I hope that, once he lets her out- thinks she's "fixed"- Rarity takes a knife to herself. Not because I want to see her dead, but because I want to see him suffer through having destroyed that beautiful gem.

Or, perhaps more likely, Rarity desperately trying to hook herself back into the machine, and all his self-serving delusions shattering like glass...

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I don't wanna spoil anything! :P But I'm glad you're feeling stuff about the story! I really am, because that was the intent.

(I consider it a minor personal accomplishment that any readers are feeling things about a character with such a terrible name. Neurotransmitter!? What was I thinking? )

Excellent as always.

I like the name neurotransmitter :P

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You're not the one who has to keep typing it! ;D

I'm glad you like it, though. I'm already working on the next chapter!

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*cough*
Well, his name did make me laugh. Repeatedly. But I don't think the story suffers too much from it...

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I am terrible with pony names, I fully admit. I'm half thinking of changing it to just Neuron.

I'm glad you think it's not suffering for it, though. :)

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Of all the stories I could try to finish with a happy ending, this isn't gonna be one. Sorry, Rares.

I'm half considering a major rewrite. This at least needs severe editing; I was out of practice when I did it.

Might want to put this in the Mind Control group. It's a little iffy on whether it truly belongs, but I think this is the kind of creepy stuff they are looking for and I'd argue it's close enough.

You write really well considering the average quality of fics with this kind of content. You should do more to advertise yourself; I dislike seeing good writing going unnoticed. A good image and attractive description goes a long way to attracting initial views, and joining the appropriate groups alerts people who you think would be interested in the content.

Also, I think the tragedy and sad tags don't belong. Tragedy doesn't mean "bad end" or that someone is hurt permanently, it's more that their ultimate failure is due to some flaw or fate or critical mistake. Sad doesn't really cover "torture" or similar horrible stuff like that, either. You could probably make a case for them, but in my opinion Dark + the description warning of some of the specifics covers things well enough. Unnecessary sad/tragedy + dark just scares off readers.

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The definition of tragedy I always go with is 'the villain wins'. The definition of 'sad' I go with is 'meant to evoke unhappiness in the reader'.

There can be fine lines on that, of course. One of my favorite examples is Trainspotting: The main character (a drug addict and quite a bastard) leaves his friends hanging out to dry after a robbery, and 'wins' in that sense, but he's an antihero. The real villain of the piece is Begbie, the maniac who'd just as soon shoot you as look at you.

Some parts of it are sad, but it's not tragic. The villain loses, in the end, even though it's a crapsack world. I've read stories that are tragic but not sad, too, although I can't name a good example off the top of my head.

Pleasure is fully intended to be a tragedy -- Rarity doesn't get away, doesn't win, doesn't get out from under Neuro. Fate doesn't have that in store for her. I'm thinking you're right about the sad tag, though. (I didn't add it to Mind Control because I didn't think it fit the standard MC paradigm closely enough. I might do it, once I'm a little more satisfied with the story.)

I haven't looked at Pleasure in a while; I need to try to write more of it anyway.

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*bows* Thank you, Princess. I have been meaning to come back to it -- and edit it quite a bit -- so the encouragement does not fall on deaf ears, I assure you.

It will be finished; it's only a matter of time.

Aww... this story was just getting interesting. Will pain and pleasure become one and the same for Rarity?

Neurotransmitter is a rather clunky name. What can I randomly throw out there... Neuro Synapse? But yeah, shortening it no just Neuro was a good idea for a nickname.