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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wow such low ratings. Guess I should have just ripped apart one of the main cast like everyone else then come up with something original
114659 There's no need to be so cynical, it's just that... well, it all feels a bit gratuitous. Essentially torture porn with no plot. On top of this, everyone except Scootaloo is just blatantly out of character with little explanation given. Why are they stuffing pillows with pegasus feathers? Why are they exporting ground-up unicorn horns? Why doesn't this bother anyone? Also, this should definitely be rated Mature, not Teen.
Yeah, definitely should be in the mature rating!!!
That also should have a gore tag!v
114665 I see your point, I was certain this was made clear when I mentioned the founding was when granny smith was young, meaning the current members have known about it a good portion of their lives to no longer be bothered by it. I could have had more negative reactions from sweetie belle but the focus here was scootaloo.
114678 there is no gore tag but I did change the rating.
No. Just no. There is nothing to get me to support this. Nopony is in character, a filly as young as scootaloo would not have responded as calmly as that, and just...
I'm sorry, according to one of your comments, you were attemPting to do something original, but this is NOT the way to do it.
Ugh... I think I'm gonna go write to try to forget this...
... It was at the vey least, sorta well written...
BOOORRRIINNNGGGG.
Hooray for another unoriginal Poorly written Gore fic. when will the cupcake Spinoffs End?
Who knows, But im sure that shit like this will disappear EVENTUALLY.
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
eeyup, that just happened
Now, c'mon guys. You don't have to troll so hard on this. While, i agree... the plot is less than original, and the ponies are OOC, the writing on the whole is fairly good. I don't think this is a 5 star story, but this writer shows a lot of potential.
Lunafan1k, this is directed towards you. Don't let overcritical bronies get you down, you are a good writer.
114963 yes I know, I just wanted to write something really gory as practice for the next part of the lich king fic I started. I also could have made this much better had it taken more than 5 hours to write.
114981
Well you could have stated that somewhere. It seemed like this was you trying to write something serious, not practicing
114990 well shit. Can't think of everything.
OH FOR THE LOVE OF, SWEETIE BELLE LIVE WITH HER PARENTS!! WHY DOESN'T THAT GO INTO YOUR SKULL, other than that, your fic is somewhat tolerably if too gorey.
I have to agree. If your lichking fic is this gory, I doubt that it will do well. Tone it down a notch, and you should be good to go.
115065 oh good, I'm a bit dull and can never tell. For a while I thought it wasn't gory enough, I had way more planned for celestias bit.
115075
Hm, perhaps I put that wrong. The Gore isn't the problem, more the way you present it. Ummmm, I'm trying to think of a good example. This is pretty good for a five hour story in any case. Have you ever tried writing this kind of fic before?
Um...well...it's very well written, but I think that either it should be divided into more chapters or you should try to put in more feelings. Maybe even try writing in first person?
Ah wait, I think I have the problem nailed down. You see, there are two main types of Gore you can put in these stories: Implied and graphic. Implied Gore is much harder to use effectively, but can evoke powerful emotions when written correctly. Graphic Gore is mire common, but even more disasterous when done wrong. A good example of graphic gore would be the dreaded 'cupcakes'.
Now, what you seem to have done is almost mix the two. You leave nothing to the imagination, but the torture scene sounds almost like a medical report. My advice? Read cupcakes, at least twice. You may get nightmares, but it is a great study.
115122 I have read cupcakes, a personal favorite. I have also watched just about every video on the net of people getting killed and murdered either in the name of revolution or for sick fun. Modern scary movies and gory films just isn't enough to sate my bloodlust I get from time to time.
Anyway, what story would be a good example of implied gore? I have never heard of this and may be of use.
Um... let's see. I know that it tried it in my fanfic, but it didn't turn out so good, so I don't suggest reading that. You know, I can't think of any Mlp fanfics that have good examples of implied Gore. I only know about it from this writing book that I got for Christmas. I'm sure if you take a look around the darker side of this fandom, you'll find plenty of examples. Otherwise, you'll just have to experiment to see what works. Sorry I can't be any more help than that.
115157
I know what kind of writing style you're talking about, but for the life of me I can't remember where I read it. Still, that's good advice, just keep on experimenting.
Dude that's creepy. But it wasn't good enough for me to create a vivid image in my mind. (Not that i wanted to).
... holy crap. It sure was a shock fest.
I think I'm going to be sick and have nightmares for the night. OH SHIT i DIDN'T DO IT TWILIGHT i NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT IT I SWEAR. i AM THE GUILD THE GUILD IS ME. you sir are a master of horror I still fear cupcakes but the short story was brutal good night sir I see you later.
I think I'm going to be sick and have nightmares for the night. OH SHIT i DIDN'T DO IT TWILIGHT i NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT IT I SWEAR. i AM THE GUILD THE GUILD IS ME. you sir are a master of horror I still fear cupcakes but the short story was brutal good night sir I see you later.
Interesting concept but feels like a gorefic and everypony is grossly out of character, this would only be somewhat redeemable if it served as the pretense for a larger scale story about stopping the guild rather than supporting it.
Well for practice it was good, simple and to the point.
i wouldnt thumb this down but i wouldnt up but theres 17 down and 16 up so im upping to remove discord from play
I found this very well written...
And then I got to the part about Twist. And my soul died.
Why couldn't it have been Rumble, or Diamond Tiara that Celestia tortured?
Then again, had it been Diamond Tiara in that chair, then the torture would have been over way too quickly.
1922295 People still read this? and i was in a twist hating mood at the time. for anti-diamond tiara please see my other fic Of Innocence Lost, it needs more recognition for its amount of amazing.
1923454 I found it one day and added it to my read list... which kept growing and growing... I finally picked this one to read. lol
I shall look up the other fic and add it to my list.
I would love a sequel if there was one. Is there one?
GALLIFREY RISES! GALLIFREY RISES!
couldn't help myself.