Fluttershy returns home from school to her parents leaving her little brother, Zephyr Breeze, in her care for the night. Tired of being pushed around after a long day, she quickly grows frustrated and wishes for the Chaos King to take him away.
Which he does.
Now, Fluttershy is given twelve hours to prepare herself to handle the thrills, twists, and terrors found in the Labyrinth of Ponyville, make it through, and rescue Zephyr at the end - or else the Chaos King will have him forever.
This is obviously based on Labyrinth (1986), but I hope it is not too derivative of its source material - I have tried to keep the premise and nothing else. You may see parallels but the goal is to NOT simply rewrite it with ponies!
Note: Virtually no Fluttercord. Fluttershy is a teenager in this story and that's just kinda weird. Sorry.
No promises on an update schedule; I'm a student, so probably not very frequent. But I do have this story mostly planned out so hopefully that helps!
This is Labyrinth with David Bowie, isn't it?
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that's indeed the premise, but i'm hoping to make it very different like i said in the description!
DUUDE! Labyrinth is one of my FAVORITE movies of all time!!! This is amazing so far, can’t wait to see more!
Interesting start. I'm curious to see where this goes.
This is such a clever premise, it totally fits the characters! I love Labyrinth so I'm very intrigued. The first chapter has me hooked so I can't wait to see what direction you take with the story. Keep up the good work!
Interesting Idea and Discord taking the role of Jerith the Goblin King I like and Flutters being Sarah I can see. Honestly LET Discord/Jerith keep this one he can have Zephyr Breeze never liked him as a character
This isn't the 1st time I've seen this kind of thing I'm pretty sure that another 1 had this Premises Let's see what's the Different is
A lot of the time I struggle with reading fics, because they usually just feel like a literal retelling of events without character - like the franchise is the content rather than the medium. This, however, has a lot of character in it's writing. It's fun. Without much knowledge of Labyrinth, it's still enjoyable, and I'd wager it'd be pretty fun without much MLP knowledge too.
The characterisation of everpony is great so far as well, Discord especially. I had some dumb grin across my face every scene with Discord in. It's hard not to.
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thank you for that! sometimes i feel like my writing is very "She did this. Then, she did this other thing. And then after that this happened." so it makes me happy to hear that.
glad you think the characterization is okay too! i got a little worried at how assertive fluttershy was but she's got her motives and is likely being somewhat affected by chaos magic so i told myself it was okay