7 - love, death, distraction
The sun was setting on the Crystal Empire, and Cadance had just finished the last of her royal duties for the rest of the year. They involved mainly reassuring the public that they no longer had to keep an eye out for a Flurry twin. But among other things, she had a few simple issues to work through as Hearth's Warming was approaching quite rapidly. In fact, this was her last day of the month where she would even think of doing her royal duties. They could be saved for a few days after Hearth’s Warming, and Cadance wouldn't entertain doing them a moment sooner.
But she couldn’t shake her conversation with Kieran from her head; all day his descriptions plagued her, and as she walked through the hallways, she was rather sure of her next course of action.
As she arrived back in their living space, she looked towards Flurry’s door. When she left them earlier in the afternoon, she’d been rather worried as she checked inside, only to see them happily playing videogames with Kieran’s eyes wide with wonder. She had smiled and simply told them she’d be gone for a while and that Shining would still be around.
Cadance was concerned about many things involving him, especially when Kieran whipped around with a tensed body and wide eyes, ready to say something. But he had only nervously shut his mouth and forced a smile before saying goodbye.
That was also concerning for the princess. His aversion to being left alone earlier in the day hadn’t gone unnoticed, and she started to wonder how to handle it. But she was no psychologist, and as her thoughts drifted further, that’s exactly where they went. ‘Maybe I should get him a therapist?’ She wondered briefly.
She shook her head soon after, ‘He’s strong. It just means he’s attached to me already. Forcing him to talk to someone might make him not trust me.’ She thought with a simple hum.
She sighed as she walked through the living room and into the bedroom, where Shining was lounging in a chair with a book and his reading glasses, which he insisted he didn’t need. She walked to her dresser and began taking off her jewelry and other additions. She felt Shining brush against her side afterwards. "Hey," he muttered simply.
She smirked and met him with a nuzzle, "Hi honey." She chimed; she skipped straight towards her most worrying thought: "How are they doing?"
Shining hummed to himself for a second: "Well, considerably better than I thought. Flurry even came out of her room to order me to make them snacks at one point!" He said with a short chuckle.
Cadance raised her brow and said, "You didn’t feed them a bunch of junk, did you?"
He waved his hoof and blew air out of his mouth dismissively, "No, of course not. Just some fruits."
Cadance hummed with a short nod: "Nothing else happened? I’m glad they’re getting along."
Shining sat down and averted his eyes. "Well, there was one odd thing…"
Cadance’s breath hitched as she tilted her head. Shining continued, "Kieran asked at least a dozen times where you were and when you’d be back. I kept telling him you’d be home when you were finished, but he seemed caught up in it. I felt really bad."
Cadance felt her heart sink at that, and she held a hoof to her chest as if it’d stop the pain of that thought. "Kieran…" She muttered sadly before sighing.
She eyed the crystal communicator in her room wearily, and Shining followed her gaze. "Who was it you had in mind earlier?"
Cadance began walking over to the device with Shining in tow, "Well, my first thought was Twilight."
Shining nodded rather expectantly, "Yes, that would make sense."
Cadance hummed, "But then I realized that she would probably be caught up with her own duties in Ponyville for at least a few more days… And I’d really like to know sooner rather than later. Waiting for Hearth’s Warming for us to all be together is too long."
Shining put a hoof to his chin, "Then… who else would you ask?"
"Someone who told me they’d be in the city this week…" She said rather cryptically as she walked over to the device.
Cadance quickly began dialing a number into the crystal communicator, and she waited expectantly for an answer on the other end. It hummed a few times before finally the voice she was looking for finally hit her ears. "Cadance! How are you?"
Cadance huffed a short laugh, "Quite well, Sunburst. And you?"
He laughed a bit nervously, "A bit busy, but doing alright. I actually meant to contact you soon anyway; my parents and I arrived in your lovely city this morning. It’s so beautiful here at Hearth’s Warming. It’s still being held at your place this year, correct?"
Cadance laughed at Shining’s surprised face, "Yes, indeed. Why didn't you come over to the castle today?" She asked in a mockingly sad voice.
Sunburst chuckled nervously on the other end, "Mother had way too many plans to keep up with. I promise, I meant to come over!"
Cadance smiled, "Well, it’s absolutely perfect timing that you’re in the city; I need your… advice… on something. You and Starlight were just the ponies I was hoping for." Cadance paused. "Starlight is with you, right?" She asked hopefully.
She heard an inquisitive and surprised hum on the other end: "No, she is still back in Ponyville helping Twilight with the Hearth’s Warming celebration for the School of Friendship. They start it about a week early so that all the students can return home to their families. But I’m willing to help as best I can!"
Cadance hummed thoughtfully, "Thank you. It’s a bit of a long story, though."
Sunburst seemed unfazed: "I’ve just been relaxing anyway with no plans. Be my guest; it sounds important."
Cadance closed her eyes. "Okay, well…"
"And… Well, that’s how it got to this. We have absolutely no clue what’s going on involving his magic, and it really worries me." Cadance said while taking a long breath.
She could tell by the sound on the other end that Sunburst was furiously writing about this. "I know I’ve expressed my surprise already, but an entirely organic body? Cadance, that’s… that might just be the craziest thing an alicorn has accomplished in centuries!"
Cadance tried to suppress her worry as she hummed agreeingly, "Yes, it is quite astonishing. That she was also able to connect this new body with a soul from a different world or universe… I try not to think of it much."
Sunburst was completely overwhelmed. "I don’t know how I could forget after hearing that." He said in wonder. "I presume she has gotten her cutie mark for such a grand act as well. It is astonishing."
Cadance and Shining gave each other looks of weariness before she spoke again: "None to speak of yet. No such appearance of a macabre-looking cutiemark."
Sunburst hummed curiously, "Well, she wished on a star; I would expect a more miracle-based cutie mark if anything."
Cadance thought about that for a second before shaking her head, "Yes, well, it’s all exciting and everything. But what I really need help with is Kieran."
Sunburst sounded sheepish over the phone: "Oh! Of course, I’m sorry, Cadance. What exactly is going wrong with his magic?"
"Well, for one, he can’t grip things without extreme concentration, and it hurts his hooves." She relayed, "And when he uses his horn, the only thing that comes out is an explosion of black smoke. He says it really hurts and gives him long-lasting headaches. And he hasn’t had any sort of magic surge; I’m just…" She couldn’t help the intense feeling of worry from dripping out of her words: "I’m scared that he’ll get hurt."
She felt Shining lean against her side comfortingly as Sunburst agreed with a short hum, "And the nurse’s scans didn’t come up with anything?"
Cadance shook her head to herself, "No, they said his ley lines were all connected and undamaged."
"Yes, but did they check anything else? The amount of magic he had? The ways his magic worked when he tried to use it while they analyzed him? Anything of the sort?" Sunburst asked a bit hopefully.
Cadance’s mouth opened in shock but closed: "No… it was just a checkup; they don’t usually get that advanced. They were too worried about his physical health."
Sunburst released a long sigh from the other side. "Unbelievable, magic is just as important for health…" Another sigh rang out as he paused for a minute. "It could be a multitude of things, and these are just my first theories."
Cadance listened intently as he began, "Kieran previously was a non-magical being, and now he has been thrust into the most powerful of the races of ponies. Flurry didn’t specify anything other than an exact twin. This could be causing a lot of conflict with his internal magic. Not to mention, it might even be a mentality. Maybe their brains work differently and are completely incapable of producing magic, even when given a magical body. It’s likely that his body is confused; it knows it shouldn’t be an alicorn, yet it is regardless. And-"
Sunburst heard a whimper from over the communication device and stopped in his explanations. "Are you okay, dear?"
Cadance was unable to hold back from releasing her worried whimper, and she sighed sadly, her voice breaking a bit. "I see… Lots of things could be terribly wrong. I just… It worries me." She sighed again.
Sunburst’s voice slowed from his more analytical view into a softer tone: "Hey, Cadance, it’ll be alright. I’ll come by tomorrow, and we can run a few tests, okay? It might all just be something simple. He taught himself, after all."
She nodded as Shining rubbed her back soothingly, "Y-Yes, thank you, Sunburst. That would be wonderful."
A call was heard, and Sunburst huffed from the other end, "Mother wants to go window shopping and see the lights." He said in exasperation. "Please, take care of yourself and those two foals, Cadance. I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t tell Flurry! I want to surprise her."
"Will do," Cadance replied with a short laugh. "Bye."
Shining chimed in, "See ya!"
Sunburst’s voice rose in surprise. "Shining!?"
And then the communicator caught up as Cadance pressed the call-end button. She blushed sheepishly as she looked over at Shining, "Oops. Probably should have said something earlier." She laughed.
Shining shrugged. "I didn’t know what else to say," he said with a short chuckle.
"Yes! That’s nine for me and zero for you." Flurry gloated as she gave me a smirk from nearby.
I felt a bit of sting from being so thoroughly destroyed in our game. But she had the major experience bonus of being a pony for way longer; their controllers were weird. Plus, mine was getting very tiring to use. We had been playing an odd game; it was low-graphics compared to what I was used to, but quite fun. The game we were playing was some sort of Mario Party-esque game, but with ponies from some sort of novel. The nine Flurry had referred to were basically the equivalent of stars.
I laughed a bit. "Ya beat me." I released the controller, "I think I’m done for now. I’ll watch though."
"Oh, come on, are ya gettin’ scared now?" Flurry teased me with a giggle before she saw how I was nursing my two hooves. I was trying to make it less obvious, but I was seething through my teeth while I rubbed them. I imagined this is what it would feel like to have carpal tunnel on, like… your entire arm. Radiating up like fire, but from within. It sucked, basically.
She sat up with a guilty look, "Oh, sorry. I got a bit carried away. You can take breaks whenever you want, Kieran; don’t let me force you into doing something." She reached her hoof out worriedly, and I could see the guilt building up on her features.
I waved my hoof and winced a bit, "Oh, I did too. I forgot until just a moment ago. I’ll be okay."
The truth is, I wasn’t feeling okay. But I assumed everyone could tell that and didn’t want to force guilt upon everyone all the time. So I stayed silent as she turned the game off, as well as the odd crystal TV that seemed to run on magic. Everything ran off of magic, I think…
I looked anxiously towards the door. "I wonder if Cadance is back." I wondered idly with a tilted head.
Flurry hummed and shrugged. "Dunno, wanna check?" She bounded ahead of me and looked back at me expectantly.
I put my hooves back on the ground and fought not to cringe at the pain, giving her a nod. She ran up to the door and was about to open it when suddenly it opened itself. "Ahh! Demon!" Flurry shouted as she fell to the ground.
Cadance poked her head in, then her body, as she smirked down at her. "Oh, sorry, Kieran."
Flurry widened her eyes as she sat back on her haunches. "Momma, I’m not…"
Cadance adopted a slow look of horror as she looked between the two of us. "Flurry! Oh, I… you said demon and I…" She looked at me with a sincere amount of guilt, "I’m so sorry Kieran."
My eyes were affixed to the floor for only a second before I looked back up and shrugged, "It’s not surprising; it’s okay…"
I walked over and hugged one of her forelegs lightly, "I’m just happy to see you again." I mumbled awkwardly and quietly.
She placed her other hoof on my back and leaned down, giving me and Flurry a quick nuzzle before drawing upward again. "Dinner should be ready, unless you two filled up too much on snacks." She teased.
Flurry bounded out the door, and I nodded. Releasing her hoof from the hug, I put it back on the ground to walk, not expecting the lingering pain in my hoof to spike. I tripped and caught myself as Cadance looked at me worriedly, "Everything okay?"
I nodded and gave a fake smile, "Yes, just new to my hooves still." I said dismissively. Setting my hooves back down and wincing through the pain as I walked after Flurry. I kept looking back at Cadance for some reason, but each time she just gave me a sweet smile.
I let Cadance walk past me and take a seat at the table next to Shining. Flurry took a random spot as she asked the servant what dinner was. I stared awkwardly at the table, but with a small smile. Cadance looked back and gestured for me to come sit, which I did. I walked over quite carefully and sat on the other side of Cadance, probably a bit too close for any normal person’s comfort. But I felt a smile and a warm feeling radiate from me as she gently put a wing on my back.
I looked back up just in time to see the cooking staff bringing in dinner and setting it before all of us. I looked down hungrily at the food; it was a sort of pasta with red sauce, much like spaghetti. And there were many varieties of flowers and greens topping it off. Everyone else lifted theirs, and I looked over at my own, my face falling in horror as I looked between them and my hoof, which still hurt really badly.
I felt conflicted about whether to just shove my face into it and eat like a dog, but I felt Cadance rub my back with her wing and whisper, "Do you want my help, sweetie?"
I looked up at her in surprise; my mouth opened to protest or to tell her I’d be alright, but I found myself nodding, "Y-Yes please…"
She smiled and returned a nod, using her magic to lift one of my utensils. I didn’t like the idea of being fed; it felt babyish and also quite embarrassing to have her attention on me the whole time. However, I didn’t have much of a choice, and at the very least, it was Cadance doing it. Neither Shining nor Flurry seemed to notice, and if they did, they didn’t care.
Cadance was so impressive with magic. She fed herself while also feeding me, and her control of the utensils was so gentle. Usually I’d expect to be fearful when a fork is telekinetically floating in front of me, but she seemed to be a master of magic. That’s an alicorn for you, I guess. Or maybe fork levitating isn’t very impressive.
So I happily ate with the rest of them, this time without my bitter comments from before. They really were a nice family.
When I finished eating a bit faster than everyone else, I sighed happily. Cadance giggled down at me as she levitated my napkin. "Here," she said as she wiped off the apparent sauce coating my muzzle.
"Thank you, Cadance… You’re too nice." I muttered quietly.
She pulled me closer to her side with her wing and nuzzled me, "Just the amount you deserve. You’re welcome, honey." She said quietly.
I’d had a long day, and I found myself drifting off as everyone continued eating. I leaned in close to her side, laying my head against it. Cadance seemed unbothered and only seemed to hug me tighter with her wing.
Cadance couldn’t help but feel a warm feeling wash over her as she watched the filly fall asleep against her side. She hadn’t imagined she’d be anywhere close to this sort of interaction with him when the day had begun, and now he seemed so much happier. Cadance couldn’t help but feel proud of both herself and Kieran for finding it in himself to accept their help.
She looked over at Shining, who’d clearly noticed, and shared a smile. Shining looked at Flurry and spoke a bit quieter to keep from waking up Kieran. "You and Kieran seem to be getting along."
Flurry nodded vigorously as she finished chewing a bite. "Yeah, he’s really nice, actually!" She was shushed by both adults, and she looked at the sleeping twin sheepishly, but he hadn’t budged. "Well… we helped each other a bit." She spoke fondly yet sadly at the same time.
Cadance tilted her head, "You two aren’t hiding any secrets from us, are you?" The question was playful but also stern. Cadance didn’t want another situation to crop up because one of them would refuse to ask for help again.
She shook her head, "No, it was just a very personal talk. I wouldn’t repeat anything he said because I don’t know if he’d want that." Cadance nodded and smiled proudly at her daughter as she continued on and jumped to a new topic. "Oh yeah, he really likes music. I showed him some of the songs you got for me, daddy."
Shining laughed, "Good."
But another thought overcame Cadance’s mind as she looked down at the rather peaceful-looking filly sleeping. She only knew about his trauma and vaguely about his personality, and she suddenly realized how much she didn’t know about him. She couldn’t say his favorite food, the things he liked to do, or even his favorite color. That sudden realization made her face fall farther in a rather sad way as she thought more about it.
Finished eating, however, she looked back up at the other two as she levitated Kieran onto her back. "I’m going to put him in bed, Flurry; your bedtime is soon too sweetie."
Flurry nodded, "Yes, momma."
Looking back to watch the small filly nestle into the fur on her neck made Cadance smile, and she walked down the hallway. She hummed curiously, ‘There are no guest rooms near our living quarters…’
She mentally shrugged it off as she walked further down the hallway towards another side of the castle, ‘I’m sure he’ll appreciate peace, quiet, and alone time.’
Entering a rather lavish guest room with monotone gray coloration, she walked over to the large bed and pulled the cover back with her magic, then gingerly placed the filly into the bed before covering him again. She felt her heart melt a bit at the view, then felt a twinge of guilt and sadness, knowing that she was finding her own daughter cute in that moment instead of Kieran. She shook her head to clear her head of the confusion and leaned down before whispering, "Sleep well, little one." She leaned in and kissed the side of his face.
She walked to the door, looking down the long hallway, then back at him multiple times in conflict, ‘He’s fine, Cadance.’ She reassured herself as she left him to his sleep.
I opened my eyes quite abruptly, then felt the whiplash of tiredness as I reached up and rubbed my eyes. Sitting up, I looked around at the dark room, ‘Did I fall asleep?’ I thought groggily.
The warmth of the bed called me back to sleep, but I shook it away as I grew more curious: ‘Where am I?’ I wondered.
I stood up, carefully scanning the room more; the monotone gray was not something I recognized from this castle, and so I hopped down from the bed. The first place I went was the bathroom, and as I washed my hooves, I looked in the mirror again. There was nothing I could do at that moment to change myself, so all I did was shrug, as I had earlier in the day.
I thought of my day up until this point, and especially about the family that had graciously allowed me to stay. ‘Flurry is nice,’ I decided. ‘She tried to make me feel better even when she herself was going through a lot.’
I walked out of the bathroom and back to the bed, where I hopped up and covered myself again as I laid there in thought. ‘Shining seems nice, I guess.’ I thought as well.
Then my thoughts drifted to Cadance, and I smiled, ‘Cadance is great. She’s everything you’d want from a mother. Flurry is a lucky filly.’
My thoughts drifted to her more as I remembered her telling us where she was going: ‘She is really important too. A princess with duties and a kingdom, and Flurry will be like that too one day.’
My eyes opened a bit. ‘What am I going to accomplish?’ My thoughts wandered more as I thought of my seemingly broken horn and useless hooves. And wings that I couldn’t even find the muscle for, even if I tried a hundred times over. Which was apparently a natural thing to know how to do from birth. ‘Why am I so broken?’ I thought a bit bitterly.
I was unable to do anything, and my thoughts drifted to dinner when Cadance was feeding me: ‘Why does she even put up with me? An alicorn should be able to at least feed themselves.' I sighed. I looked through the darkness down at my front hooves, ‘How will I accomplish anything? I’m barely even a regular pony, let alone an alicorn.’
My thoughts drifted to many bitter and unfriendly places as I scoffed, ‘Cadance wouldn’t make me leave or get rid of me, though. She wouldn’t!’ I couldn’t know that, I still barely knew her.
But as I gazed around the room I was in once more, my fear heightened, ‘Where am I?’
I got up from the bed again, my body complaining in protest, and jumped off the bed. I walked over to the door, which was left open enough for me to pull it the rest of the way. I stared out and down the long, seemingly endless hallway; it looked so large compared to how small I was.
‘I’m in the castle, but… now I'm alone.’ I thought. I felt my heart pick up in pace again as I looked around the hallways in the dead of night from my lonely doorway. I spotted a plaque on the wall. I couldn't read it, but just by assumption, I appeared to be in some sort of guest room.
My body froze. I don't know why, but just thinking about it sent me into a spiral of panic and worry. ‘I’ve been labeled as just a normal guest.’
I felt myself begin to shiver, due to the cold but also in fear: 'Don't be ridiculous; where else would they put you?' But my breathing wasn't slowing down. 'They didn't ask me though. I would've slept on the floor even; I wouldn't have complained.' I argued with myself. The walls seemed to be closing in on me, and the only thing I could feel was the darkness.
‘But they put me in the middle of nowhere in the castle,' I thought a bit panickedly as I looked down the hallway. I wrapped my forelegs around myself as my breathing increased in pace.
"Cadance?" My tiny voice rang down the hallway with a few echoes, but it was just me alone in the darkness. My lonely doorway, forgotten at the end of the hallway.
Shining blinked tiredly as he yawned deeply, stirring from his spot in bed as he smacked his lips dryly. He thought about just returning to sleep but quickly decided against it as he stood up to get something to drink.
Swinging his back legs off the bed and walking to the restroom, he came back out and smiled at his wife before turning towards the doorway. He walked over carefully in the darkness and opened it with his magic. As he entered the living room, he thought he heard something but dismissed it.
Walking through another door into a regular kitchen and pouring himself a glass of water, he drank greedily, and again he heard the sound. It sounded like small taps on the floor, and his senses briefly slipped into guard mode, but he shoved it away. He was on vacation from the guard and wasn’t going to freak himself out. He placed the glass in the sink before walking out, giving another tired yawn. His steps were slow, and his ears swiveled around in curiosity.
His alertness paid off as he heard the tapping once again, except it almost seemed to be trailing him. He grew very suspicious as he continued walking, pondering on what to do. After a few seconds of thinking, he simply turned on a dime as he lit his horn, "Who’s there?" He asked aggressively.
He didn’t see anything, but he definitely heard a few taps. Furrowing his brow in confusion, he carefully walked around, looking at every section of the living room with scrutiny, before finally looking at the couch. He squinted his eyes perceptively as he carefully took steps toward it before rounding the corner in an instant, "Got you!" He growled.
But his eyes widened and his breath hitched when the sight that met him was the quivering form of his daughter. No, his daughter wouldn’t be quivering in fear, he thought quickly. "Kieran?" He spoke curiously.
The filly whimpered a bit before standing, "H-Hi… Shining." Kieran muttered nervously.
Shining sighed as his adrenaline came down, and he laid on the floor to be smaller. "What’s wrong?"
"Wrong? Nothing’s wrong!" Kieran defended himself quickly, almost offended.
Shining furrowed his brow again. "Why were you… stalking me?"
Kieran’s eyes darted left and right a few times before he spoke: "I didn’t want to bother or wake anyone up since I was thirsty, so I followed you and watched to see how to do it." Then he put on a smile. Shining was surprised by the depth of the lie that he’d concocted so quickly, but it was just that—a lie. He could tell by the mannerisms—how he couldn’t keep eye contact, and he rubbed his hooves nervously.
With a long sigh, Shining looked into his eyes and asked, "Why are you lying? Please, tell me what’s actually wrong."
Kieran seemed to flinch as Shining’s expression softened. He reached his hoof out and placed it under Kieran’s chin, saying, "Hey, I’m not angry." He reassured, "I just want to hear what’s up. If that’s okay?" He asked carefully.
Kieran sighed deeply as his face became much sadder than Shining anticipated. "I… I got worried."
Shining tilted his head. "About?" He encouraged him softly.
Kieran gritted his teeth and looked away. "I… I don’t know. I just woke up alone and…"
He could see Kieran begin to cry, and he felt his heart ache. "Kieran…" He muttered sadly.
"No, I know; I’m stupid." Kieran huffed, "I… I was in a guest room, and I didn’t know if you guys…" A sudden range of emotions passed over the foal's face, settling on one of dismissal and pain. "It’s stupid; just forget about it." Kieran stood from his cowering position and began walking away with his tail between his legs.
"You thought we abandoned you?" Shining guessed.
Kieran stopped and lowered his head even more. "Like I said, It’s stupid. You don't have to tell me." Kieran mumbled before taking a few more steps away.
Shining quickly trotted forward and cut off the filly’s path with his hoof, and Kieran bumped into it as he wasn’t watching where he was going. Kieran looked startled as Shining shook his head. "It’s not stupid to worry, Kieran. And you are not stupid. I don't want to hear you calling yourself that anymore." Shining said a bit sternly but with a caring expression.
Kieran looked up with curiosity that slowly turned to anger towards himself. Tears started streaming from his eyes, and he quickly raised his hooves to wipe them. "I-I just wanted to see Cadance again. She's just in bed right? I don’t know why I feel this way." He mumbled.
Startled by the sudden sadness and his words, Shining quickly laid on the floor and nudged him gently with his muzzle, "H-Hey, we aren’t going anywhere, buddy. I promise you that."
But his words did little to comfort the foal, and he frowned sadly, "Kieran, are you that worried about being separated from us?"
"No just... not that far! It's okay if I like…" Kieran mumbled as he sniffled a bit, "...Can I just sleep on the couch? I don’t like being on the other side of the castle." He whined sadly.
Shining sighed sadly once again as he enveloped Kieran in his magic hold. "Kieran, buddy…" He walked around the couch and hopped up onto it, placing the filly right between his hooves as he lay down. "Please talk to me." Shining spoke encouragingly as he tilted his head. "I know I don't have your trust like Cadance, but I'm still here for you okay? You can tell me anything."
Kieran sniffled a few tears away. "I've been getting really worried all day, so when I woke up alone I just thought..." He paused. "I realized I couldn’t do anything important like Cadance because my body is u-useless as a pony. And that I’m just a waste of space for an alicorn," he whined sadly. "Then I saw I was in a guest room, and I just thought you guys… maybe you realized the same thing and didn’t want me anymore."
Kieran growled and put a hoof to his forehead angrily, "I know it makes no sense, but nothing makes sense here anyway and..."
Shining listened intently with a caring, sad expression as more tears came from Kieran’s eyes. "I don’t know why I feel like this. When Cadance left earlier, I panicked because I didn’t know where she was." He put his hoof to his forehead, "That’s why I’m just being stu…" Shining furrowed his brow sternly, and he redirected his sentence: "I-I'm… lonely."
There was a longer amount of silence as Shining watched him shuffle on his hooves nervously. He spoke soothingly, more than Kieran expected: "Lonely is an apt description, I think." He pulled Kieran closer to himself in a hug and nuzzled his head. "But it’s not your fault that you feel this way, Kieran." He reassured him.
Shining pursed his lips before a smile overtook his features. "Did you know that my little sister is an alicorn?"
That briefly distracted him as the foal looked up and shook his head curiously. Shining laughed, "Well, she’s the princess of friendship, Twilight. And you want to know something?"
Kieran tilted his head. "W-What?"
Shining continued, "My little sister used to follow me everywhere. She thought that I was the coolest pony ever because I wanted to join the royal guard for Princess Luna and Celestia." He paused to reminisce: "I always remember she would come into my room in the middle of the night and tell me she wanted to hug more because I’d be gone one day."
He smirked, "But every single time, I’d pull her close in bed and tell her that wasn’t true. That even if I was gone soon, I would always be back, and that she’d see me again." He chuckled a bit. "Of course she was smart, so she’d even constructed plans to try and get me not to join the guard. We were just foals, so it never worked, but it showed me just how much she cared about me—that she’d do anything to keep me from leaving."
There was silence as Kieran thought over his words. "I’m guessing you joined the guard then?" He wondered curiously.
He nodded, "Eventually, when I got older. I was still home for every holiday, and I got to see her grow into a strong and powerful young mare, and well… now she’s a princess. She always had to show me up in the end."
Kieran smiled a bit but still seemed sad. "That’s a nice story."
Shining nodded and leaned in closer. "I told you the story as a comparison." He smiled and placed his hoof on Kieran’s chest. "You’re scared we’ll leave you because of what you haven’t become yet?" He huffed, "Psht, picking something to be already? You’re still so young; you’ve got a whole life to look forward to."
He paused and briefly wondered if he should say more, but continued quickly, "But the point is, no matter what you try to be or are, Cadance and I will still be there to pull you close. And one day you’ll go off and accomplish amazing things, and me and Cadance will still be here to welcome you back." He leaned in and nuzzled the foal, "And who knows, maybe one day you and Flurry will accomplish greater things than us as well. Or maybe you’ll be a bookstore owner. Either way, we’ll still care for you."
Kieran tilted his head with a small nervous smile. "Why would you already care about me? We barely know each other."
Shining rolled his eyes playfully with a grin and said, "Because I can. But if you want to play that game, then hello, my name is Shining Armor. Guard captain, and prince of the Crystal Empire." He introduced himself with a hoof to his chest and a look of pride.
Kieran laughed slightly. "Well, I’m Kieran..." He paused a bit, "Anyway, I blow myself up sometimes and I jump out windows."
They both shared a bit of laughter, and Shining leaned in carefully to nuzzle him. After a bit of surprise, Kieran returned it happily. A few seconds later, the foal yawned, and Shining picked him up with his magic. "Let’s get some more sleep, okay?"
Shining opened the bedroom door, where a tired-looking Cadance looked to just be sitting up in bed. "Dear? Where’ve you been?" She asked Shining with a yawn.
It took her a few moments to notice Kieran, and her eyes widened as Shining came over to the bed. "Is everything alright, honey?" She asked worriedly.
She rather quickly, without asking, brought the foal into her forelegs and nuzzled him. Kieran relished the affection, and instantly latched his hooves around her neck. "Yes, I-I’m fine."
"Kieran," Shining said sternly with a raised brow, "Tell the truth."
Kieran blushed embarrassedly. "I got scared when I didn’t know where you were." He admitted, "I got scared. I know you didn't, but I kept thinking you got rid of me." He said while holding back a whimper.
"Oh sweetie…" She said sadly as she rubbed his back, "It’s okay. I’m so sorry. Don’t you worry." Inside, Cadance was kicking herself for putting him to bed in a room so far away. Of course he’d freak out and think they abandoned him. His aversion to being alone could only be explained by an extreme amount of neglect in his previous life. Her guilt bubbled up, and she nuzzled him affectionately, "I’ll never abandon you. Never ever. I’m so sorry I scared you; I wasn’t trying to."
"It’s… okay," Kieran mumbled as he hugged tighter, releasing a large yawn.
Cadance cooed, "Let’s get back to sleep then," she said sweetly as she looked up at Shining. They shared a smile before returning to the covers and lying back down. Cadance held the filly close to her chest with her wings wrapped around him, just like the night before. "Sleep safely, little one," she said with another nuzzle to his head.
He hummed happily, "Cadance?" There was a pause as she waited patiently. "Thank you." He said quietly.
She blushed and nuzzled him again. "Any time, honey." She felt a feeling build up in her chest as she pulled him a bit tighter and kissed his head. "I love you, Kieran."
She waited for a reaction, but as she looked down, she held in a giggle as the foal was already sound asleep. Peacefully nestled against her chest. And there was only one other thing on her mind: 'He might need a therapist after all.'
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Wow i wasn't expecting this update at all, i was just switching between pages and boom, new chapter! Thank you! And congratulations for the amount of likes and views!
I'll proceed to read the chapter rn!
Well, here's to hoping that Kieran gets some help from Sunburst with his magic and is open to some therapy.
The correct word is unfazed. It's a very common mistake.
Steps and missteps with Kieran. Maybe a little help with self-image is called for. Give him a masculine mane-cut and perhaps something appropriate to wear. That will also help him see that Cadance and Shining are doing their best to see him as someone worthwhile and worthy of their attention.
day?
Here's hoping some puzzles get unlocked come Sunburst's visit tomorrow.
To be honest, I am actually glad Cadence went against Twilight. With how overly excited that mare can get, she could easily overhelm keiran and make the situation worse than it currently is.
Hey high standards are good, better than saying 'screw all of you, I post what I want, you don't like it, don't read.' Just so long as you don't burn yourself out! ;)
Kieran and Shining get closer and Kieran seems to be getting seperation anxiety for Cadance, alas the cost of a loving family member and Kieran being reintroduced to such a thing inside a new body with hormones.
Quite the mess, good for you for factoring all that in! :D
another beautiful chapter
too wholesome for my heart to handle
11646045
Yeah twilight would certainly go crazy making a mile long list of questions and that would not help the kid fragile mental health. Starlight likes learning but she doesn't worship it like twilight.
Likely yeah
My best guess is that it's some kind of muscle atrophy but for magic, since he's essentially using a muscle he's never had before.
Yeah Keiran needed a visit with a certai. Dr wolf
11646135
Isn't he based in ponyville thou
I really like that Shjning got a chance to show some smarts here. My heart aches for Kyrnan's situation, and It's so nice seeing both Shining and Cadance trying to help him out.
I'm a little confused on the time frame - at this age (Fluyy's and Kyrnan's body) Twilight would be Princess of Equestria for several years. Or was the mention of Hearth's Waming in Ponyville reference to Starlight? I'll have to reread that passage.
Anyway, this is a really enjoyable story and can't see where you take it next.
11646034
Good ideas!
I'm glad to see Kieran open up so much to Cadance & Co. It's very heartwarming, despite the rather sad tone of Kieran disassociating with his new body. I imagine that's at least half the reason why he's having trouble with magic since the whole concept of it draws from your mental willpower and whatever mystic force might be in play.
I do hope to see Kieran getting help from a professional psychologist specialized in helping others with trauma, at the very least. It's always a bad idea to let someone work it out by themselves.
I do have some hangups with the chapter, though:
Please, please, please, avoid using the word filly at all with Kieran if possible. It's rather disorienting and not appropriate to refer to him as such. Sure, technically, that is what he is, but then you might as well just say foal. There are plenty of gender-neutral words you can use instead.
And another thing:
The second paragraph is a bit awkward. Generally, you want to avoid unclear dialogue about who's speaking 'til the last word. The section would be fine if it is one paragraph, but splitting it had me thinking Cadance was the one speaking at first. Which would be kinda hilarious out of context, but not what you intended, I imagine.
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11646044
Fixed, thank you.
11646237
Yeah, I flip-flopped between filly and foal. I don't know why, but for some reason, my writing brain thinks that I need to say "filly" every once in a while to remind the reader that he is still one. Especially when the chapter doesn't specifically focus on his gender issue. Also, the third-person view is supposed to be neutral, so I thought it made sense to refer to it that way. I'll probably try to stay gender neutral in future chapters to keep things simple.
11646049
Ahh, someone saw exactly what I was going for. Score! Thank you.
11646176
Well, it's been around 14 years since the show ended, timeline-wise. (Something like that.) I imagine Twilight would still be helping with the School of Friendship even that many years later. But yes, the point of all that was to say Starlight was stuck on her duties at the school.
great chapter
11646268
Hmmm...14 years after the show, yet Luna still calls herself Princess and immortal, or was that part of the show retconned? Even if it was a slip of the tongue or old habits, Luna still goes into ponies dreams?
11646310
Why would any of that change? Luna will always be a Princess. She is still immortal. She is the only creature that can enter dreams to fight off Nightmares. Retiring doesn't change any of that.
This was a great story I hope to see more chapters
11646034
No no, he was still grounded in the physical reality, he clearly hasn't phased into a new one
You say the chapter was missing something.
If I might be permitted, the only thing it's missing is more bonding time with Flurry, Cadence and Shining. It's found family in Equestria, I need more pony piles and cuddles in every chapter.
For real though it was fine and still sets us up for new stuff in another chapter.
Perhaps since he was human his body doesn't know how activate the wing muscles
Believe me its hard to do so
Another great chapter! I can totally understand holding yourself up to higher standards, but this is a fanfiction website and honestly most of us are just glad we get more stories to read. I can poke around the chapter a bit though if you want some correction.
This entire first paragraph is kind of clunky, and something about the first sentence seems exceptionally jarring. It's been a decade since I've taken a proper English class, but I think the "as" sets up the sentence for more after "royal duties" and makes the entire thing feel cut short. I also don't think you should be starting a chapter with "Later" in this sense because it's an adverb, and the word group it's modifying is in the previous chapter. Also, your tenses aren't consistent- you mostly use the present tense here while you use the past tense for most of the rest of the chapter. A better way to write this entire sentence might be
You can use this if you want, make your own, or leave it as is. It's up to you. I'm a commenter, not a grammar cop.
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A bit of a continuation error here, you established in chapter 5 that Kieran can't read Equish (or whatever you wanna call pony language)
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Poor Kieran's attachment issues are really strong. I'm guessing there might be some mental regression from being in a less mature body? Either that or his abuse was severe enough that he never learned any emotional independence. We know he was taken in by the foster system when he was 14, and did some shoplifting and dumpster-diving before that. I'm now wondering what his life was like before that, like his birth parents, because if he's this messed up at sixteen they mustn't have been any good either. Cadance and Shining are proving to be excellent foster parents; now they need to get this poor boy some therapy once he's a little more settled.
No need for that! Just make put him in factory and let's him pulled himself up from avocado and stopped eating bootstrap.
i.imgflip.com/3nbr72.jpg
Nice. Really nice.
This chapter made me cry
Yeah Cadance, really should have seen that coming. Stability is an absolute must at this point, and unexpectedly stuffing him in a new place without warning was a very silly mistake. Even tossing him with Flurry would have been better.
The flow was a bit different, but yeah your judgment of yourself is to harsh. It repeated some old ground but did cover some important issues with their damage. Your portrayal of trauma reads like some points of my own problems and thus feels very real. Keep up the good work please.
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This is the type of constructive feedback every writer dreams of receiving. This comment is a rare gem…
Thanks for the chapter.
I have just finished reading this story from the beginning, and think that it is very good.
Poor Kieran might indeed need a therapist to talk to.
Well, at least he is emotionally recovering. That`s a good thing.
I honestly loved this chapter, I'm really enjoying the tonal shift from more comedy to the more serious. You really showed him having some problems without spelling it out for us, and it seemed really realistic, I can put myself on his shoes and just feel the anxiety he has. I think you're doing great, just keep doing what you're doing and it'll turn out wonderful
Erm... this being right after you acknowledged their need for someone to be there when they wake up sounds unbelieveable.
Que bonito2👍😃
This is a really wonderful story. I will never get tired of wish fulfillment (if you’ll pardon my saying so) stories like this, and this is a choice one. It’s wonderful to see Cadance and Shining as developed characters, not to mention Flurry. Everypony is just so sweet. I’m looking forward to seeing Kieran meet others, especially Starlight, because I’m biased.
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In all fairness, we all have moments where we need downtime away from others so we can just decompress properly. Even if we need others around us and don't want to be alone, being alone is sometimes important because there are things we simply can't do in the presence of others.
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Yes, we agree, but in the context of this story and when Cadence thinks that... it broke our willing suspension of disbelief.
Even the best stories have flaws(subjective), this one is theirs.
11653782
I'll give my thoughts which nobody asked for. Also, I'm completely indifferent and just simply giving my opinion; writing is subjective. And I'm clearly going to be biased because I wrote it lol.
It's a completely avoidable situation, but I don't write my characters to think perfectly. And I do not think that Cadance's thought process of giving him some alone time was even wrong. Mostly because, at the beginning of the day, Kieran wants nothing to do with her. And after the nap, where Cadance says, "He'll need me when he wakes up," Kieran goes on for a moment about how she has better things to do, which could certainly lead to thinking he must be fine sleeping alone and simply nervous when he's left to his thoughts while awake. She also doesn't just put him in the guest room thoughtlessly; it was obvious she was conflicted. She simply made the wrong choice in this situation.
In my personal opinion, a very tired Cadance, after working as a princess most of the day and also taking care of a traumatized foal, would very likely think the way I had her do. I wouldn't fault Cadance for assuming the foal that spent three weeks calling her a witch and trying to get her to leave him alone would have already attached himself to her as much as he has. It's one thing to be attached, and another thing to be completely panicked when alone. This is also why she says at the very end that he probably needs therapy; essentially, she doesn't know enough about his behavior to help him alone.
You've got to remember that Cadance has only one child right now, and for all intents and purposes, a perfect one at that. Flurry is nice, respectful, and seems perfectly mentally stable (other than her crushing loneliness). Kieran is not like her in the slightest. He's rough around the edges, his personality can be off-putting, and he has more trauma than most people would ever see in a regular pony. Cadance should, at this point in the story, still be making missteps while taking care of him. In another scenario, it could've easily gone smoothly, with Kieran being appreciative of being given the room all to himself.
Of course, you can just call it a writing flaw, but there was some thought behind it. I didn't just write the situation out for extra drama. (Well, I did, but it served other purposes. Plus, drama is a welcome addition for me.)
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Fair, but still, personally and all that...
Story is still good, that one moment just didn't go over too well with this specific person.
And now for that long, awkward moment of silence(preferably during a long elevator ride) when we've both said what we've wished to say and don't know how to continue the conversation :p
11659976
I don't see what the problem is, or why you need to rewrite the chapter. Every story needs some sort of conflict and/or an antagonist, but you should just focus on the integrity of the story, and not worry about the like to dislike ratio. 800+ likes and less than 30 dislikes is better than most stories get.
11659976
Don't listen to the haters, my dude. I think a lot of people read the word "Alicorn" and expect some wild self-insert power fantasy instead of a character study on trauma and found family. Then there are those reading that clearly don't understand trauma and just expect Kieran to stop making the same mistakes after being hugged twice. You should always be writing for YOU first, cause you sure can't please everyone on this site. I'm still in full support of whatever you want to do with your story, so please don't get discouraged.
11660004
My money's on him being the guard that captured him the first time and then dropped him during the smokescreen. He probably caught a little flak for that, but Smoke Strike honestly seems kind of sociopathic calling Kieran worthless trash like that. He's built up Kieran in his head as his own personal enemy and that sort of thing is going to go very, very poorly for everyone.
11659976
I saw one person commenting about forced whatever.
I myself commented on smoke strike not being a good pony.
I dunno what else was said cuz apparently the chapter is gone and I'm piggy backing off a comment reply chain.
As for people disliking it? It could be because of updates putting the story up on the page, and you get new viewers who don't like what you're putting out or are just spiteful. I don't think it's the existing readers hating on your work nearly as much as you think it might be, just new ones who showed up because it was recently updated.
Regarding Keiran deciding to not speak up about getting horsewhipped. The Bible says to turn the other cheek. What most people don't understand is this means the first time could be an accident. If the same thing happens again, then that's what it becomes a problem to deal with. Restraint, verify, then respond.
why cant i see the new chapter even though its posted?
11659976
Might be any of these things
-Antagonist guard that promised of more than mellow drama. It's possible that this warmhearted story will turned into an adventure story. Protaganist got kidnapped and less time bonding with Cadance, Flurry.
-Possibility of protaganist becoming a colt, reinforced by the fact that his favorite color were mentioned(his new coat color?). This site hate female to male TF, especially this late and suddenly, where F-to-M lovers are likely already left and M-to-F struck around.
-Feeling of betrayal. The last chapter ended with 'Starlight Glimmer is coming' and that's one of fandom favorite pony. 'Where is my waifu!' could be the reason of dislikes. The fact that this story had unstable release schedule and the chapter also felt somewhat disconnect from previous one didn't help either(I felt there was something missing between this and last one.
-the protaganist's current state. 'Body influence minds' and mindset of keeping things quite and 'hope nothing will blown up' are touchy subjects that make or break story for many. To clearly introduce both of those to at the same time might break the story for somes.
What happened to chapter8?
What happened to chapter 8? just wanted to reread it now that it's not the middle of the night and I am fully awake.
Just, please bring it back. I enjoyed it very much and would hate for it to be changed.