• Member Since 19th Apr, 2023
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Exotic Butter


Even though English is not my native language, I try to make my stories make sense.

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No one ever thought that in the first half of the 21st century, a planet called Equus was being watched by an intelligent species that had a technological advantage over them. 

For decades, this species has studied the movement of earthlings and the planning of occupying a piece of land for their needs. 

Thanks to their technology, they discovered who inhabits it, who rules it, and who would be ideal for their plan. 

This land was called Equestria. And a war of such magnitude had begun in this country that the Lord of Chaos himself could say that he was overwhelmed. 

This is a story about three mares who are different and seperate, but have a same goal; Survive and protect.

Are you ready to join their journey and see the 'War Of The Worlds' by their eyes?


The cover is from Ebenezer42 defgzrt from DeviantArt, where I...borrowed...this nice pic called; Fire and Ice for this story.

This story contains videos with Sounds Effects and song!


Update(S):
For now on hiatus, because i ran out of ideas. But it doesn't mean I'll put it aside, no. I'll be working on the (which i hope) last chapter, but it'll be very slow.

Chapters (22)
Comments ( 7 )
Comment posted by vectorVll deleted May 22nd, 2023

Ok so first of all, I don’t think anyone is going to think you are copying me, not because your not popular or I’m not popular, it’s because the War of the worlds is a story that isn’t touched upon in this site almost like…AT ALL. But other than that I don’t see any issues here, but I will say this, you are better then me when it comes to writing, maybe I’ll rewrite my first chapter….

So far you got the mystery of the cylinder down, I have to give praise to you, when the martians arrived in my story they immediately started attacking, looking back at it I realized that I should’ve drowned out the arrival a bit more but hey, now as for mistakes:

“What in the Celestia…?”

I think you should remove ‘the’ and leave it as “what in Celestia?”

But I have to admit that it took a few years for her to be accepted at the base, which was only a few kilometers from Ponyville. But she did it.

This is more minor then anything, but the beginning of this sentence implies that someone is narrating, unless if that’s the implication then I suggest that you change it, but then again it’s minor so changing it isn’t really gonna do much, and not changing it isn’t gonna do much either.


Other then that I don’t see any problems, so far it’s pretty good, certainly better then my opening that’s for sure.

Comment posted by Exotic Butter deleted Jun 29th, 2023
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