Griffon the Totally-Platonic-Friend
A Series of Inexplicably Convenient Events
Original concept written and edited by Shanenator
Chapter Five: Griffon the Totally-Platonic-Friend
Kill me. Kill me now. I don’t particularly care how, just make it fast. Why, one might ask?
Because Pinkie. Will not. SHUT. UP.
“-And then Rainbow Dash swooped down, SWOOSH! And then right before she hit the ground, SHOOM! She pulled u-”
“Uh huh,” I replied without a second thought, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the spastic pink mare babbling incessantly before me. I couldn’t believe my rotten luck. Ever since I’d gotten the whole Applejack incident cleared up, because of my neverending awesomeness, of course, my studies had finally started to click back into place.
I could actually focus. I was getting better at teleportation every day that passed. I managed to complete the majority of my homework assignments. I actually got a few of my readings done, which I only ever did when I was in a REALLY good mood. Having all these friends around was quite possibly having a very positive effect on my life, especially on the aspects that I normally held a deep-seated, burning hatred of a thousand white-hot suns of furious anger towards.
Especially my schoolwork. Well, I suppose that’s really the only aspect that’s improved. I still had a deep-seated, burning hatred of a thousand white-hot suns of furious anger towards several other things.
CABBAGES…
Ahem. Anyways, to make things even better, I hadn’t even missed a friendship report yet. Celestia was so impressed with my work ethic that week that she lightened up my load just the teensiest-tiny bit. But hey, I’ll take it. An inch is a mile with her. Yet another benefit of having friends.
So why, one might ask, was it that I was considering my luck to be ‘rotten’?
“-And I was so taken by the little mushroom people, I just couldn’t help but-”
“Uh huh.” THAT’S why. Because the one day I wake up feeling invigorated, the one day that I decide to conquer my greatest source of apathy, the ONE day I feel I have the inner strength to sit down with a history textbook and start preparing for that blasted report, I am assaulted in my peaceful reverie by the Pink Menace.
Not that I’m paying her any mind, of course. She could be proclaiming the end of the world or something ridiculous like an alien invasion or the sky is falling and I wouldn’t be troubled in the slightest. She could even be expounding upon the evils of Princess Celestia and issuing a call to arms RIGHT THIS INSTANT and I would be oblivious.
……
“-But that’s when the smooze started falling from the sky, and I was forced to-”
Well that was probably too much to hope for. Three strikes; she’s out. I have no idea what inane topic she’s managed to ramble onto by now, but I’m sure it’s not nearly as important of a contender for my attention as the book right in front of my face. Which I am trying OH SO DESPERATELY to read and obtain information from, but with her constant yammering in the background it’s essentially impossible. So it’s back to the original plan of placating the Pink Presence indefinitely until she finishes whatever it is she’s trying to say and leaves me alone.
“Uh huh,” I absentmindedly drone yet again, not bothering to come up with a more creative or engaged response. It wasn’t MY fault I was trying to study today!
“-So that’s how I know that the bride will be kidnapped and replaced by a-”
Sigh…and I was doing so well, too…
It was then that salvation arrived in the form of a screaming noise not unlike that of the sound barrier being brutally maimed followed by a prismatic band arcing its way over our heads.
Releasing a shrill gasp and leaping into the air, her previous train of thought completely derailed, thrown a great distance, and exploded into a million tiny little bits and a brilliant fire ball, Pinkie Pie took off in the same direction as the chromatic indicator screaming, “Rainbow Dash! Wait for me!”
I released a sigh of contentment, realizing that I was now alone in the park…on a beautiful spring day…free to do nothing but sit there and read my boring, old history tome…
…Confound it all.
I made sure to inform the heavens in no uncertain terms of my displeasure with life, the universe, and everything. “UUUUUUUUGGH!!”
Finally! At long last! Done! Free from the boringness of history!
Well…sort of. I finished the book I had been reading. Well, speed-reading.
Okay, skimming.
All right, all right! I just glanced through the table of contents to see if any of the subjects pertained to what I was looking for! I get distracted easily, okay?
Anyways. The book in question did not have the information I required to complete my report. So I was heading back to the book store I purchased it from to return it. Yes, I did in fact purchase a history book from a book store, despite the fact that I reside in a library. Why? Well…remember that organization method I mentioned? Yeah…by now the books in the library are in a state of complete and utter chaos. It’s basically impossible to find anything in that mess, so I gave up and decided to buy a new book.
And now I’m returning it to get a new one which will hopefully be more helpful. And then I will get lunch, I’m starving! With the book store in sight, I eagerly trotted towards the front door when…
“Twilight!” The voice…the voice is back! My life is over! Run to the hills!
Or…not. Nopony on the planet can deny Pinkie Pie what she wants. That mare has determination. And a couple of screws loose, but that doesn’t stop her from being terrifyingly obnoxious.
I groaned in agony as the pink ball of energy happily bounced up to me, and prepared myself for the worst. She’s come back to pick up where she left off, I can just feel it! Brace for impact! I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and leaned backwards, waiting to hear what horrors she may unleash…
“Have you seen Rainbow Dash anywhere?”
I blinked one eye open. I blinked the other open. That was it? She wanted Rainbow Dash, not me? Oh, praise Luna, I have been spared this day! Oh glorious, joyous day! I live to eat another lunch!
Hmmm…now to ponder the question at hoof. Have I seen Rainbow Dash? I saw her earlier when she flew overhead, but I thought Pinkie went after her. Maybe she lost her somehow? I wasn’t sure. But I hadn’t seen her since, so I decided to do the only thing I could and take a quick look around. I mean, what are the chances that she would actually be within line of sight of me at this VERY moment? Infinitesimally small.
I looked left. Nothing. I looked right. Nothing. And then remembering that I was in fact searching for a pegasus, I hazarded a glance straight up.
…Only to be rewarded by the sight of a rainbow-colored tail poking out from behind a fluffy, white cloud. I sighed and resisted the urge to facehoof. Note to self: provoke the universe with stupid questions and ye shall receive.
Now for the ultimate question: to sell Rainbow Dash out or to protect my friend? On the one hoof, I’ve already dealt with Pinkie Pie for the majority of the day and would honestly welcome doing just about anything besides reading history books.
But on the other hoof, I’ve dealt with Pinkie Pie almost all day!
Hmmm….decisions, decisions…
Sorry Dashie, but it’s your turn to suffer at the hooves of the Pink One. Consider this payback for slamming me into the ground the other day. I pointed a hoof upwards and said, “isn’t that her right there?”
Pinkie’s grin grew so wide I feared it would split her head right in half, like an overripe…um…pink, fruity thing…
Shut up, that sounded better in my head.
“RAINBOW DAAAASH!” Pinkie called loudly and obnoxiously. I could literally SEE the tremor of fear that shook Rainbow’s body, and had to resist the urge to do so myself. I watched with some amusement as she pulled her head out of the clouds, literally, and then took off like a rocket towards Sweet Apple Acres.
But was the Pink Monstrosity fazed? Not in the slightest. Bouncing along as though she hadn’t a care in the world, Pinkie Pie set off after our chromatic pal at what would be relatively considered a snail’s pace.
Watching her pink tail bounce around a corner and out of sight, I released a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Shaking my head slightly, I turned to resume my prior business of…obtaining a new history book…to read…
More like speed-read. Okay, skim. All right, all right! Glance through the table of contents!
…Why was I purchasing books in the first place when I could just skim the table of contents of every history-related book in the store?
Brilliant, Twilight. Sheer brilliance. Nopony can even hope to compare. Let the best laid plans commence!
I trotted out of the book store with a smile on my face. I was on top of the world! I honestly couldn’t believe how well that had worked out.
Twenty books! I went through a little over twenty books in about half an hour, deciding whether or not I needed to use them. And eventually, I finally found the book I needed to write my report, and it was stored safely in my saddlebags.
It was about the alicorn princesses, and their rise to power. That’s what I planned to write my history report on. After all, that is the aspect of Equestrian history that garners the most interest from me. I mean, the tyrant Celestia had to start somewhere! It’s time to expose her crimes once and for all!
Well…not really. I already have a prompt. My report will only have the slightest, teensiest bit of political bias. I promise.
My rather gleeful mood was then soured by a particularly loud grumbling coming from my stomach. I doubled over in pain, quite suddenly reminded that I still needed lunch. But where to go, where to go…?
Well clearly after all my hard work today, it was time for a reward. With a grin on my face and a rumbly in my tumbly, I headed off towards the pizza place.
It was time for some comfort food.
I groaned in a strange mix of pain and euphoria as I staggered through my front door, hobbled through the main lobby, lurched up the stairs, and then promptly collapsed on top of my large pile of beanbags, pillows, and other soft substances, pausing only briefly on my epic journey to say hi to Spike, who was currently making a sandwich or something in the kitchen.
Or at least, that was the plan. In reality, I just staggered through the front door and then collapsed on the couch, perfectly willing and able to just sleep right there. Sighing in contentment with a goofy smile plastered across my face, I slowly rubbed my bulging paunch as I felt the twisting tendrils of sleep begin to claim me.
“Ooof…shouldn’t have eaten…the whole large…but it was so worth it…”
And with that, I was out.
Some unimportant but most pleasant number of hours later, I awoke from my nap feeling most energized. A feeling that was rather unusual for me, but relished nonetheless. After all, I had just had a nap AND an excellent pizza meal. I would be hard-pressed to think of separate conditions more conducive to a happy Twilight.
It was with this in mind that I decided to continue my hated undertaking: the dreaded history report. Heading upstairs, I gathered my weapons for the approaching battle. Reams of parchment, check. Plenty of quills, check. A rather conveniently located well of ink that I don’t remember purchasing, check. I’d have to make sure to thank Spike later, clearly he’s been doing such a good job keeping me stocked.
And last but not least, my recently and ingeniously acquired history book.
Time to get cracking!
Levitating a quill and dipping it copiously into the bottle of inky…well…ink, I started my report with the easy part.
A History of the Royal Pony Sisters
By Twilight Sparkle
Placing my quill back in the inkwell, I cracked open my book to begin searching for facts that I would be using in my report. Using the table of contents as a quick and handy reference, of course, I flipped to a relevant page. The best part of a book was undoubtedly the table of contents, as it was perfect for ponies of the slightly less nerdish persuasion, such as myself.
Composing my thoughts, I turned back to my report to begin penning a topic sentence, only to be met with…a blank page.
…Huh. I could’ve SWORN I already wrote the title. Oh well, that’s the easy part, I’ll just do it real quick. However, after completing the title once again, I’d forgotten what I was going to write next. I turned back to the book to refresh my memory, but this time I wanted to make sure nothing funny was going to happen, since I was still pretty sure I wrote the title twice.
Flinging my gaze back to the report, I shouted, “aha! Gotchaaaa…oh.” I trailed off as I was met by the title of my report staring back at me. Well, okay. I guess I can look away now. But what about…now!
Nope, still there. I looked away again and then back one last time. But the title was still sitting on the page, clear as Celestia’s sun was in the sky. Huh. Guess I was imagining things. Time to read!
A few minutes later, I had composed my entire first paragraph. Turning back to my paper, I dipped my quill a few times, eager to get started and, more importantly, get finished. But, much to my surprise…the paper was blank.
I stared absentmindedly at the empty piece of paper for a moment or two, trying to process what exactly had happened. One minute, I had a piece of parchment with a title on it. The next, what little work I had done was gone! And if there was one thing I DESPISED, it was wasted effort.
And cabbages.
I must’ve stared at that parchment for a minute or two, unmoving and confused, before the culprits behind my misfortune decided to be merciful. Hearing a sudden giggling behind me, I turned around to stare out of my window.
And who should I see but Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, perched in the branches of my large, oaken home and holding a bottle of…disappearing ink! Why, the nerve of those two! The gall! The disrespect!
The…surprisingly amusing sense of humor. Chuckling a bit to myself, I simply rolled my eyes and headed for the door as the two troublemakers took off, peals of laughter ringing behind them. Sure, I could’ve gotten mad at them, but it was that kind of harmless prank that I just loved pulling myself. The castle staff up at Canterlot had to endure far worse from my younger self over the years. I just couldn’t get angry at kindred spirits.
Besides, now I had something to focus on besides writing that report. Time to go get some ink…
I was in a rut. I had no idea what to write next. Flicking my eyes back to the stack of sheets, I could see my approximately half a page of writing or so that I’d so far accomplished. At least this time it wasn’t disappearing on me.
But still, I’d been flipping through this book for about an hour at least, with nothing new to show for it. And it was getting close to lunchtime, too!
Oh, yeah. It was the next day. After getting the ink I decided that I’d done enough work that day and went to hang out with Pinkie and Rainbow. Although they were wrapping up for the day, we still managed to fit in one more epic prank before the sun went down.
And, well…let’s just say we’re really lucky to not be in prison right now. Guess my idea wasn’t so great after all…
Anyways. Back to my report. Or, should I say, my dismal attempts at making any progress on said report.
And that was when all Tartarus broke loose.
WHAM!
I jumped several feet into the air as my front door exploded inwards, somehow miraculously staying on its hinges. And through that gaping portal stepped none other than the Pink Fury.
And boy, was she MAD. Immediately, I assumed the worst. Clearly, the powers of the Pink Eye had peered into my past and was about to expose me for all my past infractions! The horror, the horror! Time to backpedal!
Throwing my forehooves in the air, I began to earnestly profess my innocence. “I was never a member of the Neigho-Nazi Party! I have no idea who put syrup of epitaph in Celestia’s cake! I-”
“I can’t believe this! Absolutely unbelievable! The NERVE of her! I’ve never met a-”
“-Never ever had a pet to leave that convenient little surprise right in the middle of-”
“-Such a mean-mean-meanie pants! I’ll bet she’s pissy because it’s that time of year and her boyfriend-”
“-And I certainly have no idea how Celestia’s clock got so miscalibrated-”
“-Never in all my life have I been so insulted-”
“-And I definitely never ever EVER snuck into the forbidden section of the library at night to read Pony Sutra!”
“-Actually, I’ve never met a griffon before, but if I had I bet she wouldn’t be as mean and grumpy as Gilda!”
We both paused in our mile-a-minute speech and stared at each other for a brief moment. “Say that last part again?” we both said at the exact same time. Pinkie Pie proceeding to break down into a giggle fit. I had to grin.
“Teehee! That was too funny!” Pinkie managed around her snickers.
“Indeed,” I agreed. “It would seem as though we both were going on about completely different topics. Let’s just drop all of what was just said and start over, okay? Forget everything?”
Pinkie cocked her head curiously. “Forget? Why would we want to do that?”
“NOTHING! NO REASON! ABSOLUTELY NONE AT ALL!” I shouted quite a bit louder than I originally intended to. I was understandably a bit jumpy after inadvertently letting loose with several of my deepest, darkest secrets. Yet again I found myself lamenting Pinkie’s rare act of normalcy in that she somehow didn’t know everything that was said already. Truly, I will never understand that pony. Maybe someday I’ll make a dedicated effort to figure her out.
Hmmm…nah.
Pinkie Pie was looking at me suspiciously now. I had a deep-seated fear that I’d just blown everything, despite grinning for all I was worth and desperately hoping she’d buy my hurried cover-ups.
But just as hurriedly as she almost busted down my door, she brightened up and simply replied, “okie dokie lokie!” I breathed a sigh of relief. Another disaster narrowly averted.
“A-anyways,” I stuttered nervously, still immensely relieved. “Clearly something has your mane in a tail.” I received a blank look. “I-I mean, your tail in a knot,” I hastily corrected. “What’s up? And who’s this Gilda you mentioned?” I trotted back over to my book as I spoke, prepared to jump back into the wonderful world of history should Pinkie’s response prove to be boring or monologuing.
Wow, resorting to history tomes to get away from Pinkie Pie. I really AM desperate…
Pinkie’s expression immediately darkened. “Gilda? Who’s Gilda, you ask!? Oh, I’ll tell you alright. Tell you all about her big time!” Pinkie then began to draw in breath, and I mentally prepared myself for the torrential outburst that was about to be unleashed upon my poor, mortal ears.
“Gilda is Rainbow Dash’s old friend from flight school, and she’s a griffon, and she’s super mean, and she keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, and she popped my balloons, and she told me to buzz off, and she really needs to get an attitude adjustment, and I’ve never met a griffon so mean, well actually I’ve never met a griffon before, but-”
It was then that I decided to try something new. For science, of course. I walked over and stuffed my hoof into Pinkie’s mouth. …Well I’ll be Celestia’s uncle, that actually worked! I’m a genius! “Yes, Pinkie, you said that already. Are you sure Gilda is really so mean?” I’m sure Pinkie is just being Pinkie and blowing everything out of proportion.
“Uh, YEAH!” I hummed in contemplation at her determination. Then again, this is one of Rainbow’s old friends, and if I know Rainbow, I think I have a pretty good inkling what this ‘Gilda’ character might be like.
Wait a second…Rainbow’s old…friend?
Oh. OH. OHHHHHHHH! This is it! This is my chance! To solve the mystery once and for all! To put everypony’s minds at rest! To become the most popular mare in town with the juiciest, most desirable tidbit of information ever! It all potentially makes sense!
Now to simply get a chance to talk with this…‘Gilda’…hehehe…for science…yes…
Pinkie must’ve noticed my slightly evil and/or crazed look descending upon my features, because she roused me from my haze with a poke on the shoulder and an unsure “um…Twilight? You okay?”
“Absolutely dandy!” I replied cheerfully. How could I not be? This was the perfect opportunity! To hay with the stupid history report, it was time for some field work! But first, to ditch the Pink Pest. “You know what I think, Pinkie Pie?” I began innocently.
“What?” she asked.
“I think that Rainbow Dash and Gilda might share a special connection dating back to a long time ago, and that makes each other far more important in their eyes than anypony else. And that includes you, I’m afraid.”
“WHAT?!” she exclaimed.
“Yes, I’m afraid that’s the case,” I nodded solemnly. “But worry you not, Pinkie Pie! I’ll get to the bottom of their secret affair, no doubt about it! And before you know it, you’ll be number one in everypony’s books once again! But for now, you just need to chill and stop being so jealous.”
“JEALOUS?!” Hehehe. Oopsies, I maaay have accidentally set her off. I watched with amusement and no small amount of consternation as her face rapidly flicked through a wide variety of expressions, ranging from depressed to downright furious. “What, I-no that can’t even-I don’t-are you seriou-UGH!!”
And with that loud exclamation, Pinkie Pie hurriedly exited my library home with a loud SLAM! I looked to Spike, who simply shrugged. Well I’ll be sent to Tartarus and back. Another method of ditching Pinkie Pie! Twilight two, Pinkster none. I’ll have to remember some of these tricks for the future…like when I actually decide to write my history report and Pinkie inexorably finds some way to interrupt me.
But for now, time to draw up a master plan. There was work to be done…
About an hour later, I had a general game plan in mind. I would start by asking around town, seeing if anypony knew anything about Gilda in general. Then, hopefully at that point having some general idea of where I could find the griffon of the day, I’d track her down and start monitoring her interactions with Dash.
Shut up, it’s not stalking. It’s playing hide-and-go-seek without telling the other pony they’re ‘it.’ Totally different.
Donning my prized ‘I’m-totally-playing-safari-in-this-bush-and-not-actually-stalking-you’ hat that I used to use to gather information on Celestia, bless her heart for thinking I was actually playing safari and not stalking her, I headed for the front door. However, life had different plans.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Oh no! Potential for discovery! Abort, abort, abort! Tossing my prized hat into a random corner of the library, and only shedding a single tear while doing so, I hesitantly opened the door, preparing to deal with whatever interruption had deemed it necessary to delay my plans today.
There was a griffon on my doorstep. A female griffon. And, judging by the half-lidded eyes and attempts to look cool, a very bored griffon that quite possibly could be my quarry. My face lit up as I beheld the newcomer, a wide smile coming to my face. The griffon seemed a little put off by that, but I paid her no mind.
“Why hello there! Welcome to Ponyville Library! I’m Twilight Sparkle, the librarian here. How may I be of assistance today?” I’m…pretty sure that was the most cheerful greeting anypony has ever gotten on my doorstep. Wait, scratch that, she’s not a pony. Good, my perfect record remains unblemished.
The griffon raised a single eyebrow seemingly disinterestedly before replying. “Oh, this is a library? That’s…cool I guess.” It was evident from her tone of voice that it was actually NOT cool.
I frowned in confusion at her statement. “You didn’t see the sign?” I asked in a much more deadpan voice as I jerked my head to where the sign reading ‘Ponyville Library’ stood.
The griffon stared at it for a moment or two before replying, “nope.” Back to playing it cool for her.
“Oooookay.” I wasn’t quite sure what to say at this point, but then my brain kicked into gear and reminded me that I needed to be friendly, and most importantly, I needed to get her inside to ask her some totally innocent, non-prying questions.
For science, of course.
“Well, do you like reading?” I asked in a friendly manner.
“It’s okay, I guess,” the griffon responded coolly. In other words, that would be a big, fat ‘no.’
“That’s great!” I pressed on, ignoring her lackluster enthusiasm. I had to get her inside, I just had to! “Because this is the place to do it! Anything you want more information on, we’ve got! All you have to do is come inside and take a peek!” I stood to the side, gesturing inside. I was trying really, REALLY hard to be friendly, but not overly enthusiastic. This reminds me of the times I tried to make friends. Hey, it’s hard work! Good thing I already have a committed group and don’t need any more!
But I suppose, if I could befriend Gilda, we’d be ‘friends with benefits,’ or something like that. As in, I’d benefit greatly from a certain tidbit of knowledge I’m hoping to extract.
It was a couple of long minutes during which I was sure the griffon would turn down my offer to come in, and I’d have to resort to my totally-not-stalking-Plan-B-that-used-to-be-Plan-A. But then, much to my undying surprise, she slowly began to head towards the door. “I suppose I’m always down to read up on some new tricks and techniques,” she said disinterestedly as she entered the building. Her tone of voice pretty obviously suggested that she was only here because she had nothing better to do.
“Well that’s great, I know we have books on those subjects! My friend Rainbow Dash checks them out alllll the time!” I exaggerated. But only a little bit. There was that one time she checked out that book with all the pictures and diagrams in it. But, like Gilda, she was far too obsessed with her own self-image to be seen reading books. That kind of stuff is for total nerds.
“You know Rainbow Dash?” the griffon asked, perking up noticeably. Interesting, even the slightest mention of Rainbow Dash’s name is enough to get her excited. I levitated over a notepad and jotted down a quick note on the matter as I headed to the ‘R’ section, where I undoubtedly kept all the books on flying. ‘R’ for Rainbow Dash, ingenious, isn’t it? Makes perfect sense! And of course, being the smart and sensible pony I am, I would of course implement such a brilliant plan.
“Yep! She’s one of my best friends. Do you know her too?”
“Heck yeah I do! Dash and I have been pals for ages. Ahh, good times…” the griffon trailed off, obviously reliving some good memories.
“Well, I guess we have something in common, then!” I remarked amicably. “Now let me just find that book for you, er…” I turned around and flashed the griffon an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, what was your name again? I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch it.”
The griffon stared for a moment or two, as if contemplating whether I was worthy of a response or not. But soon enough she tossed her head disdainfully and replied. “Name’s Gilda,” she said, looking down at one of her talons.
Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesye-
Okay, Twilight. Play it cool. You’re doing great so far. She’s completely unaware of your true intentions. “I’m Twilight Sparkle. Nice to meet you,” I replied, digging through the ‘R’ section. Hmm, I could’ve sworn I put those books here…
“Likewise,” Gilda responded in a tone that actually didn’t imply the exact opposite. Huh, mentioning Rainbow Dash really did a number on her. Let’s continue this line of questioning, then…
“So how did you and Rainbow get to know each other?” I asked innocently as I headed over to the ‘D’ section, where I obviously had put the books since ‘Dash’ is so much cooler than ‘Rainbow.’ Obviously.
“We met a few years ago at flight camp,” Gilda replied coolly. “Turned out we both liked flying fast, showing off, and winning. The rest just kinda fell into place naturally.”
“Sounds like you two were the perfect match,” I observed cheerfully, only barely managing to suppress my annoyance at not finding the books in the ‘D’ section either. The ‘F’, for flying, maybe?
“You could say that,” Gilda responded nonchalantly. Ohoho, playing hard-to-get, eh? I can dig it.
“So what brings you into town, then? Rainbow, I’m assuming?” I asked as I started rooting through the ‘F’ section. No, no, no, definitely no…
“Yeah, I came to visit. What’s it to you?”
“Just…unf…idle curiosity,” I replied, grunting as I shifted heavy stacks of books about. “Didn’t…ergh…mean anything by it.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Gilda murmured, letting her eyes wander about the library. “You find anything yet?”
I grinned sheepishly as I pulled my head out of the ‘F’ section. No dice once again. Looks like the books were well and truly lost due to my state-of-the-art organizing methods. Oops. “Ehehe…I’m afraid I must’ve misplaced them. I think we’re going to have to comb all the shelves in order to find them,” I said, heading over to the ‘S’ section.
Gilda was silent for a moment or two before I heard her response. “Fine. Not like I have anything better to do.”
“Where’s Rainbow right now?” I asked as I resumed my search anew. Normally I hated combing through the dusty, unorganized shelves, but it was worth it to keep Gilda occupied! This was finally starting to look up!
“Some lame weather job.”
“I see…” I trailed off, staring down at the copy of Pony Sutra I held in my hoof. Now what was that doing there? Hurriedly shoving it back into the shelf so I could remember where it was, I resumed searching. I grinned widely to myself. It was time for the real questioning to begin in earnest…
And now is the hard part I got stuck on. Gilda and Twi wear themselves out trying to find whatever it is they’re looking for, I make it look like they had sex or something for a good page or so before revealing otherwise, Twilight drives Gilda up the wall with her incessant probing until she ragequits Ponyville, and Rainbow’s sexual tendencies are kept unknown for the time being. Or something like that, hard to remember.
*Cue laughtrack*
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Awww... It's over? But Twilight wants sexy griffon time.
Oh man, it is so good to see this fic updating again.
Slowly...
With lots of nap breaks...
But seriously:thanks, you made my day with this update.
Would you be adverse to someone shamelessly stealing your concept?
Great chapter. But I'm really sad that you're not continuing you're stories.
7030435 Nope. Go nuts. Just link me, pl0x.
That's a real shame... this site is absolutely filled to the brim with "writers" not worth the title. Your grammar is nearly impeccable, and your storytelling never has a dull moment. We will miss your work, sir. *salutes*
What Maddiepink5 said!
I've enjoyed every minute of this fic and really loved this spin on twilight. It will be sad to see you quit writing, but one can't expect someone to try to enjoy doing something that is no longer fun for them.
Thanks for the great ride and all the laughs.
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Awww, thanks, you're too kind. I will keep such sentiments in mind should I ever find myself pondering picking up the "pen" again.
Awwww, that's sad. Best of luck out there, I guess.
Sad to see you go. Lazy twilight spoke to me on a spiritual level, but I'm glad to see you're embracing her teachings of laziness by not continuing to write