The Writers' Group56,433 stories ·9,296 members
Looking for Editors3,384 stories ·5,415 members
Art for Fanfiction213 stories ·5,170 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,256 stories ·5,462 members
~The Decent Writers Club~9,286 stories ·1,674 members
After being caught red-handed, during his raiding, by a daring and rather charming archaeologist, Raider is force to help the archaeologist in her search for an artifact or suffer life in prison. Not having many choices, Raider agrees to help but soon finds out that the quest for ancient artifacts turns to a battle of Good vs Evil when he meets his new nemesis... Ahuizotl.
Page generated in 0.08 seconds
Total duration
1,013 users online
75,833 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
A raider named raider... aww shit I gotta step it up if i'm gonna be writing my story sometime soon...
Hell yeah, an adventure! Fuck, I used to love this Indiana-Jones type shit when I was a kid. My bro, The Kobra Kid, would never shut the hell up about Indie's adventures, always want me to watch them over and over with him. This Daring Do character seems a lot like him... let's see what you got.
Grammar aside I think you may have something here.
this is good write more soon please
2375741 Will do, but school is being a great issues so expect some time between Chapters. Thanks for the fave.
hoping to see more :)
Chapter 5, coming soon.
This is an extremely underrated story. Good job so far!
3342938
Thank you. Leafz
Alright, I have now gotten myself caught up on this story to the point where I can join the others who traditionally yell MOAR
There are a few things about it that I'd really like to say. I'm an adventure sorta person, and I can see that you've attempted to create a rather different persona of Daring Do to the one we've seen from the show. I like that you've given her a bad attitude, although really, Raider probably has a sizable chunk of reason to do with that.
Your actual OC is not that bad. Raider makes me think of someone with the attitudes of Disney's Aladdin and Naughty Dog's Nathan Drake combined. He steals and pilfers, is fairly street smart and can talk himself out of a situation, like Drake. On the other hoof, he brings that side of Aladdin to the table where he's used to struggle and hardship, yet is compelled to be generous at his own expense in spite of that.
The only thing really making it hard to read is the grammar. Comparing this chapter to chapter one shows that you've had a significant increase in grammatical and spelling skill over the time it's taken to get this far. You're getting the hang of utilising proper sentence-structuring, putting quotes in the right places and not abusing the commas so much. But there's still definite room for improvement. I think that you seriously, desperately need an editor for this story. You've gotten the actual story part going alright, but having an editor fix everything up would make an immeasurable world of difference to the reading experience. I can personally push on with a story even if its littered with errors, however not too many people can. Seeing bad grammar in the first sentence of a story is a definite turnoff to about 95% of readers; so much that even if your story is truly epic, it will simply never be given the chance.
All things considered, I'd like to see future developments with it. I can't stress enough that adventure is my favourite genre to read. Slice of life/Shipping/Comedy are so over-rated it's not funny.
3360476
........... Wow. Just wow. No words at all.
I am pretty sure that not even my review will surpass that. Thank you........
Wow.