• Member Since 4th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 26th, 2017

Watchpaw


E
Source

Based on the song 'I am Octavia' by ElieMonty and Nowacking. You can read this without hearing the song, but I strongly suggest listening to it because it's just beautiful and it'll give you a little more background for the story.
I am Octavia <--link for your convenience.
Octavia has had enough. Enough of the selfishness, enough of the hurt, and...maybe enough of Vinyl Scratch. After telling her she was going to miss her concert, again, the earth pony calls their friendship off. Now, it's up to DJ Pon3 to let her best friend go or fight tooth and hoof for their friendship. But with everything getting in her way, will she be able to make it? Or is one of them going to need a new place to call home?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 70 )

Was the first work you've published? Either you're an amazing writer or I'm a shitty one. I've never been able to bring my stuff to life like that. I'm definitely following you.

2347833 You can't possibly know how much that means to me. Being able to get in character and impart what I see to my readers is my number one goal. Thank you very, very much. :eeyup:
But to answer your question, no. This is actually my second story to post here. I also have four others (Teen Titans fiction) that have been posted to fanfiction.net under the pen name 'Brown Tyto', if you are interested.
I hope I live up to your, and all my readers', expectations. And thank you for the follow. :raritywink:

P.S. If I may offer a bit of advice, have you tried writing in the third person? Oddly enough, I find it much easier to connect with how a character is feeling and what they are doing when I feel like I'm watching them actually do it.

2348101 I find that each genre needs a different view on it if you're going to make the most of a story.
My opinions:
-Sad/tragedy- 1st (I just love the few 1st person sad stories I've read)
-Avdenture/Romantic (the real one, not the 'lover' one)- 3rd (either one depending on preference)
- And just (in most cases) to have something funny and engaging- 2nd

And I'm done.

2348101 No, me and third person have never gotten along well. There are moments when I try to write third person, but I keep slipping into first. I personally can get into the characters head, but I have a hard time getting the audience to connect like I do.

Anyways, hope to see more of your work!

2348575 Hmm. Interesting. I will give that some thought. I personally am most comfortable with third person, but thank you for your input.

2349063 Ah, ok. Well, just keep trying and I'm sure you'll get there. Thank you!

I really liked this. :yay:

WOW I heard this song a few days ago and thought: Hay, this would make an awesome fic, i wonder if anyone will make it into anything?

Anyhow, i was scrolling through 'sad' and saw this and was like I MUST READ THIS! it is actually really good, congrats!

have a thumbs up!

2355510 Thank you very much! I'm just glad everypony seems to enjoy it. :pinkiesmile:

The effect of the song to my mind and soul have been doubled because of this. You are a good person for making me have intense feels.:pinkiehappy:

THANK YOU for writing this my mind could not and would not stop thinking about if their relationship would end thank you :pinkiehappy:

Now I have closure to this depressing song it was a great read thank you my good friend

2397287 Heh, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, and it gave you the feels.

2403475 Oh, don't I know it, lol! That thing was fighting so hard for me to write it, I couldn't think of much else. Not a good thing when you're in the middle of a semester of Organic Chemistry 2, heh.

2404252 Ah, and thank you for reading! I am glad you enjoyed it. *humble bow*

This is so very fitting...:pinkiehappy:
I like this.:twilightsmile:
Excellent work, dear Author!:fluttershysad:

i absolutely loved this story cause i can actually relate to Vinyl Scratch i mean Vinyl likes techno and Octavia likes classical music it's just like me and my best friend he asks me if i wanted to hang out but i am always busy with other plans i also say i will make it but i never do. yeah this story really did make me shed a lot of tears. so yeah i know how Vinyl Scratch feels:fluttershysad:

2426148 And, thank you for reading dear...reader. :twilightsheepish:

2445755 Thanks. I actually feel more like Octavia in this, myself. I am usually the one to get canceled on.

Gaaah! I had my own idea for this, but damn, you did good! Nice!

So full of yes! Good work on this.

2471493 Heh, thanks. I hope I didn't stop you from writing your own thing, but I am glad you liked mine.

2472760 :pinkiehappy: Thanks!

2481058 :twilightblush: Aw, shucks. Thanks for reading.

I just want to say thanks to everypony who likes, or thumbs ups, or favorites, or even just reads. It makes me happy to have it out there, but it makes me ecstatic to know it's liked. You guys rock! :ajsmug:

this is outstanding, i love it:rainbowkiss:

Ohhhh, thank you so much. I was really broken after the song and needed some closure. Thank you for doing this

Thanks~ after i heard the song i was so heartbroken :fluttershyouch:

This is so beautiful and captures every moment so well, also Tavi's personality fits perfectly :heart:

I need to say something. It is 1am, and I just read this and the original story(with the song too, first time listening) and.. GAAAH. Too many feels. I have too many feels right now and I'm supposed to be sleeping. I just want to say you sir, are a great writer. This was amazing. Usually, I don't find sad fics very.. sad, I'm sorta immune to things like that but THIS. THIS HERE.

I'll be honest, I had almost as much feels as I did with The Walking Dead game, and I finished both fics in like 15 minutes. Good music paired with a good story tends to do that to me...

Basically, I thought this story was too good and felt the need to make a comment about it. Write on, brother!

so glad you wrote this, was hoping someone would make a fic to follow up on that song as soon as it came out. this story is great.

2549432 Thank you very much! :pinkiesmile:

2552514 Lol, I was the same way. Which is why this thing even exists. My brain went, "No! We must figure this out. Then! We share it with...The World!" My brain can be a little dramatic sometimes, heh.

2562337 That bit about Tavi's personality is one of the better compliments I've gotten on this. I work really hard to try to figure out how a certain character will act because I want to stay as true to that as I possibly can. Thank you very much.

2569699 I got close to Walking Dead game feels? :rainbowderp: Wow! That makes me really happy. I am very glad you enjoyed it so much. Which two fics are you talking about though? I am having trouble with what you mean by 'the original story'. (Also, I am a chick. S'all good though. :ajsmug:)

2581624 Thank you so much. I was compelled to write it upon my first hearing the song.

2587314

Ah, there was another fic like this, based off the song. Link here. Thought you based this off that one, it was basically the song's lyrics with Octavia's thoughts as she's playing the song. And this, being a full-fledged fic, I thought this was sort of your own remake or something of that specific one :derpytongue2:

Oh, and sorry about the gender thing! I tend to do that sometimes. Most of the time. ...All the time. So, lemme rephrase that, write on sister! :pinkiehappy:

2587354 Ah, ok. I couldn't make up my mind if you were referring to somepony else's creation or one of my other ones. Cool, cool. Lol, no worries. I have to actively think about being gender neutral or I assume all are female. No problem, bro. *brohoof*

I was going to make a story of it too! And i was going to make it the best one ever......
I have been beaten :scootangel:

Comment posted by IceQB deleted May 21st, 2013

i see someone posted my story down below... that explained the sudden spike in views.... like you, im working on a sequel xD check it out if you will kindly do so :)

2598995 Aw, heh, thanks. If you write it anyway, I'd love to read it. Just send me a little word.

2608548 I will read yours soon. Well, at the least I hope to. :twilightsheepish: I am actually not working on a sequel to this particular situation. I feel like I told the story I wanted to with this, although I do make a quick reference to one of the extra characters in my other fic, Nightmares and Tea. My author's note just meant that I find these two inspiring and I have plans to work with them often in the future.

I am continuously astounded by the great fan-music that is made for these characters. I am looking forward to reading more stories by you in the future. Keep up the great writing!

You just brightened up my day with this little fic of yours. :pinkiesad2: I heard the song for the first time earlier today, which got me depressed, and just found this. Thank you for being so awesome.

That was awesome! Just as moving as the song! Are you going to write more song-based fics?

someone's on the popular page :3 im jelly xD

your a great writer which makes this kinda akward cause i enjoyed your writing style and everything....

stories like these make me sick,:twilightangry2: vinyl goes to jail, octavia ignores her call, octavia finds out later, octavia goes and gets her out, VINYL apoligizes, octavia RELUCTANTLY forgives her:twilightangry2: vinyl learns her lesson, and everyones happy.

never once is it expect of octavia to apologize, learn a lesson, pay for her own actions in some way contrary to a incredibly brief moment of guilt.

lets review okay so vinyl missed/blew off octavias shows and octavia is pissed i get this. but if anyone paid attention to what vinyl said in this instance she was working. vinyl baled on her job for octavias this alone should gain her the smallest ounce of credit considering the fact that octavia acted as a coward breaking there friendship off over the phone rather then waiting and at least confronting her in person. octavia acted like a coward and used emotional blackmail to make vinyl bale on her job to get to octavias show, vinyl couldn't get in, she very likely went to jail for the fight she started, like this isn't going to negatively impact her career?

but yet every afterward fic that come up has been 'vinyl bad friend octavia good friend.' just once i'd like to see some level ground here not all these one sided stories.

The most memorable character in the song was Neon Lights:pinkiesmile:

I think that when Vinyl ran off; leaving Neon, he just smiled and waved his hands goodbye, clearly oblivious to the problem.

2679485 Me too! Thank you very much.

3003114 :twilightsmile: Thanks! I had a similar reaction, which prompted me to write this. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

3004034 Wow, thanks! That's what I was hoping for. Hmm...I dunno. I'd like to, but I need the muses to whack me on the head and get me going first.

3004875:rainbowderp: Really?! I was? :pinkiehappy: Yay! I'm so excited!

3004929 Heh, thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed my writing if nothing else. To be clear, as I don't know that it came out in my writing, I don't think Vinyl is a bad friend at all. She just needed a bit of a reminder. Seeing as this was inspired by the song though, I couldn't very well twist the situation. That being said, I really don't feel that it was Octavia's place to apologize. One can assume, since this was a scheduled event that Vinyl agreed to go to, that working with Neon Lights was more of a spur of the moment kind of thing than something that was previously established. And, if it were, then it is most definitely Vinyl's place to tell Octavia that she had to work that night. Also, you get the feeling, from the beginning of the song, that this is, like, the millionth time that Vinyl has backed out on Octy, not a first offense that she flies off the handle at. Having been on Octavia's side of the situation more times than I can count, I completely understand her position. I will agree that the phone is no way to do this kind of thing, but I got the feeling that this was what I like to call a "Bonzai! Moment". You know, one of those times when it's "Go now or never"? Sometimes that moment has to be seized for the greater good. As for Vinyl leaving her job, Octy had no way to know that, and refusing her call when she had good reason to expect nothing but pleas and apologizes is understandable too. I think if Vinyl is upfront about why she ended up in jail, the greater pony populous will understand. As for one-sided stories, and if I may be so bold, may I direct you to my other story, "Nightmares and Tea"? It puts them on much more level ground. And, I would like to write one where Octy is clearly in the wrong some time, if for no other reason than I think it might be fun.
Thank you for your opinions. :twilightsmile: I really love discussion with others, and I do think you brought up a few interesting things that I had to consider further.

3005269 Lol! That's an interesting stance. Personally, I really enjoyed developing Java Bean as a character. She may be a recurring pony in my stories. :raritywink:

3007473

Something to whack you over the head with? Well, here you go!

3007473 You were for a brief moment :3

3007473

I mean, Neon Lights is a tad underrated.:applejackunsure:

Truly a great piece of work. Thanks for someone making an aftermath to this absolutely amazing song. There are no words to describe all of my feelings for this piece.

me too 'bout the song, but for me a made a slideshow for it. Your fanfic was awesome though, great sequel to the song.

3007586 I'm actually not as up on the Sweetiebot thing as I should be, but I may come back to this if I ever do get caught up. Thanks for the suggestion.

3010374 Hmm...Perhaps. I kinda saw him as miffed, but understanding. Like, she dashed out of the room and as he was shaking his head in frustration, he caught sight of her bag, rolled his eyes, then whistled to her from the window saying something like, "Hey, Girl! Don't forget your stuff!" As he tossed it down. I mean, if he's got any kind of feeling radar at all, he'd have known something was wrong with his friend/co-worker.

3044201 Heh, thanks for reading. :twilightblush: And, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

3122619 Thank you much! So glad you liked reading it. :pinkiesmile:

3155544

But wouldn't it be slightly fitting?

Wait... don't answer that. I don't want myself inflicting myself for stupidity

3159181 Heh, no, no. You are entitled to your opinion of course. I mean, that's just how I see it. If he was absorbed in the music or something like that, I could see it the way you proposed as well. I did have a friend that was notoriously bad at reading people and I can tell you beyond a doubt that if she were in the same situation she wouldn't have picked it up either. She'd have just went, "Ok, see you later!" and went back to whatever she was doing. I guess it boils down to what kind of pony you perceive Neon to be. :) Thanks for the conversation, btw. I truly love discussing character and other story elements with others. You made me really consider Neon's element in all this, and its making my gears turn. I love that!

3159709

Making me think of more insane stuff, I LOVE THAT!

Thank you for a wonderful ending hope both you and Ellemonte both bring out more:pinkiehappy:

I really love that song despite how sad it ends but after reading this it makes it that much better. Great job :ajsmug:

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