Diary of an Aspiring Tyrant

by SugarPesticide

Entry Fifteen

July 5, 1000 ANM

I have interesting news. I chanced upon the forbidden section of the library today, a place where texts go to die from sad disuse. I have never understood Sister Dearest's insistence that knowledge can be harmful. Where, exactly, is the problem with providing foals with a list of flammable substances? Such a list would be highly educational for the young ponies, as it would teach them chemistry, alchemy, and valuable life lessons all at once. In any case, it certainly keeps youngsters occupied, which is a prime way to prevent young orphans from claiming a destiny of defeating a most noble empress.

The forbidden section is, of course, forbidden, so I found token resistance upon trying to cross over that threshold. The librarian was adamant that I refrain from entering. "If you do," said she, "you will break well over a thousand years of tradition, for only Princess Celestia and her most faithful student have permission to pass into the forbidden section."

I blanched at the thought of shaming tradition. Regardless, I stood firm. My task is a noble and great one which cannot be deterred by mere courtesy. "If my sister has permission," I told her, "surely I have permission by extension. I, who have recently been freed from the grip of a most vile demon, am trusted to cooperate with her in ruling Equestria once I have again reached my full strength. Why should that trust not extend to lesser spheres?"

"It's not a matter of trust, Your Highness," she explained. "It's a matter of precaution. Like you said, you're not at your full strength yet, and who knows what might happen if this knowledge falls into incapable hooves? Not to say you're incapable, of course, begging your pardon," she added hastily. "But an alicorn of your stature —"

"Is nevertheless perfectly able to take care of herself." I know that haughtiness is bad for one's complexion, but I simply could not help but feel a need to express my righteous indignation. "It is true that I am small for an alicorn, but I am nevertheless no less diminutive than the ordinary pony. And is not Twilight Sparkle an ordinary pony?"

"Well, yes," she admitted. "But I'm afraid rules are rules."

"Indeed?" I puffed out my chest in an intimidating fashion. "And if Blueblood or Mi Amore Cadenza should request access to these tomes, would you drive them away so uncouthly?"

"Well, I suppose they would have the right to the information," she said uncomfortably. "But they wouldn't just barge on in here and —"

"Am I not your princess, peasant? Where is the verisimilitude you find in comparing me to a barge, pray tell?"

"That's n-not what I meant," she stammered, turning pale. Her fear love was palpable. "Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness. I didn't mean to offend you. Of course you have full access to these archives! Of course you do! But personally, I would feel better about it if you asked to be granted here officially from Princess Celestia first."

"I am not a filly, librarian!" I exclaimed, though I was full aware how like a tantrum my crusade was becoming. "It is not my way to beg permission from my sister like an impoverished child. Nonetheless, I shall suffer myself to bend to your will, just this once. If it puts your mind at ease, little pony, I will do as you suggest, provided that you keep out of my way from this day on when I have received her approval. Does this satisfy you?"

She nodded timidly, and I took my leave in a proud manner.

"Well, of course you can use the forbidden section," Sister Dearest said reasonably once I had explained the situation to her. "There's no reason to keep you from it, and you know that I trust you completely. But I thought you had found an interest in spell matrices a few days ago. What sparked this new interest?"

"What sparks any interest?" I replied casually. "It is always interesting to see what new developments have taken place, and considering my taste for the more macabre things the world has to offer ... well, it creates a demanding curiosity that must be satisfied. Worry not, Celestia. It is not as if I were planning to sneakily sweep Equestria from under your hooves again."

"Oh, I know," she said. "I have full confidence that those times have long passed."

She gave me a smile I did not much like before strutting off to court.

I returned to the library with some swagger in my step, and the wary librarian did not bother to verify whether or not I had truly received permission. Placated, I pushed aside the heavily chained door reading Taxes: Do Not Enter and emerged into a large chamber of many books. Rows of shelves were lined alongside one another innocuously, just as their brethren were in the library proper. Their titles, of course, gave their treacherous contents away.

Such wonders I have stumbled upon! I cannot hope to absorb all of these marvelous contents, but I can certainly try.

I retrieved for my room a large tome titled Banned Substances and You (995 Edition) and am currently perusing what words lie within. There is a great deal of highly informative items of note, including an interesting aside on how to manufacture something called nitroglycerin. I shall have to study these manners further, and I really must apologize to Blueblood for missing dinner. The poor dear said he had a fact he wished to disclose to me during the meal, and my absence has surely revealed to him the importance of my discovery.

Comments

[Princess Celestia]

[Mystic Deadman]

TNT...
Oh God...
The ensuing explosion must be epic.
You have no choice about it.

[Moonshine-Dusk]

3024798 Nitroglycerin kicks tnt's flank so hard, that when it hit the moon, it blasted straight through it, slammed through the sun causing it to supernova, and continuing to gain momentum till it tore a hole in the space time contiuum causing the universe to implode.

[xTSGx]

inb4 Luna's attempts at using nitroglycerin to kill Celestia/Mane Six/Cadance end up saving her from having a heart attack.

[Magical Trevor]

This... is going to be AWESOME... ER. Awesomer, since this story is already awesome. Yeah.

[BarrenBaron]

I have a feeling Luna is more or less just Celestia's private version of jackass, made solely for her schadenfreudic viewing pleasure at this point...

Albeit one she'd feel terrible about if she ends up seriously hurt, which will probably eventually happen, alicorn or not.

[Seether00]

How dare that librarian stand in the way of the Royal Mission. She just made the enemies list.

[blazikenking]

3026139 Was that a Freeman's Mind reference? I sure hope so.

[moonstne]

I fear this story

[TheGreatEater]

Tyrant Luna is amazingly hilarious. And Trollestia knows everything that is going on this whole time. Although I love the fact at all her plans are born from a child's imagination. Murdering, flying, Gingerbread houses; Evil Rubber Duckies; Duct tape as a punishment. It's all so adorably incompetent that I can't help but cheer for her.

[Zervziel]

I would not be surprised to find that Luna's diary had a twin that magically copies everything written into it in Celestia's room.

[Apocalyptic Fries]

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