SuperSaiyanDiclonius
Joined 10th Feb, 2019 ·
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emerged?
creatures of myth?
had got away? or maybe gotten?
they had been enslaved?
Chrysalis's or Righteous Fury's forces
they don't need me anymore
I enjoyed this ending but I was disappointed they never learned that they had other options the weather corporation never told them about, that they could have saved pretty much everyone but chose not to.
The original had an open ending that left the door wide open for a sequel at some point so I can't really call this an alternate ending because I still think at some point AuroraDawn will continue from that point so this isn't an alternate ending it's an ending because the original doesn't have one.
I think i'm going to keep this one as headcanon unless AuroraDawn writes a sequel with a similar plot.
Are you planning on writing more of it? I assumed it was going to be a series but it looks like a complete single chapter oneshot, i'm not sure where you would go if you did as we've already timeskipped to years after the event yet the story is marked incomplete.
10964612
The story is Complete, I forgot to mark as such. The majority of the Factory's inner personnel were aware of the other option but had the asinine idea that Equestria needed to be destroyed for their debt to the Factory.
Imma go check those typos real quick. Thanks.
10964612
Fixed them.
10964664
But the ones that didn't work in the factory weren't and on top of that were lied to for generations that it was luna's fault that they even had to do it.
"This is all horrible stuff we had to do because luna" isn't nearly as bad as "actually we could have saved almost everyone but instead we let almost everyone die and lied about it to make ourselves look like saviors and setup pegasi as the master race."
10964730
Yeah, that's fair. I suppose I could write that in, but I'll do it later. I've been writing this for two weeks.
Made a tribute video for this fic if anyone's interested.
Up until like half of the story I thought this was setting up for an amazing war fic that'd last tens of thousands words, just because the story was marked incomplete. A shame it wasn't though, it sonded really interesting
10965956
Sorry, the competition has a 10k word cap, so I made it a curbstomp. I might redo it later, but I am writing something else already.
10964730
Sorry it took so long, but I added some bits about them learning that Luna wasn't at fault.
10980418
Thanks!
Noticed one more typo on the second read through.
morale
10980538
Thanks.
Meanwhile...
Oct 28th, 2032
Reichsführer's Office, Rainbow Factory No.1, World Class Cloud Fortress: Iron Sky
1700
"So, is this all?" Asked a tan pegasus stallion with a grey mane dressed in a black uniform with a peaked cap. Who sat behind a large wooden desk as he stared at the young grey pegasus dressed in field grey coveralls who had given him the file.
"Y-yes, Sir, it has the entire report," she stuttered as her empty grey eye twitched. "W-will that be all, Sir?"
He smirked slightly in response. "Yes, Captain Cloud Cover, that will be all,"
She then saluted, before swiftly turning and leaving out the door. "Now, it would appear I have a world to burn," he said to himself before giving a short, cold chortle.
Meanwhile...
Oct 28th, 2045
Yazov's Bunker, Omsk, Russia, Russian Reclamation Government
1800
"Comrade Yazov, it would appear that, in another dimension, the ponies launched a Great Trial against the pegasi!" Said a radioman as he turned to Grand Marshal Dimitri Yazov who stood beside him.
"Well, this won't end well once Pegasopolis finds out..." He stopped himself before realization struck. "Let me guess: we heard it from them didn't we?" The other man simply nodded in response. "Well, they're screwed... Unless we get there first!"
11030854
If this is foreshadowing a sequel to Retribution, please shoot me a link when you post the first chapter.
This was satisfying thanks for taking the time to write it
11703262
No prob.