this takes place before Discord is reformed and after the crystal empire
Discord is now teamed up with Megatron and the Decepticons and the mane six with Optimus and the Autobots
this is my first fan fic its not that good I'm 14 and any criticism and pointers are appreciated.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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(Looks at description)
gifsforum.com/images/gif/i'm%20out%20of%20here/grand/im-out-of-here-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-1686.gif
2249846
talk to JDPrime22 he/she will improve ur story
I'm pretty good with formatting if you need help, just PM me.
I'm not even as old as you.
2251095 Go right ahead.
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What in the flipping flying flopping FUCK is with all of these bad stories marring my reading experience?! WHY?! Jesus! Nice trollfic, by the by.
>>BaconHazard ok i didnt wright a troll fic
i tried as hard as i could to make the story good 
and im sorry if i inflicted pain on youre oh so GLaDOS forsaken reading experience and i have been recently rereading this and i realized it sucked but it wasnt meant to be a troll fics i HATE troll fics and keep in mind i wrote this before i read any other fan fics this one was bound to crash and burn but i promise my next one will be better 
2250291
JDPime is a dude
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No not really.
OK, kid, you're 14 (or you were when you wrote this), so I'm gonna cut you some slack that it seems no one else was willing to.
Your story actually doesn't suck nearly as much as it looks like it sucks. This is because your formatting is awful. You aren't consistent about capitalizing the starts of sentences, you start a new paragraph every sentence (you should start a new paragraph for every new line of dialogue, but you can have more than one consecutive line of description), you mix up constructions like your and you're; all this makes it difficult to even read the story. It's also very, very rushed. But, on the other hand, you produced 8 thousand mostly correctly spelled words, which hung together in a relatively coherent plot, where the characters were at least vaguely in character. You kept Discord appropriately powerful (I can't tell you how tired I am of stories where giant transforming robots can kick the butt of a reality warper) and didn't have him do anything out of character; you didn't let either the Cybertronians or the Mane 6 do everything; and your OOC moments felt more like comedy than like you actually don't get the characters (like the scene with Celestia and Luna and Celestia's trying to build a boat.)
If you rewrite into proper English formatting to make it easier to read, make sure you correct the misspellings that are the use of the wrong word (MS Word and Google Docs will not catch those on spellcheck, you need to do it yourself or recruit someone to help you), and watch out for run-on sentences (run-on sentences is where you have multiple separate sentences separated by commas rather than ending with a period and starting the next with a capital letter), your story will be greatly improved. Your content is far from perfect but frankly I have read much, much worse on this site; simply fixing your grammar, spelling and formatting will do a lot to help you here.
I admit that your story is rough around the edges but This can definitely become a great story. You might want to take the time to read what you typed to avoid some minor mistakes. Also in terms of pacing, it does not bother me so much especially since you are a beginner at this. So just keep working at it.
"Ponies? You mean those hoofed beasts the humans ride on for pleasure?" .... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sorry (i'm not really) but that is just hilarious considering all the clop tics on this site...