Rarity, as the Element of Generosity, has always given to the less fortunate, sacrificing nearly anything to help them, without expecting even a word of thanks in return. But what happens when the one thing she never expected to lose, her sister, Sweetie Belle, is taken from her in a tragic accident, and what depths will she plunge to just to see her sister again?
Page generated in 0.103 seconds
Total duration
1,039 users online
1,560,376 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well, the devlopement of this story was weird. It started of inspired by this song: Baroque Nightmare, and was supposed to depict Rarity's fall and rise to become an evil queen of all Equestria, which I could then create a sequal about Twilights rebellion against the corupt Queen of Diamonds (Oh hey, I didn't even notice the similarity to Alice in Wonderland until now).
But, I found myself without an adequet excuse for Rarity's fall from grace- my best one was that she overheard some nobles talking rather rudely about her friends and her fashion, and then unspeakable dark forces started whispering in her ear, leading her to fight a war against celestia to overthow the diarchy and the rule of the nobles, but underwent a "She who fights monsters" and simply replaced Celestia and Luna as queen of Equestria.
The thing is, that was a realy weak excuse coupled with "the Nightmare possess another character again", indicating that Rarity was always a little bit evil and just needed a push. Which, admitidly, could make for an interesting story, but it wasnt the one I realy felt up to telling.
Then I came up with a great idea- Rarity's fall from grace needed an act so horrible, so traumatising, that it would scar her and infulence her actions throughout the story. But what could it be? The death of her sister, Sweetie Belle.
The problem with this idea is that it changed the theme of the story considerbly- Rarity doesn't want to be queen, because a queen can't bring back the dead. So I discared the queen idea and instead she became a wielder of black magic. And here we are. Enjoy.
Edit- Not sure where I got the name from, other than the depths of my imagination, but it was the only thing I could come up with. I like it, but I just feel it could be better.
Edit edit- I just realised that this is the second story I have writen in which Rarity jumps onto the crazy train. Third if you include My Little Evangelion, but she hasn't been introduced yet. Huh.
I honestly don't like this. This should be the first chapter, not the prologue. Oh, well.
Keep going though! I hope that it'll get better...
1469611
Well, the idea is that in chapter one, we jump back in time to just before Sweetie dies, so we can see Rarity's descent into evil first hand, then the prologue happens, then the conclusion.
I suppose I could work it so that the story starts at this point, but that would mean sticking the story on haitus for a month as I try to work out a new ending for the story. And besides, I am very fond of starting a story in medias res.
Was there anything else that stood out to you as being bad? I really need all the feedback I can get.
1469650
It takes years to become a necromancer.
Only EXTREMELY HIGH LEVEL spells require a sacrifice of any type.
And why does she go mad and evil, anyways? She had never seemed to do so in the show...
PM me, please. I don't want this debate to end up as spam on your bright and shiny stuff.
I'm interested in this fic. Remember to indent your paragraphs.
1472330
Huh. I remember reading on one of the self help guides for writing fics that you either indent your paragraphs or put a space between them, but not both as it was usually redundant.
Still, if you think it would improve the readability then I will fix it as soon as I get to a computer (stupid iPad not having a tab button).
1473021 If that's true, then my mistake.
1473935
Just looked it up- it turns out that just indenting, just putting a space between paragraphs or doing both are all perfeclty acceptable ways of formating a story. link.
So I think i'll just take the lazy path and leave it as it is.
WOW! As short as the prologue was, it immediately grabbed my attention. Favoriting and following.
As to it taking years to develop the necessary power and skills that we see with Rarity, who is to say that it hasn't been numerous years since Sweetie Belle passed on. Also, grief can be a powerful motivator for quick learning, and it is easier to learn the dark arts than it is the good traditionally.
My personal opinion on all this... (to the author) just write how your imagination puts the story together. It IS your story after all lol
1475337
Also, learning the dark arts helps when being tutored by a being of infinite darkness.
Glad you love it.
Fear the Wrath of my Inkscape skills! Muh-ha-ha-ha!
So yeah, i just quickly knocked up a cover pic in inkscape. Aint brilliant, but a) I cant draw, 2. I'm a little drunk and thirdly i am very lazy when it comes to this sort of thing.
1475452 Only a little drunk? Finish that beer and break out the 5th of vodka!
1476301
I would, but being unemployed puts a limit on how much I can afford to drink.
1478182 lol I can relate not having enough money for good potato juice where most of my money goes towards my truck or bike.
Hope its a decent beer at least lol
1478208
Yeah, it's alright stuff. Just cheep. My alcohol consumption should improve in about a week when my dads homebrew has finished cooking.
1478286 A good stout or porter? I prefer my beer dark with a powerful flavor lol
1478348
So do I. my dad's making a dark ale, which I am very partial to, and a batch of pale larger, which I'll happily drink if there isn't anything else. Which makes me sound like an alcoholic.
Of course, my all time favourite drink is a Zombie. Where's all the run gone? I drank it all!
Got a place in town that uses 151 when making their zombies! GOOD SHIT!!!
1478736
Not sure what my local uses, as the ingredients are rum, rum, rum, rum, flavouring of your choice (coke zombie is weird), fire. Going to try a chocolate orange one when I next have a chance- if it works I'll call it the zompony!