Gundams Curse

by Violet_09

Chapter 4 - Beware the Masked Pony

Diamond Tiara's freedom is soon coming to an end. Within the next two weeks, during the summer sun celebration, she will be married to a stallion who doesn't even love her. The worst thing is that no one seems to care, everypony in this town knows about the situation, everypony chooses not to help her.

Diamond believes that this is karma for being such a rotten filly when she was younger. So she does not blame ponies for ignoring the fact that she's being forced to marry a stranger, and even if they did try to help it wouldn't make a difference. Her parents have enough money to make anypony turn a blind eye.

Running away was her only option, but every attempt so far has failed. If she does manage to escape and successfully run away, she'll use the money she took from her father and buy a cottage in the middle of nowhere and live out the rest of her days in peace.

But for now, she just needs to get through today. "Diamond!" Called Soiled Rich from downstairs. The old mare hasn't aged well, though her good looks weren't there to begin with. Her wrinkles make her look like the hag she always acted, even her marionette lines around her mouth show how miserable she is Yet despite this she hides most of her wrinkles behind several layers of make-up. "Diamond, you up yet?! You remember that today is the day you're going to meet your future husband right?" How could she forget? She says it as if her parents haven't been planning her wedding for years.

The young mare sighed. After getting her mane tidied she came downstairs where she was greeted by her mother and father. While Diamond's mother aged like milk, her father Filthy Rich has aged like fine wine. The only evidence that proves he has been getting older is that his hair is greyer, small wrinkles on his face and the fact he keeps complaining that his back aches every day.

"There she is, our pretty little girl." Filthy says proudly to his daughter. Diamond didn't respond, she just avoided eye contact. "Come now, this is a big day for you. You're gonna meet your fiancé for the first time."

"Great, I'm gonna meet the stallion that will make my life even more miserable than it already is." Diamond spoke.

"Young lady that is not how you should speak about your future husband, I don't understand why you dislike him." Spoiled Rich says with her usual snobbish tone.

"Well, first of all, I'm not even remotely attracted to stallions, second of all I don't dislike him I hate him."

"You're still going on about this lesbian thing? Ugh, I hoped you moved past that phase by now." Spoiled Rich doesn't even try to hide her bigotry. Her daughter meanwhile felt disgusted hearing her mother say such awful things to her.

"Let's not talk about this sensitive topic in our house dearie." Filthy Rich wants to avoid an argument between the two mares.

"Tsk, fine." Diamond also didn't want to argue. She's tired of talking about her sexuality to her parents who don't want to understand her.

Spoiled Rich sighed. "Listen, we're only doing what's best for you. So please don't try and run away again. We don't want rumours flying around about you being a runaway bride during the wedding ceremony."

Diamond didn't waste her breath arguing with her mother even though she wanted to. "Well of you go, he's waiting in our garden with your maid."

"Well, I best protect her then. Honestly, Silver Spoon would never survive without me."

When she made her way outside she saw a unicorn sitting down and sipping some tea, as soon as Diamond appeared his smile grew. He placed the tea down gently and he spoke. "Diamond Tiara, I'm pleased to finally meet you." The first thing that she noticed about this particular pony was that he wore a pristine grey mask with six blue lenses like an insect covering the upper parts of his face. His white fur complements his long and lustrous mane, which is an almost perfect shade of blonde. "Please take a seat."

The young mare maintains her composure and sits down and Silver Spoon pours her some tea. "Are you okay?" Diamond asked with a hushed whisper to her oldest friend.

"I'm quite alright, he's just so polite. And very calm." Says Silver Spoon. Her best friend became her maid so that she could start earning money to go to college one day, however, she has a recent hobby addiction that's both expensive and she finds embarrassing to talk about. Diamond offered her a job and she accepted. Simple as that.

"Sugar?" The masked stallion asked politely.

"I prefer my tea strong, not sweet." Diamond rejected the stallion's offer.

"Hm, how quaint." His smile does not falter. Diamond takes a small sip of her tea. In truth she likes her tea very sweet, she usually has two spoonfuls of sugar in her tea, she just doesn't want to be seen as complacent in this forced marriage.

"I suppose you're the stallion I am forced to marry?"

"No." The stallion says. "Forgive me Ms. Tiara, but my son couldn't quite make it today. So I am here in his stead." He apologises for his son's foolishness with no hint of anger in his voice, just disappointment.

"Then may I at least know the name of who I am to marry?"

"That would be Prince Onyx. I am Prince Blueblood. However, since we will be seeing each other more often now, you may address me as just Blueblood."

"As you wish." Diamond tries her best to remain well-mannered in front of her future father-in-law. "Your name sounds familiar, were you one of Rarity's ex-boyfriends?"

"Rarity huh." Blueblood recognises that name. "How could I forget the mare who humiliated me? And in front of my Aunt no less."

A smile forms on Diamond Tiara. "I remember you know, you're the Stallion who made a fool of himself during the Grand Galloping Gala. And if I remember correctly, you were very rude to Rarity and treated her like she was nothing. Why should I marry your son if he might treat me the same way?"

His smile disappears. "You may leave us maid." Blueblood says with a hint of venom in his voice. "Now." Shaken by the prince's sudden change in demeanour, Silver Spoon bowed and entered back into the house. He then continued his conversation with Diamond Tiara. "You'd be a fool to think I'm the same pony from back then. That brat I used to be is dead, he died when I put on the mask."

"To hide your shame?"

"To hide my injury."

"Huh?"

"I lost half my face during the changeling attack from ten years ago. Did you know they used to have acid for blood before they reformed? I sure didn't. It was the most painful experience I was forced to endure, I almost died if it wasn't for Twilight Sparkle. And when I found out the extent of my scar and the fact it rendered me half-blind. I decided from then on, I will never show any form of weakness or cowardice ever again." After Blueblood's backstory, Diamond is left speechless, but she isn't sorry. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent." The masked prince's smile returns.

"I-It is quite alright Prince Blueblood. But why should I have to marry your son? Why am I forced into this arraignment?" The mare finally asks a big question.

Prince Blueblood rubbed his chin as if he were pondering an answer to the question he already knew. "I shall be honest with you. This has nothing to do with money or power. It's about vengeance." And he doesn't elaborate any further.

"Vengeance?" Diamond seethed. "What does that have to do with me!? My freedom is on the line and you just bat it off like I mean nothing?! You do realise I'm not into stallions right?! So I'm useless to your plans!"

"Far from it. And so what that you're into mares. It changes nothing, you and my son can just share a mistress once you get married."

"Y-You're disgusting."

"And your a spoiled young mare who's learning that karma is a bitch. Yes, I am disgusting. But so is every noble in the Canterlot elite. I'm not special, and neither are you."

"Tsk, just keep me out of this scheme of yours! I will not let my name be sullied by a stallion such as you! You nobles can kill each other off for all I care!"

"My, My. Big words coming from the spoiled brat. Maybe I need a different way to make you comply hmm..." Blueblood begins to think, but it doesn't long for him to come up with an idea. "Perhaps if I kill all the ponies you ever cared about in this town."

Diamond's eyes widen her heart races ever so slightly. "I don't have friends. Y-You're bluffing."

"Really?" Blueblood then began to list Diamond Tiara's friends. "Silver Spoon, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Rumble, Twist, Pipsqueak...And Applebloom. Does that sound like a bluff to you?" Blueblood smirked, he had her trapped in a corner now.

"How did you...How did you know their names?"

Blueblood did not answer, instead, he continued his threats. "Let us not forget your mother and father either, yes I know you hate them. But not enough to kill them. I could have them gone within the hour and their blood will be on your hooves. Unless you stop trying to be a runaway bride and comply with my orders."

"I...Y-Y-You won't get away with this."

"My dear. I already have. I'll see you in two weeks." And with that. Prince Blueblood left the premises.

---

After the meeting with Prince Blueblood, Diamond Tiara decided to go for a stroll around town. But to avoid her running away again her parents appointed Silver Spoon to watch over their daughter. "Such a horrid, insolent stallion! Threaten me does he?! I hope he rots in Tartarus for all I care!" Diamond Tiara muttered to herself.

"Something troubling you?" Silver Spoon politely asked.

"It's that Prince Blueblood!" Diamond says. "He said some terrible things to me in there."

"Oh but he seemed rather nice, but then again you know ponies better than I do."

"Oh, and you know what he said to me?" Diamond was about to tell her best friend that he threatened to take the lives of the ponies she cared about, but she couldn't. If that stallion knows about her friends then he must have eyes and ears everywhere. So she says to Silver Spoon. "He...He said that me and his son could share a mistress if we didn't love each other."

"...I-I'm sorry what?"

"It's true! He said that without a care in the world. Honestly, if I see his face, again I might just...just-"

"Knock his lights out?"

"Exactly," Diamond grunted in annoyance. "Things would be better if I just ran away from home then my life would be so much better than it is now." She sighed and changed her demeanour to a much less angry mood. She just wants a change of pace for now, so Diamond decided to change the subject. "After all that trouble, I'm gonna need to do something fun for once. Come, we'll do some shopping while we're out."

This surprised Silver Spoon, those two haven't been shopping since they were fillies. "Wait you mean it?" Silver Spoon asked. "Does that I'll visit my favourite store?"

"Yes of course." Diamond nodded. "But I still don't understand how you got into rock music in the first place?"

"I-It's complicated. Maybe I'll tell you before the um...you know."

"Don't remind me." Diamond sighed. "Let's get going then." The two started their small shopping trip. They browsed several different stalls and stores before the two came across the record store named 'Vinyl Record.' The store is owned by a retired DJ who used to be very popular, arguably she's still popular even to this day.

When entering the store Silver Spoon was in her element. This is still surprising to Diamond Tiara considering the fact that she never showed interest in rock music when she was a filly. But Ponies change, and Diamond knows this for a fact. Yet Silver Spoon is taking her time browsing the store. A very long time. She's just in her little world of music.

But this could be Diamond's chance to escape, this is a great opportunity that she can't pass. This may be her last chance. So while Silver Spoon was distracted by records and CDs Diamond carefully slipped away from her maid without making a sound. 'Sorry Silver Spoon.' As soon as her friend was out of sight, Diamond Tiara ran.

She ran and ran, swerving out of the way of other ponies in town and doing her best to avoid detection by the guards. Her father practically paid them to keep an eye out for her in case she tried to run away, luckily they're bad at their jobs so it won't be difficult to sneak past them. However, if she gets caught the guards will take her back to her parents. When Diamond is sure she's safe to sneak past the guards, she quickly trots away into alleyways and into crowds to avoid detection.

Eventually, though she manages to get to the top of the at the border of the Everfree Forest. This is the furthest she managed to get to leaving this town behind. She's almost free, all she has to do is run. "Hey!" Someone called to her. Diamond's heart stops for a moment. She turned around and saw Silver Spoon who looked out of breath.

"How? How did you manage to follow me?" Diamond Asked.

After catching her breath Silver Spoon says. "I Know you too well, I knew you might pull something like this so when you weren't by my side I knew you'd either make your way to the train station or near the border of Ponyville."

Diamond takes a step back. "I'm not getting married Silver Spoon. I can't let my mother and father dictate my life choices."

"I know how you feel, but I can't let you throw everything away. I'd still be by your side after you get married, I-I'll still be there for you."

"That's not the point!" Diamond Tiara yells at her best friend. "If I let ponies tell me what to do all the time! If I let ponies control my actions, give me away to some stallion I still haven't met yet then my life is worthless!"

Silver Spoon felt saddened that Diamond would say that. "...Y-You're not worthless to me...never to me." She takes a few steps forward, Diamond takes a few steps back. Then all of a sudden Diamond Tiara tripped on a rock and fell backwards into the Everfree Forest. Silver Spoon tried to rush in to catch her but by then she was rolling deep into the forest. Diamond kept falling until she hit her head on the base of a tree, knocking the young mare out cold.

Later when she woke up, she felt dizzy, her head hurt and she saw a giant white machine staring down at her. Diamond got up and quickly backed herself away from the machine in fear until she realised it wasn't reacting to her movements. It isn't awake so there's no way it can harm her in any way. Diamond inspects it for a moment. This white bipedal machine is not of this world.

Then she heard someone talking. Diamond eavesdrops on the conversation, and that's when she hears a familiar voice. "Are you sure she's okay?" It was Applebloom's voice.

"She's okay, she's just knocked out cold. I put a bandage over her head and made sure there weren't any open wounds. Just a bump on her head, she's okay." A stranger spoke to Applebloom.

Applebloom sighs in relief. "Thank goodness. If you hadn't been there Suletta. Diamond might've been eaten by a manticore, or worse a Timber wolf."

"You worry too much Applebloom. Anyway, I think she's good enough to get back into your town safely, I don't like the idea of keeping her here any longer."

Hearing this Diamond Tiara came out of hiding and said. "I'm not going back to Ponyville even if it kills...me... what?" Seeing Suletta for the first time, she doesn't know what to make of her she doesn't know what the heck she even is. Bipedal, red hair, dark skin and blue eyes. Suletta is completely alien. "Wha...what are you?!" She screams in terror.

"Diamond relax, t-this is Suletta Mercury. She is a human. also, she's my new friend." Applebloom explains calmly to not scare Diamond Tiara any further.

"...Wh-what?!"

Author's Note:

I wanted a villain on par with the villains in different Gundam series, like Char or Prospera. But I didn't know who would've fit the bill at the time, but eventually I thought Prince Blueblood might be perfect as a villain.

I made him sly and manipulative. His status and wealth would make anyone follow him, and since he appeared in one episode of MLP I could be a little bit more creative in his personality and backstory. I still want to keep the fact that he's an asshole, but I believe I nailed that.

Tell me what you think of this version of Blueblood

Comments

[Status L]

Author's Note:

I wanted a villain on par with the villains in different Gundam series, like Char or Prospera. But I didn't know who would've fit the bill at the time, but eventually I thought Prince Blueblood might be perfect as a villain.

I made him sly and manipulative. His status and wealth would make anyone follow him, and since he appeared in one episode of MLP I could be a little bit more creative in his personality and backstory. I still want to keep the fact that he's an asshole, but I believe I nailed that.

Tell me what you think of this version of Blueblood

I think it is realy interesting it is not often that Blueblood gets to be a vilain I also like the Vidar cosplay. (I wonder where he got it.)

[Violet_09]

11781290
I didn't plan on it being a vidar reference. I just thought six eye lenses would cool on a mask for a gundam villain

[Status L]

11781306
Wait no Vidar only has four and it was someone else with white hair I'm getting my masked characters messed up!
Cool sign tho.

[Violet_09]

11781524
It's okay, I understand.

There's a lot of char clones so it's easy to get mixed up.

[Blankscape]

Finally got through this. Here are my honest thoughts and notes.

The explanation for why Sulleta and Ericht end up in Equestria is alright, but the story is pretty rocky all throughout.

The beginning throws a lot G-Witch jargon and exposition as if it's all perfectly understood for those who haven't watched the show. Needless to say, that made it a slog to get through in spite of the relatively short chapter length. And as someone who has watched show, to me it seems like you're trying to shove as much things from G-Witch & gundam tropes you can without much tact or careful planning. Like Blueblood being a Char clone or Applebloom & Diamond Tiara as a parallel to Suletta & Miorine. It's all just stuck on there like throwing things at a wall and hoping stuff will stick. You also gloss over a lot of details, such as the pain from the data storms, or why Ocellus ends up as a researcher/investigator. Even though you say it's been two months, the effects of the pain haven't been conveyed enough for it to have impact. And Ocellus knowing and spouting gundam jargon out of the blue with a straight face is unconvincing and forced. Why does she have this job, and why does the mystery of Aerial grab her attention so much? These were never explained, which make it hard to care about Ocellus's part of the story. A lot of other things are like that too; such as Starlight firing Ocellus like some run-of-the-mill employee, Silver Spoon being Diamond Tiara's maid, Diamond not being their friends contrary to the events of 'Crusaders of the Lost Mark' and Blueblood having a child. He hardly had much of an appearance in the actual show himself, but doing some quick math, if Diamond is 16 in this story and assuming the foal characters were 8-10 in the show, that would make his son less than 10. Just because the AU tag is an option doesn't mean you can deviate from the canon without explaining why the differences exist.

Also, you seem fixated on shipping female characters. Personally, I prefer traditional hetero romances, but even still, you're just really rushing it way too fast here. Applebloom and Diamond are suddenly into mares like a lightswitch, which is convenient for a Suletta-Miorine counterpart, and Ocellus and Smolder are together out of the blue. As a great example, Rekindled Embers really develops out a fleshed out romance between the OC knightess main character and Rarity. And for a recent example from Gundam IBO, the plot thread of Yamagi coming to love Shino is very well written even though it is just C plot, and so is the relationship between Kudelia and Atra in the end.

You also use some tropes straight from the mold so to speak; like 'bigoted conservative rich parents,' 'runaway princess,' and 'scheming evil noble.' Which isn't damning by themselves, but your execution of those tropes is thread bare and very uncomplicated. You're still at chapter 4 and the supposed villain already revealed his plan, which is way too fast. And even if it is a red herring, it is too ham-fisted and upfront to believe.

Most of all, the biggest issue I can point out is that your writing has no sense of gravitas, flow, or intrigue. You're just writing things plainly as if it's right in front without much excitement or intricacy. Here's an example;

"Things would be better if I just ran away from home then my life would be so much better than it is now." She sighed and changed her demeanour to a much less angrier mood. She just wants a change of pace for now, so Diamond decided to change the subject.

The line i italicized in the chapter 4 snippet, it feels like you're tacking words directly onto the character or just loudly saying what they are doing/feeling. There isn't much all in the way of nuance or flourish or intimacy or impact. Since you're the author, you can directly imagine how things are in your head, but readers with standards need carefully crafted words to get the same image. This issue is most prominent in chapter 1 when you are trying to describe the battle at Quiet Zero and also in chapter 3 when the Aerial defended the griffon from those 3 dragons. Your grasp of the choreography of battle is flimsy at best, and you have no depth at grounding the space or the actors (combatants & spectators) present. Describe the machines, say how their energy weapons or thruster bells light up and roar. Describe the damage, or the crash of things colliding. Use words to show how dragons flap their mighty wings, or their throats expand when they breath fire. You need to compose descriptions that are expressive and succinct at the same time and encompass the scene you want readers to see. You'll need to work on your writing style more, and elevate it past the 'everyday' level that you're capable of now.

Overall, the story and writing used to convey it is pretty rushed and cobbled together. Everything is surface level and unconvincing, such as Blueblood using the arranged marriage or Ocellus being an investigator but her superior is a school principal. Not to mention, there are still some errors with punctuation, and capitalization here and there (which is also present in the snippet, and Permet is spelled with an 'e.')

In anycase, if you're fine with what you've written so far, don't let me stop you. This is all honest constructive criticism, but it's only as useful as much as you can reflect and act on it.

[Violet_09]

11785084
Honestly I knew something was off with my writing style. I guess it's my fault trying to rush things out on a weekly basis, which I know will burn me out sooner or later. I should plan things out more instead of adding ideas that I like to a wall. Well it gives me an excuse to try and flesh out the next chapter a lot more.

Also thank you for the feedback, I've been wanting feedback on this for a while now. So I'll do my best to re-write a couple of chapters, mainly chapter 3 and 4 before I continue with chapter 5

Edit: I just had a realisation while trying to rewrite chapter 3. I can't write action to save my life.
pbs.twimg.com/media/GAJf09dXsAA5-tW?format=jpg&name=small

[Blankscape]

11785106
Glad you're taking my feedback well.

Another thing I forgot, the environment is another tool/aspect you can use. Did a tree, or building break? Something in the environment might get in the way.

Also, I forgot tenses. You had some inconsistent tense back there. Consistent word tenses help make the flow of reading easier.

And I really should have done this myself earlier, but a good way to practice writing action scenes is to try writing down scenes from shows and cartoons. MLP doesn't have many good fights and most of it is watered down in terms for violence and action because of its age rating and audience. Is there a show you like that has good fight scenes? A cartoon or anime will work. Just look at the screen and write down what you see, but not just plainly.

In addition to keeping a bead on the space and actors, and the pointers I laid out, keep in mind the exact words you use too. Since English is really a frankenstein language bundled in a trenchcoat, a lot of everyday words we take for granted come from old germanic, old french, or anglo-saxon origins. You don't have to know which is which, but getting a feel for the best word or phrase to use helps a long way. 'Establish' is one such example, coming from a french origin. And while pig/pork, beef/cow, and mutton/sheep mean the same thing, the words were used by different classes in a time when french was the language of aristocracy. So knowing when to use a set of words VS another can set the tone. All of these go doubly for all the different verbs out there.

Not to toot my own horn, I'm actually working on a long project with a particularly lengthy fight scene about 5k or so between RD and Rarity. I think it would help you if you had a read through. Let me know if you want a gander.

[Violet_09]

11785786
It's fine I appreciate the honest feedback.

I tell you what, I'll leave the rewriting for now and practice adding more depth, that way I'll feel more confident with my writing.

Not to toot my own horn, I'm actually working on a long project with a particularly lengthy fight scene about 5k or so between RD and Rarity. I think it would help you if you had a read through. Let me know if you want a gander.

Which one is that? I might give it a read

[Blankscape]

11785794
It's actually a bit further from the start of my new story which has only 1 chapter yet. I'm working on getting ahead before I update with the next chapter. Here's a gdoc with excerpt of the fight.

Just a heads up, it's fairly wordy. I wanted to be extensive in the descriptions and really hammer the scene in. The standard I set for myself is kinda crazy, if I do say so myself.

[Violet_09]

11786027
Jesus Christ that was a good fight. I hope that I can write action like that, where did you learn to write action like that?

[Blankscape]

11786166
I was actually surprised that fight turned out so good when I finished it. I knew I wanted RD & Rarity to fight, and that was the bare outline of it--didn't have the tiny details planned to be there from the start. When I was writing about the bread-&-butter sparing-esque part, I thought about Rarity's magic and the environment, came up with the heavy rain trap for RD. Keeping in mind that I wanted Rarity to win, it just ended up there after thinking about the fight itself a lot. So, I'm pleased you found the fight great, even though my writing hasn't been tested all that much, and is still somewhat experimental.

I basically learned to write action on the go, but that's a long time coming, and it's hardly as intuitive as just sitting there and hoping for something to come to the page. Although this doesn't necessarily only apply to action.

Anywho, that story has been in my mind for a decade now--nothing too specific, and more the vague concept of writing something long format tied by a dozen or so compelling ideas I wanted to read in A story.

A bit of background; the current iteration, Daze, is probably the 5th or 6th draft of it, but it's the 3rd version I've published here in FiMfic, and the farthest so far in word count. The 1st version was pretty all over the place across the board, so I skipped that and focused more on rereading and reflecting on the 2nd one instead, since it was more coherent in its writing structure, though the planning was not much better and was still pretty shaky (my planning process is fairly haphazard even now.)

A lot of the inspiration and passion for writing come from cream of the crop stories from the early days, like Past Sins, Anthropology and Through the Well of Pirene. Though I still look for more inspiration by reading through sprawling fantasies, thrillers, dramas, adventures like Empty Horizons, Second Chances Many Changes, Rekindled Embers, Message in a Bottle, and Changeling of the Guard. One thing all those titles have in common is a knack of sucking readers in with immersive stories and characters facilitated by well-phrased on-point descriptions and great utilization of vocab across a compelling and well-planned series of events. Some of those titles do better than others in some aspects, but I believe they all reach a certain standard of quality. So, reading and observing all those really helped me course correct my own writing style, and thought process, and improved my language comprehension.

Then by the time I started writing Daze, I developed those pointers I mentioned to you earlier while also keeping notes of what I wanted to write in, the direction, and filling in new events and notes for future chapters when they come. I lined up the characters, picked the setting, put them in their places, wrote about their motives, actions, surroundings, how the surroundings changed around them--lots of intricate and roundabout but thorough and painstaking attention to detail, and sometimes jumping from chapter to chapter for revisions and addendums. Also lots of playing between active and passive voice in writing and self editing. If I had a dedicated editor, I'd probably be close to 500k now, but so far, I'm only at a fourth of that.

All that said, I first applied those lesson to writing nuance of characters and environments, etc., in a non-action setting, because the story starts at peace time. Then when the fight between RD and Rarity came up, I applied what I learned to an action setting. Granted, it's still a 'generic' sorta fight that's more like a brawl. But if I'd ever have to think about different action settings, like a chase sequence, magic duel, or army warfare, that just means I have to apply what I learned with 'peace time' writing by thinking about the scene, the direction, and the things I want to put in; characters, environment, props, motives, ambience, action, choreography, flow of events. Also doing necessary research, that's important too. Hell, at some point I wanna to write in Celestia piloting a Dynames RIII and become--you could say, a 'Celestial Being' hahaha

It might be much to take in, but it's rather hard to convey experience 100% through words. In summary, it's taking all the things and aspects of your scene, thinking about the parts of it you want to move forward the most as well as some related details and nuances (possible foreshadow for future events), and using good descriptions to anchor them to page and convey them to readers.

If it seems rather chaotic, it pretty much is. But starting and pushing through by wanting it to make sense of it helps to turn it out good in the end.

[GraveDoonger]

I never thought I would see a Gundam witch from mercury and my little pony crossover. Good chap too, def seeing Applebloom x Diamond Tiara in the air alright