Diary of an Aspiring Tyrant

by SugarPesticide

Entry Twenty-Three

July 13, 1000 ANM

Utilizing the Nitroglycercute is even more amusing than I had previously imagined! Blueblood and I whiled away the day trekking through the crystal corridors in search of rusting minecarts, and, upon discovering them, proceeded to paint them in the beautiful colors of the night. When our finishing touches had rendered them into abstract canvases boasting starry skies, we found pleasure in carefully rolling them to the edge of a steep drop, then allowing them to fly downhill on rickety tracks before smashing spectacularly into the far wall. As a result, a jagged corridor has been dug out thanks to our efforts! Truly all of my effort to obtain the nitroglycerin was not a waste of time.

The practical applications of this dangerous paint will be more of a challenge to decide. I have come to realize that the care taken in coating the substance over the unfortunate object of my attention results in a time-consuming endeavor, lest I be bombarded with magnificently powerful detonations blossoming before my very eyes. My mane caught on fire several times as I discovered this, but putting the flames out was of small concern; that blue mop bears no stars, so its appearance cannot sink much further. Blueblood had no such trouble with the blasts, as he is well used to the delicate art of applying cosmetics to his face. It is commendable how his application of trivial frivolities to realistic efforts has translated into a fabulous enterprise. I really must treat him to a restaurant at some point.

I trust that nopony noticed the resulting explosions, for, despite the tremors that easily shook our frames at the heart of the mountain, much of the palace seemed to be preoccupied with other matters. Apparently a rotund servant from the depths of the kitchen had elected to remain asleep in the pantry, sparking dull crashes in his rolling about on the floor. That said servant claimed to be busily at work seemed of little importance, despite the testimonies of twenty eyewitnesses.

“How unprofessional!” I scoffed as we departed from supper. “To think that some oaf such as he was deemed fit to bake my breakfast this morning!”

“Indeed,” my simpering son agreed. “I would have ordered him to leave the castle, but that seemed unwise considering the possibility that he might roll right over me.”

I chortled. “Ah, my dear Blueblood. You are always aware of what makes me smile.”

“I was being serious, Mother.”

“So was I.”

He appeared confused, as is often the case.

Another turn led us to the throne room, where a cloaked figure watched the moon rise through tall stained glass windows. Shadows shrank in the pale encroaching light, but nevertheless they half concealed the figure’s wistful face. We paused at the sight of him, for once uncertain as to what might be done.

The strange stallion turned and tossed his head, dislodging the hood that hid his visage. He was an odd fellow, for black paint coated his entire body, although one could see patches of sunny yellow peeking out here and there. His eyes glinted in what I suppose could be construed as a knowing manner, though in reality it seemed more likely that he was about to burst into tears.

“Is night court in session?” he asked. His voice was affected by a heavy rasp, which rang even less true than Mi Amore Cadenza’s supposed love for asparagus. “I wish to speak with you regarding my destiny as your right-hoof colt.”

Blueblood and I glanced at each other. “Did my noble sister bribe you to do such a thing as this?” I asked, pawing at the polished floor subtly. “For if she did, you may turn and depart. My words will be for her, and her alone.”

“Celestia had nothing to do with this,” he growled. “I want to talk with you.”

I took an involuntary step back, utterly shocked at the lack of respect in his words. “Who do you think you are, little pony? Do you care not for the effort she puts into your safety and well-being?”

“She’s a tyrant,” he muttered. “You are meant to be the true ruler of Equestria. And I will stand at your side, like the faithful stallion I am.”

“What the hay?” Blueblood blurted.

I blinked, trying to think of where to begin addressing his abrupt statement. Since when had Sister Dearest done something to earn such dislike? “Well, I … well. Ahem. Yes. No? I thank you for your token of appreciation, good sir, but I fear … I love that I cannot in good conscience accept it while you slander the name of my dear sister. We are not to have our roles reversed so abruptly like schoolfillies in a class play.”

“But she’s a tyrant!” he repeated, and a bit of a whine began to creep into his voice. “She controls everything! You can’t look over the obscurest bylaws without seeing her hoof in it!”

“And where is the issue of such a supposed crime, if one is truly wise? I for one see no harm in it, and it seems you hold my judgment in high esteem. Tell me … ah …”

“Moonshadow, Your Majesty.”

Moonshadow? What an oddly convenient name, considering his desires. I bit back this comment, however, fearing loving the conversational paths it might lead towards. “Moonshadow, then. What deed exactly has Princess Celestia accomplished to deserve your ire?”

The stallion paused. “Um. Well, she’s never going to be as wholesome and pure as you are, Luna! I love you!”

I snapped at this. “Bite your tongue, you fat worm! Look back upon your history lessons, and tell me this: which of us destroyed the great city of Everfree in the space of a few hours, without a shred of mercy to its innocent inhabitants? She in her sorrow, or I in my madness?”

For once, he was silent. I resisted the urge to smirk at this.

“You know, commoner,” Blueblood remarked with narrowed eyes, “you look awfully well-fed for a pony who’s endured the vile whims of such an monstrous leader. Of course, I can’t exactly say the same for your education, but you know what the word ‘obscure’ means, so you must have been to magic kindergarten at least.”

“Magic kindergarten ruined my life!” Moonshadow fairly bawled.

“Magic kindergarten only ruins the lives of those who let it! My good behavior earned me an eclair on one memorable occasion. Did you even pay attention to anything your poor hard-working teachers had to say?”

He shrank slightly, then bolted. The Night Guards standing outside the door shot him bemused looks as he fled the scene.

“Night court is too much for me,” I said dramatically. “I shall no longer tolerate idiocy on this calendar day. Prepare yourself for the night, Blueblood. The hour of sleep draws near.”

“You did hear what he said, surely?” my good son asked once we were out of earshot. “He believes a tyrant is something to be hated. He is an idiot, but I highly doubt that others don’t share his opinion.”

“It is a matter of talent and good sense,” I replied, looking up briefly at a window depicting the defeat of that monster Nightmare Moon. I shuddered, remembering all too well the wonderful burn of the rainbow on that fateful night. “Above all else, a tyrant is meant to be feared … to be loved. It is more than a matter of mere policy, despite any claims to the contrary. What they worry about is malevolence, not dictatorship. I assure you, Blueblood, I shall always be a just ruler when I have seized the throne.”

Such were the words I spoke. Yet a sliver of doubt has entered my mind as I write this. What if his point is true? It is certainly possible that the other common ponies mistake tyranny for terror, and their efforts to resist me may make everything fall apart. I suppose that in the morning I shall look back on this and scoff, impervious to the paranoia that darkness engenders. Nonetheless, even the prospect of the Nitroglycercute cannot lift my spirits at this moment. The question posed here will take, above all else, patience and time.

Comments

[xTSGx]

Above all else, a tyrant is meant to be feared … to be loved.

So I see Luna takes the Machiavelli approach.

[khatre]

I wonder ... Did Luna (and Blueblood) just blow the underground path into Canterlot that Chrissy (with her changeling hordes) will eventually use to invade Canterlot, replace Cadance and try to take over Equestria?

[katarjin]

3199127 so its all Luna's fault

[khatre]

3201017
It turns out that Trixie was Luna's fault... Pattern maby?

[Magical Trevor]

What? Surely Luna isn't having second doubts! The horror!

[Black John]

I love how you're handling Blueblood. He has character, sounds like a person, but he's still a piece of shit, and in-character. Hell yeah.