• Member Since 21st Aug, 2022
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GrangeDisplay


E

On an unusually hot summer day, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo look forward to a day at Saddle Lake. They just have to stop digging their hole first.

A submission for the Thousand Word Contest II, in the Slice-Of-Life category

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

How can it be for the contest when it's not complete? Or is that allowed? I'm not competing, so I don't know the rules.

Edit: Great story by the way.

RB_

This was very cute! I wasn’t sure about the opening but around the first scene break the story really picked up. Best of luck in the contest!

11616595
I appreciate the feedback. I read through your story earlier today and really enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and best of luck in the contest to you as well!


11616582
You're right about the incomplete. I was just being forgetful. :twilightblush: Thanks for pointing it out and for reading!

By her side was Applejack, who fanned herself with her hat, intermittently whistling before muttering a country colloquialism to describe the intense heat.

aww that is exactly what Applejack would do!

Scootaloo added a stick to the lake’s side before joining the excavation. By the time Apple Bloom skipped over to meet them, the hole was big enough for one of them to lay in. Apple Bloom gave her friends a curious look.

“You know,” Apple Bloom began while tapping her chin. “The right side is supposed to be the steeper end. Scooch over Scoots, let me show y’all how it's done.”

y’know it really is a shame that as adults we don’t do random little things like this when bored like we did as children

“Applejack! Want some of the most thirst-quenchiest lemonade in all Equestria!”

Despite bouncing on her hooves, Pinkie still managed to balance a pitcher of lemonade on her head. Applejack had watched her hop from vendor to vendor, offering cold drinks.

“Pinkie. Really think about what you’re asking here, sugarcube.”

ahaha oh Applejack! whoever heard of appleade?

“Absolutely! Tartarus is definitely at more of a room temperature,” Pinkie agreed, pouring Applejack a cup.

considering canon Tartarus does seem to be as Pinkie says, that just raises further questions! or not, considering it’s just Pinkie Pie

Applejack wiped sweat from her forehead, and tried to quell her growing frustration. “Well y’all can’t dig a lake in the middle of Ponyville. Do it somewhere else.”

“Applejack’s right,” Pinkie agreed seriously. “You can’t dig a lake in the middle of Ponyville…without proper equipment!”

that is so the Pinkie answer

“And do what? Tell them to stop and have Sweetie Belle track dirt into my perfect boutique? I need to prepare!” Rarity shouted before galloping away.

“I need somepony sane here. Where’s Twilight?” Applejack questioned.

hey, Rarity is being perfectly sane here! and to ask for a sane pony in Twilight of all ponies…

There was the thunderous crackle of lightning, followed by a deluge of pouring rain. Applejack’s drenched hat lay limply on her head as Rainbow Dash chuckled above.

hehe that is so Rainbow Dash

Twilight squinted at the familiar noise, allowing Spike to guide her closer. “Applejack! What’s happening? Why are Pinkie and Rainbow screaming about ‘cannonballs?'”

aww love that Twilight’s optometrist appointment was story-relevant at the end. very cute stuff, thank you so much for writing!

I need somepony sane here. Where’s Twilight?

I see we’re working with a loose definition of “sane.” :raritywink:

It’s a cute concept, but you really needed to trim back the descriptive bloat given the word limit. As is, the whole thing feels jumbled and tripping over itself to deliver a fairly basic joke. Good attempt, but I felt this needed some more polish to truly shine. Of course, that's why we have multiple judges on the panel. Thank you for the entry and congrats on the honorable mention.

Everyone feels so solidly voiced here. Slow escalation is such a short wordcount is impressive!

Hello! I read all the stories in this contest that won recognition, so here's a review. I'm kinda with FanOfMostEverything here: it's a rather nice concept, and Pinkie made me laugh. The ending is a bit dull, though. Well done on the hon mensh!

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