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Where Are We Going?1,175 words
How To Grow A Horn In Seconds™3,411 words

How To Grow A Horn In Seconds™

If the gobbledygook that made residence in Discord’s mind knew that he was a few steps away from greeting Twilight’s guards, he would have strolled up in a dapper uniform, donning a top hat he could tip in their direction, and a rather collared shirt that popped out all the colors of his form.

Instead, he was just strolling up with Fluttershy without any of his attire, like he just owned the place and was tossing his carriage keys to the driver waiting outside.

Except there was no driver…

…or a carriage.

Discord mentally exhaled and took his final step. Then, the guards greeted them,

“Name?”

The other guard, whose eyes were wider than Celestia’s sun, stuttered out a reply, “Lance, t-that’s Discord!”

The guard named Lance, a tall stallion donning some colored armor that looks like Twilight’s coat, gasped. “Oh, it is Discord—and Fluttershy? Are you two here for Twilight?”

“Precisely,” Discord said with a bow. He patted Fluttershy’s mane, much to her chagrin. “Fluttershy and I have some… business with Twilight of utmost importance.”

“You may pass,” Lance declared with a bow.

“B-But—”

“Silver, he’s reformed, remember?”

The eep from the mare in armor made Discord smile. He turned to her and grinned. “There, there, Silver. You only need to worry partially about me. Besides, Lance is a very perceptive stallion. Do keep him close, especially around me.”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Pardon him. He’s with me today.”

“Guilty,” Discord said, throwing his arms up. He sighed. “Can’t escape my dear Fluttershy.”

“Would you even want to?” Fluttershy asked, tilting her head.

Discord smirked before showing his pearly white teeth. “Not one bit.”

The mare shakily smiled, and bowed. Then, the guards said in somewhat synch, “Welcome to the castle. W-We h-hope you enjoy your… stay!”

Discord frowned, worried that the mare was going to be served a prime ribbing from Lance, who had said it without a stutter at all, but he figured Lance was like him: a reformed villain who would forgive her without a second to think. Or maybe he would, in jest, make sure she knew that it was a bit offensive to think of him as an evildoer at this point.

After all, his time was done. He had Fluttershy now, and he wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

The two walked past the guards and into the castle. Upon entering, they were greeted by the pony they needed to see. She was a mare. A mare that was apparently in trouble, according to Fluttershy’s cutiemark. Fluttershy had commented on her cutiemark when Discord had noticed it on their walk. It was… a minor detail that raised the stakes a tad higher. And when he asked, she just said, “Oh it was doing that the entire time” and he was just supposed to know that it was going to do that. That’s how that worked, you know?

…

Anyway, that’s why they got there quicker. He had to make sure of it.

Now where was the purple pony—

“Hello, Fluttershy!”

Discord jumped nearly out of his skin, but he realized, upon looking down, that the purple pony he thought was actually there was a purple dragon, one that he knew very well. Did he need to get his eyes checked again by his eye doctor again?

“Hey, Spike,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “Good to see you’re awake.”

Spike itched the back of his neck, sheepishly smiling like he was about to kick a pebble near some random pond but wasn’t going to because someone important was watching. “It’s normal for me to wake up this morning, what with living with Twilight and all.”

“Better to be up than sleep in. There’s so much more to do in the morning!”

Fluttershy had practically sung her reply, and it was music to Discord’s ears. He wouldn’t admit that outright. No, no, no, that would be unbefitting of him unless it benefited her in any capacity. He just decided to jump into the conversation instead. “Hey, Spike.”

“Good morning, Discord.” Spike raised a brow. “I didn’t know she invited the both of you.”

“He’s…” Fluttershy began, only for her voice to fall off into itself.

This left Discord to step in. “I’m here to… assist in the chaos that Twilight wishes to evoke today.”

“Even if it kills you?” Spike asked.

“Wait, how is it going to kill me—”

“Don’t worry, that was a joke,” Spike said. He waved his arms out like he was trying to direct traffic in a school zone. “So you’re going to want to take a right, then go straight for a few doors down, then take a left. Keep moving past the random looking bush-thing that somepony dropped off last week, and then take a right at the door that looks like Star Swirl’s beard. The door across from that should be where Twilight’s at.”

Fluttershy raised her hoof.

“Yeah, Fluttershy?”

“Did the bush thing have a tag on it?”

Spike blinked. “Yeah, it did! How did you—”

“Somepony stole my bush again…” Fluttershy hung her head. “I don’t know why they want it so much.”

Discord was confused. “Is this the friendship problem, Fluttershy?”

Spike was also confused. “Friendship problem?” He looked at Fluttershy’s cutiemark. “Oh, wow, yours is glowing!”

“Friendship can be sometimes radioactive, Spike,” Discord said, twirling his mustache.

“Anyway,” Fluttershy butted in. She corralled Discord with her wing, and began walking using the directions that Spike gave. “Thank you for your help, Spike!”

Spike waved at them. “Have a good time. Don’t blow up anything!”

“Don’t worry, Spike. I’m two away from a tactical nuke,” Discord declared, giving Spike a claw-up, which the dragon reciprocated.

“Boys,” Fluttershy muttered, pulling Discord closer to her. “Come on, Discord. Twilight’s waiting for us.”

Discord mock saluted. He began walking on his own, no longer needing his Fluttershy’s support.

The two did exactly as Spike said, even going past the bush that was totally Fluttershy’s, before landing smack dab right at the door that Twilight was in. With a breath of courage (Discord knew, she took a deep breath for this one), Fluttershy knocked on the door.

No response.

Twice?

A pitter patter of hooves.

Thrice?

“Spike, I am busy getting the spell together! Please, just… come in if you’re going to disrupt—”

“It’s Fluttershy, Twilight.”

A gasp. More pitter pattering of hooves. They grew louder before the door SWUNG open.

“F-Fluttershy!” Twilight said, while panting heavily. She paused to catch up with the rest of her brain. “You’re… you’re finally here!”

“Spell?” Discord said, leaning on the wall. “What sort of spell?”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Uh… Fluttershy?”

“He’s here to help. Trust me.”

Twilight darted between the two, her gaze not sure of which one is lying, but ultimately deciding to just accept them, if her wings sagging was anything to go off of. “I suppose he can help. But no funny business, Discord!”

“Funny business? Sorry, you didn’t order the late night comedy show host, Twilight,” Discord proclaimed, attempting to summon a microphone to accompany a starry-eyed costume of glittery vengeance, only to instead summon a megaphone that only echoes every second word.

“This Į̶̝̣̼̩͚̙̯͎̖̝̳̾͊S̷͙̎̎̈́̄̚͠N̴̡̼̩̘̺͍̖̰̲̹͍̣͌͗̐̈́̊͛̽̀͐̀̾͂̊̐͝'̶̖̻̤̽̍͛͊̉͌̋̄́̉͊͊̔T̵̠̹͈̥̬̜͔̭̣̲̄̿̓̓̇̈́̉̓̑̿̂̎̾̕͜͝ funny B̶͖͋̀̾̌͒͂͗͂͌̏͆̅̽̊Ṳ̸̧̡̥̳͓̠͙͔̬̣̞͒͆̓͐͂̾Ṣ̴̢͖͍̰͑̅̂̃̽̐͗̽̆̕I̴̛̱̍̋̈́́͂̿̔̒̒͠͝Ń̶͖̹̀͛̇̃͑̓̿̒̍̑̇̄͐̀Ȩ̵̛̦̟̱̟̹͖̼̖͚̮̭͙̮̘͐͛͌́͆̋̀̀͋̈́̽̄͒̚S̶̫̏̿̏͗͌̀̾̉́̿͗̑̾́͘S̸̨̩͔͓̺̳̹̲̣̰̠̫͖̪̽́̾̈́́̆̒̇̈̊͗͆̚͜—”

He shoved the megaphone into a decrypt corner of his world through a torn piece of time he carved with his claw. The torn fragment blinked out of existence.

“I apologize… the megaphone didn’t exactly pan out the way I planned. My comedy career is now in shambles!”

“Don’t quit your day job,” Twilight said, before turning around and walking back into her hideaway.

Fluttershy and Discord followed suit, although Fluttershy did glare at him like she would turn him back to stone at any minute. He threw his arms up in defense, before waiting for her to pass. He eventually caught up to the two, as they were already standing next to a rickety table set in the corner. The room was mostly bare, save for a large arcane sigil hung on the wall. It pulsed happily.

“How…”

“Found it in a river beside the castle. Who knew ponies were just throwing away magical enchantments?” Twilight chirped this song-like fervor, as if she was saying something so matter-of-fact that even conspiracy theorists failed to counter it. She cleared her throat. “The sigil is here to help us today, as it will effectively act as a vector and a barrier, just in case this spell decides to sprout a third pony with violent tendencies out of nowhere.”

Fluttershy, being the confused pony at the moment, tilted her head again. Discord worried for her neck at this point. “Barrier?”

“Yes, Fluttershy. We need this in-between us, which, now that you mention it…” Twilight flicked her horn. She pulled the thing off its hooks, and with the power of the most strongest bearer of magic, gently settled it in place, standing upright when it shouldn’t be, as if it was bolted to the ground right in-between her and Fluttershy. “That’s better!”

“So…” Discord began, eying the whole science project with his now magicked-in monocle. He gave it a C on his hypothetical grading sheet, before magically plopping one in his claws and searing the C in red. “Now that you have this all set up, what is this spell you’re creating?”

Twilight smiled wide. “I’m glad you asked!” She fluttered her wings and explained her logic. “We are going to create a new spell that could change the trajectory of the entirety of ponykind! Anypony who struggles with flying or casting spells will be able to finally master the higher echelon of their natural ability. It’s—”

Twilight fizzled her horn. She sighed.

“Well, maybe I should do this whole explanation while I wait for my own horn to recharge. It’s a bit… on the fritz, since I’ve been here.”

“Magical interference?”

Twilight shook her head. “More like somepony spiked my milk this morning with a magical laxative. One moment, I’m splurging too much magic into one area, the next I’m waiting for it to recharge. Maybe I’m coming down with the sickness…”

“The… sickness?” Fluttershy the Questioning Pony™ questioned.

“Nothing a bit of bedrest won’t fix,” Twilight chimed in. She walked around the sigil and wrapped a wing around Fluttershy’s withers. “There’s no way I’d stay this way, but this has to be done today. I don’t want to inconvenience you or Discord by making you wait another day.”

“We’re both ready,” Fluttershy replied, returning the impromptu wing hug with a nuzzle. “Right, Discord?”

Discord gave a curt nod. “Right.”

“Thank you. Thank you both. I’m glad I have you two as friends.”

With that, Twilight returned back to where she was, behind the sigil, while Fluttershy just stood there, waiting… patiently…

“Anyway,” Twilight said, coughing into her hoof. “Like I was saying, this spell will basically allow anypony to unlock their full potential! However, it’s advised to only provide to those who actually need it…”

“Why’s that?” Discord asked while pawing at his chin. “If it unlocks somepony’s full potential, wouldn’t this be a very sought after spell?”

“Correct, except if somepony who doesn’t fit the criteria casts it, it will… uh…” Twilight sheepishly smiled. “It will tear them asunder.”

Fluttershy gasped and hid behind her mane.

Discord’s eyes boggled. He pushed the palm of his claw and paw to his head to get them back in order. “How… chaotic. Magical restructuring in the most pleasant sense of the word. Twilight, I’m not sure if I should be proud of that or not.”

“We’ll lean on the safer option, Discord. However, this is why I brought Fluttershy here to test.”

“W-Why me?” Fluttershy stuttered out. “Wouldn’t it not work on me?”

“Well, that’s the thing. It would. No offense, Fluttershy, but I know you’re not the strongest of fliers in Ponyville, so I believe by using this spell, we can see if it will increase your wing’s durability or possibly even your magic reservoir’s capacity.”

“But Twilight, Fluttershy does not have a horn—”

“Magic does influence even a non-unicorn’s capacity to interact healthily with their environment. Brush up on your Starswirl theory, Discord. It’ll help in situations like this.”

Fluttershy gulped. “S-So what do I need to do?”

“Spread your wings, Fluttershy and stay still,” Twilight directed, before sticking her tongue out like every movie director ever who wanted to get things just right would do. “Actually move to the right just a bit… and perfect!”

Fluttershy had moved over and spread her wings. She did have nice feathers, nice enough feathers even for a draconequus to admire.

Discord felt his face heat up just looking at her, but he kept his cool.

Twilight flicked her horn. It glowed a nice amethyst hue.

At first, nothing happened. It was like Twilight’s magic was flowing into the sigil, and then flowing toward Fluttershy’s wings like leftover pixie dust floating in a breeze. Discord thought it looked… different, like a subtle bit of chaos brewing right in front of him. He sensed it though, that something was amiss, but he did not dare utter it, as it wasn’t exactly his place. After all, Discord was not supposed to actually be here, and Twilight was a pony who hated disruptions.

So he literally zipped his lips shut and watched.

Suddenly, his chaos radar beeped loudly, and the room fell into darkness.

Then, Fluttershy pulsed like the sun, and flew out of the castle, breaking down several chunks of crystalline wall like it was flimsy cardboard.

Twilight gasped and jolted back. “Well, there it is.”

Discord glared at her, before unzipping his mouth to speak, “This is?”

“Well, she just tore the sound barrier. Hopefully she knows how to—”

In an instant, Fluttershy blinked right back into existence right in front of them. She was panting and heaving hard. Discord went over to her immediately, and propped her up. Her entire body was begging for breath and she was not having it.

“Twilight, what did you do?”

“I… made it to where you are able to fly without any issue! Even at speeds that—”

“Okay, the speeds are way too fast. But I do feel… lighter now.”

“Let me verify,” Discord said, holding her up with one finger of his claw. “Yep, she’s lighter than a kilogram of feathers, or maybe even a kilogram of steel.” Discord rubbed his beard. “Say, her wings didn’t change. Is that…”

“That’s the magic. Looks like it worked, but I think I need to go back and make some changes. Maybe cut the power of the spell by around three-fourths of its power. Going too high here was both a failsafe and a mistake at the same time.” Twilight was rubbing her chin the entire time she was saying this with her hoof. She then put her hoof down and nuzzled Fluttershy. “Thank you for helping me, Fluttershy. I’m so happy you helped me out with this!”

“No problem,” Fluttershy said, before nuzzling her friend. “Now, how can I get this magic out—”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “One second, the sigil will suddenly—”

The sigil glowed.

Fluttershy gasped, before SCREAMING HER LUNGS OUT.

Twilight and Discord hunkered down. They covered their precious ears from their friend, whose pained shrieks were filling the room.

And then it was over.

Fluttershy was panting once again, glaring at the two like she was just seeing her maker. “Twilight, please never cast that on me again.”

Twilight jotted down some notes. “Sorry, that was not part of the spell. It’s like the sigil just yanked the magic out of you. Looks like I need to establish a better vector, this sigil could cause more harm than good.”

Discord also glared at Twilight. “That’s an understatement. How did—”

“Now I see why the sigil was thrown out. The… unorthodox tendencies may have stemmed from its construction...”

“You call that unorthodox? Twilight, she just shattered the sound barrier both literally and magically,” Discord proclaimed, still nursing his precious ears. He turned to assist Fluttershy, leaning up against her to prop her up. “Fluttershy, are you okay?”

Fluttershy shared a weak smile with Discord. She licked her lips. “I-I’m fine. I just… wasn’t expecting the pain.”

“Scale?” Twilight asked with a tilt of her head.

“Like an eight…” Fluttershy trailed off. “What? Did something happen—”

Discord could not feel his jaw. He was… confused. How had a horn sprung from Fluttershy’s head? Where did it come from? He blinked, and observed it closely: it was large, pointy, and definitely something that Discord could imagine skewering something with.

“Um… wow. Fluttershy, you have a horn now!” Twilight exclaimed, also observing her like Discord had done.

Fluttershy shook her head to try and shake the thing off, but it stayed there, not leaving. “I am not sure how to feel.”

“Me neither,” Discord said, flicking his paw at it. It made Fluttershy wince. “Oh, sorry. Was just testing to see if it was real or not.” Discord turned to Twilight. “Say, you think you can remove it from her head? It’s… not like her.”

Twilight sighed. “Well, this is another byproduct that I didn’t think of. Stay put, I think I know the spell.”

“Do we need the sigil?”

Twilight literally blinked that thing out of the room. “No. It’s going into storage where it belongs.”

Twilight closed her eyes and hummed to herself. Slowly, her horn surged that amethyst color, it funneled around Fluttershy’s horn.

And then, it was gone. Removed. No longer there. Like it was a mirage.

Fluttershy touched the top of her head. “Thank Celest—”

Then it appeared again.

“Okay, so that spell only temporarily removed—”

Twilight was pushed aside. He was tired of seeing this spectacle. Even if he enjoyed a slow-burning tidal wave of chaos, he was not going to let it hurt his Fluttershy. Not one bit.

Discord drew close, now closing his eyes as he brought his paw to the unwanted appendage. He took a deep breath and snapped his claw.

He thought about all the times he was with her. How could he just exist with her? Live.

It was all he wanted.

Vibrant colors burst in front of his eyes, overcoming him as he surged what magic was in his reservoir.

And then it was over. The horn was gone. Permanently.

“D-Discord?”

Discord’s heart pounded in his ears. The rush of adrenaline coursing through him like he had just blinked fifty of him in one room, and they were all singing Kumbaya. “I-It’s done. Although, I think I forgot to carry the one, so Fluttershy, you may—”

Suddenly, her horn reappeared and turned the entire castle into swiss cheese. And then it disappeared, doing a barrel roll on its way out of their lives.

Discord pursed his lips. “Well, that was not what I thought it was going to do.”

Twilight was stuttering as the room stinked on a cheese she never knew would be in her test room. “Discord! Can you change this back to my castle?”

Discord shook his head. “I’m not an architect that knows the layout of your castle, nor am I able to summon this on demand—” He felt some of his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches attempting to make a return tour in his mouth. “I-I need to recharge just like you.”

Purple Prench Pony growled. “Agh, just get out! I need to somehow fix all this. Hopefully my books didn’t turn into swiss cheese so I can find the spell I need and…”

Discord and Fluttershy hurried out of the room, leaving Twilight to her cheesy paradise.

The duo walked into Ponyville, taking one last look at the castle as it slowly morphed from the cheesy castle it had turned into, to a slow moving revitalization of what it was before, without them being involved.

Fluttershy turned to Discord. “I… Do you think she’ll be okay?”

Discord gently placed a claw on her withers. “Of course, Fluttershy. She knows what she is doing… I think. Hopefully she’ll figure it all out. Besides, she wouldn’t become less of a friend to you over this, right?”

Fluttershy nodded meekly, before taking one final look at the castle. She shied away from Discord’s claw, and began walking again. “Let’s go. We have to go visit Rainbow Dash next.”

Discord sighed and followed after her. “Coming!”

Her cutie mark unbeknownst to her, continued to glow, pulsing in the sunshine of the late morning haze. A bird chirped overhead.

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Soaring

Soaring #1 · January 12th · 1 · ·

Two down, three more to go! Hope everyone is enjoying the fic.

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Love how you're finding the little nuances here, and thanks to you, this chapter has even more of them. Thank you for your comment, and I hope you enjoy the rest of what I have planned.