, she flipped through the rest of the book to make sure there wouldn't be any... surprises. That happened sometimes, but they were usually hinted at in the book.
Suddenly, as she turned the last page, a voice seemed to fill the room. "I know my ABCs! Congratulations, you have read 1 book!"
She thumped her head against the table. It seemed like this would be one of the odder loops...
"I got a booboo! Congratulations, you have taken your first damage!"
"Aarrrgg..." And it would apparently be happening a LOT.
"Practice makes perfect! Congratulations, you have repeated an action 10 times!"
80.1 continued (Dalxein)
"Say Derpy, Just what does your cutie mark mean anyway?"
Ditzy glanced up from her delivery list, "Huh? You really want to know?"
"Sure, why not?"
The mailmare blinked, and when her eyes opened they were pure milky white. "Thereisnoderpy. Thereisonlyzuul."
Twilight's mouth hung open in shock and horror until her brain rebooted. "I... ah... what? What?"
Derpy blinked again, returning to normal. "Oh, Twilight! Did you need something?"
Her mouth worked uselessly for a moment before she shook her head. "Has my brother sent me an invitation to his wedding yet?"
The mailmare checked her list, and not finding it, dug around in her bag for several seconds. "Doesn't look like it, sorry."
"That's alright. It'll get here when it gets here." And with that, she got out of there. Fast.
81.9 (namar13766)
"Twilight?"
"Yes, Rarity?"
"Why was pinkie pie an actual magical, moving, talking pie this loop?"
"I just don't know what went on."
80.1 continued (Dalxein)
"Say Ditzy, Just what does your cutie mark mean anyway?"
Ditzy glanced up from her delivery list, "Huh? You really want to know?"
"Sure, why not?"
"You promise you won't tell?" The pegasus pleaded, glancing around. "No one asks, and no one knows... and it's a secret to everypony."
"I promise..." Twilight said with a touch of hesitance.
With a nod, the mailmare dug in her sack for a moment, producing... a hat. A detective's hat, to be precise. Along with a monocle, tweed overcoat and a little smoking pipe that she put in her mouth, which began to produce bubbles. "I deduce that you are surprised." She stated. "To be expected, of course. No one suspects that the clumsy mailmare is secretly Sherlock Derp, the world's greatest detective."
Twilight, her mouth agape and her head tilted at an odd angle, could only ask "Why...?"
"Did I inform you of my identity? Simple, my dear librarian. I made a bet with Sparkler, and promised to tell the first pony to ask." She blew into her pipe again, making more bubbles. "She owes me five days doing my scheduled chores, by the way. She bet it would be Pinkie to ask."
81.10 (FanOfMostEverything)
It was early in a rather sparse baseline Loop, and Twilight just happened to be on the edge of town, near the road that a certain, currently un-Awake showmare would be taking to get into Ponyville. The "gushing fanfilly" method of convincing Trixie to work with her audience rather than against it worked nine times out of ten, and it was fun to boot.
The Anchor heard the unmistakable sound of hooves and wheels approaching, imagined she was about to meet a combination of A. K. Yearling and Celestia (which had sadly only happened once,) and slipped out of her hiding place with a Pinkie-grade smile on her face, ready to give a gasp to match.
Twilight stopped in her tracks, gasp forgotten. Before her was a unicorn mare, yes. Her coat was about the right shade of blue. But there the similarities ended. This one had foregone Trixie's hat and cape. She had a blonde ponytail (and blonde pony tail) much like Applejack's. Her expression was the familiar look of baffled resignation that went with a first Loop in Equestria.
Oh, and the wagon was painted a shade of orange usually reserved for citrus fruit and safety cones.
"I take it you were expecting some… pony else."
The sentence shook Twilight out of her surprise. She cleared her throat and approached the stranger. "I was. We get a traveling showmare around this time of year, but you're a new face." She smiled. Pinkie wasn't Awake, so she'd have to roll out the welcome wagon. "You seem like a ship adrift. Would you like an Anchor?"
The other mare's lips curved a bit upward. "Thought I had one. Still, it'd be nice." A beat. "Um, could you help me unhitch myself? Feels like I Woke up harnessed."
Inside the wagon, which was rather better organized than normal, the two unicorns enjoyed a cup of tea. "I take it you're normally human?" asked Twilight.
"Mostly," answered the mare whose Loop memories named her "the Amazing Bombshell." "Got a few exotic bits of DNA in there. Long story."
"What can you tell me about your home Loop?"
"Science fiction, according to most. Usually I'm a bounty hunter. Go to exotic places, meet interesting people, fire lasers at them." Bombshell shrugged. "It's a living."
The pieces came together in Twilight's mind. "Well, that explains your cutie mark."
"My what?" Bombshell looked at her hips, seeing the all too familiar image of a planet mid-explosion. She facehoofed. "Oh, come on."
Twilight giggled a bit. "The mare you're replacing would approve, I'm sure." She extended a forehoof. "Welcome to Equestria, Miss Aran."
Samus smiled and returned the hoofbump. "Thanks. I've met a few locals in the Smash Brothers Loop, so I wasn't caught completely off-guard. Still, whatever I was expecting, this wasn't it." She waved a hoof at the various props and pyrotechnics. "I'm not usually one to bring undue attention to myself." She snorted. "Still, that's the Loops for you. I once replaced Naruto. I think it was the orange."
Twilight snickered. Loop humor. Hilarious in hindsight, or when it didn't happen to you. "Well, nopony said you had to follow the script exactly."
"You sound like you have something in mind."
"I think so."
A few hours later, the very orange wagon came to a stop in the town square. Onlookers approached, mumbling curiously. The stage unfolded, and Bombshell walked out from behind the curtain, eyes closed. She sat and magic that matched the wagon in hue enveloped her horn.
For a moment, nothing seemed to happen. Then a low hum came in on the edge of hearing. The hum rose in pitch as the light around Bombshell's horn grew in intensity. Another layer formed, then another. Her eyes opened, glowing from within. An orange aura enveloped the stage and the whole thing rose into the air.
The crowd murmured as the wagon did a circuit about the square. They gasped as it started rolling in the air. They cheered at the loop-de-loop. They boggled when Bombshell buzzed Town Hall. As the stage came to a landing where it had taken off, their stomping applause was like a small earthquake.
Bombshell smiled. A few pieces of Chozo technology translated well to unicorn magic, but none better than the Charge Beam. She rose and held up a forehoof for silence. It took the better part of a minute, but she got it. Her voice projected clearly and calmly, with no indication of her exertion. "Hello. You may have heard of 'the Amazing Bombshell,' but I'm not that great." She waited for the protests to die down. "I just know a few tricks, that's all. While I'm in town, any unicorns in the audience who want to expand their repertoire are welcome to pay me a visit. I'd especially like to help any older foals learn to develop their abilities. Everypony else, I'm sorry, but I just don't know enough about your magic to offer much beyond some meditation techniques."
Her smile widened. "But who knows? This place is so nice, I might just stay for longer than I planned. Might even learn something about earth ponies and pegasi."
Bombshell walked to the front of the stage and squatted. The front of the audience opened up, and she hopped down to their level. She looked around. "So, anypony interested?"
An eager crowd closing in, a wall to her back. If it weren't for the smiles and the sunshine, she could've been back on Dark Aether.
Trixie beamed at the message plastered across the visor of her ocean-blue Power Suit. Killing was never fun, even when it was killing unrepentant alien monsters who'd killed her in-Loop parents and were bent on using energy parasites as galaxy-conquering weapons. But this? This made it all worth it.
TIME BOMB SET
GET OUT FAST!
"Best Loop ever!"
81.11
“Okay, no known Anchor around,” Trixie said, chewing on a stick of carrot. “At least it looks that way.”
Chrysalis smiled, and tapped an elegant finger against her upper lip. “Don't be so sure... but be vewwy quiet...I'm hunting looper.”
Trixie giggled, and picked up the restaurant menu. “Well, we've had our starter. What do you want for a main course?”
“I was thinking... something with chicken, for me,” Chrysalis decided. “And you're having that risotto. My treat.”
The younger woman's eyes widened. “They do that here? I love that!”
“Which is why you're having it, Trix.” Chrysalis winked. “Call it my second course.”
Trixie nodded. “Fair enough. Now, which spoon should I use?”
“It's a fork. The one on the left. Of course. I've told you three times already.”
With a small nod, Trixie accepted the information. So, behind us to the left... and three tables away.
“So, what's for dessert?”
“I'll tell you when it's time,” Chrysalis said, smirking.
Jean-Luc Picard was enjoying himself, for once.
When he wasn't in Starfleet, and especially in worlds like this one where Starfleet didn't exist, he could enjoy himself. Relax.
And, of course, have a truly superlative meal.
Halfway through the fish course, however, voices disturbed him.
“Look, I'm telling you, there's three of them.”
“There's clearly five, Trix. Look, we'll ask this guy. Hey, excuse me, mister?”
Picard looked up. Two women – one of them tall with unusual greenish-black hair and a shimmering emerald dress, the other with a more sparkling purple outfit and dyed blue hair – were standing on the other side of his table, both looking a bit annoyed.
“Can I help you?” he asked, glancing back down at the fish. It was really rather good.
Besides, something was worrying him here...
“Well, see,” the blue-haired one began, “Chryssy and I were arguing over how many lights there are at the bar. There's clearly three of them, see?” She pointed.
Picard followed her pointing finger.
“Look, you're delusional, Trix,” the other one said. “There's five, right, mister?”
The blue-head – this 'Trix' – shook her head. “Look, she's going to be going on about this all evening if you don't help me out here. Just say there's three and we'll be fine.”
“Stop encouraging him to lie to me!” 'Chryssy' admonished. “There's five, right?”
“Three!”
“Five!”
“There are four lights!” Picard roared.
The women exchanged glances. Then smirked.
“...oh, bugger,” he added, sinking back into his chair.
“Nice to meet you, Jean-Luc Picard,” Chryssy said, extending an elegant hand. “My name is Chrysalis, and this is Trixie Lulamoon. We're from Equestria. And I suspect we just won Sleipnir Lokison an awful lot of money.”
“You utter, utter, jammy bastard,” Hel grumbled.
Sleipnir started dancing. With eight hooves, it was quite loud.
“Are telempaths cheating?” Fenris asked.
“Nope,” Loki replied, smirking. “And I know he's a bastard, but the alternative is that your stepfather is a horse, Hel.”
Fenris, Jormugandr and Hel winced.
Behind them, Sleipnir started doing a modified version of a Prisyadka.
“Okay, fine, you're right.” Picard sighed, looking back down at his cooling fish dinner. “Just don't tell the time travel department at Starfleet, or I'll never hear the start of it. Accidentally breaking the temporal prime directive...”
“No problem,” Trixie said easily. “Just... hey, use fused loops to relax, right? Happy anchors don't get sent to Eiken... as often, anyway...”
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I'd actually expected Pinkie to be the first to track down Picard. After all, if he loops into Equestria, then Pinkie would be able to recognise him as being somepony who wasn't there in any previous loop...
And Osaka knew the sweet taste of revenge.
And thus Picard, Trans-multiversal Hide-and-Seek champion, has been found.
4227143 Poor Crusaders... Bloom was so close so many times, too...
I am not sure I understand what's up with the lights...
4227921
Actually she wasn't.
Each of the main three crusaders had one attempt to convince others that Picard was familiar
Sweetie - OZ
Scoots - Biggles
Bloom - this thing here, whatever it is.
4228750
A rather infamous (and somewhat hammy) episode where Kardasians tortured Picard, asking him after every session how many lights there were.
4228750
This should explain it:
4227143 I'm still wondering where Waldo is, though... He's even better at this game than Picard.
4230165
I'm not sure that's the best video to show. It might be a good moment in the episode, but the context is earlier.
Since I don't feel like searching Youtube: there are four lights; this is clearly visible to Picard, the audience, and the Cardasian torturing him (you can see the backs of the lights in one of the shots in this video). Said Cardasian keeps insisting there are five lights, and asking Picard how many there are. When Picard responds "incorrectly" by saying there are only 4, he's punished with some sort of pain implant. The device he's smashing in the beginning of the video is the remote for that implant.
I was hoping you'd use "the Hall of Mirror. There's only one mirror in it, and it shows your reflection faithfully, without distortion, and without independent action on the part of said reflection." (this line also by Kris Overstreet).
4227028 I think my headcanon explanation for that is he either hides out (Never goes into town) or is never a pony which explains why she never found him.
I usually don't comment but I had to here.
The Derpy cutie mark stories...I...wow...Those were hilarious and so inventive.
And I won't deny I totally don't understand how they busted Picard in the last loop but I do love the mental image of Sleipnir dancing the Prisyadka.
Bravo to everyone, gotta say Chris is becoming one of my favourites.
Edit: This'll teach me not to read the comments first. Explanation noted n__n
Samus!
I'm wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have a spare copy of her power armor stored in her pocket. Now she just needs to get it refitted to her pony size.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/22/52618/large.jpg
4232413
Chris? I don't think ChrisOverstreet had any in the latest round of compilations.
4227113
Indeed. Because NOBODY remembers Osaka's real name, in or out of the show. Seriously it came up in the show, their teacher posts her marks under Osaka rather than her actual name: Ayumu Kasuga (which I had to actually look up because I couldn't remember it). And its all because of Tomo.
Seems like this time revenge is a dish best served... Deep Fried.
4234503
Yes! I freakin love Samus, I'm always replaying Fusion and Zero Mission, and who better to replace her, but the pyromaniacal Trixie, if she discovers the Power Bombs... Samus is adjusting pretty well to being a ponym but Amazing Bombshell, really? An exploding planet cutie mark is pretty apt though, she's always making things go boom.
There are four lights! Knew it! The moment the lights thing came up I knew that would happen! Picard is awesome!
Ah, Ditzyland. Personally, I like the place that sells Hayburgers That Won't Try To Eat You And Are In Fact Not Alive.
4480326 I personally like The Merry-Go-Round That Goes Round In Circles Where You Ride On The Not Real Horses Instead Of The Other Way Round.
And Azumanga Daioh? And Picard finally getting found?
Priceless.
4227028
4227921
I too was certain it would be the Crusaders, considering how many loops they've shared with him.
Oh, poor captain...
Freaking meaningless game achievement messages. I remember what they started adding them to a game I had been playing for years, then, all of a sudden, I'm being pelted with silly messages, praising me at every turn for beginner's stuff.
.5
Is...Is this the missing link to stabilizing Sonic's Source Loop that got lost in the Crash?
I loved that ending and wish that you could favorite individual chapters.
Picard is now unmasked...
4230733 My god, a Looping Waldo? how could such a master of being hidden even be found be an Admin? The only being harder to find would be Carmen San Diego.
They have a department for that?
Just wanted to call out this amusing bit of temporally mangled phrasing.
4227028
That's assuming that they Loop in as a pony. That doesn't always happen.
6644886 Carmen San Diego is rather easy to ID actually. She, Lupin III, and the Cooper Gang have an ongoing game of one-upsmanship that started when she stole the Cooper Gang's jobs(the concept even, they couldn't steal anything), and they were stuck as members of Interpol tracking her down.
ooo eee oo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang...
81.3 Is Spyro 3. I know because I have the reignited trilogy 100 percented.
oh, i recently read a story called "Metroid Equis" where Samus lands on Equestria!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/93733/metroid-equis
Is that Samus...
Yup.
Yup its the sonic series that shall not be named
And if u say its name then you will have lost the game
10250206
...I hate you so much right now. I was on a streak like, 2 years long!