• Member Since 10th Feb, 2019
  • offline last seen 30 minutes ago

SuperSaiyanDiclonius


Comments ( 22 )

11207910
Are you not familiar with the history of the Mantis Warriors?

Interesting we will see if this story has any potential.

11207923


WH40K has MORE lore and history than with something like Star Wars or Halo. It's HARD to memorize them all. BUT, I do know they are loyalist.

11210223
Loyalist White Scars successors that were stationed near the Maelstrom for so long that most of their chapter were descendants of Tranquillity II.

They sided with the Astral Claws during the Badab War, gave the Carcharodons a hard with guerrilla warfare. To which, the sharky bois responded by attacking Tranquillity II and slaughtering its populace to draw the Mantis Warriors into open melee...Audius is my headcanon for happened to the poor fellow seen in this fic's cover art.

"TWILIGHT!WENEEDYOURHELP!THERE'SSOMEFREAKYMONSTERTEARIN'UPTHEEVERFREE!!!!"
I'd suggest adding spaces between the sentence. Beyond that, the story is pretty enjoyable!

11215289
The point was she's speaking so fast, it came out as an indiscernible mess.

11215295
True, but it does mess a touch with the formatting, which was my only "issue", if it could even be called that.

Mad dreadnaught with a quirk opposite to TF2 Pyro's. Just peachy.

Is their going to be a sequel to this after you finish

11259588
I plan to conclude Audius' story by the end of this fic, but I'm considering repurposing him in the Grimdark 6.

Well, that's sad to see the ending but it's understandable why you gave it a short ending.

11296863
True maybe someone else can make a story of this and get it the original ending?

Bet he would wake up for the Caribou. They could be the evil xenos.

Just a suggestion, if this is the ending for this fic, you should put it as "Complete" not "Incomplete" as it is now. This way you don't give prospective readers false hope that there is more, as is what happened in my case.

Huh, a 40k crossover that doesn't fellate the Imperium, recognizes how awful everyone in that setting is, and how truly traumatic the endless conflict would be? Wow, instant thumbs up from me! Most 40k stories are from people who don't seem to comprehend that the IoM isn't actually good and that most of the warriors from the IG to the Space Marines have kind of awful lives.

Definitely a good story, but part of me feels like the last chapter should have been the end. This one feels incredibly rushed with all tell and no show, and just kinda ends. It felt less like a natural place to end the story and more a forced end.

11455261
That's because it was rushed. The original plan was for King Sombra to turn up and enslave Audius, forcing Luna to set him free from his ptsd in the hopes that he at least kills Sombra too.

Sombra would counter by transforming into a giant phantom of Tyberos that towers over Dreadnoughts the way the real Tyberos towers over Space Marines.

One cathartic boss fight later, Audius is too damaged to purge anyone else and asks Luna to put him back to sleep.

I'm hoping to write all that out later, but life's a bitch, and it just got worse yesterday.

11461721
This is infinitely better without any of that. Rushed or not, Sombra never makes things better, even less so when the author makes him that OP.

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