“Is this really your barracks..?” I questioned her worriedly as we entered a small room. I would liken the inside to a prison cell.
There was a small bed with the thinnest of mattresses around in the far back, a small sink, and a mirror in the corner by the door. With one window so high up you couldn’t look out, along with it being the size of a slightly larger closet, it really gave off prison vibes as the sun just barely shined through, making the already dreary and dark hole a bit less awful. It also didn’t help that the walls and floor were all made of the same purple-ish brick. Replace the door with bars, and there you have it.
She laughed slightly and said, "It's, uh… better than the rooms you have to share before graduating.” She walked over and tried to make the bed look a bit more presentable. “They aren’t very big on… comfort.” As she said that, one of the springs under her bed snapped and sent the spring bouncing across the room.
I just lifted my eyebrows as she smiled to hide the concern of such a disaster. But I shrugged only a few seconds later, “Well, that sucks. And you’re stuck in here?” I asked frankly.
She hummed in agreement as she began to slowly take off her armor. “It’s only temporary, until I get stationed in a position. I graduated only last week.”
“What’re your options?” I asked absentmindedly as I looked into the large mirror in the corner.
“There’s three; technically, four? Options.” She grunted as she unstrapped her body armor. “The Empire’s border, where you watch for threats out in the snowfields.”
I tilted my head. “Threats? There’s actually like… monsters or something?”
“Eh…” She trailed off, “There’s the occasional snow beast or windigo, but those are rare.”
Windigo? Like… a wendigo? I felt a shiver run through my spine. I think I’m better off not knowing for now. But if there were cryptids in this world, then that would make things even more crazy.
“Then there’s the street guards, the station guards, and finally the castle guards themselves.” She must’ve finished taking her armor off as she shuffled it into a corner. “But castle guards are unneeded as of now; there’s a special selection process. But there’s no spot available even still.”
I hummed, “Yeah, those are the ones with the fancy shiny purple armor.” I realized with intrigue. “What do you mean by the selection process? Is it like a test… or?”
“Lots of potential factors. Being top of our squad in combat, loyalty towards the Empire, and the years of service we’ve put in, whether you’re a crystal pony also plays a factor. She replied with a sigh.
"Well, that’s sort of racist.” I muttered.
“What does that mean?” She asked innocently.
I fake laughed to cover my words as I turned towards her. "Oh, it’s… nothing.” She tilted her head at me as I finally looked at her without all her armor. My eyes widened, and I stared for a minute. “You look way different than I imagined.” I said truthfully.
She had a concerned look on her face. “Oh, sorry about that.”
Despite her large build, she looked rather shy and timid and certainly acted as much. And she was so polite about everything. “Don’t be! You look pretty.” I quickly countered with a smile.
She blushed bright red. “Thank you… I might be a little old for you, though.”
The surprise of her saying that made me nearly choke on the air I was breathing. I didn’t know if she said that as a joke or if she was actually being serious. When I looked up, she was giving me a knowing smirk of playfulness, and she stuck her tongue out. “Just kidding.” She said sweetly.
I laughed; I was, however, being truthful. I hadn’t expected her hair to look well kept and styled under the armor. Both her mane and tail were curled quite heavily, and her cutie mark was that of a green shield covering a honeycomb. Though I couldn’t help but ask the obvious, “How does your mane look so different without the helmet?”
“Magic.” She said it simply, with a small wink. Though I completely believed her if that was an actual explanation, I laughed as she hauled a box over to me and set it by the mirror. "Alright, let’s get your mane looking as good as mine.” She said confidently.
“Oh really?” I smiled evilly. “I think I’ll tell Princess Flurry you think her mane doesn’t look good."
She smirked, “Nice try. You’re a bad liar, though.”
I huffed and puffed my cheeks out as she rummaged through the box of equipment. “So, what kind of style are you thinking?” I asked. “And what color? Like red and black, maybe? Oh! Are you going to cut it at all?” I questioned her excitedly.
She looked up wearily, “I don’t think I should be coloring or cutting your mane without permission from somepony. Besides the fact that I don’t exactly have the means to do that…” She commented lightly as she brought a brush and a few bottles out. “But I can certainly still make it look different.”
“Oh…” I said slowly, a small amount of disappointment seeping into my tone.
“I’m sorry; I’ll try my best to make it fit you still! I promise.” She looked at my face through the mirror, and I couldn’t help but nod at her with a large smile. That seemed good enough for her, and she quickly set after my mane.
Shining gave one last glance backwards at Kieran before stepping his way through the door. Bristle generously shut it right behind him and stood at attention near the door, as if the two hadn’t just been having casual conversation a few minutes ago. Shining looked over towards the desk as Smoke Strike quickly stood up and gave a much larger bow than usual, going down to one hoof. “Sir Shining, it’s a pleasure to be meeting with you today.”
Shining raised his eyebrow and let out a sigh. “At ease.” Smoke nodded, leaving his bow to return to his position at the table. In all honesty, Shining couldn’t help but think the stallion looked like a poor foal who’d been called into the principal's office. The tell-tale sign of a regretful expression, whether true or not, along with his minor fidgeting.
Shining took a seat across from him, “Smoke strike-”
“I’m sorry, Sir Shining!” Smoke Strike spouted out, bowing his head in regret. "My words were callous and thoughtless; had I used my brain for even a moment, I wouldn’t have dared to speak ill of young Kieran!”
Shining looked backwards at Bristle, and they both shared a raised eyebrow. Smoke continued on, unfettered by their silent confusion. “I was having a terrible day, and I wasn’t aware of your attachment to the young foal-”
Bristle butted in quite abruptly, “You’d been told countless times of the situation, Smoke; don’t try and play that card.”
Smoke’s eyes widened as he looked up. He sighed dejectedly, “I wasn’t listening well enough; it was a stupid mistake. I’m sure Kieran is a wonderful young foal.”
Besides the fact that Shining could see the sourness on Smoke’s face when he said those words, he wasn’t about to snap at him. Bristle had already done so, and if Shining knew anything about his wife, he’d already gotten a letter that likely threatened every part of the unicorn’s livelihood. “You know, Smoke, it really doesn’t bother me that some of the guards have a point of contention with Kieran. I do personally believe myself that Kieran was acting purely on fear, but some of his pranks certainly were…” Shining rolled his head a bit as he searched for the right words. “Kieran could have been nicer, yes.”
Both Bristle and Smoke looked at him in surprise, but Shining quickly jumped back in. “But what do you expect me to do, Smoke? The foal lost his entire world, his body, and countless other personal things. He died—actually died! The poor kid’s traumatized!” Shining took a few deep breaths. “Do I think Kieran could apologize to some of the guards? Yes. But I’m not sending him out to do community service in the middle of winter!” Shining’s voice was firm and commanding, as if he were instructing a group of recruits.
Smoke stuttered, "N-No, sir, I wasn’t hoping you’d put him through something like that."
“If I may, Shining,” Bristle said, stepping forward a bit. “It’s almost Hearth’s Warming; the guards here should almost all be okay with passing Kieran on his actions. Nobody was seriously hurt, even if they could’ve been.”
Shining looked back at Bristle, giving him a nod of acknowledgement, before facing Smoke again with less stoicness. “I don’t think Kieran has ever really had a father figure.” Shining admitted as the two watched him curiously. Shining’s shoulders relaxed. “So while I disagree with his actions, he didn’t know any better. Even Kieran thinks what he did was wrong; he has told us many times. He even begged Cadance not to send you the letter, Smoke.”
Smoke’s eyes widened, and he lowered his head a bit in shame. The room was silent for a minute, until Shining released a loud hum. “So, can we all just agree to forgive and forget? Cadance and I aren’t going to allow him to run around and abuse guards, so…” Shining took a deep breath. “We swear on our crowns that he will not cause any more trouble for the Empire.”
Bristle huffed. “Shining this is completely unnecessary."
Shining held his hoof up. “I know Kieran enough now that I trust I can make this promise. From here on, he will be nothing but good for The Empire.”
Bristle shook his head a bit disbelievingly, but he shrugged it off as both stared at Smoke, waiting for an answer. The unicorn smiled wryly. “Of course, Sir Shining, you’ve made a promise I can’t deny. I have full faith in your words.” He finished with a salute.
"So, what did you do?"
I kept my eyes closed as Flitter asked me that question, but I couldn’t keep surprise out of my words. “When? Who? What?”
She giggled as she continued to spray around my head and lather my hair. “The guards, silly. A lot of them seem to think you’re the second coming of Discord for some reason.”
“Oh, that…” I trailed off with gritted teeth. “Wait, who’s Discord?”
“Spirit of chaos,” Honey Flitter replied nonchalantly.
“Okaay… Spirits of chaos, cryptids, dragons—what the heck does your world not have at this point?” I listed it with a huff of amusement.
“You’re avoiding the question!~” She replied in a song-like tone.
I crossed my hooves and said, “I’m not! I’m genuinely surprised you guys have all that fairytale book stuff.” I sighed afterward, my hooves falling back to my sides. “The reason all the guards are mad at me is because I played a bunch of pranks on them before Cadance and Shining found me.”
She laughed, “Pranks? Some harmless pranks from a foal caused all those rumors?” She asked in disbelief.
I shuffled uncomfortably. “Harmless is… a light word to use."
She rolled her eyes playfully, “Oh no, did you stick gum to their horseshoes? Knock on their armor? Throw a snowball?” She laughed at her own imagination.
Once again, I shifted uncomfortably, rubbing my fetlock in a soothing way as fear crept into me. If I told her, would Flitter turn on me? Would she attack me? No, surely not; she wasn’t like that. But I knew that some guards were certainly hoping I’d get my comeuppance. She stopped messing with my hair for a moment, as she must’ve noticed my sour mood and weariness. “Hey, it can’t be that bad, Kieran.” Flitter commented a bit worriedly.
I opened my eyes a bit to see the concerned yet confused look on her face. “It’s okay. You can tell me.” She reassured me comfortingly. Though I guess most ponies were more open and willing to share stories with others, I wasn’t like most ponies. I’d only just met Flitter a little bit ago; I genuinely didn’t know if I could trust her yet.
“Can I have those scissors?” I asked, pointing towards her box. She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, yet she obliged by grabbing them and handing them to me handle-first. I took them quite quickly, tucking them under my wing and closing tight to make sure they wouldn’t drop out.
“Alright… gonna tell me now?” Flitter raised her brows, and as nervousness crept in even more, I looked all around the room for anything else sharp that could be used as a weapon against me.
I guess my search looked frighteningly frantic as Flitter set her spray bottles down and sat in front of me, gentle as a feather, putting both wings on my shoulder. “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you, Kieran.” Her voice would’ve sounded almost hurt, but she seemed to sense that it was something deeper than mistrusting her. I barely trusted anybody, regardless of how kind they seemed on the outside.
“Look at me,” she asked gently. I kept my eyes firmly on my hooves, releasing a sigh as I looked up at her eyes. There was concern written all over her face. “I’ve seen that look before,” Flitter mentioned. “I have five little siblings, so I know when one of them is terrified to tell the truth.” She continued, much to my surprise. “You don’t have to tell me if it makes you feel uncomfortable, alright? I’m just some random guard pony anyway." She said with a large smile as she rubbed the back of my shoulders with her wing in a soothing way.
I sighed and nodded, but I couldn’t keep running from what I’d done forever. Cadance and Shining were obviously biased towards me, so confiding in them would certainly only be met with assurance that everything I did was fine. But I knew it wasn’t fine, so maybe an outside perspective like Flitter would help.
Tentatively, I took a deep sigh. “They were not “fun” pranks. They bordered on cruelty more than fun. Well, I was having fun, but I feel disgusted with myself now.”
Flitter sat back, taking her wings off me gently as she listened intently, both her eyes locked onto me. “I didn’t do them in the right state of mind… I was still really scared, and the only happiness I could get was from seeing the guards who were constantly on the lookout for me in miserable situations.” I looked up at her, but she still held a curious and understanding look.
I closed my eyes and listed off my sins like I was confessing in church in front of the father or something: “I glued many guard’s spears and horseshoes to the ground with this magic instant hardening glue I stole. I would often drop cold water on packs of roaming guards. I would hide in alleyways, pretend to be a filly in danger, and call out for help, only for the guards to come running straight around an extremely slippery corner. They’d often pile up and slam into the brick wall when I did so. I stopped as my eyes teared up.
But I cleared my throat and continued on, “O-One time these guards took their suits off in a cafe, I snuck in and filled their armor with black paint. I rolled a snowball so large in an alleyway and rolled it out and down a hill into a large group of guards; they mostly got flattened by it. I… I…” It really hurt recounting all of these—much more than I’d anticipated. “You get the point, right?” I asked hopefully.
She stared at me in surprise for a bit, causing me to grow more and more worried. I clutched the scissors closer to myself. “Wow…” She replied eventually, blinking away her surprise. Her face was unreadable, and I watched as she sighed and lifted her hoof up. I flinched away from her and closed my eyes until I felt her hoof on my head. I peaked at her with one eye in surprise as she hummed curiously, “Your hair is so curly, it’s already fighting back the hair spray.” She commented with her other hoof on her chin.
I tilted my head in disbelief. “You don’t hate me?”
She huffed a bit of laughter. “You regret it, and you’ve already been forgiven by Cadance and Shining, right?”
“I-I guess…”
She smiled widely and shrugged. “Then it’s already fine! Everything has already come to pass anyway; all you can do now is leave that in the past.”
I felt almost offended for some reason; I didn’t understand why. “B-But you heard what I said, right? I was super cruel to all those guards who were doing their jobs! You’re supposed to call me a psycho, or... or tell me to leave!” I said it with a laugh of disbelief. “I’m a terrible person, let alone a pony! I used to do similar things in my previous life when I was on the streets. I would lie and steal. I’ve always been like this! And I’m just pretending like I deserve to live in a castle now after everything I’ve done to people!”
"Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Flitter said quickly, holding her hooves up and setting her wings back on my shoulders. “Calm down; breathe, little one. Deep breath, hold it for three seconds, then release.”
I did as she instructed and shut my mouth, breathing heavily yet slowly for a minute or so, which really put into perspective just how close I was to another panic attack. She rubbed my back soothingly again and said, “It’s okay.”
I stared down at my hooves as my breathing slowed down. Why was I telling her all of this? Why did I care so much about how I’d acted when I was being given a free pass? “Better?” She asked gently.
I lifted my head, unable to make eye contact, though I simply shook my head. After a moment, she spoke again: “It sounds like there are a lot of deeper-rooted problems in there that I can’t honestly help with…” She trailed off with a sigh. “But you're being a bit too hard on yourself, don’t you think?”
I shrugged, and she sighed again. When she stood up, I expected her to push me out of her room or simply go get someone else to do it. But I was surprised to find her sitting on my right, and she wrapped her whole wing around me like a blanket. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel bad or upset with yourself.” She paused to look down at me. “But you want to be a better pony, right?”
Slowly, I nodded at her question, and her voice became softer again: “Beating yourself up doesn’t help.” She told me simply. I sighed at that. She was right, but it didn’t make me feel much better. She put a hoof over her chest, “I know that when I make a mistake, the first thing I do is think of how to not make the same mistake again. And foals are meant to make mistakes; that’s how they learn and grow.”
I scoffed. “I was almost an adult in my world; I should be treated like one here too. But I’ve been hiding behind your stupid aging system to offset my awful behavior. I don’t deserve to learn and grow.” I said with a short huff.
Flitter took on a rather serious look, and her voice took on a bit more of a judgmental tone. “Ah yes, roaming the street, stealing, lying—you must’ve been a paragon of adulthood in your past world.” Her words were a little bit hurtful. The look she was giving me reminded me of Cadance the night she found me.
I flinched as she continued on, "Yes, our “stupid aging system” has a pony age until nearly forty to be fully grown. However, I’ve seen many ponies who are adults make terrible decisions, learn from them, and grow from them as well. Age isn’t really the problem; it’s how you were raised that made you do those things." She laughed. “Even when I was thirty-six, I was still making foalish mistakes sometimes.”
I finally looked up at her, and she raised her brow. “We ponies like to hope that others can be the best versions of themselves that they can, but most of them can’t do it alone, and now that you have that opportunity to grow and change as a foal instead of being thrown into adulthood in your past life, you’re just shelling yourself up like a turtle. Hoping that someone will punish you instead of happily pushing you in the right direction as a second chance.”
“But I’m not a pony,” I said so quietly that it sounded like a whisper. “And what if I’m already the best version of myself I can be?”
She smiled and tilted her head. “The little foal that’s crying over people he hurt and is desperately seeking punishment from some random guardsmare? I feel as though you’ve already made many steps in the right direction without noticing. And if you’re not a pony right now, then I must be a tree.” She paused to study my face, which was a conflicted mess. “I bet your new parents wouldn’t want you to think of yourself as some sort of awful vandal.” She told me quietly.
I sniffled to clear my nose. I wasn’t crying, but I had teared up a bit, at least. “Shining and Cadance? They aren’t my parents.” I said with a bit of amusement.
She shrugged. “Well, they still care about you. And judging by the description of your past life, how many people can you honestly say that about?”
My breath stopped a bit as I reminisced. I had a few friends, but they were always put off by my situation, so we often didn’t hang out when school was done. And I thought I had at least a semblance of family in my brother, Damon… He wasn’t really my family anymore, though. Anyone else would be completely alone in my situation, but...
Cadance and Shining, Flurry...
A subtle smile inched its way onto my muzzle again as I thought of them. At first, I thought they just wanted a perfect sibling for their precious daughter, but every day it felt like they were proving otherwise. And now they were the only ones I felt I could trust. They showed me so much kindness, even knowing what I did; they were a genuine gift to me. Compared to what I’d become accustomed to.
And I was the same age as Flurry, but she was so carefree and always growing and changing. Maybe it was my human brain holding me to higher standards; maybe I was too hard on myself, but Flitter was right. As a human, I’d given up; nobody had really urged me to become better, not even Damon. In fact, the things I had done were mostly taught by him under the guise of survival. But with no need to fight for survival, there was no better place to try again; this was my final opportunity.
I shook my head, wiping my tears away quickly as I stood up. "Sorry, Flitter, I didn’t mean to spring a therapy session on your hooves.” I said sincerely as I turned to face her.
She giggled. “I have three little sisters and two little brothers; there’s lots of drama and long talks I have to do with them, so I’m used to it.” She laughed again. "Plus, I’m the one who brought it up, even though you were uncomfortable. But I think you needed to get all that off your chest anyway, so don’t worry about it.” She seemed to have something on her mind and quickly asked, “Why haven’t you talked about this with Shining Armor or Cadance?”
I rubbed my hoof nervously again. “Sometimes I feel like they would just wave it all off as nothing. I also thought it’d be bad for me if someone just told me everything I’d done was okay… So I didn’t ask.”
She shrugged. “I think you should confide in them more; you might be surprised.”
I nodded in agreement. “I might; hopefully I won’t have to.”
Flitter reached upward and began picking at my hair again. "Wow, this hair is so curly; it’s already trying to go back to normal shape.” She laughed, “Alright, I think I have an idea. Back in formation, soldier.” She told me playfully.
I smiled and sat back down in the same spot as the hair treatment resumed, and I gave a short salute. “Yes ma’am!”
“What do you make of it, Sir Shining?” Smoke asked a bit nervously.
Bristle and Shining were both huddled around a report from a small guard station up in Appleoosa. Neither Shining nor Bristle could make heads or tails of it, and both were as confused as could be. Shining cleared his throat. “A blinding white pillar? Are we sure this wasn’t like... a comet?”
Bristle huffed and took the report in his hoof, clearing his throat as he read it aloud. “Over the horizon out in the wasteland, a white pillar measuring approximately three inches in diameter from our position in Appleloosa. Estimated real diameter at thirty feet. Witnesses report that it reached all the way from ground level up to the heavens above and was gone within a mere couple of seconds. After thorough searching the following day, there was not a single trace of any remnant of magic, celestial object, or otherwise.” Bristle looked up from the page with a raised brow. “It sounds like guards who’ve spent a bit too much time out in that tiny town. Maybe they listened to one too many stories.”
Smoke shrugged. “I have heard that Zenith has Vapor researching it for any past history. And that she has already sent herself and Wither Wisp out to investigate it on a private mission.”
“Both of them?” Shining voiced in surprise and giving a slight huff, “That’s a lot of firepower for her. Guess that explains why she’s gone today.”
Bristle hummed deeply. “She’s always doing things like this without orders."
Shining waved his hoof dismissively. “She’s my only other Sergeant; I trust in her judgment. If she thinks it’s worth investigating, then who am I to stop her?”
Smoke nodded. “Well, witnesses from all over have given similar descriptions of the event. It had to have been something.”
Bristle hummed shortly, “A mass hysteria event, maybe? Discord? The mane six up to something?”
Smoke just continuously shook his head. “You’d hope, but it’s doubtful.”
“Well,” Shining muttered, “Has Twilight said anything?”
Smoke tilted his head away. “Well, she told us to look into it for her. She said she was super busy with a much more important research topic, whatever that means. The letter was hastily written.”
Shining just gained a large smile as he nodded in understanding. “Time will tell, I guess.” Shining replied to Bristle's and Smoke’s nods. “This has certainly been a visit.” Shining said with a short laugh, “But I think it’s time I go home and only worry about what kind of salad to serve to my family instead of all of this.”
Smoke stood and bowed. “I’m so sorry for making you come in, Sir Shining. It won’t happen again.”
Shining just raised his brows as he turned around. “It better not. Tell all the recruits who’re still brooding that they can either drop their grudge or get expelled from the academy. I don’t need such vitriolic ponies in my guard.”
Bristle nodded as Shining passed by him. “I will make sure of it as well, Shining.”
Shining stopped at the door and turned with a smile. “Have a good Hearth’s Warming, only message me if it’s important; blah blah, you know the drill. I’ll see you both soon.”
They both bowed their heads with a short chuckle as the door closed on Shining with a click. A minute or two passed as Shining conversed with a guard outside the door and heard the steady sound of hoofsteps leaving. “You’re lucky he’s in good spirits.” Bristle said shortly with a huff.
Smoke grimaced, “Yes, sir."
“Make no mistakes, Smoke. I told Shining everything about our first conversation; I’m surprised he went so easy on you.” Bristle sighed. “Probably because he knows Kieran doesn’t want to make enemies. He bet his crown on the line that he can be a better role model for him in the future. Surely that’s satisfactory for your odd qualms?”
Smoke raised his hooves defensively and said, “Plenty! That’s plenty of assurance, Sergeant.”
“Great,” Bristle replied gruffly. “I have a small feeling that next time you make Papa Bear angry, it’ll be your throat. Or most likely your position.” He said with a short chuckle.
Smoke raised a brow. “It won’t come to that; maybe he’s enamored by my charming looks."
Bristle’s smile dropped at once, and he stared at him seriously. “Get back to work, Corporal.”
"Yes, Sergeant, right away.”
…
…
Shining exited the room with a heavy sigh, glad for everything to be over once again. As he looked up and around, he noticed a distinct lack of Kieran, and even as he approached the end of the hallway, he seemed absent. A guard at the end of the hallway saluted suddenly, “I’ve been told to relay a message, Sir Shining.”
Shining gestured for him to continue as the recruit cleared his throat. “Kieran is with Recruit Honey Flitter in the barracks. She is currently off-duty and giving the foal a makeover.”
Shining hummed in surprise as a smile tugged its way back onto his lips. He was mentally kicking himself for not asking Kieran if he’d like help styling his mane before leaving, but he was glad that he’d found a recruit who was willing to help. Honey Flitter was a name he recognized as well; she was always at the top of her classes in combat and nearly every other subject.
“At ease, thank you, recruit.” Shining remembered to say this before heading off towards the barracks.
“Are you almost done?” I said a bit impatiently as I tapped my hoof.
“Almost.”
“Shining’s got to be looking for me already.” I sighed.
She giggled, "Well, for a babysitter, therapist, and hair stylist all in one, he better be paying me.”
I opened my mouth to apologize again, but she gently closed my mouth. “I’m just joking, little one.”
“Alright! I think that’s all I can do for now,” she told me.
My eyes slowly opened to meet my face in the mirror. The filly staring back no longer looked identical to Princess Flurry Heart, but like a genuinely different pony with the same colors. My hair on top and in front was much more smoothed out, evening out in two ways. The hair on my back no longer curled so far up that it reached my cheeks but instead reached the top of my back with its length, even if it was still curled. It was held in place by a pearl-looking hair clip.
My tail no longer curled as well, was completely straightened out, and instead pointed outward with its curls instead. The blue streaks in my hair on both my head and tail were combined into one long strand instead of being scattered throughout. The only thing that surprised me was the silver band around my tail. Flitter caught me looking at it and laughed, “It’s the only way I could keep it from curling all the way back up again. Is it alright?”
I turned back to the mirror again and smiled at the filly in the mirror.
It wasn’t everything; it wasn’t perfect, but it was something. And that was enough to make me swell with happiness. As I turned back to Flitter, I impulsively leapt towards her hoof and hugged it. She giggled and quickly wrapped her other hoof around my back. “Hey, it was no problem.” She told me as she blushed.
I shook my head. “You have no idea how much this helps.” I told her.
She giggled more and retracted her hoof to give a short, playful bow. “I should expect a five-star review, then?”
I giggled and nodded before standing on my hooves, getting another look at myself in the mirror, and beaming with a bit more confidence. I put my hoof on hers and said, “Let’s go find Shining!” I said excitedly, practically jumping up and down.
She laughed, foregoing re-equipping her armor to follow me outside the jail cell. The hallways glowed with the sun’s midday beams, and even the color of the place seemed a bit brighter than usual. I stopped dragging Flitter as she fell in line behind me. I was practically prancing through the hallway; I hadn’t felt this happy in a long while.
I heard Flitter’s hoofsteps stop behind me. “Oh!” She said suddenly. I looked back, and she was searching herself before setting her eyes on me again. “I have to go get my badge; I’ll get in trouble walking around without it; it should only take a moment.” I nodded as she looked troubled. “Where did I put it?” She mumbled worriedly as she trotted back to her jail cell.
I stopped in the hallway; to the left was some sort of locker room with a bunch of ponies coming and going from a different exit. There were plenty of trainees, but also regular guards as well. I was uncaring, however, choosing to stare out at the field as I hummed an old song I liked, bobbing my head with the tune.
There was laughter from the room on my left: “Nice one, Brisk Mane!” Someone shouted.
“Thanks everyone,” the guy replied humbly. I looked over to my left. Wasn’t this the pony Flitter had a crush on? Maybe I could be her wingman! Or… wingwoman? Wingmare? Hmm… I’m not a mare, though… And wingstallion? No, that’s stupid.
“You totally killed it out there!” A recruit mare told him.
Brisk Mane laughed as everyone in the room agreed. “I’m just glad everyone enjoyed the show!” He said.
Suddenly, he looked in my direction, and his brow furrowed in confusion. Then, as if a sudden realization hit him, his eyes widened in surprise. “Is that Kieran?” He said quite loudly, as all of their heads turned to me.
This was it; this was my chance to help Flitter out as her wingman! If Flitter had bowed to me earlier, what would these ponies do? All I had to do was wait for their questions to die down and slowly introduce Brisk Mane to Flitter. As more and more of the recruits looked over at me, I felt slightly out of place in the spotlight.
What should I say? Who should I say it to? Should I address them all at the same time or-
“What are you doing here?” One of the trainees next to Brisk Mane asked with a tilted head.
I suddenly realized I was just staring at them awkwardly. "I'm just waiting for someone.” I replied with a sheepish laugh.
A couple of trainees around Brisk Mane snickered, “Who let the fillycolt in?” One of them asked.
“This isn’t a homeless shelter.” Another continued.
Brisk Mane smirked and snorted laughter at that. “I don’t know; maybe she’s stupid or something.”
Oh…
That was right.
Nobody here liked me.
My smile fell, and I retreated against the wall, looking down at my hooves in shame as the three stallions erupted in laughter. Silly me, thinking I’d actually accomplished anything by sitting around and talking about feelings like it would actually help anything.
Brisk Mane walked forward, his two friends flanking his sides. “Who’re you waiting for anyway?”
“Nobody,” I mumbled quietly.
“What was that?” Brisk Mane scoffed, “You’ve got real nerve showing up around here anyway. What were you expecting?”
I felt my spine chill as I hunched lower and lower to the ground. “I… I…”
One of his friends mocked me, “I… I…” They all laughed at his impression: “Like you said, man, she’s stupid. She probably doesn’t know why she’s here.”
Brisk Mane and the others died laughing. Brisk Mane stepped forward, uncomfortably close. “What’s with you and your harassment of the guards anyway? What’s your problem?"
I grimaced. “Why are you asking?”
He laughed, "Because my dad was one of your “prank” victims.” He scoffed angrily. “His fur was stained black for a whole two weeks!”
“Oh… I see.” I said quietly, my head falling even further towards the ground, “I’m sorry.” This had to be one of the most unlucky interactions I could possibly have. But in a way, it sort of felt funny, in an ironic sort of way.
“Did you hear that, man? She said she was sorry~” One of the stallions said sorry as mockingly as possible.
Brisk Mane reached forward and touched my mane. “The little freak thinks he’ll change himself, and anybody will care too!” They all laughed again.
“Get your disgusting hoof off of Kieran!” They all looked up in surprise, as did I, as Flitter stormed her way in front of me and growled dangerously at the group.
They all took a few steps back in surprise, and Brisk Mane raised his eyebrows. One of his friends nudged him, “Isn’t that the mare that gawks at you every day, man?”
Flitter smiled sweetly before stepping forward. She practically towered over the entire group of stallions by at least a foot. “Yes, I did think he was cute. Until I saw him bullying a foal.” She glared dangerously at Brisk Mane, specifically, “So I’m not interested anymore. Any stallion acting like this must be compensating for something.” She said with an eye roll.
Brisk Mane took a step forward angrily, and Flitter just raised her brow as she glared daggers. She leaned in closer, over his head. “What’re you gonna do, trainee?” Flitter challenged him, “Assault a guard because she put you in your place?”
Brisk sneered and turned his head away. “You only made it through because of your freakish build. You're barely a mare; I would’ve never gotten with you anyway.”
Flitter laughed. “And yet I’m a guard, and you are treading dangerous water.” Brisk took another step back as Flitter tilted her head sweetly. “Why don’t you run home to daddy and tell him you bullied a foal for him? Hmm? I’m sure he’ll be so proud of his little colt~” She ended mockingly.
At this point, Brisk Mane’s two lackeys had backed off, not willing to deal with it anymore. Brisk Mane opened his mouth to speak, but shut it with a growl as he turned to leave. He was beginning to sulk off somewhere. Flitter scoffed, seemingly in disbelief at their cowardice.
“So, what’s going on here?” A new voice asked commandingly, coming around the corner.
All three of the trainees' blood ran cold as they turned, and all of their eyes widened in horror as Shining stepped around from the corner. “Sir Shining!” Brisk Mane said with panicked surprise as he forced his friends to bow as he did so himself. “How much did you hear- I mean... How can we help you, sir?”
“I heard enough.” Shining trotted over to us, he looked at Flitter, gave her a smile and an appreciative nod, and looked down at me with an even bigger smile. When he set his sights on the three again, he let the fury of his expression finally take hold. “Firstly, you can pack your things and get out of my academy.”
All of their eyes widened. “B-But… Sir!” Brisk Mane started.
“But what trainee?” Shining barked back. “I came over here to collect my charge, and you’re sitting here insulting him!”
Brisk Mane was trembling as he got down onto his stomach in submission. "Please, sir, my father will be furious; I’ll never do it again.”
Shining raised his brows, “Your father deserves to be furious and disappointed. His son grew up to be a bully; most foals usually leave that behind in school."
Brisk was merely just cowering at this point, and Shining released a loud sigh, “Five years, fix your attitude in five years, and maybe you three have a chance back on my guard. Go grow up a little more.” He commanded them.
They all hung their heads low but stood back up and attempted a salute. Shining nodded. “Dismissed, citizens.” He added at the end with emphasis.
As they sulked off, the entire room of trainees and guards tried to pretend they weren’t listening in on every word, even though it would’ve been nearly impossible to do otherwise. Shining cleared his throat. “If anybody else has an issue, I suggest you keep it to yourself.” The room unanimously nodded, and Shining shut the door with his magic.
Turning to Flitter and me, he gave me a worried look as he got down on one hoof. “Are you okay?” He looked at my hair and laughed lightly, reaching forward to stroke my head. “I like the new look, buddy.”
A slight smile started on my muzzle. I blushed and nodded eagerly, and I found myself taking a few steps forward and embracing his leg. "Thanks... I… I want to go home now…” I said quietly.
Shining nodded. “Sure thing, buddy, I bet Cadance is home already too.” He lifted me up onto his back and nuzzled me gently. When he turned back to Flitter, he bowed his head and said, “Miss Flitter, I don’t know much about you, but I can’t express how thankful I am for your intervention. And your stellar mane styling.” He added on at the end with a short chuckle.
She saluted, putting on a serious expression, “My pleasure, Shining Armor Sir; I’m glad to have made an impact!”
“Flitter…” I mumbled nervously, “I’m sorry I ruined your crush for you.”
She scoffed, “That guy? He’s cute, but after seeing his behavior, I wouldn’t date him if I was paid to. Probably just some spoiled rich fancy colt.” She said with a short eyeroll, before stopping herself with a short bow, “I mean no offense, Sir Shining.”
Shining only patted her shoulder with a light chuckle. “No, I agree.” Shining looked back at me. “Ready to go?”
Nobody would fault me for saying yes, nodding my head, and hiding in the castle for weeks. Which was more running from my problems and would eventually end up with me in the same situation some day. Except I might not have help again if it happens. Something was itching in my mind, and I grimaced before shaking my head. Shining tilted his head as I carefully jumped off his back.
I gestured to the door, and Shining curiously opened it for me with his magic. I could feel my legs shaking underneath me, yet I forced myself to take one step at a time until I was back in the locker room. Until now, I’d been staring at my hooves, and when I looked up, I felt my heartbeat quicken at all the staring. The talking had gone quiet, and all eyes were on me.
Just say something, one word at a time.
“Um…” I voiced, my tone immediately dropping in volume.
“So…” I squeaked quietly.
I took more deep breaths, like Flitter showed me how to do, until my heartbeat was no longer racing. I shook my head and looked at the crowd, pretending they were all in underwear wouldn’t help; ponies don’t wear clothes much…
“I just wanted to say..." I stepped forward a bit more. “I know w-what I did was wrong... A-And I really don’t want to be like that again. I promise I won’t go back to hurting anypony or causing trouble.” I paused for a second, daring to look backward. Shining had a look I don’t think I’d ever seen on anyone before, not when it was directed at me anyway. He gave me a nod as he beamed with pride. Flitter nodded rapidly and waved her hooves as if to urge me on.
I turned back around with more confidence and said, “And I’m not being told to say this or urged to by anybody else. I’m saying this seriously, straight from myself, because I don’t want to be seen as Flurry’s evil clone.” That garnered a few chuckles, which made me blush madly as I lowered my head again. “So I hope you can all put my past actions behind me and see me as somebody new and different, so... yeah.” I finished, sinking into a quieter voice.
The silence was deafening for a few moments. I knew I couldn’t hold up my confidence until the very end; maybe they thought I was still untrustworthy because of that? Maybe actions spoke louder, and my words would fall on deaf ears?
Then one of them in the crowd stomped, and then another. I looked up in confusion as they looked around, urging everyone else to join. And before I knew it, the entire room was stomping their front hooves on the ground interchangeably.
I took a few steps back carefully. "Uh... Did I say something insulting? Is this a sign of aggression?” I asked panickedly as I looked up at Shining.
Shining chuckled deeply as he shook his head before he lifted me with his magic and set me on the back of his neck. “No, that’s a guard’s way of clapping. They think it’s cool, I guess.” Shining said with a bit of exasperation.
“Oh…” The realization of what just happened hit me as their stomping died down and everyone returned to talking in joyful moods. I smiled and sat on Shining’s back. “That’s good."
Shining laughed and turned around to nuzzle me multiple times. “I’m really proud of you, buddy.”
Flitter put her wing on my back and said, “Good job; you really took what I said to heart!” She giggled afterwards.
I laughed as I gently pushed Shining’s muzzle away. “Thanks, I had good help.” I blushed again and buried my face in Shining’s mane. “Can we go home now?”
Shining laughed, nodded, and turned for the exit. Flitter stood still, waving at us as he carried me away. I lifted my hoof and gave another wave back. I don’t think things would’ve been nearly as good if Flitter hadn’t been here today.
I stood up on Shining’s back and called out to her, “I’ll miss you, Flitter!”
She held a hoof over her mouth and giggled. “Have a wonderful Hearth’s Warming, Kieran! Sir Shining!” Shining didn’t look back, but he nodded in acknowledgement at her words.
And well, that had probably been my most productive day since I’d first been resurrected in Equestria.
Well…
It was probably my most productive day in a much longer timeframe than that.
Honey Flitter I'd the absolute best!
Unless someone needed a doctor because of him I think it is time to get over it. Plus if the guards can't catch a kid then they need to up their game.
I can agree this is a very human idea of redemption, even though I think it's personally wrong. But fine for a 16-year-old. Because it's.
Where are kieran's horn and wings in that picture?
And that’s how flitter became a palace guard.
Needs a line break or transition since the scene changed. Otherwise a great chapter. I'm still pissed at Smoke Strike. I feel like he got off easy while Brisk Mane and his stooges got the appropriate punishment. But as long as things are settled with the guards than I can't complain too much. I love Flitter and I see what you are doing. I agree, she would make a great personal guard for Kieran.
Kieran looks sooooooooo nice now!! Love the drawing! Big applause for Honey!!
At least Smoke got over it, Shining needn't have done more than what he did. Just hope it was at least 90% honest xD. Personally, I'd worry more about Cadance than Shining. he seems a bit more restrained than his a little-more overprotective wife. But eh well, that's understandable too.
Can't wait to see the Christmas chapter, I'm already so excited!! (And for the next one, if there will be a next until then)
Good luck, mate!
P.S.
Jail cell was an intented joke, I'd guess? Ngl, it made me confused the first time I read it.
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Edit: I have rectified this! The correct version is now in place!
Oh shit.. lmao that's the wrong version of the picture before the wings and horn. Sadly I'm out of town so it'll have to wait a few days.
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That was a editing error since I was in a rush, thanks for pointing it out.
Splendid
camo.fimfiction.net/5JSEZhe4BgFbrEkhwV52OjDEnSQsupFBn2VrmKDpOHw?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ibb.co%2FgFVJMrr%2Fhoneyflittermirror.png
He’s missing his horn and wings.
A nigh-perfect chapter, this one. Loved everything about it, especially the artwork.
awesome and wholesome chapter
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Yes and indo not like smike getting off.so easily
Not sure if you intended there to be a line break after this? I know I was confused a good amount until I reread and figured out we swapped perspectives
And uh, is Kieran supposed to be missing his wings and horn in the picture?
Otherwise, good chapter! Glad to see things are looking up for Kieran's views about himself and otherwise
Edit: Yeah, it appears both of these were brought up by others and addressed before me, woops!
Cryptids.
I hope we will see more Honey Flitter in the future, love her!
Love the new look! It's unique and leans more masculine without being an instant solution to his situation.
Oh and yeah, Flitter is great.
Well, if Kieran need a personal guard, we found a great recruit to both help him grow and protect him.
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It's technically a spoiler, but not really since this is 15 years after the show and the majority of changelings aren't really evil anymore and if they are... crystal heart is around. But nobody in the story so far is a changeling. So I’m genuinely curious what brought about that theory? Was it Flitter you guys were suspecting? And if so, what specific part about the interaction? It's a fascinating thing for me, because changelings didn't even cross my mind. Just curious lol.
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Smoke got off easy because of Kieran. Brisk never got the chance for that same intervention because Shining heard him directly, rather than hearing from Kieran after Brisk had already left. Honestly, good thing too, because after what happened with Smoke I think Kieran would have been reluctant to speak up about anyone else saying similar things, and without even the limited intervention done with Smoke there was a risk of escalation as feelings would be left to fester in Brisk and the other trainees who have family in the guard. Speaking of, there's also the fact that Smoke is an actual guard, an officer at that, while Brisk was a trainee. Actually, did Smoke get off easy? Maybe I'm misremembering but didn't Smoke get demoted? I think that's harsher than just sending some mouthy greenhorn home with a a professional advisement to shape up.
d.furaffinity.net/art/kturtle/1307095209/1307095209.kturtle_helmethorn.jpg
At least it's an easy way to tell the two apart.
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not enough in my opinion
I love Flitters design, she's adorable! I hope she becomes Kieran's personal body guard in the future.
Thanks for the chapter!
I have a feeling this won’t be the last time we hear from Brisk (and maybe his friends). The fact he seems rather scared of his father doesn’t bode well either…
Honey Flitter should become Kieran's personal guard!
BTW...
I think you meant impulsively.
Nothing gives you the feeling of power like your mere presence getting someone fired.
Love the chapter. Love the art.
Your missing a page break after Shinings talk with the 2 guards, and before Kieren is talking to Flitter. Didn't notice the sceen had changed at first and thought the guard was saying Shining was the second coming of Discord.
Interesting that she said there wasn't currently any need for "castle guards". Probably how Twilight's castle needed no guards before Starlight made herself at home? 😈
Ironic that he effectively pledged what Shining swore in a private setting, with no prompting. Harmony at work!
Mystery ten meter column of light lasting seconds in the Badlands? Perhaps Kieran isn't the only one imported here.
Curly hair is so hard to work with without force.
Mmmm, much as I wanna like Flitter, problem with OCs, her characterization kind of came across as all over the place before settling on one of those dominating action heroine types that make an ass out of guys for breakfast. (rolls eyes)
First you had her be awkward then Kieran identifies her as a quiet, gentle mare (which could be something she grew into given her stated size) then she's cracking jokes/teasing Kieran, and given his reactions and needing to correct him you'd think she'd know to stop given she apparently has many young siblings who may not understand when she's teasing, then finally we get to her...heroic moment where she apparently can brush off having a crush on a bully and even casually laying into him, disregarding the no mean bone in her body or couldn't hurt a fly inner remarks of Kieran...And even coming out of their shell can only explain away so much...Certainly faster than Fluttershy.
I like the idea of her being more sensitive of her size, having gotten potentially bullied about it when she was younger (from the image you provided she appears to have Twilight's Alicorn stature, if not taller than even THAT) and that could explain her earlier awkwardness upon meeting Kieran in the earlier chapter which is a far cry from how she is in this one...
Bottom line is if Honey Flitter were to come back, you may need to decide what her personality is like, once and for all. I like the idea of Honey Flitter being Kieran's personal guard [the different sizes is also a funny symbolism] who he teases to better coax out of her shell but they're both awkward and Kieran doesn't necessarily need a babysitter/big sister figure who's wiser and knows automatically how to better make him feel better, but a an equal, a friend, and...Wise kickass babysitter's kind of what I came away with here...
As respectively constructively critiquing as possible, I promise! :P
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I will say everything you said is 100% a fair take.
The only real thing I can say is: you havent gotten much about her yet to make many assumptions. And I sorta did that on purpose, since the entire chapter is about Kieran and not suposed to be Flitter. Yes I intend to do something with her, but she only needed to be in this chapter to provide a means of Kieran embracing his new life, and to give him a manecut.
Obviously, Kieran is supposed to see her as this action heroine figure for him, the girl who does it all. It's a first person story, so Kieran recounts it in whatever way he pleases. And since she did everything in that way, yeah he's going to praise her. Whether he was right about half of his very early assumptions about her: (being shy/timid/unable to hurt a fly) is up to us to decide. We can obviously see Keiran's assumptions were wrong now. We haven't had an explanation as to why, but we know there's more to Flitter after all of that then just a Fluttershy clone.
I specifically didn't want to get too deep into Flitter's backstory and personality, because it's not the time and the place in the story for it. So if you see her as some random mare that pep-talked Kieran, cut his hair, and saved him from bullies like some superwoman, then you're pretty much mentally exactly where I expected people to be.
Since it can be assumed already with what's been given I'll write it, but spoiler warning just in case: Flitter for Kieran this chapter was essentially the exact ideal older sibling type, she was specifically given such a spotlight as a complete antithesis to Damon. This chapter doesn't touch on it very much, but it was an extremely eye-opening comparison for Kieran. That's all i'll say.
Basically my defense comes down to one chapter isn't enough time to judge her yet. But if you don't like that, or the ways she's characterized, then I completely understand. Could I have written her introduction chapter better? Probably, but I tried my best! I promise I've already decided everything about her character, she isn't a half-ass Mary Stue OC.
Thanks for the critique, they are quite fun for me to tackle and they make me think in very different ways.
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Hmm, there is much Kieran can deduce and be wrong about, I won't deny that. It's what wasn't missed, you know what I mean? Flitter going from a blushing, awkward not-quite-stalker to the cool big sis...Kieran's POV being wrong can only do so much when a character's own actions do the other half of the battle.
I will be very much interested to know about what all Kieran missed about Flitter as opposed to the parts he didn't as you imply. ;)
If you do manage to officially arrive at Flitter's personality, I'm curious what you have explained for this er, veritable array of characteristics we've witnessed.
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Any veritable amount of character traits can be arranged into a comprehensible character my friend.
Not trying to be rude at all I promise, but I think you're getting hung up on things Kieran specifically thought when he met her. I'll point out that she only acted shy and nervous when she thought Kieran was royalty. AND this was immediately after she just got caught staring at her crush.
Sorry, I forgot to point that out in my last reply.
Edit: Kieran has also never been treated like royalty by anybody, which also further pushes the confusion of both sides.
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True enough, just been on the receiving end of too many that the character becomes a caricature instead of an actual character. Happened to me before and other writers, even in the MLP show proper, I can't help but notice.
That last point admittedly does help. ;)
Just wanted to make sure I elaborated some on the finer points of my critiques is all, thank you for your patience. :D
Crazy pillars of light? Odd but I foresee it being important to the story late, how? I can only guess
I had to return to this because something just crossed my mind. The pranks that where pulled where literally the kind you expect in college.
Dyed hair? Simple check. Glueing thing's to the ground? Seen a guy get his phone super glued to his hand. Ice road and calling for help? Marble, softener sheets, or just plain and yelling that the building's on fire. Giant snow bolder? *Sigh* yes when life gives a trailer park with a 30 degree angle roads you can bet someone is going to try rolling a ball of snow down it. That someone was me and I'm lucky I didn't break any cars when the if slammed into one
More than understandable, though I only brought this up because I wanted to see Cadence reactions upon the idea. And I have to admit, that kierans new look excedes my expections quite a bit.
I suspect you'll se her sooner than you think
Aw!
Two chapters of Honey Flitter, and I already love her :3
BACK AWAY FROM HIM!
Wow so flitter is really big huh
I'm enjoying this story and flitter should be Kieran's bodyguard
This was a delightful chapter. Honey Flitter is great, and Kieran getting a new look that's a bit more affirming without being unrealistic or feeling forced was really good.
That bed is a severe health and safety hazard! Springs ricochetting about could really hurt somepony. They're lucky nopony got hit by it. It wouldn't look good on the guard if some of their members were hospitalised by faulty equipment and lack of proper maintenance and safety management.
Me too Kieran, me too
MC might have saved Flitter a lifetime of relationship issues with that guy. Good value for the haircut, I say.
Intrigued about the marvel sky beam down by Appleloosa.
Make that mare a castle guard, Shinning!