//------------------------------// // Peace meets Harmony // Story: Unintended Envoy // by Chowatron //------------------------------// Unintended Envoy Chapter 2: Peace meets Harmony Thomas changed the frequency on his radio handset back to its default and breathed a sigh of defeat. He threw himself backwards onto the bed he was sitting on. He had tried to broadcast on just under half the frequencies he could. He got no response from any. Each failed attempt got him progressively more irritated, until that last one. It was then the reality, the permanence, of his predicament hit. The sound of a whirlpool could be heard from the next room. Less than a minute later Miles exited the adjoining bathroom. Thomas heard him say something, likely on Equestrian plumbing. He gave an ‘uh huh’ in response. “Chin up; that’s what my dad always said to me. Never took a word of his advice and I turned out fine: not the best I could be, but fine.” This did little to alleviate the mood. “When I was young I used to be into this type of thing, unicorns and stuff.” “Didn’t you think that was…” Thomas tried to ask. “No. I liked what I liked; I didn’t care that much about what others thought. It wasn’t a strategy that won me many friends as I went through school, but...” “Wait, when you say young,” Thomas said, his voice taking on a more neutral tone, instead of the depressed one from before. Mile’s plan was working. “How old are we talking?” “I’m talking fourteen, maybe fifteen.” “Well, that’s all good for you then.” Thomas laughed. “What about me? I’ve got friends, family, a life.” Miles remained calm; he wanted to retort back. Did he think he didn’t have those things? Getting annoyed never helped. “This probably is only temporary. Maybe you’re in coma right now, or your mind has snapped from stress. Even if we really are in this ‘Equestria’ we can find a way back.” Thomas pushed himself off his back and glowered at Miles, making eye contact for the first point in their conversation. “How long then? A week? A month? A year? I can’t just walk on back to my old life after that long. What do I say to everyone when people ask me where I’ve been? I can’t think of any lie that can justify disappearing like that, can you? But I can’t just tell the truth now, can I?” Thomas paused to collect himself for the next part of his rant. Miles seized the opportunity to calm him. “Stop!” Once Miles’s loud outburst had Thomas’s attention, he carried on in a more normal voice. “You’re overthinking this. Don’t let pressure get to you.” Miles thought of an idea to bring Thomas back to himself. “Hypothetical situation: someone walks through that door right there, they have a gun, what do you do?” “I would…I would attempt to talk them down or try and get close enough to disarm them. If I couldn’t and they seem like they are a threat to human life, I’d have to shoot them. Centre mass.” “So you would try to control the situation? That’s exactly what you need to do here. Be on top yourself.” Thomas rose from the bed. He ran his hands over his face and let out a deep breath. “You’re right. Thanks for that. It’s just that…” “It’s my job. And try not to think about it. ” Miles said walking over to Thomas to give him a friendly hug. “That’s a little too far.” Thomas said, reaching to pull Miles off of him. --- “So you can control the weather?” I asked. From what I could tell Equestria was a geocentric system, as weird as it sounds. The solar system was there specifically for the planet, the sun and moon were manipulated by the inhabitants. I’m not even going to try to fully comprehend how the whole thing works; that was after just a few questions. The theory of creationism now resonates inside me more than before. “You don’t?” Lyra asked, inadvertently answering my question. I gave a simple no in response and she went on to ask, “Then how do you deal with bad weather?” “Good question. Since we have no control we just try to predict it. The weather is not just sudden. You can tell if it will rain from looking at the thickness and colour of the clouds. Things like hurricanes and earthquakes take more than simple observation though. You sure you know your way to the room?” I stopped to ask Lyra. “Of course I do” Lyra scoffed, “it’s just a few doors down.” Trusting her, I set off again. I noticed that she had to put some effort to keep up with my fast strides, so I slowed. Why didn’t she mention it? --- Upon receiving the letter from the princess requesting her and her friend’s presence as soon as possible, Twilight Sparkle was quick to inform everypony of the situation. The letter had no mention of what Celestia wished to speak about. This allowed Twilight’s rather active imagination to fill in the blanks. They departed as soon as their daily duties allowed. After a rather slow and uneventful train ride - on which Twilight rather ironically read a book on time dilation - the steam locomotive had reached the city of Canterlot and the alicorn and her friends disembarked. “I ain’t to sure about jus’ leaving on such short notice.” An orange earth pony voiced her concerns. “Well, I for one am always happy to take a trip to Canterlot for a few days.” An ivory unicorn remarked. “Even I need a break from being awesome. Sometimes.” A cyan Pegasus said, casually flying alongside. “This is a business trip first. The letter made it sound important.” Twilight made clear. “Don’t worry Twilight. We can put the fun on hold for a little while, right?” A pink earth pony asked. Pinkie, ever the optimist, probably thought this visit would be a surprise party. A lot of her tangible thoughts led to parties, or equally juvenile things; one of her most admirable traits. The group let out a chorus of affirmatives. They carried on walking on towards through Canterlot, surprisingly turning few heads. They were known across Equestria, and each of the six had their own reaction to that. But it seemed a gossip had taken attention away from the fact that there was a group, who could be considered national heroes, walking down the streets. They mentioned something to do with unidentified creatures being spotted in the vicinity of Canterlot. This did nought but fuel Twilight’s worry. The guards let them through with no issues. They actually doubted they had the authority to stop them. --- After chatting for a while, a guard showed up to the room. I couldn’t understand what they said, but I assumed it to be a summons from one of the princesses. I nodded before turning to face Lyra. “I guess that this is important, so I don’t know. I’ll see you around, I guess.” I said. As I spoke I saw a sudden drop in her enthusiasm, I made a move in order to remedy that. “You got any way I can contact you? I’m used to exchanging phone numbers or emails. Do you have an address I can write to?” She nodded in response. I pulled out my phone and opened a memo, my fingers glazed over the on-screen keyboard. We were led back to the hall where we had first met Celestia. She was stood waiting idly, with an air of expectance around her. “Your turnaround is pretty fast.” I spoke first. “I’m going need you to get closer together.” Celestia chose to ignore my statement. Not that there was much to say on the subject. I relayed the request and they complied. A familiar glow encompassed Celestia’s horn. This time there was no disorientation, just a euphoric sensation. Then thoughts began to enter my mind; thoughts that were not my own. They soon began to solidify into memories. I had just learnt the basis of an entire language in a matter of seconds. It was so easy that I almost felt I had wasted years of my life. “English and Equestrian and I can’t think of the right words, that normal?” Thomas said. His language was fluctuating between English and Equestrian. He seemed to be off balance, much like how I felt upon my first interaction with magic. “It should subside shortly. It is just an unfortunate side effect; for non-linguists it can be too much to process at once.” Celestia explained. “Now, I do believe we are long overdue a formal introduction. You already know my name and role, may I ask for yours?” Thomas was about to introduce himself, but I raised my hand for him to stop. I wasn’t ready for him to screw up a first impression by brashly introducing himself in a mixed cocktail of languages. I managed to formulate a reasonable introduction. “I’m Erik Klein. I’m an interpreter for the United Nations; that would make me their highest ranking diplomatic authority present, by virtue of experience.” I said, making my position clear. I had no real experience as a diplomat myself, but I had spent a great deal of time echoing them. This meant at the least, I had the theory down. I lowered my hand signalling for the others to introduce themselves, hopefully in keeping with the standard I had set. “Doctor Benjamin Miles,” He raised a hand in greeting. ”Psychiatrist. It’s a pleasure.” “Thomas Beckman. Security officer,” He motioned to the insignia on the shoulder of his shirt. “That’s a bit of a give away.” Thomas was surprisingly quite polite; my fears were unfounded. An aching in my stomach reminded me of something quite important. “May I suggest that we eat first? I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning, and I’m starting to feel it.” Celestia looked us over, Thomas agreed with me, and Miles apparently ate lunch. “We can.” Celestia stated. Her face then furrowed a little. “I’m unsure as to your dietary requirements, so I think it’s best to inform you we don’t have any meats.” “I’ve got something quite simple in mind; you should have it.” I said. “I can live without it.” Miles said. “Without protein? Let me know how that turns out.” Thomas retorted. We made our way through to a dining area. It was a long and there was, as expected, a long table dominated the centre of the room. It was covered by a mauve table linen. On the walls there were various paintings, mostly landscapes, but a few were portraits. I’m not sure if I was supposed to have known who they were. “It might sound a little odd, but may I have a bowl of boiling water?” I got a few weird looks shot at me . “I’ll just have some salad.” Miles said after a while, probably thinking through what to say first. I can’t imagine why people would consider a salad a meal. It wasn’t bad as starter or a side dish, but in my opinion it doesn’t quantify as a meal. “If you have something pastry (pasta-ary? Pasta-ee? Feels weird writing that down).” Thomas said. Now pasta was something more my speed; couple some pasta with a baked potato and you have one of the best meals around. If only I could make myself some of that right now. “I think I’ll go for a salad also.” Celestia said. The pony nodded and took their leave. “While we wait, perhaps you could tell me about yourselves.” “Sorry if I lose enthusiasm at parts; I’ve done this once already today.” I then began to recount my life. My own voice sounded progressively more flat and dry. --- “Our princess, Celestia, is currently entertaining guests. I’m afraid I have to ask you leave or remain patient.” The guard pony recited from his mental list of predetermined responses. This irked Twilight slightly; being held up like this was one of the lesser joys of visiting her mentor. “It is by her request that we are here.” “I’m going to go verify that; can you remain here?” The guard didn’t wait for an answer before leaving. “Why does everything take so long with them? I still don’t know why they searched us for weapons, where would I keep it?” Rainbow put her hooves in the air and did a little spin to highlight the fact she was wearing no clothes under which to hide anything. “Up my…” She let out a breath, her frustration vented. “They’re just doing their job, Rainbow dear.” “Well shouldn’t they be, I don’t know, protecting Equestria or something?” “There isn’t anything for them to protect Equestria from. It’s internationally recognised as a neutral country.” Twilight stated. World politics wasn’t her favoured subject, but she was determined to know at least something about everything. “Nopony can be that stuck-up serious all the time.” They then waited in silence until, a little under a minute later; Celestia came out of the door. They all acknowledged this and greeted her in their own way. Twilight was going to say something, but Celestia cut her off. “Hello everypony.” Celestia saw that Twilight was leaning forward slightly, poised to ask a question. “I’m not sure what you have heard; I’m fairly sure something will have escaped these walls. Equestria has encountered a never seen before species.” This sparked a series of questions. Where do they come from? Are they intelligent? What do they look like? They don’t eat ponies…do they? Are they friendly? Have they had a proper welcome? “Don’t worry: they’re sapient, and not aggressive; I would advise you don’t offend them though. They look to be highly evolved primates. They say they are a part of an international organisation. Of another planet.” There were few ponies who could admit to having met extra-terrestrials and be taken as serious. “I’m sure I’ve raised more questions, but it is best to ask them yourselves.” --- In a true joke at my expense by fate, as the dishes were being served, Celestia was called away. I remember Lyra mentioning the elements of harmony; powerful magical artefacts bound to only certain individuals. No wonder she didn’t protest us having weapons; we would never be able to get away with using them. Common etiquette dictated I wait until she was present: I wouldn’t abandon manners in front of a foreign leader. I noticed Miles, who was sitting across from me, was waiting also. “I’m not stopping you from starting.” I told him. “I know. But I have the willpower to wait, unlike another individual.” Miles directed his last comment towards Thomas, who had already, begun to consume his pasta at a steady speed. “It’s not that I lack it.” Thomas replied. “Food just comes before manners (I’m glad I wrote that life changing mantra down).” Thomas then addressed me, “What is with the water anyway? I doubt you’re going to drink it.” “Good question.” I said, reaching into my left pocket and pulling something out. “Instant Noodles.” I announced, lifting the foil coated wonder high enough to be seen. “This was going to be my lunch yesterday, but I was busy, so I promoted them to dinner. And you know how that turned out.” I tore open the aluminium foil and dropped the dried noodles into the boiling water. It made a splash, but not one large enough to escape the bowl. “Wouldn’t aluminum be worth a fair price here?” Thomas asked. It was a good point, but I think the quantity would be lacking. “Aluminium.” Miles chimed in. “Two to one: looks like the vowel sticks.” I said, twirling the noodles in the bowl with my fork. ”Good Idea though.” The noodles looked about ready now so I set down the fork. As I did this Celestia returned, or at least that’s who I assumed it to be. Turning around I saw her with six others. They looked at us, unsure how to proceed. I decided to just accept this to be a staple of future introductions and break the ice. “I might look at little strange, but I’m quite urbane.” This seemed to loosen them up some. “There are plenty of seats.” Miles stated. They seemed to accept this offer and sat at the table. The number six divides quite nicely into three to make for two each. “Hi my name’s Pinkie Pie, what’s yours?” Thomas was the first to be subjected. “Thomas Beckman. It’s nice to meet you.” His was voice rather uneasy. I admit that cheerful tone was a little unnervingly strong. “You know I’ve met lots of ponies, non ponies too, but you’re the first whatever you are I’ve ever met. You like cupcakes?” “Not surprising, we’re not from this planet. And who really doesn’t like a good cupcake?” This reply seemed to satisfy Pinkie, as well as attracting the attention of a Pegasus. “So if you’re an alien, does that mean you have a blaster?” Rainbow asked, to which Thomas laughed. “In a way it is. It doesn’t shoot lasers or plasma, but it serves its purpose. Maybe I’ll let you fire it sometime, if I like you.” “Doctor Benjamin Miles; psychiatry, before you ask.” Miles wasted little time acquainting himself with the two ponies near him. “An’ what’s that?” The orange pony asked. “Think of it as a mind doctor.” A purple Pegasus-unicorn helpfully stated. “I’m Twilight Sparkle.” “Twilight Sparkle?” Miles cleared his throat. It was subtle, but I could tell he was stifling a laugh. “That name has some interesting connotations.” “And what would those be?” Twilight pressed. “Oh, I really wouldn’t…err…worry about it. So what do you do?” Miles tried to change the subject. “Officially, my three vocations would be: Princess of Equestria, studying the magic of friendship and head of the Ponyville library.” “Magic of friendship? Magic…” Miles said. “The way you talk about it, is there no magic where you come from?” “No magic as such, but there is the psionic theory.” Miles responded. A few brows were raised, mine weren’t. “Psi is theorised to be a sub-particle generated by synapses. If given the correct electrical or thaumatic stimulus, psi is able to be projected to transmit a signal to an object, being able exert control over it in the same way you would control your legs.” “Did you say thaumatic?” Twilight seemed to be interested in the subject. “It was thought up by fiction writers. There is no proof it exists.” I told her. I’m quite agnostic, I didn’t dismiss things with no proof, I just didn’t accept them. “Oh, it’s real. Magic is based around the channelling of thaumatic energy.” I sort of just zoned out of that conversation. I had enough just from taking in the simple explanations from Lyra. “So you get to meet lots of influential people in your line of work? I recall something about being a diplomat?” A white Unicorn asked, addressing me. “I do get to meet some important people on occasions, most of the time not so much. This is still something out of my comfort zone though. I’m just an interpreter. I’m not qualified to be the ambassador of my country, never mind species. We didn’t decide come here, it was just a case of wrong time, wrong place. Sorry, I was beginning to get side-tracked there miss…” I trailed off as a cue for her introduction. “Rarity, and please don’t worry yourself over it.” I nodded, taking a mouthful of my noodles. “So miss Rarity, you seem to know about me, but I’m afraid I know so little about you.” I really wanted to take the subject off me; while good for my ego, it got old fast. “Oh I work in fashion, as a designer. Your shirt, it looks like cotton, but mixed with something else.” I looked my shirt over; white, long sleeved, front button-up, poly-cotton, not something you would wear on your days off work. “Polyester.” I answered. “An artificial fibre. I’m not sure how they make it though; something to do with hydrocarbons, I…think. Science isn’t my forte.” “Clothing seems to be more of a luxury for you, than it is for me. You have that nice white coat, while all I have is…” I undid the button on my cuff and rolled the sleeve down. “Just a few hairs.” I noted. “Luxury for some maybe. I count myself among those that believe that it adds an air of civility, in addition to accentuating natural features.” I gave a muffled acknowledgement from behind a mouth of noodles. “Your friend seems nervous.” I said in a lower voice, still probably louder than I should have. “Is there anything I can do to help that or…” “Oh Fluttershy? She gets like that with a lot of ponies.” “This may come of as a little random, but when I was younger my parents bought a kitten,” This seemed to bring Fluttershy out a little. She still didn’t say anything though. “It was scared of her own shadow. That doesn’t sound like unusual behaviour, but she never grew out of it. Would never sit in sun.” “That’s awful.” Fluttershy spoke out, surprising me; I gave a confused ‘uh?’ “Being scared to do things isn’t nice.” She elaborated. “I know.” --- Celestia was content to watch while she ate. The two groups seemed to get on well. The humans used their hands to dexterously manipulate the cutlery provided. Erik’s meal was most intriguing; It was some sort preserved pre-prepared meal, that reacted in warm water. This, along with their clothes made of non-natural fibres and the factory standard quality of their weapons, seemed to highlight them as a more technologically advanced and industrialised. There was the chance they were more societally developed also. They claimed to be from an international organisation, a very unusual concept. There were some businesses that had branches in other countries, but they suffered from communication difficulties. She waited for a lull in conversation before talking. “Erik?” “Yeah?” He responded. “What does your ‘United Nations’ do? You mention what it is but haven’t really said much at to what they do.” “Well…they…protect human rights, provide humanitarian aid and…you have no idea what those things are do you.” He paused, thinking of a way to rephrase. “They ensure that people are treated fairly by governments, provide help to those in disaster areas, as well as providing a platform for countries to talk. In some cases they have the right to use armed force to,” Erik cleared his throat, “’maintain or restore international peace and security’. They can’t solve every problem, but we haven’t had any world scale wars since founding.” “Do you think we would be able to benefit from such an organisation?” The answer to Celestia seemed like a yes. The overall goal seemed to hit in line with Equestria’s, to promote a better place. “I’d have to know the political climate to be sure.” Erik shrugged. “But I doubt anything ill could come from it.” Celestia was silent for a few seconds. “I do believe I have a proposition for you. If you can gather support and establish the infrastructure for such an organisation, I can look into formulating a teleportation spell to see you home.” “What you ask is not something that sounds easy.” Erik said. “Neither is what I’d be giving you in return. To formulate a spell of such magnitude is not simple. I take it you wish to accept?” “I’ll give it all I can.” Erick said, giving a nod of resolve. “But how do I start?” “The easiest place to start would be the crystal empire to the north. I happen to know the rulers quite well, and I’m sure they would see things the way I do and offer support to you.” “If you know them so well, why not just write to them?” Erik asked. “That would defeat the object of you gaining experience. Let this be the trial attempt, since they will more than likely agree. “ --- “Thomas. Ben.” I said, interrupting an awesomely awesome anecdote and an exchange of political ideals. I told them the idea. Miles was quite enthusiastic about it. Thomas, not so much; he was there for the ride though. Celestia excused herself from the room to fetch something to commemorate the moment. Miles noted it was premature, and I was inclined to agree with him, but I’m not one to create self-fulfilling prophecies. While we waited, Thomas approached me with an offer “Fancy a quick shooting lesson? I’m not a marksman, but I reckon I could show you a thing or two.” “You sure you’re not trying to impress a certain pony?” A shooting lesson would also serve as a demonstration of firearms to Rainbow Dash. I pointed out that firing a gun in an indoor environment, whilst guards were already on edge was not the best idea. I told him "maybe later:" the nicer way of saying "No, and don’t bring it up again". I started to talk to Pinkie pie; she asked me questions at a rate I struggled to comprehend. When I told her my name she mentioned that it ‘sounded funny’ in comparison to the others. I had some comment about Equestrian naming conventions, but I just let it rest and said that I was born somewhere different to them. Celestia returned with her sister Luna, and another pony in tow carrying a camera. The Pegasus had its wings curled around a tripod. “A photograph.” Thomas said with realization. “How are we going to set this up?” “Just follow what I say.” Rarity said, seizing the opportunity to take control. “Celestia and Luna side by side at the back. Then, I think we should have Thomas on the left and Benjamin on the right. Now if you bend down Erik.” I complied, dropping on to one knee. “Now if you girls can just take up position around Erik.” To my left there was Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Rarity squeezed into the space on my right between me and Pinkie Pie. After the picture was taken, I said my goodbyes to everyone in the room and decided to go back to my room. On my way out, I saw Thomas talking with Rarity. He made a gesture to the tactical vest he was wearing; how heavy are those things? Just like a jacket, or so I would imagine. Miles had intercepted Luna, who was about to leave. I passed a few ponies on the way back. Some accepted me, some gave me looks. As I came in there was a book on the bed, a note resting on top. I walked over to the bed and sat on it. I picked up the note a looked it over. The spell apparently didn’t grant me the ability to read; written Equestrian is surprisingly natural for an alien language. It operated on a twenty-six letter alphabet; some of the letters were familiar too. I read it through a few times, using phonetics and reading for context as my strategies for deciphering the letter. Erik I’d like for you to keep a record of your experiences in Equestria and beyond. While a knowledgeable and fully-fledged stallion in your own right, I feel you will grow more from the task you’ve started this day than anywhere else. To have documentation of your struggles that can be viewed generations from now would be most useful to me. This is completely optional and I would not be offended if you do not take the book Yours faithfully Princess Celestia P.S My congratulations if you have gotten this far into the letter by yourself. As you can probably guess by the fact I’m writing this, I went along with it. --- “I would like to see the princess please.” Miles told the guards. The guards eyed him. Before asking him, “And what business do you have?” “I’m here to seek her expertise.” Realising how many more questions this could go on for. ”She’s aware of my presence.” Miles removed Erik’s phone from his pocket. It was locked by a passcode, but it was a simple one; 1-2-3-4 didn’t work, so he tried 4-3-2-1. Even if Erik somehow found out he had taken it, it would be worth the potential gains of this plan. “Hello there, I’ve come here to ask something of you. Remember when I asked you about astronomy?” Luna looked at Miles with interest; if he wanted to consult her on anything she was glad it was an area she had knowledge in. “I was wondering if you have some star charts? I think we could use them to co-ordinate the position of this planet in comparison to mine.” Miles pulled up a star chart up from the virtual encyclopaedia. The image was of sub-par quality, which didn’t help things. “Ok.” Miles said, a nervous start and rightfully so; he had a star chart and his own semi-hobbyist knowledge. Both told him the scale, and the futility of what he was attempting. He looked over a chart Luna had set on the table. “Which one is the brightest?” “This one, Elta Carein, in the epony nebula.” Luna pointed with her hoof. “Elta Carein?” Miles echoed to himself, pouring over his chart. “That name is similar to…” He traced his finger along the screen before tapping. “Eta Carinae. Brightest star in the Milky Way. My galaxy.” “This star is In ours also.” Luna commented. “Okay, same galaxy, something to go on.” Miles said. “Minotuka is a dual-star. That is a distinguishable feature.” Luna said. Miles noted the slight curvature of the group of surrounding stars. “If only it was a little more so. The Orion belt has one, and a similar group of stars around it. Also is home to the horsehead nebula, we call it that because,” Miles pushed the phone towards Luna so she could get a better view. “Take a guess.” “Interesting. Those two points leave a very broad area. Space is also vertical.” Luna pointed out. “With 3D charts and a few of NASA’s computers this would be possible, but we don’t have those.” Miles sighed. After a over little over two hours of productive work, they still had quite literally a universe to cover. The late hour was also beginning to take its toll on Miles. “You should call it a night, you look weary.” “Thanks. What about you?” Miles asked. Luna had remained at a constant energy level. “I’m going to work on it longer. Sleep is something I can go without for longer than most; I could go for a month without sleep, but by the end of it I would hate to see myself.” “I’d hate to one to point it out, but don’t you have some sort of duties?” “Nothing I can’t delegate. You should try being a leader sometime, it’s rather fun.” Miles smiled at this on his way out. “Good luck and good night.” Miles said. It wasn’t until he had left the room he realised something. Erik would want his phone back.