Sentimentality: The Poems of Equestria

by GhostWriter17

And Again

And Again

A poem by GhostWriter17

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And again I wake up to the morning,
I'm ready to face my day!
The new day is dawning, and Twilight,
she awaits.

My calling is simple, to be by her side,
Always and forever, together in our stride.
Never can I falter, and never can I sway,
For she needs me ever, each and every day.
I've sworn to be by her side.
In my heart she'll always hide.
My routines are quick, my thinking is nimble,
Some say I'm slick, others call me simple.
I may be chubby, but that doesn't make me hurt,
They can say what they wish; I'll never feel like dirt!
Sometimes I laugh and enjoy life.
Other times thoughts are full of evil.
It's a common occurrence, I suppose...

My days go by quickly, and I'm never missing a beat!
Always acting swiftly, always on my feet!
Be it for Miss Rarity, my one true love,
Or for any pony else that needs my love.
I live to serve, for serving is my life.
Sometimes I wish things were better than this...

And Again I care not about what they say.
I can live!
I can live anyway!
Of course, sometimes it's difficult to get through,
But oftentimes I push away that blue.

And Again I am alone to clean the library.
Sweeping and cleaning, my mind fills into the imaginary.
I run across lava and chase evil beasts!
Take out fearsome foes and eat delicious treats!
The world it has color, so vibrant and raw!
On my mission to save Her, I have no flaw!

And AGAIN I have saved Her after hours of work.
Expecting a peck on the cheek, I-
No such thing comes.

She pushes me away.
Hate boils through my brain.
My vision blurs, and I try to laugh.
Rarity walks.
No time to mull.

I call out to her as shadows overtake my skin,
It seems she's unaware of me.
Her daggers pierce me and slice my beating heart,
Be still... Be still... Calm down.

But to be the sidekick, small and meek,
Does it mean I'm awful?
Does it make me weak?

To be outgoing...
Or not to be that way...
What's my true purpose?
Why am I?
Why must these thoughts come now?
Oh why, Today?

And Again with these questions rolling in my brain,
I seek a station for my train.
Curled up in my blankets, soft in its safeness,
I am free to think alone.

And Again I cry of purpose, no matter what I've been through before,
For I know not where I'm going, or what I'm even here for.
Do they truly love me?
Do I even matter?
I can cause joy, but I also cause calamity.

And Again Twilight sobs in her bed, knowing of my sorrow,
That pitch-black that is I inside this cradle, hollow.

And Again my head beats while my heart stays silent.
I let the numbness flow through me, I, my own Tyrant.
Should I seek a new refuge, like I did before?
Or should I stay here wanting nothing more?

I don't know.

I always try to stay calm and keep my mind in focus.
Breathe, Spike-
Don't let those thoughts consume you
And you can finally be free from
This torture that showers you in evil.
You have to learn to let go
So you can be happy again.
Who cares, I ask myself,
If she has others to care for her?
I can still be there!
I know I can.

I've spent far too long dwelling on this
Calamity that scratches my heart.
Twilight is right;
I have to be better, and move on.
"Don't be bitter, Spike, but understand
Time can heal these wounds, as long as you let feelings go."

Oh, but the pain is a numbness
One I find so calming.
After feeling it for so long
It protects me, my mind's awning.

This pain is real, and it's okay.
I'll live. I'll live anyway.

I'll get by.
It's alright.
I don't need her.
I can be sad.

But... I don't want to be...

What to do?

Author's Note:

This was actually one of the first poems I wrote for this collection, but I never published it cause it has lots of little problems, I think. But I decided to publish it anyway.

This may end up being the last poem in this series, cause I can't think of any more ideas. BUT I don't wanna just put it as "complete" for the heck of it... Hmm... Don't know what to do.

Love always and forever,
-Ghost

Comments

[SilentBelle]

Interesting. I can see why you would have been hesitant to publish it. I felt the first half of it was little bit weaker, as far as your poems go. I feel that with the way Spike describes his position as servant, it doesn't ring with the level of pride that I'd expect. I don't know, it felt a little off there.

The second half however, it gives us a look at a budding darkness within Spike, and I feel as though I didn't have enough context for that darkness in the first place. Is this based on a particular moment in the show? Or is it some future happening that might come to pass? Still, it was an enjoyable read, if not really my favourite poem in your collection.

[GhostWriter17]

4518244 My thoughts exactly! Seriously spot on. I don't know, after all this time I just couldn't make myself delete it and I just published it out of obligation I guess, considering I've been on a months-long hiatus (again) and haven't been in the writing frenzy, despite desperately wanting to write.

If I remember correctly, I think I started writing the poem after I saw the episode whereSpike's greed gets the best of him, and the idea came to me when Rarity and he were falling and they have that quiet little moment in the air. I don't know why though. It's strange.

And honestly, looking back at all these strange spur-of-the-moment one offs, I realize that, rather unintentionally, Sentimentality really summarises the entire thing of it. No matter how vague or klunky the poems are, they mostly deal with some sort of saddened emotion on some level, successful or no.

Hmm...

Not sure where I'm going with all this.

Love always and forever,
-Ghost

[APoeticHeart]

Beautiful, powerful, sad, and strong emotional poem I can feel Spike's heart bleeding and pouring through these words. Indeed Spike, it is no good at all to keep your emotions locked in, you've just got to let them go.