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Like many young ponies of her generation, Applejack is fascinated by the Canternet, that connects all personal computers in the world. She wants to share her passions and decides to make videos of her own, but whoever wants to be online should respect the rules of the online space. AJ, however, ignores a very important rule.
Cover Art: https://derpibooru.org/images/2528532?q=aj%2C+angry%2C+computer
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Ah, Applejack, you sweet Summer Child...what have you done?
11862141
Come now. Cut her some slack.
I mean, how far could these dang dirty trolls even go?
They would certainly never dare to show up at her doorstep to mess with her ... right?
"poking"
"wits' ends" (plural possessive)
"staple"
You mean her parents who died when she was a child? You should probably substitute "grandmother" here.
Both the capitalization and the apostrophe are unecessary: "vlogs".
The word you want is "subtly", not "subtlety".
Wrong verb tenses: should be "did" and "know".
I'm guessnig you meant "tough" here?
I don't know why so many writers get this wrong. Apple Bloom's name is two words, not one.
"Reckon" means "think", not "know".
Also, this could use the "Alternate Universe" tag, given the lack of computer tech in the show.
11862488
I'll correct the errors. Thanks. I write fast and often rely on autocorrect. Having to copy a lot from this Texan Twang Translator didn't help. I take no responsibility for AJ's monologue.
I meant her parents. Of course, they are dead (I consider a follow-up to the story where this part is even mentioned). She wasn't a toddler when they died, so it should still work.
I thought about using the AU tag, but don't you think that would be a bit overkill for such a short comedy story?
11862514
Accuracy is never overkill.
11862738
I thought about it. I think you're correct here, the tag would apply.
I have mixed feelings about this story. The premise is quite funny, and had a lot of potential, but I feel that the execution left a lot to be desired. There were some funny moments here and there, but for a silly comedy, it felt much too devoid of humor. The events and dialogue felt a bit too "real", which made it hard to laugh at. Aside from that, there were quite a few mechanical errors and some awkward dialogue that made for a somewhat difficult read.
11863820
This is based on two real streams and I tried to follow them as closely as I could, but I understand if this not everyone's cup of tea. If this was an original work, I couldn't have written such monologues.
(The real streamer is a lazy, friendless, liar, btw, so I had to make so twists to make this description apply to AJ)
I wrote this story almost exclusively in one go, and I noticed some mistakes my auto/grammar correct did not highlight afterward.
Are there some errors you noticed that stick out, so I can correct them (I don't have a person to proofread)?
Thanks for your input :)