• Published 21st Apr 2022
  • 1,442 Views, 73 Comments

Space Engineers: Starship Unknown - Stalin with Da Spoon



Captain Jack and his fellow engineers have landed in Equestria after a close encounter with an old enemy, crashing down to the planet to find themselves stranded, with no way of calling for help, but the captain and crew won't give up hope so easily.

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6: Strange Times

Author's Note:

Notice: Story has been slightly re-written, recommend re-reading other chapters before reading this one.

Splitsie and Capac's ship slowly drifted through the void, propelled only by their thrusters set to low power mode, as a large scanner dish slowly aligned itself with the moon of the planet below, scanning it's surface as the data gathered was displayed on a virtual screen within the ship's cramped cockpit.

"Alright, scans show this planet's moon has a large amount of natural resources abundant, including gold, copper, silver, and other good shit. And conveniently, it's all pretty close to it's surface, so setting up a mining operation would be pretty profitable." Splitsie said as he read the data while Capac nodded.

"Yeah, considering were the first out here, we get to have it all to ourselves too."

"Yep, that's the best part. Alright, now boot up the mapping systems and find us a place to land. Once we touch down, we can set up a base of operations and start mining this moon till it's dry." Capac nodded as he flipped a switch on his terminal, looking at his screen as he mapped the moon's surface, before looking to the planet below.

"Ya noticed the sun and moon both orbiting the planet?"

"Eh, it's probably some optical illusion, just ignore it."

"Alright. But why didn't we just take the carrier here, would've made this easier if we had access to it's equipment."

"Yeah, but the Skywarp sticks out like a sore thumb and would draw unwanted attention. That's why were out here, to scout it out and make sure it's safe and secure before we call up TFE. He'll then arrive with the carrier once we get the initial stages of the base set up."

"Damn, that's a solid plan."

"I am very adept at tactical thinking. Now then, find us a place to land so we get to work." Capac nodded, as he began scanning the moons surface until he located a clear landing zone, and marked it for the navigation system to lock onto, as the ship approached the lunar LZ, with Splitsie rubbing his hands together. "Time to bring me my money!"

"Don't you mean our money?"

"Great, you ruined the reference."


Captain Jack paced nervously around the Bridge as Craz, Reed, and Venom sitting in their seats and awaiting his speech.

"Alright everyone, since everyone else is asleep right now and you are the highest ranking on this ship beside myself, I believe it is best to listen to your input on this... Confusing matter. I assume that Craz has briefed you on what we just experienced outside?" Everyone nodded. "Alright, I need to know how we respond to talking magical ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. Any ideas?"

"Why don't we attempt to negotiate with them? They are clearly intelligent, perhaps speaking with them would allow us to bridge the gap between species and establish relations between their nation and RWI. Even if they are unwilling to cooperate, understanding them could be key to surviving this foreign world."

"A good idea Reed. Craz, what do you say?"

"I agree with Reed, mainly because I like patting the ponies." A series of chuckles escaped from the rest of the officers.

"Oh for fu- Nevermind. Venom, what's your opinion?"

"I honestly dunno sir, I think it may be a trick, could be some kind of hologram meant to lure us. Heck, even if they are real they may be in kahoots with those rouge bandits who shot us down, they may be bandits themselves."

"A valid concern, but we won't know unless we investigate. Castle and Finn are currently handiling it out there, so for right now we will tune into their comms and helmet cameras to listen in and watch how it goes." Jack said before turning and pressing a few buttons at a computer terminal, as the center display screen activated and displayed the helmet feed of Castle and speakers broadcasted his voice while Jack sat in his recently fix command chair and watched the show.

"Alright, now this, little ponies, is what we call a welder." Castle said as he raised the metal tool high and the ponies made sounds of intrigue. "This little bad boy is an engineers best friend. It can help you fix the smallest circuits and build the biggest battleships."

"That tiny little thing can build stuff like that?" Rainbow said as she pointed past Castle to the wrecked Tigris.

"Yep, although the Tigris was actually built by welder ships, but that's different. Besides, the welder is not my favorite tool personally. But this is!" Castle said as he chuckled before pulling out his grinder, spinning the blade as the ponies slightly backed up. "Say hello to my little friend, the grinder! This can grind down practically anything, just watch." He said before turning and spinning up the blade as he grinded down a large piece of scrap metal, reducing it to it's base components as the ponies watched in awe.

"That is cool!"

"Seems a bit dangerous, but definitely handy."

"Oooh oooh, can I try it?" Pinkie said as she bobbed up and down and waved her hoof around.

"Uhhh... Sure?" Castle said handing the grinder to Pinkie, as she somehow gripped it with her hooves before laughing like a maniac and proceeding to grind down any scrap metal in sight, leaving behold only components as she zipped back in front of Castle, handing him back his grinder and smiling. "How- How in the bloody hell did you do it that quick!?! And with bloody hooves no less!"

"Yeah, you would make a great salvager." Finn commented, chuckling to himself before he reached over his shoulder and procured his standard assault rifle, with the ponies staring in intrigue, as Twilight quickly got out a notepad and quickly started making sketches of the weapon and the tools. "Now this is an engineers most trusted method of self defense. The RWI AX-54 Assault Rifle. Capable of firing both in an atmosphere and in a vacuum, one magazine holds about thirty bullets, and it's got solid accuracy and a good rate of fire. This bad boy alone has killed about thirty drone soldiers in total, of course it did nothing against the actual flying drones, but that's why Castle had a rocket launcher."

"What's a rocket launcher?" Fluttershy timidly asked.

"This bad boy!" Castle proudly proclaimed before reaching over his shoulder and procuring a large rocket launcher, with the ponies slightly backing away in worry and fear, except for Pinkie Pie who stuck her head in the barrel.

"Cool! I think I can hear an echo!"

"Hey, get your head out of there, this is a highly powerful and dangerous explosive launching apparatus! Or as a man of culture would call it, a boomstick." Castle said before pulling Pinkie out by the tail as she giggled. "Now would anybody like a test demonstration?" Both Twilight and Pinkie raised their hooves, as Castle turned to Finn.

"Lemme guess, you need a target?"

"Yep."

"Alright, gimme a sec." Finn said before quickly drawing his welder, looking to his wrist computer as he projected a hologram of a cardboard cutout with targets on it before constructing it with his welder, quickly backing away as Castle chuckled before activating the targetting sight on the launcher and taking aim. "Alright everyone, get ready for a big boom!" Castle pulled the trigger, as a rocket sailed out of the barrel before impacting the target with a mighty boom, leaving nothing but a crater as the ponies stared absolutely flabbergasted. "And that my friends, is the humble rocket launcher."


The hull of the Venator slowly began to heat up rapidly as it entered the atmosphere, searing hot flames washing over it's armor as it began to lightly shake and rattle. "Atmospheric entry commencing, hull stable." TIUS said as Jack let out a sight of relief.

"Alright, at least we won't combust and explode before we even reach the ground. TIUS, can you hone in on the signal of those freelancers we helped out?"

"Negative, it appears their GPS transponder was damaged in the skirmish, I cannot detect it's current location with the Venator's sensors. We would have to land and construct a much more powerful relay."

"Well then, guess we got an objective, because now that we wasted the jump core, we gotta rely on our new friends to get us back home. Hopefully we can cash in a favor for helping them." Jack said as he adjusted the Venators heading, angiling it to where the bottom was taking the majority of the heat and slowing their descent. The flames soon ceased with the ship fully entering the atmosphere as the hull cooled down and the Venator emerged from the clouds over a large mountain range, illuminated only by the moon in the sky. "Alright, try and find us a suitable spot to land, we'll set up camp and in the morning try to get a relay up and running."

"Alright, commencing ground reconnaissance." Morphologis said as he activated a camera mounted on the bottom of the Venator from his control seat, engaging night vision so he could properly see the ground. "Seems like were coming over a bit of a barren environment, kinda like a desert. Think I see a clear patch right... Here." Morphologis marked the landing area with a blue beacon as the Venator slowly descended, extending out it's landing gear as it touched and the back ramp lowered while the front cockpits opened. As the crew disembarked, Wasted stretched himself out.

"Good to finally be off that rock. Air feels a bit cleaner here to be honest, though there is a bit of sand. And considering the last time sand was involved, I think I hate it."

"Ok Anakin."

"Ha ha, very funny."

Comments ( 7 )

Hehehehehehehehehehehe! Ah the references, they get me right here[Points to heart]. I look forward to more of ponies learning the art that is Engineering.

Do you watch Captain Jack because the second chapter's name is something he said kind of and I'm going to I'm going to put in my favorites and I even read it yet

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If I may ask, do you remember what episode one of them started singing that? My Little Welder?

Oh dear, Venator is going to have problems with Changeling Space Program, and the origional crew has Pinkie using cheat codes on their gear?

At least they dont have to worry about Starbug appearing.

Or even the JMC Red Dwarf.:pinkiecrazy:

Oh no. Someone is watching Assertive Acquisition. This is bad. Very bad. Now there are three loony Aussies out there plus crazy English men and psychotic Scots. Aussies planning to dig on her moon.

This is horrible, and yet I can not look away...

Comment posted by EvilTreerat deleted May 27th, 2023

This, this story is beautiful! Keep it up! 😄👍

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