Theresa had done it all. She had slain Alduin, she freed the Companions from their curse, she destroyed the Eye of Magnus, and she, most of all, is a Nightingale. And yet, when she tries combining a Elder Scroll with the Mysterium Xarxes, she finds herself in a odd castle, full of.... horses?
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Ooooh
I think you need to use the bend will thu'um show them ponys real power.
2262350 Ask and ye shall receive.
2262393i.imgur.com/cm31v.jpg
2262420 Where the FUCK DID YOU GET THAT TANK?!
SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!
Good story but I require....... MOAR!!!!!
She swears, shouts, is bloodthirsty, rips out wings and bones for no good reason, stabs out eyes, mutilates Luna and numerous other ponies (entirely unbelievable, mind you) and is completely annoying and bland. I'm sorry, but are we supposed to be interested in or sympathise with this poor excuse of a character? I don't understand why this has as much upvotes as it does. Faith in fandom: -1
2265220 She believes that Luna used Thu'um on her, which, to a dragonborn, is basically the equivalent to slapping them with a glove. No wings were ripped out, although Flutters and Rainbows were broken, and the bone was because Celestia disarmed her. And as to the mutilation, only Flutters, Rainbow and Luna were mutilated, the rest died. Going for the eyes is a perfectly tactic in combat, and fighting fair is for idiots.
2265425
She's also showing Sue tendencies, an unlikable mix of anti and villain Sue, from what I've seen. She might in fact have already crossed the Mary Sue Event Horizon, which is another strike against her. She's also pretty dumb, no scratch that, she's just all around stupid. Wind up in unknown place with unknown creatures? "Durr, mutilate everything that moves!" Add to that that you made her take out the second most powerful pony in canon without any effort, and bam, third strike. Your character is out. Downvoted, good sir or ma'am.
It also doesn't make her the least bit likable. If that was intentional, then I can say you fully succeeded in making a detestable character.
2265481 She thinks that Luna used the Thu'um. What else besides her and dragons does that? Dragons, which she pretty much is, are highly competitive, with Asskicking Equals Authority to them. And she beat Alduin, who had NINE GODS running for their lives. While Luna is a goddess, Theresa beat something that had NINE of them running away. And its sir.
2265513
Even if she beat Alduin, she didn't do it alone, but with lots of help. Without Paarthunax's assistance, she never would have learned of the means to slay Alduin, and during the final battle with Alduin, she was aided by the heroes of Sovngarde. Added to that that she didn't absorb Alduin's soul, so it is debatable if Alduin is even truly forever vanquished. Furthermore, as powerful as Alduin is, he is not an Aedra or a Daedra. At most he is a creation of an Aedra (Akatosh in this case), but even that is debatable. His claim of being the first-born of Akatosh may just be that, a boastful claim, or should not be taken in the literal sense. Either way, he is not a god (ancient Nords may have worshipped him as one at some point, but that doesn't make him a god). Considering he got beaten the first time by normal, non-dragonborn mortals, it should be pretty obvious that his power is nowhere near the level of Aedra or Daedra. As for Theresa, Dragonborn or not, she is still mortal and by far not capable of killing or mutilating a goddess.
So she can't tell the difference between a horse and a dragon. This keeps getting better and better.
2265543 The heroes of Sovngarde were, in fact, dragonborn, for they used the Thu'um, and were fairly obviously not greybeards. Alduin was beaten because a ELDER SCROLL was used, before that they were getting their butts kicked. So, basically, she did something that a scroll could not, which is scary when you think about it. And Luna is alive, just badly wounded. Although you have given me a idea. As for horse=dragon in her mind, that is simply ridiculous, the point was the use of Thu'um(or the royal canterlot voice, which is close enough to fool her), which is a challenge to a fight. As for power, over 1000 dragons were mentioned. Think that just might give a bit of a boost, along with insanely powerful artifacts?
2265556
The scroll only sent Alduin forward in time (to the Fourth Era, where you face him), something the Dragonborn couldn't do. Also, as Paarthunax and the Greybeards theorise, you didn't permanently kill Alduin anyway, he's still going to come back to fulfil the prophecy on the Elder Scroll. So Luna is alive, without her eyes, her horn and one of her wings. Yeah, she should be so happy about living the rest of her eyes mutilated with her most important senses cut off by a random maniac who kills first and talks later. [/sarcasm] Either way, the Dragonborn knew or believed only she or dragons can use the Thu'um. Luna is clearly not a dragon, so why did she immediatly assume what Luna used was a Thu'um when she can see Luna's not a dragon? It should have at least made her scratch her head and try to figure out what's going on, instead of immediatly opting for mutilating like a bloodthirsty, uncivilised barbarian. Also, a thousand dragons, really? Aside from the fact that it's debatable if that many dragons even existed in the first place, I think Theresa's Mary Sue level just skyrocketed. I really think you should think this over a bit better, to be honest.
I liked it. I prefer the more "Charismatic" heroes in these situations, but it's not my story. However, Celestia should still have been able to over power the Dragonborn. Even with end game equipment you can get fucked by a lot of monsters, and Celestia and Luna are both goddesses. Also, just to prove a point to Keeper of Jericho, gods and goddesses are immortal. Luna has nothing to worry about because that immortality will heal all wounds! Also, have you ever been about 1 health and drank a bottle of juice in Skyrim? BOOM! instant health. not even going into the healing power of food. Plus the ponies have survived much worse than this, getting off with a bandage on their head. Yes, Celestia should be far more powerful. Yes, I would rather the Dragonborn were a bit more curious as to what in the name of the nine divines is going on. No, none of them are seriously hurt, or at least they shouldn't be for long.
2265667 Next chapter. And Celestia did overpower A Dragonborn.
2265585 One eye lost, horn 3/4 cut off, not severed, and the wings will grow back. Just takes a while, immortal regeneration does have limits. And did I say she was happy with it? The Greybeards and Paarthunax did THEORISE that, but it was only a theory, and as a author, I am allowed to bend canon, otherwise the custom shout would not of done a damn thing. Although you do have a point about the Thu'um thing, going to do something about that.
a female DRAGONBORN that is a new and GOOD one
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=13857 you got Amulet of the Nine from this?
2267936
While the character's personality could use a bit of work, I like were this is going. Also, I don't see why people claim Celestia to be an immortal and all powerful goddess. On the immortal part, we don't actually know that. Yes, she is doesn't age, that or she just has a VERY long lifespan, it doesn't mean she's invincible, which immortality implies. And when it comes to the all powerful thing, we've seen her both rendered helpless against Discord, and seen her outright get her ass kicked by queen chrysalis. Yes, she can move then sun, but that's her special talent though. In short, the idea that a bad ass dragon slaying warrior can pose a challenge to her, is acceptable. Really, I dislike how in most stories how over powered people make Celestia. Anyways, this story is looking good, will keep watching.
2275281 Heh, yeah. Although, to be honest, sun-butt is the biggest danger to Theresa because of her sun affinity.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY for ... stuff MOAR
Shit is gunna hit the Omega-Fan!
Well I appreciate the update instead of leaving us in the dark for eternity. So much better than after a year of so seeing this and the disappointment of seeing another dead story. So sincere thanks and honestly it was getting a dark for me but this summed it up in a good way.
2797259 Thanks for putting up with my lazy. Did you read to the bottom? Something rather important there.
2797270 I saw that but I thought it was an opening for you and you may pursue it. I won't hold my breath, but if I see it I will have to check it out.
2797284 It asks what people would like me to attempt to do. Those should come out faster, given I spent time planning them, and CHECKING LORE THIS TIME. And I would appreciate it if you answered it. I even got a usb drive full of what amounts to the not-cleaned-up version of the final bits.
I'd like to see crysis 3 crossover my self. I,m glad you at lest told us of how things were to end most would of just let it die.
Well if you continue from where you end this update I have no idea it is very open and all I could see is maybe a story about some weird revelation the character has being contacted by the elements maybe Luna/NMM going against the character. Maybe a pure adventure as most of the cast is dead you will be hard pressed for enemies or sidekicks. Honestly the only thing I can think of is maybe fight more dragons. But a rampage against a country of dragons could be bland. Maybe a rebellion of the slaves against the dragons for land and their treasure , the slaves prove their worth and the elements give here a lesson about life and love by the end some character progression somewhere probably no love interest for obvious reasons. A mini arc about Luna coming to terms with vampirism. At this point that is all I got. I would ease up on the slaughter of characters though I thought it was a little excessive but that was an outline and the reasons for it could be rationalized away in a full length fic. The character seems too evil to me at this point and needs a bit more depth and they need another character to bring out their character. Maybe she picks up Trixie in her travels and teaches her to survive and how you have to do what you must when you are a stranger in a strange land and when talking to Trixie you could explain the character by explaining it to Trixie but this is just some advise that I put out in stream of conscious though so do what you want. If you have fun the reader will as long as you have and editor. But seriously, the characters need to live longer, I say that because the wholesale slaughter of the cast leaves a bad taste in my mouth but could be explained, and it is my personal opinion that I don't like FIM stories this dark. So do what you want and if you want I am sure I could give you some more specific stuff if you ask just what is on my mind.
2797498 Never played it, sorry.
fuck the broken lore, write it off as an alternate universe fic, lol
Interesting, this intrigues me, go on.
Use more lore to get around the lore, elder scrolls are part of destiny, part of everything and anything, they tell what is to come, and what already here, maybe another scroll foretold it's siblings destruction? Maybe the scroll works differently in equestria. The Elder Scrolls are cloaked in mystery, therefore hold infinite possibilities for a writer.