Twilight Sparkle was never cut out for this type of thing.
And yet she volunteered. Volunteered for this expedition. Is she really ready to risk her life in an attempt to spite those who doubt her?
The fact she is here now suggests: yes she was.
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I thought it was great! Quick, fast paced and exiting, good read.
You have a great story idea but you do need to clean it up some more with the errors in it all and all I enjoyed
Present tense is easier when you do it in first person. Just a little hint.
Good luck in future writings!