A thousand years prior Princess Luna in her sadness, hate, and bitterness attempted to wrest control of the Equesterian throne. Her attempt failed just like in the main timeline but unlike the main timeline it wasn't Nightmare Moon that was banished, she didn't exist in this timeline, just Princess Luna. Now 1000 years have passed and the stars have aided her in her escape from her prison. Yet little does Princess Luna know that 5 years prior something terrible occurred on the surface of the planet. What will she find and who will she find when she lands on the planet's surface?
Chapters (2)
How is this a slice of life story?
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Corrected.
Very interesting. Can’t wait to read future chapters!
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I'm still quite new to writing. Please feel free to let me know what you enjoy overall though. I thought the concept itself was an interesting one to try at the very least.
Crazy to think that such a thing could happen.
For many people, dying is peaceful. The person may not always recognise others and may lapse in and out of consciousness. Some people have phases where they ...There are four major stages of death a dying individual experiences and those are; social, psychological, biological and physiological . Social death is the symbolic death of the patient in the world the patient has known.What happens in the 24 hours before death? Someone who is close to death will spend most of the time asleep. They slope unblocked may not be able to communicate when they are awake because their senses are failing. However, they may still be able to hear, so speak to them normally.They are likely to spend more time sleeping, and will often be drowsy even when they are awake. They may also drift in and out of consciousness. Some people become completely unconscious for periods of time before they die - this could be for a short period or as long as several days.
With the word purposely you're missing an e.
The sisters should have an 's. Overall this first chapter is intriguing. I can't wait to see where you go from here. Also like your portrayal of Luna and I am glad she was herself when she returned. Given everything that happened Nightmare moon was the last thing Celestia needed. Why do I have a feeling she's hiding something? Oh well, update soon
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I did notice several grammar issues, but I don’t feel like addressing them all right now. I think a quick read through with the “read aloud” feature on word or something will clear up most of it though.
The part I like most is the mystery aspect. I’m curious to see how it all unfolds. What happened? What’s gonna happen next? You’ve done well in hooking me into the story 😊
This has promise but you really need an editor. All sorts of small and large mistakes.
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There are some ideas in science that bacteria or viruses can hitch rides on asteroids or meteors staying dormant until they land. It hasn't been proven that I'm aware. I thought the combination concept of an absolute doomsday with only the two sisters left, possibly Cadance, would be a good place to look at.
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Yeah, it would be helpful there's no question on that.
I only have two questions, why doesn't the "Cadence" tag appear in your story? And, does the mirror portal exist in this universe?
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It doesn't no. That's part of the reason it's listed in a different universe. I thought I had corrected it to include Cadance in the tag, but it must not have taken. I've corrected it.
That's quite sad but its a very unique way to start a story. I don't think I ever read one like that. I'll be looking out for what happens next.
I really love this so far!
A disease that only kills intelligent species, sounds rather convenient to me. Gee look at that a lovely planet just asking to be settled. Let's move in.!