Chapter 1
The little orange filly revved her scooter and gave a little determined grin as she hunkered down over the handle bars. She had left her helmet at home, but she figured it would be ok just this once. She lifted her hoof off the ground and gunned it, pushing her vehicle for all it was worth and demanding more. She giggled with pure ecstasy and was off in a puff of dust, weaving around the various sticks and rocks she had strategically placed as obstacles. She passed these simple barriers with ease, just as she had expected, but her course was far from over. This was just the warm up. The real challenges lay scattered around Ponyville, prearranged throughout the town and ending near the library.
Even though she was doing this primarily to get even better at her scooter tricks, a big part of her hoped like crazy that Rainbow Dash was somewhere nearby so she would see how awesome she was getting, and maybe even offer her some pointers since she was so great at devising tricks of her own.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Rainbow Dash was lounging on a cloud over Sugar Cube Corner, prodding Tank between her outstretched forelegs. The little turtle was smiling as he gently bounced between his owner’s soft hooves, and the mare had a bemused look on her face. It was so simple to please this guy that she secretly loved these quiet moments after clearing the sky and practicing her tricks almost as much as she loved her pet himself. Not that she would ever admit it, of course.
Her ear twitched as it registered the buzz of Scootaloo’s scooter approaching. She smiled and rolled over to watch her psudo-sister tear it up, Tank hovering quietly above her head.
She noticed that Scootaloo seemed to have fixed her gaze on something in front of her and followed her line of sight to a small makeshift ramp. The blue pegasus chuckled. Her little orange friend loved to grab some air on that thing and she couldn’t wait for her to get her wings under her so they could really fly together.
As she got close to her ramp, Scootaloo realized the moment of truth was almost upon her. She would have to commit to her jump in just a few moments, for better or worse. She wasn’t worried though. She had done this dozens of times with no problem.
Suddenly, a cart pulled directly behind the ramp, right where she expected to land.
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo gasped at the same time. Rainbow had just enough time to think, “Oh, this is bad, bad, bad!” before the filly slammed the handle bars to the side and was thrown off into the side of a house, smacking the side hard with an audible thunk.
Without looking at her pet, she said, “Wait for me at home, Tank,” and rushed to her little friend’s side.
She touched down and was relieved to see that Scootaloo was conscious, although she was blinking rapidly and hard and she didn’t seem to realize where she was. Rainbow Dash put her hoof gently on the filly’s back and said, “Hey, kiddo, are you alright? That was one nasty wipe out, girl.” She tried to hide the fact that she was breathing hard with worry.
Scootaloo blinked a few more times as she looked at her mentor. Finally, recognition sparked in her eyes and she said, “R-rainbow Dash?” Still not connecting all of the dots, her main concern was that she might have looked stupid in front of her idol. She put her hoof on her head and shook it hastily, but abruptly stopped as a wave of pain and nausea hit. She just barely managed to fight back the urge to get sick. She got her front legs under her and stopped, not trusting her back ones to behave as long as the earth was rocking as hard as it was. “W-what h-happened?” she managed.
The rainbow maned pegasus frowned as she looked at Scootaloo. She looked positively green, and after a crash like that, it was definitely a bad sign. “You took one of the worst spills I’ve ever seen is what happened,” she told her. Making a decision, she slid under the filly, settling her on her back, between her wings as gently as possible. “I’m taking you to the doctor. You hit that wall hard,” she declared as she turned them towards the hospital, going as carefully as possible so she didn’t jostle her passenger.
Her heart sinking, the filly said quickly, “Oh, no! You don’t have to. I’m just fine, I promise! J-just a little dizzy is all. I’m sure you’ve done this before…Ah! No, I mean- Not that you crash all the time or anything!” She panicked as her words refused to make her look cool in any way possible.
“Kid, Kid, relax! I know what you meant, it’s ok,” Rainbow reassured her, worrying that she would start to move around too much if she got too worked up. She tried a different tactic. “Look, you wanted me to take you under my wing, right?” she asked over her shoulder, “Well, any extreme pony will tell you that a key part of being extreme is keeping yourself fit and healthy. The way you bounced off that wall? Yeah, you are totally seeing the doctor…”
Scootaloo sighed and settled on Rainbow Dash’s back. Well, if she thought it was the thing to do, it probably was, right? She resigned herself to concentrating on not getting sick on the coolest pony alive.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Some time later, the little orange pegasus was feeling much better as she sat on the examination table while Rainbow Dash flipped through a magazine nearby. She shot her a shy glance and muttered, “Hey, Rainbow Dash? Thanks for bringing me to the hospital.”
Rainbow smiled with one side of her mouth and replied, “No problem, Scootaloo,” without looking up from her magazine.
The examination room door opened and the doctor slipped in, carrying a clipboard with one hoof. He nudged the door closed with a back hoof and smiled to his patient. “Well, Scootaloo, your tests have come back,” he said.
The blue mare closed her magazine and stepped closer, saying, “What’s the verdict, doc?”
The doctor turned his smile on Rainbow Dash and said, “The good news is, this little episode today was only a slight concussion. I am going to give her some medicine for pain, in case she gets a headache, but she should be right as rain soon enough.”
The two pegasi smiled to each other, and Dash carefully ruffled Scootaloo’s hair. “See? No problem, but it’s better safe than sorry, kiddo.” The Cutiemark Crusader nodded slowly, but enthusiastically.
Then, the doctor’s smile slipped away and he sat down opposite the two, sighing hard. “Unfortunately,” he continued, “the tests revealed something…else. Scootaloo, can you please extend your wings for me?”
Scootaloo frowned, but did as the doctor asked. He carefully felt and prodded along both of her wings with a concentrated, serious look on his face that made her worry.
Rainbow Dash also frowned and inquired, “What gives, Doc? I thought you were just checking her head?”
The doctor let go of the wings and thanked his patient for her cooperation, then shook his head a little and sighed again. When he looked up, there was a barely concealed sadness in his eyes as he explained. “We were, but we also looked at the rest of her to make sure that we didn’t miss anything. It’s common procedure with her kind of accident and we normally don’t find anything else, but as you said, ‘better safe than sorry’.” He paused as he tried to choose his next words carefully, then continued, “There is no easy way to say this. One of our scans showed that there was something wrong with the musculature in Scootaloo’s wings. In short, the muscles are underdeveloped. They will likely never support her enough to allow flight.”
Scootaloo felt like Big Macintosh had bucked her right in the stomach. She couldn’t think, almost like her brain had suddenly frozen, but Rainbow Dash was anything but speechless.
“Now, wait just a minute, Doc! What do you mean ‘underdeveloped’? She uses them all the time on her scooter, I’ve seen her! Can’t she just work with them or something?” she asked, refusing to believe what she was hearing. Her ears slicked back in frustration and doubt.
Solemnly shaking his head, the doctor replied, “I truly wish it were that simple, Rainbow Dash. But the source of the problem lies within the muscles themselves. They will simply never get large enough to do the job, beyond some simply hovering. I am very sorry.”
The normally fast pony slowly ducked her head and scuffed her hoof on the floor. “Yeah…ok,” she finally managed. “Come on, kiddo,” she added, reaching out a wing to cup her back before jerking it back abruptly as she realized her mistake.
Scootaloo looked at her with unfathomable loss in her gaze, tears just beginning to shine at the corner of her eyes. Without a word, she hopped down from the table and trudged sadly beside the mare she most wanted to be as Rainbow Dash went through the process of checking her out of the hospital.
They exited through the double doors together and stood near the road for a bit. Finally, Rainbow coughed a little and rubbed the back of her leg with her other hoof. “Hey, Scootaloo?” she said hesitantly, “I’ve, uh, got some stuff I need to take care of. You gonna be alright if I go for a while?”
The sad filly didn’t even lift her gaze from the ground, nodding slowly and quietly in response. The tears she had been barely holding back finally spilled over as she felt the wind whip up around her with Rainbow Dash’s take off. In her mind, this was just one of the first times she would get left behind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After she had sniffled quietly outside the hospital for a time, she found herself headed for the Cutiemark Crusader’s Clubhouse for no particular reason. She only just realized where she was going, but didn’t really care enough to wonder why or change her path.
When she got there, she nudged the door open slowly and was a little surprised to see Apple Bloom already inside. She stepped the rest of the way in and let the door swing shut behind her. “Hey, Apple Bloom,” she managed to say.
The little yellow earth pony didn’t look over from where she was putting some new wildflowers in the little vase they kept. “Hi there, Scootaloo!” she chirped happily, “Why do ya sound so sad?” Finally, she turned to look at her friend and instantly forgot the flowers. She galloped over as quickly as she could and put her hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Scootaloo?” she said, anxiously.
Tears leapt back into the grounded pegasus’ eyes and she lunged into her friend’s shoulder to cry in earnest, blubbering her crisis as Apple Bloom held her and stroked her back comfortingly.
Eventually, Scootaloo ran out of tears, but didn’t pull away from her friend. Right then, more than anything else, she just wanted somepony to hold her and tell her it would be ok, even though it never would.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Rainbow Dash touched down in front of Fluttershy’s cottage and knocked on the door.
Soon enough, her friend opened the door and smiled her general small smile. “Oh, hello, Rainbow Dash. What brings you here?” she greeted quietly.
The blue pegasus cleared her throat and responded, “Hey, Fluttershy. Can I come in for a bit?” The kind owner of the cottage nodded and backed away from the door to permit her friend’s entrance.
After she shut the door, Dash turned back around to ask carefully, “Fluttershy, what do you know about ‘underdeveloped’ wing muscles?”
Fluttershy frowned with concern. “Oh dear!” she said, “Did you find a baby bird? They usually don’t survive a fall.”
The demure pegasus’ words hit her like a ton of bricks, though she couldn’t exactly say why, and Rainbow Dash’s eyes welled up. Angrily, she dashed her foreleg across her eyes quickly.
Shocked, Fluttershy sat down in front of her friend, all ears. This particular pegasus didn’t cry over just anything, so what ever it was must be really bad. “Rainbow, what’s wrong?” she asked kindly, hoping she wasn’t prying.
She ran a hoof through her rainbow mane and sniffed. She answered with a shuddering breath, “It’s not a baby bird, Fluttershy. It’s Scootaloo.”
Fluttershy gasped and put a hoof over her mouth. Now it was her turn to have tears well up in her eyes. She said, “Oh no, Dash… She was so looking forward to flying with you though.”
Rainbow Dash bowed her head and nodded, “I know.”
“And, you’ve been her idol for so long,” she added.
Sadly, Rainbow could only say, “I know.”
“And, she wants to be an aerial ace just like you.”
A little irritably, she said again, “I know.”
“And, she’ll be the only pegasus around here who can’t fly! Oh, she is sure to get teased as school.”
“I KNOW!” Rainbow Dash roared angrily and slammed her hoof down on the floor of Fluttershy’s cottage. “You think I haven’t realized all of this? It’s all I can think about! For pegasus like us, our wings are everything before we can even use them right! She has been dreaming about flying since she was old enough to realize she even had wings, and now she never will! Arrgh!!” she yelled. Heated as she was, she was breathing heavily and gritting her teeth by the end of her tirade.
She finally noticed through her livid haze that Fluttershy had backed up and pinned her ears back in sadness and fear. Rainbow took a deep breath and looked into her friend’s eyes. Rage draining and leaving behind only sadness, she said, “I’m so sorry, Fluttershy. I didn’t mean to yell like that, especially at you. I just-,” she sighed, “I just don’t know what to do…” She hung her head again.
Fluttershy came to stand next to the grieving mare, wrapping her hoof and wing around her to pull her close. Being taller than her long-time friend, she easily laid her head down on top of hers and said quietly, “It’s ok, Rainbow Dash. I know you didn’t mean it. You just had to let some feelings out. I understand.” She stayed like that for a little while, then pulled away to look at her, eye to eye. “But, just think how Scootaloo must feel. You’ve got to do something to show her that everything will be ok. That you’ll still be there for her. You can’t give up, Rainbow Dash, because she will if you do. And we both know you aren’t the kind of pony to give up on anything,” she smiled comfortingly and knowingly to her.
Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy for a time. It was rare for her to say so much at once, so it made the blue pegasus take even more notice. She nodded once and thought for a few moments. Then a sudden idea struck her, and she leapt to her hooves, “I know what to do! Fluttershy, I need your help,” she asked excitedly.
Fluttershy nodded happily and said, “Of course, Dashie. Just tell me what to do.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sat at the table with a glass of juice each, not saying anything as each was in her own head.
At long last, Apple Bloom asked, “An’ tha doctor said there wasn’t nothin’ he could do?”
The little orange pegasus nudged her glass around the table distractedly and replied, “Yeah. Something about the muscles not being made right.” She sighed sadly.
“Huh,” the littlest Apple said, absentmindedly, “Bats don’t look like they got much muscle in their wings. Ah wonder how they do it…”
Scootaloo shrugged noncommittally, but answered, “I think they glide a little first.”
Suddenly, her eyes went wide and she bolted from the clubhouse without a word, leaving her juice glass spinning on the table.
Apple Bloom lurched forward to catch the glass and keep it from spilling, then yelled after her friend, “Scootaloo! Where in tarnation are you goin’?” She got no reply, but a creeping uneasiness started to settle around her. She couldn’t say exactly why, yet she knew beyond doubt that she had to tell Apple Jack.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Rainbow Dash smiled as she left the last pony she needed to see before she went to find Scootaloo again. ‘Heh,’ she thought, ‘That little filly is going to be so surprised when she sees what I got planned.’ She trotted through town happily. She had a little bit of time before she had to have her little friend in position, and she planned to use it to find her and give her a little one on one time.
Abruptly, she heard hoof beats coming up behind her fast. Curious, she looked to see the Apple sisters coming straight for her with concern on their faces. They slide to a stop in front of her, panting. Frowning, Rainbow asked, “Hey, guys, where’s the fire?”
Apple Jack looked around quickly, then huffed and replied, “Nowhere aroun’ here, I see. Rainbow, have you seen Scootaloo recently?”
“No, not since this morning,” she answered, worry seeping into her. Her ears went flat and she was almost scared to ask, “Why? What’s happened?”
The little filly with the bow gasped out, “We was at tha clubhouse talkin’ about what tha doctor said, and she said somethin’ ‘bout bats and how they start ta fly by glidin’, and then she jus’ lit out like she was bein’ chased.”
The blue pegasus only took moments to put two and two together, and the minute it hit her she felt sick. “Oh, this is so bad. This is bad, bad, oh this is bad,” she repeated, then got a hold of herself, “Don’t worry, I’ll find her. You two keep looking in town though. Maybe she’s still around here.” And, without further explanation, she blasted into the sky as fast as she could, heading for the rocky mountain area just outside Ponyville.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Scootaloo peered over the edge of the outcropping she was standing on. It seemed that she was pretty high up, but she wanted to be sure. She looked around, then snatched up a rock and tossed it over the edge. She tilted her head to listen for its impact, and was satisfied when it came a few seconds later. She surveyed the rest of the terrain to make sure it would help her flight. She had chosen a spot overlooking a valley just outside Ponyville, so she wouldn’t bounce off any rocks if this worked. She frowned and changed her thought to ‘when’ this worked. The little orange filly backed up a few feet and breathed for a little bit to collect herself.
Overhead, Rainbow Dash was relieved to have just caught sight of Scootaloo when she saw her ease down and brace for a run. Her heart almost stopped as Fluttershy’s words raced through her head.
“They usually don’t survive a fall.”
“NOOO!” she screamed, and rocketed downward as fast as she could, not giving much thought to her own safety.
Her teeth closed around Scootaloo’s tail just as the filly started to make her run, and she planted her feet solidly as her breathing raced and her heart pounded.
Scootaloo ran out of slack in her tail and slammed to the ground hard. She had been so focused on her jump that she hadn’t even noticed Rainbow Dash’s presence or heard her yell. “Rainbow Dash?” she asked confused, then got angry, “Let go of my tail, now!”
Through teeth gritted tight and a furious glare, she answered, “Not until you promise you aren’t going through with this insane stunt!”
Getting to her hooves, she strained and pulled against the older mare’s hold on her. “Yes…I…am!” she fired back as she did all she could to get away. She stopped for a second to catch her breath and added, “This is my only chance to fly!”
“Are you kidding me, you crazy little filly? You’re gonna fall like a rock!” Rainbow Dash returned, still holding on and braced as hard as she could be.
“No, I’m not! I’m gonna fly! And, if I don’t then it won’t matter anyway!” Scootaloo screamed back, renewing her efforts to get away but still not making any progress.
Anger flared through the older pegasus. She growled with intense ferocity and put all she had into heaving Scootaloo away from the precipice. She succeeded, and the filly’s feet slid out from underneath her, leaving her on her belly. Still moving fueled by rage, Rainbow Dash rapidly rolled her target over and planted a hoof solidly on her chest. She stared down at her as she squirmed and wriggled, trying to get away, and snarled, “Scootaloo! Are you even hearing yourself? ‘It doesn’t matter’? You can’t be in your right mind, right now! And it may not matter to you, but what about to the other ponies you matter to? What about Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle, and Babs Seed, and Fluttershy, and Me and Everypony!? What about them, huh?”
Scootaloo struggled and grunted through most of Rainbow’s speech, but as it ended she stopped fighting and the grunts turned into sobs, then gradually to all out tears, until she was looking at Rainbow Dash in defeat through her crying.
Sensing that the moment of danger was past, Dash removed her hoof from her little friend’s chest and sat back on her hind legs, gathering the weeping Scootaloo into her forelegs and clutching her close. She rocked them ever so gently. Just because she was normally the tough one, didn’t mean she didn’t know how to be comforting when the need arose.
Through her tears, Scootaloo got out, “I-I-I am s-so s-s-sorry, Ra-a-ainbow D-dash! I-I’m s-sorry!” She would have thought her body couldn’t have handled crying again today, but this was actually the hardest cry yet, her entire form shaking with the force of it.
“Shhhhh…shhhh…It’s gonna be alright, Scootaloo. I swear it will,” the weather pony said soothingly. She repeated herself until she felt the filly begin to slow down and regain composure, then she loosened her hold and held her out in front of her. She brought her own hoof up to wipe away the last of the little pegasus’ tears, and smiled warmly at her. “Hey, kid. Are you ready to go back home now?” she asked.
Scootaloo sniffed a few times, but smiled gratefully back to her hero and nodded. She lunged forward and grabbed her in a tight hug, saying, “Thanks, Rainbow Dash.”
The blue pegasus returned the hug and answered, “No problem, kiddo.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Back in Ponyville again, Rainbow Dash set Scootaloo down in front of Apple Jack and Apple Bloom. The two younger ponies rushed into a hug, and Rainbow nudged AJ, saying cockily, “Told you, I’d find her.” Apple Jack just rolled her eyes, but smiled all the same.
Having seen the pair in flight, Fluttershy had followed and approached the group now. She coughed a little to get their attention, then said, “We’re ready for you now, Dash.” She tried to wink conspiratorially, but her shy smile kind of took away from the sly element of it.
The fastest flyer in Ponyville nodded and said, “C’mon, Scootaloo. We’ve got a surprise.”
Curious and happy, the little filly fell into step beside the pony who had become like her big sister, Fluttershy taking up position on her other side.
They led her to the center of town, where she was surprised to see an assembly of some kind taking place. As they drew near, other ponies prodded each other and moved to the side, giving them a clear path to the outdoor stage. Scootaloo gradually realized all of the ponies present were pegasi, and they were smiling at her, some with encouragement and some with generally soft, understanding smiles. Unsure, the filly looked at Rainbow and asked, “What’s going on?”
Rainbow Dash smirked and said, “Oh, you’ll see!” causing Fluttershy to chuckle quietly.
They finally reached the stage where Mayor Mare was perched behind the podium, the only non-pegasus she had seen. The Mayor smiled down at her and said, “Scootaloo, would you please join me up on the stage?”
She nodded and made her way to stand next to the podium, confused but willing if Rainbow Dash had set this up for her.
The official earth pony put a hoof on the filly’s shoulder and addressed the assembly. “I want to thank all of you ponies for coming,” she began. “As you all know, our dear Scootaloo received some bad news this morning. Her friends, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy explained this to me, and we agreed that something should be done to show our support for her,” she paused and glanced at the little one beside her, then continued, “As such, I have an announcement to make. As of this time today until this time tomorrow, I hereby declare Ponyville a ‘No Fly Zone’.”
The gathered pegasi stamped their hooves and yelled their delight, and Scootaloo looked at them all in bewilderment and gratitude. Finally, she smiled at them and said, “Thank you,” though no pony could hear her over the din. Her grin gradually broadened and she became confident enough to wave at her friends and neighbors.
Eventually, the racket began to die down and the Mayor added, “Of course, our weather will still need to be attended to, so this restriction does not apply to two ponies. Rainbow Dash, would you care to explain the rest?”
Scootaloo took her gaze from crowd in time to see the Mayor surrender the podium and Dash approach her with a smile.
“How would you like to clear the clouds with me tomorrow?” she asked, grinning confidently at the pony at the center of everypony’s attention.
Gasping in happy surprise, Scootaloo said quickly, “I’d love too!” Then, frowned and said, “But, how?”
Still grinning, Rainbow Dash reached under the podium, saying, “With this!” and pulled out a flying harness very similar to the one Tank wore, but larger and fitted for a pony just Scootaloo’s size.
Unable to hide her excitement, Scootaloo giggled and jumped up and down saying, “Yes! Yay! Ah! Rainbow Dash, this is awesome! Can you teach me how to use it?” She was eager to get going as soon as they could.
The rainbow hared mare laughed a little and said, “Honestly, kiddo, I don’t know. Guess we’ll have to find out together.” Now beaming, she produced another flying harness in her size, much to Scootaloo’s obvious delight.
Fiddling with the buckles on it, she managed to get it on and nodded a thank you to the Mayor, who had helped her little filly friend into hers. They were both hovering just a little above the stage floor now, and Rainbow Dash turned to address the assembly. “Thanks for coming, you guys,” she said, then swiveled to look at Scootaloo, “But we’ve got some flying to do. Let’s go, kiddo!” She kicked off the stage and zipped into the sky, and her little sister followed suit.
As she rose into the clouds on her own for the first time, with the sound of the cheering pegasi following her up, Scootaloo realized that flying would be even better than she had always dreamed. Especially as long as Rainbow Dash was with her.
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Hooray for Scootalove.
Say it with me now.....
D'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
The feels, man, the feels.
And of course, the end was
Brings tears to the eyes! (Manly tears indead...)
Makes me wanna....wanna....
Great story indeed
Thanks, guys! I really appreciate the feedback. Let's me know if I'm on the right track or not.
Not bad.
Not bad at all.
Though, the story line is interesting, I feel like the whole 'No Fly Zone' thing is kinda crazy. A little
harshdrastic, isn't it?Nonetheless, good job.
Here, have a somewhat related song
2214472 I would disagree. It's simply asking the Pegasi to keep their hooves on the ground for 24 hrs to show support. It's not every year or anything, just this one day of support and so maybe some of the younger ones will remember what it's like and not tease her because she can't fly on her own.
Lol, admittedly I may have taken your question as an actual question instead of a rhetorical one, though.
Of course, you are entitled to your opinion. I just enjoy discussing things I read or write.
I enjoyed that song, by the by. Thank you. I liked the music better than the lyrics, especially the part that sounded like cars honking at each other but musically. I thought that was unique.
OMG THE FEELS
I love this story.
Nice story. It was well written and had its share of heartfelt moments. I liked the ending quite a bit. Keep up the great writing!
poor baby i no how it feels
but shes mine and rainbow's aingle
This gave me such intense Scootaloo feelings.
2217966 Heh, thanks. I appreciate it.
2237331 I will most certainly try. Thank you very much!
2269671
2588915 Thank you much. That's exactly what I was a-going for.
2634252
the story is awesome.... but as soon as the mayor said the words "no fly zone" i got thrown out of the "reading a great story zone" i was in. really? the problem scoots had with not being able to fly was resolved with a device similar to what tank uses. the idea of a no fly zone seemed really fucking stupid to me, especially if there are apparently devices that allow flight for disabled ponies.
since i like the story, but the "no fly zone" crap threw my good mood and being in my "reading a great story zone": i cant even rate this story. i cant like it because of this stupid thing, but i cant dislike it because the rest of the story was good. and im not someone that nit-picks...... this was something that actually bugged me...... and i've read inconsistent stories like cupcakes (missing limbs and still concous after almost an hour) (come the fuck on) (i had one cut from a fucking power saw and that shit knocked me out from bloodloss in less than an hour and your telling me that a small cartoon horse can stay awake with multiple injuries) and those plot holes didn't bug me in the least.
at that same note: this story is still going into my favorites list.
3606483 I'm glad you loved what you did. I do hate that I threw you out of the story, though. Allow me to explain my choice?
First of all, since we see no other ponies with this device, I had intended for it to be seen as a one of a kind thing specially modified based on Tank's, not something anypony could get.
Let me make an analogy: A person with a wheelchair would still pine to walk, even if they got around alright enough, yes? So it is with Scootaloo's flight harness.
I thought a 24 hour no flying zone was not too much to ask to show a Pegasus filly that she had support among her own kind. A little something she could think back on when bullies like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon come around, you know?
I'm glad you liked what you did, and of course you are allowed your own opinions. I just hoped to explain my creative choices a bit. :) Thank you for your favorite!
3636997
Wow. Just wow. This story was amazing! The best part, I think, was the realism of Scootaloo's emotions when she was about to try to fly. From angry and defiant to crying and apologizing... I think a lot of people have had their emotions transition like that.
Also, I think that the complaint people had with the "No-Fly Zone" was that they missed this part of the sentence: "As of this time today until this time tomorrow"
At least that's how it was for me. I initially missed that as well, and thought it was awfully drastic. But after you mentioned it only being for 24 hours in the comments, I went up to see if I'd missed anything, and I had. Now that I understand, it's definitely a nice gesture and way of showing support, and a great way to end a great story.
awwwwwwwwwwwww that's so cute i really love this
A cuteness smile, a long and sorrowful frown, shock-widened eyes and an ear-to-ear smile.
Well done, mate.
Oh. Still, I did notice a few mistakes.
Never leave without your helmet.
Underdeveloped muscles, you say? My headcanon for Bulk Biceps is that his love of lifting stems from the extensive strength training it took to get him flying despite being even more poorly endowed than Scootaloo.
3636997
That's just it - one would expect that if Scootaloo isn't the only flightless pegasus out there, somepony would be working on a solution that anypony could get. Though with Scootaloo's own mechanical skill, she could very well grow up to be that somepony.
Though maybe she just happens to be the only one in Ponyville - at least one or two other stories have suggested that her condition is so rare as to get the short end of the stick with respect to medical research.