The man from the woods

by Jimbob

Wake-up in the morning

I woke up by myself, It was surprisingly nice just to lie in bed for a while doing nothing. At least that's what I did until I heard someo-no wait somepony knocking on the door. I sighed and slid out of bed, I looked at my dirty clothes and realized that they were the only clothes that I had. I guess I could toga it but...... Ah fuck it I'd rather wear dirty clothes that a toga.

I went downstairs trying not to get angry with the increasing knocking at my door. I opened it

"Yes?" I said in a crisp tone

"Alex!" Pinkie seemed no only way to chipper than anyone had any right to be but also a complete contrast to the grumpy looking unicorn next to her.

"Pinkie, Twilight what brings you to my humble abode." And why does Twilight look like she was hit by a large city bus?

"I'm here to give you and Twilight the tour of Ponyville!" Pinkie happy nature seemed to be unfazed by Twilight's dour mood.

"Yes, well I afraid..." Come on brain think of a clever lie " That I must ......" I hadn't even had my morning coffee yet how could I expect to think of a believable lie? Then a thought hit me, why lie when I could tell the truth?

"Sorry Pinkie but I haven't had breakfast yet, maybe later?" She just kept smiling before wrapping for foreleg around my waist and pulling me out of the house while somehow shutting my door.

"That's alright silly we'll get some breakfast at Sugarcube corner." With my only excuse gone and my mind struggling to grasp what a 'Sugarcube Corner' was I was easily herded onto the street along with a grumpy looking unicorn.

"Hey ya Twilight why do you look like death warmed over?" She muttered darkly and ignored me

"Oh she just a little bit of a grumpy Gus because she drank too much and has a headache" Pinkie volunteered, so she was hungover got it....excepted didn't Pinkie drink last night too?

"So if she's hungover why aren't you?" Pinkie paused and scratched her head with her foreleg which looked like an affront to gravity itself before saying

"What's a hangover?" I blinked

"You've never had a hangover?" she smiled and started walking done the street, me and Twilight in tow

"Nopey dopey!" I frowned confused, she had definitely had enough booze, or salt I guess to leave her hungover..... unless ponies can handle their liquor and recreational drugs a helluva lot better than humans. And another why was Twilight on this tour she definetly had no interest in being here

"So why is Twilight here again?"

"Pinkie wouldn't let me 'Waste such a fantastic day' sleeping in" Now I'm no expert on glares but Twilight's glare o'death was seriously impressive being beaten only by my mothers patented 'I'm using your full name now, fear for your very being' glare.

"Yeah but why are you on the tour?"

"I just moved here" I was surprised

"Really? You get along with your other friends so well I would have guess that you had known them for years." She smiled slightly

"Nope, just met them a few days ago but.... you ever met someone and felt like you've known them forever?" I nodded me and my buddy Ray were like that, we had met at some bar. I forget the exact reasoning behind it but we were both trying to impress this girl by how many shots we could do. By shot seven the girl had left and we were laughing like idiots. I miss Ray

"Yeah I know the feeling." I said somberly, She nodded

"It's like that" Made sense I suppose friends were weird like that

"Come-on you silly fillies we still have a whole town to explore!" Pinkie exclaimed while attempting to climb my back

"Firstly; I'm not Mount Everest so why do you insist on always trying to climb me? Secondly; I'm not a filly I'm not even a pony I am a male human." I deadpanned, Pinkie continued to climb up on to my shoulders

"But it's fun to climb things! And it's easier to rhyme with filly than male human!" I tried to shrug but the action was impaired by the pink pony. Pinkie began to list of names of ponies I half-remembered and their occupation while pointing at the house they lived in. Twilight seemed to be paying some attention while I was trying to figure out if the ponies had electricity or not. It sounded like a simple yes or no question right? I wish, the ponies had the weirdest gaps in technology that I had seen, they had refrigerators but no obvious power plugs for them, I had seen DJ equipment last night but no TV's it was just weird.

Plus I was kinda hoping that if they had electricity I could figure out how to charge my phone. I missed human music already, and why is Pinkie so light? I thought ponies were supposed to be heavy.

"And Lyra and Bon Bon live over there" She jerked slight in one direction while pointing at a two-story house.

"Lyra play music and Bon Bon makes candy!" at least I tuned in for the important part; Food. And then I noticed something

" You know for a alien carrying a pony on his shoulders we sure aren't getting as many stares as I thought we would" I commented

"Oh course not silly Princess Celestia said you're nice"

"So just because Celestia said I'm Nice I can do weird stuff and nobody blinks an eye?" Twilight intervened

"Princess Celestia mentioned that you are likely to have unusually habits and hobbies that may seem strange but that we should respect."

"That was nice of her." I wonder what that will let me get away with, It's basically diplomatic immunity. Pinkie let out a loud gasp

"Quickly my steed this way!" She said while jerking me towards a large gingerbread looking building.

"Ack! Stop! Hair is not a lead!"

Comments

[Jack Kellar]

We can wait 'till all's better for you. Patience, better days for writing will come

[Deadinlight]

i.qkme.me/3ozhve.jpg

[Twilight Best Pony]

just good to see you again.

[The Castaway]

Hey, life comes first. It's all good.

[white_raven]

At least you are alive,and that is all we could hope for.

[JBL]

So before I begin reading this, I saw Comedy as one of the tags, so I've got to know: is it a major theme throughout the chapters?

[Gliphid]

no need to apologize we understand, but thank you for letting us know this story is still alive.

[Zarose]

Dude. Your in the military working for the American country. You have no need to apologize. This simple update helps us understand what's going on and we ALL ( *looks at other readers sternly) can be patient for more.

[Twilight Best Pony]

*pokes with stick*
is it dead? sure hope not.
work is painful right now good sir?

[Base-Delta-Zero]

rs1027.pbsrc.com/albums/y333/doomcrusader_photos/op-will-surely-deliver-lets-just-wait.jpg?w=480&h=480&fit=clip

[starship55]

I am liking this a lot. MMOORREE PPLLEEAASSEE !!!!!!!!!