• Member Since 13th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen 8 minutes ago

Darth Severus

Brony, Star Wars nut, BA in creative writing, OCD and on the Autistic Spectrum

Comments ( 100 )

"She told me that he's entering heat, and that dragon heat is more extreme than pony heat

It also apparently affects males, which heat normally doesn't.

I look forward to seeing how the girls handle Spike

The idea isn't new, but it is a nifty take on it. Instead of Spike directly forcing himself, the mares decide for themselves. But, there's not a whole lot of storytelling here and the characters seem very willing to just let themselves be ravaged by a dragon without a second thought.

I'm not going to downvote this because it's obvious you're still learning, but I'd recommend you put a bit more time and attention into fleshing out the characters and giving us a reason to believe they'd agree to this craziness.

Thanks for the advice, I thought that might be an issue, but I wasn't exactly sure on how to address it. If you have any ideas on how to make it so they don't just agree without thinking it over,I'd appreciate it.

Pretty sure it is. I'm also pretty sure this story is on fanfiction.net and has been on here before, but was taken down.

Wait what? What's Palcomix? If somebody else has written a story similar to this, this is the first I've heard of it

Palcomix is a hentai comic writer( idk if he does other work, this is all I know him for). Also the fanfiction.net story is called Dragon Mating Season by King Spike Rules. While not word for word the same as the doujinshi, I guess I'll call it, it hits most of the important points.

Thanks for that, I didn't know about either of them, I had just seen some clopfics of Spike forcing himself on the girls, and I wanted to do my own take on it, I didn't realize there was a story already out there like it. Any ideas on how I can change the girls' ideas so that they don't match the ideas in the hentai thing?

Maybe. Another user mentioned this, but the main 6 seem a little too eager to let spike have his way with them. I get that they want to help h, but it seems like, at the very least Fluttershy should be hesitant about the situation.

As for what they do for the act themselves, that's a bit more tricky. Rainbow's was the only setup that made me raise an eyebrow at what they did. Most of the others at least seemed in character for them.

Another Spike harem story where the six having their "romantic and sometimes a little kinky" thoughts and Twilight who's going first to have his "dragon". You don't know how happy I am to praise you for this start. :heart:

As the group started worrying about getting pregnant, Fluttershy said, "Don't worry about that, I'm pretty sure dragons and ponies aren't compatible in that way." When they all came to the realization that they forgot about that, they laughed nervously.

I wish I you hadn't done that or I would of said otherwise. ^w^ :trollestia:

Aww man I thought someone finally made an approved FiMFICTION story based on both the comic and the FanFiction original. :pinkiesad2::pinkiesad2::fluttercry::fluttercry:

Comment posted by RedX-100 deleted Sep 25th, 2017

I just looked it up, and I didn't know it was that similar to what I had written, I'm going to try to think of a way to make it more original

Wait a minute...
I read those lines from somewhere...

Holy plagiarism, Batman.

This story is very similar to Palcomix's comic series. There is no shame in being inspired by it but I think to avoid plagiarism, alter the scenes and fetishes of the Mane 6 a bit.

The synopsis alone makes this story sound like many other stories on this website with the exact same premise. I've ever only seem one story that changes the formula even a little bit. It had R63. It was just a small change, not enough to make the story really any different.

This is the freaking comic.

Ok people, I get it. I was unaware this was already a comic. I will make changes to it so it doesn't sound like I'm plagiarizing somebody else's story, so just let it go already

I'm not 100% sure yet. I did read the comic, and based on what I read, four of the six I picked out are basically the same things as Palcomix did. If anybody has ideas for something I can replace the fantasies of Twilight, Rarity, Dash, and AJ with, that's be great.

Twilights fantasy could be where spike is the proffesor who twilight bribes with her body to get a better grade, rarity could be the princess that needs saving by knight who she rewards later. That's what I have for now.
Is that good?

THIS HISTORY, IS ONE COMIC the placomix and In addition to this story is a fanfic of an author known as king spike rules, with the name of Dragon Mating Season, if you do not believe here is the link. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10201881/1/Dragon-Mating-Season

Maybe Twilight could be a librarian instead of a teacher and they have some fun after Spike "accidentally" looks up her skirt after she "fell" on him when she was organizing books.
Rarity could still be a slight Femdom but she wants to get riled up after Spike maybe
Rainbow Dash could still be the exhibitionist but they have some risky public fun in a park or during a buckball game and finish up at rainbow's place.
Fluttershy could still have some shower fun but instead of having food served on her naked body, they have a nice relaxing dinner at her place where she gets food and drinks spilled on her and asks Spike to clean her.
Applejack could still be the one who wants to be tied up and gets some rough sex from Spike.
Pinkie Pie could just be the straight up clop fun.

Also in later chapters background characters could have a chance with Spike. Like Gilda who secretly catches Spike and Rainbow doing it, Saffron cooking a meal from Spike which ends in having some fun on the dinner table. Also, Celestia could be the adopted mother of Spike and develops a serious son complex after watching the videos and wants a piece of the action, Luna would also be Spike's adopted aunt and adores him (he's also her video game partner) and when she sees the videos she gets a bit jealous and decide.

Hello. :pinkiehappy: Then like the other authors. I also repeat that this story and chapter plays the comic in Palcomix :fluttershyouch:. But I do not intend to plagiarize you any more. :twilightblush: I think you could do one thing. A chapter that can reproduce and maybe stretch some scenes and add something and make a second or a third chapter how to say to explain :pinkiehappy: it well since I'm a translator hurt writing I explain how I mean or if I want to explain to PM.
I'll follow your story.
Here is how I wanted to tell the author your idea and a good example. Practically playing the 'day' with one routine sounded bad. But making two or three of them sharing them in the chapter might be fine. I approve of your idea and surely the author will share our thoughts.

Comment posted by GuardianofRoin deleted Sep 25th, 2017

He knows and is working around to edit it and not make it exactly the comic.

Please people, if you're just going to do nothing but keep reminding me that this story has already been written by a hentai company, just leave. I FUCKING GET IT! :flutterrage: I didn't know the comic existed until somebody made me aware of it, so just stop it.

I personally have no problem if you were to continue your original concept even if it duplicates elements of the Palcomix comic. It's literature and draws with words the story-line within our minds. Besides it would be a decent read as apposed to a short 2 minute comic. And you'd add extra stuff that isn't in the comic anyway.

Stuff you could add..
It didn't mention the mental transition as Spikes mind awakens to his new sensation and how he views the girls in a lusty way so you could add that.
The incest aspect could be a pseudo type of incest by having twilights mom arrive , maybe spy on some action, gets turned on and later trying to not get involved gets seduced or throws herself at him to the consternation of twilight when she finds out.
Zecora could be involved and try to calm his hormones with a potion that doesn't work.

There are three short concepts to work with.

You know what would be a good twist to this? that it's all 100% BS; completely made up by Spike and Celestia to get him laid

I like the idea with Zecora, but as an added twist, what if the potion does the opposite of what she was trying to do and it's a 'blue potion'?

Hmm, that could work. A Blue potion. Or he taints the potion that it affects everyone in the room as well as himself? Yours actually sounds better.

For some added elements, could have maybe Zecora make a potion that was supposed to calm his senses but instead doubles or triples his stamina and semen production. Zecora gets into the fun and becomes addicted to him. The potion could also turn a lady's body into the perfect voluptuous form.
Could also do Gilda challenging Spike to a wrestling match in which she pins him down and begins her femdom fun with him.
Daybreaker assuming physical form and is seeking a mate to clam her centuries held-back heat and Spike is the only one who is able to satisfy her.
Could also have Celestia as his adopted mother and when she see's those videos, she develops a serious son-complex.

Excellent role-play between the two

Nice change in the role-play. How goes the plans for the next chapters?

I'm thinking of doing something involving pet-play for the Rarity Chapter. I'm still thinking on how Rainbow Dash's exhibition would be more risky, so I'm probably going to use your idea and have them do it in a more public place, rather than the back of a restaurant or a movie theater with few people in it

Good choice. Though how would be the pet in the Rarity chapter?
Also I curious, as soon as the Mane 6 are done do you intend to use other characters like Celestia and Luna or Zecora?

Spike would be the pet, and yes, I'm going to use other characters once I finish with the Mane Six, although Gilda might show up in the Rainbow Dash chapter

Cool, you taking my suggestion that Gilda might catch Spike and Rainbow doing it?

Most definitely. :)
Though, in my mind for the idea, I'm not sure if Gilda would pleasure herself while watching Spike and Rainbow or would later join them.

I'm thinking of making her pleasure herself and get caught by Rainbow Dash and Spike, caught somebody while they were catching you XD

Look, I have no real complaints about this being an adaptation, but you cannot expect me to believe you never heard about it because of the similarities.

The entire "what about us" scene is ripped straight from the comics, including rarity's interjection at the end. The entire "is anyone here a virgin" discussion is word for word present in the comic as well. Not to mention the order in which the mane 6 are going to have sex with spike is identical, as well as twilight needing "sexy outfits" from rarity.

And the whole "celestia videotape" is annother weirdly specific simularity.

Doing an adaptation of the comic, or even putting your own spin on it, is fine by me. Just don't try to say that this is 100% original, because it CLEARLY isn't.

Edit: sorry I just realized that whole spiel sounded kinda hostile. I like this idea and I actually kind of hated how the palcomix version felt so fake and not true to the show, so I'm glad this story is shaping up to be something different.

But yeah, this first chapter is just scenes straight from the comic.

I might have read the comic and forgot about it, my memory isn't as good as it should be. I understand that there's a comic, and I am trying to make it sound more original, but I appreciate the constructive criticism, instead of just stating the fact that it's based on the comic. If you have any ideas on how to make it more original, or if you think the ideas I've come up with are original enough, that's fine too

Comment posted by Ekhidna deleted Jun 22nd, 2017

From now on, anyone who keeps posting comments hating on how similar it is to the comic will have their comments deleted, I'm sick of people getting worked up over a mistake.

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