• Member Since 31st Mar, 2023
  • offline last seen Last Friday

BurgerFanMan


Loves burgers and Command & Conquer

T

This story is based on the Rise of the Reds overhaul mod for Command & Conquer Generals. However, no knowledge of the game or mod is required to read the story.

Cancelled, terribly sorry.

The mission was simple; investigate the strange radio signal originating in Antarctica before any other military force could reach it.

The United States of America sent an aircraft carrier loaded with troops and drones.
The European Continental Alliance deployed their orbital mechanised infantry QRF as soon as they were within range.
The Chinese Red Guard simply packed a large ferry with as many soldiers, vehicles, and equipment as they could.
The Russians launched a fleet of cargo transport aircraft escorted by fighter jets.

Every single one of these units lost contact with their respective militaries at exactly 9:00 AM, on the 6th of August, 2045. Instead they found themselves struggling to survive in a world they did not recognise or understand, a world much different than theirs.

Can they go home?
Do they even want to?

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 43 )

interesting , I'll keep an eye on this !

11549606
Don't worry GLA fans, you'll get your Jarmen Kell ;)

You know, I actually hope that Equis/Equestria didn't become so war-scarred like Earth was. :pinkiesad2:

But that's just wishful thinking. Considering how wacky and chaotic Command and Conquer is. :pinkiecrazy:

It looks like Russia will be at a disadvantage when it comes to talking diplomacy with Equestria after what they've just done to that civilian.

11568209
Thanks for commenting :D. It actually won't affect their diplomatic relations too much, as you'll see later on. (I meant to include the plot point that explains why in this chapter but it got too long, so it'll be in the next Russia chapter!)

Really happy to see a Generals fic! I'll be keeping tabs on this story for sure. Can't wait to see what shenanigans the GLA get up to.

It's good that the human forces were kept small, giving ponies chance to fight back if anything happend.

11584029

Who's side are you on?

Besides, the ponies will quite likely suffer heavily casualties by the superior tech from humanity.

Well, the Europeans, or the Americans, or the Chinese, or the GLA, or the [REDACTED], or perhaps even their very own secret police. It was hard to tell what with each faction having a similar procedure when interrogating officers. Rujy tried to think back to how he'd got here, but everything past falling asleep on guard duty was blurry.

Redacted!? Is the Brotherhood of Nod somehow in this frickin universe too?

Queen Chrysalis smiled coldly. "Yes, and you are feeble, hairless minotaurs which tore their world into several factions based on nothing but ideology."

Oh shut the f*** up bug! Like you are "morally" better either. You love being a villain yourself, so you don't have the "moral high ground" in this. :ajbemused:

And just one of these human "factions" can quite easily decimate your entire hive, so watch your freaking mouth, insect. :pinkiecrazy:

11584109
The only thing I can say at this time is 'Burgers'.

Who are the [Redacted] you keep sprouting about? This isn't SCP.

11595210
Well, it's not related to SCP in any way but uhhh minor plot spoiler which may degrade your reading experience:
This is going to more of a recurring joke than a serious plot device, although I will address who/what [REDACTED] actually is later on

Burger you are a nerd. Also good story :thumbsup:

Arshad rolled around quickly in horror, raising the rifle, but was stopped by a heavy hoof smashing into his forehead.

well he dead wonder what happened

Glad to see the GLA! I'm enjoying your story so keep up the good work!

11609153
Thank you very much, I'm glad you're enjoying!

You're combat writing ✍️ wasn't bad:moustache:

11614701
Aw, thanks. It felt a bit tough writing from the perspective of a commander rather than a soldier, and definitely much harder when rifles are at play rather than awesome ninja-sword-fighting-stuff :pinkiecrazy:

11615049
U know I never ask this to authors but are u a guy? Sorry I just never questioned anyone gender with their Usernames.

11615332
Alright. See has any readers ever asked the the author if they were a guy or a girl? I mean u answered mine but I'm just curious

11615338
I don't think so. I mean at the end of the day it doesn't matter what gender the author is, does it?

I feel like it could be explained better on how the whole GLA force was captured. How come the whole force was up on the roof instead of trying to secure some of the carriages?

11631063
Now that you mention it, I forgot to explain their plan.

Basically they just wanted to hijack the train without alerting the passengers. When they discovered that there's ponies on the train, this shifted from "Hijack the train" to "Find out what the hell is going on without having to engage in a massive firefight". So they tried to reach the front engine carriage of the train.

Rujy breathed in. "Who was the pony we killed at the farm? Why hasn't anyone mentioned it?"

The Nightguard Corporal blinked. "Straight to the point, eh? Well, if you really want to know, that was Honest Hooves, a vigilante. He tried to assassinate Queen Chrysalis, and managed to kill a couple of her changelings in the process. She got pissed off and asked us to turn him over." The Nightguard sighed. "We're doing our best to avoid another conflict, on request of Princess Twilight, so we agreed to help her hunt down Honest Hooves as long as she did it quietly and without harming anyone else. We couldn't alert the Royal Guard- they'd want a proper trial in court, which doesn't consider changelings to have the same rights as ponies."

"So you found us by pure coincidence?"

"Exactly. Queen Chrysalis personally asked us to forgive you for the murder. Seeing as we can't exactly try you for it, we did."

You wouldn't "tried" against the Red Army anyway, or you will regret it big time.

11647164
Yeah, not a great idea to try to drag a random alien species with big guns and tanks to court

The Major raised his front hoof in indignation, "I'll have you know, Lieutenant Colonel, that our arsenal is perfectly modern and effective at fighting off any threat. Although your armaments may seem superior, they're quite similar to that of the griffons; we've won against them repeatedly before. Swords, lances, and shields are simply better for our style of fighting."

My honest reaction:

11661628

I like to see him shit himself when he saw that superior firepower of humanity!!!!! :pinkiecrazy: :ajsmug:

I don't like the tone of those ponies

Oh Lord, they're just the British in disguise.

BROOO WHY IS THAT SO DAMN FUNNY

Chrysalis/Changelings are on very thin ice here on aggravating the Russians.

It will be her own damn fault for her own kind to be extinct if she does mess with the Russians.

I mean, messing with one of the main human factions from Command and Conquer is a very huge mistake!


Also still get confused on WHY the Batponies are working with the Changelings? Heck, you said that they might know about the Chariot Wedding Invasion before it happened, but didn't do anything to stop it?

If that wasn't treason, then I don't know what is!!??

BTW, where are the Chinese? I don't see a single chapter focusing on them?

11691154

If that wasn't treason, then I don't know what is!!??

If you think that's treason, imagine what the Royal Guard would think of it...

BTW, where are the Chinese? I don't see a single chapter focusing on them?

The Chinese are there, somewhere, but they won't be getting a POV- at least, not yet. I decided four POVs are enough to handle, and any more would seriously overcomplicate things. Especially on top of all the other factions like the Changelings and Nightguard, each with their own side characters.

Thanks for reading!

The Major raised his front hoof in indignation, "I'll have you know, Lieutenant Colonel, that our arsenal is perfectly modern and effective at fighting off an y threat. Although your armaments may seem superior, they're quite similar to that of the griffons; we've won against them repeatedly before. Swords, lances, and shields are simply better for our style of fighting."

Humans likely lose because they had no nation. An army needed a nation to survice. The lack of the supply chain. No repair parts, no fuel, and only means of food supply is by pillage from locals. Manned by mostly low education crews.

Even then in the long run, they have no choice but to beg from Equss’s superpowers to reverse engineer their stuff and manufacture part for them in order to even maintain their tech.

The story was going strong, until the last quarter of this chapter 2. Every word at that point felt like it was rushed.

I know you are eager to get the culture shock on the ponies, based off your Humvee 'strutting' through Manehatten's roads and the sense of human greatness waiting to be unleashed, but the execution and emotional cohesiveness feels off.

"'Your Highness'," corrected Gleaming Fangs, ", is the proper term for addressing a Princess." ...

... Jameson apologised for his error.

This is the first oddity. This is suppose to be one of the crucial dialogues, I dare say, in the whole fic. This sets the tone and what to expect from the story going forward: our protagonist's character.

Communication plays a humongous part of all stories, spoken or otherwise. The issue is that Jameson's line became a throwaway. This footnote essentially just deconstructed his personality and gives us nothing in return. The fact that he HAS a dialogue just after he invisibly apologised is even worst.

If he had to choose to apologise, it gives Jameson depth. It tells us that Jameson may or may not have diplomatic experience while attempting to keep up the charade of show of force, regardless if he broke down later.

Since he chose to apologise, there are many ways to go about it:

"Sorry. Your Highness."
"... apologies."
"... your Highness."

Then there is the non verbal aspect too. We could have Jameson either nonchalantly roll his eyes, remain stoic, forrow his brows in anger, bow his head in courtesy, or even have his body perform a twitch like we hit his pet peeves.

In the end, all we got is 'Jameson apologised for his error' instead of, 'Jameson softly gasped at the faux pas, "my mistake, your Highness."'

A lot of information gets compact in such a short sentence. If you are trying to rush to something, like all the shocks you ever want, I recommend a proper dialogue rather than brief descriptions. It allows the readers to build a connection or understanding of anyone.

I find it odd that he apologise without context. Imagine my face when he sudden spill everything for no reason. He could have said something about his recent encounter in the antarctic, but rather, he apparently went to great lengths about history which he apparently had the time to do this.

He just recently lost a leg. His bandage would have been leaking already and he is moving about as if the injury was from months/years ago.

Basically, you've missed the opportunity to get the readers really invested into the story, but instead, turned it into an info dump. This culture shock dialogue is one of the major point but it has been regaled to "Jameson explained about..."

We would love to see what shockingly human topic would be have brought up, especially since you are doing it as an info dump. Info dumps are boring until you dress them up; I skipped the history since it doesn't seem relevant or interesting.

He's my example of what could have been:

Jameson took a deep breath. "USS Discord was attacked by enemy strikes. They blew up the command tower. We would have been a blown up too because they didn't stop there, but..."

Jameson looked up. The princess looked impassive. From the corner if my eye, the navy officer still glared daggers my way. Jameson took another deep breath.

"... we didn't blow up. A flash of light and we appeared here." Jameson exhaled then looked back up.

11733919
Wow, thank you for all of that.

The thing is, I'm not a great writer in the slightest, and I'm still trying to figure out my 'voice' as they say as well as generally, well, how to write. And, yeah, there are a lot of missed opportunities here, especially earlier in the story, where I could have developed the characters more rather than continuously rushing along the story- which is one of my biggest mistakes so far. You're right- I should stop and take a look at how my characters' actions affect the reader rather than just how they simply push along the plot.

I am currently working on a revised version with which I hope to update all of the previous chapters at the same time, while still keeping to the current one-chapter-every-two-weeks schedule. It's a shame to have to ruin the experience of current readers but I feel it is necessary.

Thank you for taking the time to write out such a long comment, and sorry for the delayed response! Notifications failed to alert me :|

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