Not Fluttershy

by dunno

Rhyming Hitchcord

A deep breath, a hard push, and then there is light.

I lift my head, which is drawn by grief and time, to face what is coming for me, from the shunned, bright outside.

Boulders that hid the entrance fall with thunder, and I know, there is nothing to wonder, about who dares, yet again, disturb my mournful slumber.

I know for certain, that it is him. The earth pony, who has come here before. Hitch Trailblazer, a brave and good-looking colt, of course, once more.

"Your efforts are wasted, oh Sheriff of Maretime Bay," I say to him, my voice not lacking dismay. "Leave me alone, at once, be back on your way!"

In vain, for listening to me, he would most certainly not. As always, Hitch approaches instead, only shaking his head, slowly, but with a determined trot.

He can think of himself lucky, for he has such a nice plot.

With just a snip of my fingers, I could deport him home. Unfortunately, I'm never able to get it done. Too much, it would hurt, so I grant him to come. He shall remain the only one.

"Discord, you need to come out!" he says, sitting down, genuine concern heard in the tone. "The critters have told me, you've been here forever. Please, let me guide you, it will all become better!"

With his butter-yellow fur, and the kind light in his eyes, he reminds me so much, of what has been lost in time.

Fluttershy...

Your kind spirit, beautiful looks, and gentle touch. I miss it all so much! Taken, by what I'm denied, forever, I'll wish, you could have remained by my side.

And as I try lower my head in disgrace, it's brought right back up, close to his face, by the most gentle of hooves, just like that.

What did I do, to deserve such torment? Oh, right! There are one or two things, that might come to mind...

"Why are you doing this, day after day?" I ask, looking into amber-lit eyes, not trying to scare him away.

Hitch snickers, before he takes a small brush out of his bag. "Why can't you be glad? I only want to help somepony in need. I'm a chad, is it really that bad?"

As I lay there, on the cold floor in the cave, I let him brush my filthy brown fur and gray mane. Never averting his affectionate gaze, as I try to understand, the sheriff's inexplicable ways.

And as I look, deep into his eyes, I begin to wonder, what is this warmth building inside? The familiar comfort I feel, of having a pony, nice and kind, so close by my side.

He is not her, that I do know. Fluttershy will never be again, for she wanted it so. Still, with each passing day, I can not deny, my feelings for him grow, and I have to ask myself, why?

With a guilty mind, I turn my head to the side, looking at him, with just my half-closed right eye. "I'm the Spirit of Chaos, Disharmony as well. A friendship between us? It would not end well!"

"Now, come on, Discord! That's simply not true!" Hitch disagrees, still holding my head in his hooves. "I have read so much good, and it was all about you! Please, let me be your friend. I'm sure we'd pull through!"

Hitch gently strokes my face with his hoof. I embrace it, and without much restraint, I compensate the touch, brushing his lovely sides, with my tip of dragon tail fluff.

Realizing, with a crimson red head, I sit upright, with all the strength I can muster, now, looking down on him instead, starting to see the familiar, but unfortunate muster.

"It can not be, not now, not ever. Alone I shall live, it's what truly is better. For me, for you, and all ponykind. Never again, will I face what it means, to be left behind!" I say, turning around with my eyes out of his sight, making sure, he could not see, my upcoming plight.

I feel his caring stare on my back, and for a while, with no words spoken, it just stays like that.

"You might not be thinking the same at this time," Hitch starts speaking, suddenly hugging me from behind, and eliciting some squeaking, "but, you're deserving of love, there's no denying of mine!"

Grasping for air, I try to shake him loose. Is that pony out of his mind, did he have too much booze?

"I'm not your squeaky toy!" I say annoyed, with a half-serious look. "Please, be so kind, and let me off the hook."

He looks up at me, from behind my back, and the grin tells me, he's not considering, releasing this chaotic catch.

"You're under arrest! You have the right to remain silent," he says, leaving out the rest, holding me even tighter to his chest. "Don't resist, I warn you, I'm a darn good fighter!"

With a deep sigh, I refrain from resisting. I wonder in thought, how I had once been a villain. But mostly, I just indulge in his warmth, something I've been missing.

In thought, and barely audible, I suddenly speak my mind, "A close friendship with you? I don't think I'd mind..."

Of course, Hitch heard, and he turns me around. Joy in his glance and felt all around. "You mean it? Will you give this a chance?"

"Y... Yes, I mean it!" I say as I look down, turning my long-lasting frown upside down.

"Great, let's leave this here all behind, what do you want to do first, for our, ehm, candlelight?" he says in a rush, followed by slight crimson blush.

With a brightening mood, at the prospect of more, I answer him swiftly, "Well, a good pranking of course!"

"Oh!" Hitch exclaims, a devious grin forming on his face. "I might know a few ponies, who would make some pretty good prey!"

"Fantastic! Then let's not wait any longer." I say, with a loud pumping heart, feeling so much stronger. "And Hitch?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for rhyming!"

Author's Note:

Feedback appreciated.

Comments

[TheGreyCrow]

Cute. I want more of this

[dunno]

11405240
Thank you for liking, much fun it was writing! ;)

[TheGreyCrow]

Is there a fic where these two actually get shipped? If so how does one find it

[dunno]

11405259
There wasn't much when I searched with the same tags. One of the reasons I wrote it.
But I wouldn't be surprised if one will be written during the shipping contest.

[JSAR1562]

rude. I was enjoying the poetry then that last couplet

[dunno]

11405323
Thanks for the feedback!

Tried to show that there was some awareness, and Discord being happy that he went with it.
But I see that this might have backfired and people would have preferred consistency.

Tried to be funny, guess I'm a dummy :o

[JSAR1562]

11405336
no I approve it was exactly the discordian thing to do it just threw me for a loop well done

[dunno]

11406409
Oh, thank you for the follow-up then. I was unsure about that part myself, so you hit a trigger :D

Cheers

[Efadd]

"Thank's for rhyming!"

DAMMIT DISCORD! QUIT KICKING THE 4TH WALL!

Now go be gay, both of ya

[dunno]

11406509
Yes

[Miller Minus]

Maybe I don't know enough about rhyming and poetry and meter and etc, but the fact that there's no structure to it here made it difficult to read at points. I kept jumping back to look for what rhymed with the final word of a paragraph, sometimes finding no rhymes, sometimes finding the rhyme was in the middle of the previous sentence instead of the end, or the words don't rhyme super well (missing, resisting; forever, better; come, home?). I fear a rhyming story should flow better than this.

I think this is a cool attempt, though, and a great idea for a ship--given that Discord is immortal there's no (narrative) reason why he can't be "nursed back" to his former self by Hitch with a good amount of chaos. I liked the little details in there that Fluttershy isn't around because "she wanted it so" -- I love loaded sentences like that.

Thanks for writing!

[dunno]

11420672
Thanks for your feedback :)
I'll keep it in mind should I ever try to write something similiar again.

[Vivid Syntax]

Fascinating fic! I like the creativity on display here. The rhyming scheme seemed inconsistent at times, which I think distracts from the overall impact, but there were times where it was very effective. Nice work!

[Bicyclette]

In vain, for listening to me, he would most certainly not. As always, Hitch approaches instead, only shaking his head, slowly, but with a determined trot.

He can think of himself lucky, for he has such a nice plot.

ah, the wonderful fruits of a rhyming scheme!

With just a snip of my fingers, I could deport him home.

with any other character i would assume a typo here but this is definitely fitting for Discord

With his butter-yellow fur, and the kind light in his eyes, he reminds me so much, of what has been lost in time.

do love the “butter-yellow” here, evoking the upcoming “Fluttershy” in both color and rhyme

What did I do, to deserve such torment? Oh, right! There are one or two things, that might come to mind...

he does know himself too well!

"Why can't you be glad? I only want to help somepony in need. I'm a chad, is it really that bad?"

so true

He is not her, that I do know. Fluttershy will never be again, for she wanted it so.

oof, love how much implication is buried in these lines. this could have been an entire story by itself, and yet these two sentences hold all of the impact that thousands of words could. really impressed by this

Hitch gently strokes my face with his hoof. I embrace it, and without much restraint, I compensate the touch, brushing his lovely sides, with my tip of dragon tail fluff.

yessssss

"I'm not your squeaky toy!" I say annoyed, with a half-serious look. "Please, be so kind, and let me off the hook."

He looks up at me, from behind my back, and the grin tells me, he's not considering, releasing this chaotic catch.

"You're under arrest! You have the right to remain silent," he says, leaving out the rest, holding me even tighter to his chest. "Don't resist, I warn you, I'm a darn good fighter!"

damn does this FlutterCord reprise work amazingly well

"Fantastic! Then let's not wait any longer." I say, with a loud pumping heart, feeling so much stronger. "And Hitch?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for rhyming!"

ehehe, and of course Discord ends it on a meta note, and also brings up further questions about what it even means for a rhyming in the narration to be diegetic. 

---

just fantastic work on this one. really loved it!

[dunno]

11504824
Thanks for your review and for organizing the event!
Cheers