Diary of an Aspiring Tyrant

by SugarPesticide

Entry Ten

June 30, 1000 ANM

Last night I dreamed of the madness that gripped me not two weeks ago: the loathsome solitude save for that monster, involuntarily dashing across dusty silver stone. Cold laughter rang in my throat and ears as I galloped beneath an eternally jet-black sky with its obscenely glittering galaxies. Feathers fell from my starved wings, collapsing into puddles of liquid corruption as they floated downward on pale gravity. Simultaneously I was a massive being, a mere bodiless head paralyzed foully in the rock of my own creation while whispers in a guttural tongue clawed at my mind. All the while there was screaming, though whose I was uncertain. I drowned in fear love, undying forever.

I decided to deal with this nightmare in the mature way that I always have, namely shrieking and curling up beneath light blankets, shivering like a foal. I am embarrassed to disclose this information, but as I am an honest princess I cannot hide my moments of weakness from my gentle readers. Perhaps it is also for the purpose of gazing on these pages in the future and laughing at my own folly, though at the moment I have no such inclination.

Sister Dearest was kind enough to drop by my chambers, carrying with her a tray of hot chocolate and a bizarre confection called marshmallows. I have decided that this is my favorite beverage, even if it does bring to mind my small form curled up beneath my sister's great wings. The comfort it provides outweighs its connotations.

Upon finally revealing the nature of my distress, I found a trace of a sad smile upon her face. "Before you returned, I used to have similar dreams. Being chained to the planet while demons spirited you away ... well, that's something I never quite grew accustomed to." Her embrace tightened as she nuzzled me. "My little sister. I am not infallible, but I would go to the ends of the earth to protect you and your happiness."

"I know." I took a sip, taking pleasure as a half-melted marshmallow slipped between my lips. "And for that I am grateful. But the Nightmare's possession was entirely my fault, you know. There is no need to blame yourself. It is my burden to bear, and mine alone."

"Now, you can't say that. The Nightmare was quite active in taking control. But Luna ... did the Magic of Friendship teach you nothing? The greatest deeds cannot be accomplished on our own. We need the help of others to be the best we can be."

"Spare me your forgiveness, Celestia. There are others more deserving than I."

"You've been rather anxious for acceptance, silly sister," she told me with a nudge. "Make a decision already! But in all seriousness, I've wondered many times if there was something I could have done ... anything to prevent the madness you found yourself sliding into."

"Do not say such sad things. I cannot blame you for my own failings."

"Nevertheless, I have meant to care for you above all others. What sort of caretaker am I, the wise and fair Princess Celestia, who couldn't even stop her own beloved sister from falling into the black magic of the cosmos?"

I barked out an accidental laugh. "I suppose the fault lies with both of us. It is mostly in myself, though."

"I suppose you're right. But I'll help keep you from making the same mistake twice." She smiled and lifted the pot with her golden magic. "Well, it does us no good to lament about things we can't change. More hot chocolate?"

If there is one thing to say about Sister Dearest, she is certainly the kindest rival I could hope to have. That fact should not be as surprising as it is, but there is the truth. I do not know what I have done to deserve her admittedly welcome presence, but I suppose that whatever it was, it atones me a hundred times from the Nightmare's lies.

In more practical news, I have decided that this nightmare should not repeat itself. As soon as it is equinely possible, I shall strive to return to the realm of dreams and retake my title as the Queen of Dreaming. If I cannot have my night one way, I will have it in the other.

Comments

[Eclipsed]

Hmmmmph.
How could you?
What, you ask?
YOU LEFT NO SPELLING MISTAKES FOR ME TO OCD OVER!

[lilmagi]

fear love

What's up with this?
It keeps being used, regardless of the context, or if 'fear' would make more sense.

[kingtwelvesixteen]

2882390
Luna has some serious issues.

[werewolf435]

2882390 her mind has fear and love mixed up to the point that they are either interchangeable, or one has become the other.

[supergirl1329]

2882801

Ahhhh.... That makes more sense now.