> A Fateful Flurry > by FIygon > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I carefully stalked my prey. With my body held low to the ground, and my breathing stilled. I crept ever closer to my target, the target. The prey that would jumpstart me into lifelong health and happiness. One step, then another, just one more… I made it! I was within grabbing distance, and it would be all mine, forever, until the end of time. I just needed to wait for its bodyguard to be distracted for only a singular moment, and I’d be scot-free. Hiding in the shadow as I waited, it felt like too long had passed. A bead of sweat passed down my forehead and dripped onto the ground. I almost started to wonder, had he noticed? Immediately after that thought passed, he stepped to the side. Interacting with yet another one of his species. Carefully, I took a step out of the shadow, reaching up intending to grab what was rightfully mine. I’d worked so hard for this single moment; if I messed up now, my whole life would have been for naught. I stuck my tongue out in concentration as I reached upward, feeling around until I locked onto my target. With a quick grab, I retracted back into the shadow with one quick movement. And I had disappeared with my prey like the stealthiest of predators should. For but a moment, I gazed down at my day’s work. A perfect apple stood proudly between my two hooves. My eyes lit up with wonder; I’d managed to grab the most delectable apple possible. I almost forgot that I had just stolen it from one of the local market stalls. I was quickly reminded of this fact when I heard a gruff voice assault my ears: "Hey! Kid! I don’t tolerate thieves!" I panicked and nearly dropped what I’d worked for in the process. But it was fine; all I had to do now was escape; the deed was already done. Keeping my head low, I pulled the dark blue cloak further over my head and began to walk away. Now the shopkeeper was left with two options. Chasing me or staying to deal with the line of customers. Now, there was, of course, always option number three. Where the pony shouting at you is, in fact, a unicorn. And I’ve completely misjudged the situation, and I’m now being pulled back by the same cloak I thought would be my savior. I was quickly de-hooded, or, as I like to call it, unmasked. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last. Their stunned expressions always gave me ample time to rattle off an excuse and bolt away. Which is exactly what I did. "Hey, yeah, hi! It’s me, Princess Flurry Heart, and I’m dressed in my halloween costume, but I got really hungry and don’t worry my mom willpayyoubackforit okay bye!" And like the absolute mastermind of stealth and deception I was, I disappeared into the shadows. After putting my hood back up, of course. As I’d expected, the vendor had been so stunned by my inconceivably innate talent to imitate others. And I made off without a hitch, returning to my favorite spot while making sure nobody tailed me. Walking into the alleyway that I’d come to know as home, I sighed a long, happy, relieved sigh. I’d won; I truly was the best thief around. I walked over to my newly renovated cardboard box at the back of the alleyway, just as I heard a sound to my left. I lifted my head up and greeted the shaggy orange cat that paid me a visit on a daily basis. "Hey there, Pickles! I got a great haul today!" I lifted the apple out of my cloak and held it up proudly. In return, I was given a soft meow as the cat hopped down and rubbed against me while purring. Thankfully, I’d gotten used to the cat being large enough to push me over if I wasn’t careful. I comfortably sat my rump in my comfy cardboard box. Full of styrofoam and stolen cloth, a perfect and practically capable bed and house all in one! I took one more look at my apple before biting into it voraciously. The juices were perfect, the flavor was immaculate, and this truly was the pinnacle of days around here! I stared down at the filly who was eating said apple. Pink, purple, and suspiciously out of place dirt across its nose. A one-to-one replica of the princess Flurry Heart, but with my classic human charm instead. I’d long since gone through the stages of grief that made me lash out at said puddle in anger or sadness. Now, seeing that same filly enjoying this perfectly good apple, all I could do was smile down at the reflection, which mimicked me. You know, life really started looking up for me once I realized I’d never escape. Y’know. Once I realized that life was meaningless and that everything in it was just some omniscient beings’ very long practical joke, of which, I must’ve been the universal punchline. Listen, whoever is out there, I’m living out of spite right now, not any other reason. My first couple of attempts to escape this city were insanely useless. After escaping the witch’s castle, and realizing that I was in the only habitable space for miles beyond the outside. This ‘Crystal Empire’ I was stuck in was currently going through winter. And you see, there’s nothing within miles outside of the Crystal Empire. And tracking through tons of snow isn’t my idea of an escape. There was that time I tried to escape by train, but after my usual Flurry Heart excuse, they immediately called for the guards. Then I tried hiding on the underside of the train. Well, it turns out that metal gets really, really cold in the winter! So that’s a no-go escape route until at least spring. And then there are the guards. Don’t even get me started. Crystallized pawns of the head witch in the castle are all they were. They were dumb as bricks, though. One of them found me in my box one time, and I told him I was playing hide and seek with my parents. I still haven’t seen him come back to this day. I’ve made it my job to make their job as hard as possible. Causing every inconvenience at any opportune time I can get my grubby little hooves on. It was the only thing that fueled me in the increasingly dark and colder nights that were coming. Because if you get to have that much power while all sharing the same brain cell, then I should at least be allowed to laugh at my efforts. I would be nicer to them if they weren’t always asking around town for a rambunctious pink filly fake. Specifically, they used the words, "A pink filly that looks exactly like Flurry, with a knack for making everyone’s lives as miserable as can be." And hey, if they’re going to slander me like that, I’ve got to live up to it. After finishing my apple, I tossed it away into the pile of trash not very far from me. Standing up and stretching my hooves with a content sigh. "That hit the spot," I mumbled as I looked at the orange tabby, who continued to clean itself. "I’m headin’ out again, pickles. See you in a bit, little homie." He responded with a confident meow. As I walked along the crystal sidewalks that spanned the town, I kept on cursing my inability to acquire a pair of sunglasses. The one thing I hadn’t gotten used to was all the reflective shininess of literally everything in this place. Every building, sidewalk, and heck, even most of the ponies glittered like a three-year-old’s jewelry drawer. Most ponies paid me no mind; I’d made sure to steal a particularly trendy cloak. And then I went back to steal a few more so that I’d be able to change in case I became too obvious. I had made a daily routine, none of which was a guarantee to happen within said day, but more of like a bucket list for each day. One, start my day by stealing something or begging for scraps at restaurants. The restaurant thing fell by the wayside when word spread about me; instead, they’d just call guards on me and take me back to see her. Princess Cadance and I had very few interactions, one of which, infinitely cemented our lifelong rivalry. With me being the Disney princess and her being the evil witch. What happened during said meeting, you ask? She begged me incessantly to stay and allow her to make up for the fact that I was here in the first place. And then, y’know, she threw on the whole guilt trip speech where she said she’d been hoping beyond anything to have another child. And that even though what happened was tragic, we could also see it as a blessing for both of us and- yadda, yadda, yadda. I got only about a minute or two into this conversation before bolting for a window, spitting in a guard’s face, and falling about twenty feet into a conveniently placed bush. I was not about to become some fairy-dress-wearing, tea-drinking, ballroom dancing, forced marriage-having princess. If I was going to be reincarnated in the body of a female pony and forced to live in pony Russia, then I was going to be a princess like a man. It’s not that Princess Cadance was a bad pony or anything. It was just that she was disgustingly nice. And nah, I’d have to pass. The only people that are as nice as Cadance, definitely have something to hide. And her husband, or whatever, "Shining Armor". Shining armor is right, because every time that guy walked within a mile radius, you’d know. His armor reflected the sun like a weaponized laser beam. It made avoiding him at all times extremely easy. Anyway, the second act of my day is always followed by a bit of good old-fashioned pranking. The third act was stealing more food if possible, and the fourth act was where I was currently at. I stopped and stared upward at the sign, "Crystal Empire Memorial". With a heavy sigh, I walked forward through the gateway. Glancing around at each headstone as I passed through. I walked a bit off the path, through some unused land for further burials, until I eventually came upon a large tree with a rock under it. I sat down under the tree, staring at the stone, which was merely a stand-in for a headstone. I had painstakingly etched it with a stick. On it read, "To the one and only who may remember, to the deceased not yet parted, Kieran, 2007-2023, may he rest in peace." I bowed my head in condolences and felt a tear prick at the edges of my eye. "Only sixteen; he was so young!" I couldn’t tell at this point if I was acting or not as I raised a hoof to the sky. "He wasn’t ready; why did you take him, oh merciless fate? Also, where the hell is he?" I sighed long and sadly before clasping my hooves together and giving a short bow, "Amen." Standing back up, I stared for another moment longer at the gravestone. It was true; the gravestone was of me. At first, it was for the joke, but it had slowly turned into a bit of a coping mechanism. A way to remind myself who I had been, in case my time here caused me to forget. That way, my routine would always lead me here, to the resting place of my old life. I began walking out of the graveyard, passing by a couple of mourning ponies who’d paid me no mind. The fact of the matter was that I was alive again, whether I wanted it or not. And if I thought about it for much longer, I would only spiral into another state of depression. I wasn’t angry that I’d been given a second chance at life. But out of all things, why was this the card in the deck that fate had dealt me? I couldn’t have been reincarnated into, like, something different? Something a bit cooler and less princessy? Although I guess without that very specific princess, I wouldn’t be here whatsoever. As I walked out of the graveyard, I felt the first thing I’d hoped not to feel. And looking up to confirm my suspicions, I sighed. Tiny flakes of snow began to fall; the clouds weren’t that dense, but in the distance I could see what looked to be a very large set of clouds. I groaned in anger; hopefully it wouldn’t be as bad as last time it snowed. There were a couple of inches, and if it was any worse, I’d been in trouble. But the more I passed through town, the lower my head sank in realization. Parents herding their children inside, older couples conversing about the weather. Each thing I heard only served to lower my head a bit more. "You think it’s going to snow a lot?" "Of course! The weather ponies said at least 10 inches, if not more." "I heard it’s supposed to be our largest winter storm in years!" "If it follows calculations, it may be the largest in history. Remember to keep the heat on high!" I began to drown out the noise of everyone talking subconsciously. I didn’t need to hear anymore about how hard I was screwed. Although one specific set of guards did make me weary. They were approaching every pony with a piece of paper and would quickly move onto the next when they shook their heads. I hid under a small bench as one passed by, talking to a pony not that far away from me. "Have you seen this little filly? It’s very urgent." "No, sir… Isn’t that Princess Flurry Heart?" The guard hummed impatiently, "No, it just resembles her. Please, ma’am. If you have heard any rumors or anything, I need you to tell me." "I’m sorry, I haven’t heard or seen such a filly before. Is the dear alright?" The guard only sighed with an intense undertone of worry in his breath as he moved on to the next pony he could find. I tried to act as naturally as possible as I resumed my walk. Thankfully, I didn’t see any guards as I slinked into my narrow alleyway. I retreated to my box with haste as I stuffed my cloak in, along with layering another much larger box atop my original box home. Turning it into a double-layer box abode. I felt I was forgetting something as I looked around. "Pickles?" I heard a soft and gentle meowing from atop the fence, and I smiled fondly. The snow around me slowly began to increase in pace as I looked up at him. "Come on, Pickles, hide in my box; it’s cozy!" I said patting the side of the box. The tabby tilted his head and looked to be about to jump down from the fence when a much older mare called from the other side of the fence. "Mittens! Come here, sweetie, it’s cold!" I felt my heart sink as I watched Pickles grow unsure and indecisive. He turned his head to look behind him, then back down at me. He gave me one last heartfelt meow before jumping down on the opposite side and slinking away. "Pickles?" I called after him helplessly. I didn’t know how to feel; I thought he was a stray just like me. "Yeah! Is that how you feel?" I shouted after him. "I thought you were cool, Pickles! Turns out you're just an everyday little house tabby after all!" I felt tears pricking at my eyes as my voice wavered a bit. "Well, I don’t need you anyway!" I turned around and looked at my box house with pride, even as one of the sides fully collapsed under the growing weight of snow. "Me and my boxes are perfectly fine, and we’re going to tough it out through the storm." I said much quieter. I felt the wind begin to blow much harder, and the snow accelerated in speed. Without my cloak, I felt frozen, so I quickly scrambled inside my box and buried myself under styrofoam and three layers of cloaks. It wasn’t perfect, and it was still viciously cold, but it was more tolerable than being out inside the storm. I dared not sleep, or the blue demon invader would come to interrogate me yet again. And hypothermia and sleep don’t mix. Suddenly I heard a voice—the same mare’s voice from earlier on the other side of the fence. "What’s gotten into you, Mittens? It’s freezing!" There was a long bout of silence as I held my breath and tried to be as quiet as possible. "There’s nothing over there, Mittens; come inside." I heard a door close and finally released my breath. As I sat in the bitter cold, a smile came over my face. ‘You really did try to help me, Pickles,’ I thought happily. > 1 - Meant to Live > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Heya there!" I groggily lifted my head, which was already a surprise. I felt like I’d been hit by a bus, and I slowly opened my eyes. The sight that met them was a small pink pony with purple and pink hair that had blue streaks. Her eyes were comically sized as she stared at me with an overly giddy expression. Of course, the first thing I asked was, "Am I dead?" She giggled and hopped between two hooves, "Of course not silly! I made you not dead anymore!" Well, that was just a sure sign that I was dead. My eyes widened a bit at these new implications, and I shook my head as throbbing pain coursed through it. I lifted my hand to try and rub at it, but a much harder impact connected with my face than expected. It felt like I’d just punched myself. I pulled my hand back in confusion and saw a pink hoof. Panic now began coursing through me as I immediately looked down at the rest of myself. Yep, I was a pink pony. And nearly the exact same as the one sitting in front of me.  "Ouch! I bet that hurt. I’m Princess Flurry Heart, by the way. What’s your name?" She asked as she got closer. I immediately propelled these new limbs to get me as far away from her as possible as I released a yell of confusion. The yell, which was that of another little girl, "What did you do to me?!" She tilted her head and hummed innocently, "I wished for a twin sister, and now I have one!" I held the forsaken pink hoof up to keep her at bay. "No, no, no. That is not how this works!" I protested loudly. "You don’t just suddenly wish and get a twin sister. And I am not a freaky pony thing!"  Flurry’s ears seemed to lower a bit sadly. "Yes, it does; that’s how magic works! I went outside and wished on a shooting star, and now you’re a freaky pony thing just like me!" She giggled at the words as she said them and stepped a bit closer. "What should I name my new sister?" I shook my head and both hooves wildly in a display of disbelief. "I’m… I’m a human! My name is Kieran; you can’t just repurpose my existence for your own needs! That goes against, like… every single one of my constitutional rights!" Flurry giggled, "Consti-what now? What’s a human anyway? Oh, are we playing pretend? I get to be a manticore!" She leaned in even closer. "Also, what’s a silly name like Kieran?" I looked at her incredulously; this princess definitely was a child, that’s for sure. If the way she acted and the size of her compared to the rest of the room were anything to go off of.  She saw my look of confusion, approached, and began pondering with her hoof against her chin. Eventually she shrugged and said, "Oh well, whatever my new sister wants to be called, she gets!" I sat for a couple of moments, really letting what she had said sink in. Then I caught on to her slander of my name a second ago, and I wasn’t having it. "What’s so weird about Kieran? At least it’s not over the top like Flurry Heart." "Who cares about names anyway?" Flurry said with an enthusiastic giggle as she began to nuzzle me like a dog. "Oh, momma’s going to be so happy!" I recoiled away until I eventually shoved her away with a bit of force. The face she gave of sadness did actually make me feel bad, but I wasn’t just some stuffed animal! I slowly began to put my hooves underneath me; it couldn’t be that hard walking with four instead of two, right? Or so I thought, as I immediately fell forward and face planted. As I struggled to make sense of my new appendages, I interrogated the psychotic little princess. "So what do you mean you wished for me? How does that work?"  Her ears slowly rose on her head, and she animatedly began acting out her memory: "I was on my balcony when I looked up and saw a shooting star. So I looked at it, closed my eyes, and wished for a twin sister with my whole heart. Then my horn began to glow, and you slowly began to appear." I managed to stand up for a couple of seconds before falling to the ground, which was quite painful. As I collected myself off the floor, I groaned, "Wait, so magic is real? Where am I even?" Flurry began to prance around without a single worry in the world. "You’re in Equestria! Land of friendship! And we’re in the Crystal Empire!" Alright, so a new world completely. Got it. I guess all my experience reading and playing games prepared me for this outcome in a very slight way. There’s a new world, magic is real, and now you’re here. Just roll with it; it'll be less painful than trying to deny everything. I stood for a couple extra seconds—it honestly wasn’t that hard—but I was just too confused to focus entirely on learning to walk. "The last thing I remember is dying in my old world and floating in the most peaceful silence I’ve ever known." I said quietly. Flurry Heart grew concerned as she gasped, "What? You died!? Oh no…" I sighed and resisted the urge to facepalm with hooves, "Yes, I wasn’t kidding. I really used to be a human named Kieran. Your little science experiment is certainly fascinating, but I don’t remember signing up to be a test subject." I huffed out angrily, then face-planted. I was really holding back the urge to curse right now. She began thinking to herself again, "When my horn began glowing and I wished for a sister, I remember hearing somepony else for a moment." Is everything these creatures say going to have the word ‘pony’ replacing any existing description of others? Do indefinite pronouns not exist here? Focus! Focus. My ears perked up as I turned and raised my brow at her. She continued on her tangent, "The voice was really sad, and they said something about… not wanting to be alone anymore." I felt a large pang of hurt in my chest as I lowered my head to the floor. But I looked back up just as quickly with an annoyed expression and said, "Wait, so you just read my dying thoughts like that? That has to be like… a breach of privacy." She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head, "Yeah, I was so caught up wishing for a sister, I guess I didn’t think too hard about it all." She shrugged at me, "So what was being dead like?" I huffed, "Peaceful, quiet… dead, way less confusing. I don’t know." I looked around at her room awkwardly for a moment. Everything was either pink, purple, or blue with frilly designs. The walls and floor were made of crystal, and the furniture was adorned with crystals; it was certainly gaudy. But, you know, it checked out. She did say she was a princess, and this is apparently the "Crystal Empire" if this psychotic little necromancer was trustworthy with her descriptions, anyhow. I took a couple of steps carefully, which ended up working better than I thought. "So, aren’t you like a kid or something? How do you have the power to just… bring me back from the dead like this?" She giggled and spread her wings wildly as she let her horn glow. "I’m an alicorn! Alicorns are the strongest ponies in the world. There are only five of us!" She gasped as her eyes widened in realization: "There’s six now! You’re one too!" Well, that was certainly a fun tidbit of information. I may be a carbon copy of a pink princess, but this kid was already one of the most powerful ponies. I could work with a new life like that. It was sort of like all those anime where they get some stupidly overpowered ability in a new life. Wait, did I get isekai’d!? Flurry Heart giggled as she watched the expression dance across my face. "You’re kinda like a video game character respawning; that’s really cool!" Huh, we kinda had similar thoughts just then.  "I don’t remember sitting at any campfires recently." I said with a smirk and raised brows, which quickly widened as I looked at her with surprise. "Wait. You have video games here?" She nodded proudly and pointed over to a section of her room that had an odd-looking but distinctive television with a couple of things that must’ve been game consoles. "Momma gets me all the new consoles! Wanna play?" I stared in wonder. An entirely new collection of games and consoles in a new world? What kind of gems could I find here? I had to grab my outreaching hoof with my other hoof. Wait, no, focus. More pressing matters at hand. Interrogate the necromancer before engaging in recreational activity. "So why are there only five… or six, of us alicorns? Like, did you train or something to get this powerful, Flurry?" I asked with a curiously raised brow. She huffed and looked away. I must’ve touched a sore spot for her as she stared at the floor. "Because my momma is one! Why can’t I be one too?" "Your… mom is one?" I asked slowly, with worry. If this kid had a mother, who’s to say she wouldn’t hear Flurry’s story and immediately expel me from this new body? And I’m sure an adult alicorn is infinitely more terrifying than this kid. Y’know, being a female and a pony was certainly jarring, but at the very least I was alive again. I didn’t exactly want to lose this opportunity. She smiled and nodded. "My momma is the ruler of the Crystal Empire. She’s super cool and super nice; I love her! Oh, you have to meet her!" Flurry bounded forward and grabbed one of my hooves, but I quickly pulled it out of her grasp. How was she even grasping things in the first place with literal hooves? "No, no. Wait Flurry. I’m not exactly an expert on magic, ponies, or… moms. But I have a feeling you weren’t supposed to do this." "Do what?" She asked innocently.  I gestured down at my entire body, "This. Flurry, you realize you just reincarnated me as a copy of yourself. Right? Unless in your world it’s normal to grab every single dying soul and create living copies. Sorta creepy, by the way." Flurry’s growing apprehension was certainly interesting to watch as she made up excuses. "Well, it’s okay; I heard momma wanted another foal anyway. I’m sure she’ll be okay with it." I groaned and rubbed my hoof against my forehead, "Flurry, let me put this into perspective. I was a human male; I died, and you created a body out of nothing to give my soul a vessel in an alien world. Do you get it?" Flurry’s eyes widened. "I have a twin brother?" She asked in wonder. I looked at her incredulously and said, "No, well, not anymore. I think?" I slowly lowered my head and looked between my legs, then back up with an affirmative nod as I blushed wildly. "Nope! Definitely a girl now!" She waved her hoof dismissively. "It’s fine! You look like a pony now anyway; nobody will realize." I tried to resist the urge to facepalm once more as my eye twitched. "You’re certainly… optimistic. Aren’t you?" Suddenly, a knock came at the door. And a much older male voice assaulted my ears: "Flurry, dear, are you getting ready for bed, sweetheart?" Flurry seemed to panic as she whispered harshly at me, "Hide! Daddy might think you’re a changeling!" "A what?" I asked back as she began pushing me towards her bed. I took the hint and shoved myself underneath the bed quite easily. I am very small now. What a curveball she decided to throw at me! There are changelings in this world? The things that literally steal children’s appearances in old folktales? How in the world did this kid exactly think this would work? I was doomed. I’d be blasted into a third dimension the moment her parents saw me. Flurry called out after composing herself, "Yes, daddy!" She walked over and opened the door. "I was going to bed suuuper soon! I just wanted to watch the stars!" Her dad stepped in. A large and imposing unicorn with a kind and gentle face. He was white, with a blue mane and tail, and a tattoo of a shield on his butt. He chuckled, "Well, you know, little fillies need to get their rest soon." He said with a smile as he leaned down and nuzzled her. Seeing her standing by her father made me realize how small the both of us were. She barely reached his stomach with her head… Flurry giggled, "Yes, daddy. I’ll go to bed in a minute." He nodded his head, then kissed her forehead and said, "Goodnight, sweetie. When mommy comes to say goodnight, tell her I beat her to your room for once." Flurry giggled sincerely, "You did, Daddy! I’ll rub it in her face!" "That’s my girl." He said with a chuckle as he exited. Flurry released a loud breath of relief before coming over to where I was hiding and helping me out from underneath. I knew the kid would be upset, but everything she told me made me make my final decision. I looked up to her seriously. "Flurry, you got me into this situation. You have to help me escape from it." Flurry’s ears flattened against her head. "Escape? Why can’t you stay?" I could see small tears forming in her eyes after that. I sighed and leaned forward, pulling her into a genuine hug. She was just a small child after all, with amazing powers, and she had reincarnated me, which was truly amazing. "Because I can’t let them find me and try to steal my memories or something." "Momma wouldn’t do that!" Flurry protested vehemently. I released her from the hug and backed up, "I don’t belong here, though. I’m a copy; you said it yourself earlier. I’m a changeling, I think?" Flurry shook her head wildly, "No! You’re not a changeling. You're my sister! Changelings steal people’s appearance; I gave you mine; it’s different!" I looked at her sadly and decided to rip the bandaid off as I said, "I’m not your sister, Flurry. I’m sorry." She began tearing up and quickly cried her eyes out, "Do you hate me? Is it because I made you not dead anymore?" I sighed and rested my head on my hoof. I didn’t have the mental capacity for this right now; I myself felt like I’d break down crying in confusion at any moment. I couldn’t console a pony child while doing so. I sighed. "Why else would you hide me from your dad? If you really were confident they wouldn’t hurt me, you’d have let him see me." Flurry’s eyes widened in horror. "No! I-I… I didn’t think… I just, what if he did hurt you before I could explain?" I pointed my hoof at her, "So, you see my point? You need to help me escape." "Why don’t you just stay in my room? I’ll bring you back food, toys, we can play video games; and… and…" The poor kid was hiccuping through her tears now. I shook my head and put a hoof on her shoulder. "I actually want to live this new life you gave me to its fullest. It’s actually super wonderful that you did this for me; I mean it, Flurry." She gave me a small smile before I continued. "But your idea doesn’t sound like a very fun existence." Staying here was such a high risk, regardless of the temptation to play video games. It would only take one misunderstanding between me and the ruler of this "Crystal Empire" and I’d be smoked. Though I may have the upper advantage of her not wanting to attack something that looks like her child. Flurry stayed silent for a while longer before she sniffled and wiped her eyes with an affirmative nod. "O-Okay then. I’ll show you how to sneak out." Just then, another knock came at the door. But the knocking pony didn’t seem to feel like waiting as the door began opening. Flurry, in panic, pushed me as hard as possible to the side. She's lucky I caught myself on these new hooves. I hid behind a small bean bag as what seemed to be her mother entered. Her mother was pink, much like Flurry. She had hair that was cream, purple, and hot pink. On her flank was a crystal heart. And on her head was a golden crown, and she wore a golden necklace and golden hoof shoes. Or whatever they were. Regardless of the fact that she had bags under her eyes and looked tired as all sin, she was certainly royalty. "There’s my princess." She cooed, "Getting ready for bed, little one?" Flurry nodded nervously as she shot me a nervous glance. "Y-Yes momma! I was just getting to bed!" The much larger mare nodded her head with a smile. "Want mommy to tuck you in?" Flurry was practically dying under the pressure already. I slowly nodded at Flurry from my spot, using my hooves to very poorly illustrate my plan for my first ever pony stealth mission. I creeped quietly towards the door behind her mother. Flurry hummed confusedly, then she smiled up at the mare, "I… sure, momma!" Her mom giggled and began to lead Flurry towards the bed, "Are you alright, dear? You seem a bit stressed." The mare placed her hoof against Flurry’s forehead worriedly. Flurry glanced over at me again. Not only was I learning to walk on the job, but I was also trying to do it quietly. But Flurry’s constant nervous glancing didn’t go unnoticed by her mother, who asked, "Are you okay? Is something the matter?" The mare was turning her head, and Flurry quickly groaned loudly. "I think I have a headache, momma." She moaned rather convincingly.  I was nearly to the door now, and her mother grew alarmed. "Oh! I’ll go get you some water and medicine, sweetie!" She began turning again. "No!" Flurry shouted, then she put on another worried smile as her mother looked at her in alarm: "I-I just think I need a bedtime story, is all." I could tell her mother was seeing through the cracks as she raised her eyebrow at her daughter with suspicion. "You haven’t asked for a bedtime story in a long while. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?" This was it; I was nearly at the entrance of the doorway. I took my final step and rested against the doorway, then I looked around the corner. I wanted to pump my fists—or hooves—in victory; there weren’t any guards posted around outside right now. "Did you know Daddy beat you to my room tonight?" Flurry asked casually. Wait to go, kid; keep up the act! I took one step into the hallway and was immediately assaulted with new terrain. Apparently Flurry’s room had a different kind of floor, because whatever was in the hallway was like a slip-and-slide!  My first step into the hallway immediately resulted in me practically flipping over, and my back fell against the floor with an audible thump. It was certainly a loud enough sound to cause distress, and I looked over in horror at Flurry’s mother, who was staring wide-eyed at me. Flurry was covering her face with her hooves. I couldn’t blame her, I guess. This one really was on me; Flurry had done her best, and I failed her. Curse these hooves. But now I was stuck in a predicament as I scrambled wildly to get back on my hooves.  I could see the gears turning in her mother’s head. Her face went between many emotions, one of which was anger. But despite this, her features settled on a worried expression, and she took a step forward. "H-Hello? Who are you, little one?" Huh, that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. Was she faking it and trying to lure me in? Or was she actually going the innocent until proven guilty route? I grew a bit panicked as I finally got onto all four of my hooves. I gave her mother a short friendly wave and rambled, "Oh, don't worry about me; I’m just a simple illusion. Yeah, your daughter is practicing illusion magic now wow would you look at the time alrightgoodnightsleepwellseeyoulater goodbye!" I rambled before taking off, my legs barely giving me any speed, as if I were in a Looney Tunes cartoon. Expertly done. Wait, was running an admission of guilt in this situation? Well, it's too late now. "Wait!" I heard a concerned voice shout out from behind me. Escaping the castle after that point was actually pretty easy. The guards were dumb as bricks, as I came to find out. And the only guard who truly noticed something was off about me was at the entrance to the castle. And I obviously just ran past him. Running into the crystal city at night, I heard guards pouring out of the castle immediately afterwards. I had always wanted to be a fugitive of the law in some fantasy world; I just didn’t expect it to play out like this. Especially since I was a fugitive of the law because of my looks. I was hoping to gain my status by slaying a corrupt monarch or some other hero story. I shook my head at the thought. This wasn’t just a fantasy story; I was in real, actual danger. And I was ill-equipped and hopelessly confused about my situation. Confidence would only take me so far. The streets were empty, so it was quite easy to navigate. But the guards that had been dispatched everywhere made me feel like I was playing a stealth video game. I even used the Solid Snake box technique a few times, where you pick it up and walk a few feet. It worked like a charm! Scarily so, actually. Like I said, the guards were dumb as bricks. Eventually, I found a very small nook that led into a back alley between buildings. I dared to step out of my box shell for only a moment as I looked around. A pair of guards ran past my entrance at that exact moment, confirming for me that I was finally safe here. I released a long and loud sigh. I heard a meow from above and lifted my head just in time to see an orange tabby jump down and begin circling me cautiously. Hey, at least they had cats in this world! This one even sorta reminded me of my old cat. He took a few sniffs at me and then began rubbing against my legs. I giggled. "Hey there, kitty." He stopped and tilted his head with a meow, "I’m gonna call you Pickles." I said with a smile. Flurry Heart bawled into her mother’s chest as Cadance and Shining Armor looked at her with intense worry. Each of them was intensely curious but unable to get words out of her just yet. Cadance rubbed the filly’s back, "Shh… shh… Flurry, sweetie, please tell me what’s going on." Flurry just kept saying the same thing she’d said since Kieran ran away. Shaking her head wildly, "No! No, you’re going to hurt him. He’s not a changeling momma!" "I know! I know, dear. You’ve said that at least a few dozen times already." Cadance said with a sigh. Shining Armor leaned in and nuzzled their daughter, "Honey, we don’t want to hurt anypony. But right now we really need to know what’s going on… for your friend’s safety as well." Flurry sniffled a couple of times, and brought her head back to look her mother in the eyes. "I-I… I was on my balcony before bed, and I wished for a twin sister… And… And…" She broke down crying once again. Cadance was now fully alert with worry as she wrapped her wings around the foal gently, "Than what, sweetie?" Flurry hiccuped. "My horn g-glowed, and I heard somepony. They said they didn’t wanna be alone anymore, and they were sad… And then I was stupid, momma! I pulled whoever I was listening to and made him look like me, but I’m super dumb, and his name was actually Kieran, and he used to be a human and-" Cadance put a hoof over the foal's mouth, as she was literally exhausting herself while talking, "Flurry, slow down! You’re going to pass out." Shining hummed curiously as his face turned a bit whiter than usual. "So, you took somebody’s soul and created a body that looks just like you?" Flurry nodded slowly. "H-He said he had died, and the first thing he saw when waking up was me. But he’s not actually a male anymore, I guess, because I made him just like me." Cadance looked at her daughter in shock as she opened her mouth in disbelief. "You revived somebody, Flurry? H-How-" "I don’t know, momma!" Flurry cried. "I really, really wanted a twin sister! And sometimes I hear you saying you wish you’d had more foals… and it just happened, momma!" Cadance’e expression softened into motherly worry. "Shh…" Cadance nuzzled her tenderly. "Why did your friend Kieran run away?" Flurry rubbed her eyes and sniffled again. "He was scared. Neither of us knew if you would hurt him if I told you. He asked me to help him run away." Cadance and Shining locked eyes with each other and shared a worried glance. "Shiny… It’s winter." He nodded at her with sadness and said, "I’ll have all the troops searching day and night." "No!" Flurry shouted, "Don’t hurt him! Or her! Whatever! It’s my fault, all my fault!" Cadance nuzzled her quickly, "We’re not going to hurt them! We want to help, Flurry. They’re in a new world with a new body, and they’re only a little filly just like you. Also, after just dying, they’re probably hopelessly confused." Flurry’s eyes widened with fear. "Is Kieran in trouble, momma? I don’t want them to get hurt." "Shh… we won’t let them get hurt." Cadance reassured. Shining Armor left the room to give the guards orders as Cadance slowly lowered the filly into the bed. Gently, she kissed her forehead, "Try and sleep, dear; I need to help find them. I promise, we’ll be as nice as possible. Okay?" Flurry gave a little nod as she snuggled into the bedsheets as her mother tucked her in. "Momma," Flurry said as her mother turned to leave. "Yes dear?" "They were happy… to be alive again. I liked seeing them happy." Flurry said quietly. Cadance gave a small sad smile, "I’d like to see them happy too." > 2 - Kings and Clones > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I glared angrily up at the restaurant owner, who looked down at me with a sheepish and rather unsure smile. I turned around to meet my new assailants. A pair of crystal guards stood in the doorway. They weren’t brandishing their weapons or threatening me, which was sort of killing the fantasy for me. I sighed inwardly. Then I put on a large smile and laughed a bit, walking over and putting one of my hooves on the guard's leg. Unfortunately, I recognized the scarred eye of the one I was resting against: "Fellas! How’ve you been, boys? Sorry about that glue trap last week, by the way. I was targeting that other guard; what’s his name again? Ah, it escapes me." The two guards looked at each other without so much as an expression of anger before looking back down at me. I patted the guard's armor and tried the classic pretend you belong move by walking out the door. But my hopes were dashed as one of them stuck their hoof out to block me. "By order of the royal guard and Princess Cadance, our orders are to take you in for safety immediately." I jumped back a bit and glared angrily again. These two weren’t the dumbest; I’d have to escape somehow. I looked all around the shop, looking for somewhere to escape, but there wasn’t anything that could possibly save me from this situation. So I cleared my throat and looked at them slyly, "What if I said that I’m actually already out that door, and this is only an illusion?" Both guards' faces stayed firmly unimpressed as one of their horns glowed, and I was picked up in their aura with no further recompense. "H-Hey! Let me go!" I tried to punch and kick wildly, but it had no effect, sadly. Alas, all I could do was float around like an astronaut in zero gravity. If I wasn’t in such a pickle, I might’ve found it fun. I oriented myself to glare at the shopkeeper, who ratted me out as I was being dragged away. I shook my hoof angrily. "I’ll get you! You hear me? You better hope I never get out of jail! I’ll strike when you least expect it! You’ll regret ever-" The other guard blocked my view with a raised brow. I sheepishly laughed and waved my hoof and made an excuse, "Respectfully, of course." The scarred guard who was levitating me shot the shopkeeper a look of appreciation and nodded. "Thank you." I crossed my hooves and glared at the looming view of the castle I was being dragged towards. I never was great at talking to people in a formal manner, and now I’d be interrogated or possibly worse. Just great. Well, I wasn’t handcuffed. But being levitated in a magic field by a guard while sitting in front of the ruler of the kingdom and her husband was still intimidating. Contrary to what I expected, when they brought me in, they didn’t seem angry. Not immediately anyway. She introduced herself as Princess Cadance, and her look of sadness was apparent on her face as she descended from her grand crystal throne. "I’ve come to understand that your name is Kieran. Is that correct?" she asked gently. I crossed my hooves and looked away. I didn’t know the law here, but I was going to use my rights to remain silent at every opportunity. Shining Armor gave the two guards on either side of me a stern look, "Leave us, thank you." The one holding onto me huffed, "Are you sure? This filly is-" "Leave us." Cadence cut him off sharply. The guard bowed quickly and said, "Of course. My apologies." I was carefully placed on the ground as the two guards exited the room. The silence as their clattering armor drifted farther away made my heartbeat quicken. Were they sending them away so that they could do something to me? Surely not. And it was now just sinking in how tiny I was in this world. The throne room was massive, and I was merely a small child to them. And I could be picked up, tossed, and played with like a ragdoll if any unicorn desired. Of which, one of the strongest magic users was walking closer by the second. She took her steps wearily, "The guards told me you were begging for scraps in a restaurant. And then you threatened the owner." I glared up at her with a short growl, and Cadance stopped her movement abruptly. But she wasn’t speaking with malice, more out of worry. "I can’t imagine how it feels to die and become a new species entirely. And the guards must’ve scared you terribly. I apologize." I huffed a quick laugh, "Them, scare me? They all collectively have a singular brain cell. I’m not scared." I said this while tightening my crossed hooves. Cadence lowered her head slightly, "You know, it’s okay to be scared. Even adults get scared every once in a while." I scoffed, "I’m not a kid. I’m not stupid." I said defiantly. Cadance’s eyes widened. "Really? How old are you?" she asked in genuine curiosity. I held my head high and puffed my chest out pathetically, "Well, I was sixteen years old. I could practically live on my own already." I said with a smirk. Cadance seemed to breathe a sigh of sadness, and she looked at me with a smile, "Yes, you are very smart for your age." "What do you mean by that?" I asked defensively. I suddenly had a really volatile question come to mind, which would answer my questions easily. "How old is Flurry?" I asked cautiously. Cadance hummed, "She’s only fifteen; you’re not so different." I felt my brain slowly connecting the dots. And a feeling of dread rose up in my chest: "She did not act like a fifteen-year-old, though." Shining Armor seemed to take a bit of offense to that. But he didn’t deflect with anger; he remained rather respectful. "She acts perfectly for her age; in fact, she’s quite smart for still being so young." "When does somebody become an adult in your society?" I asked as I grasped my forehead with one hoof. Cadance thought for a moment, "I’d consider a pony to be entering adulthood at say… thirty-five? Sometimes forty." Well, that’s unfortunate. My one trump card was citing my real age in case I was captured. But it turns out that my real age is still very young in their society. That’s just the problem with alien worlds, isn’t it? Cadance shook her head and said, "Regardless…" She began with a sigh, "We’d really love to help you." "Great! Then buy me a train ticket." I said with a small amount of hope, as my head was spinning. "Preferably somewhere warm." Cadence grimaced. "It is quite cold outside, isn’t it? Have you been doing alright?" I wanted to leave this conversation so badly, but I really had no way of doing so. Silence reigned long enough that Cadance continued, "You haven’t had any trouble with your magic, getting food, or finding a warm place to sleep?" The way she said it made it immediately apparent that she was challenging me. She wanted me to confess that I was miserable and that I needed her help. And then whenever I owed her, she’d make my life a living nightmare. I wasn’t falling for that again. "And if I said yes, what would you say?" I challenged her idea right back. Cadance stopped in surprise for a moment and continued. Seemingly, she wanted to move on from the topic, "I feel responsible for you. Since my daughter is the one that brought you here. You’re more than welcome to stay here in the castle and-" "No can do." I interrupted. "I don’t really want to get caught up in all of this world’s royal affairs, and I actually quite like living on the streets. Boxes are actually quite comfortable." Shining Armor raised his brow at me, "You’re living in a box?" He asked with alarm. "Please," Cadance practically pleaded as she took a few steps forward. "I’d feel so awful if something happened to you, dear. And I know it’s very sudden and scary, but… I really wouldn't mind so much having another filly to look after." She actually seemed excited by the idea for a moment. "You can think of this as a new start! And I finally get a new foal to fawn over." She must’ve noticed my exceedingly darker expression, as she quickly tried to lighten the mood as she laughed. "Because, y’know, princess of love and everything. But I don’t have nearly enough people to show it to-" "No," I said firmly. Cadence sighed sadly. "You don’t still think we assume you to be a changeling trying to harm us, do you?" I shook my head, "I don’t. And I still refuse to stay." Shining chimed in, "I’ll respect your decision, Kieran. As long as you can provide a worthwhile explanation as to why." Who did this stallion think he was? I could tell by the expression on his face that he was stubborn. The longer I waited to reply, the worse my argument would sound. I started slowly, but I don't think I sounded very convincing in my reply. "I’m sorry… I just… don’t need anybody’s help. I’m used to being on my own." I said with an affirmative nod. Wait, that last bit was probably going to make them even less likely to release me. Cadence was closer than I expected. "Kieran, honey…" She waited a few moments, and my eyes slowly drifted over her. "You don’t have to be alone. Okay?" She smiled warmly and said, "If you want space, that’s fine. But please let us help. Please stay with us." I suddenly noticed just how close she’d gotten; she was nearly within touching distance as she leaned down and watched me carefully. "I can teach you everything about the world; you won’t have to live out in that cold any longer. You’ll get warm meals and have two parents to look after you." What was she saying? Was this princess actually being serious? She practically just offered to adopt me on the spot. I tried to quell the growing heat in my chest as my breathing speed increased. It wasn’t quite a panic attack; I just didn’t know how to handle emotions like these very well. Suddenly, the mare touched my head, brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes. "You don’t have to suffer alone, honey." My mind finally caught up to what was transpiring, "Please, stop lying to me." I said as I recoiled away from her. I turned my head, "You want something I don’t have." Cadence looked at me with pure despair, "The only thing I want is to see you happy. After everything you’ve gone through." "Stop lying!" I yelled loudly, which echoed through the entire throne room. "Nobody ever just… does things out of the kindness of their heart. Everybody wants something when they do something good for others!" "That’s not true!" Cadence started. "But it is! Even the nicest person in the world would feel disappointed if their kindness wasn’t reciprocated in some fashion over time. They know someone will write about them, word will spread that they are nice, and then others will flock to give them praise." Cadence recoiled as her ears folded against her head, and tears welled up in her eyes. "But… I just-" "They’re all liars! They want recognition, money, or to simply make themselves feel better before they go to sleep at night. It’s all fake, every little bit of it. Love and kindness are fake concepts, built on a bundle of lies and deception that people like to tell each other." I breathed deeply as I paused. "So, I’m sorry, princess; I politely decline your generous offer." I said with a short sneer. With my final words said, I lit my horn with a buildup of energy. I hadn’t quite figured anything out about how this stupid horn or magic powers worked. But I did know that whenever I prodded at the new appendage on my head, it would eventually grow until the buildup was too much. "Kieran, wait!" Cadance said with a hint of desperation. Almost instantly after lighting my horn, a loud explosion happened. And left in my wake was a large cloud of smoke. It wasn’t actually an explosion, I had just found out that the only thing my dumb horn was useful for was throwing out the smoke bomb to end all smoke bombs. It was useful in my regular escapes from guards and such, and I was very thankful that the princess seemed none the wiser until it was too late. I used that small moment of surprise and the time that she’d be reeling and coughing from my sudden disappearance to turn around and bolt. I ran as fast as I could towards the door as Shining Armor shouted, "Kieran, stop!" The guards, I'll give them credit, began to block the door. But I was already charging another explosion in my horn, which went off right as I got within view. They all coughed wildly as they bumped into each other and searched through the smoke wildly. One guard actually managed to get his magic on me—the same one who’d brought me here. "Oh no, you’re not running off again!" I felt a hint of fear, but luckily for me, one of the guards who was slightly panicking bumped into him, making him lose concentration for a second. I was dropped from his grasp and quickly charged one more smoke bomb, and after it went off, I spat at the guard rather childishly. "Better luck next time," I said cheerily. More guards began to block the main exit. I panicked and looked at the window to my right, and without a second thought, I launched myself through it. Now, I must’ve forgotten that I lacked any knowledge on how to use my wings. And alas, the drop from the castle isn’t a small one. I screamed a bit as the ground rushed at me, but thankfully I landed in a bush. Which, in this odd universe, seemed to translate to a perfectly soft, cushiony landing. I was dazed, but that was about it. I stared smugly up at the castle, which had confused guards yelling and coughing. I held in a giggle at the sound of them crashing into each other. I heard a loud gasp of horror from the castle as Cadance seemed to enter the hallway where I’d just been. "Kieran, sweetie, where are you!?" She called around worriedly. Thankfully, the window was too small for Cadance to fly out of if she caught on. I quickly got to my hooves; even through the dizziness, my horn stopped glowing, and I bolted back into town. Cadance called to me worriedly from the castle, "Please don’t run!" I got back to my alley after hiding out in different places for long periods of time. Pickles was already waiting for me. I hid in my box as Pickles followed me in and allowed me to pet him to calm myself. I don’t know why I let what she said get to me so hard. I even felt a few tears prick at my eyes, but I held them in. I was desperately hoping to stay away from the royal family. What did Cadance have to gain from being that nice? Surely it was all an act, and once she had me in her grasp, she’d banish me back into the cosmos from which I came. Brainwash me to be a perfect princess, or any number of awful things. I heard the sound of many guards running past my hiding spot, which never failed me. To be fair to them, though, this alley’s entrance was practically inaccessible unless you were foal-sized. And even harder to spot from above. I smiled slightly with a sigh of relief and said, "I just have to be more careful, Pickles. Why don’t you go beg for me? You’re adorable." I sat in silence as I thought of my yelling at Cadance. I'd definitely provided a little bit too much information there. But I'd felt so heated and couldn't keep it from coming out. After all, I'd had two weeks of brooding over the cause of my death. I had to admit, it felt a little bit better to have yelled my thoughts out. Rather than silently cursing myself for being naive and childish in my previous life. I wouldn't make that mistake again. Pickles gave me a satisfied meow as he laid against my side and began to purr. The sensation slowly lulled me to sleep that night. But I did stay awake for a little bit longer; the night sky was beautiful that night. The only way I could ever escape from the more and more brutal nights was in my dreams. Where I’d often dream of normal, nonsensical things. My dreams were more volatile than I assumed almost anyone else's to be. One moment I’d be a human again, then the next I’d be in my new filly body. Yet oddly, both felt natural. Probably due to the time I’ve already spent in my new body. Surviving on the streets as a new species forces you to learn quickly. Which brought only more questions, none of which I was willing to entertain the thoughts of right now. Male, female—what even am I anymore? I couldn't be asked to think about it. "You're awfully quiet tonight; might something have happened?" I sighed loudly and kept my hoof firmly planted against my chin. "Hello, demon." "Must you always refer to me in that way? My name is Luna, Princess Luna." "Hello, Princess Demon." I replied sharply, much to her annoyance as she sighed loudly. I looked over at the dark blue pony with a mane of stars. A white moon with a black splotch plastered on her flank. A dark crown befitting a princess of the night. She held herself in high regard, and there was always something so ethereal about her appearance. She was certainly a breathtaking sight to behold. If she wasn’t always so nosey. I rolled my eyes leisurely. "Must you always show up whenever I want some peace?" Luna circled me as I sat on my old human bed, which nonsensically floated around my old room without a care. "Yes, I shall. Especially after your most recent escapade." I snorted through my nose thoroughly, "What, do you have the pink witch on speed dial? What’s your deal?" Luna huffed and raised a brow at my words. I learned quickly that I could just talk like any regular human, and she’d get confused after only a few sentences. You know, just throw in some human abbreviations, adages, and proverbs, and it’d make her head start spinning. I wasn’t lying or anything; she just didn’t understand my words. Acting like I didn’t know how to speak more ‘pony-like’ was my only advantage with someone who could invade my dreams. "She is not a "witch," as you say. And if by "speed dial," you are referring to our timely communication, then yes, I may very well have her on speed dial." She said with confidence. I actually let out a small laugh at that. She may not understand everything I say, but I’d be wrong to say she hadn’t gotten used to my words enough to decipher them occasionally. She smiled at me before sitting down by my side. "You know what I’m here for. I humbly request, in my niece’s place, that you return to safety at her castle." Normally, I’d stay silent and ignore her and any attempt she made to coerce me into forfeiting my mind and existence as I knew it. But something about tonight made me actually entertain the idea of talking with her. "I bet she’s oh so worried!" I said mockingly with a scoff. "She is," Luna said with a most serious stare. "Why, I could see tear stains on the scroll she sent me before the night. She cares most desperately for your safety, Kieran. She was begging for me to make sure you hadn’t injured yourself from thy fall from her castle window." "You're her aunt, right?" I asked suddenly, with a raised brow. She nodded, and I quickly continued. "Good, then I assume she trusts your word well." "Where are you taking this?" She asked as she put a hoof to her head exasperatedly. I smirked, "Talk her down. Tell her I’m safe by myself and that I can take care of myself. You know." "And why in Tartarus would I do that?" Luna said with a wide-eyed expression. I stood from my spot and paced on the bed. "Because I've been in good spirits, you’ve practically interrogated me every night. Do I seem to be living an oh-so-terrible life, in your honest opinion?" She paused for a few moments, "You do have considerable resolve. For a child." "I’m not a child," I reminded her with a huff. She scoffed right back with a raised brow, saying, "You could be hundreds of years old, and you’d still be a child in my eyes. What is it you always say to me again?" Her eyes lit up. "Oh yes. Suck it up, Buttercup. Am I saying that correctly?" Once again, she made me smile as I held in a laugh. "Then you’ll help get her off my back?" Luna returned her grimace and avoided eye contact with me. "I can’t do that, Kieran." My mood fell as I flopped back down against the bed. She continued with a soft voice. "I agree with Cadance wholeheartedly. You aren’t just some pony to be left by the wayside—not that any deserve to be—not only are you a lost soul given new life, but an alicorn. If anything, you need a mentor. Being an alicorn is no easy feat." "You teach me magic, then." I told her sourly. "Then I’ll easily be able to take care of myself." She shook her head, "Neigh, we do not have nearly enough time in this realm. You could simply stop being stubborn and accept help for once to fix that issue." "Fat chance, demon of darkness." I said half-jokingly. Without a chance to react, Luna laid down beside me and nuzzled my face. I quickly recoiled and looked at her in surprise as she looked at me solemnly and said, "I shall make you open up to others’ love. If it takes a hundred—neigh—a thousand nights." I scoffed half-heartedly, "From random ponies I don’t know? Then you’ll be waiting two thousand nights, probably more." She smiled warmly, "I’d still be there, whenever that time comes." Right, immortal, ruler of the night... I had no doubt in my mind that she meant those words. Which was exhausting, yet admirable. The weirdest part of these dreams was how fast they seemed to progress. It never felt like I was talking for more than five minutes before I’d return to the waking world. I should really ask Luna how that works, especially if she visits many dreams a night, as she has alluded to doing. Not much longer after that, I woke up. With my eyelids nearly frozen to my face and a chill in my spine. I breathed out deeply, seeing my breath heating the air around me. And no Pickles, who had mysteriously disappeared wherever he went in the middle of the night. Flurry Heart sat on her balcony with a blanket firmly wrapped around herself as she stared up at the night sky. And the colors of an aurora danced in the sky above the Crystal Empire. Down below were hundreds of homes, with smoke billowing from chimneys and lights on inside as everyone was in a cheery mood. The Hearth’s Warming Eve decorations amongst the city were her favorite things to look at as the holiday grew closer. But tonight, the sky happened to be more beautiful. "You know, I have everything I’ve ever wanted. But… it feels really bad." She waited for a moment, then sighed. "Because… the one thing I’ve always wanted is real, but I can’t…" "It’s stupid, I know." Flurry said with a small laugh, looking down at her hooves for a few moments. "It just hurts." The longer the silence lasted, the more Flurry felt tears build up in her eyes. "I just don’t get it. We’re both so lonely; why can’t we just fix each other’s sadness?" Flurry released a loud sigh and looked up into the sky again. "If it did work out, I’d be the happiest filly. I just want to talk to them more than anything." Flurry giggled into her hooves, "I know. It’s silly. But it’s the truth." Her eyes lit up as another wave of color washed across the sky. She hadn’t even noticed when another had entered. And only realized it when another wing wrapped around her and she looked up to see her mother. She had a look of sadness, but Flurry was happy to see that there was still hope in her eyes. In fact, she hadn’t seen a more determined look on her mother’s face in a very long time. Not a word was spoken between them as she returned her attention toward the heavens. After all, the night sky was beautiful that night. > 3 - How It Feels to Be Lost > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Flurry Heart walked through the castle halls with her head low and an aching feeling of sadness in her heart. She had been so excited when her mother first found Kieran a week ago, but those hopes were immediately dashed when she heard that they had escaped again. She came upon the living room of the palace, stopping at the cracked doorway as she heard her mother arguing with her father on the other side of the door. "Shining, I’m not just going to sit here in the warmth while Kieran is out in that storm… If we can’t find Kieran tonight, they’ll die of the cold!" "Honey, calm down. We won’t let that happen, I promise." Shining said reassuringly. Cadance whimpered, "I scared them off; now they refuse to show their face; nobody has reported seeing him for days. It’s so cold out there tonight; how am I supposed to rest? What if it’s already too late?" "Stop," Shining sighed, "you can’t think like that. Maybe the snowstorm will coax him out of hiding?" Flurry pushed through the door with tears in her eyes as both her parents looked her way. "Kieran is going to die?" Cadance looked at her daughter in horror and said, "N-No, of course not, dear! We would never let that happen!" Flurry Heart’s tears streamed down her cheeks quickly as she turned around and ran. Cadance and Shining quickly followed, even as the filly closed her door sharply and locked it. Cadance knocked on the door as she began to cry as well. "I’m sorry, honey! I wasn’t trying to scare you; Kieran will be just fine! Momma was just overreacting!" "You’re lying!" Flurry retorted from the other side of the door as she wailed, "Kieran is going to die, and it’s going to be all my fault, momma!" Cadance lowered her head in sadness as she felt helpless about what to do. Shining knocked on the door, "Sweetheart, I’m going out into that storm, and I won’t come back without Kieran. I promise." Cadance looked up in surprise as the door unlocked and opened a little bit. "Y-You will?" Flurry asked. "Yep, promise." Shining said before crossing his heart. "I’m going too." Cadance said. Shining wanted to dispute her words, but taking one look into her eyes, he knew there was zero point. And he gave a silent nod. "Will you tell them I’m sorry?" Flurry asked shakily. Cadance leaned down and nuzzled her softly, saying, "You’ll be able to say anything you want to them yourself. I promise." Flurry gave a half-hearted smile and leaned forward to kiss her mother on the cheek, "Please be safe." They both nodded and turned to leave as a guard approached them; he bowed swiftly and cleared his throat. "Princess Cadance, we’ve got a lead as to where the filly is." Cadance's eyes widened, and she invaded his personal space with a desperate face of hope. "You do? Where are they?" It was cold… So cold… The wind howled, and the snow was certainly falling. I tried as hard as I could to curl up and use my cloaks for warmth. Unfortunately for me, they were all thin fabrics, which didn’t help much. I shifted and turned more and more, just hoping that in some position I’d find enough warmth to fill my tiny body. But as the storm raged on, my body only felt colder by the second, and I began shivering. My teeth chattered loudly, and my hooves would grow numb if I didn’t move them. I heard shouting among the streets outside my alleyway. They weren’t close enough to fear that my spot would be found, but the streets were certainly full of guards. I heard some of their orders: "Find her!" "Check every little spot!" "We might not have much time!" I sighed annoyedly; if I had to leave my spot, it would all be over. The growing numbness in my body made me concerned, however. It was becoming increasingly clear that I couldn’t stay this way, or I’d freeze to death. I peered outside for just a moment; the blizzard was raging, and it was intensifying for the second time. I reached my shivering hoof out of the box to test the wind and immediately pulled it back in. It was unreasonably cold. I felt my mind becoming groggy; it obviously wanted me to sleep to conserve energy. But every survival documentary will tell you the opposite. But sleep sounded so good… Maybe if I just closed my eyes for a minute… "No!" I barked to myself suddenly as I shook my head. Instead, I willed myself to move, and boy, was it hard. It felt like I was trying to move my limbs while they had thirty-pound weights attached. I groaned as I stood, grabbing my three cloaks and putting all three of them on. It still wouldn’t be enough. I had vastly underestimated how bad it would get. I took my first step outside of the box, and instantly my spine chilled. However, I willed myself to move. I hadn’t known true coldness until after I stepped out of the alley and the wind hit me at full force. I’d rather spend my free time swimming in an ice lake. ‘Where do I go?’ I thought wearily. I could try a public library, maybe? Or maybe I could just sneak into any old building? Surely somebody had to have left the door unlocked somewhere. I pressed forward through the snow, which was so thick and blinding that I could barely see three steps ahead of me. The only thing indicating I was still following a path were the street lamps lining the path. I felt myself growing weaker by the second; my small body was screaming at me. Sleep, sleep, find warmth; you’re also hungry now… Man, I hate having physical needs. If I were proficient enough as an alicorn, I would probably be able to cast some spells to help myself. But not only was I practically worthless at magic; my mind was already groggy. So when they find my frozen body on the sidewalk the next morning, I’ll be forever known as the dumb alicorn who somehow froze to death. That had to be some sort of achievement. The snow had become so thick. If there were still guards out here searching for me, they’d have zero luck. It also helped that my outermost cloak was white. I felt like I was walking through an icy wasteland; the only thing indicating I was still in a city was the very faint glow of distant lamp posts. It wasn’t working. I was cold and tired, and I wanted to stop right now. Maybe I could just bury myself in a snow drift. One of my front legs gave out on me. I was so numb I couldn’t even tell which one. Was I going to die? Again? ‘I don’t…’ A knot formed in my throat as I thought about that. ‘I don’t want to die again…’ I looked upward into the blinding blizzard, my eyes being pelted mercilessly with snowflake after snowflake. I thought I could see a larger building, one with many lights on. I willed myself to move towards it with more ambition. If I was going to die, it wouldn’t be due to the cold. By a pure stroke of luck, I ended up passing by the outside of a cafe that still had its lights on. It was risky, but it was my best bet. I stumbled over to the doorway, carefully stood up, and reached for the handle. Struggling just to stand. I eventually grasped it, only to realize it was locked. For a moment, I considered ramming through the glass. If I even had enough strength left to do so. But just as I was about to, an older mare was walking out of one of the back rooms. She happened to look my way, and she gasped and rushed over. Unlocking the door and practically pulling me in, the nice green unicorn pony mare with a dark brown mane brushed the snow off me. "Oh dear! What were you doing out in that storm, darling?" The feeling of warmth that washed through me was nice, but it didn’t immediately make me feel better; I was still frozen to the bone. She sounded older than most mares, but I couldn’t make a comprehensive sentence as I continued to shiver. Her eyes widened as she grabbed my hoof and guided me somewhere. Where? I don’t know; my body felt checked out already. She sat me next to a large fireplace that was at the back of the cozy little cafe. She leaned down and pulled my hood off. She stared at me for a few moments in complete shock, then seemed to move on. "I’ll get you a warm drink, dear. You just warm up right here, okay?" I didn’t even nod; I just let my front hooves collapse under me as I lay in front of the fire. Rushed hoofsteps left me to myself. My eyes defocused on everything as I stared forward at the fire, watching the fire dance in amongst the wood and bricks. I felt so sleepy, so sleepy. After an indeterminable amount of time, I heard her again. "Here you are, darling. Please, drink." She told me as she helped me sit up. She hovered a cup of hot chocolate in front of me, and my weary and tired brain reached out and grabbed it like a zombie. I took a couple of careful sips; I could practically track the drink as it went through my body. That’s how cold I’d been. The mare next to me seemed pleased by my ability to drink it by myself. And she laid down on the soft carpet right next to me. "I hear a lot of stories about you, dearie." For the first time, my brain registered words, and I half-heartedly glanced at her. "Oh, do you?" I said with a hoarse voice. She smirked, "Mostly warnings, and others telling me not to cross your path, or else you’ll wreak havoc with minor inconveniences." I let a half-smirk spread on my face. "Well, am I living up to the legends?" She hummed, "Oh, you know. I didn’t plan on going home early tonight or anything." She joked sarcastically. The old mare had a sense of humor, and I could respect that. I felt my head dip even as I took another sip of the drink. She sighed worriedly. "You know Princess Cadance and the entire guard have been searching for you restlessly." I slowly nodded with a bit of apprehension, "I know." The old mare sighed and put on a gentle voice. "I understand that you may be scared or weary, but I assure you, Cadance wishes for nothing but your absolute safety." The mare reassured me. I sighed after taking another sip. "But you don’t really know her, do you?" "Afraid not," the mare returned with a gentle laugh. "But it’s very easy to see when someone is worried for a child so desperately. It’s called maternal instinct." I scoffed as I rested my head on the ground, saying, "I don’t know what they’ve been telling you ponies. But I’m not their daughter, regardless of the similarities." The mare just laughed again, "Oh, so young." My ears folded as I felt like I was being made fun of, but the mare just continued onward. "You don’t have to be her daughter for somepony to feel that motherly worry for you." "That makes no sense," I muttered with a yawn. The mare nodded, and I felt her pull a fluffy blanket over me. I tried to fight it, but regardless, I began slowly drifting off to sleep after finishing half of the cup. "I’ll be just a minute." She whispered. I heard hoofsteps leaving in the opposite direction. I lucked out. It would be in my best interest not to get caught in another snowstorm like that. I’d let myself rest for a little while and leave once the snow starts dying down. I wouldn’t have to worry about the mare asking questions. Curiously, I began to hear ponies talking, and as far as I knew, there weren’t any other ponies here. I slowly yet cautiously lifted my tired head and looked towards the far entrance to the cafe. There the mare was, speaking to two crystal guards and continuously pointing in my direction with worry. Of course, I should’ve known she’d rat me out the moment I arrived. The worst part was that I caught a glimpse of that Shining Armor pony out the door. Well, that was it for my warmth session. I stood hastily, my limbs aching angrily in protest, and snuck as quietly as possible towards the other door that I’d been pulled in from. But Shiny seemed to have the eyes of a hawk, as his eyes widened and he called out to me. "Kieran, don’t run! Please!" With my tail between my legs, I panicked and jumped up, catching the door handle on my way down. When I pulled it, the door swung open violently with the storm outside, knocking me to the floor. I scrambled to my legs as the guards approached and shot back out into the snow with renewed panicked vigor. I ran, running as fast as I could for my alleyway. For my box. Unfortunately, the snowstorm had cleared a bit, so I was much more visible than before. I heard a guard's armor clamoring behind me, and I knew they were catching up. My legs were stiff and still cold; I had no chance. Any second now, they’d give out. I tried to shoot into my alleyway as discreetly as possible, but I instantly regretted that decision when I saw what assaulted my alleyway. And I skidded to a grinding halt at the sight. In the alleyway were two guards, one of whom was the one who found me in my box the first time. And none other than Princess Cadance herself, wearing a heavy fur cloak. She was picking apart my box house with a stream of tears coming out of her eyes. As she went through the few things I’d collected. The shouting of guards behind me brought their attention to me as Shining barely forced himself through the hole, destroying half the fence in the process. Cadance gasped loudly when she noticed me, and she stood to her hooves. "Kieran… Sweetheart." I turned to see that the guards and Shining Armor had caught up and were blocking my exit. I slowly lowered my head in defeat, unintentionally tucking my tail between my legs. I simply walked over to the pink princess in a bit of a huff; she looked at me expectantly as I pulled my box out of her hooves with force. Cadance took a surprised step back as I corrected it back into its place against the wall. "Thanks for coming; sadly, I am not accepting visitors tonight." I said sourly. Cadance reached her hoof towards me, "Kieran, honey, you don’t have to live like this. You know that, right?" I shied away from her as I averted my gaze. "It's fine; I like it here. Didn't I tell you already?" I said this as I crossed my forelegs. More to keep warmth in than anything else. Cadance’s look of heartbreak was ruining me. "You’re shivering like a leaf. I’m not going to let you sit out here." She said firmly. "If you want to help, then leave that fur coat for me; it’d be greatly appreciated." I expressed a small amount of hope. Cadance leaned downward, "Or, you can come with us and feel safe and warm. Does that really sound so bad?" I rubbed my hooves across my forelegs to try and warm up as my entire body shivered. My teeth chattered, "I-It’s okay. I d-don’t need… anybody." "Yes, you do." Shining spoke sadly as he took a few steps forward. "I don’t want a-anybody then." I said as I gritted my teeth. Shining sat down a few feet away, "And I don’t want to let a foal die knowing I could help. You see our conflict here?" I glared at him, but had nothing to say that would convince the commander of what was potentially the dumbest army ever. Someone had to have taught them, after all. Cadance laid down on the ground in front of me and tried her hardest to look me in the eyes. "Kieran, we aren’t going to hurt you. And we certainly aren’t going to leave you out here." I scoffed as I looked up at her and said, "Kieran is dead." I started slowly: "I’m dead, get it? I’m nobody anymore." I watched the desperate emotions of sadness on Cadance’s face; she opened her mouth, and I quickly continued. "And I’m certainly not Flurry Heart. So I’m sorry to be a disappointment, but you can just leave me alone already." She adopted a determined expression, and she actually looked at me with a small amount of anger. "You’re not Flurry; she’s far less stubborn. If you don’t want to be Kieran any more, that’s fine too! But sitting out here in a winter storm awaiting your inevitable death lets me know that you’re certainly still just as childish as our daughter." That felt hurtful, I had to admit. Shining widened his eyes at her, "Honey-" "No." She cut him off. "If he thinks he is mature enough, then I will treat him like an equal adult in this conversation. Regardless of the fact that I’ve lived his lifespan plenty of times over." She said that last bit with emphasis. And she stopped for another moment and released a deep sigh, "Are you trying to die, Kieran? Or whatever you'd like to be called?" I felt myself becoming smaller by the moment as I slowly shook my head. She immediately continued her reprimand: "So then, what’s your plan? How do you expect to live until morning?" I huffed, "I was perfectly warm in the café before you guys showed up." Cadance put a hoof to her head as she explained to me, "That mare still had to go home tonight; she had a family. You would’ve ended up in a hospital or back on the streets if you ran." I felt myself shrink even more as she continued, "And if you go to the hospital and me and Shining don’t show up and refuse to help you, where do you think you’ll go?" I could tell she was expecting an answer, so I answered, letting out precious warmth in the process. "An orphanage, somewhere like that…" "Yep," Cadance continued. "I understand your species probably considered you adults at a much younger age, but the simple fact is that ours ages much slower. And our bodies don’t fully develop until we're thirty five. You can’t change that fact about yourself now. It’s not that our species is just so much dumber than your own that we need more time; we just happen to have much longer lifespans. Thus, we have longer to develop emotionally. And you’re an alicorn! You’re going to live for thousands of years!" My body froze in shock. "Th-Thousands?" Wait, that made sense. Luna was thousands of years old; I hadn’t even made that connection by myself. I felt slightly dizzy afterwards. She nodded softly, "So you are allowed to be a child." Cadance said, "Forcing yourself to grow up too fast is only going to cause heartache and pain. And I know what happens when an alicorn falls into that pit of hopelessness. I don’t want that for you, Kieran." She waited for a few moments, and I regret to admit I gravitated closer to her due to the need for warmth. I absolutely craved to stop shivering. She shielded me with her wings generously and lit her horn. Which seemed to chase away some of the wind. The chill started leaving my body, and I relaxed as I kept myself just barely standing. She continued. "And you know what would happen to an alicorn in an orphanage?" I stayed silent. "Any number of things. I don’t like it, Kieran, but there are bad ponies out there. Do you honestly expect me—forget about my personal worries for a moment—as a ruler of the Crystal Empire, would it make any sense to allow potentially dangerous ponies to acquire an alicorn and force you to do things you would otherwise dislike?" Ah, so that's why she was doing all of this. I was simply a war asset, something to be used and thrown away by royalty. Of course, any royalty would want all of that for themselves. Unfortunately for her, the most I was worth was a smoke bomb every few seconds. Why… Why was she trying so hard to explain to me then? But also, why couldn’t I say anything as a rebuttal? My mind was blanking in the cold. "No…" I squeaked out quietly to her question. Cadance’s expression softened, and so did her voice. "Then you can look at it from the perspective of my own motherly worry. And maybe you can understand… Please… Understand why we want to help you. You can hate me all you want, but I’m not leaving you out here in this storm. Understand? If you absolutely hate us, I'll even entertain finding you a different home." "But why?" I pushed past the knot in my throat as my voice wavered. She held a hoof out and petted the top of my head gently, "Because I want to see you happy. And not because you’re Flurry Heart’s doppelganger. Not because you’re an alicorn and I want to exploit you for my own gain. But because you deserve to be happy, and for no other reason." I just shook my head and retreated away from her hoof, hiding in my box a little farther. "I don’t need anybody; I’ve never needed anybody. Just leave me alone." I said this as I turned my back on her. I knew now that it was over; I had no more words to defend myself. I had nowhere to run; I didn’t want to die, and Cadance had made many great points about me. Maybe I was still naive, thinking I could run forever. Cadance was closer now; her gentle voice told me as much. "It’s okay," she cried. "You can stop running now; it’s over." I huffed angrily as tears started pouring out of my eyes. "What, so you’re going to capture me and get rid of the old me b-because I look like your daughter and try to turn me into some perfect princess? And then… and then…" My breathing quickened so much that I choked up. "Shh…" Cadance wrapped her hooves around my midsection and said, "No, I’m going to love you, feed you, and give you the home you deserve." "But why?" I asked again in complete confusion as I turned to meet her face. She must’ve been waiting, as I was immediately nuzzled, and she wiped the tears from my eyes. "Because you’re lost, scared, and in need of a home." She chimed fondly. "I’m just a copy of your daughter-" I retorted. "But you’re not!" Cadance countered, "You. Are. Yourself." She spoke slowly. She smiled sadly, "You’re Kieran, the stubborn, clever, frozen, lost human. And frankly, with how ruffled your hair is, you look rather different from Flurry." She commented with a small giggle. Shining hummed agreeably as he lay down by her side: "You have very different personalities. Just because you share the same colors doesn’t mean a single thing. Who you are is determined by what you do, not how you look." Cadance leaned forward more. She picked me up and pulled me against her barrel, and her wings wrapped around to further hug me tighter. "Please let us help." She asked me quietly. I shivered more as my limbs felt weak, and my body slowly stopped responding to me. And I buried my face in her chest for warmth. "I don’t need anybody." I protested weakly. I must’ve looked pathetic as I stained her fur with tears. "You can say that all you want; I’m not letting you leave me again." Cadance said sweetly. Cadance nuzzled the back of my head, "I’m getting you out of this cold, whether you like it or not." She stated this sternly as she stood back up with me in her grasp. It wasn’t long after that when my body succumbed to the darkness and cold. And I stopped moving and fully succumbed to sleep. It was almost as if a spell had been placed on me, but I knew it was because my body had finally stopped fighting. From mental exhaustion to physical exhaustion, it was over. Cadance was taking me home. > 4 - I am alone, and they are everyone > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hey, Kieran!" The accompanying voice was met with a knock on my door as my visitor opened it fully. My eyes brightened largely at the sight of my taller older brother. Dressed in half-torn clothes and wearing a red beanie that covered his unkempt, long brown hair. I nearly jumped out of bed, where I was reading a comic book. "Damon!" I shouted excitedly. I ran over and threw my arms around him. He was always much taller than me, and my head only reached his chest. He laughed jovially and ruffled my hair with one hand, "Hey kiddo, happy birthday." I looked up and laughed. "You remembered!" He nodded, "Mhm… and-" "Wait, does that mean!?" I asked with unbridled excitement. My brother nodded once again, "Yep." He said this before revealing the hand he’d been keeping behind his back. He revealed two tickets to the demolition derby they were having in town today. I reached out excitedly, and he pulled them away and held them above my head with a smug grin. "You know, these weren’t easy to come by." I laughed as I jumped to reach for them, and he kept pulling them away. "I know, how’d you do it?" "I have my ways." He bemoaned cryptically as he finally relinquished a ticket to me. "So what do ya say? Are you up to it? It starts in two hours." "Is that even a question?" I said with a raised brow as I ran over to my closet and began to throw on some more suitable clothes. As I was searching around through the mess of drawers for something, my brother walked around my room while looking at everything with an exasperated sigh. "You really need to clean your room, lil bro." I shrugged and said, "I do; it just doesn’t look very clean when I do it anyway. What’s the point?" It was true—the room I was in was a mess. The paint on the walls had long since peeled, and there were many holes in the drywall that encompassed almost the entire wall. The floorboards creaked like crazy, and the less safe parts of the floor were where I threw my items to keep myself from falling through. The only real things in my room were the bed, a desk, and a bunch of other things that mostly related to school. "Still…" My brother sighed, giving me his own shrug afterward. "Have you done anything else for your birthday today?" He asked while changing the subject. I stopped searching through my drawers for a minute as my shoulders sagged. "No, Jane and Eric are out of town this week." I said, referring to our foster parents. My brother gritted his teeth, "Oof, that’s rough…" He said sympathetically, well for him anyway. "But to be expected." He followed up. "What’s that supposed to mean?" I grumbled as I returned to rummaging through my mess of a drawer. He sighed dramatically, "Oh well, when your big bro can just walk through the front door with no locks, it becomes a bit obvious." I hummed dissmisively, "I’m old enough to take care of myself anyway. What's the big deal?" He huffed a short laugh as I finally found my favorite shirt and began throwing it over myself. "That’s all we’ve ever done. Jane and Eric sure didn’t." I knew that my brother had disdain for our foster parents. He made it readily apparent when he cut ties with them when he turned eighteen. A year later, they only begrudgingly allowed him to see me on occasion. But still, they hadn’t abused me in any way and had given me a home when I most needed it. I still felt a large amount of appreciation, even if they felt distant from me at times. "I don’t know about that, Damon. I’d still be scraping around dumpsters and shoplifting without ‘em." I said this while grabbing my phone from the desk. Damon shrugged and moved out of the doorway as he gestured with his hand in a mockingly fancy way. "Ladies first." I punched him lightly as I walked by, "Don’t get any funny ideas about today just because you can’t land a date." I teased him. "Alright! Alright." He said with another short laugh. Exiting our short, run-down house in the middle of the city, we began the rather long walk towards our destination. Evidently, my brother couldn’t afford a car. We lived in the city of St. Louis. Overall, it was a rather fine city. Just make sure you know where you’re going and walk with purpose. Don’t look anybody in the eyes unless you’re looking for a fight or otherwise. It was easy. As we walked the rather dull and emptier parts of the city sidewalks, I couldn’t shake what my brother said from my head. I’d felt upset when they left me money and said they’d be gone for the week. But it wasn’t malicious; my sixteenth birthday wasn’t the most important thing in the world, after all. "Why’d you say that?" I hummed quietly to myself as I watched my feet. "About our parents." My brother sighed and put his arms in his pockets as well. "Calling them parents is a bold term, Kieran." "You haven’t explained why." I countered bitterly. "Because they don’t care." Damon said in a very matter-of-fact way. He sighed loudly. "I mean, they didn’t even stay in town for your birthday." "They must’ve had something important to do, Damon. I don’t get why you always see them as bad people." I muttered. "Well, for starters," Damon began, "I’m not one to judge morality." "You’re a good guy, Damon." I glanced up at him. He eyed me for a moment before averting his gaze, "Alright, you’re sixteen now. I’ll play it to you straight if you want." He waited for an objection that never came as I listened intently. "Listen, Kieran… You know how the foster system works, right?" "Yeah?" I voiced my confusion. He nodded. "Then you should know our foster parents get a specific amount of money every month to take care of us." I nodded my head even though he wasn’t looking at me. He took another sigh as he rubbed his temple annoyedly, "And some foster parents… You know what? I’ll just say it." He grunted. "Jane and Eric literally only took us in for the money." "W-What?" I asked with a growing look of many emotions. He nodded as he looked at me directly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "They don't use all that money to take care of us. They’ve been using it to go on extravagant vacations and treat themselves. That’s why they only ever took in you and me. I was sixteen, and you were fourteen. We were old enough to not die without supervision." "T-That’s not true." I denied with a shake of my head. "Believe it if you want. Might hurt less to pretend otherwise, I guess." My brother grumbled. "But you know, every time they sent us to school with barely any supplies. Every Christmas, when they'd suspiciously buy themselves some extravagant vacation or other thing they wanted while we barely got another shirt when all of our stuff is falling apart?" He paused. "At least you know why now." They'd always just told me that when I got a job, I'd be able to buy myself those things. I did find it kind of odd how they acted when I told them I needed things for school. Did they really only take me in to use the money? That was… no, they couldn’t have. My brother was just overreacting. They were nice people, and they genuinely cared about seeing us make our way in the world. He kicked a rock slightly angrily, "That's why I always tell you not to rely on people. Because at the end of the day you're the only one living your life. Nobody is going to live it for you." After a long bout of silence, my brother elbowed my side and laughed, "Hey, don’t be so down; today’s going to be great." I just nodded and smiled back at him, "Of course!" My brother suddenly got a text message as the ringtone came, and he pulled out his phone. I watched as a few emotions spread across his face, and eventually he smirked and looked down at me. "Mind if we make a detour?" "Sure… but what for?" I asked while trying to get a look at his phone. He held it firmly away from me as he held my head back. "I’ve got to meet up with someone. They’re supposed to be paying me." "What for?" I hummed with raised brows. "For things your tiny child brain couldn’t understand at this time." He teased as we changed directions, and he ran ahead. "Not true!" I yelled back as I ran to catch up. We made our way through a part of the town I’d never been through before. It was thoroughly descending into what most people would consider "unsafe" as the number of shady-looking individuals increased. We kept taking back alley after alley, each one seeming like more and more of a place I shouldn’t be in. My brother walked carefully and would often glance back to make sure I was following. He would also put a hand on my chest every once in a while to stop me. "Uh, Damon…" I asked carefully. "Shush," he commanded me. I stayed quiet after that, choosing to trust my brother. We made a couple more turns in alleyways before we stopped in one. The alley we were in was quite empty but full of garbage, broken fences, and pallets. My brother brought his phone out and began rapidly texting off some words, tapping his foot on the ground incessantly with growing impatience. Or was it anxiety? Because that was surely what I was feeling right now. I was practically clinging to the back of Damon’s hoodie. After a few tense minutes of silence and waiting, somebody walked around the corner up ahead. Black hoodie pulled over his head, sunglasses, and hands in his pocket. He glanced up at us before heading our way. My brother outstretched his arms widely and practically changed into a different person. "Ah, there you are, my friend. I was afraid you’d gotten lost." The man in the hoodie stopped a few feet away and took his glasses off. I was surprised by the large scar that adorned his face across the bridge of his nose. It was his most defining feature. He looked ragged and older than my brother by a large margin. He smirked at my brother and said, "I’ve been around here longer than you, kid." My brother nodded his head, "Of course, of course." Then he clasped his hands together with a serious look. "You said you finally met my payment due, correct?" The man gave a slow nod and took a few steps forward. "Of course I did." When the man was close enough, he reached into his pocket. A look of annoyance crossed his face as he clicked his tongue. "Oh… I think I forgot something." My brother was so caught up in anticipation that he had no time to react to the right hook he took directly to his face. I let go in shock as my brother stumbled to the side and fell into a stack of pallets. "Damon!" I shouted. The older man glared at me sharply, "Shut up, kid." He took steps towards my brother, who was only barely recovering off the ground. The man grabbed him by the front of his hoodie and pulled him up to his face. "Ah, you think you can just raise prices on me and expect immediate payment?" He spit in Damon’s face. My brother grabbed his shirt back, "You don’t want to do this." Damon spat with a look of intense anger. "Oh, and why not?" The man asked mockingly. My brother reached into his pocket and quickly flipped open some sort of knife. The man dropped him quickly back onto the pallet. And took a few steps back. "Damon, don’t!" I yelled as I began rushing towards him. I felt myself choke as the back of my shirt was grabbed, and the mysterious man quickly pulled me over to himself and locked his arm around my head. I struggled desperately to remove it while kicking. Damon stood up and grunted, "Let him go." He yelled as he rushed forward with his knife. I heard a clicking sound, and my brother’s face fell as he stopped in his tracks. His entire face went white. I felt the cold sensation of something metal being held to the side of my head. "One. More. Step." The hooded man said. Damon stuttered as he stood frozen in his place: "H-Hey man, I’ll drop the charge for the month." Damon chuckled nervously. "It’s a good joke, man; hey, let’s negotiate." I heard the sound of it clicking again as it was pressed harder against my head. I was frozen in fear and didn't know what to do. "Just the month?" He asked. My brother slowly shook his head, "Hey, how about I give you a… permanent discount? Let’s say… twenty percent less?" The man slowly began taking the weapon from my head, "Make it thirty." Damon held his hands up, "Thirty! Thirty is great!" The man lowered his gun, and my brother took a few careful steps forward. "And forget about the payment today; we’ll call it off this month. Sound good?" The man holding me nodded as he released a breath himself. The moment the man’s gun lowered, my brother's face contorted in anger. And he rushed him, knife held up. A bunch of things happened at once: the man slowly aimed his gun upward, and my brother realized the mistake he was making. I also made the worst decision of my life. I elbowed the man behind me and pushed his arm that was holding the gun away from my brother just as he went to pull the trigger. And somehow, in this mess of confusion, a resounding bang was uttered. Both of them stopped, and I felt a rather warm sensation rise up from my chest. Looking down, all I could see was red, spreading quickly. I fell to the ground and began coughing, which was red as well. Red started splattering the ground below me as my head started ringing and my body went numb. In the aftermath of this, the man still had his gun and was now holding it upward, firmly pointed at my brother, while making his retreat. My brother had dropped his knife and was now slowly backing away, looking down at me with conflicting emotions. My vision was blurry and growing worse by the second. I reached my hand out from the ground. "Damon… Help." I gasped loudly. Damon released an uncharacteristic yelp as he continued to take steps back. I felt tears welling up in my eyes as my body grew colder. I didn’t want to die. "Damon!.." I shouted one last time with the last ounce of my strength. The scarred man in the alley was completely gone at this point. And I could hear sirens blaring from somewhere nearby. I watched with horror as my brother shook his head and gave me one last glance before adorning his own hood and turning his back on me. Hands in pockets. "Damon?" I said as tears started pouring from my eyes, "Brother?" Jane had never cared. Neither had Eric. And Damon?.. I watched as the form of my brother disappeared around another alleyway corner, and my final heaving breaths were uttered into this life, completely and utterly alone. Damon never cared… … … Cadance was desperately holding onto the small alicorn filly in her forelegs while laying on a large pillow. Sitting next to the fire, with a thick, warm blanket wrapped around her. The nurse, a purple mare with white hair and pink streaks, was checking every inch of the filly with care. After checking her last hoof, the nurse stepped back and said, "She’s definitely going to need to be on bed rest for a few days. Thankfully, hypothermia didn’t cause any permanent damage." Cadance and Shining Armor, who was sitting right next to her, sighed in relief. The nurse continued, "However, she’s malnourished. And her temperature is higher than it should be; she likely has a fever." Cadance nodded eagerly. "Of course, Moon Petal, I’ll make sure they eat three times a day and get plenty of sleep." Moon bowed her head before swiftly exiting the room. Cadance pulled the filly tighter and nuzzled her carefully. Flurry got up from her spot and walked over to look down at the filly. "Momma, isn't Kieran just going to run away again?" Cadance shook her head, "I’ve placed a tracking spell this time. Unless they know how to dispel my magic, they won’t be hiding any time soon." Flurry seemed happy for a moment, but her face slowly fell into a small frown. "But… Kieran doesn’t want to stay here, momma." Cadance sighed and shifted Kieran in her forelegs. "Kieran thinks I’m going to get rid of them or otherwise. I’m sure when they realize I don’t intend to, they’ll be willing to stay." "Speaking of… them. Is there anything we can do about that particular problem? Kieran said that they used to be male, right, Flurry?" Shining Armor asked wearily. Flurry nodded as Cadance released a low hum. "Possibly. But it would far exceed my own magic knowledge." Shining nodded with an understanding huff, "I don’t think he’ll be happy when he wakes up." Cadance hummed as she watched the troubling emotions dance across the young filly’s face. "No, probably not." She agreed with a short sigh. Shining watched as well, then looked towards Flurry with a smirk. "Alright, missy, it’s far past your bedtime." "Okay daddy…" Flurry spoke a bit sadly as she led the way back to her room. Cadance and Shining shared a kiss as Cadance looked down at the filly, who was loudly sleeping and snoring, and released a short giggle. "I’ll be taking this one to bed as well, then." The family exited the large living space and returned to their quarters after an emotionally exhausting night. I felt awful. I had a headache. My body felt weak and hot. My mouth was dry, and I was starving. I could barely even register what had happened. I just remembered the cold and running, and then everything went blank. I slowly forced my eyes to open, and they did so begrudgingly as I looked around me. It was dark, and I actually felt somewhat comfortable. Fear shot through me as I realized somebody was wrapped around me. I struggled to calm my growing panic and not run. My body tensed as my mind raced, and memories flooded back into my brain. ‘Did she actually take me back with her?’ Try as I might, my inability to control my fear worked against me. And I felt the pony wrapped around me slowly stir. I had to get out before she grabbed me and before she woke up. I quickly stood on my hooves and took a few steps back. "Kieran." The voice of Cadance chimed worriedly. The candle next to the bedside flickered on, and then Shining began to stir in the bed next to her. My worst fears were coming to fruition as I helplessly backed away from the large pink witch. Cadance sat up in bed but made no immediate attempts to control me. "Kieran, no, honey, please don’t be scared." She pleaded with me. I tripped over the bedsheets, ending up upside down and unable to escape. Cadance sighed before she hesitantly enveloped me with her magic and brought me into her forelegs. I felt far too weak to even protest the action as chills racked my body. She gingerly nuzzled my face as I stared at her in confusion. "It’s okay," she told me worriedly. "You’re safe now." I wanted to kick and wrestle my way out of her grasp, but my body still felt like it’d been hit by a train. I groaned as I relented to the pain and put a hoof against my head. I sniffed to try and clear my nose, which felt stuffy. Cadance began rocking me. "Shh…" Trying to escape could wait; I’d just die if I managed to get back out onto the street in this condition. I felt tears filling my vision as I whined, "My head." "I know, little one," Cadance cooed. "I can get you more medicine." I tried to block out my vision; everything was too much, and my mind was reeling from it all. At some point, I buried my head in her chest fur; it felt more instinctual than purposeful. "I’m hungry and thirsty." I moaned with a whimper. Cadance nodded as she rocked me still, "Of course, honey." Cadance looked over to Shining, who was already standing up as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. "I’ve got it, dear; hang tight, little one." He told me with a sympathetic smile as he left the room. "Why?" I asked exasperatedly, glancing up at the intensely worried alicorn. "Why are you doing this?" She must’ve known exactly what I meant because she immediately replied. "Because we care about you." I shook my head, which caused more head pain as tears streamed down my face. "I told you to leave me alone. I don’t need your help." Cadance hugged me tighter, "Kieran, you do need our help." She said with a small huff, "And no amount of wishing that fact away will make this any easier for you. But I promise, helping is all we want to do. Nothing more." I looked away with a sigh of defeat and mumbled, "It just... doesn't make sense…" She nuzzled me again, "If I had let you die, I’d have felt so terrible. I'm sorry Kieran. I know I gave you the wrong impression; I was being selfish the first time we met. But I do truly love and care for you, as I do for many ponies." I groaned as another wave of pain washed through my head. "I don't get you ponies and your obsession with affection." I huffed, "I’m not that gullible. When morning comes, I know you're just going to get rid of me so that you and Flurry can have your perfect princess. And I don't care in what way anymore. Just make sure what's left of the old me is gone when you wipe my memory or whatever." I said bitterly. Cadance sighed sadder than I'd heard her do yet. "Can you please understand that I’m not going to get rid of you in any sense, Kieran?" I shook my head, "No, I do understand; I've gotten over it already. Nobody just helps someone like me for no reason. You want something out of me. Because otherwise, why else would anyone care? Especially when you can just start over with a brand new daughter after getting rid of me, you have the power to do it." Cadance began to let a few tears fall from her eyes. "I want you to be safe and happy! I don’t know who hurt you before, little one, but I’m not like them. I promise!" I felt a slight bit of anger as I released a huff and argued louder than before, "Who said anybody hurt me? Nobody hurt me." I felt another wave of pain and covered my head with both hooves. I released a slight whimper at the feeling. A few minutes passed, and Shining came in wheeling a small cart. He stopped at the bedside and levitated a small capsule over to my face. "It’ll help with the pain and fever," he reassured me. I relented and opened my mouth as he levitated a glass of water up to my mouth. I swallowed the pill and began drinking as the sweet, cold water began to wash down my throat. I grabbed the glass just to make sure he wouldn’t pull it away as I nearly drank the entire thing. All the while, Cadance was petting the back of my head. After I drank that, Shining levitated a sandwich over to me. I looked at the contents, which were spilling out, with disdain. Flowers, lettuce, and other greens. It looked wholly unappetizing, but my stomach growled at the prospect of eating it. Cadance stroked my mane, "It’s good, I promise. You have pony tastebuds now." I relented and allowed Shining to feed me a bite of the sandwich. It tasted just as good as any old sandwich from my world, but to my starving body, it tasted like the best thing alive. Shining could barely keep up with my hunger. I ravenously finished the sandwich and looked a bit disappointed. Shining released a quiet laugh, "Don’t worry, I've got two just in case. Here you are, little one." He smirked, "That last one was Cadance’s favorite; this one is my favorite. I’m somewhat of a sandwich connoisseur, so tell me what ya think." I looked up with some appreciation as he fed me the new sandwich. A different kind of flower, and it had what tasted like cucumbers and carrots. I couldn’t really pick a favorite between the two since I was so hungry that garbage would probably taste appetizing. After finishing, I’d eaten more than I probably had in the whole month I’d been here. And I released a satisfying hum as Shining gave me another drink of the glass of water. I attempted to process what I was allowing these two ponies to do with me, but nothing was working up there. It felt blank, but I could tell it was due to exhaustion. Cadance smiled sweetly, "Is that better?" I released a large yawn as I nodded my head. "Thank you." I muttered begrudgingly under my breath, I was raised with manners after all. Shining hummed, "No problem, get some rest." He told me before laying down in bed next to Cadance. I reached up to rub my eyes, and Cadance pulled me in. Lying down and wrapping her wings around me in what felt like a way to prevent escape. I felt wholly uninterested in arguing against her act. "Sleep, Kieran. You’re safe now." She whispered. I knew all of this was only temporary. But I had to admit that for a few moments, I did feel a small sense of happiness. It's too bad that the world and it's people doesn't care about your happiness or feelings in the end. If I were to let my guard down at any point, I'd have what little is left of myself ripped away coldly and uncaringly. And I wouldn't let that happen. I would never be safe. My body relented to her request, and without much trouble, I slept once again. > 5 - Portrait of a Blank Slate > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I awoke to the unfamiliar feeling of sickness. I was lying in a very large, mostly pink bed that felt like a cloud. My memory flashed through last night’s events, and I sighed. I was surprised Luna hadn’t bothered me, though she likely saw no reason now that I was in Cadance’s hooves. But for once, I had woken up not to the feeling of biting wind. It was warm, even cozy. Though I knew better than to allow myself to get lost in the feeling, I wouldn’t be staying here. The bedroom door was open, and outside I could hear people talking. I tried to stand on my hooves and was immediately reminded of how exhausted my body was. I collapsed back onto the bed instantly before trying again and managing to stay in a sitting position. Even with the warmth of the castle, my body still had a minor chill every now and then. I must’ve had pony fever or something. I sniffled to try and clear my head, which felt stuffy, which obviously didn’t do much. Though thankfully, my head wasn’t berated with permanent aches anymore. My ears swiveled towards the door, where approaching steps could be heard. When I lifted my head, I met Cadance's gaze. Her eyes widened, and she adorned a sweet smile, "Good morning." She tilted her head. "How are you feeling?" I didn’t know what to think or even feel as I looked around the room I was in. Which firmly reminded me that I was in the hands of the royal family now. "I’ve been better." I said quietly, barely giving her a glance. She walked over to the bed and leaned forward, putting a hoof on my forehead. She brought it back with a sigh, "You’ve definitely still got a nasty fever." I nodded absently as I stared down at the sheets awkwardly. What did she want from me? What was she expecting from me? She took a few steps away from the bed toward the door. "It’s almost lunch time. You can come out and eat with us, or I can have someone bring you food if you’d like, dear." She gave a sincere smile. I stared at her for a moment, then shook my head and looked down at my hooves, saying, "O-Okay…" She left the room, leaving a crack in the doorway for me, and I was left pondering my situation once again. She hadn’t invaded my personal space ceaselessly like I'd expected her to. Outside, I heard her talking with what sounded like Shining Armor, but it was too muffled to understand. I carefully jumped off the bed and onto the ground, nearly falling in the process because of how weak my limbs felt. I looked around; it was exactly what you’d expect a princess like Cadance’s room to look like. I gravitated towards the balcony, where I could see snow drifts three times the size of me out the crystal doors, and I paled. I would’ve been buried alive and suffocated if I hadn’t died of hypothermia first. I kept looking around, eventually noticing an odd-looking device on one of the desks. I carefully wiggled my way up onto the chair for the desk and prodded at the thing. It was a weird crystal that floated right above a base, and there were a bunch of buttons with symbols I didn’t understand. Curiosity got the better of me, and I pressed one. An odd chime sounded from it multiple times, until suddenly a voice erupted out of it: "Yes, Princess Cadance? How can I assist you? Do you need our cleaning assistance?" I realized then that it was essentially a phone and panicked. I squeaked and pressed every button that looked like some sort of call-end button. The voice disappeared, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Just when I thought it was over, the chime sounded again, and some stallion answered, "Yes, Sergeant Bristle here. What can I help you with, Princess?" I panicked more and talked nervously, "Ahh! End call! End it!" I said nervously as I covered my face with my hooves in embarrassment. "Princess Flurry Heart?" The stallion asked. "No! I mean, end the call!" I said loudly. I heard a laugh from the other end: "Oh, Kieran." There was a pause. "Don’t panic; just press the blue button on the bottom." I didn’t question how he knew who I was. I nodded profusely, even though I was alone, and quickly found the button and pressed it. The sound cut off with another lower chime, and I was alone. I waited with bated breath for a few moments before finally sighing in relief. That’s the last time I touch some odd crystal device again. I felt a familiar feeling of needing to relieve myself and looked around the room, quickly spotting the bathroom. I carefully made my way over, peaked inside, and quickly paled. It wasn’t exactly fit for a filly of my size. The embarrassment of having to now find someone to ask about using the restroom made my face heat up and go red. I looked down at my hooves as I contemplated everything that had led up to this moment in my life. And grunted in anger, ‘Stop acting like this.’ I told myself in my head, angrily. ‘You’re not a pony, and definitely not a little girl. So stop acting like one.’ I steeled my expression as I marched toward the door to the bedroom. I carefully opened the door, trying not to make any noise. I creeped outward and took stock of my surroundings. Cadance and Shining were talking to each other while laying on the couch. And there were no maids or anything else in sight. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before trotting forward. It didn’t take long for the two to notice me. I didn’t look up as I didn’t want to see their faces when I asked. "I… need to use a bathroom…" Cadance hummed, and I heard her hooves connect to the floor. "Of course, Kieran. You don’t have to be ashamed, honey." I gritted my teeth and faced away from her, "I’m not." She hummed amicably once again and started walking somewhere, so I followed her. We walked briefly down a hallway, each step forward cementing my embarrassment. Being led to the little filly’s room was the last thing on my agenda, yet the first thing I needed. She stopped as she gestured towards a room in the hallway. "This bathroom has more filly-sized accommodations." I wanted to groan and yell that I wasn’t a filly, but well… that just wouldn’t be true, would it? I sighed with a short nod and walked forward. "Tell me if you need any help, okay? I'll be right out here." My face went bright red again as I disappeared inside. There was no chance I’d ask for help, even if I was literally getting flushed down the toilet. It was a single bathroom with multiple-sized latrines for use by anyone. After doing my business, I walked over to the much lower sink and stood on my hind legs to wash my hooves. Which I didn’t think did very much in terms of hygiene since we were always walking around on them anyway. I wished I could use my horn to levitate like everyone else; it seemed so much cleaner to eat or really do anything like that. I looked up at myself after washing, and staring right back at me was Flurry Heart. Not me, not anything I identified with, just some filly princess from an alternate universe. I’d seen myself plenty of times in reflections on the streets, but somehow being in the castle had cemented everything to be so much more real than before. I wish I could stay positive in that moment and just tell myself the simple words, ‘At least you’re alive.’ But not even those words sated my disdain. ‘Wrong body, wrong world, wrong gender, wrong. Wrong, it’s all completely wrong!’ I felt tears falling down my face, ‘Great, now wrong doesn’t even sound like a real word.’ I sniffled and wiped my face to clear it. I heard a bit of shuffling outside the door. "Is everything alright in there, Kieran?" I stayed quiet for a second to compose myself, taking a deep breath. I called out, stuttering a bit on my first words. "Y-Yeah just… give me a second." ‘Calm down; you lived a month in this body. You should be used to it already.’ Though having to look that new body in the face was something I rarely did. After taking deep breaths and getting away from the mirror, I managed to compose myself enough to open the door and walk out. I could tell Cadance was trying to look me in the eyes, probably to discern whether I’d cried or not. I kept my head firmly pointing the other way as she led me back to the previous room. "I can get you some more medicine when we get back; that should help a bit." She told me. Sickness; it was just my luck to have contracted it. I thought annoyedly to myself about what kind of sickness ponies could actually get. A thought occurred to me, one that made me mildly nervous: "Um… Cadance… Do ponies get diseases? Are you sure it’s just a fever?" She slowly nodded with a curious gaze, "Yes… why?" I huffed. I didn’t exactly want to talk about this, but it was certainly a concerning thought. I spoke quietly as my voice echoed in the halls: "Do vaccines carry over? Like… does my body have all the same medical vaccines as Flurry's? Because I might just be a stewing petri dish of disease right now." A look of apprehension and horror overtook Cadance’s features as she quickly enveloped my body in a magic field and turned back in the direction we’d just come from. "Right back to the nurse, you go!" Cadance hummed nervously. And that’s how I spent the beginning of my day, getting injected with at least nine different shots. Thankfully, they divulged that it was indeed just a common fever with no underlying diseases. The nurse, Moon Petal, and Cadance alike both apologized profusely to me, though for different reasons. Cadance must’ve thought I’d be angry at her for it, and the nurse was apologizing for not even thinking of the same thing I did. All in all, it took maybe an hour. But being stuck with so many needles while already feeling terrible? My body was not in the mood. And my mood in general had turned sour. I lay across Cadance’s back, feeling like if I so much as lifted a hoof, I’d be subject to terrible pain and illness. I felt like some random stray dog that just got taken to the vet. Which honestly wasn’t far off. Cadance walked us through the large crystal hallways back towards the main palace, and she kept glancing backwards at me worriedly. "Would you be up to eating lunch, honey?" I mumbled something incoherently into the fur on her back, and she seemed to interpret it as a positive response. Which it was. I wouldn’t pass up on a meal after going so long without anything to eat half the time. It wasn’t long before we came back to the main palace section of her castle; I could already see Shining Armor and Flurry Heart sitting around the table. Flurry was drawing with a hoof on her cheek in concentration. And Shining was looking over some sort of paper. I sighed as I tried to mentally prepare myself to interact with the rest of these ponies. She sat me down on a pillow, surrounding the table. Almost immediately afterward, I felt many eyes on me, and I mentally sighed. I looked around the room I was in. It had an enormously large ceiling and windows the size of my old house. Which was already impressive; the crystal fireplace in the corner of the room was massive as well, though everything might’ve just seemed bigger when you were smaller. The room had many different couches, bookshelves, and, of course, the dining table on one side. On the other side was a large balcony of sorts with a glass door. which, based on the amount of snow built up on it, made me pale again at the idea of being buried underneath it all. It was a cozy yet extravagant living section for a castle, exactly what I’d expected. There was a door to their large bedroom and one to Flurry’s. But those were the only ones I recognized, as the rest were hallways and rooms I’d never been in. Surprisingly, Shining Armor was the first to speak to me as I analyzed my surroundings. "Are you feeling alright, Kieran?" I glanced at him and huffed, "I’ve been better." I mumbled truthfully, looking down at my hooves. I glanced over at Flurry, expecting her to be on my case already. But she was staring hard down at her paper, almost as if she were scared to meet my eyes. I shrugged it off internally as Shining spoke, "I’d rather hear that than not hear you at all." He said with a large smile. Cadance had mostly watched as she talked to a pony near one of the doorways. She returned to me and ran a hoof through my hair. I didn’t have the energy to tell her to stop; after all, what good would it do? Cadance levitated another capsule and glass of water up to my mouth, "Here you are." She said quietly. I eyed the capsule and sighed, "What are these anyway? Mind wipe pills?" Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Flurry cringing as she hid herself even more. Cadance merely held it closer to my face, "It’s a fever reducer. The only sort of mind wipe I know of is when I preen Flurry’s wings." She laughed awkwardly at her attempt to lighten the mood. I had no reaction as I took the medicine and drank carefully, holding onto the glass with my hooves. But it was irritating me as she kept her magic aura around it the whole time. When I finished, I huffed, "You know I can hold it on my own." I said sourly. She placed it on the table and said, "Better careful than not." She sat across the table from my spot. So now I had Shining on my left and Flurry on my right. The silence and awkwardness of everything were palpable; there was no lively conversation; I simply sat in silence as I stared at the table, wondering just what I’d gotten myself into. Two ponies entered the room carrying trays in their magic grasp. And like a well-oiled machine, they’d set a full meal in front of all four of us and were out of the room all the same. They left behind some sort of mushroom soup and bread rolls to accompany it. I watched silently as the royal family around me discarded their previous distractions and began to eat by levitating their spoons along with whatever else they needed. I grumbled internally, partially out of jealousy. But after Cadance gave me a worried glance, I quickly reached my hoof down to acquire a spoon. I had to concentrate an unreasonable amount to just grab things with my hooves, and all these ponies around me were just floating things. How was that fair? After moments of making sure I had a good grasp of the spoon, I ate normally. Well, as normally as you can for being surrounded by a royal family, feeling like a dunce. Maybe they were keeping me around as the royal jester? The food itself was nothing to scoff at, and I had to remember to slow down my eating pace many times when Cadance or Shining glanced at me worriedly. I didn’t want their pity, but I was just so hungry after eating apples and other waste fruits for a whole month. Cadance must’ve been getting tired of the awkward silence, as she broke it by striking up a conversation with Shining. "So, how’s the city faring after last night’s storm?" Shining hummed, looking back down at the paper from earlier. "Well, the report from Sergeant Bristle said it was about what we expected." He stopped to confirm on the piece of paper, "Uh… Yep. Six feet of snow, and the temperatures dropped into the negative thirties." For a second, Shining glanced my way. I looked back down at my soup with annoyance as I tuned out their conversation. Looking to my side at Flurry, she was desperately shrinking in on herself. Why was she so upset? She was going to get what she wanted anytime now. Whenever they finally realized I was unneeded I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I kept eating my soup with a scowl. I mean, what was with all of them anyway? Just going on eating and trying to be normal when I'm sitting right here. A fake, a copy, of your own daughter. I'm just sitting right here having a meal with you. They had to be going insane trying to think of how to get rid of me. Maybe they didn’t have the guts to do it, and someone else would be arriving to do it for them? I probably wouldn’t be able to harm something that looked like my own kid. My concentration was broken by my thoughts, and I dropped the spoon from my hoof, which landed in the bowl. A bit of the soup splashed up onto my face, and I recoiled with a yelp. I rubbed at the spot to remove the slight burning sensation. Cadance gasped and stood up as she levitated a cloth up to my face, "Oh, sweetie, I’ve got it. Are you okay?" I swatted the rag away from my face and sat back up with an even angrier scowl, "I’m fine." I huffed. I reached for my spoon again, but Cadance wouldn’t just let it go. "What happened? Are your hooves alright?" "They’re fine." I groaned. She continued to worry. "Are you sure? Unless you dropped it on purpose, you shouldn’t be having trouble gripping things... Would you like me to help you eat?" She enveloped my spoon in her magic. My face heated up as my head hurt. I grabbed it from her magic with my hooves, "I said I’m fine!" I let out a bit louder than intended. Cadance’s ears folded on her head as she sat back down with a lowered head. "O-Okay." She said quietly. Shining Armor looked between the two of us with an unsure expression. And he let out a sigh before returning to his own meal. I was just glad he hadn’t gotten angry at me for yelling. I really was pushing my luck yelling at a princess… Flurry was now a ball of emotion, quivering behind her hooves as she finished her lunch. And Cadance’s eyes didn’t leave the floor. A few minutes later, we’d all finished eating, and the ponies returned to take our dirty dishes and disappear once again. Cadance carefully approached me from the side, "Kieran, would you like a bath, sweetheart?" I paid her no mind other than what she offered. Getting clean did sound nice; I had been on the streets for a long time and probably smelled anyway. I nodded to her and quietly replied, "Lead the way." She nodded back with a small smile as I fell in line behind her. We entered Flurry's room, and she turned the water on in her bathroom. She looked between me and the bath a few times and said, "I think a shower would be a better idea. The water is going to be nasty." I nodded in agreement as I waited for her to give me the go-ahead. After a few moments, she nodded and turned to pick me up in her magic aura. I huffed as I suppressed another bout of anger at being handled like a child as she gently set me into the tub. And yeah, she wasn’t kidding. The water almost immediately turned brown. She placed the shower head on a lower rung so that I could stand under it, and I had to admit that I felt a moment of pure bliss at feeling the warmth wash over me. I rubbed my fur happily as the water slowly turned from brown to clear. Cadance smiled and giggled as she took a few steps back. "Do you want me to help?" Cadance asked. "N-No!" My face went red. "I’m fine." She nodded and turned around, but she seemed hesitant. "I’ll leave you to it then. But I’ll be right outside the door. Okay?" I nodded absentmindedly as I continued to soak. With my mind clearing due to the warm water, all I could think about was how different everything was now. I truly wondered if maybe I was the problem. I didn’t belong here, and everyone else knew it. I didn’t belong as a filly; I didn’t belong with the royal family. I didn’t even deserve to be alive; I was simply the mistake of a spellcasting disaster gone wrong. Were they actually serious? Did they really not intend on getting rid of the old me in hopes of a new daughter? As the water made my body numb, I racked my brain for answers. If they didn’t get rid of me, I’d actually be stuck in this filly’s body. The thought made my body shiver. I felt so conflicted; the thought of dying again was scary, so scary. Death itself wasn’t scary from the little bits I experienced. But I didn’t want to die again. But then why did I want them to get rid of me, of Kieran? I felt so stupid; I couldn’t have it both ways. And who’s to say if I were to… end myself, Flurry wouldn’t just revive me again… ‘But then I’d be dying! I don’t want to die again!’ My mind scream in protest. And what would it do to Flurry Heart? She’d feel awful. ‘God, no matter what I do, it’s all a disaster.’ I lay down in the bath and held my head in my hooves. With a grunt of annoyance, I huffed out a long breath. ‘I don’t understand what’s going on.’ I felt my breathing begin to increase, and I shook my head wildly, 'No, no. It's fine.' After a minute or two of self-pity, I stood back up. I at least needed to get myself clean. I looked around for the soap, seeing so many different bottles. What did each of them do? The colors weren’t enough, and I’d learned long ago that I couldn’t read whatever writing this world had. I couldn’t do a lot of things in this new world. I was so useless. I reached up carefully for a bottle that looked promising and gripped it in my hooves. But apparently, when something is wet, with my terrible lack of power in my hoof grip, things just slip out. I chased the bottle around the floor of the bath for many minutes, gripping it and having it slip away—all of this for something that might not even be shampoo. All of the stress and anger built up, and I finally whined loudly as I hit my hoof against the side of the bath. "Work you stupid things! Do anything!" I yelled. "Kieran?" I heard the muffled sound of Cadance. I gripped the bottle even harder than before, and it rocketed out of my grasp and onto the floor, many feet away from the tub. I seethed with anger as I pulled on my wet hair. I was too lost in my emotions as I hit my hoof against the tub over and over. Tears started streaming from my eyes. "Useless, useless, useless!" I yelled. "K-Kieran, stop!" I heard rushed hoofsteps as my hooves were grabbed gently by Cadance, and I looked up in alarm. She looked down at me worriedly, "Kieran, honey, please calm down." She pleaded. I felt my breathing increasing beyond my control, and my body shivered uncontrollably. I shook my head wildly and hiccuped as tears streamed down my face. "It’s not fair…" I whined. I felt the gentlest embrace I’d felt yet as Cadance locked her forelegs around my body. "Breathe…" She told me gently. For a few moments, I tried to push her away from me, but I gave up soon after. I followed her instructions as a necessity, not because I wanted to. She ran a hoof through the back of my mane, "Shh…" She didn’t tell me anything; she just kept shushing me and petting my mane. Rubbing circles on my back in a soothing gesture I didn’t understand. She hummed a very simple and short tune, but it was distracting enough to help my breathing slow. Her voice was soft and soothing, and the simple gestures mixed with the humming forced my attention off of everything that made me feel awful. And I slowly turned into a quivering, confused mess. She broke the embrace after my breathing had evened out. Admittedly, I felt a slight unhappiness at the break in gesture. I curled up into a ball in the tub, my body a mess of shivering and tears. Cadance’s voice was soft—so soft that I almost didn’t hear her over my own thoughts. "Let’s get you clean, alright?" I stayed silent as she grabbed the correct bottles and lathered my mane and tail. She was extra careful and gentle as she scrubbed, and I kept my muzzle firmly planted downward as I watched the dirty brown suds circle the drain. Cadance narrated to herself absentmindedly about what she was doing. Either to quell my curiosity if it was piqued or as some sort of self-serving ritual. She rubbed soap into each individual leg with more care than I’d expected. Cleaning in between grooves in my hooves is something I’d never have thought of if I were by myself. For a while after she had washed my body of all the suds, I assumed she had left. As I lay completely prone on the tub floor while staring at the drain. The drain was the only constant in my life at that moment. I felt a gentle stroke on my mane. "Let’s dry you off, okay?" She waited a moment and nudged my shoulder. "Is that okay, honey?" I sighed and forced myself into a sitting position as I nodded. My wet mane fell against my face with no regard for my feelings. She gently enveloped me in her magic, bringing me close to her as she wrapped a large blue towel around me. With precise yet gentle precision, I felt her dry off my body. And the sensation did make me feel much better physically. She hummed with a bright smile again, "Warm and dry little filly." She said it absentmindedly, but it immediately caused me to feel wrong again. I covered my face with my hooves and released an uncharacteristic whine as more tears came out of my eyes. Cadance entered damage control mode as she hugged me closer to her barrel. "Oh Kieran, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry." She told me softly with a horrified face. I leaned my head to the side, saw myself in the mirror, and huffed angrily, "That’s not me!" I cried, pointing at it. I looked to her for answers, but all I saw was distress and sadness. "It’s not!" My voice broke on those words. She pulled me closer, "Shh… I know, honey." I shook my head violently and covered my eyes with my hooves. "I’m not a filly; I’m a boy; I’m not Flurry Heart! This world doesn’t make any sense!" "Shh… I know." Cadance cooed as she finished drying my mane. "You’re still Kieran. You are, I promise." I buried my face in the towel as Cadance held me tighter. If I told myself she was only holding onto the towel and not me, maybe it would make the storm of confusion evaporate. With one last drying of my hooves, I expected to be let down. But she continued to hold onto me. I saw her open a bottom cabinet and bring a brush out, and my eyes widened. "Don’t you dare use that on my body." I whined. Cadance sighed as she allowed the bath to drain and exited the bathroom. "Just trust me for a moment, alright?" I opened my mouth to protest, and she shushed me, "Just this once. Okay?" I studied her face and averted my eyes with disdain for whatever she intended to do. "Fine." I moaned begrudgingly. She hopped up onto Flurry’s rather large bed and laid me down between her forelegs. I felt a growing amount of nervousness as she unwrapped the towel from my body, but the moment the brush hit my back, my mind spiked with surprise. After one single stroke down my back, I’d melted into a puddle of ecstasy. No wonder dogs and cats beg for this sort of attention; my entire body practically blanked at the feeling of it. And my back instinctively arched to get the brush in just the right spot. She kept me cradled in her arms as her brush worked on my tangled hair. She smirked, "See? It’s not so bad." She whispered quietly. I sat in silence as she brushed my back, my stomach, and my tail and mane. She did so expertly, and I found myself drifting off at the sensation. I was so completely enamored by the feeling that I didn’t even protest or feel upset when she nuzzled my face a couple of times. "Kieran," She whispered carefully, "What’s the real reason you think we want to get rid of you?" I shook my head and covered my face. "Think? I know you will." "Then tell me," She said ever so gently, "and I’ll listen." I choked on a new set of tears, "Because! I’m worthless in this new body. Eventually you’ll realize that I have nothing to offer, and you won’t need me anymore. Alicorns are supposed to be important, and I'm anything but!" "What if…" She leaned closer and nuzzled the back of my head as she whispered into my ear, "We just want you to be loved? Is that so awful?" I huffed, "I’ve been told something similar before…" "Thanks, Damon, this means a lot!" He ruffled my hair and brought me in with a hug. "No problem, kiddo, I just want you to see how much I love you. Merry Christmas." "And…" I hiccuped, "It was fake… all fake! How can I trust somebody when they can turn on me in an instant?" Cadance held a hoof to her mouth, "Is... that why you-" "Yes! That's why I died!" I cried. Cadance held me slightly closer as she hovered behind my head. Her realization caused her to gasp quietly: "I’m so sorry, I didn’t know." She paused, and I heard her voice crack: "The pain of being lied to in such a way—I understand why you don’t trust us. I’m sorry, Kieran." I buried my head in the bed below, "He didn’t stay to comfort me or say goodbye; he just left me to die!" I finally looked up into Cadance’s eyes. They were so empathetic, and I could see tears forming in her eyes. "Why didn't my brother stay?" I asked desperately. She sighed and averted her eyes for a second as she looked at me. "Love is strong, Kieran. But for some people, fear is stronger. They let themselves be overtaken by it and…" She seemed to be remembering something of her own as she released a long sigh: "They finally lose themselves along the way. And sometimes they lose someone else along the way too." She looked back at me and gripped tighter, leaning closer to my face. "But that is no excuse. You don’t have to forgive, and you will certainly never forget what they did." She leaned in closer and kissed my forehead, causing me to blush wildly in embarrassment. "But life is miserable when you assume that everyone will lose themselves to fear. So I’m not asking you to love us or trust us just yet. But please, don’t push everyone away and destroy yourself from the inside." "I just don’t know what I am anymore!" I cried. She looked at me in shock but stayed attentive as she listened to me. "I don’t even know if Kieran is real! What if they’re just fake memories that I made up to cope with my sudden existence? What if Kieran never existed!?" Cadance’s mouth opened and closed as a few tears fell from her eyes. I held back a shaky breath, "My entire life could have been a lie. And then I’d just be… I’d be… useless! And if I'm useless I'll just get thrown away!" Cadance shook her head and pulled me even closer. "No, you know that’s not true, Kieran." I huffed and lowered my head, "But-" She shook her head and interrupted me, "No. Kieran, sweetie, look at me." She guided my face towards her with a hoof, "Tell me something only you could know about your world." I tilted my head and sniffled, "That’s dumb…" "Please?" She asked with an expectant gaze. I sighed and thought to myself for a moment, "You mean like… Cars? Ponies don’t have cars, do they?" Cadance smiled and stroked my mane, "No, we don’t. What are they?" She asked gently. I sighed, "They’re… metal machines with four wheels. They have motors, engines, and a bunch of complicated wiring. There are cars, jeeps, trucks, vans… And… you can go upwards of a hundred and forty miles per hour in most of them." I laughed slightly, "Though it’s not advisable." She giggled and nudged the side of my head. "See? Everything you just said sounds like nonsense." I leaned back and looked at her with an intrigued expression. "And… we have this thing called the internet. Where you can talk and look up things about anywhere and anything on earth. And even play games with people on the other side of the world." Cadance smiled widely and laid her head down as she looked at me with full attention. Her brows raised, "Oh? That sounds absolutely amazing. Your home sounds interesting! And the name Earth doesn’t ring a bell." "Oh yeah, on the internet we can upload things called videos that show other people a view of something we saw before. We can record them with cameras and…" I put a hoof to my head, "Wow, that’s a lot to explain if I get into it." Cadance giggled again with an intrigued hum, "Oh? So you could make… for example… embarrassing videos of younger Flurry when she had her first piece of cake?" I nodded eagerly, "Yep!" She huffed, "If only we’d had something of that ease in Equestria." A smile adorned my face as I leaned downward. "Oh! And we have these things called helicopters and planes that allow us to fly even without wings. Helicopters have these large spinning blades on the top and back that go really fast and allow us to lift off the ground." I was making wild gestures with my hooves to demonstrate. "I used to love watching things come and go at the airfield." I reminisced fondly. Cadance nudged me again, bringing my attention back to her. I tilted my head curiously as she laughed, "I don’t think a fake copy could have such vivid and colorful fake memories. Not even the best magic users in our world could fake memories like that." She brought a hoof up and booped my nose, "You’re as real as can be, Kieran. And I wouldn’t want you any other way." I stayed silent for a long time, watching her. But she stayed firm with her inviting smile, and I mumbled nervously, "Do you really mean it?" She nodded and ran her hoof across her chest in a pattern, "Cross my heart. And the princess of love doesn’t make those sorts of gestures lightly." She said with a small wink. Maybe… just maybe… it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to approach these ponies with a positive outlook. Especially since I had enough on my plate with being the wrong gender among many other problems. At the very least, Cadance was persistent enough that I had to believe her. At least somewhat. I sat on my haunches with a long sigh, and without much thought, I found myself leaning in and laying my head against Cadance’s chest. She seemed shocked as her mouth hung agape, and she slowly but surely raised a hoof and placed it against my back. I spoke quietly: "Please don’t be lying to me. Please." I choked a bit. "I don't think I could take it." Cadance giggled and nuzzled the back of my head as she brought me closer with both hooves in a tight hug. "For what it’s worth, I promise you, Kieran. Just don’t jump out of another window, please." I scoffed, "Don’t try to put me in a dress or call me a filly, and you have a deal." She pulled back and gave me a wide smile. "Why would I? You’re a colt." I felt tears brimming my eyes again as I buried my face in her chest. "That… means a lot, actually." I wiped my face. "Thank you." She nodded and gave me a prideful look, "We can help sort everything out. But for today, I just want you to relax and beat this nasty fever. Can you do that for me?" I gave a slow nod. Cadance shifted, and I thought she was going to leave, but she gently turned me around and pulled one of my wings away from my body. "Now that that’s sorted, let’s get these feathers corrected." I wondered curiously what she meant, but as soon as I did, she leaned in and began nipping at them. I immediately collapsed on the bed in ecstasy; my body simply would not respond anymore. "I told you," Cadance remarked with a short giggle. Trust didn’t come easily, and I couldn't say that I was the best at it. But for now, in that moment, I did feel a small amount. And it was the calmest I’d been since getting to this new world. > 6 - The Kids Aren't Alright > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shining Armor couldn’t help but look between his daughter Flurry, who was still deep in the midst of drawing, and the door to her own bedroom, which was closed. He felt a small bit of helplessness, laying on the couch with no clue how to help Kieran. He recognized just as well that his intense worry was linked to the fact that Kieran looked like his daughter. And of course, Shining felt guilty for that. If just being Flurry’s father and being upset over Kieran’s unfortunate circumstance was enough to feel that way. He deduced that he couldn’t imagine the mental load that it would have on someone much younger. The uselessness he felt laying on the couch waiting for Cadance to come back with news. He trusted her completely in the endeavor, but would Kieran ever feel trust? His mind swam with possible outcomes before he shook his head, leaning further over the side of the couch to talk to his daughter, who had been acting odd. "Flurry, honey?" She hummed but kept her muzzle firmly planted downward and only hesitated slightly with her drawing, "Mmh?" It was unlike her to give such an aloof response: "Is something wrong? You can tell me anything; you know that, right?" She nodded again with a small sigh, "I know…" She kept drawing as she stayed quiet. Shining sighed slightly, assuming that she’d rather keep everything internally for now. But before he could say anything, she blurted out, "Am I a good daughter?" She looked over at him for the first time and felt his heart sink, seeing the tears in her eyes. "Am I a bad pony daddy?" "No." He replied firmly, quickly sliding off the couch and onto the floor next to her. "No, not at all, honey. You’re a great daughter, and we love you so much. What would make you ask something like that?" He quickly wiped the tears out of her eyes as he pulled her close to his side. It seemed to make her even more upset as more tears came: "I-I ruined Kieran’s life." Shining didn’t have the heart to point out the very obvious statement that he didn’t have a life if he had been dead when she brought him back. Of course, that would have been a heartless statement. "How so?" He simply inquired. She whined a little, "I-I made him into a pony; I made him the wrong gender; and… and…" She could barely speak because she was crying so much. Shining just pulled her even closer and nuzzled the top of her head. "You were doing what you felt was right, Flurry." She huffed, "Well I… I was wrong! I even scared him away by telling him you guys might get the wrong idea and hurt him." She stopped for a few moments and breathed, "And now he hates us and thinks we want to get rid of him. All because of me!" She said this as she shoved her muzzle under her two front hooves. Shining sighed and laid his head on top of Flurry’s, stroking her side with a hoof which he’d done many times before. "He doesn’t hate anybody. He’s just scared and confused." He hummed inquisitively and continued, "How would you feel if you died, found yourself in a completely alien world, and not only did you look like some weird alien, but the weird alien was telling you that you were now their twin?" "I’d feel awful." She mumbled quietly, "And that’s what I did to him. I’m awful." She said it even quieter. Shining sighed again lightly: "No, Flurry, you’re not awful. You just need to give him more time to adjust. And it will take a lot of adjusting." He got no response, so he lowered his head and nuzzled her face. "And your job is to be friendly, understanding, and make him feel welcome. We’re here to help him; he’s in great hooves." Flurry nearly scoffed: "I heard him yelling a while ago after momma took him in for a bath." "Then that means your mother is trying to help. I’d rather Kieran be yelling and screaming at us than being quiet. It means that he’s still fighting for his past self. I know I wouldn’t be quiet and complacent in the same situation." Shining smirked, "I bet momma will be able to help. Mark my words." Flurry mumbled, "I hope so." Their ears swiveled as the door to Flurry’s room opened slightly. Both of them looked over curiously, and Shining’s jaw nearly hit the floor at the sight. Cadance had the small filly on one foreleg, tucked close to her chest. And not only was he asleep, but he had his own forelegs locked around Cadance’s neck. She began walking over, and when his mouth opened to speak, she quickly shushed him before laying on the couch next to him. She slowly laid the filly down, and he stayed still as he used her foreleg as a pillow. Shining stared owlishly at the sight, and even Flurry was shocked. Before either could speak, Cadance looked towards Flurry and spoke quietly, "Dear, can you draw in your room, please? Dad and I need to speak privately." "Yes, momma," she said while gathering her things. "Thank you; I love you, sweetie." She whispered to the retreating filly. Shining was thoroughly impressed, "Wow." He muttered, "How did you do it?" Cadance shook her head. "He just needs love and care." She looked down sadly and gently nuzzled his face. "He’s lost and scared… A little bit of patience went a long way." Shining put a hoof over hers, and she smiled back, "He just needs our help, Shiny." "Well, yeah, of course," Shining replied quickly. "And..." Cadance started with an impatient sigh. "The gender and race changes are upsetting him a lot. He also told me something concerning his past life…" Shining’s blood ran a bit cold. "Does it relate to his..?" She hummed with a short nod, "Apparently his brother did something bad that led to his death… and he… he just doesn’t trust very easily now. Understandably." Shining sat in shock for a few moments before sighing deeply and nodding, "Y-Yeah that’ll do it…" Cadance pulled Kieran a bit closer to herself, and Shining noted just how protective her actions were: "And I barely got him to trust me. And even then, I’m not sure if it’ll last. He needs a lot of love, safety, and security. To know that I don’t want to abandon him will take a long time." She wiped a tear from her eye and said, "I feel so bad for him. He absolutely hates being a filly." Shining nodded as he listened intently. "Of course, I’d hate waking up as the wrong gender. The poor foal…" He hummed. Cadance looked at him a bit sternly, "I need you to promise me you’ll refer to him as a colt. He had a breakdown when I referred to him as a filly." He nodded rapidly and said, "Of course, me and Flurry have been referring to him as… well, a colt. Even when he wasn’t here. I hope it will make him feel better, even if it’s just a few words." Cadance smiled and leaned in to nuzzle him, which he reciprocated quickly. "I know it’s silly to ask, but you’re going to help me, right?" Cadance seemed to be holding back more tears. "The poor little one just needs things to stabilize in his life. But… I don’t want to force you to help, because it will be a lot of work and-" He interrupted her, "That is a silly question," Shining said with a small huff. He looked at her slyly with a grin, "Nope." Cadance rolled her eyes and used her free hoof to push him away. Shining laughed as quietly as possible before leaning back in and kissing her, saying, "I’m with you every step of the way, honey. I’m offended you’d think otherwise." He answered quietly. Both their eyes widened as Kieran squirmed a bit and released a small whine. But both released a sigh of relief, realizing he hadn’t been woken up. Cadance pulled him close as she stood up, "I’m going to let him rest. He’s still sick as well." She paused for a moment, "I’m going to stay in bed with him too. The first step in assuring him I won’t leave him is being there when he wakes up." She said with a confident nod. Shining nodded as Cadance seemed to think to herself, "Or maybe he’ll be upset because he thinks I’m invading his privacy." She hummed, looking conflicted. Shining stood as well and nuzzled her, "There is no wrong answer, dear; follow your heart." She giggled quietly as she walked away. "I always do." "Damon! Damon, no, please don’t go!" I ran forward, but no matter how much I ran, I never got closer. "Damon!" I woke up with gasping breaths, and I immediately felt a soothing sensation on my back. I immediately released an uncharacteristic whine in protest. It was then that I realized in whose grasp I was. I looked up into Cadance’s face, still taking deep breaths. She watched me worriedly and cooed, "Shh… you’re alright." I froze myself a bit as I looked at her forelegs wrapped around me. Cadance noticed my reaction and began retracting them, and something urged me to lurch forward into her chest fur. "N-No!" I let out a worried cry. She quickly wrapped them back around me even tighter, leaning down to nuzzle the top of my head, "You’re okay, it was just a nightmare." She said soothingly. I felt embarrassed by my actions, but I knew they were helping me feel better. But I felt like it was something I wouldn’t normally do. My cheeks went red a bit as I kept my muzzle in her fur. "I-I’m sorry. You’re warm and soft." I muttered quietly. She giggled, "So I’ve been told." She continued to stroke my back, "And don’t apologize, please." I slowly pulled away from her grasp, and she relented her hooves as I backed away. "S-Sorry… Oh… um… I’m awake. I’m okay now." I said quickly while shaking my head. She gave me a worried glance, "You weren’t bothering me, honey; if you’re still tired, I don’t mind." I shook my head again. "No, I won’t sleep later if I do now," I said with a yawn. "Besides, you have things to do; I don’t even know why you stayed with me." I muttered, looking out the window at the sunset. Cadance sighed. "It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes, Kieran." There was silence between us for a while. I was, in fact, being vulnerable. And it was such a wildly unfamiliar feeling for me that I rarely ever opened up to others. Except in the rarest of cases. It was even rarer for someone to actually care about me when I most needed it in those situations. She reached a hoof out and checked my temperature. "It’s gone down; that’s good." I nodded agreeably before feeling a buildup in my nose and releasing a sneeze. Cadance smiled, "Faust bless you." I tilted my head and looked at her. "Now how is that saying multiversal?" I asked with a short laugh. Cadance hummed curiously with an equally tilted head, "I’m not sure." Then she released a short giggle. I felt a small shiver and saw the inviting warmth of Cadance’s fur beckoning me forth into more cuddles. But kept myself away for my own good. Cadance slowly got off the bed and nudged me with a hoof, "Would you like to stay in here?" "N-No!" I lunged forward and grabbed her hoof. Before quickly releasing it again, not knowing why I’d done that, I said, "I-I want to come with you. If that’s okay." I muttered embarrassingly. She didn’t make fun of me or laugh; she just gave me a sweet smile and a nod as I walked to the edge, tripping over one hoof and tumbling off the side of the bed clumsily. Only to be immediately corrected by Cadance’s magic, who placed me gingerly against the floor. "Th-Thank you." I mumbled with a sniffle, trying to clear my nose. She led me out of the room, and I walked with a lot less confidence than I had earlier. Beforehand, I was so sure that they wanted me gone, but now… Well, I may have been walking in Cadance’s tail to hide myself more. Something urged me into feeling that she was the only safe thing around. And even more so, I felt the need to cling to that feeling of safety. Cadance walked to another one of those crystal devices and spoke to somepony on the other side about bringing more medicine. Afterwards, she hung up and looked down at me. "It’ll be here soon." I shivered a bit more and almost tripped again. I growled in anger at myself and felt the soothing touch of her hoof again as she helped me back up. In my attempt to correct my aching limbs, I looked over towards the couch where Shining was watching us, and he quickly gave a wide smile and a small wave. Cadance noticed, leaned down to my level, and whispered, "He’s a big dork." I smiled slightly at that. She walked over and joined him on the couch, looking back at me to see if I'd follow. I stared awkwardly around myself, wondering what I was supposed to do. She was obviously giving me a choice, and she wasn’t forcing me to do anything. Her and Shining were in conversation; I could just sit here and shrink in my spot or even disappear. With a sudden shake of my head and boost in confidence, I walked over to where they were, sitting down on the floor right below the couch. They stopped talking and watched me curiously, and I blushed bright red as I stared at my hooves and said, "I-I’m sorry. For yelling at lunch." Was the first thing I could think of to say. I kept staring for what felt like ages and tilted my head as Shining searched for something to say. Finally, he smiled and gave me a short nod, "No offense taken, Kieran." I nodded as my gaze shifted towards my hooves. "I know, but I… I don’t want to be mean. I mean… I’m not usually mean! I just..." Shining laughed a bit, cutting off my rambling: "Everything you’d done is exactly how I’d expect someone to react in your situation. You’re okay, Kieran; don’t worry." I nodded slowly, "O-Okay, thank you, then." The door suddenly opened as a mare brought over a glass of water and more medicine. She handed it to Cadance, and she nodded thankfully. "Thank you, Moon Petal." The mare smiled and gave a short bow before retreating. Cadance placed the water on the floor in front of me and levitated the pill up to my mouth. I sighed to myself as I took the pill and concentrated all I could to pick up the glass in my hooves. I drank swiftly from the glass. Picking up things for me was rough. It had taken me days once I got here to get a grasp of a single thing. It was quite literally magic. I could only barely grip things by imagining myself closing my metaphorical hand, and even then I had to keep that image of my hand gripping something to continue holding it. And even that wasn’t enough sometimes, evidently portrayed by the now-falling glass of water that I had lost grip of. Thankfully, attentive as she was, Cadance levitated it, keeping anything but a few spills of water from dropping to the floor. I stamped my hoof objectively with anger, "I’m sorry, I’m… I’m awful at being a pony." I said with a scoff. Cadance levitated me up, putting me on the couch between the two. I felt awkward as I stayed silent. She held her hoof out encouragingly. "Put your hoof on mine and try to grip." I tilted my head a bit, "Sure, I guess…" I placed my right hoof against Cadance’s left and concentrated on trying to grab her hoof with my own. Due to her hoof being much larger, the most I could seem to muster was a pitiful magnetic-esque connection. Which I lost just as fast when she lit her horn up with magic. I retracted my hoof, holding it with my other and rubbing it. "See? I told you… I couldn’t even concentrate." She hummed with confusion: "I lit my horn to distract you on purpose. But… that shouldn’t be keeping you from holding things." She said with a slightly worried tone. Shining chimed in, "Well, if he’s new to hoof magic, honey, maybe that’s not very fair." She looked down at my hooves, which I was nursing as aches wracked through them, "Did you get hurt?" I shook my head with a curious gaze. "No? They just sort of ache a little. If I hold things too much it hurts really bad. Isn’t that normal?" Cadance’s eyes lit up in alarm, but she quickly corrected them to a more curious gaze. "It depends… And your horn? When you escaped our castle, you were-" "Blowing up," I interrupted. "It’s me literally just blowing myself up. I tried copying ponies on the streets and listening in on conversations. When I finally found my horn and tried to use it, I blew up in a large smoke cloud. And it’s still all I know how to do." I said with a shrug. She leaned in worriedly as she looked at my horn. "Does… it hurt?" I nodded worriedly, "Yes, a lot, actually. That time I escaped your castle, I had a throbbing headache for around a week." "Okay, now that sounds…" Shining started with a hint of nervousness: "Unnatural." "There’s nothing natural about me being here," I said sadly. Cadance shook her head and shot Shining a look before she pulled me slightly closer. "We’re here to help you; you won’t have to worry about those things, okay?" I rubbed my fetlock nervously, "It’s just because I’m new to magic, right? Is something wrong with me?" "No, not at all, honey," Cadance reassured me before giving me a small hug. I nodded and leaned in, taking in her warmth and softness. It was like some sort of spell her fur had; I didn’t want to leave the embrace every time. Cadance looked back up at Shining and began talking quietly. "How’s Flurry?" Cadance inquired. Shining hummed, "She’s distraught to say the least." Cadance nodded and shifted into a more comfortable position for both of us. "She definitely seems down lately…" Shining eyed me nervously as I looked at him curiously. "She called herself a bad pony and daughter. And she thinks she ruined Kieran’s life. And that Kieran hates us because of her." Shining dumped the bad news with a quiet huff. My eyes widened as I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for myself. ‘Flurry really thought all of that? That was ridiculous!’ Cadance sighed and rubbed her forehead with a hoof. "That filly… Why does she always feel responsible for things she has no right to?" "She’s like her momma," Shining shot back. Cadance scoffed, "Oh? And her other quirks are mine too, I presume?" Shining laughed sheepishly. I suddenly shifted to look up and said, "Cadance… I want to talk to her." They both seemed shocked. "Kieran," Cadance said with a conflicted face, "I’m sorry… Are you sure, honey?" She asked carefully. I nodded and squirmed out of her grasp, sliding myself off and onto the floor. I looked back up at the shocked couple, "I told her the first time we talked that it wasn’t her fault. She needs a reminder, I guess." I said while looking towards her door. "I don’t want to be an issue for anybody else… I’m done making myself other people’s problem..." I muttered. "You’re not an issue, Kieran. For any of us." Cadance said it a bit sternly but with care. I huffed and tried my best to smile at her and nod, "Okay, if you say so." I began trotting over to her door. The last thing I needed was Flurry being upset about me, other than the obvious problem of everything that happened not being her fault. I also had a small fear in the back of my head that maybe she thought her parents were replacing her, or maybe her parents would get angry eventually if me and her didn’t make up. It wasn’t a selfish desire to want to help her, but admittedly, talking to her would be just as beneficial for me as it would be for her too. And so, I got to her door and knocked. Shining and Cadance watched Kieran walk over to Flurry’s doors and knock, being told to come in, and gingerly open the door and close it. Shining nodded affirmatively as he looked over to Cadance, "I see what you mean." "About?" Cadance asked with a raised brow. He shrugged lightly. "He just seems different from earlier, a little more relaxed, y’know?" Cadance nodded in agreement while she stared at her hooves in thought: "I’m not very happy about what he said involving his magic." Shining watched her curiously and asked, "Isn’t it just because he’s new? Like he said?" Cadance quickly shook her head. "No, for an alicorn?" Shining’s features shifted into realization as he became concerned now: "You remember Flurry as a baby. You can’t tell me that filly was getting pain in her horn and hooves when using magic." Cadance thought a bit more before shaking her head definitively and saying, "No, this is different. He should’ve had a magic surge by now. His power should’ve been uncontrollable without someone helping. Not only is he an alicorn, but a completely untrained one." Shining sighed nervously as he looked back at the door. "What do you think is wrong?" Cadance shrugged back, "I have no clue… But I’m thinking I should ask someone else who might." Shining nodded in agreement. I lifted my hoof to knock, and all was silent for a moment. A few seconds later, I heard the nearly identical voice to mine reply, "Come in," she said simply. I pushed the door farther open and poked my head inside. Flurry was sitting on her balcony, staring down at the city. I took a few steps in and let the door close behind me, which clicked shut quietly. She didn’t even glance at the door or move her head at all. Only her ears swiveled in my direction as she released a long sigh: "Momma, I’m fine." Flurry said out loud, expectantly. "I’ve just got a lot on my mind." I felt unsure of how to approach this, but as I stared down at my hooves, I looked back up with my own sigh, "It’s fine, so do I." Her head whipped in surprise as she seemed to cower a bit. "K-Kieran?" She straightened herself a bit. "I mean… what can I help you with?" She said trying to give me a smile that was so obviously forced. I took a few steps in her direction, "Flurry…" I started quietly, "Why are you avoiding me?" I asked the simplest question I could start with. She stuttered nervously, "A-Avoiding? I’m not avoiding! Why would I…" She seemed to stop herself. Maybe she answered her own question in her head, or maybe she knew it was too obvious to lie about. Surprisingly, she sighed and turned her back to me. Staring down at the city one more time, she spoke a bit quieter, "Because…" She sighed, seemingly a bit nervous, "It’s all my fault." I walked over carefully, sitting a few feet away on her right. A moment later, she continued, "And I know you're a nice person and don’t see it that way." She huffed, "But it won’t stop me from seeing it that way." I glanced at her, "You’re right, I was thinking that." I looked down at the city as well. I could see why she was; it was full of lights and decorations. Ponies going about their daily lives. I looked back up, "I told you before that it wasn’t your fault. That I appreciated being alive again." I looked down at my body, "Even if I’m not… me anymore." She seemed to slip further down as she rested her head on her forelegs. "I took everything away from you by accident; why don’t you hate me?" My eyes widened, and I tilted my head. "What do you mean by that? You didn’t take everything from me; you gave me something I didn’t have before." I smiled. She looked the other way, and I grew concerned. "No. Sure, I gave you a new life, but I gave you the wrong body, gender, voice, everything!" She whined, "And I took the one thing away that I could give you—a safe place to recover from the shock." I opened my mouth, intending to talk, but she was faster. "I made you think you were unwanted and hated and…" I could tell she was beginning to cry by the way her voice wavered. "I’m the reason you almost died!" She choked on her tears. "And the worst part is that I did it all for selfish reasons!" She covered her face with her hooves, "I did it because I wanted a sister, because mom wanted another child. Not because you needed help." For the first time, she turned to face me, tears streaming down her face and puffy red cheeks. "I’m an awful pony, an awful daughter…" Her lips quivered. "And it’s okay if you hate me, because I hate myself too." She whined while burying her face into her hooves with a whimper. I was still sitting still in my place, in shock. I wasn’t the best at these sorts of things, and I definitely hadn’t expected all of this to be on her mind. I guess I never expected these sorts of things to be something she’d think about. I had rather selfishly written Flurry off as a child after I met her. But the Flurry in front of me was different than that. She wasn’t a dumb child with a lot of power that she used on a whim. But a seemingly lonely daughter of a princess who assumed she’d made a mistake. With her mother being the princess of love, no wonder she cared so much for others. So I found myself stepping forward until I was just in front of her. I gave a long sigh, "Flurry, you have the wrong idea." She only glanced up for half a second before hiding her face again. So I continued, "Yes, you may have done it for selfish reasons, but that doesn’t mean what you did was wrong." Her ears twitched a bit, and I continued, "I ran away not because of what you said but because of my own fear." She looked back up curiously, and I sighed again. "You see, I have a really hard time trusting… anybody. And when you revived me, I had just been betrayed by the only person I wholly trusted with my entire heart." Her eyes widened, but she kept listening intently. "That moment… it will probably always haunt me. Being cold and alone as I released my last breath." I looked at her seriously, "And if I’d known what I’d become, I might’ve been upset. Angry even." She averted her eyes again, and I paused for a couple of moments. I reached up and put a hoof on her shoulder. "But after floating in the endlessness of death, thinking about nothing but what happened to me, my next sight was you." I averted my own eyes a bit nervously, "A princess, someone who at that moment had everything I’d probably ever wanted in my life. And she was telling me that I could have it too." I retracted my hoof from her shoulder and put it on my forehead as I blushed a bit. "And you know what I did? I got scared and ran away. I convinced you that I would be in danger if I stayed. It all sounded too good to be true." I released a short huff of laughter, "Honestly, it still does." I looked back up and furrowed my brow. "I was an alien from a strange world, and you offered so much to me. And I know after everything happened, it doesn’t seem like it went well, but… you said when you heard me that you heard how sad I was. It was all very selfless and kind. Flurry, you’re not an awful pony." I got a bit closer to her and put both hooves on her shoulders, "Please don’t hate yourself. At least not because of me." I sat there a bit nervously, not knowing how to continue as I blushed deep red. "Well, uhm… anyway… that’s-" I felt her forelegs wrap around me and squeeze tight as she cried again. A slow smile spread on my face as I returned the hug, and she whimpered, "You’re still too nice!" She cried, "But I guess… I guess we both got confused and did things we regret." I nodded and rubbed her back; it was odd hugging something the exact same size as myself after being here for so long. "We both do our best when we can." She sniffled a bit as she rested her muzzle on my shoulder. "And when our best isn’t good enough, what do we do?" I could tell the question was important to her, and I thought about it carefully for a few seconds. I pulled back and put my hoof under her muzzle. "We do it anyway, and we hold our heads up and take failure in stride." I tilted my head and shrugged, "Or something like that; I don’t really know what I’m saying anymore." Flurry giggled, "Me either." She grabbed my hoof with hers, "I wanted a sister at first, but… I think it’s best if we start as friends." She gave a small, nervous smile. I smiled back and said, "That’s a good idea. But I'd never be your sister anyway." A look of horror crossed her face, and I quickly continued with a small laugh, "Because I’d be your brother." Her smile almost seemed to brighten up the room, and she quickly brought me back into another hug. We stayed embraced on the balcony for a little while, and she mumbled into my shoulder. "Mfmba gfamez?" I pulled back and tilted my head at her, "What was that?" She smirked, "Does that mean you’ll play video games with me?" I nodded with a laugh, "I never thought you’d ask. I’ve been dying to see them!" She smirked, "Well, technically, you have died to see them." She immediately widened her eyes and covered her mouth with a hoof, "Sorry." I laughed quite loudly at that. "No, that was good. You’re right." I continued to laugh, and she joined in a bit. If her humor and personality were going to be like that, I could see us getting along just fine. > 7 - love, death, distraction > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The sun was setting on the Crystal Empire, and Cadance had just finished the last of her royal duties for the rest of the year. They involved mainly reassuring the public that they no longer had to keep an eye out for a Flurry twin. But among other things, she had a few simple issues to work through as Hearth's Warming was approaching quite rapidly. In fact, this was her last day of the month where she would even think of doing her royal duties. They could be saved for a few days after Hearth’s Warming, and Cadance wouldn't entertain doing them a moment sooner. But she couldn’t shake her conversation with Kieran from her head; all day his descriptions plagued her, and as she walked through the hallways, she was rather sure of her next course of action. As she arrived back in their living space, she looked towards Flurry’s door. When she left them earlier in the afternoon, she’d been rather worried as she checked inside, only to see them happily playing videogames with Kieran’s eyes wide with wonder. She had smiled and simply told them she’d be gone for a while and that Shining would still be around. Cadance was concerned about many things involving him, especially when Kieran whipped around with a tensed body and wide eyes, ready to say something. But he had only nervously shut his mouth and forced a smile before saying goodbye. That was also concerning for the princess. His aversion to being left alone earlier in the day hadn’t gone unnoticed, and she started to wonder how to handle it. But she was no psychologist, and as her thoughts drifted further, that’s exactly where they went. ‘Maybe I should get him a therapist?’ She wondered briefly. She shook her head soon after, ‘He’s strong. It just means he’s attached to me already. Forcing him to talk to someone might make him not trust me.’ She thought with a simple hum. She sighed as she walked through the living room and into the bedroom, where Shining was lounging in a chair with a book and his reading glasses, which he insisted he didn’t need. She walked to her dresser and began taking off her jewelry and other additions. She felt Shining brush against her side afterwards. "Hey," he muttered simply. She smirked and met him with a nuzzle, "Hi honey." She chimed; she skipped straight towards her most worrying thought: "How are they doing?" Shining hummed to himself for a second: "Well, considerably better than I thought. Flurry even came out of her room to order me to make them snacks at one point!" He said with a short chuckle. Cadance raised her brow and said, "You didn’t feed them a bunch of junk, did you?" He waved his hoof and blew air out of his mouth dismissively, "No, of course not. Just some fruits." Cadance hummed with a short nod: "Nothing else happened? I’m glad they’re getting along." Shining sat down and averted his eyes. "Well, there was one odd thing…" Cadance’s breath hitched as she tilted her head. Shining continued, "Kieran asked at least a dozen times where you were and when you’d be back. I kept telling him you’d be home when you were finished, but he seemed caught up in it. I felt really bad." Cadance felt her heart sink at that, and she held a hoof to her chest as if it’d stop the pain of that thought. "Kieran…" She muttered sadly before sighing. She eyed the crystal communicator in her room wearily, and Shining followed her gaze. "Who was it you had in mind earlier?" Cadance began walking over to the device with Shining in tow, "Well, my first thought was Twilight." Shining nodded rather expectantly, "Yes, that would make sense." Cadance hummed, "But then I realized that she would probably be caught up with her own duties in Ponyville for at least a few more days… And I’d really like to know sooner rather than later. Waiting for Hearth’s Warming for us to all be together is too long." Shining put a hoof to his chin, "Then… who else would you ask?" "Someone who told me they’d be in the city this week…" She said rather cryptically as she walked over to the device. Cadance quickly began dialing a number into the crystal communicator, and she waited expectantly for an answer on the other end. It hummed a few times before finally the voice she was looking for finally hit her ears. "Cadance! How are you?" Cadance huffed a short laugh, "Quite well, Sunburst. And you?" He laughed a bit nervously, "A bit busy, but doing alright. I actually meant to contact you soon anyway; my parents and I arrived in your lovely city this morning. It’s so beautiful here at Hearth’s Warming. It’s still being held at your place this year, correct?" Cadance laughed at Shining’s surprised face, "Yes, indeed. Why didn't you come over to the castle today?" She asked in a mockingly sad voice. Sunburst chuckled nervously on the other end, "Mother had way too many plans to keep up with. I promise, I meant to come over!" Cadance smiled, "Well, it’s absolutely perfect timing that you’re in the city; I need your… advice… on something. You and Starlight were just the ponies I was hoping for." Cadance paused. "Starlight is with you, right?" She asked hopefully. She heard an inquisitive and surprised hum on the other end: "No, she is still back in Ponyville helping Twilight with the Hearth’s Warming celebration for the School of Friendship. They start it about a week early so that all the students can return home to their families. But I’m willing to help as best I can!" Cadance hummed thoughtfully, "Thank you. It’s a bit of a long story, though." Sunburst seemed unfazed: "I’ve just been relaxing anyway with no plans. Be my guest; it sounds important." Cadance closed her eyes. "Okay, well…" "And… Well, that’s how it got to this. We have absolutely no clue what’s going on involving his magic, and it really worries me." Cadance said while taking a long breath. She could tell by the sound on the other end that Sunburst was furiously writing about this. "I know I’ve expressed my surprise already, but an entirely organic body? Cadance, that’s… that might just be the craziest thing an alicorn has accomplished in centuries!" Cadance tried to suppress her worry as she hummed agreeingly, "Yes, it is quite astonishing. That she was also able to connect this new body with a soul from a different world or universe… I try not to think of it much." Sunburst was completely overwhelmed. "I don’t know how I could forget after hearing that." He said in wonder. "I presume she has gotten her cutie mark for such a grand act as well. It is astonishing." Cadance and Shining gave each other looks of weariness before she spoke again: "None to speak of yet. No such appearance of a macabre-looking cutiemark." Sunburst hummed curiously, "Well, she wished on a star; I would expect a more miracle-based cutie mark if anything." Cadance thought about that for a second before shaking her head, "Yes, well, it’s all exciting and everything. But what I really need help with is Kieran." Sunburst sounded sheepish over the phone: "Oh! Of course, I’m sorry, Cadance. What exactly is going wrong with his magic?" "Well, for one, he can’t grip things without extreme concentration, and it hurts his hooves." She relayed, "And when he uses his horn, the only thing that comes out is an explosion of black smoke. He says it really hurts and gives him long-lasting headaches. And he hasn’t had any sort of magic surge; I’m just…" She couldn’t help the intense feeling of worry from dripping out of her words: "I’m scared that he’ll get hurt." She felt Shining lean against her side comfortingly as Sunburst agreed with a short hum, "And the nurse’s scans didn’t come up with anything?" Cadance shook her head to herself, "No, they said his ley lines were all connected and undamaged." "Yes, but did they check anything else? The amount of magic he had? The ways his magic worked when he tried to use it while they analyzed him? Anything of the sort?" Sunburst asked a bit hopefully. Cadance’s mouth opened in shock but closed: "No… it was just a checkup; they don’t usually get that advanced. They were too worried about his physical health." Sunburst released a long sigh from the other side. "Unbelievable, magic is just as important for health…" Another sigh rang out as he paused for a minute. "It could be a multitude of things, and these are just my first theories." Cadance listened intently as he began, "Kieran previously was a non-magical being, and now he has been thrust into the most powerful of the races of ponies. Flurry didn’t specify anything other than an exact twin. This could be causing a lot of conflict with his internal magic. Not to mention, it might even be a mentality. Maybe their brains work differently and are completely incapable of producing magic, even when given a magical body. It’s likely that his body is confused; it knows it shouldn’t be an alicorn, yet it is regardless. And-" Sunburst heard a whimper from over the communication device and stopped in his explanations. "Are you okay, dear?" Cadance was unable to hold back from releasing her worried whimper, and she sighed sadly, her voice breaking a bit. "I see… Lots of things could be terribly wrong. I just… It worries me." She sighed again. Sunburst’s voice slowed from his more analytical view into a softer tone: "Hey, Cadance, it’ll be alright. I’ll come by tomorrow, and we can run a few tests, okay? It might all just be something simple. He taught himself, after all." She nodded as Shining rubbed her back soothingly, "Y-Yes, thank you, Sunburst. That would be wonderful." A call was heard, and Sunburst huffed from the other end, "Mother wants to go window shopping and see the lights." He said in exasperation. "Please, take care of yourself and those two foals, Cadance. I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t tell Flurry! I want to surprise her." "Will do," Cadance replied with a short laugh. "Bye." Shining chimed in, "See ya!" Sunburst’s voice rose in surprise. "Shining!?" And then the communicator caught up as Cadance pressed the call-end button. She blushed sheepishly as she looked over at Shining, "Oops. Probably should have said something earlier." She laughed. Shining shrugged. "I didn’t know what else to say," he said with a short chuckle. "Yes! That’s nine for me and zero for you." Flurry gloated as she gave me a smirk from nearby. I felt a bit of sting from being so thoroughly destroyed in our game. But she had the major experience bonus of being a pony for way longer; their controllers were weird. Plus, mine was getting very tiring to use. We had been playing an odd game; it was low-graphics compared to what I was used to, but quite fun. The game we were playing was some sort of Mario Party-esque game, but with ponies from some sort of novel. The nine Flurry had referred to were basically the equivalent of stars. I laughed a bit. "Ya beat me." I released the controller, "I think I’m done for now. I’ll watch though." "Oh, come on, are ya gettin’ scared now?" Flurry teased me with a giggle before she saw how I was nursing my two hooves. I was trying to make it less obvious, but I was seething through my teeth while I rubbed them. I imagined this is what it would feel like to have carpal tunnel on, like… your entire arm. Radiating up like fire, but from within. It sucked, basically. She sat up with a guilty look, "Oh, sorry. I got a bit carried away. You can take breaks whenever you want, Kieran; don’t let me force you into doing something." She reached her hoof out worriedly, and I could see the guilt building up on her features. I waved my hoof and winced a bit, "Oh, I did too. I forgot until just a moment ago. I’ll be okay." The truth is, I wasn’t feeling okay. But I assumed everyone could tell that and didn’t want to force guilt upon everyone all the time. So I stayed silent as she turned the game off, as well as the odd crystal TV that seemed to run on magic. Everything ran off of magic, I think… I looked anxiously towards the door. "I wonder if Cadance is back." I wondered idly with a tilted head. Flurry hummed and shrugged. "Dunno, wanna check?" She bounded ahead of me and looked back at me expectantly. I put my hooves back on the ground and fought not to cringe at the pain, giving her a nod. She ran up to the door and was about to open it when suddenly it opened itself. "Ahh! Demon!" Flurry shouted as she fell to the ground. Cadance poked her head in, then her body, as she smirked down at her. "Oh, sorry, Kieran." Flurry widened her eyes as she sat back on her haunches. "Momma, I’m not…" Cadance adopted a slow look of horror as she looked between the two of us. "Flurry! Oh, I… you said demon and I…" She looked at me with a sincere amount of guilt, "I’m so sorry Kieran." My eyes were affixed to the floor for only a second before I looked back up and shrugged, "It’s not surprising; it’s okay…" I walked over and hugged one of her forelegs lightly, "I’m just happy to see you again." I mumbled awkwardly and quietly. She placed her other hoof on my back and leaned down, giving me and Flurry a quick nuzzle before drawing upward again. "Dinner should be ready, unless you two filled up too much on snacks." She teased. Flurry bounded out the door, and I nodded. Releasing her hoof from the hug, I put it back on the ground to walk, not expecting the lingering pain in my hoof to spike. I tripped and caught myself as Cadance looked at me worriedly, "Everything okay?" I nodded and gave a fake smile, "Yes, just new to my hooves still." I said dismissively. Setting my hooves back down and wincing through the pain as I walked after Flurry. I kept looking back at Cadance for some reason, but each time she just gave me a sweet smile. I let Cadance walk past me and take a seat at the table next to Shining. Flurry took a random spot as she asked the servant what dinner was. I stared awkwardly at the table, but with a small smile. Cadance looked back and gestured for me to come sit, which I did. I walked over quite carefully and sat on the other side of Cadance, probably a bit too close for any normal person’s comfort. But I felt a smile and a warm feeling radiate from me as she gently put a wing on my back. I looked back up just in time to see the cooking staff bringing in dinner and setting it before all of us. I looked down hungrily at the food; it was a sort of pasta with red sauce, much like spaghetti. And there were many varieties of flowers and greens topping it off. Everyone else lifted theirs, and I looked over at my own, my face falling in horror as I looked between them and my hoof, which still hurt really badly. I felt conflicted about whether to just shove my face into it and eat like a dog, but I felt Cadance rub my back with her wing and whisper, "Do you want my help, sweetie?" I looked up at her in surprise; my mouth opened to protest or to tell her I’d be alright, but I found myself nodding, "Y-Yes please…" She smiled and returned a nod, using her magic to lift one of my utensils. I didn’t like the idea of being fed; it felt babyish and also quite embarrassing to have her attention on me the whole time. However, I didn’t have much of a choice, and at the very least, it was Cadance doing it. Neither Shining nor Flurry seemed to notice, and if they did, they didn’t care. Cadance was so impressive with magic. She fed herself while also feeding me, and her control of the utensils was so gentle. Usually I’d expect to be fearful when a fork is telekinetically floating in front of me, but she seemed to be a master of magic. That’s an alicorn for you, I guess. Or maybe fork levitating isn’t very impressive. So I happily ate with the rest of them, this time without my bitter comments from before. They really were a nice family. When I finished eating a bit faster than everyone else, I sighed happily. Cadance giggled down at me as she levitated my napkin. "Here," she said as she wiped off the apparent sauce coating my muzzle. "Thank you, Cadance… You’re too nice." I muttered quietly. She pulled me closer to her side with her wing and nuzzled me, "Just the amount you deserve. You’re welcome, honey." She said quietly. I’d had a long day, and I found myself drifting off as everyone continued eating. I leaned in close to her side, laying my head against it. Cadance seemed unbothered and only seemed to hug me tighter with her wing. Cadance couldn’t help but feel a warm feeling wash over her as she watched the filly fall asleep against her side. She hadn’t imagined she’d be anywhere close to this sort of interaction with him when the day had begun, and now he seemed so much happier. Cadance couldn’t help but feel proud of both herself and Kieran for finding it in himself to accept their help. She looked over at Shining, who’d clearly noticed, and shared a smile. Shining looked at Flurry and spoke a bit quieter to keep from waking up Kieran. "You and Kieran seem to be getting along." Flurry nodded vigorously as she finished chewing a bite. "Yeah, he’s really nice, actually!" She was shushed by both adults, and she looked at the sleeping twin sheepishly, but he hadn’t budged. "Well… we helped each other a bit." She spoke fondly yet sadly at the same time. Cadance tilted her head, "You two aren’t hiding any secrets from us, are you?" The question was playful but also stern. Cadance didn’t want another situation to crop up because one of them would refuse to ask for help again. She shook her head, "No, it was just a very personal talk. I wouldn’t repeat anything he said because I don’t know if he’d want that." Cadance nodded and smiled proudly at her daughter as she continued on and jumped to a new topic. "Oh yeah, he really likes music. I showed him some of the songs you got for me, daddy." Shining laughed, "Good." But another thought overcame Cadance’s mind as she looked down at the rather peaceful-looking filly sleeping. She only knew about his trauma and vaguely about his personality, and she suddenly realized how much she didn’t know about him. She couldn’t say his favorite food, the things he liked to do, or even his favorite color. That sudden realization made her face fall farther in a rather sad way as she thought more about it. Finished eating, however, she looked back up at the other two as she levitated Kieran onto her back. "I’m going to put him in bed, Flurry; your bedtime is soon too sweetie." Flurry nodded, "Yes, momma." Looking back to watch the small filly nestle into the fur on her neck made Cadance smile, and she walked down the hallway. She hummed curiously, ‘There are no guest rooms near our living quarters…’ She mentally shrugged it off as she walked further down the hallway towards another side of the castle, ‘I’m sure he’ll appreciate peace, quiet, and alone time.’ Entering a rather lavish guest room with monotone gray coloration, she walked over to the large bed and pulled the cover back with her magic, then gingerly placed the filly into the bed before covering him again. She felt her heart melt a bit at the view, then felt a twinge of guilt and sadness, knowing that she was finding her own daughter cute in that moment instead of Kieran. She shook her head to clear her head of the confusion and leaned down before whispering, "Sleep well, little one." She leaned in and kissed the side of his face. She walked to the door, looking down the long hallway, then back at him multiple times in conflict, ‘He’s fine, Cadance.’ She reassured herself as she left him to his sleep. I opened my eyes quite abruptly, then felt the whiplash of tiredness as I reached up and rubbed my eyes. Sitting up, I looked around at the dark room, ‘Did I fall asleep?’ I thought groggily. The warmth of the bed called me back to sleep, but I shook it away as I grew more curious: ‘Where am I?’ I wondered. I stood up, carefully scanning the room more; the monotone gray was not something I recognized from this castle, and so I hopped down from the bed. The first place I went was the bathroom, and as I washed my hooves, I looked in the mirror again. There was nothing I could do at that moment to change myself, so all I did was shrug, as I had earlier in the day. I thought of my day up until this point, and especially about the family that had graciously allowed me to stay. ‘Flurry is nice,’ I decided. ‘She tried to make me feel better even when she herself was going through a lot.’ I walked out of the bathroom and back to the bed, where I hopped up and covered myself again as I laid there in thought. ‘Shining seems nice, I guess.’ I thought as well. Then my thoughts drifted to Cadance, and I smiled, ‘Cadance is great. She’s everything you’d want from a mother. Flurry is a lucky filly.’ My thoughts drifted to her more as I remembered her telling us where she was going: ‘She is really important too. A princess with duties and a kingdom, and Flurry will be like that too one day.’ My eyes opened a bit. ‘What am I going to accomplish?’ My thoughts wandered more as I thought of my seemingly broken horn and useless hooves. And wings that I couldn’t even find the muscle for, even if I tried a hundred times over. Which was apparently a natural thing to know how to do from birth. ‘Why am I so broken?’ I thought a bit bitterly. I was unable to do anything, and my thoughts drifted to dinner when Cadance was feeding me: ‘Why does she even put up with me? An alicorn should be able to at least feed themselves.' I sighed. I looked through the darkness down at my front hooves, ‘How will I accomplish anything? I’m barely even a regular pony, let alone an alicorn.’ My thoughts drifted to many bitter and unfriendly places as I scoffed, ‘Cadance wouldn’t make me leave or get rid of me, though. She wouldn’t!’ I couldn’t know that, I still barely knew her. But as I gazed around the room I was in once more, my fear heightened, ‘Where am I?’ I got up from the bed again, my body complaining in protest, and jumped off the bed. I walked over to the door, which was left open enough for me to pull it the rest of the way. I stared out and down the long, seemingly endless hallway; it looked so large compared to how small I was. ‘I’m in the castle, but… now I'm alone.’ I thought. I felt my heart pick up in pace again as I looked around the hallways in the dead of night from my lonely doorway. I spotted a plaque on the wall. I couldn't read it, but just by assumption, I appeared to be in some sort of guest room. My body froze. I don't know why, but just thinking about it sent me into a spiral of panic and worry. ‘I’ve been labeled as just a normal guest.’ I felt myself begin to shiver, due to the cold but also in fear: 'Don't be ridiculous; where else would they put you?' But my breathing wasn't slowing down. 'They didn't ask me though. I would've slept on the floor even; I wouldn't have complained.' I argued with myself. The walls seemed to be closing in on me, and the only thing I could feel was the darkness. ‘But they put me in the middle of nowhere in the castle,' I thought a bit panickedly as I looked down the hallway. I wrapped my forelegs around myself as my breathing increased in pace. "Cadance?" My tiny voice rang down the hallway with a few echoes, but it was just me alone in the darkness. My lonely doorway, forgotten at the end of the hallway. Shining blinked tiredly as he yawned deeply, stirring from his spot in bed as he smacked his lips dryly. He thought about just returning to sleep but quickly decided against it as he stood up to get something to drink. Swinging his back legs off the bed and walking to the restroom, he came back out and smiled at his wife before turning towards the doorway. He walked over carefully in the darkness and opened it with his magic. As he entered the living room, he thought he heard something but dismissed it. Walking through another door into a regular kitchen and pouring himself a glass of water, he drank greedily, and again he heard the sound. It sounded like small taps on the floor, and his senses briefly slipped into guard mode, but he shoved it away. He was on vacation from the guard and wasn’t going to freak himself out. He placed the glass in the sink before walking out, giving another tired yawn. His steps were slow, and his ears swiveled around in curiosity. His alertness paid off as he heard the tapping once again, except it almost seemed to be trailing him. He grew very suspicious as he continued walking, pondering on what to do. After a few seconds of thinking, he simply turned on a dime as he lit his horn, "Who’s there?" He asked aggressively. He didn’t see anything, but he definitely heard a few taps. Furrowing his brow in confusion, he carefully walked around, looking at every section of the living room with scrutiny, before finally looking at the couch. He squinted his eyes perceptively as he carefully took steps toward it before rounding the corner in an instant, "Got you!" He growled. But his eyes widened and his breath hitched when the sight that met him was the quivering form of his daughter. No, his daughter wouldn’t be quivering in fear, he thought quickly. "Kieran?" He spoke curiously. The filly whimpered a bit before standing, "H-Hi… Shining." Kieran muttered nervously. Shining sighed as his adrenaline came down, and he laid on the floor to be smaller. "What’s wrong?" "Wrong? Nothing’s wrong!" Kieran defended himself quickly, almost offended. Shining furrowed his brow again. "Why were you… stalking me?" Kieran’s eyes darted left and right a few times before he spoke: "I didn’t want to bother or wake anyone up since I was thirsty, so I followed you and watched to see how to do it." Then he put on a smile. Shining was surprised by the depth of the lie that he’d concocted so quickly, but it was just that—a lie. He could tell by the mannerisms—how he couldn’t keep eye contact, and he rubbed his hooves nervously. With a long sigh, Shining looked into his eyes and asked, "Why are you lying? Please, tell me what’s actually wrong." Kieran seemed to flinch as Shining’s expression softened. He reached his hoof out and placed it under Kieran’s chin, saying, "Hey, I’m not angry." He reassured, "I just want to hear what’s up. If that’s okay?" He asked carefully. Kieran sighed deeply as his face became much sadder than Shining anticipated. "I… I got worried." Shining tilted his head. "About?" He encouraged him softly. Kieran gritted his teeth and looked away. "I… I don’t know. I just woke up alone and…" He could see Kieran begin to cry, and he felt his heart ache. "Kieran…" He muttered sadly. "No, I know; I’m stupid." Kieran huffed, "I… I was in a guest room, and I didn’t know if you guys…" A sudden range of emotions passed over the foal's face, settling on one of dismissal and pain. "It’s stupid; just forget about it." Kieran stood from his cowering position and began walking away with his tail between his legs. "You thought we abandoned you?" Shining guessed. Kieran stopped and lowered his head even more. "Like I said, It’s stupid. You don't have to tell me." Kieran mumbled before taking a few more steps away. Shining quickly trotted forward and cut off the filly’s path with his hoof, and Kieran bumped into it as he wasn’t watching where he was going. Kieran looked startled as Shining shook his head. "It’s not stupid to worry, Kieran. And you are not stupid. I don't want to hear you calling yourself that anymore." Shining said a bit sternly but with a caring expression. Kieran looked up with curiosity that slowly turned to anger towards himself. Tears started streaming from his eyes, and he quickly raised his hooves to wipe them. "I-I just wanted to see Cadance again. She's just in bed right? I don’t know why I feel this way." He mumbled. Startled by the sudden sadness and his words, Shining quickly laid on the floor and nudged him gently with his muzzle, "H-Hey, we aren’t going anywhere, buddy. I promise you that." But his words did little to comfort the foal, and he frowned sadly, "Kieran, are you that worried about being separated from us?" "No just... not that far! It's okay if I like…" Kieran mumbled as he sniffled a bit, "...Can I just sleep on the couch? I don’t like being on the other side of the castle." He whined sadly. Shining sighed sadly once again as he enveloped Kieran in his magic hold. "Kieran, buddy…" He walked around the couch and hopped up onto it, placing the filly right between his hooves as he lay down. "Please talk to me." Shining spoke encouragingly as he tilted his head. "I know I don't have your trust like Cadance, but I'm still here for you okay? You can tell me anything." Kieran sniffled a few tears away. "I've been getting really worried all day, so when I woke up alone I just thought..." He paused. "I realized I couldn’t do anything important like Cadance because my body is u-useless as a pony. And that I’m just a waste of space for an alicorn," he whined sadly. "Then I saw I was in a guest room, and I just thought you guys… maybe you realized the same thing and didn’t want me anymore." Kieran growled and put a hoof to his forehead angrily, "I know it makes no sense, but nothing makes sense here anyway and..." Shining listened intently with a caring, sad expression as more tears came from Kieran’s eyes. "I don’t know why I feel like this. When Cadance left earlier, I panicked because I didn’t know where she was." He put his hoof to his forehead, "That’s why I’m just being stu…" Shining furrowed his brow sternly, and he redirected his sentence: "I-I'm… lonely." There was a longer amount of silence as Shining watched him shuffle on his hooves nervously. He spoke soothingly, more than Kieran expected: "Lonely is an apt description, I think." He pulled Kieran closer to himself in a hug and nuzzled his head. "But it’s not your fault that you feel this way, Kieran." He reassured him. Shining pursed his lips before a smile overtook his features. "Did you know that my little sister is an alicorn?" That briefly distracted him as the foal looked up and shook his head curiously. Shining laughed, "Well, she’s the princess of friendship, Twilight. And you want to know something?" Kieran tilted his head. "W-What?" Shining continued, "My little sister used to follow me everywhere. She thought that I was the coolest pony ever because I wanted to join the royal guard for Princess Luna and Celestia." He paused to reminisce: "I always remember she would come into my room in the middle of the night and tell me she wanted to hug more because I’d be gone one day." He smirked, "But every single time, I’d pull her close in bed and tell her that wasn’t true. That even if I was gone soon, I would always be back, and that she’d see me again." He chuckled a bit. "Of course she was smart, so she’d even constructed plans to try and get me not to join the guard. We were just foals, so it never worked, but it showed me just how much she cared about me—that she’d do anything to keep me from leaving." There was silence as Kieran thought over his words. "I’m guessing you joined the guard then?" He wondered curiously. He nodded, "Eventually, when I got older. I was still home for every holiday, and I got to see her grow into a strong and powerful young mare, and well… now she’s a princess. She always had to show me up in the end." Kieran smiled a bit but still seemed sad. "That’s a nice story." Shining nodded and leaned in closer. "I told you the story as a comparison." He smiled and placed his hoof on Kieran’s chest. "You’re scared we’ll leave you because of what you haven’t become yet?" He huffed, "Psht, picking something to be already? You’re still so young; you’ve got a whole life to look forward to." He paused and briefly wondered if he should say more, but continued quickly, "But the point is, no matter what you try to be or are, Cadance and I will still be there to pull you close. And one day you’ll go off and accomplish amazing things, and me and Cadance will still be here to welcome you back." He leaned in and nuzzled the foal, "And who knows, maybe one day you and Flurry will accomplish greater things than us as well. Or maybe you’ll be a bookstore owner. Either way, we’ll still care for you." Kieran tilted his head with a small nervous smile. "Why would you already care about me? We barely know each other." Shining rolled his eyes playfully with a grin and said, "Because I can. But if you want to play that game, then hello, my name is Shining Armor. Guard captain, and prince of the Crystal Empire." He introduced himself with a hoof to his chest and a look of pride. Kieran laughed slightly. "Well, I’m Kieran..." He paused a bit, "Anyway, I blow myself up sometimes and I jump out windows." They both shared a bit of laughter, and Shining leaned in carefully to nuzzle him. After a bit of surprise, Kieran returned it happily. A few seconds later, the foal yawned, and Shining picked him up with his magic. "Let’s get some more sleep, okay?" Shining opened the bedroom door, where a tired-looking Cadance looked to just be sitting up in bed. "Dear? Where’ve you been?" She asked Shining with a yawn. It took her a few moments to notice Kieran, and her eyes widened as Shining came over to the bed. "Is everything alright, honey?" She asked worriedly. She rather quickly, without asking, brought the foal into her forelegs and nuzzled him. Kieran relished the affection, and instantly latched his hooves around her neck. "Yes, I-I’m fine." "Kieran," Shining said sternly with a raised brow, "Tell the truth." Kieran blushed embarrassedly. "I got scared when I didn’t know where you were." He admitted, "I got scared. I know you didn't, but I kept thinking you got rid of me." He said while holding back a whimper. "Oh sweetie…" She said sadly as she rubbed his back, "It’s okay. I’m so sorry. Don’t you worry." Inside, Cadance was kicking herself for putting him to bed in a room so far away. Of course he’d freak out and think they abandoned him. His aversion to being alone could only be explained by an extreme amount of neglect in his previous life. Her guilt bubbled up, and she nuzzled him affectionately, "I’ll never abandon you. Never ever. I’m so sorry I scared you; I wasn’t trying to." "It’s… okay," Kieran mumbled as he hugged tighter, releasing a large yawn. Cadance cooed, "Let’s get back to sleep then," she said sweetly as she looked up at Shining. They shared a smile before returning to the covers and lying back down. Cadance held the filly close to her chest with her wings wrapped around him, just like the night before. "Sleep safely, little one," she said with another nuzzle to his head. He hummed happily, "Cadance?" There was a pause as she waited patiently. "Thank you." He said quietly. She blushed and nuzzled him again. "Any time, honey." She felt a feeling build up in her chest as she pulled him a bit tighter and kissed his head. "I love you, Kieran." She waited for a reaction, but as she looked down, she held in a giggle as the foal was already sound asleep. Peacefully nestled against her chest. And there was only one other thing on her mind: 'He might need a therapist after all.' > 8 - It's Golden Hour Somewhere > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was floating in a sea of stars. The outreaches of my vision were the endless horizon, incomprehensible magnitudes of distance away. In my unconscious mind, this went without notice; the blinding light of hundreds of stars was nothing new to me. This is where I was in my time before, when I was still dead. I didn’t know if my experience of being dead meant anything to disprove the idea of an afterlife. I knew the world of Equestria wasn’t the afterlife, even if it was so much nicer than my own. It made me curious: why was I alone drifting in that sea of stars? Why had Flurry been able to not only hear me but also reach out and grab my soul? What felt like more endless drifting halted when, one by one, the stars began to go out. They would flicker a few times before disappearing into the darkness of eternity. Eventually I came into contact with something to stand on; I was apparently a pony as my hooves contacted the floor. I looked around, and nothing was in sight except endless darkness. "Hello?" My voice echoed. I turned my head every way to get an idea of where I was, until I turned around and was met with the sight of myself. Human Kieran. His sudden appearance didn’t scare me, but instead caused me to smile. Which my human counterpart did back to me as he sat with his legs crossed in the infinite void. "Hey," He chimed. I looked up and down with a raised brow, and it really put into perspective how much of a change being a pony was. I was the size of maybe a small to medium-sized dog. Nevertheless, I sat on my haunches and tilted my head. "Hi…" I said slowly. "Enjoying yourself?" Other Kieran asked. I pursed my lips and hummed, "That’s a loaded question, me." He rested his cheek in the palm of his hand as he stared at me with amusement, saying, "Yeah, I guess it is." He brought his other hand up to caress his chin thoughtfully. "I guess a better question is, are you happier?" I opened my mouth and closed it once again as I really thought about that question, "Happier than what? Happier to be in Equestria? I guess-" I stopped myself before I said the wrong thing. I furrowed my brow, "No, I- I liked being a human, I liked being a boy, I liked-" The thought suddenly invaded my mind as I realized… I had no other attachments to my past life. It made a feeling of pain wash through me that I couldn’t describe. Human me watched with what looked to be pity, and I struggled to answer such a simple question. "No, I’m not happier. I can’t even sleep by myself without my anxiety crawling up my spine and turning me into a quivering mess." Human Kieran frowned, setting his hand in his lap and leaning forward, "Really? Is it really that awful that you’d rather go back to living alone and scraping meals together each night?" "No," I huffed angrily and clicked my tongue as I looked away from him, "Why do you get to play the high ground in this conversation? You’re the one that went through all that!" I countered. "We’re not two different people, Kieran." He commented back to me. "I’m you, and you’re me." I rolled my eyes and crossed my hooves over each other, "Well, obviously, thanks Sherlock." Human me laughed, "Sorry, it just seems you had forgotten!" I was growing a bit annoyed by this copy of me. Since when was I ever that happy? I don’t remember having such a wide smile all the time or having such a positive outlook. "Well, you don’t remember those times because you’re still hung up on what happened to you." The human me replied to my thoughts. I recoiled a bit in confusion as I scowled at him. "What? I… Right, we’re the same person." I huffed. I mulled over what he said: "I’ve come to terms with what Damon did. I’ve already accepted what those two were using me for." "But you haven’t really." He retorted. "Which is fine; I’m not here to tell you to stop being upset." "Then what are you here for?" I asked a bit angrily. He smiled again and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "The confusion and distrust you have over your new body, these new emotions that you want to reject… You’ll only hurt yourself in the long run." I rubbed a hoof on my other leg as it quickly continued, "I think, clouded by all these other things, you’re not understanding that you could be a part of something that you’ve wanted for so long, if you’d only give it a chance." "And what’s that?" I asked wearily, with an unsureness in my words, as I looked down at my hooves. "A family." . .. … I looked back up, and the human version of me was gone. "Kieran? Kieran!" I hummed a bit as I opened my eyes, the first thing entering my vision being Luna’s concerned face, surprisingly. "W-Wha… Luna?" I asked curiously as I sat up, now a human. We were in a random dreamscape field, under a tree, with a sea of stars above. I stared down at my arms and legs curiously for a few more moments before she spoke. "I was trying to talk to you all night; I couldn't enter your dream!" She seemed a bit panicked by this. "It was like you were blocking me out." I shook my head wildly, "I didn't, Luna. I honestly don't know what happened." She sighed before sitting down and wrapping a wing around my side. She grew a devious grin upon her features. "So… You’ve got a new home." She began with a giddy air about her. I just released a short laugh: "I… I was sort of forced into it, but it hasn’t been bad." She nodded. "Cadance has told me all about your stay so far." I felt a bit of embarrassment crawl up my spine. "A-All of it?" Her devious grin spread a bit wider as she hugged me tighter. "All about it." She reiterated, "It seems somebody is quite fond of the "wicked pink witch," as you used to call Cadance." My face went bright red as I averted my face as far as possible and said, "Only because she is so nice." I grumbled under my breath. She giggled, "Oh, come now," she encouraged, "she’s a wonderful mare, I’ve told you. My best evidence? You’re letting me, the infamous night demon, hug you. Only a true princess of love could change someone’s perspective so easily." I looked back over at her, finally dawning on me that I didn’t even blink when she wrapped her wing around me in a hug. I was usually quite apprehensive of Luna, but now that she was holding me quite like Cadance does, I hadn’t reacted. "Will you push me away now?" She asked with a raised brow. With a small huff, I shook my head, "She is pretty amazing." I admitted. Luna smiled and clapped her hooves together a couple times, causing me to blush even harder. When she finally stopped, she thankfully changed the subject. "Cadance told me all about your magic issue." She said a lot more seriously. I nodded. "It’s honestly not a big deal. I didn’t have magic before; I don’t need it now." "Yes, but not being able to grip things?" She sighed. "That’s not good, little one." I rested my head on my hand, "I know. It really annoys me too. Among other things…" Luna looked at me as her eyes seemed to search for something to say, until finally she nudged my side. "Fear not, my little pony. Come hearth’s warming, every fully developed alicorn will be in the Crystal Empire. And maybe… hopefully." Luna stopped and gave me a reassuring smile. "We can get you a body that better suits you." She noticed my eyes brighten, and she averted her eyes. "Due to the unprecedented nature of things, we may not be able to fulfill that wish; however, we will try our hardest." "Thank you, Luna. It still means a lot." I said with an appreciative smile. For a much longer time, we sat there and watched the stars move and shoot in the sky nonsensically. "What’s your sister like? And Twilight. Isn’t she like the ruler of Equestria?" Luna huffed a short laugh, "My sister Celestia might scare you at first, but she’s very kind, I promise you that. Ever since we’ve retired, she’s taken up photography quite heavily; you might find her asking you many times to pose for pictures." I hummed curiously, "Photography? Isn’t exactly what I would expect the previous ruler of Equestria to take up as a hobby." Luna’s face fell a bit before she got a melancholic smile. "She told me it was the most powerful magic of all. Being able to capture a moment that will never again be seen. Being able to look back so easily on those we cherish. Especially when so much time passes in our lifetime." I thought about what she said, and it made perfect sense. Being the ruler of Equestria for thousands of years, she’s probably seen a lot of people and places fade away into time. I imagine memory, after so many years, becoming a tapestry of all the things you’ve lost. It was a haunting thought. "Twilight," Luna continued trying to answer my question, "Is the youngest fully developed alicorn, but by no means should you underestimate her. She’s proven her worth by saving Equestria many times and exhibiting such an understanding of friendship that it makes me jealous." Luna laughed to herself, "But personally, she’s a little bit scatterbrained sometimes, and she’s enamored by magic to an extraordinary and frightening degree." She looked at me, "I apologize in advance for the intense questioning and examination she’ll beg to do on you." She said with a sincere apology. I waved my hand dismissively, "I’m surprised it hasn’t happened already. If some weird alien appeared in my home world made of magic, he’d probably be dissected within a week." Luna stuck her tongue out, "Eww, what benefit would such a task bring?" I shrugged and put my arms behind my head. "Nothing, just humans being themselves. They make cool stuff, but they do bad things in the process most of the time." Luna’s ear twitched, and she looked up, "It’s time to wake, Kieran. Have a good day, little one." She gave me a nuzzle. I allowed her the satisfaction as the dream began to fade: "Bye Luna!" I woke up in the waking world. My eyes forced themselves open as I released a long yawn. It took my eyes a moment to adjust, and the first thing I saw was Cadance smiling. "Morning, sleepy," she said softly. As my consciousness returned, I realized she was sitting up in bed with me wrapped in a blanket. She was holding me towards her body as she used her magic to levitate a book in front of herself. I blushed wildly. "Morning Cadance," I muttered, my voice coming out odd as I sniffled to clear my nose. She giggled. "Did you know you drool when you sleep?" I blushed even more as I covered my face with the blanket. "Sorry, nobody’s home; ask again later." I said. "You know, a pacifier would fix that issue." Cadance teased. At once, I pulled the covers away from my face and glared. "Put one of those near my face, and I will end you!" I said defiantly. She giggled and pulled me in for a quick nuzzle. "I’m just playing, silly. How about we go get you some medicine and see what’s for breakfast?" She unwrapped me from the blanket, and I stretched my limbs as they touched the bed. "That sounds like a better idea." I replied with a smile. After breakfast, we were all lounging around the living room fireplace. The cold weather made the warmth all the sweeter. I was currently resting on the couch against Cadance’s side as I watched Flurry with a bemused expression as she played a game with Shining on the carpet below. "And… Miss Sugar said if I can… finish the beginner course." She breathed heavily in between bouts of trying to tag Shining. But shining was using a pillow to deflect the small filly with ease. "That I’ll be able to join the choir next year!" Cadance smiled as she looked up past her reading glasses as she held the newspaper. "That’s great, Flurry!" Flurry scrambled up onto the couch and wiggled her rump a few times before lunging overhead. But clearly Shining was a master at this game, as he perfectly balanced the filly in midair with the pillow. Even as she rapidly tried to swipe downward at his legs to tag him. Shining smirked up at her and asked, "And what about that book report for Mrs. Amber Light?" For a moment she stopped swiping and collapsed on the pillow with a groan. "Four paragraphs, but the book is sooo~ boring! I’d rather jump out a window." I huffed a laugh at that, saying, "I understand. And honestly, jumping out of a window isn’t that bad." Flurry smirked widely at me as Cadance glanced down with a raised brow, "If that bush hadn’t been there, you’d be a flat little pony pancake right now." She said, trying to hold her smile in, "And if either one of you jumps out another window, there’ll be no video games for an entire year… If you’re still around after the fact." "A year!?" Flurry said in astonishment as Shining poked her from behind. She whipped around, "Hey! That means you’re it!" Shining laughed, "Nope, you've gotta tag me. With your own two hooves!" As they played, I looked up at Cadance as she set aside her newspaper and reading glasses. "What’s school like in Equestria?" She pursed her lips, "First, you find a schoolhouse or teacher that teaches all three main subjects: Math, history, and language. Then, if you want, she can redirect you to certain extra classes you can take. Magic, music, sports, art, friendship… It’s a long list." "Got you!" Flurry called. "Get back here!" Shining laughed playfully. "Friendship is a class?" I asked her in surprise. Cadance giggled, "There’s a whole school of friendship. Because ponies used to not associate much with the other races, like griffons and changelings-" "There’s griffons?" I said with barely contained excitement as I put a hoof to my head, "This place is crazier by the second." I huffed. She nodded with a look of amusement. "You’ve still got a lot to learn, little one." I thought about it a bit more: "Am I going to the same school as Flurry?" Which seemed to make Flurry gasp in excitement from wherever she was hiding from Shining. Cadance hummed to herself, placing a hoof to her chin in thought, "I think… you might be better off with a private teacher." She looked at me comfortingly, "After all, history and language didn’t carry over between worlds. Math might have…" "What’s your number system like?" I asked curiously as a bit of dread crawled up my spine. "We use numbers one through nine. And it resets to one zero, or ten." She explained. An unprecedented sigh escaped my lips as I relaxed into the couch much more. "Okay, good." "You know it?" She wondered. I nodded. "I was hoping you ponies didn’t use a different set of numbers; that would’ve been a nightmare." "I bet it would." She agreed, saying, "Little things like that being different must be so scary, like losing the ability to read." She frowned a bit as she looked at me worriedly. "I could teach you history and language; I’ve never tried, but… it shouldn’t be too hard." I leaned into her side, "I’d like that." She hugged me tighter with her wing and nuzzled my head. "Got you again!" Shining teased. "No fair! Pick on someone your own size!" She called back. Shining came back to the couch, jumping up on my other side. He leaned down with a chuckle, "If she wants a fair fight, why don’t you show her who’s boss, Kieran?" I looked up at him and smirked, as we both seemed to agree. I jumped down onto the floor as Flurry rounded the corner. "Daddy, I’m gonna-" I ran to the other side of the couch and stuck my tongue out, "He tagged out; now it’s my turn to beat you." I said confidently. She raised her eyebrow and walked slowly. "Oh, really? Old man finally retired, huh?" "Hey…" Shining said a bit dejectedly from above us. As she approached she began to feel me out for how I liked to play tag. I was never the fastest, so I opted for more deception tactics. Making the tagger trip or become confused was always the best defense. Once she was close enough, she stared at me with squinted eyes before suddenly jabbing her hoof forward. I recoiled away and smirked at her; she did it again, and I dodged again. She lowered herself and stretched her wings. "Oh, it’s on!" She said. "Good luck!" I said as I bolted behind the couch. She giggled, "Get back here!" She ended up winning pretty handily at tag, but it was still a fun time. In the midst of me catching my breath while playing tag, there was a knock at the door to the living quarters. Flurry stopped just short of tackling me and looked up curiously with a head tilt before running over. I got up on my hooves and followed behind her slightly. Flurry grabbed hold of the door handle with her magic and opened it slowly. At the entrance were two guards wearing armor I’d yet to see. Most guards in the castle wore silver and white armor that looked like it hadn’t been scuffed since it was made. With Roman-esque helmets that forced their mane through the top. But these two were wearing much more ragged armor, made of leather and iron. It looked to be used much more than the other type. I vaguely recognized one of them as the earth pony guard, who had a scar over his eye. With dark brown fur and a red mane, his one good eye was brown, while his other was murky white and likely blind. He was super muscular compared to the other guards I’d seen; he looked like someone not to be messed with. The one next to him I didn’t immediately recognize. He was an average-looking unicorn guard, wearing just a bit shinier armor than the former. He had dark gray, almost black fur, and his mane was a mix of dark purple and lighter purple. Unlike his friend, he seemed to wear a permanent scowl. As the door opened, Flurry immediately lunged forward and hugged the brown one’s leg. "Bristle!" He chuckled, "Hello Flurry." He looked up at me, "And Kieran, how are you?" This was Sergeant Bristle, the one who answered the call on the crystal device yesterday. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment as I nodded, "Um... good, sir." He waved his hoof towards the darker pony and said, "This is my Corporal, Smoke Strike." The introduction seemed to be more of an annoyance to the unicorn than anything else: "Pleasure…" He seemed to force it out. Flurry smiled up at him, "Hey Smoky!" "I told you to stop calling me that," The unicorn said with a slight groan. Bristle looked around and asked, "Would you little ones happen to know where your parents are? We need to talk to Shining Armor." Flurry detached herself and ran a few feet away, "Oh, yes. I’ll go get Daddy! I think he’s in the bathroom." She bounded off, and Bristle’s eyes widened. "Wait, Flurry! It’s not that important!" He chuckled as he followed after her quickly. So I was left awkwardly sitting on the ground next to Smoke Strike. I felt sort of wary of him, just based on his permanent scowl and the frown he currently wore on his face. He looked considerably less annoyed when it came to Flurry, but now that it was just us… "Have you got something to say?" His abrupt and harsh voice said. I looked up at him in shock and shook my head quickly. "N-No sir…" "Then stop staring," He huffed. "You’d think that’d be the first bit of manners they’d teach you." He grumbled to himself, and for a second, I almost thought I caught him calling me an "impudent whelp" under his breath. It surprised me, but I guess not everyone in the lands of Equestria was entirely nice. I felt my anxiety heighten as I sat there, not wanting to be rude but rather wanting to change the subject. I looked up at him again, "So, what do you do in the guard?" I asked with genuine curiosity. "I’m a guard," he said, rolling his eyes. "We guard things." I averted my gaze as his intense look met mine. "Oh, yeah, of course…" I tapped one of my hooves nervously and asked, "W-What kind of things do you guard?" He growled quietly, "Frivolous and pointless things." I felt my heart sink lower by the second. "Oh, well, I think it’s a cool job." I said with a smile. "You didn’t act like it when you were calling my soldiers names in the streets." He replied with a snort. I lowered my head in shame, "I’m sorry." I had a hard time keeping my nerves under check now. "I didn’t hurt any of them too bad, did I?" He rolled his eyes again and said, "We’ve taken care of it. Now, are you done questioning me?" I felt his harsh gaze on my back as I nodded, and I felt my legs trembling. One of my legs seemed to move on its own, and I grabbed it with my other hoof. I really wanted to just run to Cadance and stay with her, but I’d never get anywhere being so reliant on others. ‘Come on, don’t be a baby.’ I scolded myself inwardly. I forced a fake smile onto my face, "The castle is really cool, don’t you think?" He held his head up higher and growled before lowering it to my level: "Listen, let me make myself perfectly clear, little filly." He spat. "I-I’m not a-" I began shakily. "You are." He cut me off quickly: "When a superior tells you to stop questioning them like an annoyance, you listen. Got it?" I recoiled from his harsh look of anger. "Y-Yes sir." I mumbled as I felt tears well up in my eyes. He jerked his head upward, "Run along now and work on your manners." He scoffed. I nodded rapidly and ran away from him and the doorway, my heart beating so quickly I thought my chest would pop. I searched around the house in a panic until I finally saw Cadance curled up in the living room with her book. I ran forward and jumped up; thankfully, Cadance’s reaction time was quick, as she caught me as I barreled into her chest. She set her book down and quickly wrapped me in a hug. "Kieran, honey, what’s wrong?" she asked in surprise. Not caring how she knew it was me and not Flurry, I finally let loose my tears into her chest fur. "One of the guards… h-he…" "He what, honey?" She asked with a bit of alarm. "He… scared me." I admitted quite hesitantly. She seemed to relax slightly. "Who was it? Bristle?" Cadance asked carefully. I shook my head. "His name was Smoke Strike." Cadance sighed deeply and seemed to grumble to herself, "I’ve told Shining time and time again to get his attitude in check. We’ve gotten complaints about him before. Smoke really doesn’t mean to look so off-putting and sound rude; he’s just not the nicest stallion at first." There was something about the way he talked to me specifically that felt a lot more personal and cruel. He hadn’t even talked that way to Flurry. Maybe it was all just my anxiety getting to me and making me think he was being ruder than he actually was. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d panicked from anxiety and overreacted. I’d done it last night when I thought they'd abandoned me. Cadance continued to hold me close and stroke my back. "I’ll tell Shining to talk to him about it again, alright? It’s okay, little one." I nodded and took in her warmth and embrace as my worries and fears washed away. Cadance was like a lifeline in a sea of confusion and scariness, and I didn’t care what it looked like as I nestled into her side as I calmed down. Her steady breathing against my body brought great comfort. Once Cadance was sufficiently happy with how much I’d calmed down, she brought her book back out and began reading. I closed my eyes and took it in for now. I felt myself drifting off, but it didn’t last long. Flurry came barreling into the living room, "Momma, have you seen- Oh, there he is!" "Flurry, please," Cadance sighed, "Speak a bit quieter, love. I think Kieran was trying to sleep." I hummed, "It’s okay." "I’m tired too," Flurry said as she hopped up on Cadance’s other side. "Momma, can we read that new book we started?" Cadance glanced down at me, and Flurry grew more excited. "Oh, can we start over so Kieran understands it? We were only like thirty chapters in!" Cadance giggled as she put her own book away again. "That's a wonderful idea, honey. Go grab it." She dashed off and, not much longer afterward, came back hovering a large book. The cover had three foals on some sort of adventure. Flurry handed it off and nestled close to Cadance’s other side. Cadance cleared her throat as she flipped it open and read, starting from the first page. "A dark and stormy night washed across the rocky mountain landscape, and a young intrepid foal…" Sunburst opened the door to the outside slowly, almost being knocked back inside by the heavy winds. Upon taking a step out, he let a shiver run through his body, the snow still reaching above his fetlocks. The sun was shining quite brightly today, which was melting the otherwise monstrous piles of snow on the sides of the street. It was weather like this that made Sunburst appreciate the fact he always wore a cloak. The frigid weather of the Crystal Empire always seemed so cold and harsh until he thought of his friends living here, which made a warmth grow in his body. He looked up towards the castle, illuminating the city. Like a beacon of hope in what would usually be considered a snowy wasteland. So he began his trek forward into the streets with a heavy breath of fresh air and… "Sunburst!!!" He halted in his tracks in alarm, dropping his saddlebag as he turned towards the voice in confusion. His mother, Stellar Flare, and father, Sunspot, were running up behind him. His mother spoke in offense: "You were just going to see Flurry and Cadance without taking us?" She quivered her lips playfully. Sunspot hung his head slightly and said, "He’s got better things to do this holiday without us, honey." Sunburst put a hoof to his face before releasing a short laugh and a huff. "If you wanted to come, you should’ve just told me." Stellar walked up to his side, "We thought it’d be obvious." She waited for a moment as Sunburst picked up his saddlebags, "Well, don’t keep the royal family waiting, dear." She urged him as she began to pull him along. When they arrived at the entrance, they were let in quite quickly, with a few guards recognizing Sunburst. Giving them a quick nod of appreciation, Sunburst took a rather familiar path inward through the castle. Looking around made him sigh, with old memories flooding his mind. "I will never get over how beautiful this place is." His mother chimed. Sunspot nodded in agreement, "Judging by Sunburst’s face, neither can he." Sunburst looked back momentarily and said, "Of course, this was my home for a while. But I am slightly more excited to see my friends." They got to the last long hallway and could see two guards leaving the home. As they neared, Sunburst smiled widely, "Sergeant Bristle!" Bristle stopped his conversation with Smoke Strike to look over in astonishment and ask, "Is that you, Sunburst?" He chuckled jovially as he walked up and patted his back, making Sunburst almost lose his glasses. "I haven’t seen you in forever." Sunburst laughed and fixed his vision: "Yes, it’s been quite a long time." He turned and gestured to his parents, "These are my parents, Sunspot and Stellar Flare. Mom, Dad, this is Bristle. The best royal guard in the kingdom." "Pleasure," Bristle said with a bowed head. Smoke cleared his throat. "At least wait until I’m gone before saying these things." Smoke held a look of amusement. Bristle laughed even harder. "Smoke, you’ve got big horseshoes to fill if you replace me." He said while patting his back. Smoke barely held himself up from the force: "Yes, well, that’s what you’re here to train me for." "Anyhow, what’s got you back in the castle?" Bristle asked. Sunburst hummed, "I’m not sure if it’s confidential information, but the short version is that I’m here to examine Kieran." Bristle nodded his head heavily, "Oh, of course." He smiled. Sunburst watched as Smoke turned his head away from everyone. Not before seeing his small smile turn into a large grimace. "Well, I’ll leave you to it. Was nice seeing you." Bristle commented before trotting off. "You too…" Sunburst spoke slowly, raising an eyebrow at the sudden mood shift of his compatriot. He sensed something in that moment about the unicorn’s magic, shifting into a more hostile feeling. Only a small amount of which caused Sunburst’s spine to chill. His concentration was cut as his mother grabbed him by the hoof again, "You’re staring off into space again, honey, and we’re only a few paces away from the door." He looked back forward as if suddenly coming out of a trance. "Huh? Oh yes, of course." But something about the stallion stuck in his mind; he didn’t like the sudden dark emotion behind his magic. And it flared up at such a peculiar time. Of course, it could’ve just been the guard thinking he noticed something fishy, Sunburst admitted inwardly. But hostility of that degree, so sudden, usually had a relatable cause. His thoughts ran rampant as he knocked on the large door, only to be met with a gasp and a pink filly barreling into his chest at incredible speed, knocking him back onto his flank. "Sunburst!" The filly squealed. That cry of joy made him forget his previous thoughts as he hugged the filly back. "Hiya," he chimed back with a small chuckle. > 9 - Thaumaturgy > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Sunburst!! What are you doing here?!" The pink filly yelled excitedly as she nuzzled into him ceaselessly. Sunburst laughed and worked to pull the filly off himself, at least enough to allow him to stand once again. "Well, you knew I was coming for hearth’s warming; I’m not too early, I hope." Flurry rapidly shook her head as Stellar Flare pushed her way past her son, saying, "Oh, you’ve grown so much!" Flurry excitedly went for a hug with Stellar and Sunspot before backing up and grabbing Sunburst’s hoof. "Come on!" Shining joined up with the group as they made their way into the living room, and Sunburst gave him a wide-eyed look before smiling with a chuckle. "Nice beard Shining." He said this while examining his friend’s modest beard. Shining seemed to blush a bit, but he coughed awkwardly to hide it. "Yep, well um… Cadance liked it, so I kept it." Sunburst nodded. "A few more years, and it might be as magnificent as my own." He teased him. Shining chuckled: "I don’t intend to grow one that long." It wasn’t long before they reached the living room, and Cadance approached with a welcoming smile, "Hi! How is everyone?" Stellar Flare smiled, "Oh, just wonderful, dear." Sunspot nodded in agreement. Sunburst smiled and bowed his head lightly before walking over and giving Cadance a large hug. "Good, I hope the same has been for you." Sunburst said. Cadance released a small nod, "Yes, we’ve been quite well. If a little busy." She gestured down to her left, where an identical copy of Flurry stood. The foal gave a small head tilt before waving his hoof awkwardly. Sunburst realized he was staring at him uncomfortably, and he quickly gave out a greeting. "Hi there, Kieran, is it?" Kieran looked up in curiosity as he seemed to scan the stallion first before nodding his head, "Yes sir." Sunburst laughed lightly and said, "Don’t say sir, it makes me feel old. I prefer Sunburst." Flurry giggled from nearby: "Yeah, his name is Sunny!" Kieran’s expression almost seemed relieved at that moment, and he nodded with a smile, "Sure thing. It’s nice to meet you, Sunburst." "Likewise," he replied. Sunburst could barely help but stare at the foal; it was just so fascinating. He found himself looking between Flurry and Kieran multiple times, trying to make sense of it all. Cadance noticed and whispered quietly, "It’s remarkable, isn’t it?" Sunburst gave her a very serious yet unsure look, "That’s putting it way too lightly, my friend." He laughed nervously. Flurry finished regaling Sunburst’s parents with tales of school and bounded over, slinging her free hoof around Kieran’s neck. "Before you ask, I have no idea how I did it." Flurry said before looking up with a smirk, "But now there are two of the cutest foals around!" She declared. The remark worried Cadance as she looked at Kieran for his reaction, but he seemed to giggle slightly at it himself, which eased her worries. Kieran hummed, "So who are you? If you don’t mind me asking." Kieran asked curiously. "You look like a wizard. Like a pony version of Merlin or something." Cadance and Sunburst both laughed, and Sunburst waved his hoof dismissively, saying, "I’m not quite as powerful as those old fantasy stories of Marelin. But I do study magic quite extensively, since I’m not that great at casting magic." Kieran nodded as Flurry practically pushed Kieran out of the way in disbelief. "You’re selling yourself short, Sunny! You know more about magic than most alicorns!" Sunburst laughed, "And you might be overselling me." There was a longer pause, and Cadance’s smile faltered a bit. "Should we get to it?" Sunburst saw the worry on her features as he began to understand how important this was to her. Yet when he looked at Kieran, the foal seemed rather indifferent to the whole ordeal. That was until he opened his mouth again and asked, "Is this about me?" It was a simple question, but Sunburst noted that he was rather defensive in his tone. Sunburst smiled to try and ease his worry: "Cadance here recruited me to see if we can figure out what’s going on with your magic." Kieran’s eyes widened a bit, and he hummed, "Oh." He seemed a little upset as he looked up at Cadance. "I thought you said there was nothing wrong with me?" Cadance’s heart stopped for a moment in realization, and she laid on the floor to look him in the eyes. She leaned in and stroked the foal’s hair gently, "There isn’t anything wrong with you; I just want to make sure you’re as safe as possible." Kieran did lean into her hoof with an unsure expression. The foal seemed to look between Sunburst and Cadance decisively and say, "If you think it will help," He mumbled quietly. Cadance tried to read his emotions in that moment, but they were quickly buried again as the foal looked up at Sunburst. "What kind of things are we doing?" "You? Not very much." Sunburst began. "We’ll be doing an extra thorough scan of your body and a few other simple tests. Don’t worry, they’re not bad at all." Kieran smirked. "Will you teach me magic?" Sunburst hummed and looked at Cadance playfully. "I don’t know… Magic is reeeallly dangerous for foals!" Flurry huffed loudly. "No, it’s not," she demonstrated her point by lighting her horn and picking up Sunburst. "See? You've got to teach me something cool!" Sunburst quickly countered it with his own magic and floated down to the floor gracefully, saying, "I’ve seen what you’ve done since you were a baby, and I must reiterate, magic is dangerous." Cadance sighed and dropped her head into her hoof. "Flurry, this is about Kieran. Not you learning new spells." Sunburst laughed, "Plus, last time you experimented with magic, you cloned yourself." Flurry growled and grabbed his hoof, beginning to drag Sunburst along. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on, we can use my room! I have a desk and everything for the operation table!" "Operation!?" An alarmed Shining remarked as he was shocked out of his conversation. But soon realized the joke as Flurry began laughing loudly. Kieran stared after them in silence, and Cadance nuzzled the back of his head, breaking him out of his stupor. "It’ll be alright." Kieran turned and smiled at her, "I know; I trust you, Cadance." He said this before leaning forward and giving her a short nuzzle. Her heart melted a bit, but Kieran backed away with a large blush, as if he were surprised by his own actions, before running to catch up with the other two. Cadance watched the three leave with her gaze fixed on him. Kieran seemed to be a bit lost in thought, yet eager at the same time. She wondered what was going through his mind. Her worry was interrupted as Stellar Flare entered her gaze. "Darling! How have you been?" I trailed behind Flurry and Sunburst with a bit of apprehension. On one hoof, figuring out what was wrong would help me immensely, and I wanted to be rid of the problem as soon as possible. On the other hoof, the negative side of me kept saying weird experiments might make this odd copy magic end, sending me back out into the careless void. Cadance… had lied to me. She knew as well as I did that there was something wrong with my magic. I know blowing up your horn isn’t right. I know hooves aren’t supposed to hurt. That I should be able to feel my wings on my back with ease. I was an alicorn; supposedly, everything should’ve been completely natural. But it wasn’t, because something was wrong with me, just like all the other things that were currently wrong with me. But I didn’t blame Cadance; it wasn’t a malicious lie, and whether she was saying it more to convince herself or to ease my own thoughts didn’t matter. She didn’t want me to think something was wrong with myself. I huffed, ‘It’s not her fault; I just need to figure it all out,’ I thought with a sigh, shaking the negative emotions as far from my mind as possible. I sighed outwardly, looking up at Sunburst and his leisurely gait. Sunburst was hard to read. Cadance trusted him, though, and Flurry clearly loved him; he seemed to be an old family friend. Especially by the way that Flurry pranced along his side, engaging with him in conversation. I had to admit that he was kind of cool. The cloak, the beard, the glasses, and the book strapped to his bags. I understood why he was held in such high regard; he was a wise and experienced wizard of the highest degree. Even the alicorns looked up to him when it came to matters involving magic; that thought alone was intense. What sort of magic did he know about? Was he still powerful enough as a wizard to put any RPGs I played in my past life to shame? I stared at Sunburst in slight awe for a few more moments before a hint of jealousy overcame me. ‘Man, I want a cool cloak,’ I thought rather childishly with a huff. ‘Maybe if I get my own body, I can be a cool wizard too. Though Flurry already has me beat, she was like… a level ten necromancer already. I’ll catch up someday.’ My hopes were high, but the promise was likely hollow. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Being stuck in a world that had all the makings of a cool video game was great, if I wasn’t currently playing on that one difficulty that starts with nothing but a loincloth and their fists. I was probably weaker than a newborn earth pony at the moment, in comparison. Not that I was really planning any great adventures anytime soon, but the big ‘what if’ that sat in my mind was tantalizing. Who wouldn’t want to go on an adventure some day? Flurry opened her door widely in a presentative way before giggling and bounding in excitedly. Sunburst looked around with a short chuckle, "Not much changes in here then, huh?" He teased before giving her a raised brow. "At least you still seem to be into art!" Flurry nodded briskly as she levitated her artbook out and haphazardly tossed it his way. I ducked to dodge it, but Sunburst caught it without incident and flipped through to scan the pages with a wide smile, "Wow, you’ve really improved!" He praised her. Flurry smiled back at him and said, "Thanks!" She suddenly affixed me with a playful glare: "You, patient, over here on the double!" I huffed a bit and smirked, "Oh, but I’m terribly hurt! How can you expect me to walk all the wa-" She hadn’t even let me finish my act before she picked me up with ease in her magic aura and put me down in the chair in just a second or two. Flurry giggled and rested her hooves on the arm of the chair. "How’s that for hospitable service?" She asked. I stared forward at nothing in particular and mumbled, after shaking the weird feeling of magic away, "I feel violated." Sunburst laughed at her as he came over, then adopted a more scolding tone: "Flurry, please don’t scare my patient." He emphasized, "You’re only my assistant." Flurry released a huff and crossed her forelegs with a short nod. I watched intently as Sunburst pulled his saddlebags off with his magic, and he levitated over a small pouch for himself. He pursed his lips in thought before reaching his hoof in. My eyes immediately widened, watching his hoof disappear an inconceivable distance into the tiny pouch. And they widened even more as he began to pull out objects that would quickly grow up to their original much larger size. Far bigger than something befitting the size of the bag. Contraptions, of which none I recognized, but some were quite complicated-looking. "Whoa…" I muttered under my breath. Sunburst smirked at us as he pulled a few more things out: "Magical artifact; I call it the pouch of possession." I held a hoof over my mouth as I released a sharp snort of laughter. He looked over curiously and asked, "What… stupid name?" I waved my hoof, "No, no. I like it. What’s the rest of this stuff?" I asked, avoiding the question. Distracted easily by the question, he moved between each device. "We have a thaumic energy capacitor, a radial leyline scanner, you know, basic stuff…" I raised my brows at that as he continued onto a few other things: "Then I have a magic equalizer, a thaumic polarizer, and finally a spell refactor." I nodded my head slowly, "Yep… Makes no sense. Cool magic thingies." Flurry giggled and leaned into my ear, "Don’t worry, he has tried explaining them to me, and I still don’t understand." Sunburst then levitated out a short stool from the bag and set it in front of me. Sitting on his haunches, he brought out a notepad and pencil as well. "So, let’s begin with what you do know. And what you’ve done so far involving your magic." I nodded shortly, "Let’s see… Magic is cool, and it comes from the horn and the hooves? It hurts to use, and I blow myself up every time I use magic." Sunburst nodded a few times, "Mhm… yeah." He paused for a minute as he stared at his notepad, then he looked up at me with a serious look. "That’s not supposed to happen." I stared incredulously as Flurry thankfully voiced my own opinion, "No duh." She huffed. Sunburst pursed his lips, reached into his bag again, and pulled out a small plaque. Just from a short glance, I could tell it was a flowchart of sorts, and I tilted my head as Sunburst cleared his throat. "I think I should start with the very basics of thaumaturgy." My eyes widened as a giddy expression spread across my face. "Really?" He nodded as Flurry groaned, "That’s for babieeess!" she drawled. I looked over at her as she sat on her bed. "I might as well be a baby; other than talking, I really can’t read, eat by myself, fly, or do magic…" Sunburst nodded, "He’s got a point, Flurry; everyone starts somewhere." "I know, I just want to see if that would tick Sunburst off." Flurry replied quickly as she stuck her tongue out. Sunburst rolled his eyes with an amused sigh, pushing his glasses up and locking eyes with me. He adorned a smile once again and asked a question: "Where do you think magic first starts?" I hummed, "I would say horn, but it kind of feels like it comes from somewhere else? Like deeper in my body?" He nodded. "Exactly. Each pony has a reserve of magic deep inside them. Simply called "thaumic energy", though "magic" as a label will more than suffice." I nodded as he pointed towards the picture on the plaque. It reminded me of those posters doctors would have up in the hospital. But it was just an arrow pointing towards the center of a pony with the word "magic". He moved his hoof down the flowchart, "And what exactly do ponies use magic for?" I hummed, "Well, unicorns can levitate stuff and cast spells; pegasus can manipulate clouds; and alicorns can do all of those? We also use magic to grab things?" "You’re forgetting one," Sunburst said with a short smirk. "Oh," I replied with a huff as I scraped my memory, "Earth ponies? I've already described them, right? They can only use hoof magic?" Both Flurry and Sunburst gave me a tentative shake of the head, and my eyes widened. Sunburst explained before I had time to ask. "Earth ponies can channel their magic through leylines to their own limbs, making them by far the strongest of the three races." "So, like super strength? Like a superhero?" I muttered mostly to myself in curiosity. Sunburst pulled out another plaque with more explanation of the three races, pointing at it with a hoof in excitement. "Not only that, but they tend to have a connection with the lands of Equestria themselves. That’s why so many of them are farmers; they have a naturally green hoof." He explained. I nodded and looked up. "So I have that power too?" It looked as if he didn't want to give me a definitive answer to that. "We hope," he answered truthfully. "And your description of the other two races wasn’t wrong, but there’s more to it than it seems." Flurry nodded eagerly, "Yeah! Pegasus don’t just move clouds; they can also control the weather and make the air flow in whatever way they want! Though, it’s mostly to help themselves fly." She answered excitedly. Sunburst nodded. "And unicorns don’t just levitate and cast spells, though those are our main strengths…" He cleared his throat as I listened attentively. "Each unicorn has an affinity for something. Whether that be certain elements or a type of magic. Such as abjuration, evocation, conjuration, enchantment, divination, illusion, trasnmutation-" "Sunburst…" Flurry cut him off with a groan, "Newbie over here, he won’t get all that." "Oh," Sunburst said with a sudden moment of realization. "Sorry. The point is that unicorns usually develop some sort of affinity for one or more types of magic. It’s all much more advanced, so you shouldn’t worry about that for now." He reassured me. My smile was probably wide enough to creep someone out if I were anywhere else except equestria and their likeness for smiles. "What’s your affinity, Sunburst?" I asked as I leaned in closer. Sunburst blushed and worked to cover his face. "Oh, I… of course you’d want to uh… know that…" He seemed to mumble a bit to himself, beginning to pay no attention to me. "Sunburst?" I said with a bit of worry. He fixed his gaze back on me with nervousness, "Oh! Yes… Well… My affinity is…" He started with a confident smile, which slowly fell as he released a long sigh: "I don’t have… one." He muttered. My eyes widened, and I felt a bit of guilt for asking. Flurry’s ears flopped to the side of her head as she trotted over and put her hoof on his side. "Sunny…" She sighed sadly. "That’s not true." Sunburst gave her a sad smile, and a sigh escaped his mouth. "It is… and I’ve gone my whole life trying to pretend it’s not." He replied, "I love magic… I’ve spent my life learning so many things about it, I just… hate admitting that I can never do it much myself." The emotions covering his face were complicated, but even I could see how genuine his words were. And it hurt to hear that the thing he spent his entire life on was something he wasn’t perfect at or even good at. It put Sunburst in a new perspective for me, and I found myself respecting him even more. Being so important to the alicorns, even with no natural talent… "I don’t think that’s true." I said defiantly. Sunburst and Flurry both looked at me in surprise, and Sunburst sighed, "Thank you, but… I’m nothing special, really. I just read a lot of spellbooks and ancient… things." He said with an awkward laugh. "No no." I quickly cut him off, "Maybe your affinity is special. I mean, you know so much about spells that even the alicorns look to you for guidance. That has to count for something, right?" I reminded him. He smirked slightly, but I could see he was unconvinced. "So I’ve been told… I’ve never seen much specialty in it myself, however." Sunburst trailed off as he looked up and into my eyes. I smiled and said, "I mean, you’re here to help me. And I think that’s pretty cool at least, for whatever it’s worth." Sunburst sighed and adorned a large smile. "Thank you; it certainly helps to have a reminder every now and again." He sighed as the last vestiges of his sadness dissipated. "You remind me of Starlight; you sound just like her." Flurry giggled, "You should've brought her!" Sunburst scoffed, "I would’ve if I could’ve!" He countered playfully. "Who is she?" I asked curiously. Sunburst’s smile crept back in: "My wife, and the headmistress of the school of friendship." "Nice." I said with a smirk back. But all that was going through my mind was questioning what a school of friendship was. And why it existed. Sunburst’s eyes suddenly widened, and he became flustered, putting his hoof to his forehead, "Oh, this really wasn’t supposed to be about me at all. This is about helping you out, Kieran. Cadance will have my head if I don’t begin…" He said this with a huff as he began connecting things with his gadgets. "It’s alright; now I trust you a bit more with whatever these monstrosities are whenever they come near me." I muttered while giving them a weary look. I then had a few more long, drawn-out conversations about the machines and what they did. But half of it was far too advanced for my minimal understanding of thaumaturgy and all that. I learned that each pony has a series of connections inside themselves called "leylines" and that alicorns specifically have the most, unsurprisingly. Through the use of many devices, we deduced that my body had the correct amount of leylines for an alicorn. That my leylines were indeed working and that I do have a magic reserve inside my body. So by all reasoning, I should’ve been fine and dandy! Well, that wasn’t exactly true, but I should’ve been close to it! Sunburst thought that my way of casting must’ve been wrong, but when he taught me the "correct" way, nothing happened except my usual smoke cloud explosion and a now-aching horn that he apologized profusely for. Throughout all of this, Sunburst had been recording every bit of data he could. Occasionally, he’d make a face or raise a brow. But for the most part, he was just as confused as us. It was an hour or two later when Cadance entered the room, levitating a couple of drinks, which she generously provided. Though it seemed she’d done so as an excuse to see how everything was going, "Is… he okay?" She asked carefully, looking down at my splayed-out body as I was attached to about four machines in total. I held my hoof up as I stared at the ceiling in boredom. "Never been better… Actually, nevermind, I have…" I said the last bit under my breath. Sunburst was deep in thought and in what I would call "focus mode" when he glanced at his side, "He’s okay. It just… doesn’t make sense." Cadance stared for a while longer as the machines made various beeps and humming sounds. I stared enviously at Flurry, who’d gotten bored and retreated to the corner of the room to play video games. Cadance gave me a reassuring smile before looking at him tentatively, "So… he’ll be okay. Right?" She urged for a more definitive answer. Sunburst finished scribbling something new into his notes before he sighed, set it down, and gave her his full attention. "His leylines are perfect, his magic is in there, and his technique for casting is correct." He sighed as he searched for his words. "But..?" Cadance said knowingly with a worried expression. Sunburst grimaced: "But the way his own body reacts to the magic is… worrying. It’s almost completely rejecting it. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that it’s almost punishing Kieran for trying to cast it." This immediately alarmed Cadance, as her eyes widened and her wings flared out a bit. "W-What? Why?" She said quite quickly. Sunburst just shook his head slowly, "It’s simply an observation, Cadance; I’m not saying that’s what is happening. Just that it seems that way." Sunburst sighed and rubbed his head. "If I only had Starlight or Twilight here, I could do so much more testing." He scrambled his hair a bit. Cadance leaned in and hugged him. "I know; thank you for trying so hard still." She told him. "Yeah, I mean… at least we know it isn’t something super bad now, like a problem with leylines. I wasn’t casting any spells anytime soon anyway." I reassured him. Sunburst stayed quiet for a minute, a long minute. "I could always take him with me…" He offered slowly, and Cadance looked at him in shock as he explained. "If I were to leave with Kieran, Starlight and Twilight would be more than willing to assist." His offer was nonchalant as he continued to work on his machines. Cadance stayed quiet, looking at me for a long moment. We locked eyes, and I could see she wasn’t ready to let me leave but wouldn’t stop me if I agreed. And to be perfectly honest, I’d much rather stay with Cadance now, so I answered Sunburst quickly, "I think I’d rather stay… Thanks for the offer, though." Sunburst smirked but didn’t look up from his notepad. "That’s fair; they’ll be here next week anyway. The world is already confusing as it is, I bet. Best not throw in unnecessary travel." Cadance released what seemed to be a relieved sigh and leaned down to nuzzle me once before retracting, "Well, are there any other theories, Sunburst?" He pursed his lips and glanced up. "Let’s see, leylines, magic reserves, casting, and…" His eyes widened as some sort of epiphany must’ve come to him. He began unplugging me from the many machines as I stared at him with a raised eyebrow. From behind him, Cadance seemed alarmed at his sudden actions. Sunburst explained himself quicker than we could ask: "I just had a thought. Up until now, we’ve only had your body attempt to channel magic through normal means, using your own free will." This was starting to sound like mad scientist stuff now. He huffed as he pulled out another machine from deep within the bag. "But we’ve never attempted to make your body use magic through forced means. Esentially, I’m going to make your body cast a spell without any of your own effort needing to be put in." Cadance reached her hoof out and said, "Sunburst, I-I don’t know if that’s a good-" "There!" He interrupted loudly with a smirk as the machine was set out. "Now, I just need you to put this over your horn," He offered me a sort of suction cup that would rest over my horn. "And stare at this device right here." He said this, pointing at the odd crystal device that had some sort of screen on it. "Sunburst," Cadance said weakly, with a bit more urgency. Sunburst was completely lost in his own thoughts as he pulled his notepad back out and pursed his lips. He looked up at me, "Ready, Kieran?" Even Flurry was interested again as she wandered back over with curiosity. I felt a bit of nervousness bubbling up inside of me and glanced over at Cadance, who was lost in the choice of whether to stop this before it started or not. However, seeing as I’d like to stop whatever was affecting me as soon as possible, I gave Cadance a reassuring smile and gave him my answer. "Let’s try it." I said with a smirk. Sunburst smirked back and nodded, leaning forward and flipping a switch as Cadance gritted her teeth. The device hummed to life with a soft, low tune before the screen-like device lit up in front of me. At first, it started off as a bunch of blue lines on a screen, and the device started to get louder, as if it were revving up like an engine. I began to feel some sort of pull from deep within me, leading straight to my horn. Slowly, the lines on the screen began to form a sort of circle, and after a few moments, the configuration was complete. And for some reason, without any room to argue, my brain knew it was a spell sigil. For that singular moment, I knew how to cast this spell, and I could feel my horn begin to hum to life as it attempted to recreate this spell sigil in reality. I felt completely out of control of my body as it went through these motions. I tunnel-visioned the sigil, like I was hypnotized. My senses were hyper-focused on the sigil, and for a moment, I thought I could hear the sigil speaking to me. But that sounded like lunacy, even in the moment. But I certainly felt it calling to me, forcing me to cast a spell I didn’t know. Up until then, Sunburst was seemingly unfazed by what was going on. But from behind the machine, a loud beep sounded, and he looked at the screen. His eyes widened, and his brow furrowed at it. "What’s going on?" Cadance asked worriedly. Her voice was muffled; not only was my hearing getting muffled, but my vision began to get blurry around the edges as well. Making sure that the only thing I could see was the magic symbol. All of a sudden, something felt wrong, as if I’d failed. My focus on the sigil washed away along with the rest of my senses. The lines forming the sigil on the screen began to warp in my vision, and my head started spinning. It was then that I finally began to notice it… ..the pain. It was unbearable. It started as a searing edge that embedded itself deep inside my body. The leylines up to my horn were in pure pain, like barbed wire rubbing the inside of your nerves. But my body was still not my own; I couldn’t scream or beg for help. So I had to fight through the pain and force my body back into my own control as my breathing became heavy. I panted loudly in panic. "Something is wrong!" Cadance told Sunburst worriedly. I finally wrenched my vision away from the screen, my body coming back into my control with a loud grunt of effort. Obviously, the first thing that I did was collapse and scream in pain. Even if I wanted to reach up and disconnect myself, I couldn’t think straight enough to do so. And the pain was so suffocating that I immediately lost my ability to vocalize after letting only a moment of screaming out. I doubled over in pain as all my senses abandoned me. I didn’t know what was happening. Only that the device on my head and my magic were having a fist fight in my body, and my body was losing terribly. But that second of screaming I released was enough, as Sunburst managed to stop it in an instant, and Cadance ripped the device off my horn. In an instant, the pain in my horn dissipated as if it were never there, and I found myself cradled against something fluffy and soft. I could guess that it was Cadance, but I couldn’t see, hear, or smell; I could barely think. It reminded me of my time in the dark void of death. And I knew that I’d begun shivering at that exact thought. And the idea of being alone in that darkness again terrified me. I gripped Cadance harshly, even as my senses returned to me at a snail’s pace. I began to hear the faint voice of her in my ears: "K…ran!" "...ieran! Sp…k… me!" I buried my head in her chest and started crying. I felt her hold onto me even tighter as I mumbled, "I… didn’t like that." Was all I managed to huff out. She gently stroked the back of my head for a while, and I could certainly feel her rocking me. Which helped a lot to soothe me after that awful experience I’d just gone through. Eventually, voices became more clear, and there were a lot of them. I raised my head to look around, my vision blurry but slowly improving. "What happened?" I said this with deep confusion as everyone was in the room. Cadance nuzzled me, "It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here." She reassured me softly. Once my eyes focused again, I finally saw both Shining and Cadance hovering over my face with intense worry. I stopped gasping for breath as I locked eyes with her. "Cadance?" I asked in confusion. She breathed a loud sigh of relief and pulled me closer in another tight hug, "Thank Faust… Oh thank you…" She muttered under her breath as she nuzzled me. "What happened?" I vocalized again, worried. My voice was hoarse. "Everything started to hurt, and I couldn’t see or hear anymore. I lost all my senses." I mumbled as my body shook more. "Oh honey," Cadance cried as tears dripped down over my shoulder, "it’s okay, you’re okay now. I’ve got you." My ability to comprehend what had just happened was hazy, sort of like when you just wake from a dream and can only remember certain parts. But all I knew was that there was a lot of pain, and it felt like it lasted for far too long. Sunburst stammered panickedly from nearby, "I’m so, so sorry! Terribly sorry!" He apologized loudly, "That was not supposed to happen! I assure you!" He defended. "Honey, what did you do to Kieran?" I heard Stellar Flare reprimand him,which sparked an argument with his parents. I felt a small hoof on my shoulder and glanced over, still only barely getting back to my senses. It was Flurry. She had an intensely worried look. "Kieran? Are you okay?" I gave her a short smile, "I think so, surprisingly." I replied with a short giggle. Those words must’ve soothed Cadance a little too, and she breathed a sigh of relief before loosening her grip on me. She shot Sunburst a furious glare that even terrified me. "What happened, Sunburst? He was screaming in pain!" She reminded him angrily as she shielded me protectively with her wings. I hummed nervously, "I told him to do it; don’t yell at him, please, Cadance. He’s just trying to help." I said quietly before rubbing my head to ease the dizziness. Shining nodded in agreement with me as he stood up and looked between both parties. "Everyone, please take a deep breath." Cadance calmed herself with a small sigh and gave a more understanding yet unhappy look. "What did your machine do to Kieran?" She asked. Sunburst sighed, "In a regular foal," He paused to think, "That machine would’ve simply made him cast a small spell that lowers the temperature in the room a bit." Stellar Flare glared at her son. "That doesn’t look like a weather spell to me, Sunburst," she huffed at him. He sighed, "I know. The warning on the screen informed me that the spell was failing, right before his horn acted on its own and caused him immense pain." Shining sighed greatly as he rubbed his temple. "Okay, so, what does that mean?" "I have… no idea." Sunburst replied truthfully. The room sat in silence for a long time. The experiment had gone wrong, and the only one who understood it didn’t even know what had happened. The mood in the room shifted from one of anger to pure confusion as everyone thought to themselves. Sunburst finally walked over and bowed his head greatly, "Please forgive me. If I had known-" "Forgiven." I told him quickly, "Just never let that thing into my head again." I replied with a worried look. He looked up at me and nodded before looking up a bit farther into Cadance’s face. It was hard to read, but after a moment of deliberation, she sighed and leaned forward to nuzzle Sunburst. "I trust that you know what you’re doing and that you wouldn’t have hurt Kieran purposefully." She retracted a bit and looked into his eyes. "Just please… figure out what is wrong with all the data you collected." Sunburst nodded with a small smile, "The positive of this is that the machine managed to collect a bunch of data I don’t quite understand. I’ll take the data straight to Starlight and Twilight. I’m sure they could help substantially in the search for answers." There was another long silence as Cadance continued to soothe me. Even if she didn’t need to, I still felt very appreciative of her calming touch. At some point Stellar forced Sunburst and her husband out of the room, and it was just us four. Shining sat back down and gave me a sympathetic look, "Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out, buddy." He said this before stroking my head. Flurry stood up and looked at me, "You are okay now, right?" I smirked. "For a dead kid? Yeah, feeling okay." She snorted and held her head up higher. "Good, no minion of mine would be taken out that easily." "Since when did I become your minion?" I asked with a raised brow. "Just now," she said with a wide smile. Cadance sighed with a short laugh, "Alright, Flurry. That’s enough." My stomach growled, and I looked up sheepishly and asked, "Can we… eat something?" All three of them laughed, and Shining hummed, "How about lunch in the garden?" He asked as he stood up. Flurry jumped around excitedly, "Oh yes! Pretty pretty please, momma?" Cadance looked between us and nodded, "Okay." Then she gave me a stern look, "But I’m having a nurse check on you before you go." I waved my hoof, "Fine with me." Flurry hopped up onto Shining’s back excitedly and began pulling on his ears. "H-Hey! Quit that." Shining said with a chuckle. Shining and her got into a short fight as he tried to pull her off his head. Cadance giggled and turned her attention back down to me, pulling me up close to her barrel in yet another hug. "I love you, Kieran." My ears perked up as I looked at her in surprise. "H-Huh? Where’d… that come from?" I asked with confusion. She smiled and booped my muzzle, "From me, just because I wanted you to know." She rested her head over mine, and I relaxed in the embrace. I guess it wasn’t a stretch for the alicorn of love to say they loved you. But it felt a bit more personal than that, and a warm feeling rose in my chest. "Oh," I muttered as I sat there both awkwardly and also happy, "Th-Thank you. I.. lo-" "Come on, momma! Hurry up!" Flurry shouted from atop Shining, who had relented to her game and allowed her to stay up on his back. Cadance giggled and levitated me onto her back as well. "We’re coming." She replied calmly. Shining and his family joined back up with us for the picnic. And the nurse found nothing wrong after a quick checkup. She was more interested in why I’d gone to see her three times in a span of barely two days. But I guess magic is completely off the table for now. Enough to the point that Cadance and Sunburst essentially grounded me from it. No grabbing or anything was going to be awful, but at least I had help. Magic sounded cool and looked cool, and I really wouldn’t mind being a mage someday. In fact, my fascination had only grown during the entire experience. However, I’d have to wait on that since magic didn’t seem to like me. I sighed inwardly as I thought back on the sigil and the sudden, piercing pain that shot through me. ‘But why don’t you like me?’ I thought to myself angrily, staring up at my horn with a huff. > 10 - Normal People Things > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was heavily confused when, after agreeing to have lunch in the garden, we went up instead of down. Though when I thought about it I hadn’t seen anything resembling a garden below the castle anyhow. It wasn’t surprising since the entire castle was elevated by massive leg structures. I imagined the castle being the last thing left if a flood swallowed the entire world. Stellar Flare looked giddy as we walked the long hallway. "Oh, I’m excited; I’ve never gotten to see your rooftop garden, dear.” Cadance nodded with a large smile. “Well, me and Flurry have been working on it since she was so small. A lot of care has been put into it.” Flurry sat backwards from Shining’s back and lifted her head proudly. “I dare say it’s the best garden in the empire!” Sunburst laughed and nudged her. “You know there isn’t much competition for that.” Flurry glared at him but forgot quickly as we got so close to the large door. Shining’s magic enveloped it, and we stepped out. I leaned around Cadance to see my surroundings; she giggled and held her wings up farther to keep me more stable. We weren’t at the highest point of the castle, but on the roof of the main portion of the castle. The first thing I noticed was how surprisingly warm it was. And upon looking around, I got a sight I was not quite used to. Being stuck in the snowy, barren landscape of the Crystal Empire and its surroundings meant I’d never really seen any of this world’s native flora. I mean, I had shown up in the middle of winter as well, which didn’t help my chances. It was the first time I’d seen so many colors and bugs. It was similar to a greenhouse with its sheer quantity of densely packed nature. Cadance looked back at my astonished face and smirked. “The roof up here has a weather spell implanted into the castle itself. It requires a charge every once in a while, but it stays beautiful up here year-round.” She explained. Flurry jumped off her father’s back and rushed over to many plants to inspect them, mumbling to herself in the process as she looked at their individual parts. Cadance rolled her eyes playfully. “She’s named every single one. She’s diligent; I’ll give her that.” She told me quietly. Suddenly she was in front of us once again: "Kieran, get down here! I want to show you around!” Cadance raised her brow as the adults began setting up at the picnic table and bringing out a basket. “After lunch, there’s no rush, Flurry. He’s not going anywhere.” “We hope,” I said a bit pessimistically, but I covered it with a smile. “Nope,” Cadance said whilst continuing to walk, “we’re not even going to entertain that idea.” She warned me. We reached the picnic table, and I was deposited between her and Shining, with Flurry hopping up on my right. Flurry stood with her hooves on the table and said, “Oh, oh daddy, I want my favorite. You know the one!” Shining smirked, “Right away, my princess.” He said it with a haughty tone as he bowed. Flurry giggled as Shining looked up at me. “And what about you, Kieran? Whatcha like on your sandwich, bud?” I suddenly felt a bit flustered, but I managed an answer. “Um… the first one you gave me… the first time.” Cadance leaned down. “Oh? My favorite kind?” She looked up at Shining with a smirk and said, “Guess we’ve finally proved which of ours is superior, honey. One more, please.” Shining raised a brow and kept his head held high, “Remember who’s making them dear. Anything I touch turns to gold.” He said with a huff of laughter. Sunburst chimed in from the other side of the table, “He’s not wrong—any time he has made me a sandwich, it has been great.” He laughed and said, “I don’t think they see your genius the way I do, Shining.” Shining smirked proudly, “I know! A bunch of amateurs over here.” He handed Flurry’s sandwich down to her, and she went at it ravenously. Cadance faked desperation as she put a wing around my back. “Oh, but please, Sir Shining. Me and my poor little foal here are just so starving! Please grace us with your sandwich prowess!” I was a bit flustered, and my face turned a bit red at the implication of me being her foal. I could tell it was all jokes since Shining was already preparing the sandwiches. But nonetheless, he gave us the eye of scrutiny, saying, “I wouldn’t expect one of your stature to respect the art. However, I shall indulge you, my lady.” He dropped the act and smiled down at me. "Kieran, how much sauce do you like on sandwiches? A little bit, normal, or extra?” When suddenly being called upon, my ears twitched. “Oh, normal, please, if it isn’t trouble.” He smiled brightly and nodded. “Right away, buddy.” I was flustered and more than a little bit caught off guard by both Shining and Cadance’s bantering and comical mood. But I deduced this was only my confusion over how tight their family and friends' relationships were. By all intents and purposes, I was a complete stranger, yet they were acting like I was just another member of the family. I certainly didn’t know how to act with a normal family—I’d never eaten together with mine. We never joked with each other unless it was Damon; I never really got the chance. Well, it was more like my “parents'' didn't give me one. The last thing on their minds would ever be hanging out with me and playing. But in a colorful land of talking ponies, I felt wholly warm and more welcome than I had felt on earth in most of my time there. But that warm feeling in my chest bubbled up even more whenever I was around Cadance and Shining. It confused me in a happy way. Lunch passed smoothly, with all the adults catching up even more. Especially about a bunch of other ponies I’d never heard of or known of. About a bunch of Twilight’s friends and students who attended the school of friendship. It was interesting, but I found myself closing my eyes and relaxing under Cadance’s safe and warm wing. Flurry was quiet when eating, until anything was said about her and she’d chime in loudly. But that much was expected of her at this point. "Momma, can I go check on the plants?” Flurry requested. Cadance gave a silent nod, as the filly must’ve been eyeing me. “Is Kieran..?” “Let him rest, honey; he’s been through a lot today.” Cadance reminded her. Flurry seemed to agree as she trotted off somewhere into the gardens. I think the adults assumed I was asleep, even though I was just reveling in the softness of Cadance’s embrace and the fresh air here. Though the previous magic incident had wiped me of some amount of energy, it was an understandable assumption. The adults’ voices became hushed, and Stellar inquired about me more. “So, forgive me if it’s rude.” She hesitated, “But what is the story with Kieran?” Cadance and Shining didn’t respond for a bit. “Flurry’s magic continues to elude us.” Shining said exasperatedly with a sip of his drink. Sunspot hummed inquisitively, "Hmm, I imagined it as such.” Cadance hugged me a bit closer with her wing. Then she sighed, “Kieran… he was mistreated terribly before his life ended. And in some monumental act of alicorn madness, Flurry put his dying soul into a copy of herself. Not even she knows how she did it.” She paused and began to stroke my back gently. “But now he’s with us.” She somehow pulled me even tighter; I wasn’t complaining. In fact, I’m pretty sure I nuzzled into her fur in response. Stellar hummed happily at that. “Quite the mystery. But he seems as happy as a foal can be, if a little quiet.” She commented. Shining huffed a slight laugh. “Well, if you’d seen him two nights ago, you’d be surprised at how much he has warmed up to us.” I knew it was wrong, letting them think I was sleeping. And I did feel slightly guilty, but to me, it was no different than the times Damon argued with my caretakers, and I’d listen through a small crack in the doorway with bated breath. You could tell who someone really was by the way they spoke about you while you were absent, which includes sleeping. I’d just been a bit naive about the signs of my old caretakers. So… I deduced that getting burned twice was a bad decision and listened on. Sunburst shuffled, “I can see it if your previous message is to go by. He seems to like you both a lot, but certainly Cadance.” I could tell Cadance blushed by the way she cleared her throat quietly. “Well, yes, I just think I’ve been the first one to truly listen and allow him to vent his frustrations, for both lives. He’s not a bad foal—in fact, he’s a real sweetheart when you gain his trust.” Stellar giggled. "Oh, come now, that can’t be the only reason. You’ve wanted another foal for a while now, haven’t you?” Cadance stammered, “Y-Yes…” Stellar continued with another short giggle, “Trust me, honey, from one mother to another. You aren’t simply acting as a therapist for Kieran. I can tell you love him like your own already.” Stellar certainly had that whole know-it-all, old-mother type that you’d usually find in hair salons and such. What she said had even made me blush in embarrassment, and I suddenly wondered how much the act of “sleeping” was worth it. Now I’d have to hear Cadance’s words of denial about that statement with my own ears, which was not only hurtful but- “I certainly do. And I really wouldn’t mind being his parent.” Cadance finally said, trailing off with a bit of sadness. That made me do a mental double-take and made it really hard to keep up the act of sleeping. But Cadance quickly added on to her statement, “But not if it means hurting him. He was already hurt by his previous home. And his trust doesn’t come easily; the last thing I want is to make him feel pressured into considering us “family” when none of that honestly matters." Shining hummed in agreement, “I just want what’s best for the little one. Even if it means we have to say goodbye someday, giving him somewhere to feel at peace and the feeling that somepony appreciates his presence is all that matters.” Cadance hummed in agreement and stroked my back a bit more. I… I had no mental words for that. I felt tears pricking at the edges of my eyes, but I quickly nuzzled into her fur to wipe them away and keep up the act. Did they know I was pretending to sleep and wanted to tell me something indirectly? Or did they actually just decide to say the most super nice thing anyone has said about anybody in the history of ever? It was mind-boggling to me at that moment. “Well said, you two,” Sunburst said with a huff of acknowledgement. Stellar hummed happily, “I’m glad it’s all working out for you.” I was still shocked by all of what they’d just said. I needed time to process it, so I faked a yawn and stretched my hooves as my eyes opened. Cadance rubbed my back and nuzzled my head. “Feel better, sweetie?” I pretended to be groggy as I looked up and smiled at her. “A bit.” I yawned again, for real this time, and backed away a bit. “Can I go find Flurry?” I requested while rubbing my eyes. Cadance nodded. “Of course. She’s probably checking on all her favorite plants right about now. Be ready to hear every single one of their stories.” I raised a brow. “Their… stories?” Shining laughed. “Yep, how much they cost, where she got them, where the plant originates from… She’s dedicated for sure.” I nodded at him and hopped down carefully. “I’m sure their stories are riveting.” I said a bit jokingly. Shining huffed, “Sure. Just don’t feel bad if you need to feign intrigue at times.” He joked back. “Oh, I probably will.” I replied truthfully as I rubbed the back of my neck. Cadance rolled her eyes playfully before looking me seriously in the eyes. “You come right back if you start feeling bad again, alright? Or tell Flurry to come get us.” I nodded, taking a few more steps away. “Sure.” “Oh, and don’t let her convince you to leave the garden with her.” She requested. “Mhm.” Another thought seemed to come to her: “Oh! And don’t taste any of the plants. Flurry seems to think she knows when they’re ripe enough.” I gave a short smug smile, "Alright, mom. I get it, jeez.” I huffed jokingly with a sarcastic tone. Her wings ruffled, and she blushed a bit as the rest of the adults snickered. Well, Shining busted out laughing. Cadance eventually giggled too and retorted with a simple “Have fun!” as I walked away. After I walked out of sight, I sat down, staring at my hooves for a while. There was something inside of me doing what it always did, urging me to ignore their words, excepting some sort of trap or other unfavorable thing. But I knew that it was wrong, and this was the one time where I could truly believe every word they said. My eyes teared up before I could compose myself, and they dripped down and onto my hooves. It was a jumbled mess of happy and sad tears. ‘My parents would’ve never said anything nice like that to me,’ I realized. My days of scounging around dumpsters were always making me assume I’d never have the chance to live easily with others who wanted me to relax as well. When I’m around their family, things just sort of fix themselves. It’s no longer about me fending for myself, even when my supposed “parents” were in town. But Cadance and Shining... they treated me like family more than anyone ever had. Their warm embraces, their friendliness—it already felt more homely here, and I couldn’t deny it. I sighed, ‘Why did Cadance have to imply she wouldn’t mind being my mother?!? She’s got my mind talking in crazy mode. Doesn’t she know you don’t just say something like that all willy-nilly?’ I tried to act annoyed by it, but I couldn’t help but crack a small smile. I wiped my tears away and took a large breath. The world almost seemed more colorful than it always had. I guess I'd written off Cadance's early words about me when I first got to this world, assuming that she only thought she wanted to adopt me because I was a Flurry clone. Not Because I was Kieran. But that wasn't the truth anymore, she loved me for... me. As crazy as that was. “Kieran! Come over here!” Flurry’s voice called eagerly. I looked up, and she was standing a bit farther away, waving her hoof from behind a set of plants. I sighed, freeing myself from my thoughts as I stood up and trotted over. When I got there, she was leaning over one of the plants. I awkwardly approached, “Hey.” She smiled over at me and said, “I thought you’d sleep under momma’s wing forever! Come here, look.” I raised my brow as she grabbed my hoof and pulled me over. It was a nice-looking plant, all things considered. It had a mix of purple and white-colored little buds erupting all over it, along with some very large stems. I don’t know; I’m not really much of a botanist… “It’s really nice.” I expressed myself with a sincere smile. Flurry nodded. "Yeah, she is pretty, but I meant this. Look.” She pointed her hoof down near the dirt around the plant. In the soil was possibly the fattest and fuzziest caterpillar I’d ever seen, nibbling on one of the plant’s fallen leaves. I tilted my head, “Huh, weird little guy.” Flurry reached her hoof down to touch it, but I grabbed her hoof and gave her a concerned look. “Hey, what if it’s poisonous? Plus, it’s eating; why mess with it?” She seemed surprised for a minute before she giggled as I released her foreleg. "No, silly, it’s not dangerous.” Once again, she reached down and picked up the caterpillar. Holding the confused and rather disappointed-looking creature up for me to see. “These little guys will just keep eating and eating, and it’ll hurt this plant.” She walked a few feet away and put it on the leaves of another plant with very large leaves and a flower at the very top. “But this plant is used to having its leaves eaten, so it won’t hurt it at all if the caterpillar eats here.” I stared in intrigue at her as she turned back around to me with a smile. “You know a lot about these plants, huh?” I commented, already knowing the answer. She nodded. “Of course I do! It’s me and Momma’s garden. I can’t disappoint her by letting one of them die off. If one dies, it’s sort of like an entire memory of me and Momma being together is dying too.” With how adorable of a thought that was, I let my smile engulf my muzzle. “Wanna show me around?” She nodded eagerly before gesturing for me to follow. She took me around to see a lot of plants. And when they said she knew every single one of them, they weren’t kidding. Though Flurry managed to make a good few of their “stories” actually rather interesting in the process of showing me around. Something kept pricking at my mind as I watched her. She’d prune the plants and occasionally manipulate their stems and leaves with her magic in a way that seemed nearly impossible for my human brain. If a flower wasn’t blooming yet when it should, she’d give the plant the extra boost it needed, and when she talked, it was almost like the things she was manipulating were moving to her words. It made me wonder what her specialization in magic was, as Sunburst had explained to me earlier. There was a lull in the stories, so I inquired, “Hey, Flurry." “Yeah?” “What’s your magical affinity?” I asked. She turned and giggled, “Silly, alicorns have affinity for everything. We don’t do anything badly.” I shrugged lightly. “But isn’t Cadance the alicorn of love? And Luna and Celestia are the sun and moon… Isn’t that sort of like an affinity?” She was absentmindedly messing with a plant as she replied, "Well, yeah, we get a sort of “domain” that we rule over. I’m sort of the exception.” She said, her face falling a bit. I hummed curiously, and she must’ve known I’d ask anyway, so she continued. “Alicorns aren’t usually born like me.” She said with a sigh, “They usually start as earth ponies, unicorns, or pegasi and have to achieve something of great importance to be blessed with alicornhood.” She turned back around to me and said, “Usually they get a domain over something and a kingdom to rule along with it.” She huffed exasperatedly. “But I really didn’t do anything to deserve being an alicorn.” I pursed my lips. “Well, isn’t that just because your mother is an alicorn?” She shrugged halfheartedly. “Maybe, but still… It's a lot of pressure being expected to find a domain to rule, get my cutie mark, and a kingdom when I’m older.” I crossed my front forelegs and raised my brow. “Who said you have to do those things just because it’s the normal thing to do?” She looked at me in surprise before stuttering out an answer: "Well, I just feel like I’d be a disappointment to momma, my aunts, and-” "Oh, please,” I interrupted her. “Your family is the nicest one I’ve ever met! I doubt they’d ever think of you like that. Have you ever heard them say it out loud?” She searched for a retort but couldn’t seem to find one, and she blushed in a mixture of realization and annoyance. “Well, even if they don’t, I still want to figure it out.” I hummed in intrigue, putting a hoof to my chin. “You manipulate plants really well. Maybe you’re some sort of plant alicorn?” She snickered loudly as her worries seemed to ease off. “I hate to burst your bubble, but even a young unicorn could do what I’m doing with the plants.” “Oh,” I muttered. I sighed. “Then what’s your best kind of magic? You know, the one that really just comes naturally to you? Maybe that’ll give you an idea.” She seemed to be thinking quite hard, with an intense face adorning her features. Eventually, she hummed and tilted her head as if she'd remembered something. “Conjuration…” I looked at her curiously, and she nodded. “When I was really young, the first magic I was really good at was creating things out of nothing.” "Yeah, that lines up,” I said with little surprise in my voice. She giggled. “I’d make little toy dolls and make them act out extravagant plays for my own entertainment.” She smiled fondly as she closed her eyes. “I’d make them dance and sing for me and do everything I wished.” “Why’d you stop?” I wondered. Her face fell a bit. “I got too good at it; I made them too real. One day, when it was time to get rid of the dolls for that day, all I heard was them begging for their lives.” She shifted uncomfortably and grimaced, “Momma explained they weren’t really sentient, just that I’d given them too many realistic qualities. It really freaked me out, and… I forbid myself from doing it ever again. It was awful.” I felt a chill run down my spine at the thought of that scenario, and I gave her a playful, horrified look. “You were a morbid little filly, huh?” She deadpanned at me, “I almost injured many people with my powers as a small filly. Alicorn magic is quite uncontrollable for the inexperienced.” “I believe it." There was a gap in the conversation, and I laughed a bit. “I think you should try that sort of magic again. I’m sure you’d be great at it now.” She looked at me, unsure yet thankful in a way. “Is that a good idea, though?” I shrugged. “If you really want to find your talents, maybe returning to your roots would help with that.” I pointed towards a nearby plant, “No pun intended.” Flurry giggled, “I can go back to having extravagant performances too!" She had a sudden realization and put on a smug grin before striking an extremely over-the-top pose, as if she were a magician just finishing her grand finale. “Maybe I’m the alicorn of the theater? The art of the act!” She announced herself extravagantly. I snorted loudly and laughed, "Yeah, maybe! And I’ll be your alicorn assistant, the alicorn of failure.” I said with a playful smirk. She giggled. “You’re not a failure!” She defended, but couldn’t contain her fit of laughter. I smirked mischievously, doing my own goofy pose. “What? Surely an alicorn without magic is the clown of your theater show! People would come from far and wide to see the one and only Magic-of-Nothing Alicorn!” I posed heroically and stuck my tongue out. She rolled onto the ground in her fit of laughter, and not long afterwards, I fell down beside her, giggling all the same. We giggled for a long time, only stopping for short breaths before the other’s laughter brought back our own. Eventually we settled down and watched as the clouds overhead twisted and morphed in their winter weather. While we lay here in warmth, as if it were a warm summer day. Eventually Flurry spoke again, her voice soft and happy: “I’m happy you’re here, Kieran.” I blushed and shifted a bit until I was closer to her. “I’m happy I’m here too.” There was more calm silence before she spoke again, this time much more nervous. “Have you ever thought of… staying? Y’know, here… with me, momma and daddy?” I didn’t want to give a hasty answer and stayed truthful: “I have, and not really much else. I don’t know where else I would go to be perfectly honest.” She suddenly sat up a bit, enough to lock eyes with me. “You should stay!” She said maybe a bit too overeager. She blushed and coughed to hide her excitement. “I mean, I think you like it here, and we all like you being here… So I just think it’s a good idea…” Her horn began to glow faintly in her excitement. “Oh, really? I had plans; I guess I’ll have to cancel my train ticket. Oh dear.” I said sarcastically. She shoved me playfully and gave me a pleading look. “No, I mean it! Please stay.” Her words were honest, and if I’d wanted to leave before, my opinion had certainly changed somewhere around yesterday, and if not then, probably about ten minutes ago. “Mmm… Okay. I’ll stay.” I said, pretending like it required more thought than it actually did. “Now if I suddenly start acting crazy, you’re stuck with me.” I agreed while sticking my tongue out and poking my cheek. She seemed overwhelmed with happiness in that moment, as her lower hooves rocked back and forth giddily and she held a large smile. But her response was rather calm in comparison: “Yay! Now I have a permanent friend living with me.” I hummed absentmindedly as I looked up at the clouds. “Wasn’t your end goal to have a sibling?” She stared at me for a second as I raised my brow, then she huffed and crossed her forelegs. "Oh, come on, just let me be happy. You’re the one who told me we’d start as friends.” “Sheesh, you’re making it sound like you want to date me,” I poked fun at her. Her face became deep red, and she glared a little at me. "Okay, smart mouth, I don’t love myself that much!” I turned over to my side and smiled smugly at her. “It’s fine, though; I still need some time to think it over. I'm not sure if I like you enough to be siblings yet.” “Alright, that’s it!” She announced, standing up slightly. That seemed to be her tipping point as she lunged forward at me. I had no idea what her end goal was in our little wrestling match, but I did know that she wasn’t holding back. She laughed maniacally as she desperately attempted to gain access to my face. I put up a good fight, I’d like to say, but eventually she got through my defenses, pinned my hooves down, and gave me a solid lick on my forehead. “Hey, what was that for?” I giggled. She just smirked, “I win!” As it started getting dark out, we all left the garden and headed back into the castle. In the main hallway, Sunburst and his family broke away from the group. “It was nice seeing you all, but I think I should head out. I’ll try and get a message to Starlight and Twilight as soon as I can with all the data I collected.” Sunburst said with a definitive nod. Flurry and Cadance shared a hug with him and said their goodbyes. Sunburst looked down at me a bit more solemnly, but his face was determined. He put a hoof to his chest and said, “I promise Kieran, we’ll do everything in our power to figure it out for you.” I just nodded understandingly as he and his family said one last goodbye before leaving the castle again. Flurry looked a bit sad, and Cadance immediately reassured her, “Don’t worry, honey, they’ll be back for Hearth’s Warming really soon!” Flurry turned and nodded with a smile. We made the rest of the way back into the castle living space. As we got there, about half a dozen worker ponies came out of a room I’d never been in while carrying supplies; they bowed at the door before exiting. “Momma, who are they?” Flurry asked. Shining replied absentmindedly, “They’re just working on installing some new windows in the office, sweetie. They’ll be in and out for a few days.” And that was all for her explanation. We ate a small dinner due to lunch being later than usual, and we all relaxed in the living room around the large fireplace on their more than spacious and soft rug. Flurry was snoring quite loudly while lying against Shining’s stomach, but I had a lot on my mind personally. I lay with Cadance’s wing draped over me, against her stomach, staring at the flames as they flickered, crackled, and burned. They were conversing quietly about mundane things, while my head raced with an overabundance of issues now splayed about me. My apparent awful magic was the main thing plaguing me, as not being able to live like the other ponies irked me. Then, of course, the confusing question of parents sat in my mind. But I tried to ignore that one more than normal. At some point, Cadance’s soft and comforting voice hovered above me. “I know that look in your eyes; what’s troubling you, little one?” Ignoring how easily she reads people, I eyed her momentarily, “Just… magic.” That was all I said. She looked saddened and a bit defeated, knowing there was no way she’d be able to fix things for me. Shining chimed in, “Don’t blame ya, buddy; if what happened to you earlier happened to me, I’d be more than a little shook.” Cadance rolled her eyes. “Be a little bit more sensitive, dear.” She reprimanded him, and he smiled sheepishly. I shook my head quietly before laying my head to the side, resting it on her stomach. “Cadance? What’s an alicorn’s purpose?” I’d already heard both Luna’s and Flurry’s explanations, which were wildly different from each other. I wanted another opinion. She seemed shocked by my question, but she quickly relaxed: “The joy of being an alicorn is having nearly unlimited freedom in what your purpose should be. Though it’s also a curse, as you always wonder if there’s something more you could be doing.” She gave me a rather straightforward and understandably bleak answer. One that I hadn’t expected. “Is it okay if an alicorn just relies on everybody all the time? And if that alicorn just wanted to live peacefully… would that be okay too?” I asked a bit childishly, though it was the easiest question that described my current fears. She gave me a warm motherly smile, pulled me closer, and nuzzled my cheek. “Yes, it’s okay. And that alicorn will be okay. And he’ll still be loved, no matter what.” She reassured me with a knowing smile. I blushed, relaxing even more into her wing as the fire popped a few times. And Cadance started humming quietly. Even if I’d wanted to stay awake, I couldn’t help but drift off. Flurry was asleep, and Shining was nearing there, so accepting that tonight would be spent on a rug in front of a fireplace, I gave in and drifted off to her voice. Maybe trying to be part of a new family wasn’t such a terrifying idea… > 11 - Solecism > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sergeant Bristle was usually a rather friendly stallion. He had a commanding voice he rarely had to use—an imposing demeanor, sure. But when it came down to it, he was one of the most talkative and relatable stallions in the entire Crystal Guard. He prided himself on that fact; most knew not to get on his bad side. So it was with great confusion and avoidance that the entire academy gave the Sergeant a wide berth as he angrily huffed down the hallway, an all-encompassing glare adorning his features. A few of those he’d consider friends chose not to greet him today, not when he was in this mood. They knew better than to interrupt. The one stallion that did try to stop him for a moment got a side eye and an uncaring response: “Not right now, rookie.” Though this was a rather rare case for the respected Sergeant, it was all in all rather unsurprising when his path of anger led him straight to the door of his Corporal’s office. A hearty knock was ushered, and so too was Smoke Strike’s indifferent voice from the other end: “Come in.” And Bristle did just that, opening the door swiftly and shutting it with a bit more strength than required. Smoke Strike immediately sat up with wide eyes as the sergeant’s glare washed over him. “Yes, Sarge?” Smoke asked. “Don’t address me so informally, Corporal Smoke Strike.” Bristle growled back impatiently. "Yes, of course. My apologies, Sergeant Bristle.” Smoke said back with a salute. Bristle studied him for a moment longer and released another short growl, “Do you have any idea why I’m here?” Smoke Strike’s eyes darted in confusion. “No, Sergeant. Did I perhaps anger the receptionist again?” He commented with a wry grin. Bristle took a few more steps forward until he was right before his desk and slammed down two papers right before the confused stallion, eliciting a wide-eyed look. “A report of your behavior, straight from Sir Shining Armor AND Princess Cadance.” Bristle glared. “Mind explaining to me what you did yesterday to elicit such a response?” Smoke Strike reached upward to grab the paper, but Bristle stopped it with his own grip. “No, I want to hear it from your own mouth. Not you reading it to me.” Bristle said with a huff. “I already know what you did. Do you know what you did?” Smoke Strike knew better than to look for a way out of the situation or to downplay his actions to make himself look better. So with a heavy sigh, he retracted his hoof and softened his brows. “Yes, Sergeant. I may have made some… regrettable choices in my wording at the castle yesterday.” “To whom?” Bristle pried with a raised eyebrow, expecting a fuller answer. “To Kieran.” Smoke replied. “And why is that?” Bristle asked further. Smoke Strike sighed and rested his head in his hoof for a moment before looking back up apologetically. “Sergeant, you know I’m not good with foals. It’s just… yesterday, I was a bit on the angrier side. Kieran wouldn’t stop asking me questions. It was-” “I don’t want excuses, Smoke.” Bristle cut him off. “Then I won’t make any,” Smoke said with a heated sigh. “Do you want the truth, Sergeant?” An expecting nod urged him on, and Smoke sighed. “I think the foal got off too easy. I feel he should’ve at least been put on civil duty for everything he put us through. And I’m not the only one who feels that way.” Sergeant Bristle narrowed his eyes but didn’t interrupt the stallion’s rant. Smoke Strike raised his head and shook his head. “I personally think the royal family is being too generous. So what if the foal is a copy of their daughter? It’s clouding their vision. Kieran is nothing more than a hooligan coasting on the princess’s good will.” “Ah, so you feel you understand the situation better than the two who’ve spent the most time with him? And you and the other hotheaded recruits have decided that you reserve the right to give punishment?” Bristle remarked a bit mockingly. Smoke had nothing else to say, and Bristle sighed again. “Regardless of your personal feelings, Corporal, I must remind you that Shining and Princess Cadance both have the final say on everything. Smoke Strike begrudgingly nodded, a bit of disdain on his muzzle. Bristle huffed, “And when you do dumb things like insult the foal directly, it reflects badly on all of us. You’re a guard for the Empire, which means even if the royal family has someone you absolutely despise, it is still your duty to see to their safety.” Smoke growled, "Yes, but-” “You signed up for that!” Bristle interrupted, a bit of his earlier anger returning. “And honestly, he’s not a bad kid, Smoke; we all do stupid things in our foalhood.” Smoke rolled his eyes. "Yes, but we got punished for it.” Bristle shook his head, turning his back on Smoke. “Smoke Strike, in this world, there are two types of people that upset the law… Those who do it because of greed and those who only know how to do it out of necessity for survival.” Bristle looked back at him with disappointment. “And I’m just not sure I can ever think of retirement, when I’d be entrusting the guard to someone who can’t distinguish the two.” Smoke stayed silent for a long while. “Sergeant… I-” But he cut himself off, not knowing how to continue on with his words. Bristle took a long sigh, not even turning back to give him a glance. “Chin up, Corporal, due to your little stunt... Shining is coming in for a cursory check on the academy. I’d advise you to have a little more respect for your superiors today.” Bristle finalized his statement as he walked out the door, leaving the younger stallion to his devices as the door clicked shut. Smoke nearly sneered, “More respect, always more respect.” He mocked with an eyeroll before gripping the report. He scanned through it hastily, the edges of his brow curling in response. The letter forced another huff of indignation, and he released a growl before crumpling it up and tossing it to the side. “All of this over my comment on manners?” He ranted to himself. “I told you, Cadance." I followed after her through the winding hallways of the castle hastily as a scowl adorned her features. It was definitely the first time I’d seen her truly angry. But even my pleading attempts for her to stop were met with nothing more than her hasty clattering hoofsteps through the hallway, as I just barely managed to keep up. “It’s not that big of a deal!” I reassured her. She huffed a laugh. “He’s in MY castle for barely five minutes, and he DARES to insult you? That very much makes it a big deal!” She argued back. When Cadance was discussing the matter with Shining at breakfast, I didn’t expect it to evolve into this. I was genuinely very happy that I’d only told her about his comment on my manners and how he called me annoying. I figured that if I’d told her everything else he’d said, Smoke Strike would merely be pleading for his life at this point. I understood at least some of Smoke’s annoyance, so I genuinely felt bad as I followed her to her study. “But Cadance, he wasn't wrong... I was kinda being annoying.” I admitted it as she stopped to unlatch the door from the inside. The two guards standing in front of the doorway stepped to the side with a short bow. As she did so, she looked down at me sympathetically and said, “Kieran, honey, I understand that you’re sympathetic.” She smiled, and I smiled right back and nodded eagerly. But a moment later, she closed her eyes and growled, “Which is why I’m so angry! He upset you so much that you cried! Who does he think he is!?” She ranted before entering the room as the door clicked unlocked. I stood there in disbelief for a second. “But..! I’m not even upset anymore!” “Anymore?! How long did he make you upset for?!” Her alarmed voice rang back to me from the outside of the door. The two crystal guards on either side of me snickered a bit as my face became flustered and I trotted inside. “No! You’re not listening!” I told her hastily. My words were futile as she was already at her desk writing a report with fury, unbeknownst to even the most unlucky of guards. I hopped a few times on my back legs but could barely make it halfway up the desk. I clamored around, finding another seat and hopping up onto it, placing my two front hoofs on the desk with purpose. “Cadance!” I whined a bit uncharacteristically. Her ears swiveled in my direction, which was the only indication that she was listening as her eyes burned holes in the letter and the quill wrote feverishly. I cleared my throat so as to try to sound more serious. Though nothing ever made having the voice of a young girl easy to ignore for me, “It’s just a minor disagreement, and blowing things out of proportion will only make the guards dislike me more, Cadance...” I paused, and she didn’t respond. “I know the tricks I pulled were wrong and mean, so let them think of me harshly until I can make it up to them!” She finally signed her name off on the paper and stamped it before rolling it up and sealing it with the royal seal. My head fell dejectedly, and I sighed. Cadance laid the scroll down and turned to me, “Honey, look at me.” I didn't have to follow her request, as she gently guided my head with her hoof anyway. Her smile was gentle and bright. “I understand.” She said with a nod, “I understand you; I understand the guards; I get it, I really do." I huffed, “Then you’re not going to send it?” Cadance sighed. “Sweetie, when you told me yesterday that he scared you, I was okay with writing it off. But insulting you is an entirely different problem!" “But-” She put her hoof over my mouth. “But nothing. Letting them think it’s okay to say those words in my castle, behind my back, to my charge? That’s ridiculous!” I hung my head solemnly, and she leaned in and nuzzled the top of my head. “And all because a foal may have been slightly annoying.” She giggled. “Foals are silly and clumsy, and they do things that others disagree with.” I nodded along as she huffed, “And if any guard of mine finds that to be annoying, well, they best keep that to themselves. It is not okay to say those things, and I don’t want you to think that it’s okay if others talk to you like that, Kieran.” “Okay,” I said with a small sigh. She lifted my head again. “What was that?” She asked with a raised brow. I smiled slightly, and she booped my nose. “Speak a bit louder, Kieran.” I giggled and tried to push her hoof away. “I said okay.” I replied a bit louder. “What? I still can’t hear you!” Cadance said playfully, poking both of my cheeks, “Are these things on? Are they working?” I laughed at the feeling and futilely tried pushing both her hooves away from my cheeks. One of them found their way to my back hooves, “Oh? Is this on switch down here somewhere, maybe?” The feeling of her hoof immediately elicited a squeal from me. “Stop!” I begged. Apparently I was ticklish down there, and unfortunately for me, Cadance had just discovered the same thing. She smiled devilishly before moving both of her hooves down to assault my back hooves mercilessly. “I didn’t find the on switch, but it seems I found something even better.” I looked at her pleadingly, “No Cadance!” I begged hopelessly. Her devilish smile grew wider, and I now knew only fear for the creature standing before me. How had I never seen it all along? She was as merciless in her attacks as I’d always expected. The pink witch had returned! She was calculated in her actions, keeping one hoof steadily on my chest so I couldn’t run as the other one drifted between each of my back legs. “Hmm… which one should I try first?” “Neither?” I said hopefully. She shook her head before suddenly saying, “Both!” And that was it for me. She mercilessly tickled the bottom of my hooves. Even going as far as to torture me by going between each hoof with her muzzle and blowing raspberries. I laughed relentlessly as she attacked, only getting small moments of respite in between the assaults. “Okay okay!” I squealed. She giggled heartlessly, taking enjoyment in my suffering. “I can’t hear you yet!” She said in mock panic, “Oh no, I need to try harder!” I waited in horror as she picked me up with her magic and flipped me upside down. Positioning both of her hooves to tickle both of mine. “Please no…” I begged in terror. “Still so quiet! This should do it.” She announced this before plunging her muzzle into my stomach as her hooves attacked mine mercilessly. I don’t think I've ever felt so attacked in my life! She forced me to laugh for a long while, not allowing me to kick or do so much as scream for freedom. Until my breath was gone and I was barely able to vocalize, “I… give!” I told her in a last-ditch effort as I panted. “You win.” I huffed. She momentarily halted her attacks. "Oh, my little Kieran, I heard you that time!” She flipped me back around and dropped me into her embrace. She giggled happily as she leaned in and nuzzled me. “Of course… you did.” I said in between laughs. “Dear Twilight, I do regret having to bother you at such a hectic time of the year, but the best I could afford in terms of waiting was to write you a letter instead of contacting you directly. I assumed it would be less straining on you if it was only a letter. But besides that, you may have noticed the other reports inside the letter. I also assume you’ve already been informed about Kieran and his entire situation, so I will spare those details. Inside these reports are some rather baffling and completely unprecedented data that I’ve collected whilst undergoing a thorough magic examination on the foal. If you’ll pay extra attention to form F-A through form F-D, you’ll see exactly why I felt it was so urgent to contact you. I understand that a letter isn’t exactly perfect, but I would greatly appreciate yours and Starlight’s opinion on the matter. I hope that this gives you any extra ideas so that you have a baseline to start with once you visit your family in the Crystal Empire later this week. Inside is a detailed report of the effect these tests had on Kieran as well, and as you’ll see, they are rather concerning. I’ve never personally heard of a body that rejects magic, especially not at such a terrifying intensity that it causes great pain. Anyway, you know me, I could write about the foal for days. But I think the research speaks for itself. I’ve already spoken with Starlight in depth, so if you have any additional questions, she should be able to help you. Thank you in advance, and Twilight, please don’t wear yourself out this year, alright? Or I’ll make Starlight take your throne for the day. Your friend, Sunburst." “Is it enough?” Sunburst asked himself quietly as he paced back and forth in his temporary office. “Did I not explain enough? Did I make it clear how dire the situation might be with my reports?” Sunburst continued to mumble a bit nervously to himself. He read the page for what felt like the tenth time, finally releasing a sigh as he reprimanded himself. “Well, every second you ask yourself, that is a second wasted Sunburst.” After a second of hesitation, he went back to pacing even faster than normal with his eyes fixed on the floor. “I need more data; can we really figure it out with just this?” He bit his lower lip. “But no, Kieran deserves to be left alone for now. Cadance wouldn’t entertain more tests anyway; just send the letter!” Sunburst argued with himself, gently hitting the side of his head with a hoof. He thought back on the conversation he’d had with his wife and something she’d told him quite sternly: “Sunburst, dear, I want to make this perfectly clear: I love you, but... This may be outside of your realm of understanding.” She told him gently. “I know, I know,” Sunburst agreed with a sigh. “But there’s got to be something I can do.” Starlight giggled. “Aside from becoming an alicorn, your options are limited.” Sunburst smiled slightly. “But if I could just get a few more tests done-” “No, Sunburst. Just compile all the data until it’s usable, unlike your usual chicken scratch, and send it to Twilight.” “Are you sure?” Sunburst asked hopefully. “Yes, she’s busy, but even Twilight would find time to help, especially since it’s so important to Cadance.” Starlight released a sigh. “You don’t have to do everything yourself.” “Sunburst dear? We’re going out for breakfast; are you coming?” He heard his mother ask from the other side of his door. "Yes, mother, one second!” He called back. Fixing his paper with an agitated sigh, he gently folded it up and fit it inside with the rest of the reports. Sealing it shut with his own special sun seal, he closed it, enveloping it with his magic and making it disappear in a plume of orange smoke. He looked out the window for a moment, fixing the crystal castle with a curious gaze as he mumbled quietly, “You don’t have to do everything by yourself, Sunburst. Some things are beyond even your understanding.” He found that thought humorous and decided that he needed to humble himself more often. “You’ve still got plenty to learn." A while later, after lunch, me and Flurry were playing video games. Of course, I couldn’t play the ones that required much dexterity, as I tried to keep my grip to a minimum. A quick knock at the door was followed by Flurry’s call, “Come in!” Though she never broke her face of concentration, which involved her tongue sticking out slightly. The door opened, and Cadance and Shining entered. “Having fun?” Shining asked us. Flurry nodded as I turned around. “Yep!” Cadance gave me a raised eyebrow. “You’re not using your hooves, right?” She challenged me. “Nope, just using stubs to push buttons.” I said with a laugh. Though I was lying in that regard, I was keeping my grip to a minimum but still definitely using it every once in a while. Though I doubted telling her that would go over well. Flurry paused the game and turned around as well with a curious look, until she saw Cadance, who had on a large scarf and all of her princess wear, like hoofshoes and whatnot. “Are we going somewhere, Momma?” Flurry asked excitedly. Cadance smirked, “I thought you and I could go out and do a little hearth's warming shopping. Your aunties are all going to be here soon, and I don’t believe you have anything for them.” Cadance told her. Flurry jumped to her hooves quickly in excitement and bounded over, “Yes! Oh, do you think Auntie Luna will like it if I get her video games?” Cadance just laughed amicably. “I don’t know, dear; I’m not sure if she’s much into that.” Shining stepped forward. “And I need to do a final check on the academy; do you want to come with me, Kieran?” He asked with a friendly smile. I suddenly felt a lot less confident, and my body froze up a bit. “I… don’t know… Maybe I should just go with Cadance? Or stay here… I’m okay by myself.” I mumbled while rubbing my hoof over my fetlock. Flurry shook her head. “Nuh-uh, girl’s shopping trip only!” She announced this while sticking her tongue out crudely. I blushed deeply and looked down at my hooves. “Oh… okay.” I heard Cadance mumble some sort of reprimand to Flurry before wandering over to me. "Kieran, honey, nobody should be alone during the holidays. This is a good opportunity for you to see that not all guards are like Smoke Strike in the academy.” She reassured me as she stroked my back. Shining came over and leaned down as well. “Yeah! Plus, I’ll be with you the whole time, buddy; nobody’ll mess with you. I promise.” I looked up at them, both of them giving me warmhearted looks—ones I could trust. Words that I could trust. Flurry chimed in from nearby. "Yeah, Kieran, you should go with Daddy!” she said excitedly as her horn glowed. I finally nodded at them, “Sure… I’ll go.” Shining ruffled my hair gently, and Cadance leaned in to kiss my cheek. She backed away, and Flurry hopped up onto her. “We’ll be back later, alright? You two, stay warm!” Cadance said with a smile. We nodded, and Cadance waved before teleporting themselves out of the room. I was genuinely left in shock by the sudden action, but I guess I should’ve seen that coming. Why take the stairs if you can manifest yourself down them, y’know? But now I was left with just me and Shining. He was really nice, but other than that, I could feel the growing amount of awkwardness bubbling up inside me. In all honesty, I didn't know him very well. “Well, Kieran, ready to head out?” I looked up at him and nodded shortly. “Oh, sure." He watched me for a bit longer, and I laughed nervously and gestured behind him, “Lead the way." His eyes widened, and he nodded. “Oh, of course.” He turned, and we began our trek. Along with everything that happened with the letters and Smoke Strike… I had no idea why I’d said yes to going with Shining. I want to say peer pressure due to Flurry, but I was the one who accepted. I released a long sigh as the never-ending hallways gave me nothing to focus on. A few times I’d fallen behind Shining and had to trot a bit faster to keep up. I usually had to be faster to keep up with any older pony, but it was as if Shining was walking faster. I quickly made the assumption that it was a royal guard thing. He glanced back. "Sorry, Kieran, I can carry you if you’d like." He offered. I shook my head. “It’s alright, thanks." A few more moments of silence passed as nothing, but our hooves rang out: “Will you be alright out there? It’s pretty cold.” He asked. It was then that I noticed the blue-striped scarf around his neck; it had blended in so well. I hummed, “Should be; I’ve been colder…” I replied with a shrug. He laughed sheepishly. "Well, I can’t deny that." He led me out the front entrance of the castle, and it suddenly dawned on me that I had no clue where the academy was. Now that we were outside, I was really feeling what he meant. I guess my few days spent all cozy in the castle had completely wiped away my memory of just how rough it was here in the winter. I released a shiver before realizing I was falling behind as my eyes widened and I ran a bit to keep up. Shining pointed ahead at a large building a good way away. It was recognizable by its large clock tower and pointed roof. But the building itself was massive, even from this far away. “That’s the academy!” He said proudly, “Also known as CEGA, or the “Crystal Empire Guardian Academy,” but that name is boring.” He said with a huff of laughter. I rushed to keep up as I listened, watched where I was stepping, and tried to glimpse the academy all at the same time, which was quite a task. Shining continued on eagerly, “Due to the harsh conditions up here, even Canterlot likes to send their rookies here for training! Some even like it here more and decide to stay.” He said with a proud smirk. He’d certainly fallen into tour guide mode, but as we continued, I was finding it harder and harder to keep up with the large snow drifts he was stepping over with ease. I had resorted to jumping between his leftover hoofprints in the snow, until I fantastically face-planted and ended up sinking around double my height in snow. My natural enemy. “Anyway, the academy is where we train all our new-” His voice faded away as I spat snow out of my mouth and shook my head free. At some point, Shining must’ve noticed my absence as he turned around and called out my name, “Kieran! Kieran?!” “Down here,” I said as he stood right above me. He looked down in alarm at my predicament, my icy prison. And though his face showed alarm, I could see a smile curling the edges of his lips. He reached his hoof in and scooped me out. "Sorry, Kieran, I hadn’t noticed how deep it got.” He apologized. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to ride on my back?" I shook the vestiges of snow from my fur and shook my head with a blush. “I think I’ll take the offer now…” I said this as some snow drifted off my muzzle. He chuckled and wiped the rest of it off my face. After we’d made a lot more headway, he’d finished with his brief history lesson on the academy. It was quite awkward for me, as the surrounding crystal ponies would greet Shining happily but look at me in curiosity. I didn’t know if they knew I was Kieran or Flurry, but they left me alone either way. “Shining,” I started slowly. His ear swiveled. “Mhm? What’s on your mind, buddy?” “How did you end up being a guard? Or marrying Cadance, for that matter?” I wondered genuinely. He must’ve liked that question, as his smile grew. “Well, my family had known Cadance for a while before we actually met. I was just a teenager back then, but my parents would often leave Twilight with Cadance as a babysitter." My eyebrows rose. “Wait, so your sister Twilight, ruler of Equestria, used to have Cadance as a babysitter? And let me guess, you both had a crush on each other?” I replied in amusement. He chuckled deeply. “It was actually Cadance who made a move first! I thought she was so far out of the ballpark that I didn’t even consider her until she confessed one day.” I poked his neck chidingly with a smug grin. "I bet you still liked her.” “Pfft,” He spat with a chuckle, “Every stallion at school did; are you kidding me? We’ll just say… the feelings were mutual.” I laughed, “So how does being a guard involve that?” He hummed as he cleared his throat. "Well, ever since I was a foal, I'd wanted to be a royal guard. And as I got older, I only wanted it more and more—to protect the ones I loved. Especially back in the day, there was a new problem every week back then." “Really?” I asked in confusion. "Yep, there used to be some new threat to Ponyville or Canterlot seemingly on a daily basis. Things mellowed out as Twilight and her friends solved the underlying issues.” Shining chuckled a bit more. “I guess in the end, it was really Twilight and her friends protecting everyone.” He kept a smile, but it was one where you could tell they were bothered by something still. I tried to clear that thought from him: “You protect Flurry, though. And everyone in the Crystal Empire always says great things about you. I think there’s merit in the amount of respect the ponies here have for you.” His head turned a little bit. “Are they really that partial to me?” He asked with a bit more surprise than I imagined he would. I nodded back. “When I was in the uh… streets, I would hear people talk about you all the time! They seem to really respect you, honestly." He lowered his head to try and hide the large smile, but he chose not to hide it for long as he cleared his throat again. "Well, I'm very happy to hear that. I do try my hardest to keep everyone here safe and happy.” He paused walking for a minute in the busy section of the city. “I may be a guard, but I’m also a prince as well, and these are my subjects." He looked back at me and said, “And you’re one too now, Kieran, someone else I need to protect.” He paused again as his eyes widened in realization, and he grinned. “Thanks for telling me that, buddy.” He gave me a short nuzzle. I nodded happily as we made our final small walk towards the academy. Up close, the academy was even more impressive. More like a whole university campus than just a simple training building. Shining brought us up the large steps and through the comparatively massive doors. The inside was more about what I was expecting, though: a couple of guards and a reception room, with a pink mare with blue hair manning the desk. She looked up immediately with recognition and a large smile and said, “Sir Shining! Good afternoon.” Shining nodded her way before stopping at the desk. "Hello, Miss Aurora. I’m here for an extra check on the academy before the holidays.” She nodded. “I see you brought a little Flurry as well!” She happily waved at me. I blushed, as Shining must’ve suddenly realized the predicament I was in and that everyone would call me Flurry. He quickly cleared his throat. “Actually, this is our other little troublemaker, Kieran." The mare suddenly grew wide-eyed and ushered in multiple bows of apology. “I’m so sorry, you two!” I knew this was going to happen, so I just sighed and gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay; it happens all the time.” Shining laughed and turned to me, “You and Flurry would make a great tag team for pranks.” He commented, trying to lighten the mood. I deadpanned back at him, “How do you know we haven’t?” I grinned evilly. “How do you know I’m not Flurry right now?” He chuckled deeply and shook his head. “Flurry, giving up a position for a shopping trip?! Never!” He countered. He reached back and poked my chest. "Plus, she whines a bit more than you.” “What? I don’t whine!” I said this while crossing my hooves. He just raised an eyebrow, which elicited a giggle from me. Aurora cleared her throat after she composed herself a bit. “Um, yes, and now that I’m paying more attention, you both carry yourself very differently. Again, sorry for the misunderstanding.” I just waved her off amicably as Shining nodded, and we finally entered the academy. On the way through the door and into the first hallway, Shining looked back at me worriedly. "Sorry, Kieran, if I’d thought about that in advance…” He trailed off. I shrugged. “She didn’t mean anything by it anyway, so it’s okay.” He nodded and turned back around. “Just let me know if something or someone is bothering you, alright?” "Mhm." I hummed back happily. He smiled brightly at me, his voice becoming jovial, before he turned around and trotted in a rather exaggerated prance. "Then, with that in mind, let’s go scare these new recruits, shall we?” I just giggled at the thought. > 12 - Everything Goes On > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It wasn’t long after Shining and I entered the academy that Sergeant Bristle noticed us arriving from nearby, walking over to greet Shining with a nod and short bow. “Sir Shining, it’s great to see you today.” Shining smiled, nodding back with acknowledgement, “Of course, how’ve you been my friend?” Bristle released a short chuckle. “Busy today, a bit miffed, probably terrified a few recruits in the process. You know how it is around here.” Shining laughed back at that before looking back at me. I could feel an introduction incoming; I’d talked to this pony once yet barely knew a thing about him. Though he seemed friendly enough, especially compared to Smoke Strike, “This is Kieran; he’s stuck with me today.” Shining referred to me playfully. I stiffened a bit at the gaze of Bristle, feeling out of place and nervous. I bowed my head slightly and greeted him. “Nice to meet you, Sergeant Bristle, sir." I tried to say in some respectful way that would be expected. I was sincerely hoping I wasn’t about to be reprimanded for all of my past ventures on the streets. “Are you one of my new recruits?” Bristle asked with a smirk. I looked up at him in surprise, looking between Shining and Bristle in confusion. “N-No? I don’t think so, sir.” Bristle stepped forward a bit. “Then it’s just “Bristle."No need for the formalities. How’ve you been the past few days?” His question was sincere, and his features eased me as somebody I could trust. Though I already knew that from how friendly he and Shining were. I smiled back at him. “Slightly better than the streets, I’ll admit.” Shining eyed me with a raised brow and a slightly hurt expression, “Only slightly? I thought we were better hosts than that…” He muttered sadly. I blushed and huffed, “You know what I mean, it’s… really nice.” I said while looking away sheepishly, another laugh escaping me. Shining leaned in and nudged me with a chuckle. “You almost had me there! Acting all aloof.” He gave a playful eye roll; I couldn’t help but laugh and push his face away gently. Bristle chuckled deeply, and his laughter filled up the hall. “That’s great to hear.” The two of them began walking side-by-side, and they fell into a conversation that didn’t involve me. As they talked more and more about their military stuff, my eyes began to wander, and so did my thoughts. The place was structured in four long hallways that connected in a square, the center of which was a very large courtyard training grounds… thing. We were in the courtyard, technically, but it was surprisingly much warmer here, with little to no snow. I chalked it up to magic shenanigans. The rooms we were passing on our left were mostly classrooms, I would guess; all the signs were different, but to my eyes, it was nothing more than a gibberish sign of squiggles. The only room we passed that I could definitely point out was a cafeteria. Turning myself on Shining’s back, I could easily see that there were a large quantity of trainees in the courtyard, which was around the size of a football field. They were all segmented into dozens of squads; I counted eight or so. There was a large mix of ponies, male and female; some were crystal ponies, others were not, which was something that still confuses me to this day. What was with the crystal ponies? They were all only earth ponies as well, with not a single crystal pegasus or unicorn in sight. The builds of every trainee differed, though it seems they were divided by weight classes. The only thing the trainees did have in common was their outfits. All the trainees were wearing a dark blue jumper with a patch on their chest, which had the symbol of the crystal heart and the initials of the academy underneath in white. Man, looking at a crowd of ponies like this really puts into perspective just how wild the diversity was in this world. Well, everyone other than me. The squadron closest to me was standing at attention as their guard instructor demonstrated to them with a spear held expertly in his hooves. The pegasus instructor and all the official guards I could see, for that matter, were in a full suit of armor. It was a dull blue color that I would compare to cobalt. Whether the armor was actually made out of cobalt was another question. The armor draped over their back with a light blue cloth trimming, and they had hoof shoes that were plated in the front in the same manner. The romanesque armor adorning their heads made each guard’s mane flow out of the helmet into a mohawk. Though even still, I wondered how much hair spray was required to keep their hair up like that. I watched in wonder as the instructor wielded his spear like an absolute pro. Doing downward slashes, small underhoofed strikes, and leveraging himself with his wings to gain height advantages so that he could twirl his spear underneath him midair. He was comboing the dummy in front of him like a character straight out of a game like Street Fighter. And when he was finished with his combo, he stood back, at attention to the trainees, and shouted more orders. “And for our crystal ponies, don’t be afraid to fight with the sun on your back! Blinding your enemies is a tactical strategy." Dirty, I liked it. As their squadron grew further away, I shifted my eyes to the second one. It was a few dozen trainees engaging in one-versus-one combat, straight hoof-to-hoof. And boy, was it intense! I don’t know if ponies are really just that resilient or if they have great healers. But they weren’t holding back; other than biting, I watched as the trainees used every advantage they could get. Kicking up the dirt into their opponent’s face, pegasi using their wings to stay out of reach, unicorns pulling their opponents in by the collar of their jumper with magic, only to clobber them. I had to admit that I winced a few times as I watched them fight. Thankfully, it seemed hitting each other where the sun doesn’t shine was also off limits. My wincing must have brought attention to the lull of Shining and Bristle’s conversation, and Bristle looked over at me and chuckled, “Don’t worry about them; they’re all infused with resilience by our best mages. They likely don’t feel a thing out there.” I watched in surprise as ponies who’d just been absolutely laid out would get back up without a single thought. Some even laughed as they shook hooves with their opponent. Shining nodded. “It’s a bit barbaric from the outside looking in. But we need our soldiers to be ready to deal with any potential variance in ponies. An earth pony needs to know how to take down a pegasus; a unicorn needs to know how to not get flattened by an earth pony; and so on…” Shining trailed off. As my mind caught up to what they were saying, one thing that was said stuck out to me more than the others. And I couldn’t betray the excitement my words were laced in, “Your best mages? You have a squad of mages? Or do you just mean unicorns?” I asked, turning to Bristle in intrigue. He nodded as he barely glanced back at me. “Yep, it’s a small department of the guard, there’s only a couple individuals in it. But they’re some of our best!” He said jovially with a proud look. I unknowingly shifted myself further up Shining’s back, my head held higher as I rested on his neck. “Like actual mages? Doing spells and stuff?” Shining chuckled underneath me, “The realest mages around. Think of Sunburst, but with more specialized talents.” He explained it to me. Bristle grunted in agreement, explaining things in more detail as I listened as intently as possible. “They aren’t just any old unicorns. Of course, they are all unicorns. But being a unicorn alone doesn’t make you a mage. They’ve all worked long and devoted themselves to their talents to get where they are.” I sat back. “Whoa,” I muttered in disbelief. I really wanted to meet them. I knew none of them could help me with my issue if Sunburst couldn’t, and that they’d likely just scoff at my lack of ability, but it just sounded so cool! Bristle smiled, his voice bringing me out of thought. “I like that look in your eyes. Maybe you could train with them or even join them someday. Right Shining?” I let the fantasy of that thought play in my mind for only a moment before I waved my hoof dismissively. “I have less magic in me than an earth pony, so I wouldn’t be useful. Only a detriment, really.” I huffed with a short laugh. Bristle furrowed his brow. “Really? Hmm…” But Shining stuttered with his steps, taking a second to glance at me with surprise. “You’re an alicorn, buddy. Don’t tell me you’re going to give up just because of a small hiccup." I looked up at his curious expression with a hum. “It’s not really that small… You were there yesterday." I sighed while staring down at the ground as it passed by slowly. I was surprised by a sudden jostling movement that almost sent me tumbling to the floor if I hadn’t grabbed on to Shining in time. It took me a moment to realize it was Shining himself that had shook me. “Hey…” I grumbled with a confused look. He met my gaze halfway with a short chuckle. “See how you just grabbed onto me?” “Uh… yeah?” I questioned while tilting my head more and more. He smirked. “Well, giving up on your own magic is akin to you not grabbing hold of me just then and falling flat on your muzzle. A small hiccup in the road you must overcome.” He turned away so he couldn’t see the incredulous, almost offended look I gave him. “Neither of those are comparable in the slightest!” I ranted back as Bristle tried to hide a short chuckle. I quickly crossed my hooves in confusion. “You don’t even know if it’s fixable yet; you shouldn’t give up on things you’re interested in that quickly, Kieran.” Shining coached me with a bit of a warning. I guess I could see where he was coming from, but I’d never had to deal with magic before, so it all felt a bit unattainable in my eyes. After a moment, Shining stopped moving and craned his neck again. He held a free hoof up and pointed at my head. “A lot of ponies seem to think they should only always listen to what’s up here.” He leaned his muzzle forward and nudged my chest. “When they really might need to listen to their hearts.” “That’s corny.” “It’s true.” He remarked right back, giving me a large smile. “So you think I should just always assume I’ll get my magic?” I asked with raised brows. He nodded. “Don’t you think it’s a little bit more fun to look at it that way?” I couldn’t help but smile as I expelled air in a huff. The way he’d worded to me what equates to “think on the bright side" was amusing and endearing. Well, he was right! I didn’t want to give up on magic, flying, or really anything that normal ponies could do. And even if the pessimistic side of me said it was hopeless and sometimes came out and voiced as much, I think I could at least agree with Shining about this one thing. “You really believe I can do it?” I asked hopefully. Shining nuzzled me shortly. “I think you can do anything you set your mind to, Kieran. With help, of course. Just get that confidence and positive outlook up, and you’ll go far, Kieran. I know it!” He finished with a sincere nod. A large smile spread on my muzzle. “Alright then, I’m going to be the best at magic when I fix it. And maybe flying too! Now you can't stop me.” I said confidently. Shining nodded resolutely and ruffled my hair slightly. "And I wouldn't want anything different." He replied happily. Bristle waited with a smile before continuing onward, with Shining close behind. Bristle cleared his throat, seemingly flustered to say what was on his mind. “Excuse me, Sir Shining, but you may need to work on your… encouraging talks. You’re very lucky that Kieran is a good interpreter.” Shining almost tripped over himself while walking, as a flustered blush appeared on his face. I fell backward and died laughing. Flurry and Cadance were relaxing outside of a small cafe amongst the snow-capped streets of the Empire. Surrounding their table were two guards, wearing shiny purple armor tinted with a vanilla-like color and the crystal family crest adorning their necks. The family's personal guard was their occupation—the best of the academy, the top of their class. But even the stone-cold expressions from the mare and stallion guard duo could not prepare them for the squeal that Flurry released, sending them both into a small shock, expecting some sort of threat. Though they quickly stood back at attention after Flurry expressed herself through words instead of sounds. “Momma! They have a new green peppermint and white chocolate flavor!” Flurry said excitedly as she looked over the menu. Cadance laughed gently as she waved her hoof pleadingly, “Yes, honey, calm down a bit. There are other ponies around.” Flurry glanced around; there were a few ponies drinking their own set of drinks and many ponies walking the streets. The two royals would catch many glances, but the crystal ponies were used to their family walking the streets and engaging with many of the local shops and families, so it never felt too out of place to walk the streets. Of course, the guards always insisted on coming, unless Cadance managed to slip out undetected. Though she often just gave up that idea and allowed them to join her, it gave them breaks from guarding the same old castle hallways day in and day out. The waiter came and took the two’s order, a mare they were both very familiar with, especially with how many prior visits they’d had to the particular establishment. As they were waiting for their order, Flurry eyed the modest pile of packages and bags set beside their table from their shopping. She laid her head on her hoofs thoughtfully as her smile cast downward a small bit. “Do you think everyone will like their gifts?" Cadance eyed her with a raised brow and asked, “Did you pick gifts they wouldn’t like on purpose?” She laughed. Flurry’s cheeks went red as she crossed her hooves. “No! Of course not! I meant, like… really like them.” Cadance smiled at her. “I think they will like that their adorable little niece went to such an effort to make them happy.” Flurry was satisfied with that answer, and she sat in silence, staring at the pile a bit longer. Eventually she sighed, “Do you think… I can find something for Kieran?” She asked. Cadance tilted her head and pursed her lips. “I was wondering if you wanted to get him something. What do you think he’d like, honey?” Flurry felt flustered as she shook her head with a small grumble, “I don’t know! He doesn’t own anything at all. Not a blanket, not a toy; he doesn’t even have a toothbrush for himself, Momma!” Cadance lifted both her hooves, waving them to try and calm her. “Hey, honey, don’t you worry about that. Me and your father will get that sorted.” Flurry stayed quiet, still brooding in her thoughts as the waiter came and left their drinks with a bow of their heads. Cadance sighed at her daughter’s mood shift but nonetheless began to enjoy her drink. Reading a local newspaper as she relaxed. Flurry idly played with the straw in her drink, pushing it in circles around her white chocolate and green peppermint drink she’d been so excited about minutes before. Cadance glanced up multiple times, wondering what could possibly have caused her mood to switch in such an instant. Though she thought that Flurry might just be thinking of a gift for her double, the expression on her face was nigh unreadable. And Cadance liked to think she had her daughter completely mapped out in the emotional department. It was a minute later when Flurry stopped pushing the straw, and with a huff, she set both hooves on the table a bit angrily. “Why don’t you just adopt Kieran already?” Cadance’s eyes widened, and she struggled hard not to spit her drink out in surprise as she finished her sip and coughed a few times. When she lifted her head, Flurry was staring her down angrily with an expectant stare. “Honey, where’d that come from…” Though Flurry interrupted her mother, “What do you mean you and Daddy will do something about Kieran having nothing? He doesn’t even have a home yet, Momma.” “Flurry…” Cadance said sadly. Flurry pursed her lips a bit in impatience, turning her head to look at the female guard standing behind her chair, a crystal white pony with even whiter hair. “Silver Drift?” The guard turned quickly while standing at attention, “Yes, my lady?” “Do you think momma should adopt Kieran?” Flurry asked while crossing her hooves. The guard seemed surprised and began looking quite unsure. “Ye-... Well, that would be… I can’t… My lady, it’s not my place to say.” The guard stuttered between responses a bit nervously, occasionally eyeing Cadance with worry. Cadance groaned and let her head fall into her hoof. “Flurry, don’t bring your poor guard into this…” Flurry continued quickly, as if nothing happened, as her guard returned to their post. Her voice wavered a bit. “If he doesn’t have a home, how can he enjoy something simple like a gift?” Cadance had no words initially, only giving her daughter a sympathetic look: "Honey, it’s… it’s not…” She sighed, trying to come up with the words. “I need him to like it, Momma; if he doesn't, then… then…” The confused and conflicted face on Flurry made Cadance worry. The filly had obviously been thinking about this for most of the day, if not longer. “Then what, sweetie?” She asked gently. “Then he won’t remember me!” Flurry said all of a sudden. To Cadance’s surprise, Flurry started tearing up. “So I need to get him something that he’d really, really love, in case he goes and lives somewhere else. Because you and Daddy haven’t adopted him or even asked him about it. And he deserves a home, momma.” Cadance lowered her head to eye level with her. “Shh… Flurry, calm down… He’s told us he’d like to stay already, dear; we aren’t sending him away any time soon.” Cadance knew the filly’s fears were a little silly, but to her, they were real. So instead of brushing it away, she chose to listen with intense worry. Flurry huffed again. “I want Kieran to have a home, not just a place to stay.” Cadance knew there was no good answer for Flurry or that her answer may not satisfy her unless she gives the most honest one. This was one of those times where, no matter how much preparation you make, you’ll never truly know how to tackle the situation. Especially when your daughter is involved. “Flurry, Kieran didn’t have… a good life. You know that, right?” She avoided eye contact a bit as she crossed her hooves. “Kinda…” she muttered. "Listen." Cadance sighed and walked around the table to sit in front of her daughter. “We don’t want to rush things and scare him off; the people he used to trust treated him very badly, and a couple of days with us isn’t going to undo all of that trauma quickly.” She paused and looked down at her hooves sadly. “Do I want Kieran to trust us and believe we’re always there for him? Yes, yes, I do. But you can’t force somebody to love or trust; you have to show them that they are wanted, and then it all comes naturally.” Cadance watched as Flurry’s anger subsided, and she made eye contact again. Cadance lifted her hoof and wiped the tears out of her eyes. “And just because he isn’t your sibling or our foal doesn’t mean that he can’t have a home here. Home can be wherever somepony feels the safest, the happiest, and all the other little things.” “But if you told him that you were his new mom and dad, wouldn’t that make it easier to get him to understand?” Flurry asked innocently. “Because you’re both so good at it!” She followed up happily. Though Cadance couldn’t help but smile at that, she found herself frowning again: “Flurry…” Struck with the inability to convey the reality that the young alicorn didn’t understand, Cadance sighed again. “I wish it were that simple, dear.” Flurry only tilted her head at Cadance’s words, making the mother smile again as she petted the top of her head. “It’ll all come along with time; just be a good role model, okay?” She reassured her. Flurry nodded with a small shrug. “Okay, I’ll keep being good, momma.” Cadance stood up and tapped the table assertively, “And finish your drink! I didn’t get it for you for nothing.” She reprimanded her playfully. Internally sighing in relief that Flurry was able to be convinced not to rush things. The filly had relented, but Cadance could tell that it wasn’t the end of it. She definitely had some stewing in her mind once again, but Cadance couldn't be bothered to coax it out just yet. As we finally neared the end of the extremely long hallway, we took a left turn into a short hallway with many more guards than usual. Most of the guards did a short bow before standing at attention as we passed by. Once we reached the large door, Shining levitated me off his back. I tilted my head questioningly as he kneeled on one hoof in front of me. “Hopefully this won’t take long, but you probably don’t want to follow us in Kieran.” “Why?” I asked, glancing at the door and Bristle once again. Shining rubbed the back of his head. “It’s… just going to be boring talk.” Suddenly, lightbulbs went off in my brain, and my face fell into a dejected frown. “Let me guess, Smoke Strike?” Shining furrowed his brow and released a long sigh as he got even farther down in front of me. “Hey, don’t worry about it, okay?” I just shrugged and turned my head away. Shining seemed to accept that as approval. “Just wait around out here; don’t wander too far in this huge place; you’ll get lost.” He chuckled before standing up. He joined Bristle, and they both disappeared behind the dark wooden door. As the door clicked shut, I sat there for a minute wondering if I should’ve tried to stop Shining, but I knew it was a bit of a helpless situation in that regard. I looked up and around me, and the half-dozen guards around me quickly averted their eyes to stare straight at the wall in front of them again. I decided to stand as I made my way back out of the hallway. The far back side of the courtyard was still within view, and after exiting the small hallway, I sat behind the railing, my head only reaching the first wooden bar. But hey, it was perfectly sized for resting my head over my hooves. The squad I was watching wasn’t nearly as interesting; they were all pegasi and doing pushups, but only with their wings. I didn’t think wings would be strong enough to hold their weight, so it was at least physically impressive. I watched for a few minutes as they finished their push-ups and stood back at attention. Thankfully, I could hear the female guard instructor from here: "Alright, you headless chickens! You know the drill; we’re doing flying course D today!” She paused, and I felt I could see almost every trainee’s discomfort. “I don’t want to hear any moaning or groaning. And I certainly better not see any slacking!” She yelled while giving them all a calculative look. “Now get to it!” All the trainees seemed to know exactly where to go after that. I sat up as my interest was drawn more, as they formed two single-file lines in front of a starting line. On both my left and right, I could see an identical set of rings positioned above the ground at varying heights about a story up. Some were extremely narrow, others were oddly shaped, but they were clearly meant for precise flight practice. After the commander gave them their signal, the two first trainees shot off into the sky. Well, I say shot off; both of them got through exactly two rings before banging some part of their body on the third and plummeting to the ground. The commander face-hoofed before calling the next two out. They were doing slightly better, making it up to at least ring seven. At which point you essentially needed to make a nose dive from high up, pull back last second to not hit the ground, tuck your wings in, and shoot through a small hole. But I winced and closed my eyes as both hit the side of the ring at full speed. It went on like this for a shockingly long time. I’d say both sides went through about six trainees, with all of them failing somewhere in the first seven rings. They seemed like a relatively new bunch of trainees, so I guess it wasn’t really much of a surprise. My eyes wandered farther down the field for more interesting training sessions. But nothing was really visible from this far back, and I sighed. I glanced back at my own wings. I watched them twitch a bit as I used the muscle, which was not something I did often. Especially after I learned that even flying required pegasus magic, which I guess makes sense. You can’t just slap a bird's wings on a horse and expect it to carry the weight. Sure, I could spread my own wings, and I could even flap them; it didn’t do me much good, but it was there. I smirked as I remembered my first two weeks, jumping off the box in my alleyway as I desperately flapped my wings. Of course, I always face-planted into the ground, often getting even dirtier and wetter than I already was. At least Pickles was always there to cheer me on. Man, would I love to fly… And do magic… Or be able to feed myself. I groaned a bit as I held my head, trying to keep my mind from becoming a jumbled mess. “Private Brisk Mane, do you think you’re up for it?” The instructor called, and I lazily glanced back up at the crowd. A brown pegasus with a mix of dark blue and green hair stood up to the starting line and saluted. “I believe so!” The instructor nodded with a smirk. “Well, then show these slacking recruits how it’s done!" My interest was piqued now, especially with how confident she seemed in the trainee’s abilities. They counted down once again, and I could immediately see why when taking off. The Brisk Mane guy was like a rocket, clearing the first two rings before the opposing side could even get near the first ring. I sat up in full attention now. As he cleared hoop four and five in the blink of an eye, as he approached six, I waited and watched for the dive. But as I was already anticipating the drop, he’d already shot through without much effort. I could definitely see why the instructor was hyping him up. Even with the guy’s larger frame compared to some of the other trainees, he hadn’t stumbled or hesitated once. After the seventh loop, there was an instant climb up about two stories where two medium-sized hoops waited at an almost impossible bend, which he cleared with ease. Then the last two were both tiny hoops that were horizontal, and you had to tuck your wings while also flying upward, which seemed like an impossible feat. Until the guy managed to clear it without a sweat. I was enamored by his maneuverability and was rather surprised he hadn’t garnered any sort of praise. As the pegasus dove back through the last two hoops, I realized why. You were supposed to do the course in reverse after hitting hoop ten. I watched in awe as he cleared back through each hoop with precision. Even the opposing side had stopped to watch him do the course. The opposite direction was much the same, and he shot through the last hoop and landed on the ground, skidding to a halt as his hooves made a line in the dirt. I was surprised it didn’t have a trail of fire following after it as well. The instructor nodded and started clapping for him, and the rest of the trainees did as well. I felt compelled, but that’d be a bit awkward. I heard a surprisingly nearby sigh, released from somebody as if they were daydreaming. “He’s so cute…” I heard them whisper to themselves. I leaned back and away from the railing I was practically underneath and realized there was a pegasus mare standing only inches from me, her gaze thoroughly fixed on the field, and obviously her crush. The guy even had a secret admirer, it seems. The mare was cream-colored, with an orange and yellow-ish mane. She wasn’t a trainee, since she had a full suit of armor on. Were guards allowed to just stop and gawk at crushes like that? I guess it wasn’t really that bad. The guy had put on an impressive show after all. But had the mare really not noticed me? I was looking up with a raised brow. If she’d noticed me, she made no indication, her head resting on a hoof as she stared after the stallion with admiration. For a second, I just thought about walking away, but she’d likely notice that and feel awkward about it. So I sighed quietly before daring to talk. “Um, hello?” I asked questioningly. At once, the mare retracted from her dreamy stare and looked all around herself in panic before finally looking down at me. And when she met my raised eyebrows, the last thing I expected her to do was flinch and release a yelp. Which caused me so much sudden surprise that it caused me to get jumpscared at the same time and fall onto my back with a loud thump. I stayed on my back for a while, groaning as I stared at the ceiling with disdain, wondering how I’d let someone scare me when I was watching them the whole time. More out of shame, really. The mare seemed to recover from her sudden panic attack, only to be replaced by another one when she gasped. “Princess Flurry Heart! I’m so sorry!” She immediately kneeled downward and looked for injuries, but I pushed her hoof away with a huff and sat back on my haunches. “Please forgive me!” The mare squeaked. I dusted myself off with a sigh before looking up at her terrified face. “You’re good… I guess? But I’m not Flurry.” She stared for a minute with a furrowed brow before the lights in her head went off. "You're... Kieran then, right?” She seemed to be looking at me more in wonder than anything. I just nodded. “The one and only.” But to my surprise, she bowed again to such lengths that her muzzle was practically buried in the floor. “Not only did I scare you, but I called you by the wrong name; please forgive me, Prince Kieran.” Huh, how did word of my preference to be considered a male travel that fast? Was that Shining’s doing? Wait… Prince? I suddenly laughed out of surprise and shook my head wildly. "No, no, I’m not any sort of prince.” Anything to get her to stop bowing in front of me was fine; it made me feel wildly more important than I actually am. She stopped her bow inches from the ground to look up in surprise. “O-Oh, I guess you’re right. You didn’t exactly get a coronation or anything…” She trailed off. As her eyes wandered nervously, she set them back on me curiously. “But I still feel I need to address you formally in some way.” I sighed with a small groan. “You really don't; I’m not going to tell anybody you didn’t kiss the ground I walk on.” I said with a jokingly short eye-roll. She blushed, as she seemed to have come to terms with that. “Oh, okay, well… Maybe let’s start over then?” She offered, which made me tilt my head. She cleared her throat and saluted, “Recruit Honey Flitter at your service.” She lowered the hoof and smiled widely. “Most just call me Flitter, though. It’s nice to meet you.” I nodded and held my hoof out while giving her a friendly smile. “Likewise! I don’t really have any fancy titles or a last name, but I’m Kieran. Nice to meet you, Flitter.” I replied with a sheepish laugh. She smiled brightly; there didn’t appear to be a single mean bone in her body. If anything, she came across as a quiet and gentle mare. But she was a full-fledged guard, so who am I to talk? She gripped my hoof firmly but was still gentle. After she gave me a firm shake, she brought her hoof back and placed it against her chin with intrigue. “Hmm, I know you’re not Flurry…” She trailed off as she began to circle me. I tried to follow her with my head, but I was too confused by what she was doing. After she made two laps around me, she stopped and gave me a curious head tilt. “So why do you let yourself look the same? Won’t it be less confusing or something?” She became flustered again as she bowed her head. “It’s just an observation! It’s fine if you like it!” She defended, and I felt like she was about to pass out from nervousness still. My mouth opened to answer, but I quickly closed it as my mind blanked. Why did I just walk around looking exactly like Flurry? To be fair, I’d been stuck in the castle and had no real reason to seek out a change. But to be fair, it might help me feel more separated from Flurry as an individual. “I… don’t really know.” I answered her honestly. She pursed her lips with a hum and shook her head. “Forgive me for imposing, but would you like me to try my hoof at it? I’m off duty today.” I shrugged and nodded eagerly. If someone was offering to give me a new style, I wasn’t going to shoo her away. She began walking slowly, checking back to see if I was following. I looked between her and Smoke’s door and said, “I don’t know if I can… Shining told me not to wander…” She waved her hoof dismissively. “Those meetings always take ages; I’ll have you back before the meeting is even halfway over, I bet.” She puffed her chest out confidently. “But just to be safe..." She trailed off as she approached the first of the many guards sitting outside Smoke Strike’s door, relaying to him where we would be going. The guard seemed unsure but eventually nodded in agreement. With that, Flitter approached me, nodded, and began leading me down the hallway. As we were walking, I glanced around at a couple other off-duty guards and asked her curiously, “Why are you wearing armor if you’re off duty?” She laughed, “It keeps people from bothering me when I’m in the academy. They think I’m busy.” She blushed after saying that. I smirked a bit knowingly. “So that you can spy on your crush?” “Spy!?” She remarked back with a huff, waving me off with the fakest laugh I’d heard: "No, no, no… Foals are so silly. I was just making sure there weren’t any injuries." I sighed and laughed quietly. “Hey, you were the one gawking right above me. But if you’re too embarrassed to admit it, that’s okay.” I held in a snicker as her back went straight as an arrow and her face went beet red. You know, the more I think about it now, stranger danger red flags and alarms should be blaring right now. Some random mare offers to take me away from my guardian to take me to her room and “style my mane”? That was just asking for trouble. “W-Well, me and him are just in the same class! A-And I really just think he’s really impressive and-” Yeah, nevermind; she had the word honey in her name for a reason. I don’t think this mare could hurt a fly, even if she wanted to. Especially if she was so flustered by me poking a bit of fun. > 13 - Frame of Mind > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Is this really your barracks..?” I questioned her worriedly as we entered a small room. I would liken the inside to a prison cell. There was a small bed with the thinnest of mattresses around in the far back, a small sink, and a mirror in the corner by the door. With one window so high up you couldn’t look out, along with it being the size of a slightly larger closet, it really gave off prison vibes as the sun just barely shined through, making the already dreary and dark hole a bit less awful. It also didn’t help that the walls and floor were all made of the same purple-ish brick. Replace the door with bars, and there you have it. She laughed slightly and said, "It's, uh… better than the rooms you have to share before graduating.” She walked over and tried to make the bed look a bit more presentable. “They aren’t very big on… comfort.” As she said that, one of the springs under her bed snapped and sent the spring bouncing across the room. I just lifted my eyebrows as she smiled to hide the concern of such a disaster. But I shrugged only a few seconds later, “Well, that sucks. And you’re stuck in here?” I asked frankly. She hummed in agreement as she began to slowly take off her armor. “It’s only temporary, until I get stationed in a position. I graduated only last week.” “What’re your options?” I asked absentmindedly as I looked into the large mirror in the corner. “There’s three; technically, four? Options.” She grunted as she unstrapped her body armor. “The Empire’s border, where you watch for threats out in the snowfields.” I tilted my head. “Threats? There’s actually like… monsters or something?” “Eh…” She trailed off, “There’s the occasional snow beast or windigo, but those are rare.” Windigo? Like… a wendigo? I felt a shiver run through my spine. I think I’m better off not knowing for now. But if there were cryptids in this world, then that would make things even more crazy. “Then there’s the street guards, the station guards, and finally the castle guards themselves.” She must’ve finished taking her armor off as she shuffled it into a corner. “But castle guards are unneeded as of now; there’s a special selection process. But there’s no spot available even still.” I hummed, “Yeah, those are the ones with the fancy shiny purple armor.” I realized with intrigue. “What do you mean by the selection process? Is it like a test… or?” “Lots of potential factors. Being top of our squad in combat, loyalty towards the Empire, and the years of service we’ve put in, whether you’re a crystal pony also plays a factor. She replied with a sigh. "Well, that’s sort of racist.” I muttered. “What does that mean?” She asked innocently. I fake laughed to cover my words as I turned towards her. "Oh, it’s… nothing.” She tilted her head at me as I finally looked at her without all her armor. My eyes widened, and I stared for a minute. “You look way different than I imagined.” I said truthfully. She had a concerned look on her face. “Oh, sorry about that.” Despite her large build, she looked rather shy and timid and certainly acted as much. And she was so polite about everything. “Don’t be! You look pretty.” I quickly countered with a smile. She blushed bright red. “Thank you… I might be a little old for you, though.” The surprise of her saying that made me nearly choke on the air I was breathing. I didn’t know if she said that as a joke or if she was actually being serious. When I looked up, she was giving me a knowing smirk of playfulness, and she stuck her tongue out. “Just kidding.” She said sweetly. I laughed; I was, however, being truthful. I hadn’t expected her hair to look well kept and styled under the armor. Both her mane and tail were curled quite heavily, and her cutie mark was that of a green shield covering a honeycomb. Though I couldn’t help but ask the obvious, “How does your mane look so different without the helmet?” “Magic.” She said it simply, with a small wink. Though I completely believed her if that was an actual explanation, I laughed as she hauled a box over to me and set it by the mirror. "Alright, let’s get your mane looking as good as mine.” She said confidently. “Oh really?” I smiled evilly. “I think I’ll tell Princess Flurry you think her mane doesn’t look good." She smirked, “Nice try. You’re a bad liar, though.” I huffed and puffed my cheeks out as she rummaged through the box of equipment. “So, what kind of style are you thinking?” I asked. “And what color? Like red and black, maybe? Oh! Are you going to cut it at all?” I questioned her excitedly. She looked up wearily, “I don’t think I should be coloring or cutting your mane without permission from somepony. Besides the fact that I don’t exactly have the means to do that…” She commented lightly as she brought a brush and a few bottles out. “But I can certainly still make it look different.” “Oh…” I said slowly, a small amount of disappointment seeping into my tone. “I’m sorry; I’ll try my best to make it fit you still! I promise.” She looked at my face through the mirror, and I couldn’t help but nod at her with a large smile. That seemed good enough for her, and she quickly set after my mane. Shining gave one last glance backwards at Kieran before stepping his way through the door. Bristle generously shut it right behind him and stood at attention near the door, as if the two hadn’t just been having casual conversation a few minutes ago. Shining looked over towards the desk as Smoke Strike quickly stood up and gave a much larger bow than usual, going down to one hoof. “Sir Shining, it’s a pleasure to be meeting with you today.” Shining raised his eyebrow and let out a sigh. “At ease.” Smoke nodded, leaving his bow to return to his position at the table. In all honesty, Shining couldn’t help but think the stallion looked like a poor foal who’d been called into the principal's office. The tell-tale sign of a regretful expression, whether true or not, along with his minor fidgeting. Shining took a seat across from him, “Smoke strike-” “I’m sorry, Sir Shining!” Smoke Strike spouted out, bowing his head in regret. "My words were callous and thoughtless; had I used my brain for even a moment, I wouldn’t have dared to speak ill of young Kieran!” Shining looked backwards at Bristle, and they both shared a raised eyebrow. Smoke continued on, unfettered by their silent confusion. “I was having a terrible day, and I wasn’t aware of your attachment to the young foal-” Bristle butted in quite abruptly, “You’d been told countless times of the situation, Smoke; don’t try and play that card.” Smoke’s eyes widened as he looked up. He sighed dejectedly, “I wasn’t listening well enough; it was a stupid mistake. I’m sure Kieran is a wonderful young foal.” Besides the fact that Shining could see the sourness on Smoke’s face when he said those words, he wasn’t about to snap at him. Bristle had already done so, and if Shining knew anything about his wife, he’d already gotten a letter that likely threatened every part of the unicorn’s livelihood. “You know, Smoke, it really doesn’t bother me that some of the guards have a point of contention with Kieran. I do personally believe myself that Kieran was acting purely on fear, but some of his pranks certainly were…” Shining rolled his head a bit as he searched for the right words. “Kieran could have been nicer, yes.” Both Bristle and Smoke looked at him in surprise, but Shining quickly jumped back in. “But what do you expect me to do, Smoke? The foal lost his entire world, his body, and countless other personal things. He died—actually died! The poor kid’s traumatized!” Shining took a few deep breaths. “Do I think Kieran could apologize to some of the guards? Yes. But I’m not sending him out to do community service in the middle of winter!” Shining’s voice was firm and commanding, as if he were instructing a group of recruits. Smoke stuttered, "N-No, sir, I wasn’t hoping you’d put him through something like that." “If I may, Shining,” Bristle said, stepping forward a bit. “It’s almost Hearth’s Warming; the guards here should almost all be okay with passing Kieran on his actions. Nobody was seriously hurt, even if they could’ve been.” Shining looked back at Bristle, giving him a nod of acknowledgement, before facing Smoke again with less stoicness. “I don’t think Kieran has ever really had a father figure.” Shining admitted as the two watched him curiously. Shining’s shoulders relaxed. “So while I disagree with his actions, he didn’t know any better. Even Kieran thinks what he did was wrong; he has told us many times. He even begged Cadance not to send you the letter, Smoke.” Smoke’s eyes widened, and he lowered his head a bit in shame. The room was silent for a minute, until Shining released a loud hum. “So, can we all just agree to forgive and forget? Cadance and I aren’t going to allow him to run around and abuse guards, so…” Shining took a deep breath. “We swear on our crowns that he will not cause any more trouble for the Empire.” Bristle huffed. “Shining this is completely unnecessary." Shining held his hoof up. “I know Kieran enough now that I trust I can make this promise. From here on, he will be nothing but good for The Empire.” Bristle shook his head a bit disbelievingly, but he shrugged it off as both stared at Smoke, waiting for an answer. The unicorn smiled wryly. “Of course, Sir Shining, you’ve made a promise I can’t deny. I have full faith in your words.” He finished with a salute. "So, what did you do?" I kept my eyes closed as Flitter asked me that question, but I couldn’t keep surprise out of my words. “When? Who? What?” She giggled as she continued to spray around my head and lather my hair. “The guards, silly. A lot of them seem to think you’re the second coming of Discord for some reason.” “Oh, that…” I trailed off with gritted teeth. “Wait, who’s Discord?” “Spirit of chaos,” Honey Flitter replied nonchalantly. “Okaay… Spirits of chaos, cryptids, dragons—what the heck does your world not have at this point?” I listed it with a huff of amusement. “You’re avoiding the question!~” She replied in a song-like tone. I crossed my hooves and said, “I’m not! I’m genuinely surprised you guys have all that fairytale book stuff.” I sighed afterward, my hooves falling back to my sides. “The reason all the guards are mad at me is because I played a bunch of pranks on them before Cadance and Shining found me.” She laughed, “Pranks? Some harmless pranks from a foal caused all those rumors?” She asked in disbelief. I shuffled uncomfortably. “Harmless is… a light word to use." She rolled her eyes playfully, “Oh no, did you stick gum to their horseshoes? Knock on their armor? Throw a snowball?” She laughed at her own imagination. Once again, I shifted uncomfortably, rubbing my fetlock in a soothing way as fear crept into me. If I told her, would Flitter turn on me? Would she attack me? No, surely not; she wasn’t like that. But I knew that some guards were certainly hoping I’d get my comeuppance. She stopped messing with my hair for a moment, as she must’ve noticed my sour mood and weariness. “Hey, it can’t be that bad, Kieran.” Flitter commented a bit worriedly. I opened my eyes a bit to see the concerned yet confused look on her face. “It’s okay. You can tell me.” She reassured me comfortingly. Though I guess most ponies were more open and willing to share stories with others, I wasn’t like most ponies. I’d only just met Flitter a little bit ago; I genuinely didn’t know if I could trust her yet. “Can I have those scissors?” I asked, pointing towards her box. She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, yet she obliged by grabbing them and handing them to me handle-first. I took them quite quickly, tucking them under my wing and closing tight to make sure they wouldn’t drop out. “Alright… gonna tell me now?” Flitter raised her brows, and as nervousness crept in even more, I looked all around the room for anything else sharp that could be used as a weapon against me. I guess my search looked frighteningly frantic as Flitter set her spray bottles down and sat in front of me, gentle as a feather, putting both wings on my shoulder. “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you, Kieran.” Her voice would’ve sounded almost hurt, but she seemed to sense that it was something deeper than mistrusting her. I barely trusted anybody, regardless of how kind they seemed on the outside. “Look at me,” she asked gently. I kept my eyes firmly on my hooves, releasing a sigh as I looked up at her eyes. There was concern written all over her face. “I’ve seen that look before,” Flitter mentioned. “I have five little siblings, so I know when one of them is terrified to tell the truth.” She continued, much to my surprise. “You don’t have to tell me if it makes you feel uncomfortable, alright? I’m just some random guard pony anyway." She said with a large smile as she rubbed the back of my shoulders with her wing in a soothing way. I sighed and nodded, but I couldn’t keep running from what I’d done forever. Cadance and Shining were obviously biased towards me, so confiding in them would certainly only be met with assurance that everything I did was fine. But I knew it wasn’t fine, so maybe an outside perspective like Flitter would help. Tentatively, I took a deep sigh. “They were not “fun” pranks. They bordered on cruelty more than fun. Well, I was having fun, but I feel disgusted with myself now.” Flitter sat back, taking her wings off me gently as she listened intently, both her eyes locked onto me. “I didn’t do them in the right state of mind… I was still really scared, and the only happiness I could get was from seeing the guards who were constantly on the lookout for me in miserable situations.” I looked up at her, but she still held a curious and understanding look. I closed my eyes and listed off my sins like I was confessing in church in front of the father or something: “I glued many guard’s spears and horseshoes to the ground with this magic instant hardening glue I stole. I would often drop cold water on packs of roaming guards. I would hide in alleyways, pretend to be a filly in danger, and call out for help, only for the guards to come running straight around an extremely slippery corner. They’d often pile up and slam into the brick wall when I did so. I stopped as my eyes teared up. But I cleared my throat and continued on, “O-One time these guards took their suits off in a cafe, I snuck in and filled their armor with black paint. I rolled a snowball so large in an alleyway and rolled it out and down a hill into a large group of guards; they mostly got flattened by it. I… I…” It really hurt recounting all of these—much more than I’d anticipated. “You get the point, right?” I asked hopefully. She stared at me in surprise for a bit, causing me to grow more and more worried. I clutched the scissors closer to myself. “Wow…” She replied eventually, blinking away her surprise. Her face was unreadable, and I watched as she sighed and lifted her hoof up. I flinched away from her and closed my eyes until I felt her hoof on my head. I peaked at her with one eye in surprise as she hummed curiously, “Your hair is so curly, it’s already fighting back the hair spray.” She commented with her other hoof on her chin. I tilted my head in disbelief. “You don’t hate me?” She huffed a bit of laughter. “You regret it, and you’ve already been forgiven by Cadance and Shining, right?” “I-I guess…” She smiled widely and shrugged. “Then it’s already fine! Everything has already come to pass anyway; all you can do now is leave that in the past.” I felt almost offended for some reason; I didn’t understand why. “B-But you heard what I said, right? I was super cruel to all those guards who were doing their jobs! You’re supposed to call me a psycho, or... or tell me to leave!” I said it with a laugh of disbelief. “I’m a terrible person, let alone a pony! I used to do similar things in my previous life when I was on the streets. I would lie and steal. I’ve always been like this! And I’m just pretending like I deserve to live in a castle now after everything I’ve done to people!” "Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Flitter said quickly, holding her hooves up and setting her wings back on my shoulders. “Calm down; breathe, little one. Deep breath, hold it for three seconds, then release.” I did as she instructed and shut my mouth, breathing heavily yet slowly for a minute or so, which really put into perspective just how close I was to another panic attack. She rubbed my back soothingly again and said, “It’s okay.” I stared down at my hooves as my breathing slowed down. Why was I telling her all of this? Why did I care so much about how I’d acted when I was being given a free pass? “Better?” She asked gently. I lifted my head, unable to make eye contact, though I simply shook my head. After a moment, she spoke again: “It sounds like there are a lot of deeper-rooted problems in there that I can’t honestly help with…” She trailed off with a sigh. “But you're being a bit too hard on yourself, don’t you think?” I shrugged, and she sighed again. When she stood up, I expected her to push me out of her room or simply go get someone else to do it. But I was surprised to find her sitting on my right, and she wrapped her whole wing around me like a blanket. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel bad or upset with yourself.” She paused to look down at me. “But you want to be a better pony, right?” Slowly, I nodded at her question, and her voice became softer again: “Beating yourself up doesn’t help.” She told me simply. I sighed at that. She was right, but it didn’t make me feel much better. She put a hoof over her chest, “I know that when I make a mistake, the first thing I do is think of how to not make the same mistake again. And foals are meant to make mistakes; that’s how they learn and grow.” I scoffed. “I was almost an adult in my world; I should be treated like one here too. But I’ve been hiding behind your stupid aging system to offset my awful behavior. I don’t deserve to learn and grow.” I said with a short huff. Flitter took on a rather serious look, and her voice took on a bit more of a judgmental tone. “Ah yes, roaming the street, stealing, lying—you must’ve been a paragon of adulthood in your past world.” Her words were a little bit hurtful. The look she was giving me reminded me of Cadance the night she found me. I flinched as she continued on, "Yes, our “stupid aging system” has a pony age until nearly forty to be fully grown. However, I’ve seen many ponies who are adults make terrible decisions, learn from them, and grow from them as well. Age isn’t really the problem; it’s how you were raised that made you do those things." She laughed. “Even when I was thirty-six, I was still making foalish mistakes sometimes.” I finally looked up at her, and she raised her brow. “We ponies like to hope that others can be the best versions of themselves that they can, but most of them can’t do it alone, and now that you have that opportunity to grow and change as a foal instead of being thrown into adulthood in your past life, you’re just shelling yourself up like a turtle. Hoping that someone will punish you instead of happily pushing you in the right direction as a second chance.” “But I’m not a pony,” I said so quietly that it sounded like a whisper. “And what if I’m already the best version of myself I can be?” She smiled and tilted her head. “The little foal that’s crying over people he hurt and is desperately seeking punishment from some random guardsmare? I feel as though you’ve already made many steps in the right direction without noticing. And if you’re not a pony right now, then I must be a tree.” She paused to study my face, which was a conflicted mess. “I bet your new parents wouldn’t want you to think of yourself as some sort of awful vandal.” She told me quietly. I sniffled to clear my nose. I wasn’t crying, but I had teared up a bit, at least. “Shining and Cadance? They aren’t my parents.” I said with a bit of amusement. She shrugged. “Well, they still care about you. And judging by the description of your past life, how many people can you honestly say that about?” My breath stopped a bit as I reminisced. I had a few friends, but they were always put off by my situation, so we often didn’t hang out when school was done. And I thought I had at least a semblance of family in my brother, Damon… He wasn’t really my family anymore, though. Anyone else would be completely alone in my situation, but... Cadance and Shining, Flurry... A subtle smile inched its way onto my muzzle again as I thought of them. At first, I thought they just wanted a perfect sibling for their precious daughter, but every day it felt like they were proving otherwise. And now they were the only ones I felt I could trust. They showed me so much kindness, even knowing what I did; they were a genuine gift to me. Compared to what I’d become accustomed to. And I was the same age as Flurry, but she was so carefree and always growing and changing. Maybe it was my human brain holding me to higher standards; maybe I was too hard on myself, but Flitter was right. As a human, I’d given up; nobody had really urged me to become better, not even Damon. In fact, the things I had done were mostly taught by him under the guise of survival. But with no need to fight for survival, there was no better place to try again; this was my final opportunity. I shook my head, wiping my tears away quickly as I stood up. "Sorry, Flitter, I didn’t mean to spring a therapy session on your hooves.” I said sincerely as I turned to face her. She giggled. “I have three little sisters and two little brothers; there’s lots of drama and long talks I have to do with them, so I’m used to it.” She laughed again. "Plus, I’m the one who brought it up, even though you were uncomfortable. But I think you needed to get all that off your chest anyway, so don’t worry about it.” She seemed to have something on her mind and quickly asked, “Why haven’t you talked about this with Shining Armor or Cadance?” I rubbed my hoof nervously again. “Sometimes I feel like they would just wave it all off as nothing. I also thought it’d be bad for me if someone just told me everything I’d done was okay… So I didn’t ask.” She shrugged. “I think you should confide in them more; you might be surprised.” I nodded in agreement. “I might; hopefully I won’t have to.” Flitter reached upward and began picking at my hair again. "Wow, this hair is so curly; it’s already trying to go back to normal shape.” She laughed, “Alright, I think I have an idea. Back in formation, soldier.” She told me playfully. I smiled and sat back down in the same spot as the hair treatment resumed, and I gave a short salute. “Yes ma’am!” “What do you make of it, Sir Shining?” Smoke asked a bit nervously. Bristle and Shining were both huddled around a report from a small guard station up in Appleoosa. Neither Shining nor Bristle could make heads or tails of it, and both were as confused as could be. Shining cleared his throat. “A blinding white pillar? Are we sure this wasn’t like... a comet?” Bristle huffed and took the report in his hoof, clearing his throat as he read it aloud. “Over the horizon out in the wasteland, a white pillar measuring approximately three inches in diameter from our position in Appleloosa. Estimated real diameter at thirty feet. Witnesses report that it reached all the way from ground level up to the heavens above and was gone within a mere couple of seconds. After thorough searching the following day, there was not a single trace of any remnant of magic, celestial object, or otherwise.” Bristle looked up from the page with a raised brow. “It sounds like guards who’ve spent a bit too much time out in that tiny town. Maybe they listened to one too many stories.” Smoke shrugged. “I have heard that Zenith has Vapor researching it for any past history. And that she has already sent herself and Wither Wisp out to investigate it on a private mission.” “Both of them?” Shining voiced in surprise and giving a slight huff, “That’s a lot of firepower for her. Guess that explains why she’s gone today.” Bristle hummed deeply. “She’s always doing things like this without orders." Shining waved his hoof dismissively. “She’s my only other Sergeant; I trust in her judgment. If she thinks it’s worth investigating, then who am I to stop her?” Smoke nodded. “Well, witnesses from all over have given similar descriptions of the event. It had to have been something.” Bristle hummed shortly, “A mass hysteria event, maybe? Discord? The mane six up to something?” Smoke just continuously shook his head. “You’d hope, but it’s doubtful.” “Well,” Shining muttered, “Has Twilight said anything?” Smoke tilted his head away. “Well, she told us to look into it for her. She said she was super busy with a much more important research topic, whatever that means. The letter was hastily written.” Shining just gained a large smile as he nodded in understanding. “Time will tell, I guess.” Shining replied to Bristle's and Smoke’s nods. “This has certainly been a visit.” Shining said with a short laugh, “But I think it’s time I go home and only worry about what kind of salad to serve to my family instead of all of this.” Smoke stood and bowed. “I’m so sorry for making you come in, Sir Shining. It won’t happen again.” Shining just raised his brows as he turned around. “It better not. Tell all the recruits who’re still brooding that they can either drop their grudge or get expelled from the academy. I don’t need such vitriolic ponies in my guard.” Bristle nodded as Shining passed by him. “I will make sure of it as well, Shining.” Shining stopped at the door and turned with a smile. “Have a good Hearth’s Warming, only message me if it’s important; blah blah, you know the drill. I’ll see you both soon.” They both bowed their heads with a short chuckle as the door closed on Shining with a click. A minute or two passed as Shining conversed with a guard outside the door and heard the steady sound of hoofsteps leaving. “You’re lucky he’s in good spirits.” Bristle said shortly with a huff. Smoke grimaced, “Yes, sir." “Make no mistakes, Smoke. I told Shining everything about our first conversation; I’m surprised he went so easy on you.” Bristle sighed. “Probably because he knows Kieran doesn’t want to make enemies. He bet his crown on the line that he can be a better role model for him in the future. Surely that’s satisfactory for your odd qualms?” Smoke raised his hooves defensively and said, “Plenty! That’s plenty of assurance, Sergeant.” “Great,” Bristle replied gruffly. “I have a small feeling that next time you make Papa Bear angry, it’ll be your throat. Or most likely your position.” He said with a short chuckle. Smoke raised a brow. “It won’t come to that; maybe he’s enamored by my charming looks." Bristle’s smile dropped at once, and he stared at him seriously. “Get back to work, Corporal.” "Yes, Sergeant, right away.” … … Shining exited the room with a heavy sigh, glad for everything to be over once again. As he looked up and around, he noticed a distinct lack of Kieran, and even as he approached the end of the hallway, he seemed absent. A guard at the end of the hallway saluted suddenly, “I’ve been told to relay a message, Sir Shining.” Shining gestured for him to continue as the recruit cleared his throat. “Kieran is with Recruit Honey Flitter in the barracks. She is currently off-duty and giving the foal a makeover.” Shining hummed in surprise as a smile tugged its way back onto his lips. He was mentally kicking himself for not asking Kieran if he’d like help styling his mane before leaving, but he was glad that he’d found a recruit who was willing to help. Honey Flitter was a name he recognized as well; she was always at the top of her classes in combat and nearly every other subject. “At ease, thank you, recruit.” Shining remembered to say this before heading off towards the barracks. “Are you almost done?” I said a bit impatiently as I tapped my hoof. “Almost.” “Shining’s got to be looking for me already.” I sighed. She giggled, "Well, for a babysitter, therapist, and hair stylist all in one, he better be paying me.” I opened my mouth to apologize again, but she gently closed my mouth. “I’m just joking, little one.” “Alright! I think that’s all I can do for now,” she told me. My eyes slowly opened to meet my face in the mirror. The filly staring back no longer looked identical to Princess Flurry Heart, but like a genuinely different pony with the same colors. My hair on top and in front was much more smoothed out, evening out in two ways. The hair on my back no longer curled so far up that it reached my cheeks but instead reached the top of my back with its length, even if it was still curled. It was held in place by a pearl-looking hair clip. My tail no longer curled as well, was completely straightened out, and instead pointed outward with its curls instead. The blue streaks in my hair on both my head and tail were combined into one long strand instead of being scattered throughout. The only thing that surprised me was the silver band around my tail. Flitter caught me looking at it and laughed, “It’s the only way I could keep it from curling all the way back up again. Is it alright?” I turned back to the mirror again and smiled at the filly in the mirror. It wasn’t everything; it wasn’t perfect, but it was something. And that was enough to make me swell with happiness. As I turned back to Flitter, I impulsively leapt towards her hoof and hugged it. She giggled and quickly wrapped her other hoof around my back. “Hey, it was no problem.” She told me as she blushed. I shook my head. “You have no idea how much this helps.” I told her. She giggled more and retracted her hoof to give a short, playful bow. “I should expect a five-star review, then?” I giggled and nodded before standing on my hooves, getting another look at myself in the mirror, and beaming with a bit more confidence. I put my hoof on hers and said, “Let’s go find Shining!” I said excitedly, practically jumping up and down. She laughed, foregoing re-equipping her armor to follow me outside the jail cell. The hallways glowed with the sun’s midday beams, and even the color of the place seemed a bit brighter than usual. I stopped dragging Flitter as she fell in line behind me. I was practically prancing through the hallway; I hadn’t felt this happy in a long while. I heard Flitter’s hoofsteps stop behind me. “Oh!” She said suddenly. I looked back, and she was searching herself before setting her eyes on me again. “I have to go get my badge; I’ll get in trouble walking around without it; it should only take a moment.” I nodded as she looked troubled. “Where did I put it?” She mumbled worriedly as she trotted back to her jail cell. I stopped in the hallway; to the left was some sort of locker room with a bunch of ponies coming and going from a different exit. There were plenty of trainees, but also regular guards as well. I was uncaring, however, choosing to stare out at the field as I hummed an old song I liked, bobbing my head with the tune. There was laughter from the room on my left: “Nice one, Brisk Mane!” Someone shouted. “Thanks everyone,” the guy replied humbly. I looked over to my left. Wasn’t this the pony Flitter had a crush on? Maybe I could be her wingman! Or… wingwoman? Wingmare? Hmm… I’m not a mare, though… And wingstallion? No, that’s stupid. “You totally killed it out there!” A recruit mare told him. Brisk Mane laughed as everyone in the room agreed. “I’m just glad everyone enjoyed the show!” He said. Suddenly, he looked in my direction, and his brow furrowed in confusion. Then, as if a sudden realization hit him, his eyes widened in surprise. “Is that Kieran?” He said quite loudly, as all of their heads turned to me. This was it; this was my chance to help Flitter out as her wingman! If Flitter had bowed to me earlier, what would these ponies do? All I had to do was wait for their questions to die down and slowly introduce Brisk Mane to Flitter. As more and more of the recruits looked over at me, I felt slightly out of place in the spotlight. What should I say? Who should I say it to? Should I address them all at the same time or- “What are you doing here?” One of the trainees next to Brisk Mane asked with a tilted head. I suddenly realized I was just staring at them awkwardly. "I'm just waiting for someone.” I replied with a sheepish laugh. A couple of trainees around Brisk Mane snickered, “Who let the fillycolt in?” One of them asked. “This isn’t a homeless shelter.” Another continued. Brisk Mane smirked and snorted laughter at that. “I don’t know; maybe she’s stupid or something.” Oh… That was right. Nobody here liked me. My smile fell, and I retreated against the wall, looking down at my hooves in shame as the three stallions erupted in laughter. Silly me, thinking I’d actually accomplished anything by sitting around and talking about feelings like it would actually help anything. Brisk Mane walked forward, his two friends flanking his sides. “Who’re you waiting for anyway?” “Nobody,” I mumbled quietly. “What was that?” Brisk Mane scoffed, “You’ve got real nerve showing up around here anyway. What were you expecting?” I felt my spine chill as I hunched lower and lower to the ground. “I… I…” One of his friends mocked me, “I… I…” They all laughed at his impression: “Like you said, man, she’s stupid. She probably doesn’t know why she’s here.” Brisk Mane and the others died laughing. Brisk Mane stepped forward, uncomfortably close. “What’s with you and your harassment of the guards anyway? What’s your problem?" I grimaced. “Why are you asking?” He laughed, "Because my dad was one of your “prank” victims.” He scoffed angrily. “His fur was stained black for a whole two weeks!” “Oh… I see.” I said quietly, my head falling even further towards the ground, “I’m sorry.” This had to be one of the most unlucky interactions I could possibly have. But in a way, it sort of felt funny, in an ironic sort of way. “Did you hear that, man? She said she was sorry~” One of the stallions said sorry as mockingly as possible. Brisk Mane reached forward and touched my mane. “The little freak thinks he’ll change himself, and anybody will care too!” They all laughed again. “Get your disgusting hoof off of Kieran!” They all looked up in surprise, as did I, as Flitter stormed her way in front of me and growled dangerously at the group. They all took a few steps back in surprise, and Brisk Mane raised his eyebrows. One of his friends nudged him, “Isn’t that the mare that gawks at you every day, man?” Flitter smiled sweetly before stepping forward. She practically towered over the entire group of stallions by at least a foot. “Yes, I did think he was cute. Until I saw him bullying a foal.” She glared dangerously at Brisk Mane, specifically, “So I’m not interested anymore. Any stallion acting like this must be compensating for something.” She said with an eye roll. Brisk Mane took a step forward angrily, and Flitter just raised her brow as she glared daggers. She leaned in closer, over his head. “What’re you gonna do, trainee?” Flitter challenged him, “Assault a guard because she put you in your place?” Brisk sneered and turned his head away. “You only made it through because of your freakish build. You're barely a mare; I would’ve never gotten with you anyway.” Flitter laughed. “And yet I’m a guard, and you are treading dangerous water.” Brisk took another step back as Flitter tilted her head sweetly. “Why don’t you run home to daddy and tell him you bullied a foal for him? Hmm? I’m sure he’ll be so proud of his little colt~” She ended mockingly. At this point, Brisk Mane’s two lackeys had backed off, not willing to deal with it anymore. Brisk Mane opened his mouth to speak, but shut it with a growl as he turned to leave. He was beginning to sulk off somewhere. Flitter scoffed, seemingly in disbelief at their cowardice. “So, what’s going on here?” A new voice asked commandingly, coming around the corner. All three of the trainees' blood ran cold as they turned, and all of their eyes widened in horror as Shining stepped around from the corner. “Sir Shining!” Brisk Mane said with panicked surprise as he forced his friends to bow as he did so himself. “How much did you hear- I mean... How can we help you, sir?” “I heard enough.” Shining trotted over to us, he looked at Flitter, gave her a smile and an appreciative nod, and looked down at me with an even bigger smile. When he set his sights on the three again, he let the fury of his expression finally take hold. “Firstly, you can pack your things and get out of my academy.” All of their eyes widened. “B-But… Sir!” Brisk Mane started. “But what trainee?” Shining barked back. “I came over here to collect my charge, and you’re sitting here insulting him!” Brisk Mane was trembling as he got down onto his stomach in submission. "Please, sir, my father will be furious; I’ll never do it again.” Shining raised his brows, “Your father deserves to be furious and disappointed. His son grew up to be a bully; most foals usually leave that behind in school." Brisk was merely just cowering at this point, and Shining released a loud sigh, “Five years, fix your attitude in five years, and maybe you three have a chance back on my guard. Go grow up a little more.” He commanded them. They all hung their heads low but stood back up and attempted a salute. Shining nodded. “Dismissed, citizens.” He added at the end with emphasis. As they sulked off, the entire room of trainees and guards tried to pretend they weren’t listening in on every word, even though it would’ve been nearly impossible to do otherwise. Shining cleared his throat. “If anybody else has an issue, I suggest you keep it to yourself.” The room unanimously nodded, and Shining shut the door with his magic. Turning to Flitter and me, he gave me a worried look as he got down on one hoof. “Are you okay?” He looked at my hair and laughed lightly, reaching forward to stroke my head. “I like the new look, buddy.” A slight smile started on my muzzle. I blushed and nodded eagerly, and I found myself taking a few steps forward and embracing his leg. "Thanks... I… I want to go home now…” I said quietly. Shining nodded. “Sure thing, buddy, I bet Cadance is home already too.” He lifted me up onto his back and nuzzled me gently. When he turned back to Flitter, he bowed his head and said, “Miss Flitter, I don’t know much about you, but I can’t express how thankful I am for your intervention. And your stellar mane styling.” He added on at the end with a short chuckle. She saluted, putting on a serious expression, “My pleasure, Shining Armor Sir; I’m glad to have made an impact!” “Flitter…” I mumbled nervously, “I’m sorry I ruined your crush for you.” She scoffed, “That guy? He’s cute, but after seeing his behavior, I wouldn’t date him if I was paid to. Probably just some spoiled rich fancy colt.” She said with a short eyeroll, before stopping herself with a short bow, “I mean no offense, Sir Shining.” Shining only patted her shoulder with a light chuckle. “No, I agree.” Shining looked back at me. “Ready to go?” Nobody would fault me for saying yes, nodding my head, and hiding in the castle for weeks. Which was more running from my problems and would eventually end up with me in the same situation some day. Except I might not have help again if it happens. Something was itching in my mind, and I grimaced before shaking my head. Shining tilted his head as I carefully jumped off his back. I gestured to the door, and Shining curiously opened it for me with his magic. I could feel my legs shaking underneath me, yet I forced myself to take one step at a time until I was back in the locker room. Until now, I’d been staring at my hooves, and when I looked up, I felt my heartbeat quicken at all the staring. The talking had gone quiet, and all eyes were on me. Just say something, one word at a time. “Um…” I voiced, my tone immediately dropping in volume. “So…” I squeaked quietly. I took more deep breaths, like Flitter showed me how to do, until my heartbeat was no longer racing. I shook my head and looked at the crowd, pretending they were all in underwear wouldn’t help; ponies don’t wear clothes much… “I just wanted to say..." I stepped forward a bit more. “I know w-what I did was wrong... A-And I really don’t want to be like that again. I promise I won’t go back to hurting anypony or causing trouble.” I paused for a second, daring to look backward. Shining had a look I don’t think I’d ever seen on anyone before, not when it was directed at me anyway. He gave me a nod as he beamed with pride. Flitter nodded rapidly and waved her hooves as if to urge me on. I turned back around with more confidence and said, “And I’m not being told to say this or urged to by anybody else. I’m saying this seriously, straight from myself, because I don’t want to be seen as Flurry’s evil clone.” That garnered a few chuckles, which made me blush madly as I lowered my head again. “So I hope you can all put my past actions behind me and see me as somebody new and different, so... yeah.” I finished, sinking into a quieter voice. The silence was deafening for a few moments. I knew I couldn’t hold up my confidence until the very end; maybe they thought I was still untrustworthy because of that? Maybe actions spoke louder, and my words would fall on deaf ears? Then one of them in the crowd stomped, and then another. I looked up in confusion as they looked around, urging everyone else to join. And before I knew it, the entire room was stomping their front hooves on the ground interchangeably. I took a few steps back carefully. "Uh... Did I say something insulting? Is this a sign of aggression?” I asked panickedly as I looked up at Shining. Shining chuckled deeply as he shook his head before he lifted me with his magic and set me on the back of his neck. “No, that’s a guard’s way of clapping. They think it’s cool, I guess.” Shining said with a bit of exasperation. “Oh…” The realization of what just happened hit me as their stomping died down and everyone returned to talking in joyful moods. I smiled and sat on Shining’s back. “That’s good." Shining laughed and turned around to nuzzle me multiple times. “I’m really proud of you, buddy.” Flitter put her wing on my back and said, “Good job; you really took what I said to heart!” She giggled afterwards. I laughed as I gently pushed Shining’s muzzle away. “Thanks, I had good help.” I blushed again and buried my face in Shining’s mane. “Can we go home now?” Shining laughed, nodded, and turned for the exit. Flitter stood still, waving at us as he carried me away. I lifted my hoof and gave another wave back. I don’t think things would’ve been nearly as good if Flitter hadn’t been here today. I stood up on Shining’s back and called out to her, “I’ll miss you, Flitter!” She held a hoof over her mouth and giggled. “Have a wonderful Hearth’s Warming, Kieran! Sir Shining!” Shining didn’t look back, but he nodded in acknowledgement at her words. And well, that had probably been my most productive day since I’d first been resurrected in Equestria. Well… It was probably my most productive day in a much longer timeframe than that. > 14 - Perfect Machine > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Starlight made her way through the halls of the grand Canterlot castle, her hooves clicking the only sound audible to her nervous self. It wasn’t often she was requested urgently by Twilight, especially not with the festival plans at the school of friendship in full swing. The royal Canterlot guard was as silent and stationary as usual, making her solo walk all the more nerve-wracking. Though she had a sneaking suspicion of why she was here, she wasn’t sure how much Twilight had already discovered. Upon reaching Twilight’s study chambers and the large sign that read “DO NOT DISTURB” as boldly and aggressively as it could, Starlight sighed and knocked. The door opened quite quickly by itself, startling the mare for only a second as she entered. The door quickly closed again the moment she was through the doorway. “Over here, Starlight.” This alone made Starlight even more curious, as she hadn’t expected such a calm response from her rather neurotic friend. Weaving through the unorganized stacks of books that littered the floor, turning it into a maze, she eventually found her way to the voice. Twilight sat at her desk, her head unmoving from the papers that lay before her. “So…” Starlight began awkwardly: “You requested me, princess?” Twilight’s ears flicked in her direction, and she met her friend with a smile and a small laugh. “Mhm, please, come sit.” Twilight said, gesturing to a seat directly next to her. “You know you don’t have to address me that way.” Twilight added at the end. Starlight almost breathed a sigh of relief at her friend's demeanor, now knowing she was managing to keep a level head. “If I had to guess,” Starlight mused while sitting down in the chair with a sigh, Twilight’s form nearly doubling hers in height. “You’ve been working with the data Sunburst sent you.” Twilight nodded slightly, her eyes still fixated on the many papers of analysis, ones that matched Twilight’s own messiness with the amount of unorganized data. “Is it... bad?” Starlight asked with a tilted head, fearing the worst as she cringed in anticipation. Twilight sighed, turning in her seat to look at her friend properly and laughing nervously. “By "bad,” is it bad if I have no clue what’s going on? Because… It’s bad.” Starlight’s heart sank. “Oh no…” She muttered sadly, thinking of what could be wrong and the extent of problems it would cause. “That poor foal.” She huffed angrily. “Starlight I-” Though Starlight was already overtaken with working out the details of the previous statement, “I mean, we need to do so much! An alicorn without magic? Oh, poor Cadance will be devastated. He’s not sick, is he? Should we think about getting a specialist out there? I mean-" “Starlight.” Twilight said a bit more firmly, getting her attention and releasing a small laugh, “I’m supposed to be the anxious one, not you.” And Starlight could see, though she joked, that Twilight’s patience was waning for the research. She was barely holding on to her own composure. It was absolutely killing her inside to be oblivious to the issue. Starlight let a small smile out before it washed away once again. “Hey, this is serious, Twilight; you know that foal means a lot to Cadance now.” Twilight nodded with a sigh. “I’m well aware; Cadance is very emotional about him in her letters…” Starlight adopted a downtrodden expression, looking down at her hooves in thought, “Which is why I don’t want to stop looking into this. It means too much…” She said calmly, settling her two front hooves together with a sigh before looking back up with a face of determination, “Alright, well, let me see what you’ve worked out; don’t hold back on me.” Twilight slid the files over, as well as her own papers, and as Starlight flickered through them with intensity, her eyes only grew more and more in confusion. “Sunburst wasn’t kidding... It’s just not working… at all." Starlight scoffed in near offense. “His magic is just rejecting him? Am I getting this straight?” Twilight nodded slowly, resting a hoof on her forehead. “Yep, you’re reading it clearly.” “B-But that doesn’t make any sense!” Starlight stammered, “Magic can’t just say no to its host; that goes against everything we know about magic.” Twilight huffed a short laugh. “It goes against harmony itself.” She placed both hooves on her face, rubbing it with disdain as she released a frustrated groan. “I mean, what am I supposed to tell Cadance? She’s counting on me to figure this out for her!” Starlight watched a bit helplessly as the nerves finally caught up to her friend and began to consume her thoughts. Starlight sighed, “We can’t tell her anything for sure yet." Twilight groaned, “We’re doomed. What do I do?" She began talking in a self-mocking way, "Oh, hey Cadance! Your newly adopted-but-not-really alicorn foal is actually never going to use magic because it hates him. Sorry about that!" She looked up and locked eyes with Starlight in fear. “She’ll turn into some sort of evil deity just like Luna did in the past; I can’t just let that happen! We’ll have another nightmare situation on our hooves!” “You did not just make up an insulting story about Cadance like that,” Starlight said with a small, disbelieving laugh. "Well, now it’s my turn to tell you to be serious.” Twilight huffed as she crossed her forelegs. “You’re right, you’re right.” Starlight said, taking a deep breath and looking over the files again with a hum. “Is there anything in here that stands out to you that may make sense?” Twilight started to shake her head. “I mean, he casts it correctly; he has perfect leylines; by all means, he’s a perfectly healthy alicorn foal.” “Maybe we’re going about this wrong,” Starlight muttered in thought. Twilight looked at her expectantly. “Well, obviously, the circumstances of him being here have something to do with his inability to cast magic.” Twilight put a hoof to her chin and scrutinized the papers again. “True, it’s very hard to come up with an explanation; it was a fluke on Flurry’s part that brought him here.” Twilight looked at her curiously and asked, “Do you think maybe his death had a part in it?” Starlight tilted her head, “Being revived from death is chaotic, especially when it seemingly has no side effects.” Starlight huffed, “Do you think harmony is rejecting Kieran because he’s actually a chaotic being?” Twilight laughed, “You mean like discord? No, it’s not the same.” There was a pause as they both returned to thought for a moment, “Then maybe he’s in between!” Starlight countered, “You know, maybe he’s not a being of harmony, and he’s not chaotic. He is just… somewhere in between.” Twilight hummed, giving the idea more thought than Starlight expected. “Do you really think it’s possible? For a pony to live outside of the boundaries of chaos and harmony?” Starlight shrugged. “We’re all in the dark on this; anything is on the table.” Twilight adopted a large, excited smile that uneased Starlight a bit. “Wait! What if I used some new spells I've been developing on him? If I remember correctly one of them was involved in body manipulation..." She declared excitedly. Starlight scoffed suddenly, as if choking on her own breath. “And potentially be wrong and end up murdering a foal? I’m out!” Starlight set her hooves back down on the table as Twilight’s face bunched up in thought again. “Okay, Twilight, let’s start over a bit before we go too crazy. What have you researched so far?” “Well,” Twilight hummed as she looked at the few stacks of books on the table. "First, I looked into reincarnation and any stories pertaining to bringing something to life.” Starlight raised her brows but continued listening. “Than I researched spells that could bring things back from the dead and took a deep dive back into alicorn magic theory-” Starlight’s eyes widened. “Necromancy? Twilight, that was your first assumption? I almost feel offended for Flurry! You don’t just do necromancy by accident. You know it’s forbidden; I mean, how would she even have access to something like that?” Twilight blushed sheepishly and huffed, “It fit the description the easiest.” Starlight stared at her incredulously. “Did you ever maybe research, I don’t know, conjuration?” Twilight’s growing look of nervousness told her all she needed to release a sigh of disappointment, “Fine, I’ll research something actually plausible while you make up fairy tales.” “I was getting to it!” Twilight rebuked with crossed hooves and a sour face. “But as far as I know, conjuration can’t create real living beings, let alone using the soul of a dead pony to give it life! It goes against the fundamentals of what I know about magic!” Starlight was rummaging around for books on conjuration as Twilight ranted, eventually coming back over to drop a pile of books in front of her. “You’re too close-minded about magic sometimes, Twilight. If it’s not in the books, you always denounce it. Who’s to say an alicorn can’t invent new types of conjuration magic? We don’t even know what domain Flurry has in the first place.” Twilight looked away in a bit of shame, knowing there was truth to those words. She remembers experimenting with magic so much when she was young, but now she's gotten a bit complacent. Starlight sighed as she dropped another stack of books, sitting down next to her. Twilight expected her friend to reprimand her a bit more, but was instead met with her hoof grasping her own. “Which is why you have me to help you.” Starlight reminded her while giving her a sincere smile. Twilight nodded gratefully, grabbing a book of conjuration off the top of the pile. “Thanks Starlight.” “You really didn’t have to do all of this, Silver Drift.” Cadance sighed as she watched the crystal mare unload the massive pile of gift bags and boxes from her back. A quantity of which seemed nearly impossible to fathom and even harder to balance. She was swift, however, placing them neatly on the floor in the center of the living room. The mare bowed her head afterward, a stalwart and perfect pose to her action, “Nonsense Princess, it was, and always will be, a pleasure to serve you and Flurry.” Silver Drift smiled before giving a hearty salute and standing back at attention again. Flurry patted her guard’s leg, "Thanks, Silvy. Go take a break!” She happily suggested. Silver Drift nodded thankfully, retreating from the family’s quarters and into the castle elsewhere. Cadance glanced over the pile of gifts with a tired sigh. “You really take Hearth’s Warming seriously, honey…” Flurry paced around the pile with an eager giggle. "Well, of course! I have to get gifts for Aunt Twilight, Aunt Luna, Aunt Celestia, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Rarity-” Cadance’s head went to mush somewhere in between as Flurry listed the dozens of recipients of her generosity. Though she was proud to have such a compassionate daughter, it certainly made shopping for them all quite an affair. She found herself lying down on the couch, stretching her body to its maximum length, and releasing a relaxed hum of contentment. “Momma, when are Kieran and Daddy getting back?” Flurry asked suddenly, sitting down at the base of the couch with a head tilt. Cadance kept her eyes closed, releasing another curious hum, “Whenever they’re done with their trip, silly.” Flurry sighed, her shoulders sagging a bit as she stared at the floor. “I’m worried about Kieran… Don’t the guards hate him? And Smoky?” Cadance peeked one eye open at her daughter and said, “That’s a problem for me and Daddy. Kieran will be okay.” “Oh yeah, true. Daddy will just beat them up.” Flurry said this without hesitation as she walked away to rummage through the gifts. Though she hoped everything would be alright, she could never know or be prepared if it wasn’t. Kieran had made many steps in the right direction; she believed that underneath all of his trauma was a truly brave and heartstrong young foal. The question that constantly plagued her was whether they were good enough to facilitate the little one from coming out of that shell. Could someone be better for him? Were they doing things right? ‘It’s a bit late to wonder if we’re doing it right,’ Cadance inwardly mused to herself. Cadance couldn’t help but let her mind wander to the worst possible scenarios. Thoughts of Kieran being mercilessly berated by the guards, and Shining and Bristle just barely holding back the angry mob. Kieran falling into an inescapable pit of despair that ruins the last bastion of sanity the universe was kind enough to gift to him, yet he’d feel so lonely, scared like the entire world is against him, and- … She took a long, deep breath. And good thing she did, as only a few seconds later did the front door burst open. Cadance sat up straight with a small jump as Kieran bound into the living room with more glee than she’d ever seen on him. It wasn’t just his cute little embarrassed smile; this time he genuinely looked like an excited little foal bounding towards his family. “Cadance!” He giggled, “I got my hair done!" Once he got close enough, he leaped, and Cadance caught him with her magic midair, levitating him over into her grip to hold the foal. She inspected his hair with an equal amount of excitement. “Oh my! You look so cute!” Cadance squealed as she held him up from under his front legs. Kieran laughed as he held his nose up high. “I am not cute! I look cool now.” He said with confidence that she had yet to hear from him since he got here. Cadance giggled and brought him close to her chest, giving him an affectionate nuzzle. Afterwards, she glanced upward at Shining, who was sharing a large smile with her. “You ruined my hair!” Flurry gasped with horror as she stood up on her back legs. Kieran glanced to the side and said, “Please, it’s an improvement.” He gave her a playful eye roll. Flurry growled and hunched downward, ready to attack, but Shining whisked her up into his arms before she could even start. “There’s my little filly!” He said, squishing his muzzle against the side of hers dramatically. “Hi daddy,” she replied, melting into his embrace. Cadance lowered Kieran from her hold a bit, brushing through his hair. “You look fantastic, Kieran. Who’s the artist? Shining can’t style a mane to save his life.” “Hey… I’ve had to do Flurry's... once.” Shining rebuked. Flurry scoffed, “I looked like a train wreck!” She crossed her hooves. A few seconds later, she glanced over at Kieran, putting on a smile. “I was just kidding, by the way; I like it, Kieran.” Kieran blushed awkwardly and stutered, “T-Thank you... It was a pegasus named Honey Flitter that did it all.” Cadance hummed, “I’ve never heard of her before." Shining chuckled. “Styling his mane was only a small part of that story as well.” Cadance nodded and reached her hoof up to boop Kieran’s nose. “How about you tell us the whole story of your day, hmm?” Kieran looked a bit more uncomfortable at that, but with a gentle back rub from Cadance, he eventually nodded. So the foal spent a while, and most of dinner, retelling his meeting with Flitter and everything she’d done for him. And even though he glossed over their conversation, it was clear that something Flitter had said had made a great impact on Kieran’s mentality. It was especially noticeable for Cadance, as Kieran didn’t look ashamed or annoyed as usual when she had to feed him dinner. What had Flitter said to him that had changed his perspective so much? Cadance couldn’t wrap her head around it; the only thing she knew was that her gratitude towards the recruit was grand. And she’d proven and settled something in Cadance’s heart that had plagued her all this time. She and Shining were doing just fine. “I am not touching that water!” I proclaimed greatly as Cadance levitated me over the warm bath. With the steam hitting my back, I clutched her front leg as hard as possible to stay out of it. She sighed worriedly. “Honey, please stop using your magic!” She reprimanded me as she pulled my hooves off her, subsequently cutting off my magic grip from reaching her. I instead crossed my hooves as Cadance gave me a worried head tilt. “Why don’t you want to be clean?” “I like being clean. I hate the feeling of wet fur.” I said with a huff, “It feels like I went swimming while wearing a full winter outfit, and you feel heavy and... Ick, it's nasty.” I said with a small shudder. She tilted her head at the comparison, and she sat down in front of the tub. “I promise to dry you off as quickly as possible,” she tried to convince me. "Please, would you let me clean your fur?” I raised my brow as she attempted to put on puppy-dog eyes. And well, ponies were good at it, considering how impressively large their saucer plate eyes were. I could feel the pull of my heart already, something urging me to give in to the cute stare. But just as I shut my eyes and was about to refuse again, Flurry poked her head in, her horn glowing to illuminate her dark bedroom. I was using her bathroom after all. "Kieran, just let momma clean you already, silly." I sighed deeply, rolled my eyes a bit, and released a relenting groan. “Okay, fine.” Though it didn’t remove my annoyance at the feeling of wet fur, I did garner a little bit of fun from forming a bubble foam beard onto Cadance’s face in retaliation. She thought it was adorable, which heavily countered my attempts at getting back at her for drenching me. It felt like my entire body had a wet blanket wrapped around it. Even when I tried to splash her, the water would mysteriously freeze midair as if time had stopped before being blasted back at my own face. I didn’t quite know what I expected, messing with an all-powerful alicorn with my own cheap tricks. “You’ll need a bit longer to hit me with one of those, sweetie. Flurry’s got you beat on trying that a million other times.” Cadance relayed to me as she scrubbed my mane. When she finally lifted me out, she lit her horn up, and the wetness on my fur seemed to soak out like a sponge in nearly an instant. Turning into a glob of water in midair, which she quickly dropped off right by the drain. “Why didn’t you do that before?” I asked with scrutiny and a bit of betrayal. She laughed and blushed. "I didn't think about it.” She brushed my hair gently. I looked into the mirror and felt a little upset to see Flitter’s perfectly styled mane disappear. Cadance leaned in from behind and nuzzled my head. “Just come find me when you wake up, and I’ll make it look exactly the same.” “Promise?” I looked up to her excitedly. She nodded resolutely and said, “I promise.” She gave me a look in the mirror that I couldn’t refute. “And I’ll do it every single day, if it makes you happy, little one.” She assured me before giving me another affectionate nuzzle mixed with a small kiss on the cheek. I blushed heavily as I looked down at my hooves. Why was I so embarrassed? I knew she was affectionate and loved me. She had told me as much quite a few times now. For some reason, I couldn’t get over my stupid mentality that she was a stranger. Even though I felt more comfortable around her than anyone else, I mean, she had even said she wanted to be my mother… Flitter’s words rang out in my mind: ~“Well, they still care about you. And judging by the description of your past life, how many people can you honestly say that about?”~ I hadn’t exactly returned any of the affection she had generously shown me. But Cadance was being patient enough to wait for me and was trying to show me how much she cared. Was it worth the potential pain? Finally letting somebody know I felt the same way back? Cadance would never see me as weak and suddenly use my newfound affection towards her against me; I could feel it. I smiled widely and leaned against her barrel, rubbing my head on her soft fur. I spoke so quietly I didn’t know if she’d hear me, “I love you, Cadance.” I don’t know what made me finally say it in the end, but it felt like I should’ve said it a long time ago. And I wondered if it was weird for her. I didn’t immediately get the reaction I was expecting, which made a pit form in my stomach. But it lasted only a couple of seconds, and I realized why soon after, when I felt water hit the top of my head. And suddenly I was in a full hug, with her wings wrapped around me. “I love you too, Kieran.” She whispered while nuzzling me. I looked upward as she wiped a few tears from her eyes. I hadn’t ever seen that look on her face. She was so relieved and… happy. She was happy that I loved her… That thought made tears well up in my own eyes. She leaned down, wiping tears out of my eyes, and she kissed my forehead. “I’ll always love you, Kieran; don’t forget that.” I blushed deep red but didn’t take my eyes off her, nodding shortly with embarrassment. “T-That makes me feel… really happy. Thank you.” I replied nervously with a smile. She giggled. “You’re speaking so formally now!” She said with another giggle. I blushed even deeper, suddenly feeling self-conscious of my voice. “I-I just… I don’t know the correct words to express those feelings.” She leaned in, “It’s cute." She reassured me, “Now where’s your little smile at?” She questioned, tilting her head. I lifted a hoof up and realized my smile had been replaced by a frown at some point. “Your cute little smile was here just a moment ago! Did it fall off? Is it hiding?” She started nuzzling me all over, which elicited another smile and laugh from me. “There it is!” She cheered, pretending that she stuck it back on with her own hoof. She locked eyes with me and lifted a brow. “Please never lose it, dear. It fits you much, much better." I giggled loudly and was content to bury myself in her soft, fluffy chest fur again. "Okay, I won’t, for you, Cadance.” She squeezed me tight with her wing and returned to brushing my hair, humming a soft little tune as she did so. “Are you two done in there?” Flurry called from outside. Cadance momentarily stopped her humming to call back, “Just a moment, honey!” She called back. For another couple of minutes, she straightened out my fur and even did some minimal preening of my wings for me. Which made me melt in her embrace just the same as last time. When she was finished, I was lifted onto her back with a final nuzzle as she unlatched the door, and I was immediately met with Flurry bouncing up and down waiting for us. “Kieran, you should sleep in my room tonight!” she urged me excitedly. I tilted my head as Cadance hummed unsurely, “I don’t know, honey; I think Kieran would be happier with us.” Though that was probably right, the way she had told Flurry had made me feel bad. Flurry glared slightly and growled as her horn glowed. “That’s not fair... Kieran, do you not like me?” Cadance face-hoofed as I laughed nervously. "Yes, I do like you, Flurry.” She beamed, “Then sleep in my room! It’ll be fun!” Cadance looked backwards at me with a bit of concern, and I sighed and nodded at her request. “Okay, sure.” “Yay!” She squealed, jumping up and down in delight, until she eventually got to her massively oversized bed. She jumped up onto it and crawled under the covers before popping her top half out and patting the bed next to her. Cadance laughed and carried me over, setting me down on the opposite end of her bed and booping my nose. “No video games in the middle of the night, you two.” Cadance warned, mostly directed at Flurry, “If you do, you know what happens.” Flurry giggled playfully at her mother but nodded in agreement. I crawled under the covers just as Flurry had, mostly exhausted from today’s excitement. I settled myself quite quickly; her bed was just as comfy as all the others. In fact, you sank into it so quickly that it felt like your entire body was getting a big hug. Cadance noticed my eyes were already closing and shushed Flurry, who was still going over something. Cadance leaned down over me, nuzzling my face and kissing my cheek. "Goodnight, my little aquaphobe.” I huffed and giggled. “Night, pink witch." She giggled as she moved over to Flurry and similarly said goodnight. Shining came walking in, "Oh, a little sleepover?” He said in surprise. Cadance shushed him, pushing him forward. Shining just laughed as he leaned over Flurry and kissed her goodnight. “Sweet dreams, sweetie.” “Always the sweetest!” Flurry said excitedly, even as she released a yawn. He moved to the other side of the bed, stopping at my side, and we locked eyes. He smiled and leaned downward, nuzzling me gently. “I’m proud of you for today,” he said quietly in my ear. I nodded shortly. “I hope what I did was right." He backed up a bit to give me a confident nod. “That’s all we can ever hope for. Sweet dreams, buddy.” He said. “Goodnight, I love you,” I said sincerely in my ever-encroaching tiredness. His eyes widened, and he paused, gauging me to see if it was a joke he didn’t understand. When he realized it wasn’t, he quickly leaned back down to nuzzle me again. "I love you too, buddy.” He backed away as my consciousness began waning, joining Cadance as they both exited the room quietly. The moment the door clicked shut, I could hear shuffling and practically feel the holes being burned in the back of my head. I tried to ignore it, but it was too potent of a stare to ignore. I gently shifted over to lock eyes with Flurry in the dark as I gave a tired groan. She had a small, tired smile. “Do you like it here, Kieran?” She asked quietly. I hummed back tiredly, “Yeah, why?” She tilted her head a bit. "That... Flitter mare, she really helped you, didn’t she?” I wondered what had brought this about and nodded. “Mhm, she’s great. Why though?” She closed her eyes a bit. “You just seem... happier now. Way happier.” I laughed slightly. “I can stop.” I teased. Her eyes shot open. “No!” She whined tiredly, “I like it!” I just laughed. Flurry went quiet for a minute, mulling over the question she clearly wanted to ask: “What did she... what did she tell you? Like, things you didn’t want to tell Momma and Daddy." I released a long sigh. There was no reason to withhold the information, it just felt embarrassing. “A lot of things, mostly telling me it was okay to be a foal again. And to trust the people around me who actually care about me.” “Do you trust me?” She questioned, hopefully. “Should I not?” I asked right back. “You should!” She said suddenly, her horn lighting in a flare of defiance. She jabbed me with one of her hooves. “You’re so mean!” She puffed her cheeks out and looked like she’d just eaten sour candy. “You told Momma and Daddy you loved them, but you’re being mean to me! And I love you just as much as them!” “I’m just playing,” I said, pulling her in for a hug. “Also, hey, stop eavesdropping!” I reprimanded her by gently bumping her forehead. She just shrugged, and I sighed again, putting on a large smile. "Okay, Flurry, I’ll be honest, I didn’t trust you when I first got here. But now, you’re my only actual friend, and I trust you.” She giggled happily, wiggling in my embrace. “You’re forgetting something, though,” she said hopefully. I tilted my head before realizing, "Oh... I love you too, Flurry.” I said with a large smile. She giggled and clapped her hooves quietly and excitedly, leaning in to hug me more. We hugged for a bit, and when she retracted, she stared at me pridefully and said, “Okay, now go to sleep, my minion.” I scoffed and turned away from her again. “In your wildest dreams, you psychotic necromancer.” She just giggled in response. I drifted off with a heavy mind. My entire life has been called into question and countered by conflicting things on both sides. The internal version of me and this new one that was starting to rear its head. Things Damon told me, the lies my old “parents” used to tell me, and now everything these ponies had said. What Flitter told me, especially. It was all so much, and haunted me into my dreams. “But you're being a bit too hard on yourself, don’t you think?" Flitter’s voice rang in my mind. “People don’t ever just… do things for you. And people don’t change. They just pretend they’re different people around different groups to save themselves." Damon’s voice countered back. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel bad or upset with yourself... But you want to be a better pony, right?” “If you can’t lie, then run. Nobody has ever been rewarded when telling the truth.” “I’ve seen many ponies who are adults make terrible decisions, learn from them, and grow from them as well… Age isn’t really the problem; it’s how you were raised that made you do those things." "Jane and Eric literally only took us in for the money." “Well, they still care about you. And judging by the description of your past life, how many people can you honestly say that about?” "Believe it if you want. Might hurt less to pretend otherwise, I guess." My raging mind was washed away with the tide, my thoughts blanking as the jumble of words escaped me. I found myself in a field instead. The starry night above me, a tree just behind my back. Well, “my” back. Looking down at my body, there was nothing recognizable. Like a swirling mess of dark energy, my limbs were more a suggestion than anything, my body present but not there all at the same time. Just a black mass of constant fluctuation and change. Sometimes I’d catch a glimpse of a pony, sometimes a human. “Thy heart is filled with the heaviest of conflicts I’ve hadst the displeasure of witnessing." I turned to meet Luna, and her brow furrowed with worry as she observed my sorry state. I opened my mouth, did I? I couldn’t tell. “Hello Luna…” She approached, her head fixed on my form. She reached out with her hoof and realized that there was some sort of physical form there that she could touch. She quickly used that information to sit down and wrap a wing around me. "Prithee, bid us what plagues thee, mine own dearest nephew.” I decided to let her use the label, and I gave a small laugh, “You’re speaking like a Victorian-era noble again.” Luna blushed in realization, clearing her throat. “Sorry, I’ve not yet adopted your “common” way of speaking with the ponies of today. They expect me to speak the same old… “Victorian” way as you call it.” There was a bit of silence as she waited for me to speak. “Has everything been alright lately? Something has your inner self caught in a wild fluctuation. And your nightmare called me to you for the first time in many moons.” “Thanks, I couldn’t tell.” I said, reaching out with my appendage to gaze at the swirling mass again. I sighed and groaned at the same time. Luna tilted her head and waited patiently. I looked over to her and said, “It’s nice to see you again, Luna.” She smiled, “I agree, and I cannot wait for Hearth’s Warming.” She hummed curiously. “You wouldn’t happen to be avoiding the question, would you?” I shrugged. “Things have been great—better than ever, actually.” I paused, thinking of what could possibly be the problem. “I just… I don’t know. I’ve gotten really close to Cadance, Shining, and Flurry. But there’s always something inside me trying to tell me to run or wanting me to continue pushing them away.” Luna hummed, listening to my words intently, and afterwards she looked upwards at the sky. “Something? Or memories of somepony?” She asked curiously, her gaze not wavering from the heavens. “Those are two very different things, little one.” I sighed, “No… it’s others… My brother Damon, mainly, he’s always in the back of my mind.” She held me tighter, clearing her throat. “Hm? I’m afraid you haven’t told me of him before.” She said a bit nervously. I just laughed slightly at her attempted fib. “Cadance did, though, didn’t she? You know what happened already, I bet.” She sighed sadly, her head lowering to look at my mess of a form with sympathy. “Sorry. I do not try to pry with my letters. However, Cadance likes to write about you.” A different version of me might get angry, but these ponies just wanted to help. Plus, if it was Cadance, I couldn’t help but smile. “It’s okay, Luna.” She smiled gratefully and bowed her head down to my level. “These thoughts running wild in your head—they're conflicting with your newfound happiness?” I slowly nodded, and she sighed greatly. “You must take control of your own head and replace those bad memories with good ones.” “Like… new memories?” I asked curiously. She hummed, “Of both your past life and the new. Dwelling on the awful parts of your past life will only bring grief.” Luna’s face was riddled with sadness—more than I’d like to see on her. “But it’s so hard to do,” I said, frustration seeping into my words. “Everything from my past that makes me happy is something that I relate to my brother. But…” I paused to stop the sadness from consuming me. “I just don’t want to think about him…” She wrapped both wings around me, “I understand, little one; trust me, it’s not easy.” She said with her own little sniffle. “Pretending that the past didn’t happen is unhealthy, and to move on and grow from your old self. Such a task is something no pony could call easy.” She leaned closer to me and nuzzled the mess of a form I am. “Just remember, there are those around you right now that love and cherish you. You aren’t alone, and none of us would like to see you suffer any longer.” “I-I’ll do my best, Luna, but... I don’t know if I exactly know how.” I told her honestly. “I mean, where do I even start?” I asked, gazing up into her eyes. “I would continue down this path you’re already taking.” She said with a large smile. “Plus, if so, I may gain an actual nephew.” I scoffed with a small smile. “You already called me that earlier.” “Wishful thinking!” She defended herself: “A pony like me does not often acquire new family members! For we live too long and have not had children of our own! Tis a treasure I holdest deep to the heart! I do not often get to cherish others with such glee, especially young ones.” I honestly hadn’t thought about that. Her and Celestia had never had children, to my knowledge. After thousands of years, you’d jump at the chance to get close to anyone in a familial way. Wouldn’t you? I don’t know; trying to understand thousand-year-old alicorns is too confusing. I laughed and leaned against her. “You know what? That is fair. Want me to call you Auntie Luna like Flurry does?” I said mostly in jest. Yet her eyes lit up much like the starry night above us, and she leaned closer and grasped my two appendages between her hooves. “I would love this decision!” She nearly squealed. But she seemed to realize her emotions were taking hold, and she cleared her throat. “Only if you would feel comfortable, Kieran. That’s what’s important.” I smiled and blushed in embarrassment, though I doubt she could tell. “I… I’m okay with it.” I shuffled a bit awkwardly. “So, Auntie Luna, what’s your consensus on my form right now?” She seemed to bite back her excitement at that, but she certainly hugged me even tighter with her wings. “You know…” She paused, positioning herself in a more comfortable position as she lay down, my body resting against her chest. “I have a story for you.” “A story?” She nodded with a content sigh. “One about myself, though the lesson is all the same.” She watched my curious expression and said, “I think it could help you with your conflicting feelings about the past. Would you listen to my tale?” I laughed a little at the way she delivered the question, “Mhm, I’m stuck with you anyway.” She rolled her eyes playfully at me, sticking her tongue out and waving it. I giggled, and so did she, and afterwards she guided my gaze to the stars above. They repositioned themselves like dancing lights, depicting a scene with which I was not familiar. She began her story, “Well, little one, it all started long ago one night, with the setting of my sister's sun…” > 15 - I Was King! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next morning, I spent most of my early day in my head. The story Luna had told me was… dark. The idea of her turning into a physical manifestation of all of her pent-up emotions was a terrifying idea. For one thousand years, she was just sitting up on the moon, biding her time, and waiting for revenge. Nightmare Moon sounded more like a parasite in her mind than anything; I couldn’t ever imagine Luna doing something like that of her own free will. “What’s on your mind, honey?” Cadance asked from behind me as she brushed my mane and styled it the same as Flitter had. I glanced up. “Oh, nothing…” She raised a brow but didn’t pry any further and only began to hum while she worked on my mane. After a few minutes, she stopped and said, “Okay! There we go.” She leaned in while nuzzling the side of my face. “What do you think?” I looked at the mirror; it was nearly the same as Flitter’s style, a few touches different, but it was very well done. I smiled gratefully, “Much better!” I said happily. She giggled and kissed my cheek before standing back up. “I think Flurry is in her room right now, if you want to go play.” I hummed and debated it: “Okay, I’ll see what she’s up to.” “Alright.” She said with a nod, “You know where we’ll be; just come grab one of us if you need something, alright, sweetie?” I gave a firm nod and followed her out of their room. Cadance gave me a smile as she disappeared into their living room. Once she was out of sight, I opted to continue down the way towards Flurry’s room. When I got to Flurry’s door, it was already cracked open. Nevertheless, I knocked on it as best as possible. And I quickly heard a distracted command, “Enter.” I slowly pushed it open to see her looking in the other direction from atop her bed as she lay on her stomach. “Thank you for gracing me with your presence, your highness.” I said with a mock bow. She smiled and huffed, glancing at me and sticking her tongue out before returning to her art book. I slowly approached as I watched her eyes dart about the page, a storm of drawing utensils hovering in and out of the page’s range as she drew one of the most detailed pictures of flowers I’d ever seen. It was extremely impressive; no less than five different pens or pencils would be on the page at once, and it was impossible to keep up with. I was, again, a bit jealous of the dexterous nature of magic and its uncanny ability to make anybody into a one-man machine. “Wow,” I said quietly when there was a pause in her work. “It’s beautiful.” She smiled and blushed as she almost considered hiding it before realizing the futility. “Th-Thanks.” I sat down, admiring the ball of drawing tools hovering in her magic, ready to strike the page at a moment’s notice. “You’re really talented at drawing." I paused for a moment. “Unless you’re about to tell me this is a typical drawing level for a unicorn." She glanced at me again with a tilted head, and I quickly bowed my head and clasped my hooves together above it in pleading, “Please don’t tell me that. I might cry.” She laughed and shook her head. “It’s definitely not normal; even if you can float a pen, you can’t make the page look like art without practice.” She rested the book gently in between her hooves. “That being said, every time someone tells me that, I can’t help but question it. I don’t even have my cutiemark yet.” She said it with a tone of annoyance and a gesture towards her flank. I shrugged. “Maybe that just means you’re even more talented at something else!” I suggested with a smile. Her smile widened, and she nodded eagerly. “Maybe!” She said excitedly, “Oh!” She brought her book back up and quickly went back to work, clearly inspired by whatever thought had just occurred to her. It was really now that I was wishing I had something to fill the gaps in my free time. Whether that be a hobby or simply the capacity to learn something like magic, being able to relax in this relatively dream-like world while bettering myself sounded quite fun! But really, what were my options? My head fell to my hooves in thought, and eventually Flurry took stock of my silence. “You okay?” She asked with a brief halt. I widened my eyes and looked back up to nod at her. “Oh, yeah. I think I’m going to go for now, though.” She tilted her head. “Hang out with momma and daddy?" I hummed and turned my back to her. “Something like that, I’m not sure…” I glanced back with a smile. “Keep at it, though! It looks great.” She nodded and leisurely returned to drawing. It was clear that I was really a distraction for her at the moment anyway. Even if we could sit together in comfortable silence, my body wanted to go do something. Even though I had no clue what to do! I took one step in the direction of the living room, where Cadance and Shining were, but then found my head turning in the other direction. Toward the door that led out into the greater bits of the castle. Surely a small little excursion by myself wouldn’t be an issue? And I wasn’t planning on leaving the castle either! I just needed to get my head straight about what Luna told me and about my own thoughts. So, my hooves turned directions, and I continued down that hallway and, for once, outside the living quarters on my own. Walking the long hallways of the castle just sounded like something that might straighten my mind out. I don’t know why. I mean, every single king in every movie does that as a replacement for pacing idly, so surely it would work for me. My legs didn’t carry me at a fast rate; the halls were long, especially for such a small body as mine. The guards on my way out had only given me a glance, until eventually I heard another set of hoofsteps behind me. I turned and raised a brow at the random guardspony. “Can I… help you?” I asked curiously. Without breaking form, he replied calmly, “Here to service and accompany you, at your order.” “You know I’m not Flurry, right?” I asked with a head tilt. He nodded. “Princess Cadance’s orders are to treat you with the same respect as Flurry.” I sighed. “Can I order you to… not follow me?” He bowed his head. “I apologize; if you are to stay on castle premises, I could make an exception.” I nodded, “I will… so… Please do, thank you.” The guard nodded and returned to his post swiftly. ‘Wow, that worked?’ I immediately thought in surprise as he left me. I shook my head to clear my mind of distractions and continued back on my way. My thoughts fell back on Luna and, more importantly, what she was trying to convey by telling me that story. I was happy either way that she was willing to share something like that, though it did seem like public knowledge anyway, so I would’ve found out eventually. Maybe she assumed it would be better to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. Heh, that was the first horse pun I’d made since I got here… I wasn’t one to judge Luna based on her past, with mine probably not quite as destructive but still… not great. So I guess her story could be interpreted as “keep your emotions in check,” but that didn’t really sound right. She could’ve been using it as a lesson on humility. Speaking to others about your concerns instead of letting them reach a boiling point? That was something I was actually not terrible at; I’ve made it very clear since I first got to Equestria what my concerns were. Cadance, of course, dismissed them all with reason, and I found it nigh impossible to disagree with her. And Flurry was very good at convincing me of things I would often never do. The likelihood is that Luna was just telling me a story with many elements, with all of the above concerns as a potential lesson. The hallway didn’t feel like it was getting any shorter; I could see the door at the end, but each step was only a drop in the bucket. I was also walking as slowly as molasses, so I can only fault myself. I finally raised my head to look at the wall next to me, and while there was the occasional door, they all seemed to be the same guest rooms from that one night. I nearly doubled over immediately in cringe at my own actions that night… I mean, really? Was I that clingy? I’m not clingy. One door did catch my attention, a bit farther down the hallway than the guest rooms. It was about twice the size and had a double door. The entire door was lavished with a silver accent to the dark wood color. It also had a much larger sign overhead, comparatively. I picked up the pace a little. When I finally got in front of the door, I gave it another look and nodded my head resolutely. This door was important. I looked at the sign again and tilted my head. Their language was like hieroglyphics to me. Some bits were just a bunch of lines crossing, dotting, and curving nonsensically. Much the same way Chinese or Japanese did, but it was a lot simpler. Then the other symbols would sometimes resemble an almost recognizable form, like some twisted version of the Greek alphabet. I shrugged and stepped forward. If it wasn’t locked, then clearly they wouldn’t care about people getting in. So with my curiosity, I stepped forward and placed my hoof against it, expecting it to swing open grandly in my mere presence, I guess. But that’s not what happened. No, this door was heavy… I found myself with my shoulder and both hooves on the door, trying to dig my back legs into the slippery floor enough to get a grip. And after some heavy shoves, it began to open. A light shone back at me from inside, and I upped my effort a bit more until there was a large enough crack for me to slip into the area. With my tongue lolling out of my mouth in concentration, I made a careful leap towards the crack in the door, a resolute creak echoing through the room as it shut firmly behind me. I dusted my hooves off proudly and took a look around. It was a library… Well, that was an insult to my efforts… I felt almost mocked by this universe, having been led into possibly the most useless room I could ever enter. The room was big, though—genuinely large. Looking up, I could see at least a second story, with what seemed to be even larger than the base floor in size. The bottom floor had a cross-shaped pattern, with a red rug dividing the room into four corners. And each corner had two sets of four massive bookshelves. In the center of the room was an assortment of desks, tables, and chairs meant for recreational use. With the very back of the room having a double staircase splitting halfway up to go in separate directions. I didn’t even want to begin thinking about the size of the second floor. The room was already looming over my small form like a mountain with its insurmountable amount of literature. “Hello?” I called out, my voice echoing about four times. But there seemed to be not a single soul other than me amongst the tree graveyard. I huffed greatly. “I’m out; too many hieroglyphics.” I said dejectedly, turning around and walking muzzle first into the giant door I just came through. I put my hooves and my shoulder up against the door, and I realized one thing that turned this from an unfortunate sidetrack into a hostage situation. The door was only able to be pushed open one way. I was not tall enough to reach the handles on the inside. I certainly did not have enough grip strength to open it, even if I was. With an almost unbelievable amount of shock, I sat back on my rump, staring at the door in realization. “Wow, I messed up.” I released a long groan, facehoofing with annoyance. “Am I stupid or something?” I fell backwards onto my back and stared at what seemed to be a mile-long ceiling. “No, really, Kieran. Your intelligence is positively radiant.” I mocked. I raised my hoof up and lamented my intellect: "Truly, your brain must lack the critical thinking skills required to operate a simple door.” I snorted a small giggle afterward. I stood back up, and for about twenty minutes, I tried many times to stack books high enough for me to climb and reach the door handle, but I could barely even lift the books! It was a lost cause. I walked over to the center of the library and found a large pillow, falling onto my back with a large sigh. I tilted my head while staring at the ceiling. It wasn’t game over; I wasn’t going to die in a library. Cadance would eventually find me after a lot of panicking. Maybe the library would even get some traffic, and I could ask for help. Maybe I shouldn’t have turned away that guard from following me… But having some random guard following you was such a bore. I sighed greatly once again. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I could read, but I couldn’t. Maybe if I found a picture book? A comic? Do they even have comics in Equestria? Oh no… I really need to get some knowledge of this world thoroughly into my noggin before something goes wrong. Actually, getting stranded somewhere would be a death sentence for me right now. I once again found myself pacing the library, but with no indication of which section of the library I was in, the whole thing was pointless. "Well, this problem only has one solution.” I said with a firm head nod. "Alright, little ones, how about some dinner?” Cadance said with a happy hum as she opened Flurry’s door. But the sight of a lone Flurry sitting in the corner playing video games made her head tilt. And it made Flurry’s head tilt even more at the pluralism of her words. “Kieran’s not in here, momma.” Cadance was at a loss for words. “Oh, bathroom then?” “Nuh uh,” Flurry shook her head again. “I haven’t seen him since this morning. I thought he was with you.” Her brow furrowed with worry. “Then… did he tell you where he’d be going?” Another shake of the head made a sudden rush of panic travel up Cadance’s spine. “That mother’s adrenaline is kicking in,” she whispered quietly to herself, falling to her rump in despair. “I can see every equation.” “What was that?” Flurry asked with a head tilt. “Nothing!” Cadance replied hurriedly as she exited the room. …. It took Cadance and Shining a while to get on the right track, but eventually she was reminded by Silver of all ponies that she’d placed a tracking spell. Cadance followed the trace, a wisp of energy directly leading the two until they were at the library doors, where the trail led right through. “Oh no… I told you this heavy door would be a problem, Shining!” Shining’s ears folded against his head slightly. “They didn’t tell me the door would be so heavy when we were constructing it; I just thought it would look cool.” He defended himself mildly. Cadance quickened her steps and threw the doors open with her magic. “Kieran! Kieran!?” Cadance’s voice rang out in the library desperately with worry. The sun from outside was barely emitting a glow as it was becoming dusk. Shining trailed behind her. “Are you sure he’s in here?” Cadance nodded confusedly. “The tracking spell showed he was in here, but…” She worriedly and hastily trotted into the center of the room, gazing in every direction possible. “Kieran, sweetie, where are you?” A groan rang out, along with a questioning hum, “Huh? Is someone there?” She heard him call out from somewhere on the second floor. Cadance quickly spread her wings and flew up to the next floor. She was absolutely shocked to find what she did. Kieran came running out of a foal-sized castle made entirely out of books. With the ruler wielded in his mouth, he lowered his two front hooves and growled into a defensive stance. “Who dares defile the land of lost trees and dreams!?” He shouted out. Cadance froze in her tracks and tilted her head. “Kieran? Are you… Are you okay?” An extra look showed that his fur looked disheveled, with small bits of paper sticking out of his back. There was a wild look in his eyes that spoke volumes about his sanity. Shining reached forward with a hoof out of curiosity, only for it to be smacked away like a disciplined student by Kieran’s ruler. “He seems to have gone native.” Shining hummed with pursed lips and a hoof to his chin. Cadance glanced over at him in surprise, bumping into him with her side scoldingly. “What if it’s serious?” She reprimanded him with a hushed hiss. before shaking her head and facing the foal. “Did you get stuck in here, sweetie?” Cadance asked softly, taking a few steps forward. Kieran lowered the ruler from his mouth, dropping his weapon metaphorically guarding him. “State your purpose here, wench; these are sacred lands!” He continued, and she caught a small hint of a smile on his lips before he buried it. Cadance finally realized his playful act and smiled with relief. Clearing her throat, she quickly joined in: “I’ve been searching for my foal. Some say he was banished to these sacred and lonely lands long ago. Would you happen to know somepony named Kieran?” He gave a face of wonder, “Kieran? Ah yes, that name does ring a bell…” The foal sat in silence, humming confusedly before his epiphany. He clicked his tongue and said, “Aha! I remember him! He’s me!” Cadance hunched lower to the ground in horror. “Oh my! You’ve grown so old!” The foal fell to his stomach in defeat, hanging his head sadly. “How long has it been? Days? Weeks?” He whispered sadly, looking down at his hooves with a thousand-yard stare. “Has the world outside crumbled to dust?” Shining approached carefully, a large smile on his lips. "Actually, it’s been about nine-” “Nine years!?” The foal interrupted him with horror. “Dear gods…” he muttered. “There’s more.” Shining began. “No…” Kieran lamented even further, horrified at the implication of his words. Shining wasn't able to hold his composure and started dying of laughter from behind her as Cadance levitated the foal up in front of her. Suppressing a giggle at his defeated look, “I’m so sorry, little one. We searched far and wide for you, but you were simply too lost.” Kieran’s head rolled back. “Have you come to take me to the afterlife with you? I think I see the light.” He reached his hoof up towards the sky before dropping it unceremoniously, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Cadance couldn’t help it and released a bout of laughter. All of her panicked worry washed away in the wake of his acting. Eventually clearing her throat and trying to get her composure back, “N-No, ahem… we’re here to take you home. You’ve had a long journey, my little king.” “So, so long…” He whispered gravely, “I still remember the faces of those I’ve lost, gone with the passing tide of time.” He held his face in his hooves dramatically. Shining’s laughter finally died. “Did you really get stuck in here all day, buddy?” Kieran perked right back up, forgoing the act and locking eyes with him. “Yeah, it was a very boring day.” Cadance giggled and glanced up at the small castle of books. “It looks like you found your own way of entertaining yourself, though.” She tried to cheer him up. Then she gave him a scolding look of scrutiny. “That must've taken a lot of pulling and pushing with your hooves, hmm? The hooves you aren’t supposed to be using?” Kieran huffed sadly, his ears folded against his head. "Sorry, Cadance,” he apologized honestly. “I was mostly using my mouth, though! I promise.” Cadance couldn’t stay mad for even a second as she leaned in and nuzzled him heavily. “Oh, it’s okay, little one.” She paused for a minute and raised a brow at him. “Was there any particular reasoning behind the castle construction?” He shrugged. “I was just looking for a picture book or comic, and every time I didn’t find one, it became part of my castle. I never found a comic either, so it was a big waste of time.” He said with an exasperated sigh. Cadance hummed and nuzzled him. “Aww… I’m sorry, honey.” Kieran giggled. “I didn’t make you worry too much, did I?” Cadance smirked. “No, we knew how to find yo-” “She was absolutely freaking out.” Shining interrupted her, much to Cadance’s dismay. “She was practically upturning the entire castle for the past few hours, until Silver Drift reminded her of that tracking spell Cadance put on you days ago.” Cadance blushed defiantly and gave a sour face. “Yes, I might have been a bit… worried.” Kieran just laughed again and nestled into her chest fur. She happily reciprocated the affection. Shining’s horn lit up, taking hold of every book. They all seemed to sort themselves out quite handily throughout the library. “No! My fortress of solitude!” Kieran lamented. Shining just laughed and ruffled his head. “Gone with the tide of time, I’m afraid.” Cadance rolled her eyes playfully and set Kieran on her back. “How about dinner? I’m sure you’re a starving little king.” He nodded. "Yes, please…” There was a bit of silence as they began leaving the library. And as if coming to Kieran like a sudden light in the dark, his eyes suddenly lit up with the sudden promise of purpose. Something to fulfill his time and allow him to occupy himself and feel productive in a way he hadn’t since he first arrived. Kieran eventually cleared his throat, "Um, Cadance.” “Yes sweetie?” She asked sweetly, glancing an eye at him. “Can you teach me how to read? Like… soon? I really want to learn..." A large smile spread on Cadance’s muzzle and a warm feeling in her heart. “Would you like to start tomorrow?” “Yes!” He said ecstatically. And she giggled when she felt him happily tiptoe dance between his hooves excitedly. “I can’t believe you got stuck all day.” Flurry said a bit mockingly, ducking away from Kieran’s advances by climbing up Cadance’s back even further. Kieran huffed with a scowl as he swiped up at her leg, draped halfway over Cadance’s back, trying to catch her. “Because I didn’t get stuck, I was admiring the architecture!” He growled. “Yeah right!” Flurry giggled and pointed down at him. “I got to play games all day while you sat there and built a castle!" Kieran smirked. “You sound jealous of my superior creative skills!” Cadance and Shining glanced at each other with raised eyebrows and suppressed laughter. Flurry huffed and held her head high. “They’re my creative skills, actually; that’s my body you’re in.” He shook his head and said, “My brain, my creative skills.” “At least I can read!” She countered suddenly. He groaned. “Cadance is going to teach me.” “Okay, Flurry, that was rude.” Cadance scolded her, lowering her head so the filly rolled down onto the carpet below. “Momma!” She whined slightly, lying on her back in front of the fireplace. Cadance shook her head sternly with raised brows. "No, apologize to Kieran right now for that.” She sighed as she got to her hooves, her horn glowing slightly. She did seem rather apologetic. “Okay…I’m sorry… And you better learn perfectly and be the quickest learner ever. Or else!” Shining shook his head. “I don’t know if that’s good enough to teach my filly not to be a bully,” he continued. “Kieran, I give you permission to get your payback." “Hey!” Flurry protested as Shining held her up from behind, as if posing as a dejected cat, as Flurry attempted not to laugh. Kieran and Shining shared an untold smirk of mischief. Kieran quickly hopped down from Cadance’s back, “Gladly!” He said so happily, angling himself and jumping to perform a perfect tackle. The two foals rolled across the floor, their fight quickly turning into giggles as the two got tangled up on each other. Cadance and Shining leaned against each other comfortably, happily taking in the rivalry between the two foals. Yet the serene moment was interrupted as the door to their home opened. The two adults swiveled their heads to meet the entrance of Silver Drift, which was a rare sight since she usually would have left by then. “My Princess, forgive my interruption, but may I speak with you?” She said with a deep bow. “Me?” Flurry asked excitedly, her head popping out of the ball of tangled foals. Cadance laughed softly, “No dear,” She stood, approaching the guardsmare. “Of course, Silver Drift. Follow me.” Cadance led the mare to a small room with a few comfortable pillows to sit on and a table in the center. Cadance sat at the long end as Silver placed herself on the opposite side. “Would you like some tea?” Silver shook her head. "No, thank you. I apologize, but I don’t intend to be here for too long.” Cadance nodded respectfully. “Of course. What did you wish to discuss?” “My Princess, it’s about Kieran.” Silver Drift said with a sigh. Cadance tensed, though she didn’t really understand why. Her body language adopted a much more attentive stance. Silver Drift saw the look of intrigue and continued with a sigh, “I know I might be outstepping my boundaries, and I apologize if so.” Cadance shook her head quickly. “No, please, go on. You’ve been with us for so long; I trust your word.” Silver Drift nodded a faint smile on her regularly hardened features and said, “Well, Princess, you know I’ve had a few foals in my lifetime.” Cadance nodded to indicate she was listening. Silver seemed to be having trouble starting. Clearing her throat, she continued, “I hate to… say this… but I worry for Kieran. Especially after today’s incident.” Cadance tensed more and hung her head slightly in shame. “I… understand. I feel just as embarrassed and ashamed as you’d imagine. Even more so that you had to remind me of the tracking spell.” Silver shook her head and said, “No, no Princess. I didn't mean to tell you this insultingly, but more so to help you out.” Cadance tilted her head, and Silver locked eyes with her. “I know you don’t want to hear this, my princess, but Kieran… The care for him is very similar to that of a handicapped foal.” Cadance’s mouth opened in shock, and she stuttered in her own breath for a minute in disbelief. “I… I don’t know, Silver…” Silver sighed at the shock on her face. “Cadance, dear, he can’t even feed himself properly. The poor foal can’t hold things much; he can’t fly; he can’t use magic… He can barely walk after he uses his hooves to grab things; you know more than anybody the struggles he is used to.” Cadance thought back to the times before she fully understood it—the many times he’d trip on his own hooves if he’d been using them much at all. And his grip was weak for a foal his age. Cadance winced a bit before Silver continued. “Not to mention his mental state being rather unstable." Silver sighed sadly. “I know you love him, and you want to show him freedom, but I think he’s more reliant on others than you realize, Princess. He’s a very frail foal-” Cadance’s hoof came down on the table, causing Silver to stop speaking abruptly. Though Silver didn’t jump at the action, it only softened her look. Cadance hid her face; her voice spoke volumes for her emotions, though: “We’re trying… But despite all my power, I’m not good enough at magic on my own to help him, Silver.” Her voice shuddered. “Kieran is strong; he just doesn’t have the body to support it yet. I can’t just cage him up like some animal.” She groaned angrily at herself as she held her head in her hooves. Cadance felt a hoof on her back and looked over surprisingly to see Silver Drift with her helmet off, the old guardsmare offering her sympathy. “I’m sorry, Princess; I did not mean to hurt you.” Cadance wiped her eyes and shook her head. “N-No, forgive me; I lost control of my emotions.” Silver moved her hoof to Cadance’s front leg and said, “When it comes to your foals, you would do anything. I know that feeling, I’ve had it many times before. What I did not mean by approaching you with this was for you to feel like you aren’t doing enough. I know how much you’re doing, Princess.” Cadance breathed deeply. “Did you have a suggestion of sorts?” She asked curiously. She nodded. “A personal guard. As you did by entrusting Flurry to my service, you should do the same for Kieran. You, Sir Shining, and Flurry can’t always be around him, and I worry about my ability to be entrusted with two alicorn foals.” She sighed. “It won’t give him all the things the poor foal lacks, but a guard he can trust, an impartial ally, I suppose.” Cadance’s eyes widened, and she quickly hummed with curiosity, “That’s… a great idea. I agree.” She held a hoof to her muzzle in thought. Silver nodded with a large smile. “That’s great. I know of quite a few experienced and well-acquainted guards that you could choose from.” “I’ve already got one in mind,” Cadance replied, a smile growing on her lips. Silver looked surprised but quickly nodded. “Just say the word, and I can have the transfer started and all the official nonsense. Though it may take a while to get it all processed.” Cadance smiled. “That’s fine; I will be waiting until after Hearth’s Warming to allow them time with their families. Silver Drift stood back and saluted, “Of course, Princes. I will fulfill your request as soon as the holidays are over. You have my word.” Cadance stood from her spot and faced the mare, saying, “Thank you, Silver.” She hummed, “Are you sure there’s nowhere you’d like to go for Hearth’s Warming either?” Silver bowed her head. “My family lives in your empire, my lady; I will be with them precisely when I’m no longer needed on Hearth’s Warming Day.” Cadance nodded as she began exiting the room. “Oh, don’t worry too much; the foals will be too busy opening presents to get caught up elsewhere.” Cadance opened the door and turned back. “Get some rest now, Silver.” She bowed deeply and said, “I will, Princess.” I sat in deep contempt within the shallow, warm water of the bathtub, even as Flurry lathered my mane until I was a big, bubbly mess. Cadance laughed from above. “Honey, are you trying to color him white like Shining with all those bubbles?” Flurry giggled as she put the finishing touches on my coat. “I’m turning him into an art piece!” I slowly turned my head to her in dramatic fashion and asked, “Why must you desecrate me further?” She fell backwards in a giggling fit. Cadance laughed quietly as she dumped water over me, only furthering my sour expression even more. She hurried the pace as best she could, pooling the water off of us with her magic and bringing both of us out of the tub and into our own respective towels. Flurry was still dying in laughter, which only amplified when she saw my super-puffed-out coat and hair with my still-sour expression. Cadance hummed a song as she brushed our hair back down so that it wasn’t crazy, carried us outside, and set us gently into her bed. “Hmm, what would my little ones like tonight?” She placed a hoof to her chin in thought, though she was clearly asking us to make a decision: “A bedtime story? A song? Another bath?” “No!” I whined immediately, hiding under the covers. Cadance giggled and leaned over the bed to kiss the part of my head that wasn’t hidden. “Too far? I’m sorry.” She calmed her laughter. “Well, what do you little ones want?” Flurry giggled more, exclaiming excitedly, “More momma cuddles!” Cadance raised her brow, “More? How would I go about that?” She seemed to act stumped for a minute before climbing onto Flurry’s bed and causing her to laugh wildly. I couldn’t help but laugh either as she settled in between the two of us like some oversized dog. “What a comfy bed!” Cadance said, pretending to yawn and lay her head down. She fake snored as her two forelegs reached out and grabbed me and Flurry, pulling us towards her like oversized stuffed animals. Flurry squealed and struggled in her grip while she giggled wildly. I actually found it quite comfortable and was pretty tired, so I allowed her to keep me close to her chest without struggle. Cadance hummed confusedly as she pretended to wake as she stared at Flurry. “Now why are you so squirmy, miss? Kieran is already falling asleep!” Flurry shook her head. “Then take Kieran only!” she giggled mischievously. Cadance tilted her head. “Oh? This must not be my bed!” She crawled off, releasing Flurry and still holding me to her chest. “I’ll take this plushie to bed with me then.” She said, hugging me gently. Flurry got out from under the covers and stood defiantly. “No! He’s mine!” She said with a giggle. Shining entered through the door and sighed with a bit of laughter. “Honey, are you bringing their energy back up again?” Cadance turned and laughed. “Quite the opposite, trying to settle this one down.” She said, gesturing to the wild-eyed Flurry. Shining passed her with a chuckle. “Hold on, I’ve got this.” Cadance nodded and glanced down at me. “You look comfy,” she giggled. I nodded slightly and buried my face farther into her chest fur. She only smiled and looked up at the other two. “I’ll be taking this one to bed with us then.” Flurry fell to her stomach and protested playfully, “No~!” Shining got up on her bed and nuzzled her relentlessly. “There’s nothing you can do about it, little pony! Muhaha!” He growled with a menacing laugh. Cadance laughed softly as she exited the room, taking me with her to bed that night. She settled into her own room, turning the lights off with magic before pulling back the covers and cozying into it. She pulled the covers over us and continued to hold me close as she brushed my hair back soothingly. "Goodnight, little one, I love you.” My mind was preoccupied with nearly attempting sleep, and my thoughts were buzzing. So when I leisurely replied back, it was nearly on auto-pilot. I wasn’t thinking very much. “I like… mom…ma.. cuddles...” I didn’t hear another thing that night, but I did feel her hold on me become much tighter. And the faintest hint of something wet dripping onto my head, but it was quickly brushed away by Cadance’s soothing nuzzles. > 16 - The Beginning of Something New... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I spent a long time with Cadance after that day. The sun would rise, we’d eat breakfast, and I’d take a morning class over language with her. And in the evenings, she would teach me history, the biology of ponies and other creatures, and another round of language lessons. Then, at the end of every day, I’d pass out over my notebook she’d given me, where I was practicing their alphabet. She had taught me how to write using my mouth, the way that a few ponies would often do on instinct. At first, I had to get over the taste of pencils and how odd it seemed. But soon it became quite easy, even if I’d dropped it a few times and wiped it off in disgust at the idea of putting it back in my mouth. Cadance was an absolutely amazing teacher. I can’t say I’d ever had someone so supportive of me, even if it was something as simple as drawing a letter of the alphabet she wanted me to with minimal help. She’d praise and shower me with excitement and love. Whether because of her amazing teaching or something involving odd alicorn oddities, I found myself learning their alphabet at a rapid pace. By the fourth day, I was already able to read very simple sentences that you’d expect from a much younger foal. Even Cadance was surprised by the growth of my learning; she’d brag about it at dinner practically every night, even as I buried my face in my hooves and pleaded profusely for her to stop. I think Flurry was getting sort of jealous, not because I was spending time with her mother or anything, but because when I wasn’t learning with Cadance, I was practicing on my own. I will admit, I could have probably set time aside to play with her, but learning something as basic as language seemed really important in my mind. And I didn’t really want any distractions. But it wasn’t just language; no matter what part of the body Cadance poked, I was quickly able to immediately recite to her what it was called and its function. Including which leylines and how many reside within. And no matter which piece of history she brought back up with me, I could instantly recall it, playing back her entire lesson to me verbatim. I had to admit, it was a little bit freaky at first. I’d never been an academic prodigy or even semi-talented. But it was as if my memory was photographic. I was in the middle of practicing the set of sentences Cadance had given me earlier that day, stuck in my own head while laying on the living room carpet. Everyone else was off somewhere in the castle, but I was content to practice. “Does the dash go here or...?" I tilted my head as I mumbled to myself, “Oh, here.” “Do you ever take a break?” Flurry huffed from behind me. I flicked my ears in her direction and continued my practice, “Yes.” She huffed, “It doesn’t seem like it. You aren’t even having fun.” She grumbled as if I were being tortured. I glanced at her and said, “It may not be the most fun, but I kinda have to do it.” She pranced in front of me, tapping back and forth between her two front hooves as she whined, “Tomorrow is Hearth’s Warming Eve! Come on, Kieran... Take a break and play with me.” I smiled but kept my head locked on the page. “I know; maybe tomorrow.” I suddenly found myself with Flurry lying down on top of my notebook. She folded her hooves and went full loaf, much like a displeased and ignored cat would. I sighed, "Flurry, get off of it. Please.” She shook her head quite definitively with wide, sweeping head motions, “Nuh-uh. Momma always tells me that not taking breaks is why ponies will get tired and stressed. So we can sit here and have a staring contest, or you can take a break.” She lit her horn like she always did when upset. “That’s an order.” She commanded with a giggle. I groaned, but I couldn’t help but smile and shake my head. “Alright, I’ll take a break, Cadance doesn’t have a lesson planned for me until after Christmas anyway.” Flurry smiled gleefully, then tilted her head in curiosity. “What’s Christmas?” My eyes widened, and I laughed a bit. “Oh, it’s my old world’s version of Hearth’s Warming. They’re pretty similar in most respects, so I’m not surprised I mixed them up.” I glanced down below her and asked, “Can I uh… have my notebook? Before you smear the writing?” Her eyes widened as she hopped up quickly, levitating my notebook and pencil up and away from me to set them on the table. She quickly laid back down in front of me, laying her head on her two front hooves. “Tell me about Christmas!” She asked happily. I shrugged. “We do all the same things as ponies, it seems. Holiday trees, presents, lights, and lots of family and food.” “It’s great, isn’t it?” She said, barely containing her excitement, “I always love Hearth’s Warming. Momma and Daddy always know what I’ll love!” I smiled and sheepishly rubbed the back of my head. “I’ll be honest, I kind of always hated Christmas.” Her eyes widened farther than I’d ever seen, and she stood up defiantly, looking at me like I’d conjured another clone. “Wha-What!? Why would you hate Hearth’s Warming?” She asked in disbelief. I sighed and averted my eyes from her. "Well, Christmas... Hearth’s Warming is all about family, right? Well, even if I did sometimes have a nice day with my brother, it never really felt like we had anybody to share it with.” I shrugged. “I don’t know; it just always felt sad... Like, empty, and depressing. My brother would show up for a few hours with me, but after that, I was alone for the whole day.” I shook my head, trying to remove my emotions. “Can we not talk about that anymore?” Flurry nodded sympathetically and leaned down to nuzzle me. “Sorry.” I reciprocated the nuzzle with a small laugh: “It’s not your fault; I’m the one ruining the festive mood you have…” She walked over to my side and nudged my side aggressively. “Come on, I wanna show you something!” I tried to stand my ground for a moment, but she eventually pushed me over, and I had to comply as I stood up and raised my brow at her. She bounded over to the other side of the living room with the fireplace and tree. She sat down at the base of the massive tree and looked back at me, patting the ground next to her. I made my way over and sat down confusedly. She pointed at the bottom of the tree, “Well, this is what an actual Hearth’s Warming looks like!” She happily giggled. I gazed around at the assortment of colorful presents and the ornaments twinkling in the fireplace’s reflection. There had to be upwards of a hundred presents packed under the tree. It was very pretty; I couldn’t deny that. I laughed a bit and looked over at her. “It does look very pretty, I’ll admit. I didn’t take you as someone with such materialistic values, though.” I said while sticking my tongue out slightly. She huffed, “I’m not showing you the tree because of that!” I tilted my head, and Flurry smirked at me, pointing at one of the many presents and the tag hanging off it. “Alright, you’ve been practicing nonstop; tell me what that tag says." I lowered my head and stared at the assortment of letters; the only one I could make out was an R, and since neither Cadance nor Shining had one in their name, I happily sat back up with a smug grin. “It says Flurry, that’s easy.” She gave me an even more smug grin, sticking her tongue out playfully. “Well, you’re wrong! Guess you should’ve practiced more after all!” She giggled to herself. I sat in annoyance and grumbled to myself. I can’t believe I mistook a different letter for their R; it was one of the ones I was sure I had completely learned already… “Silly, it’s your present.” My breath hitched, and my head locked onto hers with disbelief. “H-Huh?” She raised a brow as a large smile covered her face. “It’s your present.” She leaned down over it and inspected the tag. "It says, ‘To: Kieran, From: Cadance, and Shining with Love.’” I didn’t know what to feel; I was completely and utterly frozen with way too many feelings. Flurry leaned back again, glancing at me to see my conflicting emotions. “There’s presents here for everyone—our aunts, grandparents, everyone in our family.” She poked her hoof at my chest, “And guess who else? You.” She reiterated. She began pacing the tree, pointing at every present she could see that had my name on it. She was reaching into nearly a dozen presents as my mind went fuzzy, my brain unable to process them. “This one, this one, oh! This one’s for both of us!” “But… why?” I finally asked with disbelief. Flurry happily pranced back over gleefully, putting both her front hooves on my shoulders. “Because you’re right, Hearth’s Warming is meant to be spent with family and those you love. It’s not about the presents, but you wanna know what they showcase the best?” She paused for dramatic effect as I held onto every word she said: “That we all love you, and that you’re part of the family!” That was it for me, I couldn’t grasp a coherent word or sentence anymore. It started with a few tears and quickly evolved into full tears pouring down my cheeks. Flurry seemed more than happy to pull me towards herself in a large hug and seemed not to care when my tears soaked her fur as I buried my face in her neck. I couldn’t even contain the slight whimpering I was making while crying, either. Flurry rubbed my back with her wings and continued to nuzzle the back of my head. “Don’t be so surprised!.. You know momma and daddy love you.” She told me quietly. “Momma would go to the moon and back to make you happy, Kieran. At least she has said the same about me, so the same goes for you too, alright?” I nodded slowly and sniffled, and she smiled and patted the top of my head. “There there, little me, it’s alright.” I backed away from her gently, laughing a bit as I wiped my eyes. “We’re the same size and age…” She giggled. "Yes, but if I made you to be like me, then you’re technically younger than me by at least a single second or two.” She said in a matter-of-fact tone. I just rolled my eyes and scoffed. “Maybe you need to be taking classes with me and Cadance. I don’t think that head is working quite the same.” We both laughed together until we heard hoofsteps approaching, and Cadance walked in. Her wings were slightly ruffled and parted as if she were feeling threatened or startled, and her ears were alert. “I heard crying; is everything alright?” She asked quickly as she came over. She quickly noticed my red eyes and puffy cheeks. “What’s wrong, honey?” She immediately picked me up in her aura as she sat down, pulling me towards her chest in a secure hug. “Nothing’s wrong.” I said with a nervous smile. Cadance’s eyebrow raised, and she looked at Flurry for confirmation. Flurry nodded, and she gave me another look of curiosity. “Well, something had you crying. You can’t hide those tears from me.” She said this while poking my stomach. “I know everything about my little foals.” She put on a fake, evil smile. I giggled, and so did Flurry. Flurry pointed up at her, “Momma’s don’t know everything! You’re faking it.” Cadance lifted her eyebrows more. “Is that a challenge, little filly?” She levitated Flurry into her aura as she squealed, then brought her over into her forelegs as well, and she stared at us both with curiosity. “Oh? Is this something I’m not supposed to know about?” I blushed nervously. “It’s really nothing!” Cadance glanced at Flurry for confirmation, and she gave a gleeful smile. “Everything is okay, momma.” She sighed with a large smile. “Okay… Well, if everything’s alright, then I guess it’s bedtime!” Flurry groaned, and Cadance gave a slight laugh. “You know, if you go to sleep early tonight, you’ll be one step closer to seeing your aunties.” That seemed to be enough motivation, as Flurry suddenly disappeared in a cloud of smoke that was vaguely filly-shaped. Leaving a bewildered look on mine and Cadance’s faces. She eventually giggled, set her focus back on me, and gave me a loving nuzzle. “I hope you know you can talk to me and Shining about anything, Kieran; we’ll always be here for you, little one.” I averted my eyes and nodded happily, which she was content with: “Let’s get some sleep then.” She started humming happily as she set me on her back. “Kieran…” A whisper reached my ear. “Kieran…” A more insistent whine escaped Flurry’s lips as she poked my cheek. I rolled over in my tired state, groaning annoyedly. “Is this going to be a recurring problem, Flurry? I like my sleep.” I said with a huff, bringing the pillow up and covering my entire head with it. “Oh… sorry, Kieran.” She said a bit quietly as she settled herself back down. Amidst my better judgment, I took the pillow off and looked at her curiously. “What was it?” She blushed and turned away from me again, showing her back. “Nothing, forget about it.” I shrugged, about to return to the call of slumber, but as I settled back down again, she spoke up. “Can you ask momma and daddy to adopt you?” I rolled back over. The look on her face was pleading like a small puppy, and she was clasping her hooves together, begging me for the answer she wanted. I tilted my head. “Why?” “I-I just…” She looked flustered as her eyes darted around the room. “On Hearth’s Warming, I want to introduce you to everyone in the family as my sibling, not just as Kieran.” I smiled a bit and laughed. “Hearth’s Warming isn’t just about me. Your family is going to be here to see you, Cadance, Shining…” “Don’t you dare consider yourself an afterthought.” Flurry warned me with a stern glare. “I wasn’t going to say that,” I said with a laugh. “I’m just trying to tell you not to worry about me. I’m happy as is.” She looked down at her hooves and sighed sadly, “Are you still... scared? Of having another family..." My eyes widened, but my smile softened more. “I was... But for now, I’m just more worried about being a functional pony.” I said while holding my hoof up for emphasis. “And continuing to lament not having opposable thumbs..." “You know what the greatest Hearth’s Warming gift I could have is?” Flurry questioned me while putting on the cutest head tilt and puppy dog eyes. I could obviously tell where she was going with this: “It would be you becoming my brother!” She pronounced happily. She lunged forward and attached herself to my front legs. “Come on~” she whined. “It won’t hurt anything to try!” She begged me even further. I laughed as I tried to pry her off my foreleg, but she had an absolute death grip on me. “Flurry, be serious.” I said, trying to hide my laughter and smile. “No royal family would be caught dead with a street rat for a successor.” She unburrowed her face from my leg and glared at me. “You are not!” She huffed. “You’re still me, remember?" “How could I forget?” I asked with a half-eye-roll. She sighed, “My point is, my point is..." She got really flustered and red, trying to counter my point. Eventually, she grunted in annoyance and stamped her hoof. “My point is that you should just trust me and do it anyway! I don’t care what other ponies think; Momma, Daddy, and I all love you no matter what." There were the sickeningly sweet words I’d grown accustomed to in the past week I’d been taken in. I couldn’t help but blush wildly and attempt to hide my face. But Flurry shoved her own face right in front of mine, so I couldn’t even do that. “Flurry, why do you-” “No! I’ll tell you a million times, whether you like it or not.” She interrupted me quickly as she leaned in closer and nuzzled me. “I don’t care what others said about you before; I don’t care about anybody in your past life; I only care about this Kieran. The one right in front of me.” My body felt frozen without any clue of how to react. “Flurry…” I muttered unsurely. She pulled away and gave me such a sincere look that I’d have to be a monster to refute anything she said afterward. “I know that you’ve been hurt in the past and that it’s really scary being here after everything that happened…” She paused with a sad look. “Now that you’re here, I’d have a really hard time without you.” I sighed, gave up trying to hide, and brought my hooves down to give her a final curious look. “Flurry… Thanks, I… I’m just scared to ask.” I mumbled nervously while rubbing my fetlock for comfort. She nodded eagerly. “I’m positive!” Her horn glowed faintly in the darkness. “You should go ask now; I think they’re still in the living room!” She urged me excitedly. She came up behind me and began headbutting my rump to force me to go. I jumped from the bed with a sigh and looked back up at her. “O-Okay… I’ll be back.” She nodded eagerly and shooed me off. “Yes, yes, you will. Now go, new sibling.” I turned my back to her and headed for the door. “Oh? Am I getting promoted from minion to sibling so easily? Thanks boss.” I said with a small laugh. I heard her giggle as I reached the door; thankfully, she opened it for me and shut it just as quickly as I stepped out. It was now that I was alone, without the peer pressure of Flurry urging me on, that I realized just how absurdly nervous I was. My legs were shaking underneath me, and I could feel my heartbeat in my throat, which was pounding and felt like a hundred miles per hour. I could just… sleep somewhere else and pretend I asked them? No, Flurry would easily find out. Every step I took towards the living room made me feel like I was about to have a mini-panic attack. What if they didn’t want me after all? What if… No, what-ifs never help, and they’re usually wildly overexaggerated. I brought a hoof up to my chest, placed it where my rapidly beating heart was, and held it there as I took deep breaths. No matter how much stalling I did, the act didn’t really quell the nervousness; it only prolonged the anticipation. The door to the living room was cracked open, and I could hear Shining and Cadance talking quietly inside. How was I supposed to start this conversation anyway? “Hey, I’m sorta a failure; I was super rude to you at first, acted super edgy, and actively sabotaged your kingdom… But can you adopt me anyway, even though you’re one of the most powerful families in Equestria?” Like… how do you just… ask somebody to adopt you? I groaned to myself quietly as I lowered my head into my hoof, lamenting the fact that I let myself get peer pressured into this situation. With disdain for the situation I was in, I steeled myself and took a long breath. Things weren’t going to get easier; I just had to start… So with that in mind, I gently wormed my way through the crack in the door. As attentive as they were, they both instantly stopped speaking as they looked towards the door. Cadance quickly spotted me and gave me a wide, loving smile. “Kieran, what’s wrong?” Shining fixed me with a curious look as well. It was then that I noticed my legs had started shaking again, and I quickly rectified that and stood straight as an arrow as I tensed every muscle I could. “O-Oh? Nothing!” I said with a short, nervous laugh. “I just came in here to ask…” I felt a knot form in my throat as I suddenly choked on the air I was breathing. Cadance tilted her head with a worried smile. “Ask what, honey?” I felt sweat forming on my brows as I tried not to quiver like a leaf. “I… I-I came to ask if… if you could…” In all my days, I've never thought something would be this hard to say. It felt like I was being forced to say something that went against my very being, as my throat was constricted as if I were being strangled by a snake. Cadance and Shining were patient as they sat there, giving each other curious and worried glances. But just before Cadance could question me further, I blurted out the question. “Can you get me a glass of water, please?” I finished with an awkward smile. There! I said it! I asked them! Wait… No, I just asked for water. Now they’re looking at each other worriedly again. They know I was lying, don’t they? Cadance carefully untangled herself from Shining and smiled sweetly at me. “Of course, Kieran, you should’ve just asked sooner.” Any hint of her worry was seemingly washed away from her features as she gestured to me to follow her. I nodded and trotted a bit to catch up. As I passed by Shining, he was continuing to give me a curious look, which nearly made me freeze up again as I sucked in another breath. When I caught up with Cadance, she looked at me happily and turned to guide me to the kitchen. “Would you like water? Or maybe some milk? As a filly, I always used to love a warm glass of milk before bed.” She asked me as she began humming sweetly. I froze momentarily in the presence of another question: “O-Oh, uh, water is fine.” She nodded, and when we got to the kitchen, Cadance gingerly levitated me up and onto a nearby table, setting me down gently as she pulled out a glass and began pouring. The silence was deafening; other than the sound of the water slowly filling the cup, all I could hear was my still rapid heart beating in my chest. And the quiet was only amplifying that fear. Did I still have to ask her? Maybe Flurry was already asleep, and I could just return without her noticing? As she was pouring, Cadance glanced my way worriedly, causing me to freeze again, and so I gave her a smile to placate her worries. She seemed unsure of it, but she still smiled back with the same amount of love as she always did. “Here you go,” she said while approaching with the glass. I nodded and did as I usually did when we ate together, allowing her to raise the glass to my lips. I took a few sips, eventually realizing how thirsty I actually was, and proceeded to drink most of the glass. Cadance laughed idly. “You were a little thirsty, huh?” She pulled it away when I was finished and then wiped my face for me. “There… all better?” She asked happily. I nodded; the water did actually help my nerves. Cadance nodded happily back at me. "Good." She levitated me onto her back as she set the glass in the sink. We left the kitchen, and I sighed internally as my face fell. Of course, I didn’t have the nerves to ask a question like that. I’d just have to deal with Flurry’s disappointment and go back to sleep regardless. And if I wasn’t cut out for asking such a simple question, why should I worry about disappointing anyone… When we arrived in the living room again, she paused her walking to look at me. “Would you like me to tell you a story to put you to sleep, dear?” She asked curiously. I shuffled nervously again, my voice getting quieter with every word. "N-No, I’m fine I… Yeah, I’m okay; don’t worry.” Cadance released a sigh as Shining and her stared at each other for a while. Exchanging looks that were mysteriously translated into words between each other. Cadance did not head in the direction of Flurry’s room; instead, she laid down right in the same spot as Shining. Before I could even question it, I was levitated off of her back and in between the two on the couch. I looked at her questioningly with fear in my eyes, and Cadance refixed me with that worried look from earlier. “Honey, something is on your mind, and don’t try and tell me it isn’t.” Cadance said sternly. Shining glanced down at me, his head resting on his two front hooves. “You were shaking like a leaf, little one. What’s going on?” He asked while giving me a small nudge. Now that I knew they were both onto me, my earlier heartbeat and shaking returned in full force. “I swear, I was just really thirsty!” I said it almost defiantly with a dismissive wave of my hoof. Cadance laid her head down in front of me and almost seemed to stare through my soul. “Your heartbeat says otherwise. You’ve asked for a drink many times, but you don’t usually act so panicked. You’re not acting like yourself.” Shining hummed in agreement, “You also took a minute to come up with the idea of asking for a drink. I mean, we know you dislike baths, but if it evolves into a fear of drinking water, we’ll have another problem.” He said with a short laugh. Cadance giggled at his joke, then leaned in and nuzzled me, squeezing her cheek against mine lovingly. “Please, you can tell us anything, little one. And no matter what it is, we’ll be here.” Even with their words, I still found my chest pounding in terror, my words stuck in my throat. I was absolutely terrified, and I had absolutely no idea why exactly. But that terror led to tears, which I quickly covered with my hooves as I cowered backwards farther into the couch. I couldn’t hold back the emotion, releasing a few small whimpers. Now Cadance and Shining were stricken with worry, and there was nothing I could do to back out of the situation. “Oh, sweetie…” Cadance cooed softly. Cadance and Shining both leaned in closer as I guarded my body like a quivering wild animal backed into a corner. Cadance was seemingly heartbroken for me: “I’m here; I’m right here, little one.” She reassured me as she gently nuzzled my head. “Tell me what’s wrong, please." Shining looked lost for answers but was clearly just as heartbroken. “We can help. I promise!” He sighed. “Talk to us, please, won’t you?” I momentarily stopped in my gasping for breath while crying, peeking out from under my hooves at the two that had done nothing but give me unconditional love since I got here. “It’s just a… a scary question.” I stuttered while sniffling through my tears, “Can we just pretend I never left bed?” I mumbled sadly. Cadance shook her head. “I will not just forget! I’ve never seen my little Kieran so upset other than the night I found you.” She said with a huff. “If you only trust me with whatever is wrong, I’ll make you feel better. I promise, honey.” “I-I can’t just… say it!” I countered desperately, annoyed by my own weakness, “I’m not deserving of it…” I shook my head and covered my face with my hooves again. I didn’t think they would, but if the answer was no, I honestly don’t know how I’d feel afterwards. Devastated? Relieved? Shining shook his head and nuzzled my hooves to try and remove them from my face. “Nothing is too scary to ask around those who truly love you. I have a feeling that you’re afraid of the answer we might give. Is that correct?” He studied me for a response, and I momentarily nodded. He sighed and lowered his head in front of mine. His look was stern, but still soft and caring. “No matter what the question is or how we answer it, we’ll still love you afterwards, we promise. I’d bet all my magic on it." Shining looked over at Cadance for confirmation, and she quickly nodded in agreement as she rested her wing over me. “I’d bet my alicornhood, my kingdom, and all the magic in Equestria if I could. No matter what it is, we love you, Kieran.” She said this as she cupped my cheeks in her hooves and kissed my forehead. I sighed as my tears seemed to have stopped, my breaths still a bit shaky as I glanced at them both. Well, there was no better time to ask... “I-I was… I came out to ask if… if…” I pushed past the knot in my throat and took a deep breath. “Can you… can…” I grunted in annoyance at myself as Cadance began petting my mane. She hummed soothingly, “Just tell us, sweetie; it’ll feel much better after.” I nodded and took another breath. “I came out to ask if you two... would you be okay with... maybe... adopting me?” Both their eyes widened, and even though the silence was short, I still felt a wave of shame and horror rise in my body. Surely it was a stupid question? Why had I asked a royal family something substantial like that? But no, Cadance wanted to be my mother, right? “Is that it?” Shining asked with a confused head tilt. My body stiffened, and I avoided eye contact as I muttered worriedly, “You don’t have to.” Shining stuttered in surprise, “N-No! We…” I felt my breath freeze and my stomach drop at the word no. “We absolutely will!” He quickly continued with a chuckle. But his reaction and my words were quickly drowned out by the short, uncharacteristic squeal of happiness that Cadance released. “Yes! A million times yes!” She said, nearly at the same time as him, as she pulled me into her chest lovingly, “You’re so silly! You were worried I’d be upset about getting to be your momma of all things?” My breath caught in my throat as I stared at her with wide eyes. I was nearly dizzy in the head at the sudden whiplash of hearing her joy. Well, I guess it was a stupid question. But only because I was totally underestimating how much they loved me... I blushed madly as she continued to hug me with barely contained restraint. “Is that… really okay?” I asked with a sigh of relief mixed with a bit of confusion. Shining laughed heartily. “Kieran, you’re adorable.” He took a big sigh of relief as well. “Did you even have to ask, buddy? I’m pretty sure you knew the answer already. What even made you so nervous to ask?” He leaned in and nuzzled the back of my head. Cadance seemed to calm down a bit as she lowered me in between her front hooves, giving me the most loving smile I’d ever seen, her eyes wide and filled with happiness. “My foal~” she practically sang, “Oh, I love you so much, Kieran.” She cooed as she contained even more happy sounds. Shining laughed more at Cadance’s reaction and my dumbfounded look. He leaned down closer to me and whispered, “If you couldn’t tell by her reaction, she’s been hoping for this for a while; she’s absolutely over the moon.” I smiled and released a short laugh as Cadance blushed. “How could I not be? I’ve been wanting a new foal for a decade and a half!" Shining huffed a bit of laughter and continued whispering to me, “She was about a day or two from asking you herself; she’s been slightly impatient about it around me. I’ve had to talk her down multiple times; I told her to give you space.” “I don’t care what you say~” Cadance said in regards to Shining in a song-like tone, swaying her head back and forth joyously. “I have a new foal, I’m so happy." The reality set in quite quickly as I felt warmth and safety radiating from both of them. I finally released all the tension I’d built up and fully relaxed in her grip, which resulted in me releasing a fit of giggling laughter at Cadance’s reaction to the whole situation. My anxiety had been all for naught, and how could I even be surprised? "Oh, there he is! There’s my Kieran.” She nuzzled me happily. “You’re the best Hearth’s Warming gift I could’ve ever asked for.” She spoke quietly as she rested her head over mine. “Thanks… I think.” I said with a bit more of a laugh. She finally retracted enough to see my beet-red face. She realized the overbearingness of her words as she cleared her throat and returned a bit to her usual state of calm she usually kept. Though I had to admit that seeing her less restrained side was surprising, it was equally endearing and even more loving than usual. Suddenly Cadance seemed to remember something, and her eyes looked at me scoldingly as she was inches from my face. “Now why in Equestria did you say that you’re not deserving of it? I ought to give you extra lessons for nonsense like that.” She reprimanded me while aggressively booping my nose. My face drained of color. “W-Well, I... I didn’t know if it would look bad for you guys… I’m just some foal off the streets; I’m not special in any way other than getting wrapped up in Flurry’s spell. I’m not royalty.” I listed off quietly. Shining nudged me, “Well, you certainly are now.” He sighed. “And do you really think we would care so much for our image that we’d say no? That’s just silly.” “Well, no, I… kinda? I’m sorry…” I stumbled on my words nervously. Cadance hummed and shook her head. “You don’t have to be special; you don’t have to be royalty; you wouldn’t even have to be a pony.” She leaned in and kissed my head. “You just have to be my foal, and that’s plenty deserving enough for me.” She rubbed my side with her fetlock soothingly. Shining leaned in more and locked eyes with me. “We don’t love titles around here; we love ponies. And we all love you, Kieran. You’re family now.” I smiled appreciatively, and he nuzzled the side of my face and said, “Welcome home.” I blushed greatly. “Th-Thank you both... As long as you’re both happy, then I’m happy.” Shining retracted a bit with a suspicious gaze. “I also have a sneaking suspicion that all of this was a ploy.” Shining examined me curiously, causing Cadance to look at him questioningly. Shining sighed with a short laugh. “Flurry put you up to asking, didn’t she? I doubt you would’ve without her pressuring you.” Cadance fixed him with what I can only assume was a warning glare. Shining’s eyes widened, and he quickly leaned in and nuzzled me once again. “Not that I’m unhappy, you asked!” He reassured me quickly. “I didn’t mean for it to come off in a negative way. Whether it was your idea or not doesn’t matter.” I nodded and nuzzled him back. “I know you didn’t mean it that way.” I replied with a short giggle. He smiled and poked my stomach. “Great. Now, spill it, am I right?” I laughed a bit and shook my head. “No, it wasn’t my idea… She really wanted to introduce me to her aunts as her siblings, and well, She was very convincing. I think I let myself get peer pressured.” Cadance hummed worriedly, “Oh no, why would Flurry…” She trailed off before fixing me with an apologetic frown. “Kieran, sweetie, if you aren’t comfortable with it yet, we can hold off. You don’t have to do it just because she said so. I don’t want to take that choice from you!” I quickly shook my head and leaned in closer to her chest, maybe with a bit more panic than I’d wanted to. Cadance quickly pulled me in closer once again as I mumbled in embarrassment, "N-No, it's... I’m okay. I’m happy.” I said it sincerely as a warm smile spread from the comfort of her forelegs wrapped around me. “I probably wouldn’t have ever asked otherwise... I get in my own head too much.” Shining ruffled my hair. “Still, I think we should talk to her; taking advantage of you on something vulnerable like that isn’t okay.” Cadance nodded. Things began to grow quiet as Cadance stroked my back and held me close to herself. Eventually she looked down at me as I released a large yawn. “For now, I’m going to take my new foal to bed.” She said those words as if they were the best words in the entire world. “Is that alright?” She asked me gingerly as she brushed some hair away from my eye. I glanced up and smiled with a nod before she placed me on her back. I was feeling the weight of emotions and was already struggling to stay awake on her back. The amount of adrenaline keeping me awake this whole time and willing to ask such a scary question had dispersed, and now I just felt like passing out. I wanted to stay awake. I wanted to tell Cadance and Shining a bunch more things about how much I appreciated them. However, I still lacked the courage to say them fully; they were nice thoughts. I’d achieved the goal Flurry gave me after all, and that was enough for now. Cadance and Shining both curled up comfortably under the covers of their soft beds. Cadance held me impossibly close as my head rested in the crook of her neck, the warmth of her soft chest fur feeling like an impenetrable wall of warmth and safety against the cold world sitting just outside the castle walls. And in that lull of sleep and racing thoughts, I released a small snore, which nearly woke me up once again. Making me wonder for a second if everything that I’d thought happened was just a simple dream. Cadance laughed and nuzzled me sweetly. “Rest your mind, honey. Some well-deserved rest awaits you. Sweet dreams, my little one.” Those words were like a balm to my soul, as sleep embraced me without trouble. > 16.5 - Royal Interlude > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Kieran.” “Kieran…” I raised my head from the comforts of the fluffy bed I was tucked into and said, “H…Huh?” My eyes opened leisurely as I reached a hoof up to rub my eyes. The dim lighting of one of the castle’s rooms came into view, a quiet fireplace crackling in the corner bathing the room in warmth. Luna was sitting by the bedside, smiling happily at me. "Hello, little one.” She muttered quietly, almost to match the fireplace. I yawned, lowering my head against the pillow again as my eyes fought to stay open. “Oh, hi Luna.” I paused for a moment and huffed, “Auntie.” I tacked on. She giggled, carefully hopping up onto the foot of the bed and settling next to me. She laid her head on her hoof to gaze at me. “So tired that you have to nap within your sleep?” It took a moment for my brain to register what she meant as my eyes opened again and I stared at her for a second. Eventually my eyes widened, and I sat up and said, “Oh, yeah, I’m already sleeping.” She giggled again as she raised a brow and gave me a once-over. “Has anything happened recently? I’m noticing a distinct change.” I tilted my head and looked down, only now noticing my hooves. It now occurred to me how abnormal this was for a dream of mine. “I’m a pony.” I said with a hum. “Mhm.” Luna nodded. “You seem to have quelled some sort of conflict in you. Your inner self reflects your outer self. And I get to appreciate my new nephew in all of his pony-ness.” She said this as she leaned in and squished her cheek against mine. I laughed and lightly pushed her away. “You mean your niece’s body with a human stuck in her brain?” “You’re so much more than that.” Luna remarked as she pulled back. “That’s what Cadance seems to think.” I stated with a yawn. I drifted closer to her in the covers until I was up against her side, and we laid there comfortably for a while longer. After a while, Luna brushed my hair back and asked, “Has Cadance ever told you the story? Why she never had another foal?” I shook my head and looked up at her curiously. “No? I just thought she was unable to or something.” Luna hummed, “Not quite; it’s something else a bit more personal, and I’m not sure she’d love me telling you.” I huffed, “Well, you’re the one who brought it up…” “Indeed, I did.” Luna contemplated for a moment. “Can you tell me?” I asked curiously. “Hmm… I don’t know; it’s an odd story.” Luna trailed off. "Please, Auntie Luna?” I asked while attempting my first set of puppy dog eyes, quivering lips, and all. It worked wonderfully. “Of course, little one.” She cooed, nuzzling my cheek. I could get used to having this sort of power over people! Though I better not abuse it like Flurry... She cleared her throat. “Well, it was about a year after Twilight became ruler of Equestria…” ------------------------------------------------------------------- ~It was during a get-together for the Summer Sun Celebration. Cadance, Shining, Celestia, and I were all visiting Canterlot. It was the first time we’d all been together since Twilight’s coronation. Somehow the topic arose, and Cadance confessed to all of us.~ All the adults watched Flurry in the corner, desperately grasping up at the dangling toy that a young Spike was hovering over her. “Come on, Flurry! Just a little higher!” He encouraged her as he held in a laugh. “Spi! Give!” Flurry babbled clumsily as she tried to use him as a foothold. The adults all watched together for a while happily, until Celestia focused back on Cadance. "Sorry, my dear, but have you had any… luck?” Cadance’s eyes widened, and she quickly took on a much more solemn look as she shook her head. “No… Unfortunately.” Shining put his hoof around her and soothingly rubbed her back. Cadance hung her head low. “The doctors don’t know why, but they say it may have something to do with magic.” Twilight furrowed her brow. “In what way?” Shining took over for her. “Well, almost every doctor has given the same diagnosis. It’s not… us… that’s the problem. They think that she may be unable to produce enough magic to have an offspring.” This is nearly unheard of in ponies. A pony needs to have enough magic available for their offspring to absorb before birth. Though this magic can never outright take enough that it would leave the mother without magic, and it replenishes over time as would normal magic. “That’s nonsense!” Luna denied, “You have plenty of magic; surely you have enough?” “That’s what we thought too,” Cadance said with a half-hearted shrug. “But it was our only guess.” Celestia reached her hoof over, setting it atop Cadance’s. “Surely there’s an explanation, dear. Don’t give up hope yet.” Twilight nodded and dawned a sympathetic smile. “I wouldn’t worry about it yet. You’re an alicorn; magic is in your blood.” Cadance giggled. “I suppose you're correct.” “Momma! Momma!” Flurry came crying over to her mother, "Spi, have toy!” The table tried to hold in their laughter as Cadance tilted her head. “Oh, is that so little one?” She reached her hoof up, jostling the toy, which was hooked around her horn with a ring. “Because I see it right here!” “Oh,” Flurry mumbled, looking down in confusion, before turning with a red face and running, jingling with the toy on her head, “Spi! Say sorry!” She demanded as Spike began running. ~And to Cadance’s credit, she never gave up on her hopes. For a year, then another, three whole years went by. Cadance had both accepted that she’d only been blessed with one foal, but at the same time, she was still just as sad now and again.~ ------------------------------------------------------------------- “Why didn’t she just adopt?” I asked curiously, interrupting her story. Luna looked me dead in the eyes and seriously said, “She did.” I put my hoof up and batted her face lightly. “You know what I mean!” I whined with a small groan. “Like other foals.” Luna giggled, “Yes. Well, for two reasons. For one, children do not stay in orphanages very long in Equestria.” “They don’t?” I asked with surprise. She shook her head. “The princesses themselves will provide enough bits and usually a permanent residence to whomever adopts.” I huffed and pursed my lips. “Are there really that many ponies?” I asked slowly. She shook her head. “Orphans are rare in themselves here. I know you’ve told me stories about your time on earth.” She smiled, “Our system is not like that. We make absolutely sure to take care of our own.” I nodded slowly, with a sigh. “What’s the second reason?” "Well, the second reason is that Cadance would never deny the potential for others to adopt before her. She would never force herself to the front of the line to adopt a foal. Even if she could, with a few simple words," Luna released a somber bit of laughter. “Trust me, we tried to convince her it was okay, but she never listened.” “So she’s just stubborn. Got it.” I replied with a small laugh. “Quite.” Luna agreed. ------------------------------------------------------------------- ~Eventually, Cadance looked to outside means for help. As the years went by, she became increasingly suspicious and unsure of their original explanation. She researched and read everything she could, eventually coming to the conclusion that nothing was wrong with her. It was when she was visiting Twilight some years later that the topic of the mystery was brought up again. And Twilight had a new idea.~ “Have you tried asking Harmony?” Twilight asked, taking a sip from her tea. Cadance gave her a raised eyebrow and an odd look. “What? I’ve never entertained the idea that you could actually… talk to Harmony.” Twilight shrugged leisurely. “Since the elements were destroyed and things haven’t quite fallen apart, Harmony must continue somewhere as her own being.” “You mean like Discord is his own entity?” Cadance wondered. “I guess it’s not too far-fetched to assume Harmony exists in a similar fashion.” “Oh, it’s not an assumption; Harmony is real. I’ve talked to them.” Cadance’s wings ruffled. “What!?” She exclaimed. Twilight tilted her head, “Yep. They come to me in dreams, usually. But they’ve given me advice for future endeavors. It’s very rare, but quite useful!” Cadance now stared at Twilight with unsureness. “Mhm, so a talking being gives you advice in your head sometimes while you sleep. Advice that usually turns out to be real and useful.” Twilight slowly nodded as Cadance threw her hooves up in defeat. “Okay, that’s perfectly Twilight enough for me to believe it.” Twilight laughed, “I didn’t always believe it either. But a couple times I went against their advice, and things really started to fall apart.” Cadance sighed. "Well, then how do I speak to them? It doesn’t exactly sound like a talkative sort of spirit.” “Maybe ask Discord?” Twilight proposed. ------------------------------------------------------------------- “Auntie, who’s Discord, really? Every time I asked Cadance, she just huffed and rolled her eyes, telling me I’m better off not knowing.” I asked quietly. Luna hummed, “He is a spirit of chaos and disharmony. He used to be sort of a problem, but he’s… mostly good now. As you could guess, interacting with him is one of the most confusing things possible.” “How confusing?” I questioned further. “The sort of confusion where he could turn you into a bug, flip the entire world upside down, and make gravity nonexistent just for fun.” She said this while poking my stomach. My eyes lit up. “He sounds cool.” She didn’t know how to take that as she hummed unsurely, “He’s... interesting. But he can be quite annoying.” ------------------------------------------------------------------- ~So Cadance followed that advice. Now searching for a way to finally contact Harmony. She spent a year like that, but with absolutely no luck, she began to grow increasingly frustrated. Flurry was old enough that she’d been in school for a couple of years, and Flurry’s loneliness was really weighing on Cadance’s shoulders. She doubled her efforts even more, running her energy dry and making every single one of us worry about her. Unfortunately, Cadance would get her answer one night. During one of our get-togethers where every alicorn was present. Somehow, they’d convinced Discord to be a mediator between themselves and Harmony.~ “Harmony doesn’t want you to have any more foals.” Discord said with a shrug. The room went silent as everyone stared at him in confusion. Discord laughed sheepishly as he held his claws up. “Whoa, whoa! Before you go crazy, I’m just the messenger!” He declared while turning himself into a letter and making a mailbox appear as he shoved himself inside it. Twilight groaned and walked over, opening the mailbox angrily. “Discord! Get out here and explain!” At once, the mailbox disappeared, and he returned to his regular self. “What? What!? I have nothing else to give you!” Celestia huffed, “Explain. What happened?” Discord sighed, “Alright, alright.” He summoned himself up a lavish-looking chair, materializing a monocle and suit on himself as he pulled out a wine glass. “Gather around children and listen to my story of-” “Discord…” Twilight growled another warning. Discord looked up; the room’s mood was somber from his regular antics. Cadance was already weeping in the corner as Shining tried to comfort her to the best of his abilities. “Just tell us what happened.” Twilight pleaded. “I couldn’t get a direct answer out of them.” Discord said with a sigh. “You know how they are; they’ve never liked me.” Luna huffed, “So Harmony didn’t actually say that she didn’t want Cadance to have any more foals? You made it up?” Discord hummed inquisitively and shook his head. “I asked Harmony why Cadance was unable to have any more foals. Harmony simply replied that this was how things were meant to be.” They all listened with confusion. “Then what?” Twilight urged. “Well, after I asked on behalf of Cadance, Harmony looked at me oddly. Said I was trying to upset the balance of everything. Whatever that means.” Discord rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Typical of Harmony.” “Why would Harmony do that?” Luna inquired. “I tried to ask more questions, but they just told me to leave and shoved me out the metaphorical door.” Discord said with a big shrug. “I don’t know what’s got them in such a tizzy; there must be something weird in the spirit water again.” Discord grumbled to himself. There was a long bout of silence, as all that could be heard was Cadance’s sobbing and Shining’s soft voice above that. “Thank you for trying, Discord.” Celestia sighed, “At least we have an answer. As cryptic as it may be.” Discord nodded, his lower half beginning to disappear in a puff of smoke; however, he stopped as it neared his head. “Well… Sorry, I couldn’t do more.” He only stayed long enough for Cadance to look up and lock eyes with him before disappearing. ------------------------------------------------------------------- "Well, that’s depressing…” I mumbled as Luna seemed to be finished with her story. Luna stayed silent as my head swirled as I stared at the ceiling. Why would the spirit of harmony itself be keeping Cadance from having any more foals? That seemed like such an odd and un-Equestira-like thing. I’d expect Discord to be the one causing chaos instead. Luna sighed and hummed with relief. “Thankfully, she has you now. So none of that matters.” I crossed my hooves as I continued staring at the ceiling. “I think it matters... Like, what if Harmony hates me now or something?” Luna huffed, “Don’t be silly.” I looked up at her seriously and said, “No, really. I’m exactly what Cadance isn’t supposed to have. Add on the fact that I’m an alicorn, and..." Wait… There’s no way that Harmony is the reason for my magic inability… right? Luna hummed and nuzzled the top of my head. “I wouldn’t worry much, little one. This was a long time ago now; for all we know, Harmony may have changed their mind.” I still felt sore about the whole thing and scoffed, “How dare Harmony do something that evil in the first place?” I grumbled sourly. “You know they may hear you?” Luna questioned me with raised brows. I smiled and stuck my tongue out. “What’re they going to do? I bet they’re already seething, knowing that some random kid from Earth ruined all of their evil, nefarious plans.” I waved my arms dramatically. Luna giggled. “Maybe you and Discord would get along, as crazy as that is.” “What are these?” Bristle released a curious hum as the contents of a sac were dumped onto his desk unceremoniously. “Evidence.” The bored grey unicorn mare with purple and orange hair remarked with a smirk. Bristle opened the bag, and what met his eyes only confused him even more as he glanced up. The mare was leaning against his desk leisurely. “Miss Wither Wisp, I have no idea what this is.” The mare raised her brow, seemingly uncaring, as she shrugged her shoulders. “You had us out in that dusty wasteland for a week searching for evidence that something happened.” She gestured towards the bag and said, “There’s your evidence. Get some sort of scientist to analyze it... or something, I don’t know.” Wither commented with a sigh. Bristle grumbled, “Did you find tracks? Evidence for what did all of that? Anything?” Wither huffed, “A bunch of desert. We only found these because we got desperate enough to dig up sand around the blast site.” “So they could mean nothing..?” Bristle asked incredulously, which was only met with another half-hearted shrug. Bristle grasped his muzzle with his hoof in annoyance. “Is there anything else you’d like to report Wither?” She hummed, putting genuine thought into it for a moment. “Nah.” He nodded slowly, “Understood, at ease than.” She smiled and gave a rather unofficial salute, “Later.” She called as she headed for the door. Bristle sighed, sitting back in his chair as he poured the contents of the bag out. An array of white scales met his eyes, glistening in the light trailing in from the window behind him. The scales were polished and clean, reflecting a rainbow underneath a level of glossy toughness. Bristle carefully lifted one before banging it on the table to test its durability. “That doesn’t look very scientific.” An older mare said, clearing her throat immediately afterward. Bristle lifted his head and sheepishly smiled, putting the scale down. “Sergeant Zenith, how are you?” Zenith was a golden-colored unicorn mare with even blonder hair. Her eyes shone like rubies, and her hair was kept loosely braided. The purple robe she wore had deep burgundy accents that ran back towards her tail and slowly turned to a dusty brown near the bottom from the trip. “About as good as I can get for looking like this.” Zenith said in a huff as she dusted the bottom of her robe, barely returning the color but clouding the room with sand. Bristle laughed as Zenith approached, taking a careful seat. “I assume Wither gave her classic ‘report’ of hers.” Bristle groaned, “Honestly? Worse than usual.” “Hmm… What can you do, y’know?” Zenith said with a shrug. Bristle huffed a laugh. “I can think of a few things.” Zenith hummed, “There’s no changing that mare. She knows what we think already; we might as well leave her be.” “I think I know where she gets it, but it might be a hunch.” Bristle commented cheekily. Zenith smirked before turning her eyes down towards the scales. “Brilliant, aren’t they?” She paused to hold one delicately. “Scares me to think of the beast who left them. They’d have to be larger than a common house.” Bristle tilted his head curiously. “How do we know it holds any relevance to the pillar of light?” Zenith laughed, “We don’t! But I’d still be scared to meet a beast covered in these. They’re tougher than steel!” Bristle cracked a smile and a small laugh. “I suppose.” He waited a moment for her eyes to drift back toward him. “Anything else of intrigue happen up there?” Zenith pursed her lips and said, “Well... The cider was good! And the ponies were friendly. But as for some terrifying beast, all we have are a couple scales and a large sandy wasteland.” Zenith clicked her tongue. “Best-case scenario, whatever it was, eradicated itself with some spell gone haywire.” “And… a worst-case scenario?” Zenith paused, thinking it over for a moment before furrowing her brow. “Some ponies are going to get real unlucky then. A beast big enough to drop these scales and smart enough to hide from both Wither and me? That’s a force to be reckoned with.” Bristle nodded as Zenith hopped off her chair, grabbing one of the smaller scales in the process. “It’s all conjecture anyway. I wouldn’t worry about it much.” “What do you intend to do with that?” Bristle asked, nodding towards the scale she took. Zenith shrugged and smiled, flipping the scale like a coin and catching it. “I like a souvenir every now and again.” She put the scale up to her mouth and bit down before humming, “Ones that don’t disappear easily as well.” She headed for the door, glancing back as her red aura gripped it. "Have a good Hearth’s Warming, Bristle.” Bristle smiled and nodded back. “You as well, Zenith.” As the door clicked shut, Bristle leaned back in his chair again, a single hoof resting on his desk as he released a long sigh. “Bigger than a building, tougher than steel, and as smart as a pony...” Bristle muttered to himself. “That’s a bit worse than being unlucky.” > 17 - ...The End of Hope Itself > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Tia, are you absolutely sure that you’ve got everything?” Luna glanced over at her eager sister. The retired sun princess gave a relaxed smile and a nod, the one and only suitcase behind her levitating back down to the ground. “Hmm, well, let’s see.” Celestia wasted no time in opening the suitcase. “I have winter cloaks, all of our presents, those cookies you made, a fruitcake? Extra blankets...” Celestia continued to list off items as she dumped them out, the pile on the ground becoming increasingly large as the surrounding ponies watched on with awe and confusion. Luna cleared her throat and quickly stepped forward, throwing everything her sister pulled out back inside with her magic and locking it shut with a click. "Okay, I… get it.” She said with a blush as she pulled her cloak down to cover more of her face. “Mom? When does the train arrive?” A small voice whined, tugging on Celestia’s green scarf as it hung low to the ground. Celestia craned her neck down to the little white and golden-speckled griffon by her side. “Any time now, dear. Be patient.” She told her son while giving him a swift nuzzle. He danced carefully around his mother’s feet, weaving in between them like an obstacle course. “I wanna ride the train now~” He sang with off-key notes happily. Luna and Celestia giggled as Luna glanced down and hummed at the eccentric little griffon, “Excited to see your cousin, I see.” He nodded rapidly as he ran over and stopped at her hooves. “Yeah! Every time we go to see them, Flurry always shows me the coolest tricks with her magic!” Luna nodded slowly. “Aviri, do you know that there’s going to be another foal there this year?” His eyes widened to max size as he stared at her in disbelief and gasped, “Another? Like somepony other than Flurry?” Celestia hummed affirmatively, “I’m pretty sure you have a new cousin; his name is Kieran. And he looks just like Flurry.” “Kieran, wow!” He said happily, in awe, before tilting his head in confusion, “What do you mean by that?” Luna cleared her throat. “Well, Flurry did a really special magic trick this time and made a copy of herself. But Kieran is a completely different being who died before in an entirely different world.” “Wow…” He muttered in disbelief, his head falling to stare at the ground for a moment. His head shot right back up. “So he’s like… a weird dead changeling? I can’t wait to meet him!” “He’s not dead or a changeling, dear.” Celestia replied with a short sigh, raising a drink up to her mouth and sipping on it. “Does that mean when I die I’ll become a dragon?” Celestia nearly spit her drink out at her son’s question as Luna laughed. The train horn finally sounded in the distance, the brigade of stressed and eager ponies happily watching as it pulled into the station with heavy chuffs, the brakes screeching to a halt. It sounded its horn one last time as the doors opened, and a flood of passengers poured out. Celestia had to hold the griffon still from running forward and getting lost inside. While they waited to board, the passing of ponies bowing in respect or otherwise shooting them surprised and elated looks never ceased. Yet this caused Luna to try and hide her face even more. “Luna…” Celestia sighed. “Are you embarrassed by us?” Luna scoffed. “I’m not. It’s merely cold out.” Celestia hummed unsurely, “If you hide, it’ll only cause the mystique to extend for longer. Then you’ll never live normally.” “It’s been so long already. We will never live normally, Tia; we’re alicorns.” Luna said with an exasperated sigh, as this was the hundredth time they’d had similar conversations. “Look, look! The door’s clear! Let’s go!” Aviri dragged his mother’s front hoof gently as Celestia giggled and began walking forward. The workers were quite surprised to see the two, yet they promptly asked for their tickets and sent the trio on their way. Such was the way they’d requested that all ponies act during their retirement. Not with special treatment or general worship, as some ponies felt inclined to give. Aviri ran forward until he found an empty room on the train, the trio quickly piling into the cozy, secluded seats and shutting the sliding door. It wasn’t long before the train took off once again, in its ever-present time crunch. Aviri stared in awe at everything as it passed by, occasionally asking his mother for explanations. “Have you heard from Twilight?” Celestia asked curiously. Luna shook her head and sighed. “She’s been locking herself up, trying to figure out the...” Luna glanced at Aviri, “The… issue.” Celestia nodded understandingly. “Hopefully she has remembered what day it is and won’t miss Hearth’s Warming tomorrow.” Luna hummed, “Twilight wouldn’t miss it. Sure, she’s busy, but she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to study Kieran herself.” “I do agree. Twilight does tend to think a hundred thoughts a minute, but she’s very focused.” Celestia leaned back in her chair, happy to simply watch her son look out the window in wonder at the scenery. Suddenly, in a puff of magic flames, a message appeared right above their heads, dropping unceremoniously onto the table in front of them. The two were surprised, but after seeing the seal from the Crystal Empire, they both smiled at each other. Aviri bounded over in excitement from the window. “We just got a message from Cadance!” He chirped excitedly. Celestia nodded and quickly unsealed the letter before opening it. “Let’s see what she sent, hmm?” Aviri waited patiently for his mother to read the message to all of them. And Luna continued to rest her head on a hoof, waiting patiently with a smile. Luna studied her sister’s face, waiting for some simple words and musings about the coming gathering. But if Celestia’s face was anything to go by, it was anything but that. Her face quickly assumed a frown, which quickly turned to surprise and horror. And even tears began to well up in Celestia’s eyes. Something was wrong. Celestia looked up in shock as Luna’s wings stiffened in alarm, her heart beginning to race. “What’s wrong, Tia?” Celestia tried to speak but couldn’t find any words. Deciding to simply hoof over the letter. “Mom, is everything okay?” Aviri asked with a very worried look as he hugged his mother’s side. There was silence in the cabin as Luna’s look became horrified, more so than Celestia's, with understanding written all over her face. She quickly dropped the document onto the table and stood, her horn charging a spell. “Luna, don’t be rash.” Celestia attempted to tell her younger sister calmly. Luna continued to ignore her as her horn began humming, “Luna, please wait!” Celestia asked quickly, holding her hoof out. But the spell finished, rocking the cabin violently as a torrent of wind berated them, and Luna’s form disappeared in a cloud of twinkling dust. Leaving a shocked Celestia and a more than confused Aviri behind in the cabin alone. “Mom, I’m scared…” Aviri mumbled, quivering against her side. Celestia momentarily snapped out of it to comfort her foal, wrapping her wings around him and pulling him up to cradle him against her chest. “It’s okay, dear.” She reassured him, “Aunt Luna just forgot something at home, okay? She’ll be back.” Celestia had no idea if Aviri believed that, but regardless, the foal said no more and stayed still in her arms. Celestia’s mind was preoccupied nonetheless. Feeling a slight bit helpless, she sighed and took a deep breath. “Alright little ones, me and your father are going out for last-minute shopping because your father here forgot to get a couple things for our guests.” Cadence said, raising her eyebrows teasingly at Shining. Shining laughed sheepishly and said, “It’s been a busy week.” He shook his head. “You two, just keep having fun; we’ll be back shortly.” Shining began to walk away as Cadance gave a stern look and said, “Be good; Silver Drift will be here if you need anything.” Me and Flurry both nodded as she closed the door, and after the distraction, we quickly returned to drawing in our artbooks. A few more minutes of drawing passed by, both of us focusing on our maximum capability. “Alright, time!” Flurry announced with a short giggle. “I’ll go first!” She quickly held up her picture, a very well-drawn and detailed cat, shaded and drawn perfectly with colored pencils. It made me instantly feel very self-conscious. “Your turn.” She pointed at me. I continued to keep my artbook face down as I rubbed my neck worriedly. “Oh, uh, you win. It’s fine.” I said with a dismissive wave of the hoof. She shook her head, “No, those aren’t the rules! There must be fair judgment!” I shook my head and blushed deeply. “No, it’s bad…” I sighed. “Come on, little brother…” She begged. “Don’t call me little brother; we’re the same age.” “I will definitely call you that until you show me.” With a roll of my eyes, I sighed, “Fine, don’t laugh, please.” She nodded and crossed her heart. “Promise!” I nodded and flipped my book over, showing her the excellency of my artistic capabilities. A shrewdly drawn version of Pickles stared back at her. The legs were indistinguishable in distance and off in size. The head is something you’d expect a kindergarten child to draw. I hadn’t even been able to color inside the lines I made; it was a complete disaster. Flurry tilted her head, and her eyes widened. “Oh! It’s nice…” She said with a small smile, “I like what you did with the whiskers here. “Those were supposed to be legs.” I replied monotonously. “Oh! Well, it certainly has a lot of... Uniqueness. It’s really a one-of-a kind piece.” She said this while nodding to her own words. “It’s trash.” I replied, falling backwards onto my back and staring at the high ceilings. “No..!” She said quickly, “It’s fine! Everyone starts somewhere.” She attempted to convince me. “Plus, you can’t even use magic or hooves to draw. I would probably do just as bad if I used my mouth like you.” I laughed from my position on the ground. “Thanks. Maybe one day I’ll be better at something than you. And I’ll be just as nice about it.” She put on a smug grin as she stood over me. “No~ I get to be the best at everything; a little brother is supposed to learn from their older siblings!” I rolled over and half-glared exasperatedly at her. “Hey, I showed you the picture; the agreement was that you stop calling me little brother, and you’re still saying it. I thought you promised not to!” She booped my nose. “I promised not to laugh; I still withhold the right to coddle my little brother.” She said it teasingly. “You even failed to keep yourself from laughing!” I yelled playfully as I outstretched my hoof towards her to try and boop her back. She quickly took a couple of hops backward and said, "Oh, did I? My mistake.” She giggled as I got to my hooves and began chasing after her. I chased her around the room for quite a while, knocking over a few things along the way; however, I did manage to get closer and closer. I could feel victory quickly approaching my grasp. In the heat of our exciting game of boop tag, Flurry finally tripped over a lone toy. She turned and giggled, holding up her hooves in defense. Flurry’s horn lit up as it usually did in excitement: “Hey! You can’t catch me yet!” I got closer. “Should’ve had better balance than!” I told her right back as I lunged forward and outstretched my hoof to boop her. Though my body stopped reacting to my own desires, I stopped, unable to approach her anymore. I tried to move towards her but found I could only move away as if there was an invisible barrier between us. “Hey, not fair!” I said in genuine annoyance. “I was about to win fair and square; no magic barriers allowed!” Her eyes were widening, and after a moment of confusion, she laughed it off and said, “Sorry. Instinct, I guess…” She trailed off as she looked down at the floor, confusion covering her face. Her horn unlit itself, and I found myself able to move towards her again. I approached slowly, devastatingly slowly, and my hoof inched closer and closer until... “Boop!” I said with a giggle. She was brought out of her inner thought, and she smirked at me, “Fine, you caught me. Maybe you are better at tag than me.” “Tag isn’t a talent.” I said with a huff as I sat down. “Tag is directly related to physical prowess,” she countered, “and you did a lot of that in the streets.” I tilted my head at her and rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “I guess.” Then I smirked evilly and said, “You even tried to cheat with your magic.” She laughed it off, but she seemed caught up in thought again. But before I could question her, she bumped into my shoulder, “Come on, let’s play video games.” I hummed, “Okay, but you know I can only play the slow ones because of my hooves.” She whined, “One game using your hooves wouldn’t hurt too much.” I sighed and bumped her. “No, Silver Drift sees, and she’ll tell mom. If mom finds out, she kills me.” Flurry was silent for a while as she stared at me with wide eyes. I raised my brow and asked, “What?” She gasped, wrapped her arms around me, and squealed, “You called her mom; that's so cute!” I blushed furiously. “I-I meant to say Cadance! Cadance will get mad!” She continued to coo, “I’m gonna tell her you said it!” I blushed deeply. “F-Flurry! Get off of me!.. I can’t breathe!” Spike rushed down the hallway of the castle with purpose, as the day was growing later and he had just finished cleaning. Before being interrupted by a very important letter with the Crystal Empire seal. He finally reached Twilight’s study room, knocking loudly, then, after a moment, swinging it wide open. Twilight was in the center of a mountain of books, with countless papers of theories scattered about and crumpled on the floor. Her head was on the desk, almost certainly completely passed out. She’d been working on the research daily from sun up until sun down, unless she was forced to do something else. Spike sighed, approaching her side and shaking her gently. “Twilight, hey, Twilight, wake up.” She stirred and moved away from him. “Five more hours... Shining… No school today." Spike rolled his eyes with a smirk as he shook her a bit harder. "Twilight, wakey, wakey!” She groaned yet still didn’t wake, and Spike felt bad as he cleared his throat, using his final weapon, “Princess Twilight, what can I do to serve you?” He asked loudly, as if trying to imitate a noble. Twilight was instantly awake with a gasp, her entire body going stiff as her bloodshot eyes opened as wide as possible. “Yes! Yes, I need you to-” She stopped in confusion as the dark interior of the library met her. Spike cleared his throat again. “Sorry, Twilight.” She glanced over at the dragon, who rivaled her height in size. “Oh, Spike.” She was silent for a minute as her head cleared, and she rubbed her eyes. “It’s not a problem; it must be important, though. What is it?” Spike laughed slightly and lowered the scroll down to her level. The instant she saw the Crystal Empire’s sigil on it, she squealed and took it quickly, holding it close to her chest with happiness. "Oh, I can’t wait to see everyone tomorrow!” Spike hummed, “Speaking of which, you have already arranged your trip, right?” She nodded. “I’ll have the guards fly you, me, and Starlight there later tonight, it won’t be an issue.” “Have you packed?” Spike said with a raised brow and crossed arms. She opened her mouth and closed it with a blush. “It’ll be fine; I know how to pack quickly. Spike sighed, putting his claw to his head. “Twilight, I know how focused you are, but at least take a break for Hearth’s Warming Eve. Starlight’s been sitting alone waiting for you for half the day.” Twilight sighed sadly and nodded. “You’re right, I’ll try not to do anything else until after Hearth’s Warming.” She turned her gaze back to the table, “After I read this letter!” She announced happily, her giddy expression returning. Opening the letter to read it took merely a second, as she unwrapped it. More than anything, the first thing she noticed was how sloppily the writing had been done, as if in a panic. Yet it was still clearly written by them. “That’s an odd-looking letter,” Spike commented in curiosity as he leaned in. Twilight nodded agreeingly as she held it a bit to the right so they could both read. The more she read it, the shakier her grip got, until she had to hold it in her magic instead. Twilight’s breath became shallow as if she were having trouble not holding it, and her eyes were locked onto the paper in horror. “Twilight…” Spike spoke slowly. She continued reading, her breathing increasing in speed as she reached the end. “Spike I…” She started before cutting herself off. Even Twilight’s magic grip was beginning to fade, as she had trouble keeping her emotions straight. "Twilight, it’s okay, we can-” Spike tried, but his words were promptly forgotten as Twilight stood, throwing the scroll to the ground with a grunt of anger. Afterwards, she swept the entire desk in front of her clean, the books and papers flying everywhere in her anger. “I’m so stupid!” She yelled angrily. Spike carefully reached over, gripping her shoulder gently as she was shaking with emotion. “There’s nothing you could’ve done better, Twilight.” He reasoned with her. “I’m the ruler of Equestria. There’s always something I could’ve done better.” She whispered quietly. She turned and locked eyes with Spike, a more determined face even as tears streamed down it. “I need Starlight and half the guard in my throne room in the next ten minutes.” Spike sighed and nodded. “Okay, I’ll have it done.” She nodded appreciatively as the dragon quickly exited the study. Twilight held her head in her hooves for a minute and stared down at the scroll with too many emotions to process in her mind, locking onto it with a million unanswered questions. “Flurry, what have you done?” She said with a whimper. Flurry boredly pushed her controller along, groaning when she stepped on a tile that sent her back five spaces as I snickered at her misfortune. That backtrack of five paces also put her on a random tile, and after scrolling through a bunch of positive things, she eventually landed on a skull and crossbones, which immediately took one of her stars from her with an evil laugh. "Oh, come on!” She shouted angrily, dropping her controller and crossing her arms. I fell backwards and laughed eagerly at the mess of luck she had. “That’s… so unlucky!” I said between giggles. She huffed, “There’s no way I can win now! You have two more stars, and there’s only eight more rounds left!” I rolled back onto my stomach and said, "Aww, don’t be a sore loser. I won most of the minigames too!” She rolled her eyes, standing up and stretching in her spot. “Why don’t we go play that eye-spy game you taught me out on the balcony?” I shrugged. “I don’t mind.” I lowered my controller and followed her outside and onto the balcony. We hopped up onto a bench to look over the streets. I’d taught her how to play this game, and since then we've played it every once in a while. The large assortment of decorations outside made it really interesting to play. But before we could start, Flurry rested her head on her hooves, staring down at the city a bit sadly. “I’m really happy you’re still here, Kieran.” I tilted my head, “Mhm, me too.” She was quiet as I scoped out my first target once our game started. Her head slipped further down her hooves, and I found her resting her head against me. “And I’m really happy you're my brother.” I nodded absentmindedly with a small laugh. “Yeah? Thanks; I know I’m pretty cool.” She didn’t seem to react to those words, so I hummed, “Also, you better be happy. You’re lucky; I even asked them to adopt me.” I giggled. “Yeah. You wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t told you to.” She said teasingly with a huff. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. She had peer pressured me into it after all. “Yeah, you kinda did tell me to. But I still followed through; I could’ve refused.” I shrugged leisurely. “Anyway, I spy with my little eye... something blue.” “Blue?” She hummed and pointed excitedly towards her first guess, “The banner on the academy building!” “Nope,” “The clothes on display in that store!” “Nuh-uh,” I firmly shook my head. “The water pooling around that apartment?” “What? No.” I said with a laugh. It continued like that for a while, with us exchanging a few rounds between each other. But this time around, Flurry was thoroughly stumped and was past the couple of dozens in her attempts at guessing. “You’re so… hahaha… bad at this!” I teased while I rolled around laughing on the floor. Flurry growled in frustration, “There’s not a single other thing out there that’s orange! You’re pranking me!” “Am not!” I defended as I rolled to my stomach, “I’ve given you plenty of hints.” She stamped her hoof with a heavy breath of barely contained rage. “Gimme another one! I’ll guess it first try!” “Nope, other than spelling it out for you, I can’t hint any more!” I said with a leisurely shrug. She groaned and pulled at her hair. “Alright, I give up! Just tell me what it is. You win.” I firmly shook my head no, “Nah, that’s good material for next time we play.” She gave me the death stare of a lifetime and squinted angrily, “There will not be a next time if you don’t tell me!” Her horn glowed faintly atop her head. “Tell me now!” “It was the poster in that back alley right there.” I said, pointing directly at it. Flurry huffed and put on a winning smirk. “See? Was that so hard?” She said haughtily. Wait, no… There was something off about that. I hadn’t really wanted to tell her; I knew that for a fact… But her horn was… and… … … No, I wasn't going crazy; I had clearly not wanted to tell her. So then why did I..? … “Flurry..?” I asked carefully as she looked over at me with curiosity. She instantly dropped her act and seemed genuinely worried at my expression. I felt my blood running cold, and my heart rate was beginning to pick up. “What spell was that?” She stayed silent to study my face worriedly; eventually it inched open. “What spell, Kieran?” My heartbeat quickened even more, and I began backing away from her. “T-The one… that you just used…” I stuttered. I tried to control my breathing; maybe it had been a misunderstanding. “I don’t… I don’t understand…” she said while shaking her head, following into the castle after me. I swallowed the knot rising up in my throat and released a faint bit of laughter. “I… I get it… But it wasn’t a very funny joke, Flurry…” … … “What is going on with you?” She asked incredulously. My breathing pace increased, and Flurry was taken aback by my sudden, louder accusation, “I-I saw! I saw you do that!” I felt like I was going crazy, my body beginning to shake as my legs underneath me grew stiff. “You made me tell you what the answer was.” “Kieran, are you okay?” She tried to approach again, but I quickly held my hooves up and took a few steps back myself, and she stopped in her tracks. … … Flurry wouldn’t do that to me… … No… No, this had to be a misunderstanding or- … I sat and took a few long yet hasty breaths, trying to quell my heart rate. “Your… your horn! It glowed and… and you made me tell you!” I pointed to my own horn for emphasis, my eyes wide with apprehension. Flurry tilted her head in confusion. “I told you too..?” I nodded rapidly. “Yes! Against my will!” She hummed before her horn faintly lit again. “Uh… stand up?” And just as she’d commanded, my body had been overcome with the overwhelmingly forceful urge to stand up. I had made no conscious effort to do so; it was purely mechanical in nature. Flurry took a few steps back on her own in denial as she stared at me with wide eyes. “Uh… um… Please don’t panic!” She asked desperately. Though it became an order as her horn continued to glow. My mouth closed, preventing my heavy breathing, and my body stopped shaking. But it didn’t really get rid of any of the fear in my heart or stop me from feeling panic rise up in my brain. All it did was keep me prisoner, unable to speak. Flurry was beginning to panic herself at my sudden catatonic state. "No, no! I mean, don’t listen to the things I just said!” She begged. At once, my body was released, and I took a big, gasping breath of air. My body returned to shaking violently as I essentially cowered against the dresser that was standing right behind me. She did do it; I wasn’t crazy. She was commanding me with her voice. Why would she do that?... … … How much has she done to me? How many times? … … Is she trying to trick me right now? … She crouched lower to the floor, approaching with the same careful apprehension as you’d approach a terrified wild rabbit. "Kieran, this is great news!” I stared at her with wide, horrified eyes. “H-Huh?” She took another few steps forward eagerly. “We can fix everything now!” She said excitedly. “F-Flurry… no…” I muttered out. She got even closer to me. “Yes! I can help you!” She reached her hoof out, and I jerked away so violently that the dresser behind me rumbled, “Don’t touch me!” I yelled. She flinched away from me with a hurt expression. “But… little brother…” “Stop! Stop it!” I yelled, standing to my hooves finally. She stared at me with her own horrified expression, finally coming to realize how serious I was about all of this. I circled away from her, getting myself uncornered. … She’s… She’s just trying to trick me. Make it all seem like some big accident or new discovery. … She knew the whole time, didn’t she? … Flurry stared at the ground for a long while before jerking her head up with a determined nod. I don’t know how much thought she was putting behind her actions right now. But it terrified me. My whole body told me something was wrong; I felt a pit in my gut I couldn’t get rid of. “I’ll make it up to you, right now.” She said suddenly. … No, Flurry… Please don’t… … “Flurry, you need to be careful.” I tried to reason. Deep within her own thoughts, she ignored me. With her horn still lit, she looked me in the eyes and said, “I release your magic.” My eyes widened with terror, the filly in front of me looking like nothing more than a horrific monster that had me puppeteered on strings of her own creation. It started with a fiery feeling deep inside my chest; my body felt numb for a moment, and then I could feel something rising. My limbs felt stronger than they ever had, and my horn was thrumming to life with a glow the exact same as Flurry’s. I had actually made a magic aura around my horn for the first time. But the rising feeling wasn’t stopping, and pretty soon I felt it bubbling up, as if my own body was a cauldron that was about to explode. “Flurry!” I yelled desperately to get her attention. “That’s the first problem dealt with! How do you feel?” She asked ecstatically as she looked at my horn glowing. I tried desperately to say something else. My mind was overcome with new feelings and emotions, and in that stupor, I couldn’t even force a word out of my mouth. The power in my chest and body continued to grow like a wildfire out of control. … … It was too late now. Out of my wings, my hooves, my horn... I felt a release of power, and even though I’d never felt magic in my life, I could tell it was a lot. If comparing the feeling of magic from when Cadance was levitating me was anything to go by, this was disastrous. My body began to rise above the ground on its own, as well as the furniture in Flurry’s room. Flurry’s eyes widened with a look of sudden realization for exactly what she’d just done, as she too began to levitate within my magic. … I tried so hard to get it under control. I thought of every breathing technique and mentally soothing technique I could… But nothing was able to hold back the pure amount of raw magic I felt coursing through me. I released a yell as my horn erupted with a beam of energy. One long stream of magic erupted into the sky in a brilliant cyan light that shimmered and sparkled in the night sky like an aurora. The beam was so large that it practically vaporized a part of the castle above us. Flurry was dropped from the antigravity and looked up with a gasp, but it was too late to do anything to stop it now. I felt even more energy in my chest, threatening to rip me apart from the inside out. It was almost like an atomic bomb was about to be released from my body. It was painful. I didn’t know what else to do, but my body did. Through every single one of my leylines—my horn, wings, hooves, everywhere—I could feel it boiling over my whole body. … … And all at once, it was released, sending the magic shockwave to end all shockwaves. Flurry was blown black against the wall, and the furniture in her room turned to dust in an instant. In the distance, I saw buildings crack, windows shatter, and stalls and ponies alike get thrown large distances. I watched in horror as the entire city erupted into chaos, lightbulbs flickering or completely popping all together. I heard a large sound, as if something were falling, and then a loud crash sounded. And after that, the barrier was gone. The Crystal Empire’s barrier had been shattered by the shockwave. Allowing the freezing cold blizzard to immediately envelop the Empire. It became nothing but white outside, white from the snow and wind. I couldn’t stop it; I felt like even more magic would be released at any second. But with a hefty groan, Flurry struggled to gasp out, “Stop using magic!” She called out desperately. I immediately fell to the floor, the feeling of magic slipping away into my being like a sponge. The shockwaves stopped. My limbs felt numb. I groaned as I sat back up afterward, my body feeling like it was hit by a million buses. All I could hear in the distance was shouting and even screaming. I ran over to the balcony and hopped up on the bench to look over the railing to get a glimpse of the destruction I’d just wrought, but it was useless. I couldn’t see anything, leaving what I had just done up to my imagination. “N-No…” I whispered shakily. … … Why? Why, why, why, why, why? … Why did I... Why did she… … My panicked breathing returned in full force. The sounds of panicked ponies in the city below only fueled the flames. I heard rubble fall and turned my head to see Flurry inching herself out of the crater her body had made on the wall. One of her wings hung on her side, clearly broken. Suddenly, a large piece of rubble hanging from the ceiling broke off, falling right towards her. My eyes widened, and I shot my hoof out and yelled, “Flurry!” But just as quickly as I said it, she made a magic barrier around herself, and the rubble cracked in two. Flurry took a few minutes to take large gasping breaths before she looked up at me in obvious pain and said, “Kieran…” Tears welled up in her eyes. "Kieran, what just happened..?” My breath caught in my throat, and I rubbed my fetlock nervously. “Why did you make me do that?” I asked quietly, turning my head and staring wide-eyed outside at the blizzard. My vision glanced up at the hole in the castle. One of her plants from the garden fell unceremoniously down and past me on the balcony, shattering on the pavement below. I backed off the bench, off the balcony in horror. “I didn’t do this! I didn’t… You made me!” I glanced at her as she clutched her wing with a hoof in pain, staring at me in a mixture of disbelief and guilt. I shook my head wildly as I looked around her destroyed room and her broken wing. “I… I wasn’t trying to…” My eyes welled up with tears, and my breathing quickened as I held my head in my hooves. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone!” Flurry took a cautious step toward me. “Kieran... I… I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” I looked up to lock eyes with her; I couldn’t tell if there was sincerity behind her words or not. Because at that moment, I didn’t see my sister; I didn’t see Flurry. I saw someone who’d just forced me to harm an entire empire with a few simple words from her mouth. And it absolutely terrified me. And once again, the thought crossed my mind… How many times has she done this to me? How many times has she made me do something under her command and that stupid glow from her horn? … … “I mean, I think you like it here, and we all like you being here… So I just think it’s a good idea…” … "Yeah, Kieran, you should go with Daddy!” … How many times? … “Okay… I’m sorry… And you better learn perfectly and be the quickest learner ever. Or else!” … … Even when I asked them to adopt me..? “You should go ask now; I think they’re still in the living room!” … … “Little brother?” Flurry asked carefully with a whimper. I turned on her, my chest on fire with rage again as I glared with my teeth gritted. “You didn’t listen to me! I-I tried to tell you!” I yelled desperately. She recoiled downward in shame as tears continued pouring from her eyes. “I-I just wanted to help!” She looked down at her hooves as if they had the answer to her feelings at that moment: “I wanted to fix everything that was still wrong…” She mumbled. “Nothing was wrong!” I screamed, “For once, I was happy; Cadence and Shining were happy!.. I thought you were happy too!” She whimpered audibly, “I-I I was happy!” I kicked a piece of rubble near my hoof and laughed soulessly. “Yeah, ‘was happy’, huh… until I ruined everything, right?” “No! I was the one who... I made you do this!” Flurry reasoned. My face darkened as I hid it from view. “How many things have you made me do?” I shot back venomously. “I didn’t make you do anything!” She said desperately. I growled, “So you don’t remember every time that your horn glowed, and you ‘commanded’ me!? You made so many decisions for me without a single thought for how I felt!” Her eyes widened, and she stopped breathing as her mind seemed to reel. Eventually, she refocused on me with a new set of tears as she stepped forward. “I wasn’t trying to!” She defended meekly. “And I’m just supposed to believe you?” I snapped right back in disbelief. “You made me stay, you made me actually trust Cadance, and you made me ask them to be my parents!” Flurry backed away until she was cowering against the wall. She opened her mouth and closed it multiple times in uncertainty. “But we love you, Kieran…” I took a step back. “And you made me ‘love’ all of you…” I said sourly, “I never actually wanted anything to do with any of you, did I? It was all just one big trick. A command of yours.” I huffed a bit of laughter. Flurry stomped her hoof. “That is not true!” “Who else was in on it? Cadance? Shining? Luna even?” I laughed in disbelief as I shook my head. “How could I have been so dumb? I ran from you guys for so long, trying not to get brainwashed into your perfect little sibling. And that’s exactly what you did! I was right the whole time!” Flurry took a few weak steps forward. “No! All of it was real! I promise Kieran from the bottom of my heart!” She winced as her broken wing brushed over a piece of rubble on the ground. Suddenly shouting was heard from inside the castle nearby, and the door to Flurry’s room was shoved open through all the rubble. “Princess!” Silver Drift said in panic as she stepped inside and took stock of the situation. There was blood flowing down the side of Silver’s head, but she seemed solely focused on her duty. She saw Flurry and instantly ran over to her, “Princess! Your wing!” She said it in horror and disbelief. Though Flurry never stopped making eye contact with me, even as Silver tried to get her attention. There was pain, confusion, and sadness in Flurry’s eyes. … I wonder what she saw in mine? … After multiple attempts at grabbing her attention, Silver finally drifted her view over to me. Her brow was furrowing, especially after a quick glance that confirmed that I was relatively unharmed. “What happened here?” I didn’t like the way Silver looked at me. She almost seemed to be trying to shield Flurry away from me, as if I were some sort of threat or monster that was attacking the Empire. Though outwardly she seemed unsure, but a pony’s actions always betrayed their thoughts. I could get the message loud and clear. … I had forgotten how it felt. … …I hate this feeling. … I chuckled… I tried not to show emotion, but it turned sour. A sort of laughing whimper escaped me as I hid my face; it didn’t matter if they saw me crying, but it did to me. Silver opened her mouth, but I cut her off with my own words first. “You got me, Silver! I’m the Crystal Empire’s boogeyman!” I said with another scoff of disbelief. “Kieran..?” Flurry poked her head around worriedly. Silver’s gaze softened a bit. “Kieran, are you alright?” "Well, you know what!?” I started loudly, “I hate you all too!” I announced. They both recoiled at the word ‘hate’ as if it could actually hurt them. I took a long, shuddering breath as I continued to hide my face from them. I trotted towards the door of her room and said, “Don’t you worry! Flurry’s little puppet won’t be making any more problems.” Flurry struggled free from Silver’s confused grasp and took hasty steps towards me. “No, Kieran! Please don’t leave!” “Kieran, don’t be rash!” Silver said worriedly as she stood up. I glanced somberly at the filly in front of me. “Are you going to command me to stay, Princess Flurry?” “No! Because you’re going to stay and… and…be my brother!.. And…” She muttered desperately as she tried to reach me with her limp. I smiled sadly. “Then goodbye, Princess.” I said before turning my back, and I paused just outside the door. “And thanks for nothing.” Those were my final words before I kicked the door shut behind me with as much force as possible. … …I forgot how it felt. …All the lying and manipulation of people trying to gain something from you. … Well, no more… …Hopefully, they see me as a monster. > 18 - Tenebrescence > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The city streets of the Crystal Empire were in full swing. With a healthy layer of snow coating the streets, lights strung about on every lamppost, and joyful celebrations all around. Carolers roamed the streets as ponies raced around with gifts hanging from saddlebags on a wild last shopping trip before the holiday. Each and every shop was packed to the brim with colorful arrays of items, desperately trying to catch the attention of the next passerby. Children raced through the streets, either dragging their parents along towards the next shiny thing or running from their friends in the middle of a snowball fight. Cadance and Shining were happy to take in the sight of their people on such a joyous occasion. As her head lightly rested against Shining on their small shopping trip, she couldn’t help the excitement bubbling up in her for Hearth’s Warming. “Shiny, do you even have the slightest clue what you’re looking for?” She teased with a raised brow. Shining glanced to his right and gave a sheepish smile before he looked up in thought, “I’ve got a few. But I doubt you’d believe me, dear.” She giggled, “Because you’re never prepared!” He recoiled his head away with a pout and said, “Not true! I knew exactly what I wanted to get Kieran.” He held his head higher with a proud smirk. Cadance leaned in further with a devilish grin. “It isn’t hard when he doesn’t have anything to his name to begin with, honey.” She said while resting her hoof on him playfully. She looked back ahead and glanced from side to side before they crossed the street. “Don’t think you can trick me with our foal’s interests.” Shining sighed with a short chuckle, accepting the lost argument with a smile. They walked through the main shopping district, heads turning at every new shop they passed by. Eventually he found his mind back on Kieran again: “Mother has been telling me how excited she is to see them both.” Shining told her. Cadance stopped waving at a group of passing ponies and hummed happily, “I’m sure! I can’t believe you waited all the way until we adopted him to tell her! You’re a monster.” Shining laughed. “I didn’t want to get her hopes up if things didn’t… work out.” Cadance scoffed and leaned against him more. “I’m a master of my craft; you doubt me far too much.” Shining playfully rolled his eyes before meeting hers. “I don’t doubt you a single bit, honey. Your tricks simply aren’t as effective anymore.” He said with a teasing smile. She giggled and leaned up, giving him a short kiss before retracting. “Let’s get your gifts already. We should be spending time with our foals.” Shining nodded in agreement. “Cadance? Shining?” The two turned in surprise at the voice and smiled happily when they met with Sunburst and his mother, Stellar Flare. Cadance smiled widely and stepped forward, giving them both a hug. “Oh! How are you two?” They smiled as Stellar put a hoof on her chest. “Well, we figured we might as well join the festivities. Your city is absolutely beautiful this time of year, dear.” “Thank you,” Cadance replied with a giggle. “My ponies simply adore the holidays.” Sunburst hummed in agreement. “I figured I should take a break.” He stopped to think for a moment about what to say. “Cadance… about the research-” Shining held a hoof up, “Taking a break doesn’t mean bringing it up during an outing. It’s alright.” He reassured the unicorn by putting a hoof on his shoulder. Sunburst looked unsure, but Cadance quickly nodded and said, “It’s okay, Sunburst. Everything’s been going alright; relax and take a break, please.” Stellar sighed as she put a hoof to her forehead. “I’ve been telling him this all week! The amount of sleep he has lost over it is not healthy! That’s what I told him.” “Where is Sunspot today?” Shining wondered. Stellar sighed. “He came down with something earlier this week. It seems to be mostly gone already, but he’s resting.” Cadance frowned sympathetically, “Oh, I hope he’s well enough to come over tomorrow.” Sunburst waved his hoof. “He’s already gotten back to his old self; he already reassured us he wasn’t missing tomorrow’s gathering.” They nodded and sat in silence as Cadance looked up to her left and gasped excitedly. “Oh! Would you two like to get coffee with us? My favorite place is just across the street.” With a unanimous agreement, the party of four made their way into the quaint little coffee shop. Immediately, an older green mare greeted them happily as they found a booth near the window. The older green mare quickly took their orders and left, as Sunburst looked at them worriedly. “Regardless, I’d still like to ask how he’s doing.” Cadance and Shining smiled at each other before answering. Cadance cleared her throat. “Well, if being able to call him our colt is any indication…” Shining nodded and finished for her, “I’d say it’s going well.” Stellar happily hummed, "Oh, darling, you adopted him? That’s wonderful news!” Sunburst got over his surprise as he smiled and sighed in relief. “Great, he needs good people to look after him.” He looked between the two and said, “I can’t think of anybody better for the task.” They both blushed and moved on with their conversation. The coffee they all drank was downed quite quickly, reducing the chill from their shopping to a comforting warmth that matched the feeling radiating through the rather busy cafe. Their conversations carried on jovially for a long while before they rose to their hooves with intent to finish their shopping. Sunburst was the first to stand, helping his mother to her hooves. “Well, this has been pleasant as always. But we have to finish shopping before everything’s sold out!” Cadance nodded agreeingly, “Agreed. I’d like to get home and spend time as a family.” Sunburst hummed, “Tell them both I said hello.” Shining chuckled. “Flurry will enjoy that.” They laughed together for a minute before a rumbling was felt at their hooves. There was a certain energy radiating in the air, and Sunburst’s horn flashed with recognition, causing the unicorn’s face to become distraught. The tables slowly began to shake as the entire building itself seemed to sway. Sunburst furrowed his brow before running out of the building in haste. His mother followed right after him: “Sunburst!?” Cadance and Shining looked at each other with confusion for a moment before swiftly following the duo out of the cafe. The crowd of ponies in the street had all stopped, looking towards the castle in shock. Cadance felt a pit fall in her stomach as she rushed out the door, unprepared for what she was about to see. She whipped her head up and towards the castle. Her heart sank. One side of the entire upper part of the castle had been completely obliterated. A massive energy blast was reaching far up and colliding with the barrier, causing cyan magical particles to rain down on the entire empire before quickly evaporating. “I-Is that…” Cadance began with horror. The beam ended, sending its last wisps of energy up into the atmosphere before completely disappearing. Cadance could already see rubble falling from the broken side of the castle, and she only had one panicked thought on her mind. “M-My foals...” she muttered. Sunburst felt a chill roll up his spine, and his eyes widened in horror. Sunburst shook his head quickly and turned on the growing crowd of ponies with purpose: “Everypony! Mana surge, get down!” He wasn’t looking, and he had no clue just how bad it was or how terrifyingly correct he was. As the shockwave traveled in their direction, Stellar shouted desperately, knowing she couldn’t do much else to protect him, “Sunburst!” He didn’t even have time to see it coming; his mother jumped forward to tackle him, hoping to bring Sunburst closer to the ground with force. However, it was far too quick, and instead she found herself taking the brunt of the shockwave for him. Shining himself only had less than a second to react, barely forming a barrier that could shield the front of both himself and Cadance from the overwhelming force of magic. Then, all at once, destruction came. It was so fast that nobody had time to react. Shining’s half-formed shield hadn’t been enough, and it shattered when the shockwave hit them. Sending both Cadance and Shining flying back a good distance along with the wave of ponies. The cafe’s glass shattered along with every other store in the district. Screams and panic were heard, mostly out of shock and the sudden destruction of everything. Cadance was the fastest to recover from the blast, as she stood to her hooves and looked around in horror. And as if that wasn’t enough, a loud crashing sound was heard, and the barrier rippled above them once, trying to reconnect itself. Not long after, it evaporated, sending the entire empire back into an eternal winter. Shining was groaning as he barely managed to return to consciousness. Cadance quickly glanced over Shining for injuries, but other than the shock, he was relatively fine. Cadance glanced to her left, where Sunburst blinked his eyes open. His mother laid on top of him, but blood was quickly dripping from her head. With so many problems presented right in front of her and the view of the castle blocked off from the snow, her foals were in completely unknown amounts of danger. She felt so conflicted and panicked. What would she do? Her ponies needed her; the barrier was gone. Her friend was hurt. Who else did she need to save? And which one did she need to help with first? And most concerningly, with that shockwave, she felt her magic tracking link to Kieran snap like a twig under the pressure of a hurricane. And this terrified her more than anything else. “Mother!” Sunburst’s yelling seemed to snap Cadance out of her stupor. And Shining was even quicker to react than her, quickly moving over to lift the injured Stellar off of Sunburst’s body. He laid her across his back. Sunburst got up in panic as he held his mother’s head up. She was breathing, but the wound on her head was awful. “Mother.” He cried desperately, “It’ll be alright!” Watching the scene unfold made Cadance take hold of her own breathing. Steeling her nerves and suppressing her panic as best as possible. “The… the link… the castle…” She muttered in horror. Shining trotted over to her and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Cadance, dear.” She glanced up, and they locked eyes as Shining smiled reassuringly, “It’ll be okay. Do what you need to do, honey.” Her eyes widened, and she sighed gratefully with a nod. “Get Stellar medical attention.” She told him swiftly. Shining nodded firmly and sighed. Cadance stepped forward and nuzzled him quickly. “I’ll make sure they’re safe. Don’t worry.” Shining nodded. “I trust you, honey.” He remarked as he trotted off quickly into the fog of the snow, with Sunburst hurriedly limping behind him due to a pained hoof. Already, uninjured guards and regular ponies were taking to the streets, helping to pick up and help their fellow ponies out. “Princess!” A guard hurriedly made his way over to her and kneeled. “Princess, what are your orders?” By his badge, she could tell he was a higher rank than usual. Cadance sighed as her mind blanked again in the overwhelming feeling. “What happened to the barrier?” “Unsure, princess.” He said swiftly. Cadance gritted her teeth. “Just... keep helping anypony who may be injured to the hospital. Make sure everypony gets off the streets until the barrier is fixed.” The guard nodded and saluted at the same time before rushing off into the snow. Cadance looked towards where the castle was, allowing herself to deal with the most important part of all of this. ‘Please be okay, please be okay…’ Cadance begged in her mind as she closed her eyes, feeling her horn thrum to life. She wasn’t very great at teleportation spells herself, but it didn’t matter much to her as she allowed her body to slowly be covered in the teleportation spell. It had to have been Kieran. Cadance had decided that the moment she saw the beam of uncontrolled magic. It reminded her much of Flurry as a baby, back before her crystalling when she couldn’t control anything. ‘He must be terrified.’ She lamented as a few tears made their way to the edges of her eyes. ‘It’s okay, you two; momma is coming.’ Her body shimmered and evaporated into thin air, leaving behind the twinkling remains of her spell. I felt awful. My heart was beating far faster than it should be, and I was sweating profusely as I rushed myself down the hallway of the castle while dodging the rubble and cracks I’d made. The only thing that could’ve made this entire thing worse is if it had been my fault. But the guilt was still there. Especially as I passed many guards who were either completely out-cold against the wall or just barely staggering to their hooves. But still… … I did this… I felt my rage subside for a moment as a gripping feeling of despair and horror overtook me once again. I hurt so many people, I ruined the holidays, and I broke the barrier. I took one deep breath, then two. … No, I didn’t do it. Flurry Heart made me; I have to remember that. I have to get away from her; she can’t be trusted. Why couldn’t she just leave things be? I felt my hooves stop moving under myself. The only sound audible was the violent howling of the wind through a crack in the wall next to me. If she had just left things to be fine, would I really be happy? Blissful ignorance that everything had been a lie, it felt good the past few days, especially. But if I’d let her control me for longer? Five... ten years? It would’ve felt even more devastating when I eventually realized the truth. I saw my reflection in a shattered piece of glass lying on the floor. I studied Flurry’s face for a minute, probably too long if I’d really wanted to leave. I dared a glance behind me, but nobody was pursuing me; the castle was silent. Eerily so. Even more so for the middle of the day. You'd usually hear a maid or two cleaning and a couple of guards conversing when they thought nobody was around. But now all of it was silent. The joy that usually radiated through the castle was nothing but uncertainty and, very likely, fear. Fear towards me, I would assume... They had to know it was me by now, right? I looked back at the glass on the floor and felt tears on my face. I mustered up a glare but dropped it only a second later. “How many people did you make me hurt?” I whispered under my breath. I didn’t even want to think of a worse scenario than that. Had I only hurt people? Has it been even worse than I could imagine? Did I accidentally... No… Don’t let your mind wander there. You didn’t do it on purpose. I forced myself to step over the broken glass as my hooves crunched on the remnants of glass shards and fallen rubble. I need to leave. Somewhere, anywhere. I hurried my steps through the hallways, climbing over fallen furniture and dodging the notice of recovering guards and maids. As I witnessed the destruction in the castle alone, my heart rate rose, and my breaths became quick and unsteady. … Would Cadance blame me? Would she hate me after this? … Did I care whether she did or not? She’s not my mother… Our relationship was found on a pile of deceit. Her attempts to reconcile with me in the streets and at the castle were all just a steady attempt to lure me in. But then why does my chest hurt so much right now? Why was the only thing I wanted to do right now was to run to her and jump into her arms and forget about everything while she told me it was okay? Would things be okay? … … Only if I left… … Why did it feel like I was leaving behind something I’d never get again? That feeling only made my breathing quicken again, until it got uncomfortably noticeable. … I finally got to the front entrance of the castle, but as I’d expected, there were still guards. I counted at least twelve. A few of them were nursing wounds as maids, and Moon Petal, the nurse pony, was checking on each individual who made their way in. I couldn’t hear their conversations from here. But I could see fear in their eyes; they were all on edge. Ponies were skittish creatures, and it was apparent by the way that four of the guards held their weapons steadily in hoof by the doorway. I probably reminded them of when Sombra attacked… It didn’t feel good to be just as bad as one of Equestria’s worst villains. That was the only way to describe him. I sighed to myself. There’s no way I was making it through there. Could I make a distraction? Should I just bolt through before they notice? Would they just let me walk out? Or would they throw me in the dungeons? I scrambled my head with both hooves and groaned quietly; there were too many variables. And things would only get harder as more guards recovered and reconvened in the entrance room. I looked around me for a solution quickly—anything that could expedite my escape. I immediately saw it—my saving grace. And my eyes widened with a hum. "Hello, old friend…” I whispered while staring at the window. The same one I’d jumped out of what felt like forever ago. I originally jumped through while working on pure adrenaline, but it was only now that I realized just how far off the ground the jump was. I sighed and pulled a nearby stool over to the window. After climbing up, I poked my hoof out the window. The glass was shattered anyway. I immediately wrenched it back in shock at how cold it was. The freezing cold I felt walking the halls was nothing compared to the chill outside. I needed something to keep warm… I glanced down to my left, where a tablecloth had conveniently fallen onto the floor. I shrugged and hopped down, pulling the purple and gold cloth over my back. I quickly tied it around my neck like a cloak, with a hood covering my head. Unfortunately, a rather large gust of wind pushed me to the ground suddenly, causing me to bang my elbow and causing me to yelp as quietly as I could possibly hold in. “Who’s there?” One of the guards shouted, causing a chill to run up my spine. I quickly collected myself off the floor and scrambled to the stool. “Why so aggressive?” Moon Petal admonished him with a scolding tone. “Whoever it is, you can come out! We’ll help you!” She called out much more sweetly than the guard had. I scrambled up onto the window seal and suddenly felt fear enter me. Was I really okay with jumping out of a window and praying the bush was still down there? Well, I guess there was a lot more snow, so it’d be even softer. I was only about two stories off the ground… I heard hoofsteps and turned my head, my eyes widening as Moon Petal rounded the corner. I quickly hid my face and inched backwards on the stool, working the courage up to make the jump. “W-Who?” Moon Petal stuttered in confusion. She looked between the window and me, and some realization came to her: “Wait! Don’t-” But her words drowned out as I held my breath and jumped. Immediately, the raging snowstorm berated my body, and I felt as if I’d just plunged myself into the depths of the antarctic. But I only had a moment to think of the cold as I tried to remember how I landed last time. “Hooves out, hooves out; roll once you hit the ground.” I reminded myself. But I didn’t have to. The moment my body made contact with the snow, I wedged into it like a soft pillow. I sighed in relief. I dared not look back up at the window; Moon Petal would likely be scanning the ground for me, and I didn’t want her to know yet. Not that she was dumb; she’d know it was me if she hadn’t already. I grunted and pulled my limbs out until I was out of the filly-sized hole and ready to move. Perks of being a filly: I’m light enough to stand on top of the snow without sinking into it. I’m small, so the cloak covers my whole body. … … Yeah, that’s about it. Compared to the downsides, like being small so my steps don’t take me far, being rather weak, and a plethora of others, it wasn’t such a good deal. I was being blown around like a newspaper in a tornado, and it took more willpower than I imagined just to stay on my hooves. The cloak didn’t help very much against the chilling bite of the cold. The wind chill was lessened by the cloak, but I still found it piercing the cloth enough to be uncomfortable. The tablecloth wasn’t particularly thick overall. … … Where am I going? … … My mind blanked, and I stood still in the snow, contemplating my very existence for the umpteenth time in only the past ten minutes. Preferably, somewhere I won’t die of cold. And alone. I kept walking only a bit further, and the city itself came into my view. A conveniently placed map stood on the street corner, which I struggled towards. It didn’t take much scanning for me to come up with a plan. Especially once I saw where the train station was and realized it was just down the street from me. How did I know when I could barely read? It had a train symbol, simple as that. Y’know, I never cared much for the snow. It’s cold, sticky, and it gets everywhere. … I’ve had enough of this place. Forcing my hooves to move underneath me and feeling very nostalgic for my last snowstorm experience, I trudged onward into the unknown. Quite literally, as I could only see two or three hooves in front of me. My teeth chattered, and my hooves shook underneath me as I cursed my re-existence. “Leaving so soon?” The voice made me jump, and I immediately whipped my head around myself, searching for the source. But I didn’t see anybody at all. “At your feet.” My brow furrowed as I looked down. I was met with a pile of oversized snowflakes made of ice that I hadn’t noticed before. I tilted my head in confusion and leaned my head farther down to look at them better. “Not so close!” I retracted my head with a small yelp of surprise. The snowflakes quickly melted and turned to snow, and a small whirlwind kicked up around them as the snow formed itself into a snowman head. But the snowman's head was the shape of some weird-horned creature with a beard. Imagine my surprise when that snowhead gained a real set of eyes as the mouth began to move. “So you're the new alicorn nobody will shut up about.” After a large gap in my brain functionality, I finally calmed down my breathing and stared at the head with intrigue and weariness. “And you’re… you’re…” The fear entering my voice betrayed my attempts to stay neutral and not upset the spirit in front of me. Discord rolled his eyes. “Come on, you’ll get there. It’s… D… I…. S…” “Discord…” I said with a huff, interrupting his spelling, “You’re Discord, I’m guessing.” I said it with a small, nervous laugh. “You sound disappointed.” The head grumbled with squinted eyes. I waved my hooves, “No, no… I’m just confused. And you’re sort of distracting me. Plus, I’ve been warned to steer clear of you if possible, so…” I circled around the head, giving it a wide berth. "Wait, wait, wait!” He called. I glanced back as the wind swirled around the head again, forming a full snowman version of what I assumed Discord was. I’d heard he was a draconequus, and I read about him, but man, he looked weird. Even if he was only made out of snow right now. “I heard that thought!” He said with a huff as his snowy arms crossed each other. Realizing that he wasn’t nearly as threatening as I expected, I felt myself grow irritated. “What do you want?” I grumbled. “I’m sorta freezing here. And I’m not in the mood.” Discord broke out of his snow prison, and I got my first look at him in all his glory. Or chaos would be a better descriptor… Discord grinned, theatrically snapping his fingers. I immediately felt myself grow much warmer, and flowers even began to grow at my hooves as if he’d made the one spot I was standing turn to summer weather. I felt relief at the warmth, but knowing the stories I’ve heard, Discord would never give anything for free. “What do I want?” Discord said this in surprise as he placed a claw to his chest. “Hmm… I never thought! Well, it’s certainly an interesting question, considering I can have anything I want…” He suddenly snapped his fingers with an excited look, “Oh, I’ve always wanted to go skydiving as a parachute. But nobody ever trusts me enough! Care to try?” He said while turning into a parachute. I stared wide-eyed as I came to grips with everything I was seeing. I eventually shook myself out of the stupor. “What? No.” I said with a sigh, “What do you want from me? Why are you here?” He sighed, turning back into himself with a snap. “Fine, spoil sport.” He muttered, “I’m sure you know what I am?” “A spirit of chaos?” I replied as he circled me as if he were swimming through the air. Which was breaking my brain, but I was unable to think too much about it. “Yes, my friend!” He said excitedly, stopping by my side and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “And what you’ve made here is perfect! The absolute pinnacle of chaos! A true work of chaotic art!” He pulled back and straightened a bow-tie that materialized. “And that says a lot, coming from somebody of my caliber.” He held up a scoring sign with the number ten. I pulled his paw off me. “I thought you were supposed to be good now or something.” I huffed, “Was that just a lie too?” He scoffed, “I wish it was sometimes, certainly… It’s awful! I’m not allowed to cause any chaos on a scale such as what you’ve done here, lest I be returned to a simple garden statue again. It gets boring!” My face darkened. “So what? You came to… congratulate me? On ruining everything?” I huffed and gritted my teeth. “How generous…” He threw his arms behind his head again. “I felt all the chaos brimming, so naturally I arrived as fast as possible! But when I saw that you were out here, I figured you could use a little bit of help!” He laughed crazily. “I mean, trying to run away when the entire population of alicorns is on your case is more than a little bit crazy! It brings a tear to my eye to see the youth so brave.” He wiped his eyes. “I… I mean… I hid for almost a whole month. It can’t be that hard!” I reasoned with growing nerves. He laughed again. "Oh, it certainly can. I think you mistook Cadance’s naive hope that you’d look for help sooner as incompetence.” I suppressed my annoyance. “Okay, well… What does that have to do with you?” “I have everything to do with that problem! A little bit of help from me, and all your problems will be taken care of!” One of his arms detached from his body and floated over to me, extending into a handshake. “Care to make a deal with me?” Yeah, nope, I’ve seen this cliche one too many times. Not happening. I stared at his outstretched paw for a moment with disdain before scoffing and walking past him. Curiously, the small patch of summer seemed to follow me wherever I went, leaving snow back on my previous path as if I’d never been there. “Again?” Discord lamented as he rushed ahead of me, “Just hear me out!” I continued walking right through him. “No thanks…” I muttered, “I have enough on my plate; making a deal with the devil isn’t one of them.” “How dare you…” Discord muttered in a mock, hurt voice. “Whoever this ‘devil’ is would be very upset!” He chuckled shortly. As I was walking away, I found myself walking on a blanket of some kind and looked down to see a classic picnic blanket checkered in red and white. I shrugged it off and walked a few more hoofsteps, but I felt and heard a loud squish on my hoof. I gazed down to see that my hoof had gone right through the center of a pie. I pulled my hoof out of the pie in confusion, and suddenly a pony phased into existence right next to me. She was around my size, maybe a bit smaller, colored green with black hair, and had a mystery cutie mark. “Hey! What gives!” She growled with a scowl. I took a step back in pure shock. “I… I’m… sorry?” The small green filly steamed with anger. “You better be sorry! That was my picnic pie, you little sh-” Discord snapped his fingers again, and the bubble of summer surrounding me phased out and back in. I was simply surrounded by grass again, with no picnic at my hooves. I looked up at him in pure confusion and asked, “What was that!?” Discord shrugged as I interrupted the filing of his claws. “What? Am I not allowed to put you between multiverses to keep you warm?” He sighed and grumbled to himself about me being ungrateful or something as he rolled his eyes. “No matter. I just replaced the one you were in for one where school is in session for the day.” I stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. Discord put a paw to his inquisitive face and said, “I’ll have to visit that dimension again, though; that filly strikes me as interesting.” I tried to ignore the fact that it meant I was standing in an entirely different dimension right now. I think I fully understood what people meant when they talked about Discord. I felt like I should’ve been more scared or worried. But after dying, resurrecting as a puppet, and blowing up an empire, you begin to grow numb to the phenomena of… life. I finally sighed, giving him a serious look. “Fine, I’ll hear you out. But only on one condition.” I realized I had his attention, so I carried on, “I can say no to your proposition if I want, and you’ll leave me alone regardless of my answer.” He raised his brow. “That’s all?” He quickly replaced his scrutiny with a large, welcoming open arms. “Of course! You can say no if you’d like. Simply hear me out first.” I sat down and held my hoof out in a ‘go on’ gesture. Discord nodded. “I’ll keep it short and sweet. I like chaos, and you’ve proved to be a great source for it.” I rolled my eyes but nodded nonetheless. “So, I offer to help you in your disguise.” I raised my brow and tilted my head curiously. “Why…?” “Because!” He suddenly morphed into a foal my size, his voice taking on the excited giddiness of a colt on Hearth’s Warming Day. “The longer you stay hidden, the more chaos will unfold! It’s a simple joy of mine to see ponies unable to accomplish a goal for so long that it drives them mad.” As he talked, he morphed into a slew of different foals of all kinds of colors. I huffed and shrugged my shoulders. “So you’re just like everyone else and just want to use me.” I said with disdain. He opened his mouth to reply, but I quickly cut him off. “Won’t you be making the alicorns angry if they find out you’re doing this?” He grumbled and crossed his arms, or… hooves, I guess. “The fault of ponies is assuming they can control the chaotic urges of the living embodiment of said chaos.” He bemoaned while taking a sip from a steaming coffee mug that appeared from nowhere: “After a decade of being a good little spirit, I believe it’s okay were I to relapse a little!” He leaned in and smirked at me. “Also, I’m not even the one causing it! I’m merely keeping the one causing it from getting caught!” He said this as he pinched my cheek. I swatted his paw away. “Fine, fine. Just make me into a colt or something and leave me alone.” “Little problem with that,” he muttered, turning back into himself, but incredibly small. “Tiny, really.” He became even smaller. I looked around nervously and groaned, “Spit it out already! They’re going to find me at this rate.” “I can’t change that part of you!” Your only option is a color change. He said with a long release of breath, “Only color, no body-related changes or otherwise. There, happy?” “Not really!” I shouted back. “You have me standing in another dimension right now, and you can’t even do something simple like that!?” Discord pouted, his lip quivering. “I’m not allowed to change those things! They’re directly tied to somebody’s soul, and I’m not allowed to shape them! That’s harmony’s domain; if I do, she’ll be on my case!” He sighed in his own disdain. “Like I said, it’s only an illusion. Any unicorn could cast a spell like this and certainly remove the spell as well.” So Harmony is in charge of ponies’ souls? Are they the one that I need to be angry at? “What’s the downside?” I asked steadily. “For a normal pony? The illusion ends when the one who created it goes to sleep.” He hummed and pointed at himself with a giant foam finger. “But if you let me, it’ll never disappear out of the blue! Because I never sleep!” He leaned in and pretended to whisper a secret: “Just don’t act suspicious and get revealed by some prying eyes.” It kind of sounds like the spell changelings use to disguise themselves, but... really, what choice did I have? Walking around as a Flurry clone with a different hairstyle was like a walking red flag, so I really had no choice. My head shot up as I heard guards in the distance shouting orders. I looked up and locked eyes with Discord. “Sure, whatever, do your thing. Just pick some colors; I need to get out of here.” With pleasure, Discord smiled and snapped his fingers. I felt a magical feeling wash over me in a wave, and I felt a weird tingling sensation that was uncomfortable. Like your entire body had just been coated in oil. It disappeared soon after and began to feel natural, but my spine still chilled, and I had to shake off the feeling. With another snap of his fingers, Discord materialized a mirror in front of me. “Well? What do you think?” I looked up and only raised a brow and sighed. “Really?” I shot him an unamused look. “What? What!?” He remarked defensively, “You didn’t give any colors. And gray is my favorite!” I sighed as I took another look at the mirror. I was now a regular earth pony filly, with gray fur and a slightly—and I mean slightly—lighter gray mane, virtually indistinguishable colors from each other. Even my eyes were a dark gray color. I looked like someone had taken an eraser to my body and rubbed the Equestria out of it. “How… dull… and an earth pony?” I questioned. It was his turn to raise his brow at me. “You can’t use your horn or wings after all, correct? An earth pony is the perfect fit.” I gave in with another sigh and a shrug. “And inconspicuous, I guess, you know what? Good choices.” “See?” Discord hummed, “I knew you, and I would see eye to eye! Like two seaponies in a pod!” Immediately, the bubble of warmth around me disappeared and was replaced by the cold snow. Immediately, I was buffeted by the cold wind, and reality hit me like a ton of bricks… and snow. “Toodaloo! And good luck out there!” Discord said before beginning to evaporate as if nothing was there in the first place. "What, so that’s it? You just disguise me for your own satisfaction and leave?” I shouted over the howling wind. Discord smirked at me, his head the only thing left. “Yes, that’s it.” His rather crazy look became a bit serious as he furrowed his brow. “Unless, of course, you want to go back?” I looked down at my hooves and was about to retort, but his head finally disappeared before I could. I could still hear the lingering remnants of his voice around me when he was gone, like a haunting mockery of everything he had said. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” And I was again left alone, in the cold and snow. Except now I looked like a nobody, a perfectly average and unassuming filly. Of course, I was still a filly… Which wasn’t very satisfying. … I didn’t know how to feel right now. Sad, angry, or confused? Terrified? … Tired. I was tired… of everything. … With the weight of being discovered quelled at least a little bit, I forced myself through the snowstorm once again. Desperately hoping my body held onto the warmth of the bubble he’d put on me, at least for a few moments longer. As I was walking, I was surprised to see some of the lights in some buildings turned on and a few street lamps lit. I must have not blown out the entire energy infrastructure. I tried to keep myself hidden and inconspicuous, even as I passed by buildings where ponies were ushering in strangers in the storm to enter. I felt a pull to join at the promise of warmth, but thought better of it. I continued to trudge forward, not really knowing if I could make it all the way to my destination. I doubted whether I was going in the right direction many times, but it wasn’t going to help to second-guess myself. I passed by many ponies and many families as well. They paid me no mind; they were more concerned over their family’s wellbeing, and rightfully so. A few more un-structurally sound buildings had been reduced to rubble, mainly abandoned, decrepit buildings, but I couldn’t shake the consequences from my mind. Who’s to say someone they knew hadn’t been buried? The one that hurt the most was the family I passed by. The mother was out-cold with a rather minor injury to her chest, especially with the doctor attending to her. But the cries of her foals were heartbreaking and haunting, to say the least. “Mom, mom, wake up, please!” It reminded me of exactly why I was leaving. I drowned out the surroundings and every sound I could by focusing solely on the sound of the howling wind. That helped things, at least for now. My lungs hurt, my hooves hurt, and my body was numbing from the growing cold of the storm. I felt that I would never get to the station, not in time anyway. A few times, the urge to lay down and give up appeared in my mind, swiftly followed by a shake of my head as my teeth chattered. I had to have been close, right? My saving grace came in the form of a loud whistle that was unmistakable from a train. It was ahead of me, still out of sight, but the confirmation allowed my energy to return just enough. My pace quickened as I forced my limbs to move, unable to really feel the snow below me much more. When I finally got to the train station, there was a crowd of ponies waiting in front of the large passenger train that sat idly. And at the front was what I could only assume was a conductor pony, if the hat was anything to go by. He was trying to quell the unrest of the freezing crowd. “Please, please, calm down! There was a bit of rubble and a few misaligned tracks, and the door wiring is down; it’s already almost fixed. We have our best workers on it right now!” It quelled the crowd a bit as the conductor returned inside the train. I made it onto the platform and looked around. A bunch of holiday-packed ponies were impatiently freezing in the cold, hoping they could board the train and get to their destinations in time for Hearth’s Warming. Parents trying to quell their children’s complaints and crying with huddled-up warmth and hugging. As the adults conversed amongst each other with gossip and worry, I tensed a bit as a duo of guards passed by me, but they didn’t so much as glance my way. Their words didn’t hurt as much as they felt they were deserved. And I could only sink further into my makeshift cloak the more I heard. Each conversation around me was bouncing around in my head in an exhausting and dizzying way. “Do you think it was that foal the newspapers were talking about?” “Well, I think they should’ve seen it coming. It’s all a little odd, don’t you think?” “Maybe she planned it.” “Are we positive that Sombra's influence is gone?” “Is it even safe to live here anymore?” “My favorite cabbage stall was destroyed…” “I knew he was trouble when he treated the guards so poorly.” I took a long sigh and put my two hooves up, pulling down on my cloak more, trying to keep their voices from being heard while also hiding my face and trying to stay warm. And yet their muffled gossip still made roots in my mind. “-she was injured from the head. It was awful.” “I had to save a foal buried under her house; her mother was so distraught.” My lips quivered, and I tried to keep myself from crying. I didn’t deserve to, not after everything that happened. I felt a sinkhole open up in my chest, taking my mind and body with it. “I think she should’ve just stayed lost. The princess should’ve let her freeze to death.” “I heard she fought them the whole way; why didn’t they just throw her in the dungeons?” “Bet they will now!” I was saved from a potentially full mental breakdown by the loud whistle of the train as it came to life. Causing me to flinch and pull back in shock before sighing in relief. I felt it wash over me as the welcoming doors of the train opened up with a hiss, the lights coming on, and a warm draft of air wafting out of the cabins. I watched as a few workers stationed themselves by the door and suddenly panicked. I don’t have a ticket. The first ponies made their way up; a few offered tickets, but the workers merely waved them ahead. Suddenly the conductor poked his head out and said, “Not worried about tickets, folks; too cold. Just get in if you’re trying to get out!” He called with a jovial tone. The ponies quickly piled on after, and I fell in line behind a family to blend in. My heart rate continued to increase more and more. I watched the worker with the corner of my eye intently. Unfortunately for me, my lack of attention caused me to trip as my front hoof fell in between the gap between the steps and the pavement. I gasped and caught myself from hitting my head with my other hoof. “Are you alright?” The worker quickly bent over worriedly and helped me pry my hoof free. I pulled it out and nursed it with my other hoof as I seethed a bit with pain. “Y-Yes, I’m okay.” The stallion worker nodded and quickly patted my head. “Well then, go get warm with your family, okay?” My feelings soured, but I held a smile on my face and nodded, quickly boarding the train without trouble afterward. I felt I’d hurt myself more than I realized because I was subconsciously limping a little bit. But I ignored it and pressed on, trying to find an open and empty room in one of the cabins. I had to go about three cabins down before I found a free one. And I quickly rushed inside, standing on the comfortable cushioned bench and reaching the door, pushing it shut with all my strength. It was all fine now; the little window on the door was the only slight interaction with ponies that I’d have to have now. I settled myself against the seat, letting the warmth and success of getting where I wanted wash over me. I was exhausted now, and the magic I’d released was only the cherry on top. In fact, I was quite impressed by the fact that, after all that release of magic, I hadn’t passed out. Though it had been a struggle for a few minutes. I opened my eyes and glanced out the window. I couldn’t see anything out there, but just knowing that there were hurt ponies galore and ponies freezing made me all feel sick to my stomach. It’d take them forever to recover from this. And some ponies might never recover… I lowered my head, allowing myself to fully lay down on the bench and curl my body up. Finally, I cried. I didn’t stop myself this time, finally allowing all my emotions to come out. I wouldn’t exactly call it a flood of tears, but it soaked my face. “What did you think would happen? Are you dumb?” I questioned myself as I lightly hit a hoof against my head. “You knew it was too good to be true. And then you… you…” Hurting innocent people because of me was the part I couldn’t say out loud. I shivered and breathed in shakily, “You’re not good enough unless you’re perfect.” I said with disdain. I wiped my face with one hoof and sniffled heavily as my other hoof rested on the cushion, throbbing with pain still from the trip on the stairs I’d had. I looked down; there was a rather large cut on the inner side of my leg, going all the way down to the bottom of my fetlock. I didn’t care about that right now… I just needed to disappear… The intercom above me came on with the conductor’s voice. “Alright everypony, a couple more stragglers are boarding; once they do, we’ll be off. And only thirty minutes behind schedule!” Silver lining, I guess? Everybody's travel plans aren’t completely ruined. I started laughing a bit, even as I was still crying. I was crying and laughing at the mixture of despair and irony that should concern somebody. It probably looked pathetic, like I deserved to be locked up in a mental facility. The voices of everybody came back to my head, and I buried my face into the side of the cushioned bench. Like demented, haunted ghouls, that would likely follow me for as long as this second life would carry me. The train finally chuffed to life, jolting the cabin a little bit. The train whistle sounded one last time. The train moved slowly as it warmed itself from the storm before seeming to catch a rhythm and chug along. That was it; there was no going back. > 19 - Consequences > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a knock on the door to my cabin. I jumped a little as I hesitantly glanced up from staring at the table, and in the small window I could make out the form of a smiling mare. Judging by the hat, she seemed to be a stewardess of the train. I continued to look at her worriedly, completely unsure of what she wanted. My anxiety kicked in quickly. Would she kick me out? Was she going to ask a million questions? Or were they finally looking for tickets? The door gently and slowly opened, and the mare poked her head in. “Um, excuse me, little one, are you traveling alone?” I shied my eyes away from her and tried to look smaller. A panic grew in me, and I didn’t know how to respond. Noticing my shift in body language, the mare quickly waved a dismissive hoof, “It’s okay!” The stewardess affirmed, “Lots of little ones take the trains for the holidays; it’s alright, dear.” I sighed a bit in relief, finally looking back at her with a small, confirming nod. The stewardess smiled and glanced behind her at something outside of my cabin. I could hear the faint murmurs of some other conversation going on right behind the door. She fixed her gaze back on me apologetically. “I’m sorry to ask this of you; the train is rather full right now… and I’ve got a family behind me that can’t find anywhere else to sit. Would it be alright if they shared the cabin with you?” I felt some fear at the proposition and a bit of annoyance. All I wanted was to be alone right now, and the idea of sharing a cabin with strangers who would ask far too many questions sounded draining. I hummed slightly, unsure, as I finally spoke for the first time. My voice came out small and uneven. “Are you sure there isn’t anywhere else for them..?” The stewardess furrowed her brow and nodded apologetically. "No, there isn’t; I’m sorry, dear…” I heard a mare’s voice from behind the door address the stewardess suddenly; her voice was muffled but audible. “It’s quite alright if he doesn't want to, miss; we can stand in the halls if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.” “But momma! I don’t wanna stand.” A foal whined. I heard a jovial stallion’s voice as well, but couldn’t hear the words. The stewardess looked unsure between me and the family. I knew I was being difficult and taking up far more space than required. The thought soured my feelings and made me feel resigned and upset. Even disguised as I was, I still felt like a huge burden on everybody around me. I couldn’t catch a break, I guess. A good pony would happily agree to share. Was I a good pony? Debatably no; I was terrible at faking it as well. I let the sinking feeling of despair wash over me; I was just wasting space and being a nuisance if I said anything otherwise. So I hesitantly bowed my head and mumbled a reply to the antsy stewardess. “Okay, it’s fine; we can share.” I resigned with a small sigh. The stewardess smiled and nodded, opening the door the rest of the way before walking off with a cart. Suddenly, a head poked around the corner slowly. A green unicorn mare with dark green hair and violet highlights. She wore a purple bandana around her neck and a flower in her hair. Her eyes shone purple as she gave me a careful smile. “Sorry to barge in like that, sweetie. We do hate intruding on your privacy.” She said it gently in an apologetic way as she bowed her head. I just shrugged and turned my head to look out the window a bit. “It’s fine…” She walked forward a bit, and I could see her cutie mark was that of a vine with many purple flowers growing off of it. She turned back behind her and said, “Alright, come in.” Behind her trailed two small foals, probably a good half a foot—a hoof—smaller than me. Their fur was the same cream color on both, with light green hair and purple eyes. It was easy to tell that the two were twins of some kind. However, one had a horn and a more coltish hairstyle. And the other, which I assumed to be his sister, was an earth pony and was staring at me with a proud smirk. They were both tiny, and in classic small-child fashion, one of them immediately quipped something less than friendly. “Is the selfish filly sharing?” The small filly huffed. Her brother immediately bumped her with his side and rolled his eyes. “It’s not selfish; we’re strangers, dummy.” The mother blushed furiously as she glared down at her children and hushed them, “You two, behave!” She hissed. “Sorry momma.” They both answered at once with straightened backs. “You two better be nice or ahm gonna make you pay for your gifts tomorrow!” A stallion remarked teasingly with a small chuckle as he walked into view. He was a large, dark orange stallion with cream-colored hair and brown spots all over his body, and he was also wearing a green bandana backwards. He was rather large and imposing in size, easily rivaling Shining in height and definitely beating Shining in bulk. He set his sights on me and said, with a soft and sheepish expression, “Sorry to force ourselves in, little’un. Not tryin’a crowd ya too much.” It was clear by now that he had a sort of country accent. Which almost weirdly felt comforting, knowing that such things lived on in more than just the world I’d come from. I shrugged yet again, giving only a brief moment to take in the view of their family before I resigned myself back to the window view. The mother eventually clicked her hooves together as they all stood awkwardly in the doorway. “Um, so sorry, where are our manners? My name is Sage Blossom, and those two little ones are Ivy and Rue.” She pointed towards the filly for Ivy and the colt for Rue. I was starting to notice a pattern in their names; however, it wasn’t my business… so. Sage suddenly elbowed the stallion quite hard. He widened his eyes and cleared his throat. “Oh yes, ahm Heath Keeper. Pleasure to meet you… little’un.” He paused awkwardly at the end. Rue took a step towards his mother and sort of shied away. “Nice to meet you…” But the Ivy foal kept staring at me up and down, then huffed haughtily, “I don’t like her; she’s rude.” She remarked while raising her muzzle in defiance. “Ivy!” Heath huffed angrily, “What does yall’s mother always say about bein’ nice to strangers, little filly?” He glared expectantly at her. Ivy cowered a bit at her father’s gaze. “Momma said to treat others the way you wish to be treated.” Sage nodded resolutely. “It’s not nice to say things about somepony you’ve barely just met.” Sage looked up and gave me an apologetic bow. “She’s like this with new foals; I apologize… um…” She awkwardly glanced up expectantly and waited. In my continued silence, they hesitantly looked between each other and eventually decided to seat themselves. Sage finally laughed slightly and looked down at her foals. "Alright, you two, up! Or I’m gonna make Daddy’s threat to make you pay for your gifts a reality!” The mother smiled. After some fearful gasps, the two foals became quiet as their mother herded them up onto the same seat as me. The seat was large enough that I was still a comfortable distance away, but I still stiffened and tried to disappear quietly in the corner. The stallion settled in across from me as the mother closed the door and did the same. We sat there in awkward silence more than I’d like to admit. The only sound audible was the chugging of the train and the howling winds as it passed by. Eventually the stallion began quietly tapping his hoof on the table, and it almost felt like the room grew quieter moment by moment. “I’m… sorry, pumpkin. I didn’t quite catch your name earlier?” Sage continued to prod me verbally. They looked at me expectantly, and I suddenly felt my breath catch in my throat. I couldn’t tell them my name! They’d instantly know who I am and… throw me off the train or tell the conductor! Something awful would certainly happen. I shivered slightly at the thought of being thrown out into the snowstorm. “Everything alright, sweetheart?” Sage asked me with a tilted head. I instantly stuttered out a response—anything to get them off my case. “Um… uh, my m-mom told me not to tell strangers about myself.” I shuffled awkwardly as I lowered myself even more in my seat. “Oh yeah, mommy tells us the same thing.” Rue said absentmindedly as he scuffed the seat below. Ivy glared at him, “Because you’re too nice to everypony!” The two adults looked at each other for a moment, sharing a look before turning and smiling at me. Sage giggled as Heath nodded towards me. "Then, ah’d say your parents taught you well. How ‘bout a nickname then?” I furrowed my brow and tilted my head as Sage nodded with him in agreement. “Good idea! You don’t have to tell us if you aren’t comfortable, pumpkin. But I'd still like to have something to address you with for the trip!” Her smile was warm and encouraging. Too bad I knew it was fake and worthless, just like everybody else’s… But they were giving me an out, and I wouldn’t take that for granted. I hummed to myself as I put a hoof to my chin and thought of a nickname. Rock, because I kinda look like one? Or, like… Stoney… I also kinda look like a can of tuna, but I doubt ponies know what that is… “I um… you can call me… Ash or something… I guess.” I said slowly. “Ash is a sweet name,” Sage remarked, her eyes suddenly sparkling. “Can I call you Ashy? Aww, I love that name.” Ivy giggled. “Ashy!” I laughed awkwardly and nodded hesitantly. “Okay… that works…” I felt relief wash over me at getting past the introductions. Now all I had to do was wait until the train cleared a little more, and I’d be alone again. “Where ya headin', Ashy?” Heath inquired with a smile. At my uncomfortable look, Sage saved me some time to think of a lie. “We’re heading to Heath’s family’s big gathering. Quite a trip from the Empire for us.” I nodded slowly, so they were victims of mine as well, and I had ruined their homes right before vacation. I quickly lowered my head, and I couldn’t force myself to make eye contact. "Oh, I see… Sorry about your home…” The parents furrowed their brows and looked at each other curiously. Heath waved a hoof. “Everythin’s alright; our home’s still standing. And we know Princess Cadance will get the barrier back up an’ runnin’ soon.” He chuckled. “Something always goes on in Equestria; it ain’t our first time. Plus, it ain’t your fault, Ashy.” I felt a pit form in my stomach at those words, and I wished for nothing more than to disappear into thin air. But I knew that, in the interest of keeping their suspicions off me, I’d have to tell them something to hold them over. “I’m… uh… going home. I was having an early Hearth’s Warming with my… grandparents.” Sage tilted her head and asked, “Are they alright? No injuries or anything?” I quickly nodded. “They’re fine…” Heath hummed, “Well, good. There ain’t nothin’ more important than family. I just wish whatever had attacked the Empire hadn’t chosen such a bad time.” “Yeah… me too…” It got really silent again. Until the foals giggled. “I bet it was some big winter dragon!” Ivy proclaimed while roaring. Rue jumped a few times. "Oh, oh! What if it was a pack of windigos! Hehehe.” I looked over at the couple conversing and down at the siblings in the midst of a petty argument and huffed inwardly. I wonder what they’d do if they knew the monster in their minds was sitting right next to them. Would they scream? Run away and hide? They’d already forgotten about me now that they didn’t have to pretend to care who I was. Thank whatever deity exists for that… Cadance appeared in a flash of magic at the base of the castle. The first thing she saw was the crystal heart, still mostly intact. There were a few pieces chipped off, and it was lying on the ground next to its spot. She sighed as she watched a group of five or six guards heaving to try and lift it. “It’s alright, let me.” Cadance remarked calmly. “Princess!” One of them shouted as they all stood in formation. Cadance all but ignored them as her magic gripped the crystal heart. It was difficult even for her to lift, but with a bit of force, she was able to rectify it into the correct spot. The barrier didn’t immediately return as she had hoped, and with a sigh of resignation, she picked up the few broken pieces and forced them into their slot with a magical adhesive. The barrier rippled over her, to her surprise, blocking the eternal winter storm from falling as harshly. For a moment, she thought the barrier was fully intact, but it would fade in and out, never staying completely on in its half-fixed state. Therefore, it was only a temporary fix. Cadance shook her head; that was a problem for later. Right now, she had to see her foals; she needed to see them. She quickly walked away from the guards and towards the main entrance of the castle. She didn’t even have to push open the doors, as the guards at the entrance did swiftly for her. She didn’t know what she was expecting on the other side of those doors. But it was somehow worse than she had expected. The main entrance room had been turned into some sort of temporary hospital for the guards. A few ponies from the academy were concentrating on a barrier to keep the warmth in as multiple nurses made their way between the injured guards. She thanked Harmony herself that the injuries weren’t the worst they could’ve been. “Princess Cadance!” Cadance looked up at the voice in surprise as Moon Petal rushed up to her. Anybody who hadn’t noticed her yet now had as well, and the instant flood of questions from everywhere made her growl out a command. “Silence!” The room grew quiet as Cadance looked back down at her personal nurse, “Moon Petal?” She questioned wearily at seeing her out of breath and the fear in her eyes. “Well, it’s your daughter.” She said carefully. Cadance’s wings shot out and flared intensely as her eyes became pinpricks. “What happened?” She demanded an answer. “Follow me,” Moon said as she rushed off. Cadance followed her swiftly through the hallway and into a more secluded room. She pushed the door open quickly, and Cadance sighed in relief at the sight of her daughter. Looking shaken and having a bandaged wing, but still very much alive. With Silver standing guard right next to her. Flurry looked over at her, and shame washed through her body and eyes, but Cadance hadn’t noticed. Rushing over to her daughter and nuzzling her swiftly, "Oh, honey, are you okay?” She asked as tears left Flurry’s eyes. Moon came up beside her. “A broken wing; it was a clean break, thankfully. I’ve already checked for a concussion, and other than a bruised back leg, she’s alright.” Cadance sighed greatly in relief, gently petting Flurry’s hair as she held her to her chest. "Oh, thank goodness. You’re alright; Momma’s got you.” She pulled back slightly to look at Silver with a worried gaze. “Where is Kieran?” The room grew very silent, silent enough to hear a pin drop. Cadance’s heart stopped, and she suddenly found it very hard to breathe as she looked between the three with fear in her eyes. She hadn’t known such a striking feeling of terror in so long, and she hoped—prayed—that her mind was wrong. “Where is he?” Moon Petal sighed, “Cadance, we… we need to tell you something.” “Where is my son!?” Cadance shouted a lot louder and more commandingly. The two adults winced as Flurry flinched and suddenly burst out in tears. “Mo-Momma… Momma... I… I…I didn’t know!” Suddenly, assuming the absolute worst had happened, Cadance felt herself get lightheaded as she shook her head in disbelief. It all made sense now to her—the reason for her tracking spell disappearing. Something terrible had happened. And she wasn’t there; she didn’t save him. “He’s not… He’s not…” Cadance felt tears stream out of her eyes in horror. “You’re all lying to me! This isn’t happening!” Silver stepped forward, “It’s okay! He’s not dead, I promise.” Silver reassured her as she looked at Flurry. Cadance’s intense panic turned into confusion, and she listened intently to Silver’s words. “Allow me to explain, my princess.” It had been an hour since the ride began. They’d tried to start meaningless conversations with me for a while, but due to my willingness to talk being at an all-time low, I was left alone for most of it. I was feeling cold—much colder than I’d felt when initially getting on the train. I briefly looked up and wondered if the heating had stopped working. But everyone else was still conversing and acting as if it were normal, and the train was still steadily chugging along. But I was so inexplicably… cold. And I felt tired, like really tired. And had a headache. Though both of those were probably due to the events of my escape. It wouldn’t hurt to doze off, right? I rested my head on the wall and let my eyes slowly drift close as the white noise of the train lulled me into submission. I felt myself drifting off quite handily; however, it didn’t last as long as I’d had liked as one of the foals spoke loudly. “Why are you bleeding so much?” Rue asked, a bit uncomfortably close for my taste as I immediately flinched. My eyes shot open, and I gazed at him in curiosity as he pointed down at my hoof. “Your hoof is bleeding.” He said again with a tilted head. "Yeah, stupid, I think she knows.” Ivy said while pushing him a bit. I felt my anxiety come back again in full force as I looked down at my hoof. It was bleeding a bit more than I’d originally given it credit for, much to my unease. I’d completely forgotten, and under my hoof sat a rather large puddle of blood. Sage leaned over the table a bit and asked, “Do you have a cut or something, buttercup?” I shook my head quickly and pulled my hoof towards myself, using my good hoof to enclose the injured one in my cloak. “Yeah, it’s nothing, just a small cut.” I remarked quietly. Ivy gasped and pointed, “Ew! It’s dripping all over the floor!” Alarm covered the two adults' faces as Sage lowered her head below the table. “Oh my word!” She remarked quickly. She pulled her head up and looked at me in sudden horror. “Honey, a ‘small cut’ doesn’t create a pool of blood on the floor!” She admonished me quickly. Sage immediately stood up as Heath’s eyes widened at his wife’s words, lowering his head to see for himself. He huffed loudly in disbelief after looking underneath. “Ashy, that ain’t an alright amount of blood to be losing, little’un.” “Alright, up!” Sage commanded her foals, who immediately jumped down off the seat next to me. I shook my head and continued to shrink in my spot. “It’s fine, I told you. It stopped bleeding a while ago! I swear!” I touched my hoof to it under my cloak and winced audibly as I felt the warm liquid trail out of my body. Sage sat mouth-agape for a moment as she leaned over the seat. “Fine my flank!” She huffed as she outstretched her own hooves. “Ashy, let me see your hoof, please.” I slowly shook my head, and Sage sighed, “Ashy, I just want to help, dear. I promise.” I continued to hold it to myself as I looked at her wearily. But Sage grew impatient after a few more moments and sighed, “I don’t have time for you to be difficult about this, dear. It could be serious!” Against my wishes, she pulled my cloak away, gripped my hoof, and pulled me towards her, though it was much gentler than I was expecting. She turned my hoof over and got a good look at it. Though there wasn’t much to see since the entire leg was caked with a mix of dry and fresh blood. Sage shook her head in disbelief, unhoofing me for a moment as she untied the bandana from her neck. “It needs to be cleaned, but I’m going to cut your blood flow off for a bit first.” She did just as she said, tying her bandana on my upper leg as tight as she could. Her head locked onto her husband. “Heath dear, go see if they have a first aid kit, would you?” “Right away.” He remarked as he exited the cabin. Sage held her hoof’s fetlock over the wound with diligence as she put pressure on it. As we waited, she locked eyes with me, and I’d say I don’t think I’ve ever felt such shame from a stranger in my life. The look she was giving was the epitome of judgment that only a professional mother could scold a child with. It brought me right back to the days in the orphanage with Mrs. Cramble. You didn’t want to hide things from Mrs. Cramble… “And why did you not get any help with this?” She asked curtly with a raised brow. My eyes drifted away again as shame washed over me. “I didn’t think it was such a big deal…” “You wouldn’t have been thinking anything for much longer if you’d kept letting yourself bleed out like this.” The blood from my cut was now seeping out from the edges around Sage’s hoof. “Honestly, sometimes I feel like foals have no self-preservation.” She continued as she clicked her tongue worriedly. Sage pulled her other hoof up so she could put twice the pressure on it. “How would your momma have felt when you returned to her without any blood in you?” She scolded me with a raised eyebrow. “Our momma would scream.” Ivy said with a bit more seriousness than she’d been before as the two foals sat on the other bench across from us. “Yeah, and cry… like a lot.” Rue remarked. “Because this is like… worst nightmare number two or three for every single momma in the world!” Sage said, a bit of worry creeping into her voice as the blood from my hoof still managed to make its way out between both her hooves. "Honestly, Ashy, what were you thinking, dear?” I started crying, but probably not for the reason Sage thought. I genuinely hadn’t noticed the wound, and along with the slew of other things that had gone wrong recently, I was nearing my breaking point. But I managed to hold on a bit longer; it helped focusing my crying on the pain I was just now feeling instead of the elephant in the room—or my mind. I think Sage felt a bit guilty about her admonishment after I started crying. She leaned in and placed her muzzle on top of my head as a way to comfort me without hooves. “Shh… it’ll be alright. We’ll get you fixed up, pumpkin.” The shutter of the door rolled open. “Ahm back!” Heath announced, “An’ I found a doctor too.” Sage widened her eyes at that, as a pink and red-maned unicorn mare walked in and instantly took hold of the situation. She set the first aid kit down on the table and looked towards me and Sage. “Open wound, applying pressure, and cut the blood flow off.” The nurse smiled at Sage, “Good job!” She began rummaging through the kit. “Alright, just keep doing what you’re doing for a moment, alright?” Sage nodded. The nurse was rather efficient at her job. She cleaned the wound with alcohol, which felt awful but nonetheless worked. And unfortunately for me, the nurse had to put three stitches into the leg wound. Sage had to hold me still, as the piercing feeling of needles with nothing to stifle the pain was horrible. But in all, the entire process didn’t take too long, and the nurse gave me a dose of pain medication she carried with her on her travels. Before long, she was exiting the room with instructions on when I could remove the stitches as well as things to avoid while I had them. With all the blood cleaned off of me and Sage, and Heath wiping the seat and floor of the rest of it. The nurse hummed as she looked at me. “She’ll probably be really sleepy, which should be okay now. Make sure she drinks a lot of water, and please come get me if she acts overly lethargic or oddly in any way.” Sage nodded intently at her words, “Thank you.” The nurse gave a final nod, “No problem; I hope your daughter gets to feeling better.” Sage opened her mouth to correct her, but simply shrugged as the nurse shut the door. I resisted the heavy urge to groan at the heavy feeling of pain and annoyance. I kept myself secluded in the far corner of the other seat. Their two foals watched me intently from a few feet away, now that my cloak had been removed due to all the blood coating it. And I really couldn’t have cared less what they were thinking; my mind was numb. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. After a minute, Heath chuckled softly. “Nothin’ like a medical emergency to bond a couple’a strangers together!” It remained silent, as Sage lightly elbowed his side, he quickly cleared his throat. Sage sighed and stood up, scooping up her two foals who were on the seat next to me. “Hey!” Ivy grumbled as she placed them in the seat next to their father. Sage slid into the seat next to me and leaned down. “Feeling okay?” “Better than before you and the nurse held me down and stabbed me?” I griped. Sage actually giggled a bit at that as she hoofed me a cup of water. “Sorry pumpkin. I had to do what’s necessary…” I reached out to grab it, but due to my exhaustion, I wasn’t even able to force my magic to grab it. That’s why I always let Cadance… Ugh… “Need help?” She offered, and I gave a begrudging and slow nod as she raised the cup to my lips, and I let the cool water wash down my throat. Satisfied, Sage pulled it away and set it down as I fell more into my drowsiness. My eyes shot open at the sudden feeling of a hoof against my mane. I shied away and looked back at Sage, who tilted her head. I sighed and pulled myself farther away from her. “Can I be left alone, please?” Her brow shifted downward as she looked at me worriedly. “I’m sorry, would you like a blanket?” I just shook my head and returned my head back to its place in the corner as I tried to shut my eyes. She gave me a soft, worried sigh. “The seat isn’t very comfy… Wouldn’t you rather me hold you while you sleep?” The brief image of Cadance flashed before my eyes, and Sage was giving me the same worried voice. I knew Sage was just trying to help, but I still grew annoyed and shifted away from her coldly. “Like I said, I’d rather be left alone.” I said maybe a bit harshly. Sage’s face fell sadly as she gently scooted herself away to the other side of the seat. “Okay… Just… tell us if you need something, pumpkin.” “We’re here if you're needin’ anythin’.” Heath reconfirmed as well. I held myself back from saying anything more as I huffed and buried my head under my good hoof. Curling into a ball on the seat. By the time I’d almost fallen asleep, I felt a soft blanket make its way onto me. But I didn’t fuss about it and simply resigned myself to a much-needed recharge. Cadance continued to pace back and forth in the room; her face darkened as she looked at her hooves. She would pace briskly to the end of the room, then turn before doing it all again. Her mouth moved silently as she did so. Flurry couldn’t help but continue to shiver in the bed. “Momma?” She spoke quietly. She had never seen Cadance act so coldly before, and not at all to her of all ponies. Cadance stopped, briefly giving her foal a charged gaze, before gritting her teeth and sighing as she continued to pace again. Nurse Moon Petal cleared her throat. “Well, that’s all I have information wise, my lady. I will take my leave to help the other nurses if you wouldn’t mind.” Cadance stopped and nodded curtly. “Thank you.” She muttered under her breath, though it was just audible over the deafening silence. Cadance began lightly tapping her hoof against the floor. As Moon exited the room and the door clicked shut, a heavy feeling filled the room. It was so thick that it almost suffocated the occupants. Flurry felt conflicted but scrambled to say something before it was too late: “I’m sorry, Momma.” Cadance’s hoof tapping stopped, and she sat there with her back turned for a few moments. “Why?” Flurry shrank. “Why am I… sorry?” Cadance turned and gave her a sharp look, her eyes piercing right through her and making her blood run cold. “Why’d you do it?” Flurry’s eyes widened. “I… I didn’t… I didn’t do it on purpose.” Cadance stamped her hoof. “Lies,” she said harshly, causing a wave of fear to wash over both Flurry and Silver standing next to her. Cadance took a few steps towards her. “He begged you, and you didn’t listen. The moment you understood what was happening, you should’ve shut up, gotten Silver, and waited for me to arrive back home…” Cadance gritted her teeth and glared. “But what did you do!?” She yelled. Flurry burst into tears as she tried to hide. “I… I know! I’m sorry!” “Sorry is not going to rebuild the trust that I’d been building with Kieran for weeks!” Cadance shook her head in disbelief. “What you did was so incredibly selfish, it makes me sick!” Cadance scoffed. Flurry shook her head wildly. “I was doing it to get him his magic, finally!” “And he begged you not to!” Cadance snapped right back at her, “You don’t just force somepony to do something as they sit there and plead and beg you to stop!” “I…I…” Flurry whimpered and cried, “I thought I knew better than he did… and I was wrong…” Cadance shook her head as her face darkened. “I told you to leave him be; let him grow at his own pace. And all you did was shatter his trust a second time…” Cadance's voice broke as she held her head with one hoof and began to cry. “Flurry, do you understand how hard it is to mend somepony that’s been broken twice? It might not ever happen.” Flurry looked down at her hooves, opening her mouth over and over, hoping she had an excuse. Though she knew she didn’t deserve one, and that answer never came, no matter how much she sat in silence. “I thought I raised you better…” Cadance sighed. “You did, momma…” Flurry choked out. Silver looked between the two awkwardly and sighed, “Princess-” Cadance held a hoof up and glared. “I don’t want to hear it from you either right now, Silver.” Cadance snapped as she glared dangerously. “The only other face he saw right after Flurry made him do all of this was yours.” Silver nodded solemnly and bowed her head. “And I looked at him like a monster. Yes, you’re right. I regret it terribly.” Cadance nodded curtly. “You told me you understand how a mother thinks, yes?” Cadance asked. Silver gave a shameful nod as Cadance gritted her teeth. “So I think you’ll understand when I tell you to leave the room, right now.” Without a word, Silver saluted and exited the room. Though Silver paused at the door with her back turned, “I will continue to have the guards look for Kieran. I promise I’ll make amends, my princess.” At the lack of response, she continued outward. Cadance watched carefully as she exited without issue. And when she was gone, she kept her back turned on her daughter. Flurry shuddered with fear and anxiety. “Momma, where’d Kieran go?” Cadance sighed and bowed her head. “I don’t know.” She seethed through her teeth harshly. “But… the tracking spell…” “Gone. Ever since his magical cataclysm. The pressure was so heavy it snapped.” Cadance continued with a thoughtful and cold-sounding voice. “Oh…” Flurry spoke quietly as she teared up again. “Momma… I really messed up this time.” Cadance sighed greatly and looked back at her daughter with a sad glint in her eyes. “Yes, I think you have.” Flurry sniffled as she alternated between hooves, wiping her dripping face. "Momma, do you…. D-Do you h-hate me now?” She whimpered, “Because… B-Because I’m really sorry!..” She broke down, crying. Cadance looked up at her daughter with shaky breaths of her own, finding it hard to find any words to help her. Flurry hiccuped through her tears. “I just wanted e-everyone to be happy… But I ruined everything, a-and now everyone hates me.” Cadance’s lip quivered and her eyes softened as she walked back over. “No… No shh…” She leaned her head in and nuzzled it over Flurry’s head. “I don’t hate you, honey.” “B-But you’re disappointed, right? Like, really, really disappointed?” Flurry countered through sobs. Cadance sighed and sat down, pulling one hoof up onto the bed to hug the filly slightly closer to herself. “I am, but… for many reasons.” Cadance continued to stroke the back of her hair and nuzzle her at the same time. “An alicorn's power is just so… potent. I will never understand why it was given to a foal. I can raise you as best I can, but eventually there will be hiccups, as there are when raising any unicorn or pegasus.” Flurry blinked a few tears away and looked up into her mother’s eyes. “So y-you blame whatever made me an alicorn?” Cadance sat back and gave her daughter a worried look before another sigh escaped her lips. “Alright, little one, let us get something clear right now.” Flurry tilted her head curiously and sat in silence, waiting. Cadance smiled. “I wouldn’t trade you for the entire world; I love you with all my heart… However, I also would have never, if given the opportunity, allowed you to be born an alicorn.” Flurry nodded carefully, understanding exactly why such a problem would be caused by her mere existence. Cadance slowly took her hoof away from her daughter. “But even if alicorn magic is too much for a foal to possess, I am still incredibly disappointed in how you’ve handled it. Unfortunately, life isn’t a fairy tale, Flurry. You can’t just wish somebody’s problems away and erase who somebody is just to fit your own ideals.” Flurry lowered her head in admission as her mother scolded her. “But I wasn’t trying to…” Cadance furrowed her brow. “While you may not have meant for any of this, your actions are the direct cause of everything that has happened. When, or if Kieran ever returns, would you have him take the blame for it?” Flurry shook her head wildly. “N-No! I would never… I…” She looked lost for words. Cadance hummed, “Then it would be up to you to shoulder the blame. To take with full responsibility the repercussions of your actions.” Flurry trembled. “Would I go to the dungeons?” “Well, would you expect Kieran to?” Cadance countered right back, Flurry opened her mouth to say no, and Cadance huffed with a raised brow. “So you see where selfishness can bring you, hmm? You’re so eager to take the blame for him, yet worried about the consequences. What would you do if one of you did have to be thrown in the dungeons?” Flurry suddenly shook her head rapidly. “I don’t want to be selfish! I’ll do anything if it means Kieran isn’t blamed for it all!” Flurry cried with a desperate tinge in her voice. She quivered, “But you wouldn’t actually throw me in there, right, momma?” Cadance sighed, standing on all her hooves and resting a hoof on her daughter’s head. “No, Flurry, I wouldn’t. I just want you to think about things and where those thoughts can bring you. Nobody likes a selfish princess.” Cadance brought her hoof away and looked down at it as she began to let her thoughts wander aimlessly. Cadance turned her back and sighed. “Unfortunately, my poor colt is still out there freezing in the snow…” Cadance’s voice barely contained the strained worry and heartache she felt as she walked towards the door. "Momma, are you leaving?” Flurry asked carefully. Cadance huffed, unwilling to answer any more questions. “I need to find Kieran before it’s too late.” She opened the door and felt the wind chill her to the bones, which seemed to strike a bit more adrenaline into her as she thought horribly of what could’ve happened to her, Kieran. Even Flurry pulled the blanket around her tighter as her thoughts also wandered to her stray clone. Wondering just what she had inflicted upon the poor foal. “I’ll be here. Please find him, momma.” Flurry said nearly above a whisper. And with a short nod, Cadance exited her room, closing it with a resolute shut. There wasn’t very much for Flurry to ponder. She had very few chances to make things right. She had hurt her kingdom, her friends, and her family, and worst of all, she had tortured an already battered heart with the exact same wound that he’d already been inflicted with in times past. And for a brief moment, Flurry wondered if there was any difference between her and a monster. She broke down crying again, burying herself in her blanket as she repeated the same words over and over: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” She whimpered again and again. She pleaded in her mind, as if somewhere, something could hear her. ‘I’ll fix everything; I’ll actually fix everything. Just tell me what to do! I have to do something. I have to know why…’ And with as cryptic a question as that was, she continued to sob as she ran through the events of the day in her mind. Again and again. As Cadance walked through the castle, she pushed the remnants of rubble to the side, clearing a pathway until she was able to make it to her regular study room. Opening the door required more effort as she pushed books and furniture away from the door. She looked around for only a moment with a forlorn sigh before looking around for what she needed. After acquiring a paper, ink, and a quill, she sat herself down at the desk, which managed to sit in the same spot as it always did. She began writing. “To my dearest friends and family,” Cadance finished writing the letter with tears in her eyes, begging her friends and family to help her. She had no idea what else to do, and she felt that she couldn’t be trusted to run her kingdom in this state. She finished sealing the letter and rolling it; she duplicated it, sending it to all who she trusted. As the scrolls disappeared in front of her in a plume of magic, a brief image flashed in her mind of her sitting at this very desk. Teaching Kieran to read as he excitedly pointed to words in the book. And when she’d teach him history, he’d point to parts of the map and look to her for praise. She lowered her head to the desk between her hooves and cried. > 20 - Train Terrors > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I’m hungry…” “Can you quit your whining?” “No, you’re hungry too.” “I am, but I’m not annoying about it!” It was a relatively normal day in Dodge Junction. A day before Hearth’s Warming, the small desert town wasn’t known entirely for its festivities. Still, regardless of the lack of snowfall, a hefty portion of the town was still making their rounds. Buying last-minute gifts or greeting each other with baked goods. And while Dodge Junction was quaint, the hustle and bustle of the encroaching holiday seemed to bring the relatively dull town to life. Most shops and stalls were rather busy, yet regardless of the apparent festivities, one particular shop remained mostly empty. After all, they were selling apples, and not many would go to Dodge Junction for their apples, rather than the slightly larger sister town named after apples. So the stall worker at the apple stand yawned, glancing up at the sky from under his hat to gauge the position of the sun. “You’re annoying.” “You tracked us both through a desert and won’t even consider eating something, and I’m the annoying one!?” Unbeknownst to the stall worker was the bickering of two individuals shrouded by the barrel they hid behind. The worker picked up an apple and rubbed it gingerly, making it glint slightly in the sunlight that shone down upon it. This sight suddenly made the stock look much more appetizing for one such individual. “Look at how good they are… Can we take one?” "Oh, so now we’re stealing? Mom would be so proud.” “Shut up, mom’s not here, and I don’t think I can walk another second with my stomach grumbling louder than you in your sleep.” “Fine… Fine! If it’ll get you to shut up as well. Jeez.” Despite the continued lack of notice from passing ponies, even with the worker’s vehement attempts at waving friendly or beckoning others, nobody came. The young stall worker was becoming worried for a moment; if his boss came around and noticed him just standing there, he’d be ruined. He’d already be angry about the lack of customers, after all. So the young stall worker did the only thing he could think of, bringing out a small broom and positioning it into his teeth. He then began sweeping behind the stall. Adopting a jovial whistle to go along with it. To passing ponies, it’d make him look busy, though a closer look would reveal the young stallion to simply be sweeping the dirt ground. Neither cleaning it nor making it dirtier. Since it was… well… dirt. It was only a few minutes later when, for a brief moment, the worker jumped as the barrel in the alleyway behind his stall fell to its side. His eyes shot up in alarm; he almost thought he’d seen something slinking around in the dark, but after a few more moments of scrutiny, it seemed meaningless. He came to the conclusion that it was simply a stray, “Stupid cat.” The worker muttered under his breath as he switched from sweeping to re-arranging stock in the alley behind him. Unbeknownst to him were the two individuals hiding under his stall. “They do look good…” “See? Told you. Grab one in your mouth too.” “Lieksh Thish?” “Mhm!” The individuals continued to make their heist, and managed to snag as many as they could possibly hold. “Hey, watch it; your wing is in the way!” One hissed annoyingly at the other. “I was going for that one.” "Well, I saw it first!” The bickering led to growling as the worker again looked over at his stall with a bit more suspicion. As it got louder, he rolled his eyes and huffed annoyedly, "Whiskers, did you get stuck under the stall again?.. Dumb cat…” “He’s coming back.” “Just run!” As the stallion rounded the corner, he flew back onto his rump in surprise as the individuals rushed out from under his stall as quick as a flash. He sat on the ground, stunned, his hat blowing in the wind at incredible speeds. As the stunned silence wore off, he looked over his stall. And among the various apples littering the ground, there was a noticeable dip in his hoard. The young stallion stood up in awe as he gazed at his stall, then back down the alley where the flash of light had gone. Whatever had stolen from him, whether pony or animal, had made out with at least half of his stock. “Boss isn’t gonna like this…” He muttered in defeat, halfheartedly picking up his broom and sweeping more dirt. “Luna, don’t be rash.” In Luna’s mind, there had been no more insulting words than those at that moment. She needed to act now, to act quickly. It was insulting to treat the issue with any less urgency than rashly. She prepared a spell, one that would bring her closer than the slow train could ever hope of. As her horn thrummed to life and her sister begged, “Luna, please wait!” Wait, for what? Luna wondered. Would her sister have her sit here and wait for others to fix everything? Wait until it’s too late and something happens to her nephew that she can’t fix or reverse, no matter how much magic she used? If her spell hadn’t gone off soon after, the words coming out of Luna’s mouth would’ve been scathing. To think her sister wanted Luna to abandon Kieran to himself. She knew better than anybody how the colt was feeling at that moment, but the stark contrast between Kieran and her in the same situation is that Luna had been filled with an uncontrollable and unwieldy rage, which kept her with a single-minded selfish goal. Kieran didn’t. All he was feeling was betrayal, loss, and emptiness. An emptiness so deep that it might consume him, take hold of his mind, and make him… ‘No!’ Luna shouted inwardly at her own thoughts. At once, her horn lit, sending her spiraling through the intense matrix of magic that only an alicorn could endure. And even when she arrived, she still felt herself double over in nausea and dizziness. Teleportation spells weren’t made for traveling so far in one go, and even less so when being charged so quickly. A teleportation of this caliber would be the best fit for a long-thought-out and intricately crafted matrix of spells. She didn’t have time for this. She took multiple deep breaths as her lungs desperately sucked up the air that had been deprived of her. Her eyes began to focus on her hooves, finally. Luna looked up abruptly as the effects wore themselves out slightly. She noted the familiar streets of Canterlot that led up to their old castle. Her brow furrowed a bit at the sight, and she gritted her teeth. Yes, she was much closer to her destination now, but she cursed herself for not being as proficient at teleporting as her sister could be, lest she’d already be in the empire. But Celestia had somepony to look after—a son. Which she recognized would be impossible for her to bring on such short notice. If the young one could even survive such a spell. The crowd around Luna had gasped as she entered the space before them. And now only stood in complete silence and awe at her sudden appearance, which had scorched the ground around impact with black markings. Luna looked around, mentally remarking how beautiful the decorations for the holidays were. She began walking as quickly as she could, ignoring the sudden calls and greetings from the surrounding nobles, who no doubt wanted to take advantage of her. Luna had not missed this aspect of ruling, being constantly beset on all sides by conniving, morally abhorrent nobles who often only wished to gain the largest bit purse. It didn’t take Luna long to make her way up to the castle. The crowds quickly realized that she was in no mood to humor them and promptly cleared a path upwards for her. Even the guards at the gate spent no mind on her sudden appearance, simply remarking her name in surprise before opening every gate and door she came across. Luna practically stormed into the main throne room, declaring her intent. “I need a chariot to the Crystal Empire, now.” It helped that at least half the guard was gathered here in the room, but she was surprised to see a lack of Twilight at the throne. A few guards in the back rows glanced her way with apprehension, but most stood stoic, if not relatively unphased. She would admit they were trained well if she wasn’t in such a hurry. Instead, she was greeted by Starlight, who quickly rushed over and bowed, “Princess L-Luna! How nice of you to… visit?” She ended with a hint of unease. Luna gazed down at the mare, urgency in her eyes. “Starlight! Could you arrange for me a chariot post haste? Or better yet, tell me where Twilight is?” “She’s on her way.” Another voice suddenly appeared next to Luna, and she looked over to see the tall, bulky form of Spike approaching. He crossed his arms with a solemn frown. “I assume you’re here because of the letter, Luna?” Luna nodded briskly, belting out her first thoughts. “I need a chariot. I care not if anypony is to join me, but I request this as urgently as possible.” “Whoa, whoa.” Spike held his paws up and gestured calmly, “Luna, breathe, okay? At least stay and speak to Twilight first.” Luna bit her bottom lip as she held herself back from rebuttal and nodded shortly. Starlight looked between the dragon and Luna with intense confusion and asked, “Letter? What’s going on? And why did Spike gather the entire guard here? He wouldn’t explain it to me.” “Sorry, I was in a rush.” Spike remarked, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. Luna took a deep breath and sighed, looking down at Starlight as she thought of how to explain things. “The Crystal Empire is practically in ruins.” Starlight’s eyes widened as she opened her mouth in shock and gasped. “No…” Luna nodded. “Unfortunately, it seems Flurry figured something out about her magic, and Kieran was involved. She released Kieran’s latent magic power… and well… You know what a magic surge is…” Starlight shook her head in disbelief. “But why would… Flurry do that to him?” “We’re all as lost as you are, Starlight.” A new voice entered, and they all looked up to see Twilight entering the throne room. She wasn’t wearing her usual crown or other adornments and had a downcast, almost depressed attitude about her. The guards all proceeded to salute swiftly before standing back at attention. Twilight approached the small group quickly, her eyes still wet from crying as she levitated the scroll she held over to Starlight. “Cadance seems just as lost as us. Her letter is disorganized and borderline confusing, but… I can’t blame her.” Twilight said, lowering her head. “She’s dealing with a lot…” Starlight quickly read the letter, covering her mouth with a hoof in shock as she reached the end. “That’s awful!” She looked up at all of them, “So Flurry was commanding him the whole time… on accident?” Luna gritted her teeth, “If we’re to believe her words.” Twilight sighed sharply with a hint of admonishment at the accusation. “Luna, you know as well as I do that Flurry doesn’t understand anything about her alicorn abilities. They are enigmatic as they are frightening, especially after today.” Twilight gave a curious gaze back down at the page before shifting her eyes upward. She began to feel worried, as Luna’s expression of conflict and fear was plain for all to see as the mare essentially nipped at the hoof in front of her face. “Luna, I don’t think she would’ve hurt Kieran like that on purpose.” Twilight sighed. “Regardless, there are lots of victims in this situation.” Luna’s eyes narrowed as she refused to settle her opinion: “Whether Flurry tells the truth or not, I’d like to see for myself. Do you have a chariot I can take?” Twilight looked at her with an intrigued hum, “I could; do you really intend to race there now while you’re completely overwhelmed by emotion?” Spike and Starlight took a few steps back together and winced. Luna sat and crossed her hooves with a loud huff of disbelief. “You really think that? I’m perfectly in control of my emotions.” The three others around her all simultaneously raised a brow and gave her a scrutinizing look. Luna blinked, then groaned, throwing her hooves up in defeat as she turned her head. “I’ve spoken to Kieran the most, other than Cadance’s family. I… I can’t just let him run himself into the ground… I…” Luna held her hooves out pleadingly as she stared at the ground. “I don’t know what else to do!” She teared up. Twilight took a few steps forward and brought the alicorn into a hug, wings and all. “Luna…” she muttered sadly. Luna finally broke down and started crying. “I told him… told him that they were worth trusting.” “This isn’t your fault, Luna.” Starlight corrected her. Spike nodded. “Nobody could’ve predicted this.” Luna shook her head. “He’s going to run himself ragged until there’s nothing left of the foal I knew… I’ve been there, too. It’s lonely, it’s hurtful, and worst of all, it’s terrifying. But Kieran doesn’t… He doesn’t have anypony right now. I don’t want him to hurt himself; he’s my nephew.” Luna cried, pleading with Twilight as she drooped her head. “Please, I have to try and help him.” Twilight sighed long and deeply before slowly pulling back from the alicorn and looking into her teary eyes. “Luna, I’ll get you on a chariot, but you have to promise me something.” Luna looked up curiously and eagerly, and she continued, “Don’t kill my niece, please.” Luna let a small laugh slip as she shook her head. “I’m not going to kill Flurry, Twilight… That would be far too simple a punishment.” Twilight tried to disregard that as a joke, because otherwise it terrified her. “No, no punishments, Luna.” Twilight said with a fluster. Luna scoffed. “If I wanted to punish her with, say… endless nightmares about her test grades in school… would that still be too much?” Twilight studied Luna’s face for a moment, realizing that it was a simple tease. Starlight and Spike released a short laugh, and soon a grin formed on Twilight’s face as she shook her head, “You’re unbelievable.” Twilight cleared her throat and suddenly called out, “I need a chariot arranged for the Crystal Empire. I need the quickest flyers available.” A few of the pegasus guards saluted and walked out of the room. “What are you all going to do?” Luna questioned slowly the other three, who then looked towards Twilight. “Well,” Twilight started with another sigh, “I think it goes without saying, but Hearth’s Warming is a distant thought at this point.” She gestured to the guard around her, “I had Spike gather as many volunteers as possible; we’ll be sending all these guards straight to the Crystal Empire to help with recovery.” Starlight stepped forward and nodded. “I don’t think it’s a great idea to have all three of us go to the Crystal Empire just yet under these circumstances. What if Kieran took a train? Do we know if the station was damaged?” Spike raised a brow and hummed, “You really think he’d be able to do something like that?” Starlight huffed, “He’s a foal, not dumb. If I was going to escape a place blanketed in eternal winter with ponies that I hated, I’d look for a way to leave as well.” Luna gazed down at the floor, “Assuming he even has the will to urge himself to do anything.” They sat in silence, thinking. Starlight then spoke again briskly, “Even if we do find him, I don’t think foalnapping him and trying to force him to trust us is exactly… going to work. He hardly knows us after all.” The room grew silent as the four thought about that. Even if they were to find him at that exact moment, what could they say? How would they approach him? How do you approach somebody who doesn’t wish to see you? Luna shook her head. “It has to be me; I’m the only one who can reason with him.” The other three looked at her suddenly with surprise as Luna held a hoof to her chest. “I’m the only one who can reasonably claim I wasn’t affected by Flurry’s unintended influence. I think… I think I have a good shot at convincing him.” “Princess! The chariot is prepared!” A random guard called out suddenly. Twilight nodded thankfully, taking a step forward and gingerly grabbing Luna’s hoof. “I trust in your judgment, Luna. I believe that you, Cadance, and Shining will figure something out.” Twilight turned her head and looked at Starlight. “You should go with Luna.” Starlight’s eyes widened. “A-Are you sure, princess?” Twilight nodded swiftly. “Of course. I can tell you’re worried about Sunburst. Or am I wrong?” Starlight’s eyes suddenly widened. “Of course not!” She briskly trotted over and grabbed Luna’s hoof. Levitating her previously gathered suitcase in her magic as she practically dragged Luna out of the building. “Off we go, princess!” Twilight watched as Starlight and Luna rushed out the door. When they were gone, she released a sigh and turned to Spike. “We should get started as well.” Spike gave a resolute nod. “Ashy… Ashy.” My eyes opened groggily and rather reluctantly to the cabin of the train as Sage gently nudged my shoulder. I rubbed my eyes and yawned as I sat up and looked around curiously. Heath was reading some sort of book, and the other two foals were passed out next to him. I looked up to my left at Sage and tilted my head. She smiled sweetly and pointed out the window. "Sorry, Pumpkin. But I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss your stop. Since we don’t know which one it is.” I followed her pointing hoof and looked out the window in awe. We had made it past the blanket of pure winter storms that was the Crystal Empire, and we were chugging along the open snow fields of… somewhere. The sky was rather clear, and my view was unobstructed. The fields glistening in snow we passed over were not the main point of interest. Up in the sky was an absolutely awe-inspiring spectacle. A literal city floating in the sky, buildings above the clouds. Well, the city itself was made of clouds! Large arching buildings, with rainbows pouring off of the sides like rivers turning into a waterfall. Skyscrapers made of clouds that twisted and turned like some odd Dr. Seuss book. The view was absolutely otherworldly. I knew that pegasi could stand on clouds, but I’d never thought of actually making a city in the clouds! Sage giggled. “Well, I know you aren’t a pegasus, but it is quite an enchanting site, huh?” I nodded slowly as Heath lowered his book and looked out as well. He spoke quietly, “Yup, the train don’t stop for Cloudsdale. But our next stop, Canterlot, is pretty darn close.” I looked past Cloudsdale to see another mind-boggling site. A huge mountain range, with an absolutely massive castle sitting on the precipice of it. I could see a whole city below that, winding around the mountains with pointed rooftops and sprawling mansions that seemed to never end. The city creeped elegantly down the side of the mountain into the surrounding valley below, like a flowing dress adorning the rocky face. Judging by the trajectory of the tracks, we were making a stop directly in the middle of the city. Sage touched my shoulder again, abruptly bringing me out of my observation. “Judging by your look of awe, I’ll guess Canterlot isn’t your home?” My eyes widened at the question, and as I looked back at her in surprise, I slowly shook my head. If there was somewhere past Canterlot I could go, I would. I needed to get as far away from the Crystal Empire as possible. Plus, I don’t think a homeless, dull-looking filly wearing a tablecloth would fit in such a fancy-looking city. It was no doubt filled to the brim with rich, uptight ponies. Or maybe a bunch of tourists? I had a relatively small idea of where the train was heading overall. I’d looked at the map of Equestria before… And to my knowledge, there were many coastal cities I could arrive at on the complete opposite side of the continent. I’d just have to bide my time and wait for them. I hummed negatively, “Is it your guys’ stop?” I asked them. Heath shook his head and rolled his hoof with an almost exhausted look. “Nope. If’n our family decided to stop there, we probably wouldn’t be affordin’ ah simple dinner.” He said with a short huff of laughter. Yup, that checks out with my observation of the city. We sat in silence again as I continued to look out the window. Until Sage brushed her hoof against my back with soothing precision and asked, “Is your hoof feeling okay still?” I moved myself a bit farther away from her, shying her hoof off of me. “It’s… fine.” I didn’t even look her way afterwards as I rested my head on a hoof that was sitting on the table. They got distracted in conversation with each other, and I slowly looked down at the glass of water in front of me. I glowered as I eyed it, seething at the idea that I needed help taking a simple drink of water. In defiance, I lowered my hoof down to grab it and drink, but as I held my hoof up to it, I found that I couldn’t grip… at all. It wasn’t just the same weak grip I’d known ever since I arrived here; it simply felt gone. And suddenly, my two nubs for limbs started to feel a lot more useless. My memory flashed back to the words Flurry commanded me last… “Stop using magic!” My brain was setting off alarms that those words were the culprits. But there’s no way that Flurry yelling made me completely unable to use magic forever, right? Maybe I was just completely drained after the outburst that happened? I couldn’t help the completely helpless feeling washing through me. Like a fog cramming into my brain that I could dissipate. And the annoyed, resigned rage that I felt at being at the absolute bottom of the barrel of society in this place. I mean, nobody would care if a useless little earth pony filly went missing, right? The thought almost made me chuckle. “Do you need help?” Sage suddenly asked me as she reached a hoof forward to grab the glass. With no outlet for the range of emotions I was feeling, I lashed out. Regrettably, as I had wanted to keep a low profile, the fog encroaching on my mind was presently overwhelming. I mean, just a few hours ago, I blew up a city full of living, breathing beings. Even if they all might just be fake and irredeemable, just like the royal family… It still hurt… a lot. My lashing out took shape in the form of a harsh glare as my clenched teeth barely inched open. “I’m perfectly fine. Just leave me alone.” I hissed, pulling the blanket over me and secluding myself in the corner of the bench. The cabin grew completely silent again, and I didn’t feel or hear another thing from them for long after that. Eventually the train pulled into the station, coming to a stop with a loud hiss as the train rested. The city outside looked exactly as I’d imagined: fancy, upbeat, and probably expensive. The ponies roaming the street were wearing dresses, tuxedos, and any other number of regularly changing fashion choices. Alternatively, another thing piqued my interest and made a pit form in the depths of my body as I half-heartedly peeked out from beneath my blanket. Outside, there was a line of guards—at least a dozen or so. And as each pony from the train got off, they were met with the guards, forced to stand completely still as the guard scrutinized them. After everypony who was going to exit had done so, the guards themselves split up, walking up to each train car and boarding. It was at this point that I felt a cold sweat begin to develop as I hid myself even more in the blanket. Did they know I was on the train? Were they going to use magic on me and discover me? Sage’s words only further heightened my anxiety: “This is new… I wonder what the guards are doing?” Heath hummed, “Probably a new law or somethin’.” I could hear each cabin in the train car we were in get knocked on and opened. And I could hear some form of conversation from each cabin. My anxiety just kept climbing, higher and higher, as I began shaking in my spot. The blanket quivering on top of me like a childish ghost costume for Halloween. Sage glanced at me oddly. “Ashy..?” My eyes widened, and I turned my head away again, laying down in the seat as I tried to suppress my absolute fear and shivering. Eventually, after a long, deafening period of anticipation, there was a knock on our cabin. Heath stood up and slid it open for them as a guard stepped in. It was a unicorn mare, and I felt my blood run absolutely cold. “Good evening, folks.” She said cheerily, “Sorry about this; there’s a culprit in the area we believe took the train, so we’ve gotta get a good look at every passenger.” A culprit!? Is that what I am? Were they going to throw me in the dungeons or… or exile me if I was caught? Feed me to a gryphon? Did Cadance or Shining really alert this city that I was such a terrible pony that deserved to be taken away by the guards? I couldn’t help but start quivering terribly; if this mare decided to scan me, it was all over! I’d spend the rest of my days rotting in the Canterlot dungeons under Princess Twilight’s royal hoof. “Of course.” Sage said with a short dismissive laugh. “Quite the bunch of criminals in here.” She joked. The guard nodded with a smile and held up a clipboard, looking between each of them and back at the paper. Leaning over the table slightly to catch sight of the sleeping twins before she began eyeballing me oddly as I peeked out from underneath the blanket. Sage leaned over and placed a hoof on me. “It’s okay, pumpkin; she’s here to make sure we’re all safe.” “Nobody here.” I responded in a meek attempt at survival. All three adults furrowed their brows with curious looks as Sage gently rubbed where she assumed my head was. “Just show the nice mare your face, and she’ll be right out, I promise.” I shivered as I slowly pulled the blanket off myself. I immediately began scanning my surroundings for a possible escape route, my eyes darting around like a villain who’d just been unmasked, even though I knew it was a completely helpless notion. She was a unicorn, able to stop me from running with her magic with only a small bit of effort. The mare initially smiled at me. “Don’t worry, honey,” she remarked, looking down at the page. Her brow slowly furrowed as she looked back up at me curiously with a hum, then back down, then up again. She continued like this for an agonizing few seconds, as even Sage and Heath began to tilt their heads. It was clear now that she was comparing me with some sort of description or.. photo of me? I don’t remember anybody taking my picture! That’s it; I’m done for… I’m cooked! She’s totally going to find me out and restrain me! Her eyes finally settled on me as she squinted deeply, leaning slightly forward as the uncomfortable silence grew and my nerves peaked. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but to me, it felt like an entire hour of pressure. Suddenly her horn lit up, and I flinched away, pulling the blanket over myself in panic with an unintended squeak. I heard her mark something on the clipboard in front of her and dared to peek out as she levitated a quill next to her. “Your hair is absolutely adorable. It reminds me of my sister.” The guard remarked at me with a smile as she tucked the clipboard away. “Well, sorry for the inconvenience, folks. That’ll be all.” She bowed her head and exited, closing our door with her magic as her footsteps got farther away. I felt the adrenaline in my chest wash away as my heavy, labored breathing and heart rate slowed. I continued to stare at the door in fear, like I’d just seen a monster. That had been way too close for comfort. I could just barely see Sage’s worried gaze on me afterward, but she stayed silent. I reached forward with both hooves and forced the glass of water between them. I didn’t care how dumb it looked; I needed a drink of water. I sighed greatly as I clumsily managed the cup up to my lips and practically drank the whole thing. Afterwards, I lowered it carefully and wiped my face. When I looked back up, Sage and Heath were unabashedly staring at me with extreme scrutiny. I looked between them with a red face and huffed, “What?” Heath was the first to shake himself free from the stupor. “Would ya like another glass, Ashy? You seemed mighty thirsty.” I held a hoof up, “I’m okay.” I said before beginning to wrap myself in the cocoon that was the blanket. Sage sighed, leaned her head onto her hoof, and gave me an uneven stare of disapproval. “You keep saying that, Pumpkin. But ever since those guards showed up, you’ve been acting awfully erratic.” She sighed as my panic slowly began to return. “If there’s anything you want to talk about-” “The restroom!” I said suddenly, a bit louder than intended, “I just need the restroom; I’ve been holding it in for too long.” Sage squinted her eyes as she and Heath shared a conflicted look, but after a second, Sage stood from the seat and gestured towards the door. “Well, you should’ve just said so, dear.” “Thanks!” I said hastily, jumping down from the seat. “Do you need help?” Sage offered. My face turned bright red. “Nope! I’ll be just fine!” I only realized I’d been dragging the blanket with me when Sage gingerly plucked it off my back as I walked by her. Her gaze followed me all the way, until I was out of sight. I walked down the aisle with haste, reaching the back of the train car and immediately knocking before entering the foals restroom. Once I was inside, I pushed with my hooves clumsily until the door finally locked. And when it did, I practically collapsed with my back against the door. I expected that with my newfound seclusion, my panic would calm, but it didn’t. I quickly took care of business, as I hadn’t been entirely lying about needing the restroom. Afterwards, I walked over to the foal-sized sink and pushed the lever until it started spraying cool water. I washed my hooves, and as I did so, I couldn’t help my thoughts wandering even more. Maybe I did deserve the Canterlot dungeons? How many people had I injured? How many lives were ruined specifically because of me? Dozens? Hundreds? Was I now some awful villain, the likes of Discord, Sombra, or even the Changeling Queen, who had nearly conquered an entire empire with her army? It wouldn’t be far off to consider me just as destructive. I looked down at my hooves as the water pooled around them, my eyes turning in dizzying circles. I swiftly splashed as much of it up towards my face as possible as I rubbed over and over. Eventually I stopped, as it wasn’t slowing my ever-racing heart rate. I looked up at myself in the mirror; the small, dimly lit room made my features hard to recognize, but… It didn’t really matter. I saw the small shape of the gray filly in the mirror start to twist and morph into a black mass that seemed all-encompassing. And at the center of it was me, my face twisting into a dark, evil grin. I yelped as I fell backward, knocking the trash can next to me over in the process. Both the shadow in the mirror and my evil-looking self started to laugh, even as they twisted and morphed around and around. Which was probably due to the dizzying spin that my vision was making. Maybe I had no right to be mad at Flurry; maybe this was all my fault? After all, I could have just not been stupid and not trusted anyone in the first place, right? Maybe if I had just gotten the hint and left earlier, none of this would’ve happened. Or if I'd died in some back alley or ditch somewhere, nobody would miss me, and nobody would be hurt because of me. ... My heart rate continued to skyrocket as my breathing came in gasping, choked breaths. The laughter from my form in the mirror became deafening as the room felt like it was spinning a hundred miles a minute. I looked down at my hooves, specifically at the one that had been injured, as tears brimmed my eyes. Don’t cry; you don’t deserve to, Kieran. This is all your fault. All of that pain and heartache I caused them, and this cut was the only punishment I got in return? It had to be a joke; I didn’t deserve to be walking free right now. I’m just a monster. ... ... ... “Ashy?” The dimly lit room became illuminated as the door behind me opened a crack. Sage carefully poked her head in, looking at me with intense worry. I completely lost myself as I realized how stupid I looked, half-laying on the ground. And I released a half-hearted chuckle as my breath and heart stopped. “C-Can I help you?” Sage looked down at me sympathetically, taking a step inside and turning the water off just before it could overflow. I looked back at the mirror, and the images were gone, just replaced with Sage and a deranged-looking, soaked filly on the bathroom floor. I don’t know why, but I started laughing. There was no actual joy behind the action, but it felt sort of ironic in an insulting sort of way. I felt like I had to laugh. The edges of Sage’s mouth turned farther down than I’d seen before, as she blocked my view of the mirror and began wiping my face with a towel she found. I let her finish as she brought the towel away from my face. She nearly whispered her next words, “Are you really alright, Ashy..?” She asked the question again. I simply put on a fake smile, even though the rest of my face betrayed the action. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Sage sighed and simply clicked her tongue as she threw the used towel to the side. In one swift and gentle action, she scooped me up in the blanket I’d been resigning myself to and cradled me to her chest as she exited the bathroom. If I’d wanted to argue with her, I didn't have the energy left to do so. The images in the bathroom were haunting my mind now, with the same laughter echoing in my ears again and again. It only seemed to halt for brief moments when Sage’s soft voice cut through the chaos: “Shh, sleep, Ashy. It’ll be okay.” I hadn’t realized I was making any noise that needed to be shushed, but… I couldn’t figure a lot of things out right now. I know we re-entered our cabin at some point, but my mind was too lost within itself for me to register anything afterward. As Sage returned to the cabin holding Kieran, Heath’s eyes widened like saucer plates. Sage quickly shot him a look of ‘Be quiet!’ before he could say anything. Sage gingerly sat down in the seat across, still holding the bundled-up foal close to her chest. Kieran seemed completely unaware of his surroundings by that point, and Sage dared to begin rocking him back and forth in a soothing gesture as she rubbed his back in circles. It wasn’t long before the estranged foal fell into some sort of slumber. Though Sage wondered if whatever was wrong would haunt him into their dreams, she continued to rock him gently anyway. Heath dared open his mouth finally, having observed the entire scene with a bewildered face. “What happened? Is she alright?” Sage looked up wearily, waiting to see if his voice would stir the foal, and when it didn't, she whispered back, “I haven’t got a clue. I followed her just in case and heard her yelp inside. When I entered, she was staring at the mirror in terror. I felt so bad for her... It looked like she was having a panic attack, and an awful one at that.” Heath looked sympathetically back as his shoulders sagged. “I wonder what got ‘er so worked up?” Sage just shook her head and looked back down at the troubled face of the foal. “She started laughing, and her face was disturbing. Like she was terrified but didn’t know if she was allowed to be.” Sage shook her head and sighed again deeply, beginning to rub the foal’s back soothingly again. Heath hummed as he placed a hoof to his chin. “Maybe she got some sort ah side effect? Y’know, from the medicine?” Sage pursed her lips and tilted her head. “Maybe. But it all started when she saw those guards outside. For whatever reason, it really sent her over the edge.” Heath raised a brow and smirked slightly. “Maybe Ashy really is the culprit on the run, eh?” Sage glared at him sharply, “Dear…” “Right, ahm sorry.” He replied back swiftly as he bowed his head. The foals stirred by Heath’s side, making him wince a bit as he finally decided to resort to whispering like his wife. “Ah mean, we don’t know much about her.” Sage nodded. “And she was hiding that large cut as well; doesn’t that seem strange?” Sage said with her voice laced with unsureness. Heath quickly nodded. “Ah don’t know if I believe she didn’t know it was there. She had to be mighty distracted to miss somethin’ that bad.” “Right?” Sage replied with a huff as she clicked her tongue again, looking down at the foal fearfully. “And she doesn’t like being touched or getting help. She’s very quiet and doesn’t like talking about herself.” "Now, honey,” Heath began, “let’s not jump to conclusions.” Sage shook her head. “She’s traveling alone while all of this goes on. If we hadn’t been here, she’d quite literally be dead by now.” Sage put her free hoof up to her forehead, “I’d be rather stupid not to jump to conclusions right now.” Sage gritted her teeth and huffed, “If I get a chance to talk to her parents, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind. Foals shouldn’t be allowed to travel alone.” Heath gently slid himself off his bench, walking over to his wife’s bench and sliding in as she accommodated his entrance. “Maybe what happened ‘n the empire combinin’ with the wound was just too much for her, and she broke down.” He said while placing a hoof gently against the foal’s forehead and pulling it back. Sage just slid further down in her seat, allowing the back of her head to make contact with the seat. “Hopefully she’ll open up a bit… I was all about respecting her space before all this happened.” “Mommy, are we there yet?” The small, tired voice of Rue echoed from the other seat, accompanied by a large yawn. “Not yet, sweetie. We’re about halfway; go back to sleep.” She told him gently over the table. He yawned again. “Okay mommy.” Before passing right out with a thunk as his head hit the seat, as if he’d never been awake at all. Heath and Sage shared a short laugh with each other. Which slowly died down into a quiet and comforting silence as all the foals slept soundly. Sage leisurely lowered her head onto Heath’s shoulder as Heath softly nuzzled the top of her head. Sage couldn’t help but hum curiously, “What have we gotten ourselves into?”