• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen April 12th

Chowatron


T

“to save succeeding generations from the scourge of war… to reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person, in the equal rights of men and women and of nations large and small… to establish conditions under which justice and respect for… treaties and other sources of international law can be maintained…to promote social progress and better standards of life…” – United Nations mission statement
A soldier, a linguist and a doctor. Three men that normally would walk past one another are forced to meet as they find themselves on a strange new planet. Now they must co-operate to not only find a way back home but to establish their organisation with whatever resources they can acquire.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 8 )

Next time, I'd recommend waiting until your story is actually accepted before adding it to groups.

Alright I read it, and you just stomped on one of the biggest HIE mines known to fimfiction.

I got another comment where I did this, and I will quote it now.

I'll say this right now.

DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE MAKE THEM TRUST THE PONIES IMMEDIATELY, IN ANY WAY, MUCH LESS AFTER THAT TREAT THEY SAID AGAINST THEM! MOUNTHS BEFORE THEY EVEN STARTS TO COOPERATE WITH THEM, DAMMIT!!!

You know smart people? they last a while to even begin to trust OTHER PEOPLE, don't you dare make them give their story to recently meet colorful midget horses.

I want you to understand, this story has a LOT of potencial, don't ruin it by imposible trusting foundations. And for what i've seen so far, I can trust you will do this the right way.

[img] http://prayinghisword.com/sites/default/files/hands%20praying.jpg[/img]

I would like to ask of you that PLEASE!!! Don't do as most authors do:

Twilight: I got so many questions! About your biology, technology, history and anything related to you in every way.

Random Human: Sure I'll tell you, different species entirely that has proven hostile recently and says that are not hostile in any way and would like to be friends.*All in one breath* Ask away.

GIVE TECHNOLOGY OR SHOW IT TO A UNKNOWN RACE!!!
HISTORY LESSONS OF YOUR SPECIES!!!!
IMMEDIATELY AFTER A LITTLE QUESTIONING BY ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY!!
DON'T, JUST F-ING DON'T!!!!!

But of course you already passed that point so I'll say it now, I will stop reading here, If the plot doesn't make sense, it hurt's he, and this made little sense and it hurted me.

I mean he gave them their total history, total retail of everything!

That's where I back away and leave.

2444444
I didn’t think it came across as, “First, you need some Uranium-235…” None of the characters are soldiers that can only give name, rank and serial number.
I believe giving everyone trust issues would disadvantage the story I’m trying to tell. Thanks for reading and commenting, I’m sorry you didn’t like it.

2444662

Not much like trust issues, but the giving all the knowledge of everything they know in one go, irks me to no end.

2444671
I actually do have scene written down a few chapters down (yay for out of sequence writing), where the three all berate each other about things they have revealed. They then realise they have to set down ground rules for future introductions.
I have acknowledged it, I just didn’t think it would be a make or break factor. Once again I’m sorry it wasn’t for you.

2444709

I will never stop reding any story I begin to read. But I don't think you'll see me comment often.

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