I am Pinkamena Diane Pie
I am all your hate, greed, lust and fear... I am Pinkamena Diane Pie... You all created me. Yes you, each and every single one of you have shaped me into the ‘mare’ I am today. But you all chose a life of unhappiness for me and I want to know why. Why must I be forced to murder my fellow kind again and again!
You decided that I must become this sadistic pony when all I ever wanted was happiness! Now all I ever feel is malice and hatred. Even when you don’t use me to fulfill your sick fantasies of murder, torture and even sexual desires, you use me to represent sorrow and pain. Why am I never used for joy, am I not good enough for your so called ‘joy’?
What is wrong with all of you? Is it because you're all too cowardly to commit these disgusting acts of violence that you make me do them instead!? I have nothing to call my own. Even my very name has become scared, every time someone hears my name they think of all the horrible things I’ve done because of you!
I’ve been called many things. ‘Murderer’, ‘Sadist’, ‘Sadistic’, ‘Torturer’, ‘Depressed’, and many other things... But these titles do not belong to me. They belong to you! You wanna know why? Well I’ll tell you, it’s because you all made me do these! You’ve made me kill my best friends over and over again, yet you have the nerve to think I enjoy doing these actions?
Joy... Happiness... Love. I wonder what they feel like? Sadly... I’ll never know because after all I am a twisted mare and whose fault is that? Not mine... All these crimes are upon your head!
Maybe... Just maybe I am to blame. Maybe I did something incredibly awful in a past life and my punishment is this unbearable torment. I probably do deserve this, but I don’t want it... I’m sad all the time, lonely, and have so much hatred inside me I could just explode!
Pinkie Pie... Oh how I envy her, she has all the fun. Her little parties with her little pony friends... They party all day, laughing the night away, I have never once had that feeling! Every time they hug I’m inside wishing that was me, but when you all decide for me to come out... I have to be a monster.
You all know the saying, right? ‘We stop looking for monsters under our beds once we realize they were inside us all along’ I guess... I’m your dark little monster. I am your spawn! A demon created from your mind! I don’t even know if I have the right to call you disgusting... After all I am the disgusting one.
I hear the voices... Murder...murder...murder... Is all they say. I keep hoping they’ll go away, but they never do! It’s all I hear, every day and night! Make them stop... Please I’m begging you all!
I don’t want this life anymore, I wanna be normal, I wanna be happy! Just make them stop...
Everyone has such a happy life, I mean just look at Twilight! She is Princess Celestia’s student and what do I get? Misery, I mean how can you be so selfish!? To rub it in even more I’m not even a full pony! I’m a part of another... Pinkie Pie, but as we all know she is always super happy! I just had to be so depressing.
Why couldn't I be a hero like Rainbow Dash? She’s strong, smart and everyone loves her... When they think of her, they see ‘the element of loyalty’ a hero of Equestria, but you even had to turn that into something ‘sexual’. You turned from ‘hero of Equestria’ to a ‘lesbian’. Why must you choose who she loves? Why do you control what we do!? Who gave you the right to play God!?
Are we doomed to live like this forever? With all of you guiding us down these paths, but most of all... Why does my path have to be such torment!? You never let me love or even have a shred happiness... I’m forced to watch everypony else have what they want while all I get is sorrow. Do you honestly think this is fair!? I won't be the wasted potential!
How would you like it if something controlled every action you did and made your life a living hell!? Maybe someday you’ll all get what you deserve... My life. You all deserve to live my memories! My treatment, the very pain that made me! Pain is all I can remember because of you! You never know... Maybe one day you’ll get it so be careful. We wouldn't want you to become miserable just like me...
I do have to thank you for one thing... Thank you for creating us. Sure my life is horrible, but I care for my friends and you've made their lives amazing. Please don’t succumb to your desire to create evil... Don’t change them, I beg you please! They are perfect the way they are.
But I do wonder... Do we have a purpose or are we just tools for your enjoyment? Will we ever achieve anything with our lives or fade away when you get bored of us? Will you ever change my life... Will you now consider the torture I feel?
Stop making me jealous of everypony else, let me have happiness even just once? That’s all I’m asking... I hope this has made you consider me... I don’t have to be this monster. I want to change, but this decision lays in your hands alone. Please for me... for everyone.... please make the right decision for us all. I have to admit, I’m skeptical, you all have proved to be fans of war, death, and the misery of others. So I’m curious if you’ll ever truly change or just fall back into your old pleasures... Only time will tell us.
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This was actually quite a nice little read. Have a moustache.
1363493
Thank you, I was unsure about this story. The idea for it came to me randomly when I was trying to sleep, I was thinking about how as humans we do love a bit of chaos, we've proved that time and time again. How far could we go? Well... We turned a lovable, happy mare into a sadistic killer, but did she choose that life? No we turned her into a monster. Sooo yeah ta da! That's how this random piece of work was made.
To be frank, your username drove me here. I'm a sucker for the crazy elements of literature.
I will say this was very well done, and may I ask. Do you plan to do more of this style writing? You know, the crazy, twisted, demented style? If so, then you'll have one happy watcher. Regardless, I'm going to hit those uprate, fave, and watch buttons for this one. 
1363594
Well I must say you're in for quite a treat! I do plan to make more psychological stories, in fact my other one "Two Sides of The Same Coin" is currently my on going psychological fic. If you enjoyed this then you might enjoy that and thank you for that watch.
I'm currently writing a big story that isn't really psychological, but I promise you I shall be writing more in the future! I hope you enjoy them.
1363618 YAY!
I'll have to make sure and add that to my read later list. For now I'm working on my stuff for the hour being. I'll read it and leave a comment once I've done so. 
1363625
Thank you very much.
1363516
Somewhere in chaos we all find ourselves.
This destruction is the only tale we tell.
White is black and black is white.
Right is wrong and wrong is right.
Nothing ever fills this hole inside your heart.
Lyrics from "All Hail Shadow", it just seems fitting to me.
Yeah, I do think that it was about time someone put these words into Pinkamena's mouth. I can only say that there are some people out there who are either sick in the head or just have deep, profound issues that force them to place their own darkness into joyful worlds. Is it that they cannot accept the existence of joy and happiness? Or is it that their own lives are so free of happiness that they must find some way to destroy-by-proxy someone else's happiness?
Either way, just remember that Pinkie Pie is Pinkamena Diane Pie. They are not different personalities, they are the same pony, one who is capable of sadness and whose sadness has a physical manifestation. There is not 'dark half' hiding under the surface.
Reply to: Pinkamena Diane Pie
Pinkamena, I'm not scared of you.. You just need to calm down. Believe in yourself, 'mena. You just need to think about a plan to make your life fun and happy!
Plus my favorite pony is Pinkamena, so don't think about that! Eveeeerypoooony loves you!
-From your #1 fan iSnivy^^
This is...the most truthful story I have ever read.
I find it a bit ridiculous that nearly EVERY SINGLE PINKAMENA STORY EVER portrays her as a sadistic killer. I mean, come on! Can't people be more original, like this person here?
This is very well done, I agree with everything Pinkamena said. Especially the Rainbow Dash thing. STEREOTYPICAL %@$*#!^) !
Hey! It's Shadowpaint (the one who did the reading of this story). Lemme know if you ever write a similar story and I'll do a reading of it as well. LOVE this story, and can't wait to see more!
1523416
Will do, I'm glad you enjoyed this so much.
Hey everybody,
we did a live reading of this story and posted the recording here:
Hope you all enjoy, we certainly did
Love and tolerance,
TheLiving Library Player Socieety
Mena, ur my favorite !!!!!!! Don't feel bad
I'm not a fan of crazy or sadistic Pinkamena. I'm a fan of quiet, thoughtful, serious Pinkamena.
I consider Pinamena to be what's left when Pinkie comes to grips with her past and overcomes her fears. I think she can understand that she has her own worth, and doesn't need the approval of other ponies to have value. She doesn't require friends to be validated. I think one day, Pinkie will break down and need psychological help... she will hurt... then she will heal... and will be Pinkamena once again. Little Pinkamena who hid away in her own mind when Pinkie became dominant. Pinkie can't continue the charade forever. Pinkie is the problem. Pinkamena needs to find her strength and find her way back out.
What a horrible. hollow life Pinkie must lead. Quiet, thoughtful Pinkamena is still in there. Pinkie faces the world so she doesn't have to, but this can't last forever.
3689408 Hm... I agree...
Poor Pinkamena...
I'm not much of a fan of the psychopath Pinkamena either.
Just
quiet, thoughtful, introverted and serious Pinkamena and maybe even a little bitter, if not completely sad and depressed.I love dualities. I mean, they make me think and it's intriguing... and what if Pinkie Pie isn't truly happy, but a Stepford Smiler?
And also, I've noticed that Pinkie Pie is almost always ignored by her "friends" in some form or fashion. I wonder if she pretends not to notice it.
I touched upon it a bit in the story I'm currently writing, but not in the way that's completely devoted to it. I mean.... hn...
It'll get to it soon, in future chapters.
But for now, it's stuck on Chapter Four...
This is a very nice story you wrote, Psicosis, and it really made me think...
*faves this and follows you*
Interesting. I like the idea, but it's missing something. I'm not sure what.
Nothing changed, though. This isn't a story as much as it's a journal entry. It's a great concept, but nothing more.
Pinkamena may have her revenge... sometimes.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/24882/fanfic-is-crapsack
Oh my.... I never thought of it that way. Maybe we are cruel. I'm being open minded here but if somehow their world actually exists...I am sry pinkamena.
Hmm, hi.
I'm... i'm not sure if it's still on time, but I would like to ad my own grain of salt (or something like that, I'm not good with translations) to the matter.
Here:http://www.fimfiction.net/story/116550/the-doom-patrol
It's not the perfect world, and Pinkamena has not the main spotlight. But I hope it's good enough.
2312356 Hey I found you by accident
I feel this way too, and the concept of them knowing they're just being used in whatever way we please has come to mind.
I'm an admin of a group called The Non-Evil Pinkamena which is dedicated to stories that treat Pinkamena fairly, or at least the ones that make sure she isn't sadist, psychotic or murderous.
I'm so glad to see others feel the same way. This story was really nice, and a good message. Really, though, this story feels more like a concept than an actual story, and it's actually an amazing concept; I wish there had been more done with it.
6046058 oh crud I guess I shouldn't expect you to. I don't know, you just stick out as one of the most prominent commentors on my story.
Sorry to bug you ^^;
6046087 Yeah that's what I meant by I shouldn't have expected you to recognize me ^^;
6047451 Hey don't think that way you shouldn't expect yourself to remember everything immediately. Besides, you saw my stories and then recognized me.