• Member Since 7th Jul, 2021
  • offline last seen March 8th

Rose1453


Just a person who really likes MLP.

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Rarity has put on some weight and must now consider the weightier issues of such gains. She will have to realize that she will not get rid of her gains without some pains.

P.S.-I had posted this story a few years back not knowing how to take it forward. I am putting it up again so it isn't simply sitting is a dusty storage area.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 5 )

Why aren’t there any genre tags?

:twilightsheepish: So before your diet and weight program what the Doctor say?
:duck: I'm pregnant...
:rainbowhuh: But you're not dating any pony.
:raritystarry:
:twilightoops:
:ajsmug: Oh I know who...
:pinkiesmile: Me too
:moustache: Hi everyone what's up?
:facehoof:

Okay, not sure what to comment on other then you have the first chapter title misspelled. Enjoying so far though.

This is a pretty cute story so far. The premise is a bit silly, but that's fine for a lighthearted comedy like this. You seem to have a good sense of comedy, as there are lots of funny moments, but these are somewhat dragged down by the execution. Your prose is very simple in places, and there are quite a few mechanical errors throughout. I think if this had gotten some more proofreading, and maybe some more detailed prose, this could have been a lot better.

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