• Published 19th Apr 2013
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MLP Time Loops - Saphroneth



Twilight Sparkle has been here before. In fact, she's been here so often she's thoroughly bored. Time Loop stories for Equestria.

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MLP Loops 144


144.1 (Bardic Knowledge)

Looping Captain's Log, Stardate 42731.2

There had been no indication of a Variant or Fused Loop of any kind until we stumbled upon this strange planet. From what can be seen, the moon is seemingly locked into a position of permanent eclipse, which has turned the otherwise M-class planet into a frozen wasteland. This would have been little more than a curiosity if it hadn't been for the strange signal emanating from the planet.


"What do you make of it, Mr. Data?" Picard asked.

"The signal is artificial in origin, but would not be noticed by the sensors as anything other than background radiation if not for our upgrades to the system," Data spoke freely, as the only other people on the bridge were also Awake. "If I were to hazard a guess, I believe the source is a form of magic."

"Magic," mused Riker. "Are we sure there were no pings, Captain?"

"Positive, number one. I'm still not sure this is anything more than a variant, however. Can you pinpoint the location of the signal?"

"Working on it now, Captain," said Geordi, at the science station. "Looks like it's definitely magic, Captain. The signal just got stronger, like it wants to be found."

"Which makes the question less about the kind of magic and more about whether its malevolent or not," commented Riker.

"True. Are you getting any sort of emotion from the planet, counselor?"

"Just one. There's something down there, but all I can get from it is intense sorrow."

Geordi turned around, "I think I've got it, Captain."

"Can you bring the location up on screen?" asked Picard, standing up and unconsciously tugging down his uniform shirt. A few button presses later, and the screen showed a top-down view of a ruined castle in the middle of a dead forest, all covered in snow. However, there was a light emanating from a cave in a ravine near the castle.

"I'm guessing that light is the location of either our figure of sorrow or the magic. Possibly both." Riker walked up to the screen next to Picard. "Captain, are you..."

"Getting the strangest sense of deja vu? Yes. This place feels familiar, but I can't quite place how. Maybe a closer look is in order. Mr. Worf," Captain Picard turned to his security officer, "who all among the crew is Awake this Loop, aside from those on the bridge?"

"Only Doctor Crusher and Wesley, Captain," answered Worf. "They have both asked to be left to their own projects when it won't interfere with baseline occurrences."

"Very well, we'll leave them to it. Will, call up the secondary command crew. I think all of us will be going down to the planet. I want a closer look at those ruins."


After beaming down to the surface wearing environmental belts (they regulated the air and temperature of the wearer, but the force shield on them was too weak to stop even the weakest phaser blast, making them useless for more than recon on near-M-class planets), the away team of Loopers pulled out their tricorders. Except for Deanna Troi, who would have collapsed to the ground if not for Riker quickly grabbing her.

"Deanna?" he asked.

"The sorrow is much stronger here. It would have to be to be felt on the Enterprise, but the intensity..." After a few moments Deanna stood back up. "I think I've got a hold of it now. It's coming from inside the cave."

"Speaking of," said Data. "I believe I have discovered why the castle looked familiar. We have simply never viewed it from above before. This is the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters."

"Equestria?" asked a stunned Worf. "But why would it be in this condition?"

Picard thought things over for a second. "I believe our answer lies within the cave. Shall we find a way down?"

After a few moments of searching, Data had managed to spot an ancient staircase leading down into the ravine from the other side of a broken bridge. Judging the ravine to be just shallow enough that he could land on the bottom with minimal damage, Data then volunteered to jump in and climb the stairs in an attempt to repair the old hanging bridge. Worf countered with a question of how he would managed to grab the broken part and fix it from the other side.

After a few moments of debate, it was decided that they would use Data jumping down in the official report, but lean on their out-of-Loop skills to repair the bridge more quickly. With that done, they carefully descended the snow-slicked stairway and walked into the cave.

Before them they say a shining silver tree, the light pulsing softly as though it was losing power. And laying on the ground before them was a dark figure, covered in frost and barely, but noticeably, breathing.

Deanna was on it in a moment, tricorder out and taking readings. "She's obviously still alive, Captain, but her vital statistics are so low that she's basically in a coma."

"But you still feel intense despair from her?"

"Yes. It's as if she's shut herself in her own mind."

"Captain," interjected Riker. "If this is Equestria, then that's probably one of the princesses. Considering the state of the moon, I'd hazard Luna."

"Quite possibly, number one," Picard paused, seeing that Riker had more to say.

"Captain, according to what we know of Equestria, a thousand years before the usual Awakening point, Princess Luna went mad and tried to cause eternal night. I think that's what happened here."

"And in some variants, the alicorns are for all intents and purposes immortal, which would explain how Princess Luna is still here presumably a thousand years later. But what could have happened to Celestia?"

"Maybe we should ask her?" said Worf, pointing to the fallen alicorn.

Picard nodded. "We'll take up to the ship and let Doctor Crusher have a look at her. Hopefully she's got something close to baseline that can help heal her."


Looping Captain's Log, supplemental. Though Beverly was slightly miffed to be taken away from her personal project, the state in which we had found Princess Luna got her attention quite rapidly, and she has been working on a solution for almost half a day. She feels confident that she can stimulate healing to counteract the nearly thousand years of degradation the princess's body underwent, but she is unsure what can be done to actually bring her out of the despair-fuelled coma.

The Looping Staff (plus Wesley) sat around the Observation Lounge table to discuss their discovery.

"I'm at my limit in this, Captain," said Beverly. "No matter what chemicals and medicines I try to use that can be explained away in baseline, even the experimental ones, I just can't get her to wake up."

"I've even tried some empathic projections to counteract it with feelings of warmth and belonging," added Deanna, "but that doesn't seem to be having any effect either."

"I might have an idea, Captain," said Wesley. "Since I heard that we'd found an Equestria, I pulled out my copy of the Hub-world's backup of their Loop. Maybe if we find the Elements of Harmony, they could have a healing effect on her."

"They seem to work in that way after a fashion, but aside from trying to find them, how would we use them? Who would use them?"

"We've all had Loops where we've had one form of magic or another, so we could give them a try ourselves. Data would make a good fit for the Element of Honesty, and either mom or Counselor Troi could be Kindness."

Beverly shared a quick glance with Deanna. "Between the two of us, I think Deanna would fit a bit better in the 'Kindness' department."

"I think I see where you're going," said Geordi. "Worf is definitely Loyalty." The Klingon shifted in his seat at the notion. "And I think Commander Riker would work pretty well as Generosity."

"Really?" asked Riker. "How so?"

"You do tend to give of yourself when someone wants a piece of you," teased Deanna. "I've never known you to refuse a relationship, no matter how serious the other party wants it to be."

"But that still leaves us Laughter and Magic," said Beverly.

"The Element of Laughter isn't necessarily about laughing yourself or being funny," said Wesley. "In the season three finale, when Twilight becomes a princess, Celestia refers to it as 'optimism.' The others get that, too, using integrity, compassion, charity, devotion, and leadership instead."

Geordi smiled. "Well, Wes, you're definitely an optimistic kid. Maybe you should take Laughter."

"Me?" asked Wesley incredulously. Considering how he'd been in baseline, and how recently he'd Awakened, he hadn't quite expected something like this.

"And I suppose that leaves leadership to me," said Captain Picard. "Do we have any idea of the side effects using the Elements could have on the ship?"

"As far as we've seen in Equestria, the Elements can only be used as a force for good and balance," said Deanna. "Likely everyone will just be a bit more cheerful and healthy for a few days."

"Then I guess we'll have to give it a shot," Picard sighed. This would be a right headache to explain to Starfleet. Might have to fake some ancient writing to explain their knowledge away. "Let's all get a good night's rest, then we'll return to the planet to retrieve the Elements."

Everyone nodded their assent and left for their respective quarters.


The next day, the chosen six met in the transporter room, to be beamed down to the same coordinates as before, as, according to the Loop back-up, the Elements were most likely to be found in the castle's ruins as stone orbs.

And they were, surrounded the beheaded skeleton of an alicorn.

"Looks like we know what happened to Princess Celestia now," sighed Captain Picard. "Let's just hope they'll still work."

"If the backup was any indication, sir, they'll respond to those who exhibit the virtues of the Elements," said Riker, who had caught up on the back up as well that night. "But you might have to give one of your famous speeches to start the ball rolling." Picard looked at the smirk on Riker's face and resisted rolling his eyes.

After collecting the Elements, Captain Picard wrote on the wall of the castle in a language not wholly alien to the Federation, but close enough that it would look like they had instead spent the time translating instead of transcribing. They amounted to a description of the six Elements, what they do, and how to activate them in a way that sounded ancient. Once the words looked faded enough to fool most archaeologists, they returned to the Enterprise and to Sick Bay, where Princess Luna lay.

Once they lay the stone orbs containing the Elements on the floor, Picard pulled out the "translation" of the wall's text. They couldn't put everyone out of Sick Bay for no reason, so they had to put on a show for the Department of Temporal Investigations.

"According to the ruins," he began, "we need to figure out a way to utilize these stones as the Elements of Harmony. With them we might be able to heal our guest from her coma. As each one requires a bearer, I have taken the liberty of assigning each to one of you. Though we've only been crew for a short time, it feels as though I've known all of you for years." The Looping staff shared a smile. "And so, hopefully, I've got these right."

"Commander Riker, though you can sometimes put on a facade of indulgence, in truth you are a very charitable man, giving freely of yourself and your reputation for anyone who has need of you. As such, I name you the Element of Generosity." One of the orbs glowed purple and floated in front of Riker. Heartened, the Captain continued.

"Lieutenant Commander Data. As an android, you have often been considered a curiosity in Starfleet. But your integrity and forthrightness has never wavered, making you a pillar we can all lean on in times of need. You, I believe, are our Element of Honesty." Another orb glowed orange and went to Data.

"Lieutenant Worf. You have been torn most of your life between your duty to your blood as a Klingon and your duty to Starfleet and its tenets, but your devotion to both and to this crew has carried all of us to greater heights than any one man could go on his own. You are the Element of Loyalty." The next one glowed red, which Worf appreciated.

Counselor Troi. There have been times that your position on this ship has been called into question, by yourself and by others, but throughout the hardship this ship has endured the compassion you have shown has kept us sane and safe. You are our Element of Kindness." A yellow-glowing orb floated before her.

Picard took a deep breath as he turned to the next-to-last member. "Wesley. When I first met you, all I could think of was that you were a child with no business on my ship." Wesley gave a chagrined smile. "Since that day, you have grown into a fine young man, whose optimism and heart have saved us all many times. So I name you Element of Laughter." The last orb glowed cyan and joined the others.

Then Commander Riker spoke up. "And then there's the sixth Element. The beings of the planet called it 'Magic,' but it spoke of being born when all the others came together. And, truth be told, we wouldn't all be here today if not for you, Captain. You are our Element of Magic." A sixth orb materialized from the air and shone before the Captain, before the lights of all the Elements grew bright enough to drown out Sick Bay.

When the light faded, each of the new Element Bearers had their communicators changed, becoming a jewel the colour the orbs had glowed for each one of them set in what seemed to be gold. Picard's own was slightly more elaborate than the others, however, with a starburst pattern in place of the usual ovoid.

On the bed, Princess Luna, now smaller and without any sort of mane, slowly and shakily sat up. Doctor Crusher and the nurses quickly checked her over to make sure she wasn't going to hurt herself in moving, then allowed her motion when it became obvious she was healed.

"Senan lf R?" she asked. Picard grimaced slightly. Apparently, though understandably, Ancient Equestrian didn't match any form of human speech.

"You'll be alright," said Deanna, softly. "You're on our ship and we've just healed you."

"Enlzng fn? Selq lan bhv- Qen Nznfnuqp!" She gasped on seeing the newly-coloured communicators. "Ehs grg bhv lyqrwlqn qen Nznfnuqp? Rp fb prpqna enan? Grg R ganlf rq lzz?"

"I'm afraid not. You are the only survivor of your planet."

Captain Picard's brow furrowed. "Counselor, can you understand her?"

"Yes, captain. I'm not sure how, but it's like I'm sensing the meaning behind the words, even if I don't know the words themselves. And she can understand me, as well."

"Huzb... pvawrwha? R- Pen- R-"

Deanna instantly moved to hug her. "Shh, it's alright. You're going to be okay. Rest now, please. I'm sure you must be tired from your ordeal."

"Uhqerux srzz cn htlb lxlru." Princess Luna looked to the floor.

"Now that's not true at all. As long as you're alive, there's hope."

"Cvq Celestia rp gnlg! Lug R grg rq! Ehs ylu qenan cn ehon?!"

"Because you're still here..."

As Deanna and Luna spoke, Picard leaned over to the others and whispered, "Perhaps it might be best if we leave them to it. We'll see them when they're ready."


Looping Captain's Log, supplemental.

In the end, Princess Luna managed to move on, and even restored the orbit of the Equestrian moon, though it would be a long time before life would begin again on the world, even with the help of our terraformers. When Starfleet heard of what happened with the Elements of Harmony, they not-too-politely asked us to give them up to them, with the intent of studying them. In response, we informed Starfleet Command that the Elements were no longer with us, having been returned to the Tree of Harmony at Luna's request.

It was her hope that the Tree, with help from the renewed Elements, would be able to restore Equestria faster than simply ending the eternal night. That has yet to be seen, but the lack of castle-in-a-chest suggests to me that the Tree is devoting its full power to the task.

After learning the English language from Counselor Troi, Luna decided that she was going to do her best to learn everything she could about this new world she found herself in. Maybe join Starfleet Academy someday. If she does, it will hopefully be around the same time as Wesley's return to the Academy, as he does every few Loops, and he'll be able to guide her there as a familiar face.


144.2 (Gamma Cavy)

Twilight awoke reading the book of legends. The first thing she noticed, was that it mentioned two brothers who ruled instead of two sisters. Buck, she thought, it's one of those Loops. Then she paused, as a passage about the elder brother caught her eye. ...and as time passed the elder grew resentful of the fact that he was constantly mistaken for the younger of the two, and teased about his smaller stature. In rage he took on the name Mountain Height, and created immense monuments out of buildings, causing earthquakes as they rose, each monument proclaiming that he, Prince Mountain Height, was not short! The younger prince, Steel Soul, attempted to reason with him, but to no avail. And it was when Mountain Height attempted to embed the Elements of Harmony into his statue that they reacted, banishing him to the sun for a thousand years.

Twilight frowned. Mountain Height's rampage was familiar somehow...

She sent out a ping, and felt two responses. Not the Element ping, but the basic Looper ping. So the princes – or some other presumably non-local loopers, but odds were it was the princes - were awake. But who were they...


"...AND NOW WITH MY HEIGHT SURPASSING MY LITTLE BROTHER, NO ONE WILL EVER CALL ME SHORT AGAIN!" Mountain Height proclaimed from atop a statue of himself, golden mane flaming, before vanishing in a crackle of blue light, of the sort that only prince Steel Soul used to travel.


The rainbow impacted slammed into Mountain Height, and a gold colored alicorn, who looked like a half grown foal, except for the mane aura of sunlight and blue sparks, was left behind. Blue light flared, and Steel Soul appeared. The Unawake Element Bearers hit the floor.

"Oh get up," the prince said, "and thank you all so much, you managed to knock some sense into my brother, Prince Full Metal." he turned to the other alicorn. "It's been ages since I've seen you Brother. I've missed you!"

"Yeah, me too Al. I mean Steel. Are there any new alchemists yet?" Twilight finally realized who the guest loopers were.


During the obligatory Pinkie Party later, Twilight heard the princes catching up, then an argument broke out between Full Metal and the youngest prince, Fire Starter. It seemed Fire Starter had implied Full Metal was short. Twilight smiled. Some things apparently never changed, from what Silver had said about these three.


144.3 (Masterweaver)

Twilight took a deep breath, steeling herself. "Girls... we need to talk about Starlight."

Rainbow Dash growled. "Oh, yeah. Her. Can we move freeing that village up to an early-loop event?"

"It wouldn't be that hard," Rarity mused, "just a teleport and a flash flood or some... other water based phenomena. Although that only exposes the problem and doesn't deal with the brainwashing aspect necessarily--"

Twilight shook her head. "I'm sorry girls but... for now at least... in some loops, we have to let her go."

There was a pause.

"Twilight, I'm sure you have a logical explanation for what you just said," Pinkie stated calmly. "I'm sure you are regretting having said that, and that you are going to explain why you have said that. And I'm sure we'll all reluctantly agree to the reason why you have said that. So please don't take it personally when I say this. ARE YOU COMPLETELY LOCO IN THE COCO?!"

"No. See... I've run a few lonely loops completely baseline, and... well... in the baseline, I am pretty sure she gets away." The unicorn sighed. "And... in the baseline Discord betrays us, but then we get the final key. We can short circuit that nowadays, because we have the full picture, but I have no idea if Starlight is quote unquote supposed to do something that important in upcoming expansions and, since I don't know when exactly those expansions are going to be..."

"...ya have ta learn by experience," Applejack finished for her. She sighed. "Yeah, Ah can understand that. Don't like it, but Ah get it."

"Personally I don't mind letting the baseline run its course for a bit," Fluttershy quipped. "I mean, I've seen all the vengeance plans that some ponies who shall remain unnamed have been brewing in their spare time, but... we're supposed to be a sanctuary loop. If we let our anger and hate get the better of us, then... well..."

Rainbow snorted. "Yeah, yeah, I get it..."

"Sorry, but.... who are you all talking about?"

The six ponies looked at one dragon. Twilight suddenly facehooved. "Right! You haven't been awake for the new expansion. See, there's this map that comes with the crystal tree palace...."


144.4 (Masterweaver)

"Well, it seems you inspire all sorts of free thinking, don't you?" Starlight Glimmer twirled the Staff of Sameness in her magical grip.

Rarity gave a forced chuckle. "Well, w-we certainly didn't intend to cause any disruptions to your charming little--"

"Good." The unicorn pointed the forked poles at the gathered ponies. "Let's just make sure of that, shall we?" Her horn brightened, and magic shot out of the staff at the six ponies.

It was then that things went radically off script. First of all, the magic suddenly changed color and split up among the six mares. Any thought as to the abrupt color change was silenced when all of them suddenly began glowing, forcing the equal ponies to shield their eyes. When Starlight Glimmer finally managed to look back, her jaw dropped in disbelief.

"Oh mah gosh!" Applejack fluttered her wings and stared at her horn with wide eyes. "We are all alicorns now!"

Rarity gave her a brief glance--Starlight thought for a moment she could see annoyance on her face, but it was gone too quickly for her to be sure. "How?! How could this--what happened?!"

"The staff of sameness! It musta put Twilight's alicorninity into all of us!" Pinkie Pie bounced in place with a wide grin. "It's the only thing that makes sense!"

"But--" Starlight managed.

"Then how come these other ponies aren't alicorns?" Rainbow Dash gestured to the shocked Double Diamond.

"The elements of Harmony!" Fluttershy shouted. "They were connected to us, and so--"

"So the staff of sameness allowed you to rise to my level through harmonious symmetry!" Twilight finished.

"But--" Starlight tried again.

"Wait!" Applejack swung her hoof at Twilight, pointing at her flank. "You still have yer cutie mark! It is not an equals sign!"

"Huh, you're right!" Twilight glanced at it. "I guess it must be impossible for an alicorn to exist without their cutie mark!"

"But--!" Starlight insisted.

"You know, I think there's a lesson in that," the princess continued obliviously. "But right now I'm more interested in studying the staff itself!" She grabbed the stick from Starlight's lax magical grip. "I think I'll send this back to Canterlot so that they can study it! SPIIIIKE!"

An all too manly dragon strode confidently into the cave. "Princess Twilight, I heed your call. And I would like to be the first to congratulate all your fellow princesses!"

"Oh, Spike, your appreciation is most appreciated!" Rarity cooed, swooning onto the purple drake.

Twilight cleared her throat. "Be that as it may, we need to send this to Celestia immediately." She hovered the staff over to Spike.

"Very well! I shall use my postal flame to transport it!"

"But--!!!!" Starlight objected.

The dragon breathed his green fire over the staff, sending it off. Twilight turned to Starlight with a grin. "Thank you, good mare, for your incredible discovery! I'm sure just as soon as we have found out how this happened, we will return and grant you the first official usage of the Staff of ascension!"

"BUT---!!!!!!!!!!" Starlight cried.

"For now, though, I feel we must go. Ladies... AWAY!" Twilight lit her horn and in an instant all six alicorns and one dragon had teleported off.

"But-- but--- but---- but------"


144.5 (Detective Ethan Redfield)

Bright lights appeared all around Sunset as she returned through the mirror. The entirety of the Royal Guard stood at attention, Pegasus whipping the wind into a frenzy around them while the unicorns were casting their brightest flash spell. Six familiar ponies stepped forth from the shadows. They halted as one and Twilight stepped out from the crowd. Her face seemed oddly serious, "Sunset, We know what you've been doing these last couple loops."

Applejack was glaring at her, "Sugarcube, ya got problems, and ya need to address it head on!"

Rarity put her hoof on Sunset's leg, "Sunset, dearie, I know all the places you've been and the things you've had to do, but we can help you. You don't know what that stuff can do to you."

Sunset looked down at herself, then to her friend, "But-"

Pinkie started bawling on the streets, "Please, Sunny, can't you see how much this is hurting you, hurting all of us?!"

Fluttershy stuttered, "Y-you should s-s-say n...no to that, Sunny. Think about your friends, about the influence you have over the Crusaders. They almost started doing it too."

That really confused Sunset, "Uh, wait, wha-"

Dash stepped forward, "Sunset, we've always been there for you, and we always will during your upcoming challenges."

Sunset would be touched if she knew what was going on, "I-um, Ohh...kaayy, bu-"

Celestia stepped forward, her face scrunched up in disappointment, "Sunset, I promise we will be there for you every step of the way. Don't hesitate to call on us to help with your problem. Twilight even promised to sponsor you at the meetings."

Sunset flared her horn and her mane caught fire as her confusion finally reached a boiling point, "ENOUGH!"

With that, the unicorns' horns' lights disappeared and the Pegasi started leaving the area. Sunset huffed several times, put out the flames on her mane and replied, "Look, I'm just visiting the human world for a burger every now and then, alright?! I just...have a stronger urge for meat this loop. It wasn't harming anyone."

Twilight patted her friend on the shoulder, "Oh Sunset, Sunset, Sunset. We have been watching the mirror for months. We know you've been visiting Canterlot High every night. Dash even followed you a couple nights ago. She had one of the Wiskey River BBQ burgers from that nice restaurant."

Dash gave a smirk, "Yeah, it was pretty good too."

Twilight's eyes turned wicked for a second, "And that's why Dashy is going to join you in your rehabilitation."

The blue pegasus' looked thrilled for a second before it took a downturn, "Yeah...wait, what?!"

Twilight silently thought to herself, And that's Dash and Sunset checked off the "Revenge for Destroying my Tree" list. Next up, Vinyl Scratch and her Wubbing my tree out of existence.


Sunset folded her hooves together as she sat by an equally upset Rainbow Dash. They were in a classroom being taught by a cow which impressed upon them the importance of eating egg based products. Sunset muttered, "Tonight, we blow this joint, spend the rest of the loop at Canterlot High, eating Chic-Fil-A and working on a potion to turn Twilight into a bovine. You with me?"

Dash nodded, "Oh, yeah."


144.6 (katfairy)


Fluttershy Awoke. It only took a few seconds for her to realize that she was at Cadence and Shining Armor’s wedding, a few more to realize that Twilight Sparkle should have appeared with the real Cadence five minutes ago, and a few more after that to realize that it wasn’t because they were both here. One of the Royal Guard was standing in as best stallion, and doing it with the polite expression of somepony who would prefer to be anywhere else but was too smart to let anypony see that. The rest of the girls were standing next to Fluttershy, dressed in their bridesmaids’ regalia, but Twilight wasn’t amongst them.

Then the Loop memories hit.

“Oh, no!”

Everypony turned to stare. Celestia broke off in the middle of her homily. Cadence glared. Fluttershy sent out a quick Ping, and got only two responses back; a quick check let her see that this was the real, if unAwake, Cadence. And she had been acting exactly like Chrysalis had in baseline. This was Not Acceptable. At one point, Fluttershy would have backed down and simply let events progress, but she’d been Looping too long to be that doormat anymore. No, this was not the time to let bad behavior slide, and she wondered why Twilight had. She’d have to be careful, though; if she was too assertive, it would look suspicious.

“Fluttershy?” Celestia was beginning to look concerned; good. “Do you have a reason to stop this wedding?”

“Oh, no,” she said quickly, voice soft but pitched just right to carry to the whole room. “He can marry her if he wants to. Although… I can’t imagine why he would. I mean, she’s not very nice.”

That started a bit of a fuss; she winced, but knew she had to keep going.

“Fluttershy, what are you saying,” Rarity gasped.

“Hey, it was pretty nice of her to ask us to be bridesmaids after hers had to bail,” Rainbow Dash argued. Applejack opened her mouth to say something, blinked, and closed it again, while Pinkie Pie just watched with huge eyes.

“Did she put you up to this?” Cadence demanded. “I knew she was jealous, but to ruin my special day with her temper tantrum!”

“It’s her brother’s special day, too,” Fluttershy pointed out. “Although now that I think about it, he’s not very nice, either. After all, he never even told her he was engaged; she only found out about the wedding because Princess Celestia sent her an invitation.”

“What?” Celestia clearly hadn’t known that, and Fluttershy had to wonder what would have happened in baseline if Twilight had thought to mention that. “Fluttershy, I think you had better continue your explanation.”

“Well…” Fluttershy took a deep breath, then launched into her speech. “Cadence treated Twilight like an unwanted guest from the moment we got here, she lied to Applejack and threw away perfectly good food when she could have just as easily made an excuse and let somepony else enjoy the treats, she was rude to her bridesmaids and how is it that all three of them suddenly had emergencies at the same time? And Twilight said Shining Armor didn’t want you to cast that spell on him, and you went ahead and did it anyway.”

“I don’t remember saying that,” Shining Armor said.

“That’s because she lied,” Cadence said. “She just wants to make trouble so she can have you all to herself.”

“Twilight ain’t the one been caught lyin’ recently, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “And if she’s so bound and determined to have her brother to herself, why’s she been in Ponyville for the past year?”

“Darlings, it’s just bridal nerves,” Rarity said, but a dubious note crept into her voice.

“That ain’t no excuse for actin’ like a spoiled brat,” Applejack retorted. “Reckon I let the glamour of bein’ at a royal weddin’ go to my head, but Fluttershy’s right, and I’m plum ‘shamed o’ myself for letting my real friend down.”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to cause a fuss,” Fluttershy said. “But I can’t be part of this anymore. I’ll… I’ll just go. I think I’m going to find Twilight and apologize for not listening to her, and I just hope she can forgive me.”

It was hard to walk back down the aisle with everypony staring at her. She’d gained a lot of confidence during the Loops, but stage fright wasn’t something that just got better; the best she could ever hope for was being able to manage it. Which she could, with the occasional relapse. But at the moment, she was managing. It helped that she knew Twilight would forgive her, and probably wasn’t even really mad. And it helped even more that Applejack and Pinkie Pie joined her before she’d even made it halfway.

Applejack was looking thoughtful, even slightly worried, but Pinkie had her head high, a determined expression on her face. There wasn’t much that Pinkie took seriously, but friendship was definitely in that category. If Pinkie wasn’t Awake, and it was never easy to tell even with the Pings, then she would probably think that she’d failed Twilight, and she wouldn’t rest until she’d made amends. And neither would anyone else for miles around, because a penitent Pinkie was almost as noisy as an angry or upset Pinkie.

As the doors closed behind them, Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief before discarding her finery. Applejack and Pinkie followed suit, and the three looked at each other.

“Reckon Dash and Rarity ain’t comin’.”

“Oh, Dashie would never want to miss anything as exciting as what’s probably going to happen once ponies figure out what just happened,” Pinkie said breezily. “And Rarity’s probably still in shock. I don’t think we should wait; Twilight’s gotta be real upset right now and she’ll need her friends, if… if she still wants us as friends.”

“Oh, Twilight wouldn’t drop us just because we made a bad decision,” Fluttershy said, eying the faintly deflated mane. “Especially if we apologize. But we need to hurry; she may have already gone back to Ponyville, and the next train’s in ten minutes.”

“That doesn’t give us a lot of time, but if we ask as we go, somepony might know something. I didn’t bring nothin’ I don’t mind leavin’ behind; how ‘ bout you?”

“Nope!”

“No, I packed light. Oh, and here’s someone to ask now.” Fluttershy recognized Flash Sentry, currently in the uniform of a new recruit. It was almost a shame that he wouldn’t end up earning his post in the Crystal Empire this Loop, but she was sure he’d do all right somehow. He was nice, fairly clever, and reliable, if a bit dull. More importantly, he was here and willing to answer questions.

“Twilight? Yeah, she left last night after that big blowup. She didn’t seem too upset, if you’re worried about that. More like fed up, and I can’t say as I blame her. Uh, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Flash blushed, rubbing the back of his neck, but Applejack shook her head.

“Might be some in these parts that don’t take to plain speakin’, but they’re on the other side o’ them doors. Twi had every reason to be fed up, and we’re fixin’ to apologize when we see her. But if we want to catch the train, we gotta get goin’, so thanks for your help and keep your head down for the next few days, ‘cause things ‘round here are likely to get ugly.”

Flash looked at the doors, looked at the piles of discarded clothing, and winced.

“I wonder if I can get emergency leave to visit my sick cousin in Vanhoover,” they heard him mutter as they headed out, followed by, “I wonder if I even have a cousin in Vanhoover.”


They made the train with just seconds to spare, and returned to Ponyville with no further drama. Fluttershy wished it could stay that way, but wasn’t holding out much hope. They entered the library to find Twilight having tea with Chrysalis.

“—only for a few more years, at least,” Chrysalis was saying. “I’m glad Loops like this aren’t too frequent, though. With Trixie working as a special effects artist in Manehattan and shacked up with that obnoxious fashion thief, I don’t have much to do.”

“Well, you could always help us with Sombra,” Fluttershy offered. “I’m not sure Cadence will be much use this time around.”

“Oh, hey, Fluttershy,” Twilight said with a grin, eyebrows raising as she spotted Applejack and Pinkie. “No need to apologize, okay? I should have made myself clearer, and you should have listened to me, and we all handled things badly, okay? So let’s just get that out of the way and get on with our lives.”

“You sure, sugarcube?”

“Positive.”

“Well, all right, then.”

“Welllllll….” Pinkie said, frowning. “Okay, but I’m still baking you a special sorry-I-ignored-you-because-I-wanted-to-party-with-somepony-who-turned-out-to-be-a-big-meanypants cake. Deal?”

“Deal,” Twilight agreed, then cocked her head. “I may regret asking, but what kind of cake would that be, anyway?”

“Rose-flavored sponge cake with whipped cream and strawberries.”

“Absolutely a deal, then. So what happened? Why did you leave? And where are Rainbow Dash and Rarity? Oh, and this is Chrysalis, she’s a Changeling, and she’s friendly.”

The group sat and discussed the day’s events. Thanks to Chrysalis’ comments as they’d entered and Fluttershy’s response, Applejack and Pinkie had to be told about the Loops, but both took them in stride. It was hardly the strangest thing they’d heard of, even at this point in baseline, so Fluttershy wasn’t surprised by that. Nor was it surprising that they found the Loops less interesting than discussing the interrupted wedding; Loops were simply a thing that existed, whereas the wedding was current events. They were relieved to hear that the original Cadence was much nicer, though. Still, Fluttershy had a few questions.

“Twilight, how did this Cadence ever become an alicorn? She doesn’t act like she knows much about love at all.”

“Turns out this Loop, it’s possible to be born an alicorn. It happens every few hundred years on average. They don’t tend to be much more powerful than anypony else; the powerful ones are regular ponies who have ascended—that’s done by using your special talent in a way that is basically the perfect expression of what that talent is. Like a pony whose special talent is singing ascended by helping to sing an entire world into creation while simultaneously reforming the greatest evil that world would ever face. Or a pony farmer who turned an entire desert planet into lush farmland.” Twilight’s last comments were directed at Applejack and Pinkie, who nodded. “I’m not entirely sure how Cadence ascended in baseline; I knew once, but I’ve forgotten. I’ve probably got it written down somewhere, of course, but it doesn’t matter right now. I don’t think this Cadence is capable of ascending; my Loop memories seem to indicate that she was always like this. I didn’t realize it as a filly, but she was just being nice to me because I was Celestia’s student and she had a thing for my brother. Now that I’m here and she’s got him, she doesn’t need me anymore. I hate seeing her like that, and since my last few Loops were really annoying—not bad, really, just annoying—I decided that if nopony listened in this Loop, I wasn’t going to stick around. Now I kinda wish I had; I think we’re probably missing a pretty good show.”

“Just hope Rainbow Dash had enough sense to not bring popcorn,” Applejack said, then looked up at a knock on the door. A hooded figure crept in with a familiar faint tingle of magic; Luna was Awake too, now.

“Sorry I didn’t ping earlier,” she said, “but I… well, Cadence is having some rather impressive hysterics, and nopony in the castle is going to be sleeping until she’s done. Or until Celly gets fed up and sends her on a lunar time-out. I told my guards to let discretion be the better part of valor, then followed suit.”

“That a fancy way o’ sayin you noped on outa there?”

“Pretty much, yes. But Cadence is demanding all of you be arrested for treason, creating a public nuisance, and anything else she can think of. I’m not sure whether to hope she Awakens soon so that we no longer have to deal with this brat or hope that she doesn’t so that she isn’t humiliated by the memories of what her unAwake self has done. Celestia seems disinclined to grant these requests, but should she do so, I know some lovely islands that are just begging to be colonized, but are too far for a Pegasus to fly to. And from what I have seen recently, I do not think too many of your brother’s men would be particularly keen on pursuit. I suspect the only reason none of them have used the term ‘Bridezilla’ is because none of them have heard it.”

Chrysalis and Twilight snickered, and Fluttershy couldn’t help a small giggle either. They settled back in for further discussion, but Luna couldn’t tell them much more. The talk began to wander from topic to topic, and eventually they put the wedding out of their thoughts. Luna left at sundown in order to fulfill her duties, with a Pinkie Promise to keep an eye on them until everything was settled. The others settled into the library to await whatever news would come, hoping that Rarity and Rainbow Dash would return soon.

They were awakened the next morning by Rainbow Dash bursting through the door.

“You guys missed everything! Hey, who’s that? Never mind, AJ wouldn’t be sleeping with a that was going to come out wrong no matter what I said so just forget it. Anyway, Rarity’s on the train but I didn’t wanna wait to tell you what happened. Twi, your brother and Cadence are in serious trouble. Princess Celestia read ‘em the riot act after Flutters and the rest left, and she said that the wedding was off until they could prove they were mature enough to handle the responsibilities of married life. Cadence threw an epic hissy fit, but your brother told her to shut up and that he’d warned her that treating people bad just ‘cause she’s a princess wasn’t going to fly, then he apologized to everypony. And he said he’d sent you a letter just before Discord popped up, so that probably explains that and he feels kinda dumb that he didn’t think to check to see you actually got it. Which he totally should, if you ask me, but I’ll cut him some slack ‘cause hey, he told Cadence to shut up. And then Cadence started up again, only twice as loud until Celestia blew her stack even worse than after that ‘Want It/Need It’ spell thing of Twilight’s and now Cadence is being sent to a special school in Prance where she’s gonna have to learn about the hard parts of being a princess, starting with manners. That’s pretty close to being a direct quote, by the way. Oh, and has anypony seen Princess Luna? She was spotted flying away from the castle, and the night did everything it was supposed to, but nopony’s seen her since yesterday.”

“She’s probably in my bed,” Twilight said. “I told her I’d being sacking out down here with these guys to wait for you and Rarity, so if she didn’t want to go back to Canterlot, she could stay here.”

Dash floated up, peeked into the bedroom, and nodded before floating back down.

“Yeah, she’s there. I’ll let her sleep. She probably lost a few hours yesterday. Oh, yeah, one last thing: I think Princess Celestia’s planning on coming here to apologize for being so hard on you, even if you were a bit over the top with your accusation, ‘cause Cadence isn’t actually evil, just a pain.”

Fluttershy wasn’t the least bit surprised that a knock on the door came immediately afterwards. Spike, who was keeping out of the way and quiet, opened the door to let Celestia in. She entered quietly, with the odd mix of dignity and humility only an embarrassed goddess could pull off.

“Twilight Sparkle, I am—uh, why is there a Changeling in your library?”

“Because keeping me in the kitchen would be silly,” Chrysalis responded. Twilight rolled her eyes, but Celestia seemed to accept that as an answer. Or at least accepted that as an answer that wasn’t likely to add to her list of problems.

“Yes. Well. Twilight, I treated you very badly the other day, and I did it publicly, so I feel my apology should be equally public. Although your accusations were perhaps a trifle excessive, I should not have simply brushed them aside. I should also have been more aware of just how out of hoof Princess Cadence had become. I am truly sorry that you have suffered any distress through my negligence.”

“It’s all right Princess,” Twilight said. “I shouldn’t have blown my stack like I did. Maybe if I’d asked you about the changes I’d seen in Cadence’s character, we could have avoided all this, so at least some of the fault is mine. And I’m sorry for that.”

“Thank you, Twilight. I’m sure Rainbow Dash has already told you of what happened after the wedding, but you may be interested in knowing that Princess Cadence is currently on her way to Madame Pleasance’s Academy for Wayward Noblewomen. Your brother has promised me, and has informed Cadence, that he will not contact her while she is there, but that he will wait for her return, at which point he will reassess their relationship. Shining Armor seems truly fond of her, so it may be that he can see qualities in her that are escaping me at the moment. I hope so, for his sake.”

“Nah, he’s totally thinking with the lower brain.”

Rainbow Dash!!!” Applejack’s eyes were almost popping out of her head, but Pinkie was nodding while Twilight and Chrysalis were trying not to crack up. Celestia was blinking fast enough to create a small breeze. Fluttershy hid a smile while trying to remain unnoticed.

“What? It’s the truth!”

“Well, yeah, but— ah, ponyfeathers.”

“Rainbow Dash is right,” Luna yawned from the top of the stairs, ethereal mane displaying some truly epic bedhead. “Oh, hi, Celly. Is all the drama done now? Or has it just moved here? If it has, I may send myself to the moon just to get some decent sleep.”

Celestia opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, closed it again. Fluttershy, feeling sorry for her, popped into the kitchen to retrieve a few things from her Pocket. A short time later, she gave the still-bewildered Princess a mug of Irish Coffee. Intersecting Looper shenanigans combined with Rainbow Dash being even more blunt than usual called for it, in her opinion, especially when they came on top of two very trying days. Celestia took it without a second glance and downed the whole thing in a single gulp.

“Oh, dear.” Fluttershy backed away quickly.

“Uh, Fluttershy, please tell me you didn’t make that with Klatchian coffee,” Twilight said quietly. “Remember what happened when Berry Punch tried to distill it for coffee brandy? She was in Eiken for three straight Loops. And then there was Pinkie’s tiramisu…”

“Ummm... And I might have used Firewhiskey. And, um, the cream’s from Petaybee. I thought she needed a good stiff drink; I didn’t expect her to need it that badly. Um, should we, maybe, run?”

They looked at Celestia, whose eyes had glazed over. Her mane was trying to stand straight out in every direction, and her tail had curled. She was beginning to vibrate. And glow.

“Yes.” Twilight said. “Yes, we should.”

The next few seconds were rather chaotic, with everypony scrambling for the nearest exit, screaming for the inhabitants of Ponyville to duck and cover. The usual panic occurred, but everypony was safe when the blinding flash came, accompanied by the sound of a giant tree dissolving into splinters. When they could all see again, there was a glowing crater where the library used to be, crowned with an aurora. They crept up to it cautiously.

Celestia stood in the bottom of the crater, weaving slightly, both mane and tale now tightly curled. She blinked up at them, eyes askew.

“I just don’t know what went wrong,” she said, and fell over. There was a moment of silence, then:

“Fluttershy…”

“eep.”

Fluttershy took one look at Twilight doing her best Rapidash imitation, ascended, and flew away fast enough to create a Sonic Flutterboom. Suddenly it seemed like a good Loop for meeting new critters on the other side of the world, preferably in a deep, impenetrable jungle where nopony could find her.


144.7 (Bliss Authority)

Rarity Awoke to the sound of her own maniacal laughter, blinked, and only survived the massive barrage of flaming pegasus feathers streaking at her in a brilliant display of pyrotechnics by resorting to instinct and loop memories. She dismissed them with a disdainful stroke, a sweeping outside block tinged with traces of blue magic (mistfire, her loop memories called it). Then she bowed to her opponent.

"I surrender, " she said.

The pegasus mare before her snorted, pawing the ground. "Yeah, pull the other one, Price Beyond Pearls," she said. "It's got a Black Lotus in it."

Then her mane and tail ignited, billowing red and gold flame.

Rarity rocked back up to a sitting position, blinked, then sent out a ping – making sure to frown as she did so so there was a visual cue.

The other pegasus' jaw dropped. Then her eyes narrowed. "Talk," she said. "You have ten seconds to explain who you are and why I should listen to someone Ganesha decided to put in Clan Happy Fun Naga."

"I assure you that I'm as revolted by who I replaced this loop as you are," Rarity said. She was going to need a stiff drink once she got back to a more regular Loop. "Ugh, is your world always this horrid baseline?"

The pegasus snorted. "Welcome to the scenic Sultai Brood of Tarkir. I'm gonna be honest here; if you don't like the enthusiastic violation of our most basic rights, there's not much else going on."

Rarity laughed nervously. "Yes, well. I can see why you'd want to kill who I replaced. Shall we start again with introductions? I am Rarity Belle, from the Equestria loops." She turned, politely presenting her Cutie Mark as she curtseyed.

"Yeah, I shall," the mare said with a roll of her eyes, twisting her hip to reveal a stylized red fireball for a Mark. "Chandra Nalar. Planeswalker loops. Loop memories peg me as Fire Brand, which I gotta say is a massive improvement from being Char the Magic Dragon."

"Enchanted," she said.

"Might wanna get that Naturalized," Chandra said. Rarity blinked. "Mind if I smoke some zombies while I explain what's going on?"

"My dear, nothing would give me greater pleasure. And afterwards, I can introduce you to my friends – at least some of them are awake. But first, I rather think if we're going to be fighting zombies, we should be dressed for the occasion, don't you?"

Rarity pulled a suit of full barding out of her Pocket. Then she grinned and ignited the plasma steel, and she was wreathed in flames.

Chandra whistled. "Okay, I take back everything bad I've ever said about Equestria. I want myself four of those."


(Fan of Most Everything)

Rarity, Herd Tyrant
2BGU
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Shaman
Whenever Rarity, Herd Tyrant enters the battlefield or attacks, put the top three cards of your library into your graveyard.
2, Exile two cards from your graveyard: Put a 2/2 black Zombie creature token onto the battlefield.
"Sidisi was no threat to me, darling. What makes you think you are?"
3/3


(Bliss Authority)

Sidisi gingerly picked up a mango from a tray proffered by a bound earth pony servant, and took a bite from the most pockmarked segment of it in hopes of getting succulent flies and worms along with her fruit. Then she consulted the latest missive from the front, delivered to her via a scroll-case lodged in the skull of a traitor.

News from the front was not good. The too-clever-by half old rakshasa she had employed as her last vizier had assured her that he had measures in place in the event that Price Beyond Pearls attempted a return to the Jeskai for a sudden, yet inevitable, betrayal. She calmly allowed this vizier to answer her questions about how, precisely, Price had managed to escape these measures. And assured him that his battery of coercion, subtle mind control, and the witchweed at the base of her spine set to dissolve the moment she left Sultai territory were all quite reasonable precautions.

Then she dropped him into a moat full of crocodiles. There were only so many ways he could say 'I literally have no idea how she escaped' before she grew bored of his terror.

Since then, the little anarchist of a unicorn had been burning down her soldiers left and right - or rather, aiding and abetting a new factor, a clanless pegasus who went by the name of Fire Brand. Curiously, she had made no attempt to return to Jeskai territory, but it was surely only a matter of time before she went to them with her secrets. Secrets that were the Sultai's alone.

She snapped her fingers. Her earth pony servant turned in place, and she grabbed a smoked duck leg. No reason for the bad news to ruin her appetite, after all.

Then the orc ran into the building in panic. "Sidisi, my liege!" he said. "They are coming! It is not safe here!"

Sidisi rose, coiling around the impudent warrior in a flash. "You have interrupted my meal, orc. That is always a mistake. We shall discuss your penance once you deliver your message. Who are coming?"

"Price and Brand!" he wheezed through his constricted chest. "Price and Brand - and they led our foes to us!"

Sisidi's eyes went wide, and her pupils narrowed into thin slits. "The Jeskai? Here?"

"No, Khan! The Mardu!"

"What? Impossible! Not even the Mardu are that swift!"

It was right about then when the orc was struck right between the eyes by a hoof travelling at about mach 2. His ears sang like a temple bell, and with that he was out and on the ground.

Sidisi narrowed her eyes and drew two dao sabers, striking at the blue streak of a pegasus who had invaded her home in a cross-shaped slash. Price Beyond Pearls stood before her, along with a fiery-maned golden pegasus she didn't recognize; hovering before Price were her namesake, thirteen perfect pearls suspended in the air with telekinesis, both her weapon and her shield. Sidisi knew that she could conjure more whenever she needed to.

The flaming armor was new, though. No doubt the pyromancer had bribed her with it.

Sidisi made a subtle motion with her sword. No movement. She tensed for a lunge -

And a pearl was suddenly a fingernail's breadth from her eye.

"Ah ah ah, manners," the white unicorn said, strutting before her. "Attacking your guests? How terribly rude. Almost as rude as the way you treat your honored servants."

Fire Brand joined her side, flaring her wings and igniting her mane and tail. "Translated from Fancy," she said with a grin, "that means you drop the swords and surrender, and in return I don't make you explode twice before you hit the ground."

Sidisi knew more counter-spells than the Jeskai had forgotten. She snorted. "Idle threats."

The third one spoke - Rainbow Helmdasher, the young Mardu khan. "You realize that we're just the first wave, right? We've got enough of an army to smash through an Apple fortress - stones root, branches, boughs, and the freaking beast pulling it - if we have to."

"Lies," Sidisi hissed. "You would need thousands."

"Nope, just one. Who is really late." Rainbow Helmdasher frowned. "Where the heck is he, anyway?"

It was then that an enormous tortoise foot tore away the roof, and most of the back wall, of Sidisi's palace. She turned - and stared, upwards, at a shell the breadth of a fortress and a great snapping beak that could swallow her whole. A butter-yellow, pink-haired pegasus in the pelts common to an elder Temur was riding on its neck, and made a sort of delighted squeal more commonly associated with dog toys than living beings.

"Hey, Tank!" Rainbow Dash said, grinning. "About time you showed up, good to see you! Is Fluts treating you well?"

"Oh, you know Tank," Fluttershy replied, scratching him behind his ear. Well, his internal ear; being a tortoise, he didn't have an external one. "He is awfully hungry, though. And he wouldn't touch the zombies - although I guess I can't blame him."

It was then that Sidisi's bodyguards arrived, a full 12-man fang of naga sword-snakes, their rakshasa leader, and their zombie meat-shields. They surveyed the situation - then just as quickly turned around and headed back the way they came.

"KATRINA! RETURN TO BATTLE, YOU CRAVEN POTION-ADDLED COWARD!" Sidisi bellowed after them. "YOUR KHAN DEMANDS IT!"

"NOT FOR ALL THE WITCHWEED DOWN THE MARANG!" was the rakshasa's response, which actually managed to Doppler down in pitch with the speed of her escape. "BEI LIAO FOR NOW!"

Sidisi slithered towards the eastern wall, eyes firmly on the tortoise.

"We would like to negotiate the terms of your surrender, Sidisi." Price Beyond Pearls idly filed a hoof. "And the return of the Sultai clan to pony hooves."

Chandra grinned, sending an arc of lightning between her wings. "We can do this the easy way - or the Chandra way. Please say Chandra way; I haven't blown something up in hours."

(In loving memory of Turdle McDurdle. RIP, Meandering Towershell.)

Author's Note:

144.1: Problem solved? (Trek crossover)
144.2: It is a touchy subject. (Full Metal Alchemist crossover)
144.3: Fair point...
144.4: Epic Troll.
144.5: They don't eat sapient food. But even the non-sapient kind is rather upsetting to their friends.
144.6: And sometimes, she's just kind of a jerk.
144.7: Come join the pony side, we have phat lootz. (MtG cross)

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