Loops 29
29.1 (TiaC)
"So, Dash, now that we've dealt with everything important for the foreseeable future, what are you going to be doing next? I don't spend much time on Earth as a pony myself, so I thought I'd try travelling to the Amazon." asked Twilight.
"I'm gonna practice my weather handling. I'm good, but I could be better and this is just the loop to get there."
"Dash! 'Ten seconds flat!' now describes you dissipating a hurricane. Any storm that could challenge you would devastate the planet! Please tell me you don't plan to conjure up super-storms to practice. I don't want to have to clean up after you!"
"Chill Twi, I got this. It won't be a problem."
"I'll trust you Rainbow, but I will be very upset if you end up hurting someone."
"You did what!"
"Told you I could get some practice here. Beautiful, isn't it? Definitely one for the scrapbook."
The two ponies looked down at the headline. Great Red Spot Vanishes! Astronomers Baffled!
"How did you even… It's larger than Earth!"
"Was larger than Earth."
29.2
“Right, that looks about done,” Trixie said, double-checking the calculations. “Right there.”
“Cool,” Gilda said, bouncing a ball off the wall. “So this’ll work?”
“…probably.” Trixie shrugged. “Not as though Trixie can test it ahead of time, is it?”
“Fair point.” Flaring her wings, the griffin slapped the ball off to one side and pinged it with her tail. “So, when do we start?”
“Tomorrow morning.” Trixie reached into nowhere, and pulled out a mini-barrel of beer. “One each for luck?”
“Sure.” Gilda got the glasses out, and Trixie cracked the top to pour it.
“I don’t remember seeing these before…” Gilda mused.
“Oh, right.” Trixie shrugged. “Applejack introduces them sometimes. They’re based off beer cans, which humans often use – but we just don’t have the aluminium extraction capacity to manage them easily, and we ponies prefer wood anyway.”
“Huh. Cool.”
“Yes, it is, isn’t it?” Trixie grinned. “Trixie cooled them down before putting them in her pocket, and put them in stasis. Cold beer on tap!”
“…no, I meant the concept.”
Trixie shrugged.
Queen Chrysalis smiled, her triumph at hand. Celestia was defeated, the Elements lay before her in various states of abject defeat… it was good to be the queen.
“Well, so much for the mighty land of Equestria-” she paused, and frowned. “Who is that?”
Everypony and every… ling, looked.
There was a griffin standing against one wall, trying without much success to whistle nonchalantly.
“What are you doing here?”
“Playing.” With that one word answer, the Griffin picked up a dice and threw it. “All right, six! Perfect!”
Stepping back, she revealed a large crank on the wall, and turned it.
With a clunk, something came shooting out of the wall. It looked like…
A stop sign.
It hit a bucket on a stick which was hanging from one of the rafters. That in turn fell over, releasing a large metal ball, which went rolling down the steps outside in a long series of rumble-thuds.
Something went ping.
Part of the palace plumbing collapsed, and a bathtub erupted through the roof in a shower of plaster. Through it fell a marble, which hit the firing catch of a guard’s crossbow, and that sent the bolt bouncing off three walls to cut through a rope.
Every eye had been following this increasingly bizarre series of events, Chrysalis among them, and it took her a moment too long to realize that the rope was connected to a very large cage.
“Mousetrap!” Gilda shouted. “Brilliant!”
“…I feel terribly stupid…” Chrysalis muttered. Celestia made a noise of commiseration.
Trixie walked into the hall from a side door. “Okay, you win. Want another go?”
“Sure.” Gilda looked around. “Might need to find a different castle, though…”
“There’s a nice one in Trottingham.” With a blue flash, both of them vanished.
The bedraggled Princess Cadence looked at where the duo had been. “Wait, isn’t that the castle you gave Prince Blueblood?”
29.3
Twilight looked back and forth across the group.
“Right. How on Equestria are we going to sort this one out?”
“Rotating evilness again?” Rarity suggested. “I know I’d like to see what we’ve all come up with since…”
“True, true.” Twilight set up an easel, and took out cutie-mark markers. “Okay, there’s a total of…” she looked across the rest of the alicorns, counting under her breath. “I make it twelve, since Nyx and Trixie have joined us since the last time.”
“Well, thirteen actually…” Dash put in. “Spike’s on the way here, he turned up the other side of the world. He’ll take a few days to get here.”
“Huh.” Twilight shrugged. “Who knows. Anyway, who goes evil first?”
Nyx screwed up her face, her horn glowed, and with a bang she was eight feet tall and clad in spiky armour. “Me please!”
“…that’s very impressive,” Luna said, tilting her head. “How do you do the reverb?”
“This isn’t really armour,” Nyx said helpfully. “It’s my stereo from my subspace pocket. I just put an illusion on it. The volume knob’s the fourth spiky bit down on the left, and the bass is the one below it.”
“Anyone else want to go first?” Twilight checked. “No? Good, looks like you get the slot then. Just one question, what’s your villain name?”
“Oh, that’s right, isn’t it, Nightmare Moon’s kind of redundant…” The newly nominated villain trailed off. “What about Dark Side?”
“Could work,” Applejack allowed.
“Yes, it sounds good,” Rarity added.
The general murmur of agreement continued for a moment, then died away.
“Well, that’s settled, then.” Twilight nodded to her. “Okay, here goes.”
They all dove for cover.
“Muahahaha!” the newly designated Dark Side laughed. “I will… er… hang on, time out, I forgot to have an evil plan.”
Trixie pulled off a sheet which had been disguising her as a rock. “I’ll help. I need some ideas myself… do you have a position open for a minion?”
Nyx rubbed a hoof against her chin, pondering. “Do you have experience in evil?”
“I did once take over a town by using an evil amulet to gain dark powers?” Trixie volunteered helpfully.
“Hmmm…”
“And I’ve got an evil plan for you to do.”
“Welcome to Team Evil!” Nyx spread her wings welcomingly. “We have dental.”
“Really?” Trixie looked interested.
“It’s the fangs…” Nyx trotted forward. “What was this evil plan you were suggesting?”
“Well-” Trixie began.
There was a terrible screeching sound, and every alicorn clapped their hooves over their ears.
“Oh, oopsie! Sorry, I’m having a bit of feedback…” Nyx shrugged, her spiky armour making popping noises. “I guess I broke it.”
Trixie nodded sympathetically. “I once had a bad sound system. It went really wrong.”
“How wrong?” Nyx asked, shrugging the repurposed stereo off and wrinkling her nose at the smell of frying insulation.
“It played me really squeaky. I had to play it off as a comedy thing…”
“Shouldn’t you have an evil plan by now?” Dash heckled.
Nyx stiffened. “I think I just worked out my evil plan.”
“What’s that, then, my lady?” Trixie said, turning to stand next to her.
“Ooh, I like that…” Nyx shook her head. “Anyway, the plan is, smother Equestria in stage effects. The stage mist will last forever!”
Lightning crashed.
“You really are very good at that, by the way,” she added. “I can see this is going to work out well.”
“Ye~es,” Trixie drew out the word, “but it does mean I have to come up with something for myself to do. Cover the sky in fireworks?”
29.4 (Masterweaver)
It wasn't words.
Ponies wouldn't normally be able to understand, but... it wasn't words, exactly. Or images. Those cropped up sometimes, yes, when necessary. At its fundament, though, the Hive was raw self meeting raw self, communication on a basic level. All the changelings connected to it, and many that had been enveloped by it at their deaths, shifted and tumbled and understood each other in a vast ocean that somehow, itself, had gained an ancient, indecipherable intelligence.
Chrysalis sighed as the hive mind swirled around her. There weren't words, just... worry. Concern. They wanted to know if she was okay. They wanted to know why she had, very abruptly, cut herself off almost completely and charged right toward the heart of ponykind. They wanted to know what had happened, whether they could help.
She'd ignored it for two weeks. The concern had gotten stronger.
Finally, she had politely excused herself back to the swarm's abode--Twilight had mentioned she spent a loop as the Changeling Queen so she understood the pressures of the Hive--and simply sat in her chambers. Then she let her memories flow.
There was... some confusion. Some. But it faded quickly.
There weren't words, but if there were the hive would be saying that she should have told them sooner so that they could comfort her.
The drones approached gently, nuzzling at her as she once more sobbed...
"Hey there Chrysalis, Fluttershy wanted to know if... you..."
Twilight stared.
In the centre of the room was Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings..... and Shining Armor.
And Shining Armor.
Aaaaaand Shining Armor.
And, oh look, Shining Armor.
And, yet again, Shining Armor
And, of course, Shining Armor.
.....and Shining Armor.
Shining Armor was there as well.
Twilight recognized her brother amongst the crowd.
The captain of the guard looked back at her.
A white unicorn with a blue mane had frozen at her entrance.
Cadance's beau coughed, awkwardly.
Chrysalis held up a hoof. "I swear, this wasn't my idea."
Twilight nodded, slowly.
"...Look, the hive mind was worried and I let them know what was going on and one thing led to another--"
"I see."
"It's not like we did anything serious!" the changeling queen reassured her. "We just cuddled!"
"I understand."
Chrysalis would have been sweating bullets if changelings had sweat glands. "Come on, after what I've been through I think I deserve a coping mechanism that doesn't involve alcohol!"
The unicorn shrugged. "You may have a point."
"I'm sorry, okay? I just... I was weak, and I'm sorry, and--"
A purple hoof cut her off. Twilight was giving her a sympathetic look. "Hey. I know how it feels to lose somepony you love to the loops. I've been awake for, oh, who knows how long now. I get it, you messed up, and... well, I'm a little bit annoyed that this happened and I'm going to keep it for blackmail but really, it's not nearly as bad as it could have been."
Chrysalis drooped. "I don't know how you can possibly forgive me for this."
"You need to have a chat with Nyx the next time you're both Awake."
"Huh?"
The unicorn giggled. "Nope, not spoiling the surprise. Seriously though... Trust me. You're in the clear for now, okay? We can keep this our little secret for now."
Chrysalis took a moment to compose herself. "I... thank you, Twilight Sparkle. I hope to prove your trust is not misplaced."
"I'm sure that you'll succeed. By the way, you ever do this again and I will let Pinkie have her way with you."
The changeling queen gulped. "Understood." The sheer storm of emotions coming from that particular pony had nearly convinced her the world was ending.
29.5
“Okay, that looks good…” Fluttershy whispered, looking the latest attempt over closely. “Can you swivel them?”
Chrysalis crossed her eyes, and the small cat ears which were replacing her normal ones obediently moved first left, then right.
“Good.” Fluttershy nodded. “Looks like you got the muscles down properly. Now, er… I had an idea for a prank…”
The Changeling Queen looked at Fluttershy. “Let’s hear it, then.”
“Well, er…”
“Be on watch,” Luna reminded her sister. “We have heard that there is an evil abroad in the land.”
“I am, Luna,” Celestia assured her. “I am ready for anything. Nothing will interfere with this wedding.”
Luna swung her telescope groundwards. “Who might that be?”
Celestia stepped up to the railing. “I… don’t know.”
“Ohayo!” came a bright, cheerful voice.
Cadence looked over. “Who are you?”
“Oh, gomennasai.” The pony she was addressing looked terribly downcast, and her ears flattened against her head.
Wait, they did what? Cadence looked closer.
The pegasus in question had ears that were distinctly… feline.
“Oh!” As Cadence looked, the ears perked up again. “Oh, ah… can I have your autograph, Cadence-chan?”
The princess of love blanked. “Pardon?”
That didn’t seem to dissuade the strange pegasus, who thrust a notebook and quill into her hooves. “Please?”
Numbly, Cadence scribbled down her signature and offered it back to the black-coated pegasus, whose face lit up.
“Ariagato!” The… cat-pony shot off, practically bouncing along the corridor.
Cadence turned to Twilight, who was stuffing a hoof into her mouth to avoid laughing. “What just happened, Twilight?”
Slowly and carefully, Twilight took a deep breath. When she was sure of being able to speak without giggling, she began.
“I think that was probably a Neighponese fangirl,” Twilight explained. “You can tell by the cat ears.”
From down the corridor came the sound of a fairly successful glomp, and some shouting from Rainbow Dash.
“I’ll go sort that out,” Twilight excused herself.
She supposed that, on balance, it was probably a good sign if Chrysalis was able to do this kind of thing.
29.6 (Anowack)
Twilight Sparkle had a list.
Actually, she had lots of lists, but somewhere between The Official Summer Sun Celebration Overseer's Checklist (version three, from a loop where Celestia had complicated the usual scenario with a truly inordinate fondness for carrots, heavy metal music, thunderstorms, and clashing color combinations) and The Official List of Things Looping Pinkie Pie Is Not Allowed To Do Volume XXIV, was a list of experiments to run, experiences to seek out, and pranks to play when the loops allowed. Twilight being Twilight, this list was neatly sorted and cross-indexed by the prerequisite fellow Loopers and loop conditions.
So, when Twilight found herself in a baseline loop with a start point prior to the Sonic Rainboom with Rainbow Dash Awake, she was quickly able to remind herself of what she wanted to try.
Twilight Sparkle wanted to earn a cutie mark. Specifically, she wanted a different cutie mark. She'd attempted this before, but time and time again had only received her own starbust mark. (She had looped into alternate selves with different marks a few times, but that didn't count.)This time, though, Twilight had a special sublist of steps to prevent many of the pitfalls she had encountered in past experiments.
Step One, asking Rainbow Dash to not do a sonic rainboom, was necessary because Twilight had found that, if her many-colored friend performed one close to the appropriate time, no matter what precautions Twilight took, it would trigger a magical surge and her normal cutie mark. This required only a promise to arrange a sextuple sonic rainboom the next time everypony was Awake in a baseline loop early enough in the timeline.
Step Two was to prevent her parents from applying her for entry to the School For Gifted Unicorns. This loop was early enough, thankfully, that all it would take would be to “lose interest” in the obsessive magical studies her pre-loop self had just begun, and find something non-magical to occupy herself with over the summer. Probably pranking Cadance and Shining Armor, if they weren't Looping. Seeing them with adult eyes, it was always hilarious how desperate they were to hide their budding relationship from both Twilight and her parents.
Step Three, enjoy a life as an ordinary unicorn filly (or at least as “ordinary” as one being foalsat by an alicorn princess could be), avoid magic as much as possible, start school in the fall, and see what happened.
It was a simple plan. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
Upper East Canterlot Elementary was not much like the School For Gifted Unicorns or even that most terrible of tortures, Magic Kindergarten. For one, there were earth ponies and pegasi attending, though they were a minority of the herd of students. For another, Twilight Sparkle was neither the famous personal student of the Princess, nor a bullied outcast who couldn't control her weak magic.
It was actually rather refreshing to just be a background face in the crowd, and for the first few months of class Twilight just drifted while pondering what kind of cutie mark to seek out, carefully doing just well enough in classes to be counted as a good student, but not enough to make a name for herself as exceptional. She made many acquaintances but no friends, but also no enemies. There was still a sizable enough mass of students in her year without cutie marks that her own blank flank normally attracted no comments.
Today was one of the exceptions, but not due to the (sadly for the most part inevitable) bullying that late blank flanks endured. During P.E., Twilight had – quite accidentally – managed to score the winning goal in a game of hoofball, from over halfway across the field. Her own team, half the opposing side, and even the coach, had immediately clustered around her, and the groans of disappointment as they'd found her lavender fur unmarked had been audible.
While it would have technically met her goals, Twilight Sparkle could not be disappointed that she'd failed to reveal a special destiny of being good at kicking balls into nets. She was certain there were ponies that would find that a happy and fulfilling hobby, but it wasn't really her. Which was probably why she was still a blank flank, actually. Twilight had been so focused on avoiding anything that even hinted of magic that she'd deliberately avoided doing pretty much anything she loved. She wasn't going to get a cutie mark that way.
As she headed home (P.E being the final class of the day for her class section), Twilight was lost in thought. Maybe she should start showing her enjoyment of reading and aim for a librarian cutie mark, she wondered as she turned a corner, or would it be better to try new things and find something she didn't know she enjoyed yet? Then she stopped dead. Somepony was following her! Why would anypony do that?
“Come out, whoever you are!” Twilight yelled, glancing up at the trees that lined the narrow cross-street she usually took on her way home.
Not completely surprisingly, it was one of her classmates who came down to street level in clumsy, hesitant flight.
“Um... hi?” the orange pegasus colt said awkwardly as he landed in front of Twilight, his wings closing on his sides.
Twilight glared at him for just a moment. “Flash Sentry, right?” she asked. That had actually been a surprise, that the stallion who frequently became the captain of her guard when she became a Princess had grown up in the same neighborhood as her.
“Yes?” he said nervously, shifting away a little, like he was about to bolt. Whatever he might become in the future, right now he was still a little blank flank colt that she'd caught stalking her.
Twilight decided to just raise an eyebrow.
Flash Sentry shifted again before answering the unspoken question. “You ran off so fast after P.E., Twilight. I just... I wanted to let you know I think you're really -” He stopped suddenly, turned bright red, and started stammering. “I... I... mean I... I wanted to say I thought that kick was really awesome, that's all!”
Twilight was only able to hold her stern expression for a moment before she started to giggle. Okay, the stalking was a bit creepy, maybe, but it was almost certainly innocent, and more importantly adorable. Maybe a little harmless schoolyard romance was just the thing to make her push her limits and find something unmagical to...
That was when somepony rammed into her from behind. Twilight let out a surprised yelp as she stumbled forward into Flash Sentry, sending both of them tumbling over.
“Excuse me,” the filly behind them said, choking back a sob and pushing past the two young ponies, her eyes fixed on the ground.
“Hey, wait!” Flash Sentry called out as he stood, disentangling himself from Twilight.
Twilight rose as well, studying the pink-maned white unicorn, tall for her age, who had stopped dead a yard or so away. It took only a moment to place her as a student in the same year but another class. “Your name is Fleur, right?” she asked. Another pony she remembered from other loops, though only vaguely. She became friends with Rarity sometimes, didn't she?
Fleur just nodded, not even turning to face Twilight and Flash.
“Are you okay?” the pegasus asked worriedly. “It sounded like you were cry-”
“Shut up!” Fleur interrupted. “What do you care? Leave me alone and go back to flirting with the hoofball star!”
Flash Sentry took a step back, his wings flapping wildly. “It... it isn't like that! Twilight, I swear -”
Twilight ignored him for the moment, walking past him and up to Fleur. “Blue Belle, right?” she asked. Schoolyard politics were not terribly hard for her to sort out, though they actually were more mature than the adult version sometimes.
For the first time, Fleur turned her head back to look at Twilight. “Yes, all right?” she snapped, while she talked revealing silver braces on her teeth. “She called me an ugly, clumsy blank flank who can't trot five steps without tripping over her own four hooves, and I want to go off and cry about it like the crybaby I am, so just go away.”
Flash Sentry looked angry, and Twilight decided to say something to derail the train of thought the was almost certainly going through his mind before he said or did something stupid. “We're all blank flanks,” Twilight said quietly, slowly stepping closer to the other filly, “and...” she trailed off, then with an exaggerated glance back at Flash pressed against Fleur and whispered in her ear, “if my brother's magazines are any sign, in a few years the colts will find long legs very attractive.”
Fleur blushed, the scarlet flush easily visible through pale fur. “Shut up,” she said, though far less harshly, though she still stepped away. “That's gross.”
Flash Sentry looked confused. “What did you say, Twilight?”
Twilight giggled, and after a moment Fleur joined her. Twilight offered a hoof. “I'm Twilight Sparkle,” she introduced herself.
Fleur gingerly touched hooves, giving a weak shake. “Fleur Dis Lee,” she said.
Not to be left out, the lone colt offered, “Flash Sentry.”
Twilight glanced at her two companions, a thought occurring. Well, for the parallel to be exact she'd have to turn Flash into a filly and Fleur into an earth pony, but those were minor details. A wicked grin appeared on her face. “I have an idea...”
Fleur looked nervous. “What?”
“We're all blank flanks, aren't we?” Twilight asked, and started to explain. As she did, Fleur's eyes widened and Flash started to grin. “...and we could form our own secret society!” Twilight finished excitedly.
“It needs a name, though,” Fleur observed, her distress apparently forgotten in the wake of Twilight's proposal.
“Triple Cutie Threat!” Flash Sentry proposed.
The two fillies shared a look and a giggle, then Twilight smiled. Trademarks didn't persist between loops, so she might as well go all the way. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
When the three young ponies knocked on the door of Twilight's home a couple hours later, Twilight's mom gave them one look, then sent them around back to rinse off with the garden hose before coming inside.
“That kind of tree isn't even supposed to have this much sap,” Twilight said sourly as she pretended to struggle with her magic to loosen the stuck valve and turn the water on.
“And we're banned from every bowling alley in Canterlot!” Fleur wailed. “It's terrible.”
“Let me get it,” Flash said, reaching for the valve. Twilight let him have it. “It was a lot of fun, though,” he said, grunting as the stubborn metal refused to budge.
“Yeah,” Fleur said softly. “It was. I... I really liked it. Thank you.”
Twilight smiled. “What are friends for?” she offered.
“Are we friends?” Fleur asked.
Flash glanced at her. “Of course we are,” he said, sounding confused that it was even a question. Twilight just grinned and nodded.
Fleur was still a moment, then suddenly engulfed the other two in a hug.
“Hey!” Flash protested, struggling a little to get free.
Twilight just returned the hug, smiling. Even if the experiment failed – again – this loop would be worth it just for the chance to make new friends.
There was a familiar tingling on her side, and Fleur gasped suddenly.
“Wow, Twilight,” Flash said. “You're really good at this whole earning cutie marks thing!”
Twilight started to wrestle herself free. “What is it?” she demanded, and when she finally could she twisted her head around to see for herself.
A familiar starbust stared back at her, and Twilight froze. How? She hadn't been doing anything even remotely magical... oh. “Ponyfeathers,” she swore, drawing a scandalized gasp from Fleur and a puzzled look from Flash.
Ignoring the two for a moment, Twilight planted her hoof in her face. It was something she, of all ponies, should never have forgotten to take into account.
“What's wrong with it, Twilight?” Flash asked.
Twilight groaned before answering, not that he was likely to understand. “Friendship is magic.”
29.7
“Right.” Applejack looked across the kitchen counter. “Ready?”
“Sure!” Pinkie chirped.
They both looked down at the ingredients strewn all over the kitchen. Apples, flour, milk, apples, sugar, apples, a little chocolate, apples, apples, yeast, apples, eggs, butter, cinnamon and apples.
“We’re gonna get this whole buffalo business sorted out once and for all,” Applejack said grimly. “Now… go!”
Pinkie grabbed a whisk and poured the flour, some of the sugar, the eggs and some butter into the bowl. “Working on the pastry, cap’n!”
“Gotcha,” Applejack replied, picking up a knife and getting to work on the apples, the apples and the apples. “Pass me that cinnamon, would’ya?”
“Sure!” Pinkie spun her head as she worked, which flipped the cinnamon into the air. It bounced off the ceiling, the lid came off, and just enough cinnamon to flavour the apples spilled onto them before it hit the workbench and the lid landed right back on top of it again.
Applejack blinked. “Okay, how’d y’all do that?” she mumbled around the knife handle.
Pinkie shrugged, still enthusiastically mixing.
“Eh, whatever.” After a suspicious look, Applejack got back to the apples.
Slowly and reverently, Pinkie withdrew the baking tray from the oven.
Resting on it were six Apple-Pie Apple Pies.
With a series of thuds, two of the Crusaders and Winona crashed into the side of the house.
“Guess you like the smell, do ya?” Applejack said, leaning out the window. “Hey, where’s Scootaloo?”
“Dunno,” Sweetie replied, standing still and sniffing at the delicious aromas coming out of the window.
Then there was the sound of a crash on the roof.
“I’m okay!” Scootaloo shouted. “But my hang glider isn’t… wow, that smells good.”
“They ain’t for you,” Applejack said sternly. “Maybe the next batch, but not this one. These are gonna head off a war.”
“So.” The buffalo chief stared across a table at his opposite number. “You wish to bargain with us?”
“We do,” Silver Star answered. “We would prefer peace to war.”
“You think you are the only ones?” Thunderhooves shrugged. “But no matter. Posturing will not bring peace.”
Applejack sidled up to the table. “Ah think it might calm tempers if y’all had some food while you’re negotiatin’.”
“Sounds good,” Silver Star said. “What is it?”
“Apple Pie.” Applejack trotted over to a cart and took two covered dishes from it. Putting them in front of the dignitaries, she swept the covers off in one motion.
Then she noticed Pinkie had got out a banjo, and tackled her before she ruined everything.
“This… smells good,” Thunderhooves said slowly, looking down at the Apple Pie.
Then, as though on an invisible signal, both he and Silver Star dove into their Pies.
Thirty seconds later, they were done.
“That was very good,” the sheriff said, licking his lips. “Er… are there any more?”
Applejack and Pinkie exchanged glances. Then looked around at the large, curious herds of buffalo and ponies.
“We may have made a teensy amount too few…” Pinkie suggested. “I suggest we run.”
Applejack nodded solemnly. Then both of them broke into a gallop, headed for the train line.
“Well, on the bright side, at least they’re not fighting any more!” Pinkie said chirpily.
“Yay,” Applejack deadpanned. “Next time, we make as many of ‘em as we can fit in a train!”
29.8
“I can’t believe this,” Rarity said, shaking her head.
“Really?” Spike replied, blinking. “This is becoming a big deal?”
“Of course it is!” Rarity frowned. “This is a very important… issue…”
She trailed off.
“On balance, the fact that you keep eating the spoons isn’t all that major,” she allowed. “But I don’t like your blithe dismissal of my concerns.”
“So… I’m right, but you don’t like how I was right?” Spike checked.
“Not quite. You should give my opinions the weight they deserve.”
“Again, what I was saying, but casting me in a more negative light. That’s got me annoyed now.” Spike tapped a claw on the floor. “Okay, look. We’re just going to keep finding excuses to snarl at one another if we don’t work this off. I suggest the Frozen North. Two hours, full battle rattle, first one unconscious has to wash up.”
Rarity looked over at her sink, despite herself. “There’s nothing to wash up.”
“Which is why I’m going to let Pinkie Pie make a making up cake in here,” Spike replied with an evil grin.
“You wouldn’t!” Rarity gasped.
Spike waved a paw. “On reflection… I think I would, actually.”
“Spike, if you dare-”
“Well, you’d better beat me, then, hadn’t you?” he challenged. “I mean, if you do, then the net result is cake.”
Rarity scowled.
“Why am I involved in this?” Twilight asked, seemingly to herself.
“In case we are both knocked out and need to be transported back to Ponyville,” Spike replied, now about fifty feet long.
“And so that you can bear witness that I’ve won,” Rarity added. She had her wings out, and was wearing something made out of woven diamond and magic, which still bore the faint proof-scarring from when she’d tested it.
By jumping between Chrysalis and Celestia’s beam war at the Canterlot Wedding.
“Okay.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Seriously, can’t you two have normal couples’ spats?”
“No,” the other two replied in unison.
“Right. Okay, the rules are, nothing fatal. Though given what you two are like, I didn’t need to tell you anyway… go!”
Twilight slammed up a bunker shield, and watched the fireworks.
“Oooh…” the population of Manehattan breathed, watching some particularly energetic northern lights.
“Aaaahhh…”
Princess Luna opened the door to her bedroom, ready for a well-earned day’s rest.
Then she paused.
“Sister? Didst thou install a dragon in mine room when I was not looking?”
“Twilight…” Celestia said, her voice slightly strained, “Why is Spike asleep in my sister’s bedroom? For that matter, why is he fifty feet long and covered in scorch marks?”
Behind them, Luna poked at the slumbering dragon with the butt of a guard’s spear. Occasionally, she muttered something under her breath.
“It’s a long story,” Twilight said weakly. “Luna’s bedroom was the best place I could find for them to sleep it off.”
“Them?”
“Aha!” Luna said, with an air of triumph in her voice. “I have found another interloper!” Then her tone changed. “I was aware of Cadence, but her cutie mark is not much like the one you vouchsafed to me. That is a diamond repeated three times, not the Crystal Heart…”
Twilight shook her head. “Okay, I’ll start from the beginning. Can you send for cocoa? This could take a while.”
Barely-within-rating omake (Stainless Steel Fox):
Omake
Rarity stirred, and snuggled against Spike's neck. "Ohhh Spike! You're so strong and tough. I love the way your scales shine like diamonds when you swoop..."
The big dragon rumbled happily, shrinking down a couple of age categories until he was Big Mac sized. "I have the most beautiful and most amazing filly in the world as a girlfriend. Have I told you how incredibly sexy you are when you're angry?
"Oh Spike!" "Oh Rarity!" "Oh brother!"
The pair suddenly realised they weren't alone and stopped what looked to be the start of an epic makeout session.
"Twilight?" Rarity looked up, and noticed the purple unicorn standing there, and behind her, Princess Luna and Celestia. "Eep!"
She hauled up the bedsheets around herself, noticing for the first time that they had Luna's cutie-mark. "This isn't what it looks like!"
"Actually it sort of is..." admitted Spike.
29.9 (FanOfMostEverything)
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Pinkness
Applejack took a deep breath and ran a hand through his short-cut hair. There were at least two things wrong with that sentence in his opinion, but the universe seemed to care even less than usual. "Alright, let's review. Twilight, yer… what exactly?"
The rather short girl adjusted her glasses. "A humanoid interface for the Integrated Data Thought Entity."
Applejack's local memories offered a literary reference she didn't recognize. That seemed to be a habit this Loop. "Right, an' that is?"
"Basically, imagine the end result of a Loop if Apple Bloom were the Anchor."
After pondering this for a moment, Applejack asked, "So mah baby sister's gonna invent magic?"
Twilight frowned. "Well, it's not magic so much as manipulating the metadata of existence through—"
"Right, magic." Applejack turned to the other boy in the group. "Rarity, yer—"
"Elusive in this context, dear."
It just wasn't fair, Applejack thought. Even when they were both stallions, Rarity was still prettier. "Right. Elusive, yer still sort of a unicorn?"
This got a nod. "Yes, but my magic only works in certain locations. 'Closed spaces,' as they're called."
"An' we ain't in one."
Elusive's mild grin shifted to utmost seriousness. "Believe me, Applejack, if we were in a closed space, you'd know."
"Er, right. Good to know." Applejack shifted focus to Fluttershy. He wasn't afraid. It just seemed prudent. If there was an element of haste, it was simply to get this review over with all the faster. "Now, Shy, yer a time traveller?"
Fluttershy nodded. "From classified information years in the… oh." She blushed. "Sorry. This is a very powerful mental block. I'd have to Ascend to bypass it."
The idea was tempting, but Applejack shook his head. "Let's save that 'til we really need it." He moved to the last person in the room. "Rainbow, yer a mob boss's daughter?"
"Apparently." Dash grinned, revealing rather prominent canines. "Whoever I am doesn't normally hang out with you guys, but that's not gonna stop me."
"Wouldn't have it any other way, sugarcube." Applejack frowned. "And meanwhile, here Ah am, not so much as a scrap of magic t' mah name."
Twilight gave a puzzled frown. "What are you talking about? You can still earthbend, access your dimensional pocket, Ascend—"
"Far as mah memories go, Ah mean."
"Oh." The interface had the decency to blush. "Sorry."
"And then there's Pinkie Pie," noted Elusive.
The door to the club room slammed open. Speak of the Nightmare, thought Applejack, and she will appear.
Hand on her hips and smile on her face, Paizumiya Pinkuhi stood proudly in the doorway. "Hello, SOS-Dan! Are you ready to find the impossible?"
The five humans stared at their friend, knowing that the question was entirely rhetorical. No matter what they said, she'd browbeat them into helping her saving the world by overloading it with fun. Even if she couldn't do it directly, subconscious reality distortion would make it so.
Twilight broadcast a message to the other Awakened members of the brigade through something distinct from telepathy in ways only she cared about. I can honestly say I have never been more terrified in my entire existence. The others could only nod.
Pinkuhi took this as assent. "Great! Hope you're all ready, 'cause I've got a big, big itinerary planned. Kyon, you're paying."
Applejack sighed. Ascension was looking more and more appealing.
29.10 (misterq)
Rarity eyed the pink-coated pony that Rainbow Dash had awoken as in this loop, took a deep breath and asked, "Why?"
"Why what?" Rainbow Dash, still a pegasus but now in the body of Firefly, asked innocently as she hovered in the air.
Rarity, now Sparkler, just stared accusingly.
Firefly sighed and broke, "Fine, I made a mistake. Ancient proto-Equestrian alternate history was never my strong suit in school. What was I supposed to think? Besides, even without going all ascendant alicorn on his flank, we're all more than a match for that Tirak by ourselves. Look at me! I was awesome before, but now I'm so fast I can rip holes into other dimensions. You have even more affinity for jewels and stuff than you used to."
"It's galled gemomancy; and yes, as Sparkler, I find that I can control them to a much higher degree," Sparkler said as she casually ripped out a sizable emerald shard out of the earth and sent it streaking into and through a nearby oak tree. "That still doesn't excuse what you did."
Firefly swallowed heavily, "Come on! Look at what Pinkie Pie has become. She's up there flapping around as Surprise and shouting something about legendary super saiyans. Applejack may look the same, but she seems even stronger than she was before."
Applejack tried to walk over to Firefly, but instead stumbled into a nearby sizable tree - knocking it down.
"Why the hay am I so clumsy in this form?"
Pinkie Pie in the form of Surprise was suddenly there, giggling and pointing towards the orange pony, "Because you are a silly pony, Applejack. A very silly pony."
Applejack snorted in annoyance, "That's not even a real answer."
Firefly/Dash continued, "Posey is an earth pony, so she's even more in tune with all those forest critters than Fluttershy was, no matter how impossible that seems. And Twilight. Twilight's special talent is now being a bucking reality warper only a few levels below Discord. Once she pulls herself together, she'll have infinite wishes."
Sparkler looked over at the unicorn, who was lying on her side in a miserable ball, "What is wrong with her?"
Twilight wailed in answer, "I look just like my mother!"
"Technically if this world does evolve into the Equestria we know, you are probably your own great, great, great, great, etcetera grandmother!" Surprise stated happily as she flew off.
"Er, right," Firefly said, "So extra dimensional saviour or not, it doesn't matter. Besides, what would a pony like Firefly think? She punches a hole into another dimension looking for a saviour. The world is in peril. Time is critical. Who was she going to choose? A strange monkey-ape thing that she's never seen before, or this strong stallion?"
"He is just a common human-world horse. He's not even sentient!" Sparkler pointed to the brown equine. Said 'hero' was currently grazing happily. "How did you even carry him here?"
"It wasn't easy. Whatever. Look, I'm going to go punch a hole into an unpleasant dimension and toss that stupid looking centaurian abomination into it. I mean really? Darkness that lasts forever? Been there, done that, kicked it's flank. Come join the party if you want."
"Oh, oh! Me! I want to join the party!" Surprise shouted as she flew after Firefly, followed by a smiling Posey/Fluttershy as she rode on the back of an armoured bear who was at the head of an entire waddling contingent of honey badger cavalry.
Applejack gathered up Twilight and together they stumbled towards what would probably be the very brief and very final confrontation with Tirak.
Sparkler watched them leave, briefly contemplating how her pale blue coat made her even more of a winter. As she started off after her friends, she gave one last look at the oblivious human world stallion, "Ugh. You better not be the reason for how the Saddle Arabians developed."
TJ, the brown horse idly flicked his ear at the odd pony before continuing to ignore everything that wasn't grass or a threat.
Meanwhile on her family farm in the human dimension, Megan stood around in a daze. Earlier, a wondrous rainbow-looking rift opened up and a magical talking pegasus pony flew in, said she needed someone to help save her world from a monster; and before Megan could volunteer in what would surely be as grand and exciting an adventure as any teenage girl could dream of, the pegasus grabbed TJ, her horse, and flew off.
"Sis, what are you doing here? You've been out here for hours. Where's TJ?" Her sister, Molly, asked as she came near.
Megan slowly turned her head towards her sister, "I don't want to talk about it. Not ever."
29.11
The pegasus looked around. “Okay, where the hell am I now? Donald, was this your doing?”
A unicorn trotted unsteadily over. “Wasn’t me,” he said, with a slight rasp to his voice. “I thought it was your clothes.”
“Nope.” The pegasus shrugged. “How are you doing with walking?”
“It ain’t easy.” Donald tripped and nearly faceplanted. “At least you’ve got wings, Sora. And experience at being four legged!”
“Hey, that’s a point.” Sora spread them, and flailed at the air until he was aloft. “I’ll go look for Goofy.”
“Sure, whatever…” Donald sat back, trying to work out how his magic had changed. And, for that matter, how to hold his staff.
“Huh, new Loopers,” Twilight said, as Dash finished describing them. “Well, I don’t recognize them from the description. One of each type?”
“Yep, same as usual.” Dash nodded. “Strange thing is, only the pegasus is finding, well, walking easy. And even he moves more like Gilda.”
“Really?” Twilight nodded. “Huh. Interesting. Well, I’d better go and meet them. Go let Princess Luna know, I think she’s Awake.”
“Aye aye, Twi!” Dash saluted, and vanished in a crack of displaced air.
“Oh, right…” Sora said, looking up. “So this is where you came from.”
“It is indeed,” Luna replied. “You would be Sora, yes?”
“That’s right.” The pegasus crossed his eyes, and a keyblade flashed into being between his teeth. “There we go, I’ve been trying to get that to work all morning…” he added in a mumble.
“You know him?” Twilight asked, interested.
“I Replaced one of the people from his Loop once,” Luna explained. “That was the same Loop wherein little Nyx did my job.”
“Oh, yes, the sideways moon incident,” Twilight said, nodding. “Yes, you did tell me about that place. Keys, wasn’t it?”
“Pretty much.” Sora concentrated, and the keyblade flashed between a dozen different forms. “I’ve got a lot of choice by now. Anyway, what’s your world like?”
“Mostly peaceful, actually…” Twilight said, shrugging. “We can handle most of the villains who show up just fine. Though, actually…” she trailed off, a grin spreading across her face.
“What?” Luna asked, seeing it.
“I was wondering how Sombra would react to being hit by a Keyblade.” Twilight shrugged. “Should be interesting.”
29.12 (Stainless Steel Fox)
Vice principal Luna had called Twilight in and showed her the pictures of her wrecking the Fall Formal. However, this time she wasn't going to stand there and let the Vice principal steamroller right over her.
"Vice Principal Luna. I can state absolutely that these things never happened, and that these photos are as fake as something very fake. I can account for my movements the whole day, and most of the time I was even in the company of Pinkie Pie, the planner in charge of the Fall Formal. If I had wrecked it, she'd be the last po-person to give me an alibi. I assume the motivation you felt applied was that I tried to delay it to buy more time to win my bid to be Princess of the Fall Formal from Sunset Shimmer? If so then you are out of date. My friends and I have already done an end run around her and her friends Snips and Snails. If you took the votes right now, it would be Sunset Shimmer who would lose. You can check all this for yourself."
The Vice-principal looked at her sternly, but the teenager just stood there calmly, not defensive, just without a doubt.
"So how do you account for these photos?"
Twilight took on a thoughtful attitude. "Well, there are three parts to it, method, means and motivation. Method and means are intertwined. The background is real, and so are the images of me, but the whole is not, so somehow, someone got photos of me doing something energetic, like the game of football I had with Rainbow Dash, and added my image over the real culprit. I can think of several ways, either using the school computer and image editing software, or just cutting out a physical photo and running the altered image through a colour photocopier. So I'd ask my friends if they saw anyone taking photos of my game with Dash.
"As to motivation... Who would benefit most from destroying my credibility as a Fall Formal Princess entrant, and delaying the event to give themselves time to regain control of the vote? Someone who's already used sneaky tactics and disinformation to character assassinate me? If it was the same person who brought you those photos, I'd definitely find them suspect. Out of interest, who is my accuser?"
"Sunset Shinmmer." Principal Luna's experession hardened.
"Maybe you should ask her how she got those photos, and why the person taking them didn't try to stop me instead of just collecting evidence."
There was a knock on the door. Flash Sentry came in and gave her the doctored photos.
"Vice Principal Luna. I found these in a trash can in the library. Thought you should see them. Someone obviously combined these photos to make it look like Twilight was the one who trashed the gym."
"I see. Well that is a point for your theory. Of course it also seems convenient that that evidence came to light..."
Twilight smiled. "A double bluff? Setting this up myself to make Sunset Shimmer look like the culprit? I did spend some time in the library, but my alibi still stands, and as I said, my friends did an amazing job of getting people on my side. I don't need complicated ploys or to take her out of the running. Simple honesty and bringing people together is a far better strategy than trying to cheat and con my way in. Like I said, take the vote right now, you'll see the truth. I suspect if you check the movements of Snips and Snails, Sunset Shimmer doesn't seem to be the sort to do her own dirty work, you will also see what's going on."
Vice-principal Luna nodded. "Very well. I am afraid enough damage has been done to the gym that we will have to postpone the dance until tomorrow night. If you will excuse me, I need to let my sister know about this latest development. And to ask some questions of Sunset Shimmer."
Twilight shook her head. "I will talk to Pinkie and see if we can get things together sooner than that. After all, I ran for Princess on a platform of helping out and coming together as a school, maybe I can get some people to follow up on that and help out."
As they left she turned to Flash Sentry. "Thank you! You have no idea how important this is to me"
He chuckled. "What was I gonna do? Not prove your innocence? Wouldn't be much of a Canterlot Wondercolt, would I? So, uh, I was wondering. If you aren't already going with somebody, wanna go to the Fall Formal with me tomorrow night?"
Twilight had no intention of hurting his feelings, even accidentally this time round. "It will be tonight, and yes, I would love to be your date."
She turned to face him, hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. "If you have some free time, anybody you can round up to help fix the decorations would be good."
She had to giggle at the complete experssion of brain-lock this resulted in. "I'll see you later..."
As she turned around the end of the hall, she heard a "YESS!" and allowed herself another grin.
29.13
“G4,” Shining Armor said, playing a card on the table.
“Snap,” Discord replied, playing his own. “And that brings my score to a multiple of seven.”
“One hundred and eighteen isn’t a multiple of seven…” Shining said uncertainly.
Discord pointed to one of the other cards in play. “Bad mathematics. Lets me adjust the result or input of a calculation up or down by one.”
Cadence flipped back and forth through the rulebook. “So that means…”
Discord shifted a counter. “I put my own joker in check, and switch allegiances from Prance to the letter Q.”
Celestia slammed a card down on the table. “Contingency card! I get the yellow marble.”
“Then you have a beard,” Luna pointed out.
“Drat, I do. That makes me vulnerable to the Queensburg Defence.” Celestia examined the table. “Baker Street.”
“East Ham,” Luna replied.
“Mornington Crescent!” Cadence collected four cards from the others around the table, then played two of them. “I change history so that the horse collar was never invented, and that triggers a cascade which leads to me getting four extra Lands and a brand of cheese.”
“Drat,” Celestia said absently. “So much for my gambit. Luna, your turn.”
“I’m cashing in my lands for an army,” Luna said, shuffling them into the deck. “That lets me take two of Discord’s lands and summon the Moon. Four turns until impact!”
Cadence helpfully moved the moon counter to the number four.
“Thank you. And now I’m going to purchase a manor at Trottingham, which puts me on a double word score.”
After looking at the result of that for a moment, Cadence drew a card. “Yes, it’s my special! Crystal Heart, my holdings are immune to damage for the foreseeable future and so I trade across all my other defences for political power and waffles. Then I loot the room, which gives me treasure. Your turn, Shiny.”
Shining Armor stared at his hand, then at the board. “I have no idea what is going on.”
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Three times the size, in fact. I wonder how long it took her...
Someone needs to write this. That someone may have to be me.
Speaking of, I'm ecstatic to see my silly little Fused Loop made the cut. Thank you!
Definitely looking forward to more. Especially since the SpaceBattles forums are apparently chewing on my soul now. (Though given how many times the poor thing's been consumed, I doubt anything has much interest in it anymore...)
I understand that card game. Luna should have called 5th gods rites.
3241705
I am actually kinda working on the Queen Twilight loop. i haven't gotten far, but...
You know, 29.9 looks a teensy bit familiar... }:-{D
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/103308/the-melancholy-of-pinkie-pie
3241734
Oh dear god, it's Calvinball as a card game.
I really like the one where the girls ended up back in G1! But poor Megan, she'll never get to visit Equestria now.
3241827
hey! I remember that!
Is that last bit what Yu-Gi-Oh sounds like to people who don't play it? Wow, we are nutjobs....
3241880
I threw everything I could think of EXCEPT MtG and Yu-Gi-Oh in, actually.
3241907
Actually, in spite of your efforts, Discord still managed to play a Magic card.
3241734
No, that's only permitted if she's the Eastern Wind. She's clearly playing Colonel Mustard here.
3241859 Now Iron Will will never be born. After all, Human DNA had to come from SOMEWHERE.
At the school one I had thought it was going to be a crossover loop with Fillmore. Then it was not and I was sad for a moment. Then I realized I could suggest a Fillmore Crossover and be struck once more with melancholy when no one knows what show Fillmore is. I will then feel sad for the people who don't know the awesome show that was Fillmore. I weep for you all.
3242839
Kind of, because it's the opposite.
As far as Celestia is concerned, a magically gifted filly (Nyx) has somehow ascended (via that crystal pendant) and summoned her sister back from the moon - and purified her, too.
That earns a pass any day.
Anyone up for a game of Discord? I get to be the number L!
3242373
why could she play at all then? unless she was born on a day divisible by 582 and 1/3 the 15th hidden seal wouldn't apply and she would have to play marriage rites 55! unless you use the advanced rules, but you can tell they're not.
3243563
She got bonus points from having the longest connecting road in the last game, and the advantage carries over, so she can play the 'I Cheat' card once. I know, a lot of players don't allow it because it's a cheap trick, but the official errata clearly says it's legitimate.
3243657
ah, thanks that clears things up substantially.
Why does that last part remind me of Calvinball so much?
3252480
...why would they do that?
A loop as Queen Chrysalis you say? Well, it has sort of been done already. Ask Eakin :P
29.6 KILLED me... That was AWESOME. XD
Also, 29.13 is ALSO AMAZING. Nuff said.
I think Shiny was also speaking about 90% of this story.
Please find a way to make Chaos a real game? Somehow? That would be the most epic thing in forever.
2.13 sounds like some bizarre crossbreed of Scrabble, Monopoly, Risk and Magic or Vampire CCG. I have no idea how it works or how you mix those games, and that's without the whole reshuffle and redraw thing that happens randomly if this is built off the older version the CMC played
What is 29.7 a reference to?
A game that makes no sense whatsoever, how very Discord, when you think about it, his first move is Fridge Brilliance when you consider the other reality warping troll played by John de Lancie.
I floop the pig.
brb, bullet in my skull
EDIT: And then, again:
Do you want me to have an aneurysm?!
That card game.
-Spirit
4319093 If i could like a comment more than once i would double like this comment!
3865518 ALL OF MY WANT!!!
Best prank ever.
And that stint in a fused version of the Haruhi-verse was pretty epic.
I don't know either, but I wish this game was real.
29.8- Why does everyone confuse Alicorn Rarity with Cadence!?
29.13- I am SO patenting that game... as soon as I figure out how to play.
3252794 Because 'lullay' is a word... or, at least, it used to be a word. It's Middle English.
(According to Oxford English Dictionary [according to some dude on Yahoo Answers], it's a nonsense word meant to soothe children, and is the root from whence we get 'lull' and 'lullaby'.)
Huh. A combination of Mornington Crescent, Dragon Poker, and Fluxx. Possibly with traces of Luna and Celestia's ineffably cryptic game from a fanfic whose name I've unfortunately forgotten, where every pony even remotely connected to the Royal Court spends most of their free time trying to decipher the moves, the meanings, and whether the entire thing is just some centuries-long prank on everyone who isn't an alicorn...
I loved Firefly taking the horse as the chosen one...
"Chaos" should have a separate card deck that changes the rules every turn. The cards in hand also change the rules. The "board" is a mashup of Monopoly, Chess, and Life. Everybody gets 5 pieces of varying importance and abilities. Which also changes.
A small whiteboard is required to keep track of the current rules.
I think I'm starting to see a trend here... is Equestrian dental just that good? As soon as it shows up in an agreement, everyone is content, no matter the job?
5089247 what would that even look like?
Multiple stories in this have gone past the Everyone rating (in terms of words or violence or etcetera) and this really really needs to be changed to Teen. Technically that has been a necessity since I believe Chapter 3.
29.13 Sounds like Magic The Gathering
5545160
No, it really doesn't. I mean, maybe if you've never played...?
3241827 Damn, you beat me to it
That name gave me an idea. A wonderful, evil idea.
Pinkie Pie + Suzumiya Haruhi + The Rei (from the fanfic Nobody Dies)
MUNCHKIN!!!! Fucking love that game.
6318378
There's a bit of Munchkin in there, but the game is a mix of about ten different things at minimum.
I'll order all 24 volumes, please.
6627416 Which 24? We're on Volume 128 as of....
the nth tuesday of purple. Oh my me that's why, she completed 3 volumes in that loop alone.