• Member Since 19th Oct, 2019
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

Creative Paradox


T

Hello my name is specimen 6 but everyone calls me 6 for short i was once a human female pegasusister but i met a guy that looked like mr. Wayland and i bought some stuff then got sent to equestria as a chest burster and well turns out I bursted out of my previous body and to make matters worse I am in a research facility were changelings have killed all the ponies by breeding xenomorphs so yeah when I get out I'm gonna do my best to kill/harvest all who are responsible for the deaths of the equestrians and I'm not alone in this [displaced fic]

Chapter 1-5 are the prologue to ark-1 of the story and the displaced crossover's won't happen till chapter 6 ark-1. So I hope you all enjoy the story and have a great day. :twilightsmile:

I don't own avp or mlp other than oc's

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 37 )

interesting. If I may suggest, make paragraphs for easier reading.

LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :pinkiehappy:

Love the old game and really loved this chapter would like to see more

I love playing AVP on the Xbox 360 it was best game wish they make a long alien campaign

This will be a very good story.

What happened to spike?

I really liked this story, Please continue with the good job. Thanks for the chapter :D

Always been interested in the AvP game this is will you be putting a predator in this or just the xenos

10759194
there will be predators but not until later.

Nice that would be rather interesting to see I foresee many a changing having their heads ripped off

Two main issues. Your sentences are too long & lacking some proper grammar, making it hard to read. Also, the story is far too much a cookie-cutter of the game. There are other minor points, but I'll focus on these two.

For the first, I suggest tossing each paragraph (if not the whole chapter) into a word editor & letting it show you what corrections could be made. Microsoft Word is an obvious choice for this, but there are other free bits of software you can do this with. Even some that use a web browser so you're not actually downloading anything. Having a proof reader helps, but there is still quite a bit getting through, leaving the whole chapter a bit rough.

For the second, the first chapter can be excused, but from the second or third chapter on, it really should divert off of the games story line. Similar events can certainly still happen, such as the predators arrival, but otherwise it's just a 90% written copy of the game with some names changed. This may be interesting to some, but most others will just get bored & drop your story the moment they realize that is what's happening. If you don't consider yourself to be the greatest of writers & / or one with an imagination strong enough to divert much from the games story (which there is NO SHAME in either), then at least put a notice on the stories front page to give a warning. You mentioned that the first few chapters are a prologue, but that isn't quite the same. Example below:
[This story / these first chapters more or less follow the events of the AvP Game]
This can warn readers that the story or first few chapters will feel very familiar for anyone who has played the game, reducing the chance that they'll be disappointed upon discovering it themselves.

Otherwise, your story is interesting enough & I'll be watching for the next chapter to see where things go. I'm personally curious about these Queens born from the Alicorns.

My apologies if what I've said came off as cold or harsh.

10791600
It's ok, I actually have a answer for the fic being like the game the first 5 chapters follow the game mostly. But at the end of the 5th chapter this go differently and I have something likely no one will suspect. Just bare with me for a little while and you'll see what I mean once the 5th chapter comes out. Also sorry about the grammar I've never been good about that and my old editor prity much quit on me and I haven't been able to find anyone willing to help me.

Most interessting :rainbowdetermined2:
I expected actualy that you play out the game story than crashland on Equestria with or without other Xenomorphs.
Since you have a Phoenix feather even a total destruction of all lifeforms on the Science Vessel you rise from the ashes of the crash landed wreck...

10732429
It needs really some edits here or there.
10732476
Indeed. A good start. I wonder why the Author killed off everyone... Its simpler to start decades, centuries or millenia before MLP storyline...
10732510
Really love the mod that allows you to plax Singleplayer campain co-op up to 4 players. Only downside is no respawn if you die... Also singelplayer campaign co-op mods has no balance. In short:
Marines basicly run out of ammo very often & if your not careful game triggers might lock players in areas.
10732560
Meh... PC MASTERRACE since we have mods for days.
Soundtrack/ soundenviroments / co-op mods and even self made missions :pinkiehappy:
10732590
Looks like it. I hope at least it will.
10738580
Its nice but i really dont see the point killing of everyone :duck:
10759194
Personaly i think replaying the game and narration of it would be a nice 'pre story' wile crashing the science vessel into Equis would be the start of the story...

10808314
I never expected to see you here

10808322
Xenomorph are almost as awesome as Changelings.
One of the reasons i love AVP. There are some good xeno storys out there in Fimfiction :twilightsmile:

10809783
Okay. A friend of mone made 2 xenomorph stores on fanfiction, which I thought to make a mlp crossover to it one day

10809786
There are why to few good ones. Maybe i see it in the search list one day :twilightsmile:

There is a displaced story on 'Six' out there.
I recommend it :rainbowkiss:
Maybe both displaced Six can meet one day :coolphoto:
10759304
They must have a field day with all the Changelings running around. The hunt will gain the unblooded younglings a lot of prestige.
10759376
There are many trophys to be made. MUHAHAHAAA!

10809796
i could tell you more of you like

Hive was my longest match with 4 hours. Had to wrap it up because the Host didnt expected me to survive that long :rainbowlaugh:
Good times...

Did you guys know the game has co-op campaign? It was buggy last i checked but it was still funny :coolphoto:

Well done. I'm enjoying this story a lot. Dont take my criticism as a negative thing. Writing is like Music and Art, it takes hours of practice to get good at it. Lots of broken guitar picks and lots of wasted canvas. You get better through practice.

The Monk
"Yes, I will eat the Fear Turkey." -Illua

10848895
Thank you for the advice, and a lot of reasons to why my story has a lot of errors is because my proofreader/editor bailed on me halfway through the story so I had to do everything else by myself.
But I'm glad you enjoy it, as a side note once it reaches ch.5 is were the real story begins because the first 5 chapters are basically the game. Pritty much being the prologue of the overall story.

How's it going. And how far is the next chapter?

10854007
Google Doc's is great for correction of general mistakes.
10862216
Great question :fluttershysad::fluttershyouch:

When will the next chapter be released? I wanna read how far Six has progressed now that she had freed the Queens from captivity. Also, will Celestia live instead of getting burned to death, will Six become next in line for the throne on Equestria instead of on a ship, and will Queen Chrysalis die by her hand?

Im about to read this but I already can see where this is gonna go since your planning for crossovers at chapter 6+
Plus the fact you're doing crossovers at all, fun

10854007
When's the next chapter? I only ask because I am a HYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE fan of the Aliens franchise.

New chapters ?????

Continue please

nice can't wait to see more soon keep up the good work:heart:

10732476
And that was only the first chapter :rainbowkiss:
10732510
Ever played AvP2 plus Add on? That was fun :yay:
- Marines with up to three Sentryguns free to be deployed.
Predators with self destruction ability when they reach 10% or less.
- Xenomorph... Em... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway if one uses the UMP - Ultimative Map Pack one get over 300 new multiplayer maps and some of them are extreamly high developed.

One is a full functional base where airstrikes can be called outside the front section on the base where the alien can attack from. The aliens can tunnel underground inside the hive ( alien spawn point) to avoid them. The Marines have multible defenses in place to protect the front so the aliens attack don't destroy the front gate. Once the alien breach the front section the marones can retreat into the base that has sentry gun employment. The sentry guns can be deactivated by destroying the main power of the base. Marines can delay that with welding the vents shut before aliens breach the main entry section.
At the core of the map us a map room tracking alien movements, perfect for a coordinated counter attack from rhe marine side.

A brave marine might fight his way to the front entry to sctivate the Emergency power generator to restsrt the Sentry gun defense system.

The last stand of the marines was usualy near the maproom/command center or the armory...
Good times... Good times...

10732560
10759194
Pc versions are more fun with mods. Especially the fan made campaign of AvP2 and the addon Primal Hunt.
Good times... Good times...
10732590
Really hope so, my other favorit Xenomorph storys are completed or on hiatus...
10733066
He probably get ignored by everyone. Thats his special Talent :derpytongue2:
10733077
Unless... He isn't... DUN DUUN DUUUUUN! :rainbowderp:
10759304
How about females once? ♤
They are bigger and stronger usualy...
10791936
Looking forward to it :rainbowkiss:

Are you still writing?

11215087
yes, I'm just taking a break. Don't worry I'll be back soon.

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