The next morning, I spent most of my early day in my head. The story Luna had told me was… dark. The idea of her turning into a physical manifestation of all of her pent-up emotions was a terrifying idea. For one thousand years, she was just sitting up on the moon, biding her time, and waiting for revenge. Nightmare Moon sounded more like a parasite in her mind than anything; I couldn’t ever imagine Luna doing something like that of her own free will.
“What’s on your mind, honey?” Cadance asked from behind me as she brushed my mane and styled it the same as Flitter had.
I glanced up. “Oh, nothing…”
She raised a brow but didn’t pry any further and only began to hum while she worked on my mane. After a few minutes, she stopped and said, “Okay! There we go.” She leaned in while nuzzling the side of my face. “What do you think?”
I looked at the mirror; it was nearly the same as Flitter’s style, a few touches different, but it was very well done. I smiled gratefully, “Much better!” I said happily.
She giggled and kissed my cheek before standing back up. “I think Flurry is in her room right now, if you want to go play.”
I hummed and debated it: “Okay, I’ll see what she’s up to.”
“Alright.” She said with a nod, “You know where we’ll be; just come grab one of us if you need something, alright, sweetie?” I gave a firm nod and followed her out of their room. Cadance gave me a smile as she disappeared into their living room. Once she was out of sight, I opted to continue down the way towards Flurry’s room.
When I got to Flurry’s door, it was already cracked open. Nevertheless, I knocked on it as best as possible. And I quickly heard a distracted command, “Enter.”
I slowly pushed it open to see her looking in the other direction from atop her bed as she lay on her stomach. “Thank you for gracing me with your presence, your highness.” I said with a mock bow.
She smiled and huffed, glancing at me and sticking her tongue out before returning to her art book. I slowly approached as I watched her eyes dart about the page, a storm of drawing utensils hovering in and out of the page’s range as she drew one of the most detailed pictures of flowers I’d ever seen.
It was extremely impressive; no less than five different pens or pencils would be on the page at once, and it was impossible to keep up with. I was, again, a bit jealous of the dexterous nature of magic and its uncanny ability to make anybody into a one-man machine. “Wow,” I said quietly when there was a pause in her work. “It’s beautiful.”
She smiled and blushed as she almost considered hiding it before realizing the futility. “Th-Thanks.”
I sat down, admiring the ball of drawing tools hovering in her magic, ready to strike the page at a moment’s notice. “You’re really talented at drawing." I paused for a moment. “Unless you’re about to tell me this is a typical drawing level for a unicorn."
She glanced at me again with a tilted head, and I quickly bowed my head and clasped my hooves together above it in pleading, “Please don’t tell me that. I might cry.”
She laughed and shook her head. “It’s definitely not normal; even if you can float a pen, you can’t make the page look like art without practice.” She rested the book gently in between her hooves. “That being said, every time someone tells me that, I can’t help but question it. I don’t even have my cutiemark yet.” She said it with a tone of annoyance and a gesture towards her flank.
I shrugged. “Maybe that just means you’re even more talented at something else!” I suggested with a smile.
Her smile widened, and she nodded eagerly. “Maybe!” She said excitedly, “Oh!” She brought her book back up and quickly went back to work, clearly inspired by whatever thought had just occurred to her.
It was really now that I was wishing I had something to fill the gaps in my free time. Whether that be a hobby or simply the capacity to learn something like magic, being able to relax in this relatively dream-like world while bettering myself sounded quite fun!
But really, what were my options? My head fell to my hooves in thought, and eventually Flurry took stock of my silence. “You okay?” She asked with a brief halt.
I widened my eyes and looked back up to nod at her. “Oh, yeah. I think I’m going to go for now, though.”
She tilted her head. “Hang out with momma and daddy?"
I hummed and turned my back to her. “Something like that, I’m not sure…” I glanced back with a smile. “Keep at it, though! It looks great.”
She nodded and leisurely returned to drawing. It was clear that I was really a distraction for her at the moment anyway. Even if we could sit together in comfortable silence, my body wanted to go do something. Even though I had no clue what to do!
I took one step in the direction of the living room, where Cadance and Shining were, but then found my head turning in the other direction. Toward the door that led out into the greater bits of the castle. Surely a small little excursion by myself wouldn’t be an issue? And I wasn’t planning on leaving the castle either! I just needed to get my head straight about what Luna told me and about my own thoughts.
So, my hooves turned directions, and I continued down that hallway and, for once, outside the living quarters on my own. Walking the long hallways of the castle just sounded like something that might straighten my mind out. I don’t know why. I mean, every single king in every movie does that as a replacement for pacing idly, so surely it would work for me.
My legs didn’t carry me at a fast rate; the halls were long, especially for such a small body as mine. The guards on my way out had only given me a glance, until eventually I heard another set of hoofsteps behind me. I turned and raised a brow at the random guardspony. “Can I… help you?” I asked curiously.
Without breaking form, he replied calmly, “Here to service and accompany you, at your order.”
“You know I’m not Flurry, right?” I asked with a head tilt.
He nodded. “Princess Cadance’s orders are to treat you with the same respect as Flurry.”
I sighed. “Can I order you to… not follow me?”
He bowed his head. “I apologize; if you are to stay on castle premises, I could make an exception.”
I nodded, “I will… so… Please do, thank you.” The guard nodded and returned to his post swiftly.
‘Wow, that worked?’ I immediately thought in surprise as he left me. I shook my head to clear my mind of distractions and continued back on my way.
My thoughts fell back on Luna and, more importantly, what she was trying to convey by telling me that story. I was happy either way that she was willing to share something like that, though it did seem like public knowledge anyway, so I would’ve found out eventually. Maybe she assumed it would be better to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth.
Heh, that was the first horse pun I’d made since I got here…
I wasn’t one to judge Luna based on her past, with mine probably not quite as destructive but still… not great. So I guess her story could be interpreted as “keep your emotions in check,” but that didn’t really sound right.
She could’ve been using it as a lesson on humility. Speaking to others about your concerns instead of letting them reach a boiling point? That was something I was actually not terrible at; I’ve made it very clear since I first got to Equestria what my concerns were. Cadance, of course, dismissed them all with reason, and I found it nigh impossible to disagree with her. And Flurry was very good at convincing me of things I would often never do.
The likelihood is that Luna was just telling me a story with many elements, with all of the above concerns as a potential lesson.
The hallway didn’t feel like it was getting any shorter; I could see the door at the end, but each step was only a drop in the bucket. I was also walking as slowly as molasses, so I can only fault myself.
I finally raised my head to look at the wall next to me, and while there was the occasional door, they all seemed to be the same guest rooms from that one night. I nearly doubled over immediately in cringe at my own actions that night… I mean, really? Was I that clingy? I’m not clingy.
One door did catch my attention, a bit farther down the hallway than the guest rooms. It was about twice the size and had a double door. The entire door was lavished with a silver accent to the dark wood color. It also had a much larger sign overhead, comparatively. I picked up the pace a little.
When I finally got in front of the door, I gave it another look and nodded my head resolutely. This door was important. I looked at the sign again and tilted my head. Their language was like hieroglyphics to me. Some bits were just a bunch of lines crossing, dotting, and curving nonsensically. Much the same way Chinese or Japanese did, but it was a lot simpler. Then the other symbols would sometimes resemble an almost recognizable form, like some twisted version of the Greek alphabet.
I shrugged and stepped forward. If it wasn’t locked, then clearly they wouldn’t care about people getting in. So with my curiosity, I stepped forward and placed my hoof against it, expecting it to swing open grandly in my mere presence, I guess. But that’s not what happened.
No, this door was heavy…
I found myself with my shoulder and both hooves on the door, trying to dig my back legs into the slippery floor enough to get a grip. And after some heavy shoves, it began to open. A light shone back at me from inside, and I upped my effort a bit more until there was a large enough crack for me to slip into the area.
With my tongue lolling out of my mouth in concentration, I made a careful leap towards the crack in the door, a resolute creak echoing through the room as it shut firmly behind me. I dusted my hooves off proudly and took a look around.
It was a library…
Well, that was an insult to my efforts… I felt almost mocked by this universe, having been led into possibly the most useless room I could ever enter.
The room was big, though—genuinely large. Looking up, I could see at least a second story, with what seemed to be even larger than the base floor in size. The bottom floor had a cross-shaped pattern, with a red rug dividing the room into four corners. And each corner had two sets of four massive bookshelves.
In the center of the room was an assortment of desks, tables, and chairs meant for recreational use. With the very back of the room having a double staircase splitting halfway up to go in separate directions.
I didn’t even want to begin thinking about the size of the second floor. The room was already looming over my small form like a mountain with its insurmountable amount of literature. “Hello?” I called out, my voice echoing about four times. But there seemed to be not a single soul other than me amongst the tree graveyard.
I huffed greatly. “I’m out; too many hieroglyphics.” I said dejectedly, turning around and walking muzzle first into the giant door I just came through.
I put my hooves and my shoulder up against the door, and I realized one thing that turned this from an unfortunate sidetrack into a hostage situation. The door was only able to be pushed open one way.
I was not tall enough to reach the handles on the inside.
I certainly did not have enough grip strength to open it, even if I was.
With an almost unbelievable amount of shock, I sat back on my rump, staring at the door in realization. “Wow, I messed up.” I released a long groan, facehoofing with annoyance.
“Am I stupid or something?” I fell backwards onto my back and stared at what seemed to be a mile-long ceiling. “No, really, Kieran. Your intelligence is positively radiant.” I mocked.
I raised my hoof up and lamented my intellect: "Truly, your brain must lack the critical thinking skills required to operate a simple door.” I snorted a small giggle afterward.
I stood back up, and for about twenty minutes, I tried many times to stack books high enough for me to climb and reach the door handle, but I could barely even lift the books! It was a lost cause. I walked over to the center of the library and found a large pillow, falling onto my back with a large sigh.
I tilted my head while staring at the ceiling. It wasn’t game over; I wasn’t going to die in a library. Cadance would eventually find me after a lot of panicking. Maybe the library would even get some traffic, and I could ask for help.
Maybe I shouldn’t have turned away that guard from following me… But having some random guard following you was such a bore.
I sighed greatly once again. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I could read, but I couldn’t. Maybe if I found a picture book? A comic? Do they even have comics in Equestria? Oh no…
I really need to get some knowledge of this world thoroughly into my noggin before something goes wrong. Actually, getting stranded somewhere would be a death sentence for me right now.
I once again found myself pacing the library, but with no indication of which section of the library I was in, the whole thing was pointless. "Well, this problem only has one solution.” I said with a firm head nod.
"Alright, little ones, how about some dinner?” Cadance said with a happy hum as she opened Flurry’s door.
But the sight of a lone Flurry sitting in the corner playing video games made her head tilt. And it made Flurry’s head tilt even more at the pluralism of her words. “Kieran’s not in here, momma.”
Cadance was at a loss for words. “Oh, bathroom then?”
“Nuh uh,” Flurry shook her head again. “I haven’t seen him since this morning. I thought he was with you.”
Her brow furrowed with worry. “Then… did he tell you where he’d be going?”
Another shake of the head made a sudden rush of panic travel up Cadance’s spine. “That mother’s adrenaline is kicking in,” she whispered quietly to herself, falling to her rump in despair. “I can see every equation.”
“What was that?” Flurry asked with a head tilt.
“Nothing!” Cadance replied hurriedly as she exited the room.
….
It took Cadance and Shining a while to get on the right track, but eventually she was reminded by Silver of all ponies that she’d placed a tracking spell. Cadance followed the trace, a wisp of energy directly leading the two until they were at the library doors, where the trail led right through. “Oh no… I told you this heavy door would be a problem, Shining!”
Shining’s ears folded against his head slightly. “They didn’t tell me the door would be so heavy when we were constructing it; I just thought it would look cool.” He defended himself mildly.
Cadance quickened her steps and threw the doors open with her magic. “Kieran! Kieran!?” Cadance’s voice rang out in the library desperately with worry. The sun from outside was barely emitting a glow as it was becoming dusk.
Shining trailed behind her. “Are you sure he’s in here?”
Cadance nodded confusedly. “The tracking spell showed he was in here, but…”
She worriedly and hastily trotted into the center of the room, gazing in every direction possible. “Kieran, sweetie, where are you?”
A groan rang out, along with a questioning hum, “Huh? Is someone there?” She heard him call out from somewhere on the second floor. Cadance quickly spread her wings and flew up to the next floor. She was absolutely shocked to find what she did.
Kieran came running out of a foal-sized castle made entirely out of books. With the ruler wielded in his mouth, he lowered his two front hooves and growled into a defensive stance. “Who dares defile the land of lost trees and dreams!?” He shouted out.
Cadance froze in her tracks and tilted her head. “Kieran? Are you… Are you okay?”
An extra look showed that his fur looked disheveled, with small bits of paper sticking out of his back. There was a wild look in his eyes that spoke volumes about his sanity.
Shining reached forward with a hoof out of curiosity, only for it to be smacked away like a disciplined student by Kieran’s ruler. “He seems to have gone native.” Shining hummed with pursed lips and a hoof to his chin.
Cadance glanced over at him in surprise, bumping into him with her side scoldingly. “What if it’s serious?” She reprimanded him with a hushed hiss. before shaking her head and facing the foal. “Did you get stuck in here, sweetie?” Cadance asked softly, taking a few steps forward.
Kieran lowered the ruler from his mouth, dropping his weapon metaphorically guarding him. “State your purpose here, wench; these are sacred lands!” He continued, and she caught a small hint of a smile on his lips before he buried it.
Cadance finally realized his playful act and smiled with relief. Clearing her throat, she quickly joined in: “I’ve been searching for my foal. Some say he was banished to these sacred and lonely lands long ago. Would you happen to know somepony named Kieran?”
He gave a face of wonder, “Kieran? Ah yes, that name does ring a bell…” The foal sat in silence, humming confusedly before his epiphany. He clicked his tongue and said, “Aha! I remember him! He’s me!”
Cadance hunched lower to the ground in horror. “Oh my! You’ve grown so old!”
The foal fell to his stomach in defeat, hanging his head sadly. “How long has it been? Days? Weeks?” He whispered sadly, looking down at his hooves with a thousand-yard stare. “Has the world outside crumbled to dust?”
Shining approached carefully, a large smile on his lips. "Actually, it’s been about nine-”
“Nine years!?” The foal interrupted him with horror. “Dear gods…” he muttered.
“There’s more.” Shining began.
“No…” Kieran lamented even further, horrified at the implication of his words.
Shining wasn't able to hold his composure and started dying of laughter from behind her as Cadance levitated the foal up in front of her. Suppressing a giggle at his defeated look, “I’m so sorry, little one. We searched far and wide for you, but you were simply too lost.”
Kieran’s head rolled back. “Have you come to take me to the afterlife with you? I think I see the light.” He reached his hoof up towards the sky before dropping it unceremoniously, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.
Cadance couldn’t help it and released a bout of laughter. All of her panicked worry washed away in the wake of his acting. Eventually clearing her throat and trying to get her composure back, “N-No, ahem… we’re here to take you home. You’ve had a long journey, my little king.”
“So, so long…” He whispered gravely, “I still remember the faces of those I’ve lost, gone with the passing tide of time.” He held his face in his hooves dramatically.
Shining’s laughter finally died. “Did you really get stuck in here all day, buddy?”
Kieran perked right back up, forgoing the act and locking eyes with him. “Yeah, it was a very boring day.”
Cadance giggled and glanced up at the small castle of books. “It looks like you found your own way of entertaining yourself, though.” She tried to cheer him up. Then she gave him a scolding look of scrutiny. “That must've taken a lot of pulling and pushing with your hooves, hmm? The hooves you aren’t supposed to be using?”
Kieran huffed sadly, his ears folded against his head. "Sorry, Cadance,” he apologized honestly. “I was mostly using my mouth, though! I promise.”
Cadance couldn’t stay mad for even a second as she leaned in and nuzzled him heavily. “Oh, it’s okay, little one.” She paused for a minute and raised a brow at him. “Was there any particular reasoning behind the castle construction?”
He shrugged. “I was just looking for a picture book or comic, and every time I didn’t find one, it became part of my castle. I never found a comic either, so it was a big waste of time.” He said with an exasperated sigh.
Cadance hummed and nuzzled him. “Aww… I’m sorry, honey.”
Kieran giggled. “I didn’t make you worry too much, did I?”
Cadance smirked. “No, we knew how to find yo-”
“She was absolutely freaking out.” Shining interrupted her, much to Cadance’s dismay. “She was practically upturning the entire castle for the past few hours, until Silver Drift reminded her of that tracking spell Cadance put on you days ago.”
Cadance blushed defiantly and gave a sour face. “Yes, I might have been a bit… worried.” Kieran just laughed again and nestled into her chest fur. She happily reciprocated the affection.
Shining’s horn lit up, taking hold of every book. They all seemed to sort themselves out quite handily throughout the library. “No! My fortress of solitude!” Kieran lamented.
Shining just laughed and ruffled his head. “Gone with the tide of time, I’m afraid.”
Cadance rolled her eyes playfully and set Kieran on her back. “How about dinner? I’m sure you’re a starving little king.”
He nodded. "Yes, please…” There was a bit of silence as they began leaving the library.
And as if coming to Kieran like a sudden light in the dark, his eyes suddenly lit up with the sudden promise of purpose. Something to fulfill his time and allow him to occupy himself and feel productive in a way he hadn’t since he first arrived. Kieran eventually cleared his throat, "Um, Cadance.”
“Yes sweetie?” She asked sweetly, glancing an eye at him.
“Can you teach me how to read? Like… soon? I really want to learn..."
A large smile spread on Cadance’s muzzle and a warm feeling in her heart. “Would you like to start tomorrow?”
“Yes!” He said ecstatically. And she giggled when she felt him happily tiptoe dance between his hooves excitedly.
“I can’t believe you got stuck all day.” Flurry said a bit mockingly, ducking away from Kieran’s advances by climbing up Cadance’s back even further.
Kieran huffed with a scowl as he swiped up at her leg, draped halfway over Cadance’s back, trying to catch her. “Because I didn’t get stuck, I was admiring the architecture!” He growled.
“Yeah right!” Flurry giggled and pointed down at him. “I got to play games all day while you sat there and built a castle!"
Kieran smirked. “You sound jealous of my superior creative skills!”
Cadance and Shining glanced at each other with raised eyebrows and suppressed laughter.
Flurry huffed and held her head high. “They’re my creative skills, actually; that’s my body you’re in.”
He shook his head and said, “My brain, my creative skills.”
“At least I can read!” She countered suddenly.
He groaned. “Cadance is going to teach me.”
“Okay, Flurry, that was rude.” Cadance scolded her, lowering her head so the filly rolled down onto the carpet below.
“Momma!” She whined slightly, lying on her back in front of the fireplace.
Cadance shook her head sternly with raised brows. "No, apologize to Kieran right now for that.”
She sighed as she got to her hooves, her horn glowing slightly. She did seem rather apologetic. “Okay…I’m sorry… And you better learn perfectly and be the quickest learner ever. Or else!”
Shining shook his head. “I don’t know if that’s good enough to teach my filly not to be a bully,” he continued. “Kieran, I give you permission to get your payback."
“Hey!” Flurry protested as Shining held her up from behind, as if posing as a dejected cat, as Flurry attempted not to laugh. Kieran and Shining shared an untold smirk of mischief.
Kieran quickly hopped down from Cadance’s back, “Gladly!” He said so happily, angling himself and jumping to perform a perfect tackle. The two foals rolled across the floor, their fight quickly turning into giggles as the two got tangled up on each other.
Cadance and Shining leaned against each other comfortably, happily taking in the rivalry between the two foals. Yet the serene moment was interrupted as the door to their home opened. The two adults swiveled their heads to meet the entrance of Silver Drift, which was a rare sight since she usually would have left by then.
“My Princess, forgive my interruption, but may I speak with you?” She said with a deep bow.
“Me?” Flurry asked excitedly, her head popping out of the ball of tangled foals.
Cadance laughed softly, “No dear,” She stood, approaching the guardsmare. “Of course, Silver Drift. Follow me.”
Cadance led the mare to a small room with a few comfortable pillows to sit on and a table in the center. Cadance sat at the long end as Silver placed herself on the opposite side. “Would you like some tea?”
Silver shook her head. "No, thank you. I apologize, but I don’t intend to be here for too long.”
Cadance nodded respectfully. “Of course. What did you wish to discuss?”
“My Princess, it’s about Kieran.” Silver Drift said with a sigh. Cadance tensed, though she didn’t really understand why. Her body language adopted a much more attentive stance.
Silver Drift saw the look of intrigue and continued with a sigh, “I know I might be outstepping my boundaries, and I apologize if so.”
Cadance shook her head quickly. “No, please, go on. You’ve been with us for so long; I trust your word.”
Silver Drift nodded a faint smile on her regularly hardened features and said, “Well, Princess, you know I’ve had a few foals in my lifetime.” Cadance nodded to indicate she was listening. Silver seemed to be having trouble starting. Clearing her throat, she continued, “I hate to… say this… but I worry for Kieran. Especially after today’s incident.”
Cadance tensed more and hung her head slightly in shame. “I… understand. I feel just as embarrassed and ashamed as you’d imagine. Even more so that you had to remind me of the tracking spell.”
Silver shook her head and said, “No, no Princess. I didn't mean to tell you this insultingly, but more so to help you out.” Cadance tilted her head, and Silver locked eyes with her. “I know you don’t want to hear this, my princess, but Kieran… The care for him is very similar to that of a handicapped foal.”
Cadance’s mouth opened in shock, and she stuttered in her own breath for a minute in disbelief. “I… I don’t know, Silver…”
Silver sighed at the shock on her face. “Cadance, dear, he can’t even feed himself properly. The poor foal can’t hold things much; he can’t fly; he can’t use magic… He can barely walk after he uses his hooves to grab things; you know more than anybody the struggles he is used to.”
Cadance thought back to the times before she fully understood it—the many times he’d trip on his own hooves if he’d been using them much at all. And his grip was weak for a foal his age. Cadance winced a bit before Silver continued.
“Not to mention his mental state being rather unstable." Silver sighed sadly. “I know you love him, and you want to show him freedom, but I think he’s more reliant on others than you realize, Princess. He’s a very frail foal-” Cadance’s hoof came down on the table, causing Silver to stop speaking abruptly. Though Silver didn’t jump at the action, it only softened her look.
Cadance hid her face; her voice spoke volumes for her emotions, though: “We’re trying… But despite all my power, I’m not good enough at magic on my own to help him, Silver.” Her voice shuddered. “Kieran is strong; he just doesn’t have the body to support it yet. I can’t just cage him up like some animal.” She groaned angrily at herself as she held her head in her hooves.
Cadance felt a hoof on her back and looked over surprisingly to see Silver Drift with her helmet off, the old guardsmare offering her sympathy. “I’m sorry, Princess; I did not mean to hurt you.”
Cadance wiped her eyes and shook her head. “N-No, forgive me; I lost control of my emotions.”
Silver moved her hoof to Cadance’s front leg and said, “When it comes to your foals, you would do anything. I know that feeling, I’ve had it many times before. What I did not mean by approaching you with this was for you to feel like you aren’t doing enough. I know how much you’re doing, Princess.”
Cadance breathed deeply. “Did you have a suggestion of sorts?” She asked curiously.
She nodded. “A personal guard. As you did by entrusting Flurry to my service, you should do the same for Kieran. You, Sir Shining, and Flurry can’t always be around him, and I worry about my ability to be entrusted with two alicorn foals.” She sighed. “It won’t give him all the things the poor foal lacks, but a guard he can trust, an impartial ally, I suppose.”
Cadance’s eyes widened, and she quickly hummed with curiosity, “That’s… a great idea. I agree.” She held a hoof to her muzzle in thought.
Silver nodded with a large smile. “That’s great. I know of quite a few experienced and well-acquainted guards that you could choose from.”
“I’ve already got one in mind,” Cadance replied, a smile growing on her lips.
Silver looked surprised but quickly nodded. “Just say the word, and I can have the transfer started and all the official nonsense. Though it may take a while to get it all processed.”
Cadance smiled. “That’s fine; I will be waiting until after Hearth’s Warming to allow them time with their families.
Silver Drift stood back and saluted, “Of course, Princes. I will fulfill your request as soon as the holidays are over. You have my word.”
Cadance stood from her spot and faced the mare, saying, “Thank you, Silver.” She hummed, “Are you sure there’s nowhere you’d like to go for Hearth’s Warming either?”
Silver bowed her head. “My family lives in your empire, my lady; I will be with them precisely when I’m no longer needed on Hearth’s Warming Day.”
Cadance nodded as she began exiting the room. “Oh, don’t worry too much; the foals will be too busy opening presents to get caught up elsewhere.” Cadance opened the door and turned back. “Get some rest now, Silver.”
She bowed deeply and said, “I will, Princess.”
I sat in deep contempt within the shallow, warm water of the bathtub, even as Flurry lathered my mane until I was a big, bubbly mess.
Cadance laughed from above. “Honey, are you trying to color him white like Shining with all those bubbles?”
Flurry giggled as she put the finishing touches on my coat. “I’m turning him into an art piece!”
I slowly turned my head to her in dramatic fashion and asked, “Why must you desecrate me further?”
She fell backwards in a giggling fit. Cadance laughed quietly as she dumped water over me, only furthering my sour expression even more. She hurried the pace as best she could, pooling the water off of us with her magic and bringing both of us out of the tub and into our own respective towels.
Flurry was still dying in laughter, which only amplified when she saw my super-puffed-out coat and hair with my still-sour expression. Cadance hummed a song as she brushed our hair back down so that it wasn’t crazy, carried us outside, and set us gently into her bed. “Hmm, what would my little ones like tonight?” She placed a hoof to her chin in thought, though she was clearly asking us to make a decision: “A bedtime story? A song? Another bath?”
“No!” I whined immediately, hiding under the covers.
Cadance giggled and leaned over the bed to kiss the part of my head that wasn’t hidden. “Too far? I’m sorry.” She calmed her laughter. “Well, what do you little ones want?”
Flurry giggled more, exclaiming excitedly, “More momma cuddles!”
Cadance raised her brow, “More? How would I go about that?” She seemed to act stumped for a minute before climbing onto Flurry’s bed and causing her to laugh wildly. I couldn’t help but laugh either as she settled in between the two of us like some oversized dog.
“What a comfy bed!” Cadance said, pretending to yawn and lay her head down. She fake snored as her two forelegs reached out and grabbed me and Flurry, pulling us towards her like oversized stuffed animals.
Flurry squealed and struggled in her grip while she giggled wildly. I actually found it quite comfortable and was pretty tired, so I allowed her to keep me close to her chest without struggle. Cadance hummed confusedly as she pretended to wake as she stared at Flurry. “Now why are you so squirmy, miss? Kieran is already falling asleep!”
Flurry shook her head. “Then take Kieran only!” she giggled mischievously.
Cadance tilted her head. “Oh? This must not be my bed!” She crawled off, releasing Flurry and still holding me to her chest. “I’ll take this plushie to bed with me then.” She said, hugging me gently.
Flurry got out from under the covers and stood defiantly. “No! He’s mine!” She said with a giggle.
Shining entered through the door and sighed with a bit of laughter. “Honey, are you bringing their energy back up again?”
Cadance turned and laughed. “Quite the opposite, trying to settle this one down.” She said, gesturing to the wild-eyed Flurry.
Shining passed her with a chuckle. “Hold on, I’ve got this.”
Cadance nodded and glanced down at me. “You look comfy,” she giggled.
I nodded slightly and buried my face farther into her chest fur. She only smiled and looked up at the other two. “I’ll be taking this one to bed with us then.”
Flurry fell to her stomach and protested playfully, “No~!”
Shining got up on her bed and nuzzled her relentlessly. “There’s nothing you can do about it, little pony! Muhaha!” He growled with a menacing laugh.
Cadance laughed softly as she exited the room, taking me with her to bed that night. She settled into her own room, turning the lights off with magic before pulling back the covers and cozying into it.
She pulled the covers over us and continued to hold me close as she brushed my hair back soothingly. "Goodnight, little one, I love you.”
My mind was preoccupied with nearly attempting sleep, and my thoughts were buzzing. So when I leisurely replied back, it was nearly on auto-pilot. I wasn’t thinking very much. “I like… mom…ma.. cuddles...”
I didn’t hear another thing that night, but I did feel her hold on me become much tighter. And the faintest hint of something wet dripping onto my head, but it was quickly brushed away by Cadance’s soothing nuzzles.
ayy it's a TF2 Expiration Date Reference
Rest in Pieces Rick May
Good chapter over all.
Kieran having special needs, I suppose that's one of the kinder ways to put it.
Cadance having someone in mind for Kieran's personal guad, three guesses who. XD
And that exchange at the very end there doesn't help...
You must keep yourself in check. Emotion is something we all have, and it isn't healthy to bottle them up. That said, being too liberal with them isn't healthy either.
Great chapter as always ,can't wait for the next one. Out of curiosity will you ever continue your stories on Fanfiction?
You always manage to get a tear or two out of me almost every chapter. That last bit with the momma cuddles got me. I look forward to Hearth's Warming for them and the new personal guard for Kieran.
Great chapter, it made me smile and laugh to the point of crying . Definitely worth the wait.
11800959
Somewhere, the CMCs ears are burning.
If he wants a hobby or a way to improve himself, id probably start with learning to read and write the pony language. Once that's done he could learn anything! Geography, history, really get to learn what kind of creatures and places are in his new world
YES
AWWWWWWWWWWW ;-; MY HEART 💜
Awww man I thought it was going to be the throne room but I guess that can be more fun.
3:41
11801373
i.postimg.cc/sXcCB8GW/58582c01f034562c582205ff.png
11801373
Hey mate, I thoroughly enjoyed reading what's been written as well. Not all writers are plot focused, some like world building, others enjoy making a well rounded out character. Not all story writers are the same. If the story isn't for you than it just isn't for you. Who are you to question why someone else likes an author's work. I enjoy the story, others enjoy the story. You don't, that's cool too. No one is going to grill you on it or try to tell you otherwise.
Just show a little respect.
It's good to see a story every once in a while where a writer takes the time to show the progression of a character truly coming out of there shell and figuring things out. I honestly think (and I'm guilty of this) alot of writers forget that changes in one's character takes a long time in both real life an in fiction. As one of those that takes the time for us to learn the character and see them grow, I look forward to looking back on the earlier chapters to see just how much the character has/will change as the story goes.
This was a great chapter Flygon. I look forward to more, respect.
Hmmmm, no comparisons with some of Twilight's book structures??
Ah, good ol TF2 references.... RIP Rick May
Well, you got trapped in the perfect place to improve your intelligence... you just need to decipher the laungage
Indeed... now if were a stack dynamite, where would I hide myself in a library?
I guess building a kingdom works too... still want that dynamite though
11800968
Uh... maybe Fate Decides and Shape Changer at some point. But I'll confirm for you right now that Emereri and Broken Peace are dead in the water.
11802106
1. Yes, MC is being edgy 100%. And if I were to show the backstory first, there would be the exact same complaint from the other perspective. But really, when you've only read the prologue and chapter 1, I think being confused by a lack of backstory at that point is a bit much? A reader can infer many things about his past already based on the way he is acting.
2. I don't know whether to be flattered or confused about why you are comparing my silly found-family-wholesome story to goddamn LORD OF THE RINGS. I ain't trying to compete with the storytelling of something like that! Does there really have to be this long-winded, extremely intricate reason for ponies aging slower? No. I wanted him to be the same age as Flurry, so I made ponies age slower, simple as that.
I hate this idea that every single little detail needs to be explained to the reader in fantastical fashion. It's already a fantasy world; let your imagination breathe a little, y'know? Water is wet because it makes your body wet when you touch it. Why get analytical about why water makes you wet and what importance it may have on a story? LoTR age matters a lot more in a contextual story sense because there's a large cast of different races interacting with each other. My story hasn't introduced other races for the age thing to matter beyond how it makes Kieran interpret his new situation.
But overall, your opinions are valid. I've heard every complaint under the sun about this story already, at least a couple dozen times. You're far from the first to complain about the age thing. And one of the few who didn't insult me over it! So thanks for that!
11801357
And since I'm defending my story from someone else, I figure I might as well give you an ACTUAL response instead of a meme that represents my honest reaction to your upset ramblings.
And my response is that you're just another case of someone who didn't read the fine print of the story description and came in expecting some all-encompassing badass of a main character. And when you realized it was just a broken kid, you expected him to somehow heal from his trauma instantly. But this isn't a story most people can self-project themselves into, and people like to blame me for making a character with actual flaws that don't get solved in a day.
Also, you are WAY overblowing things in a downright COMICAL manner. Kieran being upset and feeling betrayed does not mean that, as a character, he is a "suicidal, miserable, psychological dumpster fire." I'm sorry (but not really) that the only way to hold your interest is to have Kieran do a little jig and manically proclaim to the heavens that his depression is cured suddenly and without reason before going on a slaughterfest of an indigenous race of Equestria.
Also, you stopped reading the literal chapter RIGHT before he had a big turning point towards being much more confident and happy! Quite unfortunate, honestly, though I doubt you'd have liked the story anyway.
MFers when they read a slow-burn, slice-of-life family story and tell me there isn't enough plot...
Just finished reading all the chapters currently out and I gotta say, I love the story so far, it's a little heavy in the start but it pretty soon winds down into a sort of comfortable, cozy tale of healing, found family and, of course, goofiness galore.
I have a feeling who's gonna be the new personal guard, and I certainly do hope they'll be up to partaking in the silliness at times~
That's a relief from me. Even if it takes a long time for you to update them I can wait. Even though I enjoyed "Emereri" and "Broken peace", I enjoyed "Fate decides" and "Shape changer" more, so you focusing on these 2 and the stories here on fimfiction is the best I can hope for.
11802365
I can't lie. I hate Discord. You can't just get help from him. He always has to be an ass about it. I just don't think Kieran needs to put up with his bullshit.
11802478
I'm pretty sure I gave the reasoning in one of the chapters..? I guess I could've made it more clear, but yeah he has always been human in the dreamscape. He doesn't mentally identify as Flurry, therefore he takes on his human form in Luna's dreamscape.
Edit: Oh, yeah I guess I could see that being confusing. Considering he talks to himself between both forms before waking up and I didn't outright state he was human again.
11802106
Hurmm. Now keep in mind that you saw me put on my ass kicking boots when I gave my opinion of the story. But, I do have to say that I disagree with your two points. The fact that the MC does try to leave and that he is uncooperative, is what kept me interested. Its also the closest thing to a plot that this story has. There is no kidnappers, no external threats, no midget thieves that need to be stopped. Nothing other than the fact the kid wants nothing to do with those ponies. And unlike the story "Ascension, Abdication, or Abduction? by RoshiRat, this character actually has a reason to dislike them, while RoshiRats character is just pointless edgelord.
Now the pony age thing is not just this Authors idea. Its used in many stories on the site, and while not common place, its not rare either. Its usually used to explain why an adult human is reincarnated as a child in pony form. While I don't see the point myself, I don't have an issue with it. Besides, its not only the ponies lifespans that get messed with in stories here. In the "Your Human And You" universe of books here the native humans only live to 14 or 15. Making the displaced humans longer 50 to 70 years a stand out feature. (And no, humans do not live to 100 years and I really wish people would stop saying it like its some true fact. Average human male. 50-70. Average human female. 60-80's. Those like my grandmother who pass those ages are EXTREMELY rare.)
I don't feel this stories bad, I just want the Author to get off his lounger and actually move the story forward.
Monk
"not only was love blind but it must have some severe mental disorders too." -Recteik Shade
11802147
That's 'cause his reaction and aversion to Cadance and her offer to live with them are already inching towards hostile despite it being so early. The general rule is that you give a bit of hint or foreshadow for whatever is going to happen, and hundreds of stories before this one have followed that rule. We never really got any, just him being plopped into the Crystal Empire and showing how he's a poor orphan in the snow.
Since you spent 4 chapters showing him cold, frail, and nigh helpless for nearly a month, then proceeded to straight up corner the MC into a confrontation where he rejects kindness without apparent reason, it feels irrational given what has been show upto that point, and he comes off as more annoying and ungrateful than relatable or truly sympathetic. Even with the angle of death, reincarnation, and his distrust for a 2nd chance (which has been recycled ad nauseam given the number of HiE stories published), you didn't hash out the nuance of that motivation enough or set up adequate hints or even tiny ones to reap the emotional pay off in a way that feels earned. He just runs away from the get go and imagines negative consequences over nothing.
It may just be the start, but it feels like the story up to chapter 3 is fishing for pity.
And I brought up LotR because age is something that should be invisible like background radiation, one of many details in the intricate web of world-building. Stuff like that isn't really seen, but felt, built up, and earned in nuances all throughout a story. In LotR, the ages are just mentioned in passing because there are various races, and for those who don't read further into it thru the appendices or Tolkein's letters, the differing age scales and points of maturity are left to the imagination. That is the magic in this scene in the extended edition.
Yet when you utilize the age difference, you bring it up because MC was a former human, then immediately used it to make him look foolish and childish in front of a savior figure. Which is frankly mean and cruel to do, even to your own character. And if he is supposed to be reincarnated as a child, why bother readjusting the age scale at all? Fantasy, yeah? You can easily apply that logic to him alone and put him in the body of a 6-7 y.o. filly. Even in LotR, there were still men who aged like us. Using the fantasy angle as a monkey wrench is much easier to justify for one character, but applying it to the entire world instead means the logic of the realm is inherently different.
The best details, logic, & nuances aren't explained or spelt out; they are felt and are the stuff that keep readers immersed. And just like the dozen or so stories before yours, they bring up the age difference but it never pops up again; an extra step that accomplished the same thing but didn't make much of an impact. The underlying context of things like age, racism, relationships, & power networks are invisible yet matter in ways that cannot be immediately addressed or explained. If you won't explore the context of the age difference even though you brought it up, only to leave it as some trivia for MC to interpret, then that makes it a superfluous and fickle contrivance, something that rings hollow all the way to the end. This means it was pointless to adjust their age scale in this way at all, since it's all gonna be the same (a different normal) and was never the point.
And if I may wade into that minefield, because the whole conversation got me piqued...
I read the whole thing from his first comment to your exchange with him in chapter 3, and the flak he got indicates you and a bunch of others might have just overreacted. Sure, the dude was snide, but those comments of his really were just observations and a few conjectures. Blunt and crass, but still plain observations. I implore you, read them again calmly.
His whole gag was RP'ing as a robot which was kinda funny, and judging by the upvotes he got early on and your initial cordial replies to him, I thought you understood that. He really was committing to that bit from the beginning. But when he did start digging into the weeds in chapter 3, he got dogpiled for questioning you, which is pretty authoritarian in the literary sense. And then, you threaten to censor any future comments from him, which is not a good look.
The fact he was still getting upvotes even then means he still made good points in spite of his offputing robot RP. And he did call you out, but nothing about his latter replies were exceedingly inflammatory or putting you on the hot seat. He did use a several negative words, but they were in line with plain observations. Honestly, it seemed like you (and the conga line) misconstrued it and took it as an attack.
Again, he was snide and somewhat snarky about it too, but not insulting and certainly not hateful. I agree, he kinda took the obnoxious robot RP too far, but consider this;
One reader was thinking about the inner workings, the weeds, the world and logic of your story, more so than a thousand others. This early into the story, he wanted to make sense and understand it as much as you--possibly more than you, considering the amount of thinking and bases he covered then.
And as much as you touted this as a fluffy side project in the A/N's, it's pretty ungraceful of you to shoot back at someone who was interested in your story and engaging with it, then accuse them of insults and hate. I'm still going to read on, both to see if the story gets better and if he stuck around. But if nothing else, you may have singled out and railed on one of the few people who was genuinely invested in your story beyond the casual 'excellent chapter' or 'amazing as always.'
He even gave it a little quirky and favorable rating early on.
11602247
If you got to this point and think what I said was all hoohaa anyhow, well that's fine too.
That huge af digress aside, I also still genuinely look forward to the rest of your story.
Maybe once I'll remember to review a chapter after I read itThis was really cute, just some small shennigans, but none of us missed that "mom" at the end :D
Can't wait for the Hearth's Warming chapter, might be some big changes there! Good luck, mate!
11802147
If I didn't like the story, I would not have made my comments. I simply pointed out that the character is stagnant and the story is going in circles. "The kid gets angry, Shining Cadence get worried about him, the kid pushes them away, Then repeat step one." After 11 chapters, its not unreasonable to ask the Author to consider moving along a bit.
Now the Midget thieves suggestion. I was thinking of the other Flurryheart story, "A Flurry of Problems by MelodyMori" That story while also a family, slice of life, also has some action adventure aspects. But if you want to keep to an extremely interpersonal story like "Past Sins by Pen Stroke", then you still need to do something with the character. Take the MC to Canterlot where he has to interact with cultural differences. Introduce a displeased or suspicious Celeastia. (Not Luna, thats overdone.) Take him to Ponyville, there are dozens of legitimate reasons to do that. Moving the plot along doesn't have to be James Bond or John Wick. Just like Pen Strokes story, "Past Sins". It can be low key.
This is not 4chan, (Thank God) Just because someone makes a point or two about your story, does not mean they hate and despise you or your story. And yes, even when using the word dumpster fire.
Monk
“To say that Twilight Sparkle went bugfuck would be like saying the Incredible Hulk had some mild anger management issues.” -DustTraveller
11802729
Actually MC doesn't have a good reason for being uncooperative. Flurry brings him back to life, he has a somewhat negative & ungrateful reaction to reincarnation, proceeds with his escape, then spends 3 or so weeks pretending to be a pauper with a vague implication of trauma that will supposedly explain his irrationality and unreasonable behavior. At least, at this point where I am in the story. Without substance or even hint or foreshadow to back his decision to push them away, it just seems like the story even this early on is fishing for pity.
And I don't have anything against any who uses the age trope. But my gripe is that in its core, it's just silly & doesn't make sense. I hashed out my reasoning in a reply to the author, so you can read that WoT if you want. But when he tries to justify it as a fantasy setting, the reasoning defeats itself. A species with a different age scale is just going to have another normal, which we/MC will eventually get used to. How is that fantasy? And it's much more fantastical anyway to de-age an adult into a child body. And in 'Your Human and You,' IIRC that human-Discord-scientist fellow actually was forced to design the Equestrian human to have a different lifespan. It's a direct plot point as opposed to being a detail/nuance explored in world-building that affects the world's logic. Also, differing lifespans weren't significant at all in the story, since the brunt of the plot was the romance/relationships of the main cast, with human trafficking and sexual abuse taking a back seat to that. So the age scale there didn't really occur to me again after it was mentioned. It irked me in this story though, because early on back in chapter 2, the author had Cadance specifically bring it up to prove the MC wrong. Using LotR as an example again, the different races have different age scales; this detail innervates the description cards of their species. It's a fact that need not be questioned. On the other hand, MC is supposed to be our lens, then the author brings up the differing age scale thru Cadance and slaps him in the face with it, and us too, by extension. And really, that's cheap.
I don't think this story is bad either, but I feel it could be better.
11802766
Of course it could be better, it could have been written by China Miéville. Sadly all the stories here are written by antisocial shut ins who write in their spare time. Oh well, it is, what it is. Still, I wouldn't trade the great Authors here for anything.
And since i did mention him, If you like professionally written steampunk, I recommend the professional Author China Miéville.
I recommend starting with "Perdido Street Station" by British writer China Miéville
Monk
"Yes, I will eat the Fear Turkey." -Illua
11802789
Huh, sounds like it's right up my alley, and the paperback seems available where I am. Cool! Thanks for the recommend
Here's my trade; 6k words of Rarity putting the beat down on Rainbow Dash.
11802147
damn, these two thoroughly teamed up to roast your ass with those essays bro. Gave me some real big JJK energy LMAO.
I didn't read what they said but they be exchanging book recommendations in your own comment section, the disrespect is real, and from a guy with a shirtless furry avatar no less hahahaha
11801373
Not sure if you are trolling or being serious. But whatever you have set your standards for an enjoyable story to be. Clearly don't align with mine. Criticism is usually okay when it's polite and constructive. This on the other hand yours is not.
I do so love senseless fluff stories like this
11802159
I concur.
My thoughts, just with different words.
We got through the heaving and ho'ing of world-building over the course of many opening chapters.
Now, the author is giving this story a chance to breathe... with these more slice-of-life style chapters.
Not every chapter needs to have high stakes or notable character development - we had that earlier, and right now seems like a good chance to just enjoy life as it sits.
In fact there were minor points of growth in this chapter (Kieran expressing his desire to read, which was taken up by a promise from Cadence), but this just felt so fluid and part of "life as it stands right now" that I would still label this a charming and delightful slice-of-life episode of a chapter.
Maybe that's why I enjoyed this chapter more than I expected. We sometimes just need good things. Flurry's and Kieran's friendly bickering about what creative talents belong to which body certainly delivers.
Awesome
Princess*
A nice story so far.
I like that the story is taking the time to show all of the little changes that happen which, when combined, make a very noticeable change in the way a character interacts with others.
It's just feels good to be able to just enjoy the journey of self-improvement with the character as they figure themselves out. So thanks for writing AFF and I look forward to reading more!
a very strong opening chapter; love it. Everything was well done and I look forward to learning more about Kieren
By the way, I saw the critics and such on Misplaced Wings; I mean learn from something if it has merit but do not worry about so of the mindless hate (like the protest here or there being pushed away; slow burn is a thing and also it takes kids time to overcome trauma after they have been through a lot. Just write what you write; internet arguments and even some criticism don't always hold merit(
Edit: I posted this in the wrong chapter whoops
, on topic, Also I love the team fortress two reference ( the “No” and “there’s more” part. Like from expiration date.
It’s good to see Kieren lighten up a bit. Loved his antics in the library
The lady at the end brings up a good point about his without magic he is basically handicapped and needs different care.
I gotta find more of these cute, wholesome found family fluff stories. It makes me so happy to read.
For this particular one, having to adapt to being a magically stunted pony after being a human certainly makes for a very interesting challenge to overcome. Getting to see Kieran act like a kid after having to take care of himself for so long is really wholesome ;-;
"Hello, excuse me ma`m, have you seen my son? He`s about this tall, clearly gay but we haven`t had the talk."
And then he blasts her with a sleep spell.
Yes, I remember them like it was yesterday. There was my old stallion, Polished Pauldrons, and his amazing wife, Mi Adore Mi Caboose-a. Long rest her seat.