On an unusually hot summer day, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo look forward to a day at Saddle Lake. They just have to stop digging their hole first.
A submission for the Thousand Word Contest II, in the Slice-Of-Life category
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How can it be for the contest when it's not complete? Or is that allowed? I'm not competing, so I don't know the rules.
Edit: Great story by the way.
This was very cute! I wasn’t sure about the opening but around the first scene break the story really picked up. Best of luck in the contest!
11616595
I appreciate the feedback. I read through your story earlier today and really enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and best of luck in the contest to you as well!
11616582
Thanks for pointing it out and for reading!
You're right about the incomplete. I was just being forgetful.
aww that is exactly what Applejack would do!
y’know it really is a shame that as adults we don’t do random little things like this when bored like we did as children
ahaha oh Applejack! whoever heard of appleade?
considering canon Tartarus does seem to be as Pinkie says, that just raises further questions! or not, considering it’s just Pinkie Pie
that is so the Pinkie answer
hey, Rarity is being perfectly sane here! and to ask for a sane pony in Twilight of all ponies…
hehe that is so Rainbow Dash
aww love that Twilight’s optometrist appointment was story-relevant at the end. very cute stuff, thank you so much for writing!
I see we’re working with a loose definition of “sane.”
It’s a cute concept, but you really needed to trim back the descriptive bloat given the word limit. As is, the whole thing feels jumbled and tripping over itself to deliver a fairly basic joke. Good attempt, but I felt this needed some more polish to truly shine. Of course, that's why we have multiple judges on the panel. Thank you for the entry and congrats on the honorable mention.
Everyone feels so solidly voiced here. Slow escalation is such a short wordcount is impressive!
Hello! I read all the stories in this contest that won recognition, so here's a review. I'm kinda with FanOfMostEverything here: it's a rather nice concept, and Pinkie made me laugh. The ending is a bit dull, though. Well done on the hon mensh!