• Member Since 17th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen May 29th, 2016



Cover art credit once again goes to Still Breeze. Thank you so much for the image, bro!
Direct sequel to my first story, Blaze: Part I. Reading part one is recommended in order to better understand this story.
Nearly two months have passed since Blaze and Twilight Sparkle were thrown into the Crystal Caves below Canterlot. After a chance break-in saves their lives, the two weak ponies escape and learn the truth of what has happened. Blaze then begins an insane adventure to save his mother, the Princess Luna, from Celestia's tyrannically-possessed mind.
PLEASE DON'T DISLIKE MY STORY JUST BECAUSE IT'S AN ALICORN OC. If you don't like it, please just forget about it. Dislikes won't make my story go away. Thank you.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 11 )

Now, you don't get to tell me what to do with my dislikes. They're mine, and I'll damn well use them if I want to.

Ignoring the fact that your main character is an alicorn OC, I found him to be a boring and unimaginative character.

You also failed to follow the literary rule "show, don't tell". In the "thoughts" of the first chapter, you pretty much regurgitated a bunch of information, under a thin disguise as the character thinking.

Also, rather than worrying about the potential threat of Celestia, they're just standing there in the cave, until they decide it's snogging time. Come on. If an evil tyrant tossed my girl and I in a cave, we'ed be fighting our way out. Kisses come afterward.

Lastly, the Luna's son thing. While I have no doubt that both the Princesses are well-versed in the art of coitus, I sincerely doubt that they would have had any children, let alone an alicorn. Let's not forget that Luna's been imprisoned in the moon for 10 centuries. Unless Luna tossed Blaze from the moon down to Equestria, then he's been around for as long as Celestia. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except for one glaring mistake.

You didn't put an "Alternate Universe" tag on. Right now, your fic is taking place in official show canon, and you are breaking it. A LOT. Someone more... meticulous than I might report your story for improper tag use. I'd recommend fixing that.

-Winter Storm

1983116 *puts hands up in inhostility* Whoa, okay, bro.

Point received.

I didn't tag it 'Alternate Universe' cuz I thought it meant like 'Parallel.' My bad.

1983223 Sorry, got a bit steamed from going though some other fics. Just needs development.

1983234 Well, thanks for the comment, at least. Shows me things I've never really considered.

For example, the whole 'moon' concept, I still don't even jump that in Part I, now that I think about it. I just figured I'd throw him in there somewhere; make him a little younger than Cadence, then I just took off with it.

I should definitely consider expanding the timescale Part I covers, so that it makes at least some more sense...

If it means anything I am going to like just because you were polite about the Alicorn OC thing. and I liked part one.:pinkiesmile:

1983351 Cool! Thanks!

Just figured I'd put the thing up there. Gotta try everything at least once, right?

Aww, that's adorable! :twilightblush: Great start! Can't believe I've only just got 'round to reading this...

Too busy playing Persona 4, I guess! :derpytongue2:

"Oh, my. Sounds - and looks - like you've been through Hell."
"Yeah. Through Hell and back."


Lol, I saw that, but didn't realise it was intentional. Nice work fitting it in there, and thanks a lot for the little nod! :twilightblush:

I love how you always manage to end shirt-ish chapters on a cliff-hanger! :derpytongue2:

Aww, poor Fluttershy... :fluttershysad: I know Blaze is all distressed and stuff, but damn... how can one be so quick to yell at Fluttershy? :fluttercry:

Anyways, its starting to look good. :twilightsmile: Wonder how they'll get to Neighterworld...

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