- Member Since 13th Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 10 hours ago
Darth Severus
Brony, Star Wars nut, Former Marine, BA in English, minor in creative writing, OCD and on the Autistic Spectrum
Darth Severus
Joined 13th Jun, 2017 ·
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Darth Severus · 2.2k words · 443 views
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I'm not trying to say any action in this story is right or wrong, I'm just guessing at potential consequences
I'm not a lawyer but I'm pretty sure she could be charged with:
-breaking and entering
-willful destruction of property and if the bull has pedigree that could easily be tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars and potentially a felony
-animal cruelty and honestly she'll probably get blamed for the beating and whipping as well also probably a felony
she could be looking at ~15 years in prison
also between the AJ is in prison labor shortage, loss of reputation, and animal rights activists Sweet apple acres could go out of business.
11572830
All fair points, but the same could be said for the original, since in the original version, her boyfriend essentially did the exact same thing, but even more gruesome, he carved the words "WARNING: RAPIST" into the bull's dick
11572858
I'll be honest I read this one first. you're not wrong though.
So...
Guy started poisoning cats. Since the neighbors knew who it was, he got mobbed by a masked crowd. Without any of them saying a single word, they arranged a hospital vacation for him. Due to a lack of evidence, nobody was arrested.
That was one of the missing parts of your story. Then there is the rape part "limping", and the revenge making no sense, the two combined... The problem is the plot itself. All those kinks could probably have been included in a story arranged differently.
Oh well...
11578054
Fine, I'll admit, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I was given help, as put in the main description, so if it's still really bad, IDK what to do about it, and at this point IDEC what people think of it, it's my story, if I like it, that's all that matters to me, but if you think you can edit it, be my guest, PM me and I'll give you a link to the Google doc
11578062
Now my head is full of stupid bread allegories I'm ashamed of. I wanted to encourage 
Eh. I'd just end up with something else with the same warning tags. Twist it like a pretzel. Over two years or so.
kneadingflexibility during planning and creativity as always. maybe you got something out of it.Was bummedGotta go eat.