This is a short chapter from a larger story I'm working on. I really, really liked the way it turned out, so I decided to post it by itself before it inevitably gets rewritten for the third time.
Just kidding, the larger story has been written, here!
Alternate Universe - Due to the Cutie Mark Crusaders being non-existent. (Until the full story gets released) Along with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo's backstories being different.
Slice Of Life - Just an excerpt randomly from Rarity's and Sweetie Belle's life.
Teen - Talks about Abandonment, foal neglect, foal abuse.
Although the image is directly from the show, the cover art was cut out by IronM17 on Deviant Art.
Chapters (2)
Yes, this is quite well done!
There's a lot of bad parenting going on among the Mane Six's parents on FIMFic lately it seems. Feels like I just read I Live With a Monster.
I haven't seen much with these two in a bit! A fun little read. Your writing is pretty good too. Only thing that kinda distracted me was your consistent use of 'black hole' as a descriptor metaphor throughout the story. It was three or four times, which for 2k words can really stick out as repetitive.
Still, that's a minor critique really.
Nice stuff!
11270527
Thank you much! Now that you mention it, I think I’ll go back in the morning and change the black hole metaphors. I only write when I’m tired and that was probably something I just blanked on. I think I remember trying to do something with the metaphor but got distracted. It’s a little better explained in my first draft I think. Thanks.
is a really good chapter, looking forward to the rest of the story
Yes! Please, I beg you, finish this glorious work in progress!
Victims getting the help and therapy they need is perhaps my very favorite thing to read about. It's also something that I think is severely underrepresented on this site. Though that's due in no small part to the messed up fetishy fantasies of abusing children far outweighing the more genuine, serious ones.
Even better that the one being helped is Scootaloo, one of my top three favorite characters! Words cannot describe my ecstasy for this upcoming novel. Please, release it soon and feed my craving!
11345243
Yes sir! I can maybe send you a sneak peak when i get home. Unfortunately, this story was put on the back burner and elements of it are being incorperated into my more recent story. It’ll be a while before I finish it, but I’d be happy to send you over a rough draft when I get home.
11345534
Wha-hah-hait, what?
*Deep breath*
Words fail to describe your generosity, O great and good author. Yes, please, most magnanimous individual, I would be all too happy to receive such a noble gift.
Any humble advice I can offer is yours in recompense for this gracious offer. Any skills I may happen to possess in the way of proofreading and/or editing are completely at your service.
Anything I can do to get this most assuredly wonderfully heartwarming novel out into the world expediently, I will gleefully perform.
11345811
Nawh, it’s all right. Your services are not required. I’m going to bed, but I can send it tomorrow afternoon. I scrapped this current draft, so when I get around to finishing it, it’ll be completely unrecognizable. Just keep an eye on your DMs, and I’ll send it, along with a detailed authors note of why this version is garbage in my eyes.
11345824
Understood, good sir. I await this draft with glee and wish you luck on your future writing.