The man from the woods

by Jimbob

The new (and only) Man in town

"You want to go home?" Celestia asked

"Yes, just send me home" The little flicker of hope in my chest was growing steadily stronger

"Very well, you said you hail from a different planet correct?"

"Yeah it's called Earth"

"Why do you not return the same way you got here?" a frown crossed my face

"I don't know how I got here" I mumbled

"You don't know?"

"No I just kinda woke up in a field" I thought I had explained this

"With no recollection of how you got here?" I shook my head, as a frown formed on Celestia's face

"And I assume you have no idea where your planet is in correlation to Equestria, do you?"

"I hadn't even heard of a planet capable of sustaining life let alone one called Equestria." The frown deepened and the small flame of hope is my chest quickly flickered out.

"You can't send me home can you?"

"Not immediately, I'm afraid." Notcing the liking going out in my eyes Celestia quickly continued

"However given time we might be able to figure out how to get you back." She said with a small smile

"How much time" Her smile faltered

"I do not know, but I assure you we shall do everything in our power to return you to your world" I nodded, not exactly happy but not despairing, still a small frown persistent in my face.

"So what do we do with me then?" Twilight lifted her leg in the air, which in itself was some kind of insult to physics.

"Uhh princess he could stay in Ponyville." I flinched at the terrible pun that seemed to be the norm here.

"Why would I want to stay there?" The name alone was almost enough to drive me away

"Umm well it's nearby, really friendly, kinda small and you already know someponies living there!" She finished with a big smile. I thought about it and to be completely honest it didn't sound that bad. I was still skittish around these ponies, I was unsure of how I would react to large crowds of them and well these ponies didn't seem so bad.

"Well..... I guess that could work" Twilight beamed, while Pinkie jumped up and down while talking about some party or something.

"In that case I suppose we'll have to get you somewhere to live then won't we?" Celestia was smiling

"But perhaps you should meet the rest of your new 'neighbors', hmm?" Celestia said while motioning to the other unknown ponies in the room. The white pony stepped forward

"Hello darling, my name is Rarity, local Fashionista" She sounded very high-class, stuck her hoof out while looking to the side.

'Does she want me to kiss it?' deciding to be particularly obtuse I grabbed her hoof and shook it rapidly

"Nice to meet you Rarity" I said as she slowly stumbled away, as the blue rainbow haired one flew up.

"I'm Rainbow dash number one flying in Equestria!" She stated as she hovered eye to eye with my

"The pleasure's mine I'm sure" I replied with just a hint of sarcasm that she seemed to miss. I think that's all of them, oh no wait the Oran- Applejack is pushing a yellow ball with pink hair towards me. Is this a peace offering or something?

"Come'on Fluttershy say hello" Applejack said, a pair of teal-ish eyes popped out from under the hair

"Hello" she squeaked before shooting back behind Applejack.

"And I'm Pinkie!" A pink blob attached to my back announced

"This is like the third time you introduced yourself to me" she frowned

"But everypony else was doing it" she whined as I lifted her off my back.

"Fine, fine. Can we go now?" I asked Celestia who smiled

"Certainly follow me."

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I trudged along behind the group still somewhat upset about being stuck here, unfortunately Pinkie didn't seem to like that

"Come on mister grumpy cheer up!" Pinkie reached up and forced my face into an oversized smile before it slumped back into a frown.

"Pinkie darling why don't you give Mr. Alex some space" Rarity pulled Pinkie back-up with the rest of the group, allowing me to continue to sulk.

'Could be worse' I chuckled at the thought 'Yeah I could've landed in the resident evil world and gotten lost in one of their plot holes' I snorted, right as a pair of Pink hooves wrapped around my head.

"Hey he's not grumpy anymore!" Pink pony on my head

"AAAAHHH!" I yelled as I began to run in circles

"WHEEEE!"

"Get her off me!" I screamed while the other ponies stared at us in awe or in Rainbow's case falling to the ground laughing. After several minutes of me running around screaming and Pinkie cackling like a madwoman ( or madpony)

"Fine-pant you-pant win." Little wanna-be headcrab had a vice like grip, I should probably turn in my man card seeing as I had just been overpowered by a pink pony.

"Do it again!" She giggled

"Nooooo, get off my head" I groaned as I desperately tried to force Pinkie off of my head to which she giggled. Celestia cleared her throat

"Pinkie perhaps you should get off our guest, we are nearly there."

"Awwww" She whined as dropped off my head and landed with a bounce next to me.

"So Mr. Alex do you like cake?" What is with this pony?!

"Sure, I guess" She furrowed her brow

"Can you teach me some alien cakes?"

"I'm afraid not"

"Aww why not?" She whined

"Because reasons" the idea of pro-longed social interactions with the ponies was not one that was appealing to me. I was planning on holing up where-ever I could until the Princess could send me home. Then hopefully I would forget this entire thing or repress it...... Meh either one would work. Celestia spoke up

"Alright Alex we suggest you prepare yourself for this" we walked out of the forest and into a clearing with a town on the horizon.

"Meeting an entire town of colorful ponies? What could possibly-MUH!" Pinkie shoved her hoof in my mouth

"Don't say that!" I spat her hoof out

"Gross that was on the ground."

Comments

[Ghostdad7]

Yay late update!

[Long Live Derping]

"What could possibly-"

Doesn't take a genius to tell where that was going. It was "What could possibly go right?". Am I warm? Eh? Eh? No? Okay, fine, I'll stop.

[mexipon3]

[Jlargent]

Yeah, invoking the great god Murphy is Twilight's job.

[Undead_Non-Brony]

He needs to smack pinke. Rick James style!

[Hat and clogs guy]

1912687 Yah. I mean, it's almost her signature line... xD

[Tri-PonyTrouble]

Because reasons.