• Member Since 21st Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 23rd, 2018

Keanno


Comments ( 20 )

First! and awesome to see it finally here!~

hmmm looks good continue it

Nice, solid start. This could be very, very good! Keep it up!

What's this? an FOE fic not describing the adventures of a lesbian unicorn mare in the wasteland? A fic that's from the perspective of a Steel Ranger and will be focusing on the exploits of Old world soldiers and the horrors they faced? Sir (or Madam), you win the 'Most Original Fallout Equestria story' award, I am very much looking forward to more of this.
That being said, there are somewhat major grammar/word choice mistakes, nothing which truly breaks the story, but enough to break immersion, so I'd recommend doing some editing/corrections, this guide is good for general error correcting as well as for general story advice, also I could do some editing for you if you wish me to
Also, you can ignore a couple random downvotes, those are from FO:E haters/trolls who downvote every FO:E story.
Finally I'd recommend joining the FO:E Side Stories Compilation document and some of the FO:E groups here on FiMfiction if you haven't already just to get word out about your fic, to find people to pre-read and to bounce ideas off of, it's definitely good enough to belong in these places
Welcome to the FO:E herd! :pinkiehappy:

2272094

Well its a sir; and thank you. I enjoy the story of the old world in the many FoE story so I wanted to explore the concepts more. Though I need to get my butt back in gear and write again. The other goal of this story is to hopeful improve my spell and grammar so that is my goal. Write a story that tells the events of the war and get better at writing.

2273667 well, if you need any help with spelling and grammar, I can at least try to help

Fuckin war. Good chapter.

Oh I bet this is the first uses of the memory erasing spell. Good chapter again. :yay:

Another great chapter! I guess I'm seeing one of the reasons why Celestia resigned after Littlehorn happened, she knew she couldn't handle what came out of just border skirmishes, let alone total war.
Couple of typos here and there but otherwise very good.

Good chapter, comrade! :twilightsheepish:

Well, I deffinatly have to start reading this.
FOE from the POV of the GI.

5821105 Thank you. Hopeful when the insanity of trying to find better work. I will be able to write more.

Cool story, I like what I've read so far. A few grammatical errors here and there but an interesting read.

I think Bluemoon could have been a bit harsher, he seemed cute and cuddly compared to most D.I.s.

5985709 Thank you for your comment. I had a problem with Bluemoon trying to decide how much D.I. I wanted to put into him. I think I choice to make him a bit of a hard teacher instead of a normal instructor. Mostly because its early in the war no pony really has a Idea on how to full train raw recruits.

This intrigues me... Yes, shall read soon.

Soon…

~ Neon Lights

6202760 I will hope you enjoy the story =)

6375426

Thank you for your comment. I am sorry that the story did not pull you in. Feedback even the negative once are useful if you have and direct examples you like to share to help improve my work feel free to send a message.

Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)

6624870

Thank you for the promotion on your facebook page =)

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